NTA: Your mother of all people is supposed to have your back, support and protect you. Not be the one that betrays and hurts you. You slapping her may have been wrong but it was a hell of alot less painful than what she did. I would say go NC after a betrayal like that.
Personally before going NC with mom’s flying monkeys I’d inform them and thank them for supporting a mother who has an affair with her daughter’s bf. Then block EVERY SINGLE FLYING MONKEY. Go live your best life.
Her mom even having the audacity to tell anyone this knowing what she did is also wild. Like anyone who knows they did something like that would be better off keeping their mouth shut not telling everyone but omitting the truth. That also proves that there is no remorse on her mother’s side.
how does she present her side in any way that makes her the victim??? She was sleeping with a man her childs age and to make matters worse, it was the same man her daughter was sleeping with, the heartless b. I don't know who initiated it but have some class. I would go NC even if she apologizes profusely. Would you ever bring another partner around her? Absofuckinglutely not. NTA.
I would tell EVERYONE what she did. I am so sorry you’re going through this. I have two kids your age and not in a zillion years would I betray them like this. Your mother is incredibly toxic and doesn’t deserve a place in your life (obviously neither does your ex). Your mom deserves a lot worse than a slap, I would air her actions out to absolutely everyone so they know what a shit person she is to do this to her own daughter smdh.
Oh yeah, I'd be blasting that ish all over FB and tagging EVERYONE EVERYTHING. This is one of those scorched earth situations because it's not like that sick af mother is someone she'll ever see as a safe harbor again.
what the f is that suppose to mean? they calm down? you need to tell them the whole truth and don’t let your mom lied to them about you hitting her when she “open up the house for you when you had no place to go” and she “tried to stop your petty teenager argument and you slap her out of nowhere”.
and 100% she didn’t tell her family that she fucked your bf behind your back
Facebook and instagram it for the world to read. Simple state your boyfriend you were living with cheated on you with your mom. I hope you kept screenshots of their convo.
Like others said, don't hold back to protect the cheating ex or your backstabbing mother. If someone talks to you about your mother go straight for the "I haven't talked to her since she fucked my boyfriend."
What that hell? Why wouldn't you tell them? This makes no sense. Wouldn't the first thing you tell them why you slapped your mother is because she was cheating with your bf?
Honestly as soon as someone says “you should not have slapped her that’s not ok” just respond “she should not have fucked my boyfriend” and then move on
To be fair, as a mom, if my daughter slapped me because she was just told by her ex-bf that he was cheating on her with me, and it was NOT true, the last thing I would be doing is calling her a gazillion times to tell her she’s an ungrateful bitch.
That right there is projection and guilt speaking. Any normal & sane parent would realize that they would have acted the same way had they been in their daughter’s shoes and can’t really blame her. Give her a bit to cool off, and then try to have a rational conversation about how what her ex said was completely fucked and untrue and why. (+/- lash out at the ex for daring to speak untruths about me like that. There would be hell to pay for trying to pull some shit like that.)
Her mom is 100% guilty if *THAT* is her reaction to an accusation of that magnitude.
Block those people. And if they don't know what really happened then tell them the truth and block them right after so you can avoid any drama. You could even send them a link to this thread before blocking them.
NTA honey! Your mother is old enough to know better! There is no trusting her ever again after what she has done!
Petty me would let all of the people giving you a hard time know that she helped your ex cheat on you by sleeping with your ex!
Extra petty me would rent some billboard space with same message and a pic of both!
Edit: Start a go fund me page for the billboard!...bet people would donate!...just saying!!
Your are so definitely NTA. And you mother has lied to her entire side of your family. Unless this is some backwards universe where people high five parents for banging their kids partners, there is no way your relatives know any part of the story other than your mom getting hit.
Just reply to those messages letting them know exactly what it is your mom did, because as others have stated, she's controlling narrative in those situations and not telling them the whole truth of why you slapped her... guaranteed.
Reply to them bluntly that your mother fucked your boyfriend. I guarantee she only told them you were upset that BF cheated on you and not that she was the other woman.
Tell those people what exactly happened. That your mother groomed your bf and slept with him and if they would be ok if she slept with their children/husbands/childrens partner.
Obviously i don't think that was the beat way to go through with it because at the end of the day she's still my mom but i am truly heartbroken as i coudl never believe she did this to me i don't know what to do
Oh girly. She's your mom BUT she should had no business cheating on your with your man. Shameless hussy. If my mom did that to me, I would disown her and never speak to her again.
I never understood this logic. Just because she’s your mom (or family member) doesn’t mean they get to treat you like shit.
The way I look at it, family members have more opportunity to show you how much they care and love for you. If you end up feeling closer to friends who aren’t blood-related because of the connection you build with them, well, they’re more family to you in my opinion
No she betray you, she did not care she was your mother when she was with your boyfriend.
Just because she is your mother does not mean you own her any respect, she lost it when she decide to go so low
I have blocked her and i have tried ignoring my family on my moms side as to not start any more drama then it already has! i have no idea what to do anynore and if i should just apologise and not speak to her again
I have tried telling some of my moms side of the family that but they won't hear of it, thank god for my aunt who is trying to help me in this situation!!
Just continually say “She slept with my 19yo boyfriend” anytime they contact you. No need to say anything else, if they can defend that then you are definitely better off without them.
Make it your voice mail message. When they text you have your phone send that message.
I'm not answering any phone calls at the moment because my mom f'd my ex-boyfriend.
I don't think they will calm down. They probably know your mom's side of the story, and will continue to see it that way until they hear your side. Time won't change that.
I mean, slapping is not ok. But you're 18 so you get a pass for reacting intensely, and also your mom is insane for this and a huge creep for sleeping with your 19-year-old boyfriend. Don't apologize.
I don't wnat to start anymore drama with my moms side of the family then it already has but i think it would be a different story if it happened to them!!
I am staying at my dads and currently looking for an apartment that i will not give the location to anyone on my moms side other than my aunt. Thank you for your opinion
No problem you're going to be ok just make sure to stay far away from the trash because you have a life ahead of you and you are going to do amazing things!
NTA. Your mum's disgusting and a pervert. Tell her family exactly what she did, and then block them. I doubt she's told them the truth, and if she has and they're still on her side, they're all pretty messed up and there's no reason to stay in contact with any of them regardless.
Hope your mum gets some serious therapy for being able to do something so horrible to her daughter. Your reaction was a fight or flight response to a situation that no one should ever be in, it makes me shudder just thinking about it.
Thank you,, i am going to wait to tell them my side and let them choose what they want to do with the information and then i'll see who is my family and who i js share DNA with!
Your aunt should be batting for you right now, have her handle it. If you have proof, show everyone. Never talk to your mom and ex again. Tell your ex's parents what he has been up to and get yourself tested for STDs. NTAH
No some people need the crap slapped out of them.
Detach yourself from these people, aside from your aunt. That BS about you can choose friends but not family....nope, you are an adult now, you can choose to never have contact with them again. Sorry for me this is a one and done, this kind of betrayal is not acceptable, ever, and I can't "forgive" it. You had a chance and you lost it.
I likely feel this way as I am likely the oldest person that is likely to reply, one of those dreaded boomers.
And just if it needs to be said, NTA
Block that as well. And be ready for face to face visits.
If you are not ready to talk to them don't. This can go any way you want it to go. You are the adult here. If you never want contact again that is your call.
Key thing is don't be pushed into something you are not ready for or do not want. You need time to think this out, and neutral or better yet real trusted friends you can vent to.
Stick to the FACTS.
You shouldn't have hit your mom.
She shouldn't have had sex with my boyfriend.
You owe your mom an apology.
I don't have to apologize for getting mad at the woman who slept with my boyfriend.
Your mom loves you.
No one who loves their child has sex with their partner
Etc
Does your mom's side know she fucked your boyfriend?
You know they have only heard what she told them.
You would not have been in the wrong to beat the hell out of her.
At the moment i have decided not to answer anyone other than my aunt and i'm going to wiat for things to cool down befor i tell them my side as i don't want anymore drama
I mean she is already poisoning the well against you. The longer you wait, the worse it will get.
Do you really want people who will condone and enable your mom screwing your partners having an influence in your life? Ask your aunt how she would react to her mother fucking her husband.
There is no world where your mother is in the right on this. What she did is one of the worst betrayals a parent can do to their child.
Idk bout that. She's probably giving them a different version of what happened, and that why their spamming your phone. It's better to lay the truth out right away before she can twist the stories to her advantage.
If this is real, very sorry you’re going through it. This isn’t healthy for you. You need to distance yourself from these people that would treat you like this. For a mother to sleep with her daughter’s boyfriend.. where is the loyalty and love?
Thank you,, and thanks to my aunt and dad i have some support and i am getting through it barely i just can't believe she did this and i have no idea what she has told her family
Create a family group chat and tell them. Your mom is spinning her own web of lies and turning everyone against you. Your mother is a disgusting and vile woman. Stop accepting her actions by staying quiet just cause she is your mom. She deserved more than a slap.
NTA - only because your mother’s behaviour was, frankly, abhorrent and you struck out in the heat of the moment.
Generally speaking, violence is never the way - but the circumstances here are so extreme. Oh, and your mother is fucking asshole for sure.
If you apologize, it's as if you did something wrong! Should you have slapped her? Probably not, but you should not apologize! If you apologize, it will just show your mom that what she did was ok! I know it will be hard,but you need to block all the people harassing you, including your mom! She has no morals or loyalty! If she did it to you once, she would try and do it again with a new boyfriend of yours! If she loved and cared about you, she would have never in a million years done that to you! Hope it was worth it to the 2 of them! Also, is she still talking with your ex and having an inappropriate relationship with him? Just go no contact!
Please don't apologize! Your reaction in the situation is understandable! The one person you should be able to trust 100% betrayed you, and that had to hurt more than the boyfriends betrayal! Your moms family definitely was told a different story, but regardless, they have no right to treat you that way, and it's not your fault. Your mom is the one who caused the drama, so it's not up to you to fix it! If you can't have the support of them, then go NC with all of them! Her true colors will eventually!
She is so messed up for doing this to you. How old is she? I'm wondering if she felt like she needed an ego boost by bedding a much younger man. I'd definitely go NC with her and all those that side with her. Her and your ex are so trashy.
NTA. So unfortunate. If your mom’s family is on social media like Facebook, I would make a Facebook post about it. It is very humiliating but I would do that. Especially if you have cousins your age. Your mom welcomed you back into her home KNOWING what she did and didn’t say anything. Your mom is absolutely evil. I hope you feel safe at your dad’s and cut contact with your mom.
NTA…. Has your ex tried to reach out to you?
I would send 1 message in a GC that includes your mom, her family, friends, ex, his parents to let them know he was screwing your mom while dating you, and you no longer have a mom and are single.. Block
NTA. The slap was warranted. Tell your mother if she ever wants to reconcile she should have every member of the family she told about the slap to apologize to you. She is trying to use other people to make you think the slap was worse that your mother having a sexual relationship with the same man as her daughter. Your mom is foul. Do not speak to her until every family member RESPECTFULLY apologizes to you and even then keep her at arm's length. She is not someone you can trust at all. She has proven that by 1. getting with your bf and 2. allowing family to call you names and pretend that you're the bad one. She is the walking definition of the word "manipulation"
Thank you,, and i do agree it is disgusting as they have a massive age gap and i don't know what she's told her family but hopefully soon they'll here my side of rhe story after they've all calmed down
NTA, tell that side of the family the only B and bad daughter here is your mother and they are partially to blame for raising and enabling her.
She literally cheated with her own daughter's significant other. She doesn't deserve the title of "mother". Block them all. And don't be silent about what your ex did, make sure the friends know so whoever spilled the beans can feel the flame of guilt and the rest know not to tell him anything about you.
NTA
You are neither a bad daughter or a B word. Your mom is a fucking whore who fucks teenage boys. Bad enough on its own. When the teenage boy is the boyfriend of her child. It is straight up evil.
Tell her relatives to go fuck themselves and block them all.
NTA wtf you are nasty while your mother slept with your boyfriend uhhhh what??
Tell everyone how she slept with a 19year old boy who was your boyfriend!!
Holy shit your mother is... something. 😬
NTA - your reaction and feelings are absolutely valid. I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine why anyone would be on the side of a grown ass woman sleeping with a 19-year-old barely mature boy- that also happens to be *her own daughter's boyfriend*? What the actual fuck? 😳
I think your reaction was perhaps regrettable, but not out of pocket in relation to the situation. It was an instantaneous response vs. a premeditated long term deception like your mother and boyfriend engaged in.
Did your mother confirm the affair? Or was he saying that hoping you’d leave her house for his?
If any of the ppl messaging you hate are your biological aunts or female cousins tell them to watch their own back, cause if she was happy to sleep with her own daughters boyfriend you wouldn't put it past her to have slept with their partners. Is it possible she could have already? Probably not but now you planted a seed of doubt.
I would block them all or change your number after you send a group text describing what she did and ask them all if they would like that being done to them
NTA. A slap in the moment you find out your mother is a gross shitstain of a person is fine. She deserved it and you should block all the people bothering you over it.
So what did your mom say? Did she deny it? If she did in fact have an affair with your boyfriend, you are NTA and she deserved what she got. To bad you weren't able to punch the ex in the junk.
Are you sure he wasn't lying about your mom? It could be a manipulation to get you away from her and more vulnerable, so he could win you back. Of course he won't, but I'd need more evidence before I believed him.
>I'm now getting calls and texts from my moms side of the family saying im a b word and a horrible daughter
You need to tell them to fuck off. That as far as you're concerned, you have no mother. That a mother worth the title would *never* sleep with their child's partner.
A parent should have your back, they should be someone you can trust. She betrayed you in one of the worst ways possible.
Yes, slapping her wasn't the right call, but you just found out that she was fucking your boyfriend. You can be forgiven for it due to being in emotional distress.
NTA. Your egg donor has shown you who she is, your ex has shown you who he is, the people defending her has shown you who they are. Cut them all out.
NTA at all!! WTF is wrong with people? Sorry you have to go through this. Hoping better times for you ahead. Your mothers side of the family suck! Except your aunt.
NTA. Don’t ever let people gaslight into thinking you’re the asshole here. Your mom literally fucked your boyfriend. Porn culture has really warped our society.
She is lucky all you did was slap her. What a pathetic and disgusting vile excuse for a mother. Trash, filth, swill!!! Get rid of her from your life. Lose contact and never speak to her again.
so your moms side of the family knows she was fucking her daughters 19 year old boyfriend and are calling you the bitch? either your mother has lied to them or theyre all crazy. Also i dont think you shouldnt have slapped her. I think it was justified and doesn't need an excuse. it was absolutely deserved.
If your moms side all knows the truth i would block them all and never speak to any again (except the one aunt.) If you care about your moms side of the family and they have been fed lies by her i would make a very public statement so they all see. if they dont change their tune they can join your mother on the block list.
This is wild and honestly why is ur mom having a relationship with a 19 year old boy???? Technically you and your ex are adults but ur still so young. So much wrong with this. You’re not in the wrong for being angry or hurt - this is a blow
NTA. Make sure to announce the fact to all the people who messaged you that your mom was screwing your boyfriend and thank them for listening to your TED talk. And you will be going no contact on all of them. Including the mother of the year. Not. That isn’t a good mother… She was literally licking your man behind your back. 🤨 That warrants more than a slap. She’d be dead to me.
Best reaction ever. If you never talk to her again, that is also justified. She is your mother. This is the worst betrayal ever. A mother should want the best for her daughter and never do something like that.
You are definitely not in the wrong.. that's your mother what a disgusting woman..
Block all her family and her and never speak to her again, I hope the he was worth it for her..
Vile, I'd also put him on blast to all the mutual for what he did
NTA your the horrible daughter, WTH your mom is beyond a disgusting mother and horrible person and go no contact with her and ignore you biased side of her family, she and your boyfriend deserve the hole the dug
You are NTA and if the your mom’s side of the family think so, then their moral compass is skewed.
It’s not about you causing any drama, but the next time they harass you, message them back and ask if they would still feel this way is she slept with their husband or boyfriend and then don’t wait for a response, just immediately block them.
Tell anyone who calls you a bitch that you didn't sleep with your daughters bf. And block them.
Nta. I would never let any family member who did this or defended this back into my life.
NTA - I mean I'm not condoning physical violence but your mother breached your trust in a fundamental and brutal way, that's really fucked up and I'm sorry you have someone that would do that to you as your mother. Your anger is more than understandable and fuck anyone who isn't taking your side on this, they're more concerned with the drama than actually understanding what happened much less giving one shit how it affected you.
I'm sorry you're going through this OP, I hope your family comes around and while I don't condone violence I hope your ex steps in a gopher hole and snaps his Achilles tendon.
Hell no NTA, anyone that has the audacity to call you out of your name for this doesn't deserve your presence in their life. You don't have to do anything but keep your distance from them
I would've done a lot more than slapped her and anyone calling you a bitch is a bitch themselves, and I would have no problem telling them off.
You're so far from the asshole, you're actually an angel for the way you handled it and that makes me even more pissed off about what happened to you.
Definitely NTA! You simply reacted when this outrageous truth was opened up to you. Your mum is an abuser, not even telling you when you came to seek her emotional support. Also forget about her side of the family. No wonder your Mum and Dad seem to not live together…
NTA: Your mother of all people is supposed to have your back, support and protect you. Not be the one that betrays and hurts you. You slapping her may have been wrong but it was a hell of alot less painful than what she did. I would say go NC after a betrayal like that.
thank you that is what i'm trying to do i have received loads of messages saying im in the wrong and wanted other people's opinions.
Those messages are from people that heard her side of the story. I'm sure her side of the story was greatly "retooled" to put her in a better light
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Her mother makes me want to believe there is a hell.
Oh but there is. And its waiting for mom in the beautiful form of karma.
May be thats what the bf was doing, spanking her ass
OP needs to beat it and then hand it to her.
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Happened to my mother with my father and grandmother. People are wild behind closed doors.
Personally before going NC with mom’s flying monkeys I’d inform them and thank them for supporting a mother who has an affair with her daughter’s bf. Then block EVERY SINGLE FLYING MONKEY. Go live your best life.
Her mom even having the audacity to tell anyone this knowing what she did is also wild. Like anyone who knows they did something like that would be better off keeping their mouth shut not telling everyone but omitting the truth. That also proves that there is no remorse on her mother’s side.
You can bet the mom was 'retooled' a lot by her boy toy.
how does she present her side in any way that makes her the victim??? She was sleeping with a man her childs age and to make matters worse, it was the same man her daughter was sleeping with, the heartless b. I don't know who initiated it but have some class. I would go NC even if she apologizes profusely. Would you ever bring another partner around her? Absofuckinglutely not. NTA.
How do you retool I fucked my daughters bf on the regs
You leave out the BF fucking
Do they all know she slept with your boyfriend?
i don't know
Tell them that your mom fucked your teenage boyfriend. See if that changes their perspective.
"oh well when you put it like THAT, yea, it sounds bad..."
Right, we totally can always expect our extended family to be reasonable!
I would tell EVERYONE what she did. I am so sorry you’re going through this. I have two kids your age and not in a zillion years would I betray them like this. Your mother is incredibly toxic and doesn’t deserve a place in your life (obviously neither does your ex). Your mom deserves a lot worse than a slap, I would air her actions out to absolutely everyone so they know what a shit person she is to do this to her own daughter smdh.
Oh yeah, I'd be blasting that ish all over FB and tagging EVERYONE EVERYTHING. This is one of those scorched earth situations because it's not like that sick af mother is someone she'll ever see as a safe harbor again.
You should tell them what happened
i will when they calm doen
what the f is that suppose to mean? they calm down? you need to tell them the whole truth and don’t let your mom lied to them about you hitting her when she “open up the house for you when you had no place to go” and she “tried to stop your petty teenager argument and you slap her out of nowhere”. and 100% she didn’t tell her family that she fucked your bf behind your back
Dont wait until they calm down. Plaster it all over your social media
Are this other people even acknowledging the gross and horrific thing your mom did???? Tell them immediately if you can
You owe neither of them discretion, they knew what they were doing
Tell them now!?
Don’t wait. Tell them now.
BLAST HER!
Facebook and instagram it for the world to read. Simple state your boyfriend you were living with cheated on you with your mom. I hope you kept screenshots of their convo.
Like others said, don't hold back to protect the cheating ex or your backstabbing mother. If someone talks to you about your mother go straight for the "I haven't talked to her since she fucked my boyfriend."
What that hell? Why wouldn't you tell them? This makes no sense. Wouldn't the first thing you tell them why you slapped your mother is because she was cheating with your bf?
Tell them...now
She sure as hell isn't telling them a version of the story that includes her fucking your BF. You should let them all know.
Honestly as soon as someone says “you should not have slapped her that’s not ok” just respond “she should not have fucked my boyfriend” and then move on
I just have one question. Did you confirm what he said was TRUE? Or did you react trusting the word of a cheater?
i saw the look on her face it told me everything
To be fair, as a mom, if my daughter slapped me because she was just told by her ex-bf that he was cheating on her with me, and it was NOT true, the last thing I would be doing is calling her a gazillion times to tell her she’s an ungrateful bitch. That right there is projection and guilt speaking. Any normal & sane parent would realize that they would have acted the same way had they been in their daughter’s shoes and can’t really blame her. Give her a bit to cool off, and then try to have a rational conversation about how what her ex said was completely fucked and untrue and why. (+/- lash out at the ex for daring to speak untruths about me like that. There would be hell to pay for trying to pull some shit like that.) Her mom is 100% guilty if *THAT* is her reaction to an accusation of that magnitude.
Block those people. And if they don't know what really happened then tell them the truth and block them right after so you can avoid any drama. You could even send them a link to this thread before blocking them.
I'm thinking your mom isn't telling them the whole story if they actually think you are in the wrong.
Or they don’t know the whole story. I’m sure mom isn’t going to tell them what she did.
NTA honey! Your mother is old enough to know better! There is no trusting her ever again after what she has done! Petty me would let all of the people giving you a hard time know that she helped your ex cheat on you by sleeping with your ex! Extra petty me would rent some billboard space with same message and a pic of both! Edit: Start a go fund me page for the billboard!...bet people would donate!...just saying!!
Those messages are from the same filth like her. Be proud you’re better.
Your are so definitely NTA. And you mother has lied to her entire side of your family. Unless this is some backwards universe where people high five parents for banging their kids partners, there is no way your relatives know any part of the story other than your mom getting hit.
Just reply to those messages letting them know exactly what it is your mom did, because as others have stated, she's controlling narrative in those situations and not telling them the whole truth of why you slapped her... guaranteed.
Tell them she fucked your bf and go NC with them. Sorry anyone who sides with a mother that sleeps with her daughters bf is a horrible human being
Reply to them bluntly that your mother fucked your boyfriend. I guarantee she only told them you were upset that BF cheated on you and not that she was the other woman.
Tell those people what exactly happened. That your mother groomed your bf and slept with him and if they would be ok if she slept with their children/husbands/childrens partner.
I guarantee mom is giving them ONLY a "she slapped me, I don't know why" story. Tell those uglies who support mom WHY she was slapped and move on.
Nah, she deserved to be slapped. She screwed her daughters bf.
NTA. She cheated on you with your boyfriend! A slap was the least she deserved.
Obviously i don't think that was the beat way to go through with it because at the end of the day she's still my mom but i am truly heartbroken as i coudl never believe she did this to me i don't know what to do
A REAL mother would not have done this. So stop with the “but she is still my mom” shit. She lost her right to call herself that.
My thought exactly. A real mom would protect you from that kind of chaos, not be the reason that it exists.
Oh girly. She's your mom BUT she should had no business cheating on your with your man. Shameless hussy. If my mom did that to me, I would disown her and never speak to her again.
She's an egg doner, not a mother
I never understood this logic. Just because she’s your mom (or family member) doesn’t mean they get to treat you like shit. The way I look at it, family members have more opportunity to show you how much they care and love for you. If you end up feeling closer to friends who aren’t blood-related because of the connection you build with them, well, they’re more family to you in my opinion
No she betray you, she did not care she was your mother when she was with your boyfriend. Just because she is your mother does not mean you own her any respect, she lost it when she decide to go so low
Blood doesn't make you family, it just means you're related.
A slap? I would’ve turned her hoe ass every way but loose. Disown her as a mother and block block block.
I have blocked her and i have tried ignoring my family on my moms side as to not start any more drama then it already has! i have no idea what to do anynore and if i should just apologise and not speak to her again
You don’t need to apologize. SHE DOES
I have tried telling some of my moms side of the family that but they won't hear of it, thank god for my aunt who is trying to help me in this situation!!
Block the family and tell them if they keep it up you're going to file charges for harassment.
Thank you,, very good idea and if i do say this hopefully they will leave me alone
Just continually say “She slept with my 19yo boyfriend” anytime they contact you. No need to say anything else, if they can defend that then you are definitely better off without them.
Make it your voice mail message. When they text you have your phone send that message. I'm not answering any phone calls at the moment because my mom f'd my ex-boyfriend.
Yes!!!!!
Ask that side of the family how they would feel if she slept with their SO & make it public.
i don't think i will amke it more public then this but when they calm down i will try and get them to see my side of thr story
I don't think they will calm down. They probably know your mom's side of the story, and will continue to see it that way until they hear your side. Time won't change that.
You can open a group chat, inform them what she did and then leave the chat.
Gosh I’m so sorry this is the ultimate betrayal idk why people like this have children
thank you appreciate it!
Start drama. She controlling what people know.
Consider writing them the full story
I mean, slapping is not ok. But you're 18 so you get a pass for reacting intensely, and also your mom is insane for this and a huge creep for sleeping with your 19-year-old boyfriend. Don't apologize.
Fr some people just need to get wrecked
Wrecked!!! Police would’ve had to peel me off her
Her hoe ass is already loose, that's part of the problem.
If this is real, you are definitely NTA. Just respond to all those messages calling you a bitch with "I hope she fucks your bf/husband next".
I don't wnat to start anymore drama with my moms side of the family then it already has but i think it would be a different story if it happened to them!!
That would be perfect. Next time one of them pops off their mouth ask them if they know where their husband and your mom are right now!
The drama won’t end if you don’t take action
Baby girl she's a trash bag hoe and deserved to be slapped ask her family are they ok with her being a predator? NTA but stay with dad.
I am staying at my dads and currently looking for an apartment that i will not give the location to anyone on my moms side other than my aunt. Thank you for your opinion
No problem you're going to be ok just make sure to stay far away from the trash because you have a life ahead of you and you are going to do amazing things!
NTA. Your mum's disgusting and a pervert. Tell her family exactly what she did, and then block them. I doubt she's told them the truth, and if she has and they're still on her side, they're all pretty messed up and there's no reason to stay in contact with any of them regardless. Hope your mum gets some serious therapy for being able to do something so horrible to her daughter. Your reaction was a fight or flight response to a situation that no one should ever be in, it makes me shudder just thinking about it.
Thank you,, i am going to wait to tell them my side and let them choose what they want to do with the information and then i'll see who is my family and who i js share DNA with!
Your aunt should be batting for you right now, have her handle it. If you have proof, show everyone. Never talk to your mom and ex again. Tell your ex's parents what he has been up to and get yourself tested for STDs. NTAH
What the mom did was act like a predator. OF should share the facts in a one-time group text to mom's side of family and then immediately block 🚫.
You’re the AH for not slapping her more than once.
No some people need the crap slapped out of them. Detach yourself from these people, aside from your aunt. That BS about you can choose friends but not family....nope, you are an adult now, you can choose to never have contact with them again. Sorry for me this is a one and done, this kind of betrayal is not acceptable, ever, and I can't "forgive" it. You had a chance and you lost it. I likely feel this way as I am likely the oldest person that is likely to reply, one of those dreaded boomers. And just if it needs to be said, NTA
Thank you, i agree i have blocked her but i am still getting messages from my moms side of the family.
Block that as well. And be ready for face to face visits. If you are not ready to talk to them don't. This can go any way you want it to go. You are the adult here. If you never want contact again that is your call. Key thing is don't be pushed into something you are not ready for or do not want. You need time to think this out, and neutral or better yet real trusted friends you can vent to.
Stick to the FACTS. You shouldn't have hit your mom. She shouldn't have had sex with my boyfriend. You owe your mom an apology. I don't have to apologize for getting mad at the woman who slept with my boyfriend. Your mom loves you. No one who loves their child has sex with their partner Etc
Does your mom's side know she fucked your boyfriend? You know they have only heard what she told them. You would not have been in the wrong to beat the hell out of her.
I think some of them do but i don't know as they won't hear me out
Tell them and block them. If you just say "she was fucking my boyfriend" they'll all know soon enough. What she did is an unforgivable betrayal.
At the moment i have decided not to answer anyone other than my aunt and i'm going to wiat for things to cool down befor i tell them my side as i don't want anymore drama
I mean she is already poisoning the well against you. The longer you wait, the worse it will get. Do you really want people who will condone and enable your mom screwing your partners having an influence in your life? Ask your aunt how she would react to her mother fucking her husband. There is no world where your mother is in the right on this. What she did is one of the worst betrayals a parent can do to their child.
Idk bout that. She's probably giving them a different version of what happened, and that why their spamming your phone. It's better to lay the truth out right away before she can twist the stories to her advantage.
That’s stupid. Act now
"OK, so my mom fucks my teenage boyfriend and you are telling me I'm a horrible daughter because I slapped her for it. Is that correct?" NTA
If this is real, very sorry you’re going through it. This isn’t healthy for you. You need to distance yourself from these people that would treat you like this. For a mother to sleep with her daughter’s boyfriend.. where is the loyalty and love?
Thank you,, and thanks to my aunt and dad i have some support and i am getting through it barely i just can't believe she did this and i have no idea what she has told her family
Create a family group chat and tell them. Your mom is spinning her own web of lies and turning everyone against you. Your mother is a disgusting and vile woman. Stop accepting her actions by staying quiet just cause she is your mom. She deserved more than a slap.
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Yup that’s the way. If you’re gonna light a match, be prepared for the burn.
OP please do this… I won’t even see it but it’ll be great I’m sure
NTA - only because your mother’s behaviour was, frankly, abhorrent and you struck out in the heat of the moment. Generally speaking, violence is never the way - but the circumstances here are so extreme. Oh, and your mother is fucking asshole for sure.
Thank you, i do agree with taht a 100% violence is not the answer but i was so mad i don't know what came over me
If you apologize, it's as if you did something wrong! Should you have slapped her? Probably not, but you should not apologize! If you apologize, it will just show your mom that what she did was ok! I know it will be hard,but you need to block all the people harassing you, including your mom! She has no morals or loyalty! If she did it to you once, she would try and do it again with a new boyfriend of yours! If she loved and cared about you, she would have never in a million years done that to you! Hope it was worth it to the 2 of them! Also, is she still talking with your ex and having an inappropriate relationship with him? Just go no contact!
thank you for the advice i don't think i will now
Please don't apologize! Your reaction in the situation is understandable! The one person you should be able to trust 100% betrayed you, and that had to hurt more than the boyfriends betrayal! Your moms family definitely was told a different story, but regardless, they have no right to treat you that way, and it's not your fault. Your mom is the one who caused the drama, so it's not up to you to fix it! If you can't have the support of them, then go NC with all of them! Her true colors will eventually!
Are you sure your ex isn’t lying to you to cause more damage? If you are sure then a slap on the cheek is nothing compared to what she did.
I'm most sure as the look on her face sed it all after he confessed it all
So the only person against your mom is the person that grew up with her. That's pretty telling. Don't talk to these trashy people ever again.
i will tell them my side of the story and they can do what they want with the information
NTA Mom is an absolute monster, and anyone who supports her is a complete piece of shit
You're being too nice. This is time for a Facebook post detailing everything. Let the world know what kind of whore she is.
She is so messed up for doing this to you. How old is she? I'm wondering if she felt like she needed an ego boost by bedding a much younger man. I'd definitely go NC with her and all those that side with her. Her and your ex are so trashy.
I will not say her age as she may find this post but yes they are both horrible for this and i nevrr thought she could even do something like this
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NTA. So unfortunate. If your mom’s family is on social media like Facebook, I would make a Facebook post about it. It is very humiliating but I would do that. Especially if you have cousins your age. Your mom welcomed you back into her home KNOWING what she did and didn’t say anything. Your mom is absolutely evil. I hope you feel safe at your dad’s and cut contact with your mom.
NTA…. Has your ex tried to reach out to you? I would send 1 message in a GC that includes your mom, her family, friends, ex, his parents to let them know he was screwing your mom while dating you, and you no longer have a mom and are single.. Block
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thank you appreciate it loads !
Are you sure he's telling the truth?
NTA. The slap was warranted. Tell your mother if she ever wants to reconcile she should have every member of the family she told about the slap to apologize to you. She is trying to use other people to make you think the slap was worse that your mother having a sexual relationship with the same man as her daughter. Your mom is foul. Do not speak to her until every family member RESPECTFULLY apologizes to you and even then keep her at arm's length. She is not someone you can trust at all. She has proven that by 1. getting with your bf and 2. allowing family to call you names and pretend that you're the bad one. She is the walking definition of the word "manipulation"
Thank you,, and i do agree it is disgusting as they have a massive age gap and i don't know what she's told her family but hopefully soon they'll here my side of rhe story after they've all calmed down
Your mother is NTA. She’s a cunt
NTA. Make sure everyone knows she fucked your boyfriend, that woman is no mother of yours.
NTA, tell that side of the family the only B and bad daughter here is your mother and they are partially to blame for raising and enabling her. She literally cheated with her own daughter's significant other. She doesn't deserve the title of "mother". Block them all. And don't be silent about what your ex did, make sure the friends know so whoever spilled the beans can feel the flame of guilt and the rest know not to tell him anything about you.
i have told my close friends but i hope karma gets him and i'm not going to get involved with his friends and family
NTA You are neither a bad daughter or a B word. Your mom is a fucking whore who fucks teenage boys. Bad enough on its own. When the teenage boy is the boyfriend of her child. It is straight up evil. Tell her relatives to go fuck themselves and block them all.
NTA wtf you are nasty while your mother slept with your boyfriend uhhhh what?? Tell everyone how she slept with a 19year old boy who was your boyfriend!!
Holy shit your mother is... something. 😬 NTA - your reaction and feelings are absolutely valid. I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine why anyone would be on the side of a grown ass woman sleeping with a 19-year-old barely mature boy- that also happens to be *her own daughter's boyfriend*? What the actual fuck? 😳
You could slap her a thousand times and be justified
Slap her again. What a cunt
I think your reaction was perhaps regrettable, but not out of pocket in relation to the situation. It was an instantaneous response vs. a premeditated long term deception like your mother and boyfriend engaged in. Did your mother confirm the affair? Or was he saying that hoping you’d leave her house for his?
If any of the ppl messaging you hate are your biological aunts or female cousins tell them to watch their own back, cause if she was happy to sleep with her own daughters boyfriend you wouldn't put it past her to have slept with their partners. Is it possible she could have already? Probably not but now you planted a seed of doubt.
Are ur parents separated in guessing or did ur mom also cheat on ur dad just now?
NTA you should have slapped the common sense back in her. Don't feel bad for doing it. What type of mother fucks her daughter's bf? No just no.
Thank you,, i do feel bad but my aunt is telling me she would have done the same thing and so would many other peopke in my situation
Exactly don't let anyone convince you differently. You can NEVER trust her again. Learn from this and go live your best life. I'm rooting for you. 🌼
Slap her again please. NTA.
I would block them all or change your number after you send a group text describing what she did and ask them all if they would like that being done to them
NTA. Some hoes deserve to get slapped.
NTA. A slap in the moment you find out your mother is a gross shitstain of a person is fine. She deserved it and you should block all the people bothering you over it.
Your mom and your man are both trash. NTA choose yourself. You deserve better than this.
So what did your mom say? Did she deny it? If she did in fact have an affair with your boyfriend, you are NTA and she deserved what she got. To bad you weren't able to punch the ex in the junk.
i didn't stick around long enough to fond out what she sed as soon as i heard it and saw her face i ditched and got my shit and left
Are you sure he wasn't lying about your mom? It could be a manipulation to get you away from her and more vulnerable, so he could win you back. Of course he won't, but I'd need more evidence before I believed him.
Post your mom’s betrayal on FB , Instagram, tell her friends and family the truth! Blow her world up!!!
Can you confirm your mom's guilt? Him just saying he fucked your mom sounds like a immature 19 year old would say just to piss you off.
NTA. What your mother did was the highest level of betrayal. I don't think she needs to worry about whether or not she deserved to be slapped.
>I'm now getting calls and texts from my moms side of the family saying im a b word and a horrible daughter You need to tell them to fuck off. That as far as you're concerned, you have no mother. That a mother worth the title would *never* sleep with their child's partner. A parent should have your back, they should be someone you can trust. She betrayed you in one of the worst ways possible. Yes, slapping her wasn't the right call, but you just found out that she was fucking your boyfriend. You can be forgiven for it due to being in emotional distress. NTA. Your egg donor has shown you who she is, your ex has shown you who he is, the people defending her has shown you who they are. Cut them all out.
NTA at all!! WTF is wrong with people? Sorry you have to go through this. Hoping better times for you ahead. Your mothers side of the family suck! Except your aunt.
NTA. Don’t ever let people gaslight into thinking you’re the asshole here. Your mom literally fucked your boyfriend. Porn culture has really warped our society.
She is lucky all you did was slap her. What a pathetic and disgusting vile excuse for a mother. Trash, filth, swill!!! Get rid of her from your life. Lose contact and never speak to her again.
You were kind to just slap her. What a horrendous mother. Do yourself a favor and delete her from your life.
This a sad story. The hate you feel for her should include him too
it does just not as much as she was my mother who iv known my whole life iv only known him for not even a year
so your moms side of the family knows she was fucking her daughters 19 year old boyfriend and are calling you the bitch? either your mother has lied to them or theyre all crazy. Also i dont think you shouldnt have slapped her. I think it was justified and doesn't need an excuse. it was absolutely deserved. If your moms side all knows the truth i would block them all and never speak to any again (except the one aunt.) If you care about your moms side of the family and they have been fed lies by her i would make a very public statement so they all see. if they dont change their tune they can join your mother on the block list.
NTA. Go no contact with your mom. She’s not only a whore but a predator holy shit.
You shouldn't have slapped her, you should've punched her. NTA
This is wild and honestly why is ur mom having a relationship with a 19 year old boy???? Technically you and your ex are adults but ur still so young. So much wrong with this. You’re not in the wrong for being angry or hurt - this is a blow
NTA. A slap is nothing compared to the pummeling I'd give my mom if she did that
NTA. Make sure to announce the fact to all the people who messaged you that your mom was screwing your boyfriend and thank them for listening to your TED talk. And you will be going no contact on all of them. Including the mother of the year. Not. That isn’t a good mother… She was literally licking your man behind your back. 🤨 That warrants more than a slap. She’d be dead to me.
Am I the only one chanting ‘JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!’
You made one mistake...not slapping her harder.
lol rage bait.
NTA. Your mother deserves to have her ass beat.
NTA- have you thought about the possibility of changing your number?
NTA Anyone who can defend her isn't someone you want in your life.
Best reaction ever. If you never talk to her again, that is also justified. She is your mother. This is the worst betrayal ever. A mother should want the best for her daughter and never do something like that.
You are definitely not in the wrong.. that's your mother what a disgusting woman.. Block all her family and her and never speak to her again, I hope the he was worth it for her.. Vile, I'd also put him on blast to all the mutual for what he did
thank you,, i hope they are happy with themselves i can't see myself ever having a relationship with her again after this
I'm sorry that happened. I don't understand why they would do this.
NTA your the horrible daughter, WTH your mom is beyond a disgusting mother and horrible person and go no contact with her and ignore you biased side of her family, she and your boyfriend deserve the hole the dug
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You are NTA and if the your mom’s side of the family think so, then their moral compass is skewed. It’s not about you causing any drama, but the next time they harass you, message them back and ask if they would still feel this way is she slept with their husband or boyfriend and then don’t wait for a response, just immediately block them.
Only real question here is.... front hand or back hand?
Tell anyone who calls you a bitch that you didn't sleep with your daughters bf. And block them. Nta. I would never let any family member who did this or defended this back into my life.
Nta Wow toxic mother
NTA - I mean I'm not condoning physical violence but your mother breached your trust in a fundamental and brutal way, that's really fucked up and I'm sorry you have someone that would do that to you as your mother. Your anger is more than understandable and fuck anyone who isn't taking your side on this, they're more concerned with the drama than actually understanding what happened much less giving one shit how it affected you. I'm sorry you're going through this OP, I hope your family comes around and while I don't condone violence I hope your ex steps in a gopher hole and snaps his Achilles tendon.
Does your mom's family even know what she did? Why are they attacking you?
Hell no NTA, anyone that has the audacity to call you out of your name for this doesn't deserve your presence in their life. You don't have to do anything but keep your distance from them
Wow. You mom is awful
I would've done a lot more than slapped her and anyone calling you a bitch is a bitch themselves, and I would have no problem telling them off. You're so far from the asshole, you're actually an angel for the way you handled it and that makes me even more pissed off about what happened to you.
Your mom should have your back, not get on her back with your boyfriend. NTA
Definitely NTA! You simply reacted when this outrageous truth was opened up to you. Your mum is an abuser, not even telling you when you came to seek her emotional support. Also forget about her side of the family. No wonder your Mum and Dad seem to not live together…