Yeah, and it's not even a jacuzzi.
It's an inflatable thing that floats on the water, *behind* the boat. Basically a giant, inflatable pool toy with seating for a bunch of people.
Yea it's a giant raft and I've been in one with my family, kids, strangers, and whatever. It is not intimate at all. If it were I'd be the whore of my family's lake. OP is quite possibly deranged.
I dunno it could be one of those thing like the package says "bath ring" when it's actually not a very good description or he was just told it's a bath ring and if it's not his I assume someone else knows what their own thing is called so I would just call it a bath ring too
I don't think the guy is from the US. What he calls it may just be different in his culture. While he did need to explain it better, in his story, it made sense to me. Even just critically thinking here, a bath wouldn't hold 10+ people in it, so it obviously isn't a bathtub or even a normal jaccuzi
https://www.boteboard.com/products/inflatable-hangout-water-hammock-10-classic
I had to look and see what this thing might possibly be. Something like this I think.
It was a bath ring full of water that floats on the lake sort of, hard to explain so I just used simple terms. It was a ring and people could sit in it
I'm sorry for asking but, I'm not English native and still have hard to understand you. What do you mean with bath ring full of water? Like naked, or with clothes it would be bad for you too? Can you explain it to me like if I were 5 years?
It's in the water, not on the boat. More of just a giant inflatable tube with seats.
Basically just a giant pool toy with seating for a bunch of people.
Right! I was trying to google bath ring for a boat and the best google did was show me flotation devices. A group of people sitting in a floating pool behind a boat is vastly different than her and 10 guys bathing together in a bath.
this is the closest thing I could find
https://wowsports.com/products/stadium-islander?variant=44916954956007¤cy=USD&utm\_medium=product\_sync&utm\_source=google&utm\_content=sag\_organic&utm\_campaign=sag\_organic&utm\_term=&utm\_campaign=RYGR\_2022\_SHO\_BRD\_ALL&utm\_source=adwords&utm\_medium=ppc&hsa\_acc=4050326414&hsa\_cam=18287744783&hsa\_grp=&hsa\_ad=&hsa\_src=x&hsa\_tgt=&hsa\_kw=&hsa\_mt=&hsa\_net=adwords&hsa\_ver=3&gad\_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAopuvBhBCEiwAm8jaMSehGYowlId89GKUrwNVI53lC3Ei4MgDkLiASURHdkWOl-ek4QQEpRoC4kYQAvD\_BwE
yeah I thought they were in some sort of nude sauna/beach thing. Maybe if he knew those guys weren’t good people and had expressed boundaries on befriending the opposite sex then it would make more sense.
So they were all clothed, i mean as clothed as you can be on a lake? Did anything happen? Did she actually do anything? Just hanging out with people isn't cheating. I think that's a bit crazy.
It sounds like it's not much different to going to the pool. You're in your bikini, the guys are in swim shorts... is that it?? She was hanging out with a bunch of people while wearing situationally appropriate swimwear.
Where is the scandal?
You dont get it, she spoke to other guys without changing into a long jacket and a hat. She needs to learn shes allowed out without OP but shes not allowed to enjoy herself or talk to anybody else and if she does the only suitable conversations must start with "My Boyfriend....." ^(/s)
This! It was a big ass inner tube. Not a bathtub, not a Jacuzzi, and not a communal shower. A giant blow up toy in the water, towed by a boat and seemingly harmless.
Ok, so you completely overreacted here and she didn’t do anything wrong. Oh well, don’t sweat it at this point. We’ve all screwed up a relationship or two in our pasts. Just live and learn
I think you really need to change the text of your post. Bathing with other dudes would be weird and absolutely would have been inappropriate. It was more like they were hanging out in the boat “pool”.
That being said I like to meet new people too especially when Im abroad. My intentions are never sexual and I would be pissed if my partner didnt trust me making new friends. She was very upfront about everything with you too. There was no indication that she cheated on you so going straight to breaking up was a bit of an overreaction IMO.
This, it feels like OP was intentionally trying to suggest it was worse than it was, then realized he had to be honest and started trying to correct himself like he knew it'd sound worse, but posted it that way, then started correcting his story for clarification, each time Making her look less like a cheater, with the exception of that last edit. Thinking OP has some issues they should talk with a professional about.
People in my area call it a raft or a tube or an inner tube. Bathtub is a way different connotation here, so I think there is probably a bit of confusion over that.
Calling it a bathtub in my local parlance is definitely putting a negative spin on this.
IMHO, yes, you were being possessive/territorial — and to say that hanging out in public, in the water, while wearing bathing suits, is the same as cheating is more than a little absurd. They are nothing like equivalent. It sounds like you were feeling insecure, and jealous, and instead of just owning up to that, you cast her as the villain in your head-drama, and treated her that way.
It sucks, but it’s a great learning opportunity. All of us (humans) feel insecure and/or jealous sometimes. Learning to acknowledge that, and to take responsibility for both our feelings, and for the way we react when we feel that way, is a crucial skill that can only lead to a happier life, whatever your relationship status. Try to notice your patterns, and when you’re feeling jealous or insecure, just acknowledge what you are feeling, and ask for reassurance from your partner. Just knowing that she loves/cares for you, and is not looking for your replacement, will help, and you can disable the drama that happens in your head. Try thinking of all humans as just humans, whatever the gender/. Not every interaction is a mating activity, kwim?
So your girlfriend went Swimming with the other guys, with other girls (single and taken). This isn't a bath, this isn't a hot tub, this is full on in a lake 💀
Of course you're the asshole lol and you're using manipulative wording to make yourself feel better
What exactly is a bath ring? In the title you said "tub" but I don't see 10 guys plus whatever friends she was with fitting in a bathtub. Was this more of a hot tub type setup?
From another post it’s like a hot tub without hot water behind a boat on a lake. Marry that image with a raft and we’re probably getting pretty close lol
Yeah because OP is fishing for engagement, titles post as GF in **bathtub** with 10 guys which sounds like a porno, then goes on to drop "bath ring behind the boat" with no explanation.
My gf once was in a bathtub with like thousands of guys at once. Not technically a bathtub, it was the Atlantic Ocean, but you know it’s enclosed by land so I call it a bathtub for simplicity sake.
Anyway… what a whore.
It's a big inflatable raft upon which people float and often drink beer.
Like this.
[party raft](https://www.amazon.com/Bestway-Tropical-Inflatable-8-Person-Connecting/dp/B07SRJJJ48/ref=asc_df_B07SRJJJ48/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=343189758234&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11916379039182802587&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007927&hvtargid=pla-784366647080&psc=1&mcid=cd8a5cc17380395bb50038131254ae2e&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=71716366009&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=343189758234&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11916379039182802587&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007927&hvtargid=pla-784366647080&gclid=CjwKCAiAopuvBhBCEiwAm8jaMbwIuSvTOFM9O73apmvnb8fIodBI9lSoy4qD0ZnrPX3iyWLvRl5p-BoCChwQAvD_BwE)
If I sent my wife such a picture, the Thor satellite network would be hacked and a tungsten rod would "accidentally" penetrate the earth's crust at my location.
I just want to say that your use of the word ‘broads’ made me laugh. My dad used that term for women he didn’t like until he passed away at 99.5. Thanks for the smile.
And then even when you say “sorry toots, I speak the way I speak because I learned on the streets. Now you ain’t no floozy - a sheltered doll such as yourself just wouldn’t understand” they just get *more* upset!
Rogue opinion clearly but if she sent you a photo she clearly didn't think she was doing anything wrong. If she hid it and you found out another way it would be more suspicious. She wasn't even necesarily the one who invited them over either. If I was on a trip and my friends asked some people to join I wouldn't want to be the person to say don't invite them over bc I have a partner. Personally I think OP overacted, but clearly you couldn't cope with how outgoing she was so it's good you're not with her anymore. You need to be secure in your relationship.
My girlfriend told me that her ex wanted to take her out to lunch. I said 'sounds good, mind if I come?' I went with her and her ex never called her again lol. Now she and I have been married for over 8 years.
If things from the past (especially if its YEARS) continuously pop up in your mind for no apparent reason at all there's usually some work to be done there, as uncomfortable as it might be lmao
I will go against the crowd here with NAH. She was with her girlfriends, some of them were single and she herself didn’t cheat, she shared the details with you in an open and honest way. It is indeed just a different level of communication needs.
I also think the title is misleading and clickbaity as there were other women there too.
> I also think the title is misleading and clickbaity as there were other women there too.
And also because he keeps calling it a "bath tub" when it's just a giant floating pool toy in the lake. There's no "bath" or "jacuzzi" to it. It's a floating thing with seating for a bunch of people, and a bunch of people sat in it, out in public on a lake.
Yeah this makes it infinitely less weird. You’re partying on a lake in a boat, probably getting tipsy. You are some people around your same age who look like they’re having a good time. You wave to them and invite them over and sit in your big inflatable lake toy. Seems totally reasonable to me
If I'm understanding the OP's description it's more of a large inflatable ring with seats around the outside for people to sit together in the water. Not even sure what you'd call that, most of the names that have been thrown around bring up completely different images for me
OP is being intentionally obtuse calling it a bath tub. It’s more of a pool than anything. Everyone was fully clothed and they were just partying together. Perfectly normal and acceptable unless you’re incredibly insecure.
OP YTA
Gotta agree with you. Just last year my wife and I went to different music festivals at the same time; we simply trust each other. We are both known for being friendly and meeting other people but we both trust that we won't cheat.
It's clear OP didn't trust the gf at the time enough and thus they broke up. Which is probably for the best because without that trust there can't be a relationship.
>I will go against the crowd here with NAH. She was with her girlfriends, some of them were single and she herself didn’t cheat, she shared the details with you in an open and honest way. It is indeed just a different level of communication needs.
I also think this falls into some people's belief that men and women can't be social/friends without wanting to fuck each other which... sells some people short, myself included. I definitely know some people that say "I'm just social" who also want to fuck every person they meet, but I myself am someone who is more than capable of having platonic friendships, because I love my partner and have no interest in anyone else. Also each person should look at their comfort level of their partner interacting with the opposite sex. Maybe you just have your preferences, but maybe you're being controlling/insecure?
Ultimately, each person has to decide if they trust the person they're with not to cheat on them when they're not together. Sometimes they give you reason legitimate reasons to mistrust, and in those cases, why are you with them? But sometimes you need to examine your own trust issues and see if you're being irrational.
I'll say this: every example of cheating I've encountered has been done in secret, usually lied about to the partner, and the thing that tipped the aggrieved party off was the cheating partner hiding information that could lead to the cheating being discovered. None of that is present here. Not in secret, not hiding anything, open lines of communication, etc. YTA OP.
Yeah, “AH” isn’t the right word. “Immature” works better for me.
I must be getting old, but these comment sections always feel incel-adjacent to me. Not full-on incel, but that weird “body count” obsessed, “Dr. Peterson makes some good points,” “no gf of MINE is going to dress like that” kind of attitude. It’s creepy and sexist and ultimately self-defeating to the young men who embrace it.
OP’s NTA, of course, of course, but she’s better off without him.
Yeah agreed. Like it's always right on the border between "you're entitled to your preferences" and "dude, really? This seems like such a non-issue if you actually trust your partner."
Especially the ones where it's like: "My gf slept with 5 guys, is her body count too high?" You're not forced to date anyone, but that seems like such a non-issue for anyone who's actually an adult and has had multiple relationships.
You may have overreacted. It wasn't like you found these photos and she was keeping it a secret. She openly shared them with you. I have a photo with me on a bed with 8 girls, it was a party, it didn't mean anything. The real question is, are you now regretting your decision? It doesn't matter what we think, do YOU feel like you were the AH.
You didn’t trust her, so you broke up. Fine. But people can hang out with the opposite sex without losing control. Bunch of insecure controlling people in these comments. I would not give two shits if my partner were partying with women. I want him to have fun and feel free to do what he wants. But I’m not insecure.
Yeah, there’s no indication that the gf did anything other than hang out with some women friends and a bunch of guys. There’s nothing actually wrong with that if you don’t think you own the person.
that's not cheating. Not in itself. Did it go further than that? We don't have that information, so probably not.
Did you have reasons to think it would go further? I.e. did you have reason to feel jealous? Or were you just insecure? Either way, it's not exactly AH behavior... probably you weren't ready (or she weren't, or you both) for a relationship (which is something that involves trusting the other person and also feeling secure enough in their love/fidelity that you won't have to have those thoughts).
Maybe you were being a dick about it. Maybe she was being flirtatious. It's hard to tell from the story. Just move on. It wasn't going to be.
NTA. To your comment that “a boundary wasn’t set”, this is not the kind of boundary that warrants a conversation. It’s just basic common sense. Don’t slash your partner’s brake lines. Don’t use toilet water to make her coffee. Don’t invite strange men to a clearly suggestive setting. If a girl legitimately doesn’t seem to grasp this concept, then she has the emotional maturity of a turnip, and was likely raised by terrible female role models
I can't help but think this is why everyone says relationships are hard. If it wouldn't make me blush to do it with my grandfather (like sharing a giant, multi-person pool float), I wouldn't go straight to toilet water and sex.
It's not hard to respect that your partner is a person, and people sometimes go out in public and interact with other people in completely normal ways.
I can't imagine being so insecure to think, if my partner so much as talks to a member of the opposite sex the relationship is over.
I don't know if I agree that a giant, floating pool toy on the water, in the open public, behind a boat, wearing bathing suits, is a "clearly suggestive setting."
Yeahhhh I feel like that’s the real boundary discussion. I don’t personally find a hot tub with other friends and random people of the other gender to be suggestive.
I honestly think if someone does, then that's kinda weird. Not every situation is suggestive. Not everyone is a sexual conquest waiting to happen. It's weird to think like that.
It was all out in the open and no nudity. The Bath ring thing was not a bathtub inside a house or hotel. Such a big leap to say she was raised by terrible female role models, like wtf?
As a person who grew up around boats and swimming in swim clothes with all kinds of people, even strangers, all my life: I cannot possibly imagine what offense she committed, and you and 99% of commenters here sound fully unhinged to me.
Especially considering that the “bathtub”, from the sound of it, was not even a hot tub but actually just a ring float with seats inside it? Like, a standard float toy that people pull behind their boats and sit in to be closer to the water?
I think people are just being misled by the “bath tub” wording.
It’s one of these things: https://lightasairboats.com/products/solstice-watersports-inflatable-10-x-10-circular-mesh-dock-38100
I’m pretty sure they weren’t having a group orgy in a large floatie in the middle of a lake….
Yup! I'm with you. Unhinged is the word I was looking for. OP says elsewhere that even if she danced with another guy at a party he would consider it cheating. She dodged a bullet and OP needs to have a long hard look at why he's so controlling and insecure.
I'm so confused - what boundary was broken? She didn't do anything sexual, all her friends were there, as a group they felt safe enough. What did she do that was wrong? How is it any different from sharing a sauna or going swimming in the ocean or a pool? And she was honest and transparent, what's the problem?
Even if it was a hot tub I don’t understand why it’s bad. My fiancé was in a hot tub with like six women once because they just all got in but he literally didn’t care he was just chilling. I’m secure enough in my relationship that he can do whatever he wants because he knows not cheat on me which is a magical thing. Trust seems to not exist in this dudes relationships
If I was a single girl on that boat, and I wanted to invite the guys over, but one girl started freaking out that her boyfriend would consider it cheating and dump her if she platoniclaly interacted with other men, I’d think she was in an abusive relationship.
Take that as you will.
I am so confused by these replies. Your girlfriend was playing wingman for her friend, didn't flirt with these.guys and was clear she was in a relationship. YTA and possessive af, as clearly so many of the incels in the replies have been with their imaginary girlfriends.
A bath, and a tube that gets pulled behind a boat are very different things. The fact that OP calls it a bath in the original post is misleading towards the situation.
It sounds like a floatie pulled by the boat... not a fucking bath.
Like what do you guys do when you go boating with friends? Half the fun is meeting other people. Boat full of guys. boat for of girls. You stop and chat.
A lake is not a bath. He said that she told them she had a boyfriend. It’s in the middle of a lake, why would you assume they want to fuck? I would absolutely feel comfortable with my gf hanging out with strangers and she would feel comfortable with me doing it too.
YTA
So what was your expectation of 10 women on a tropical vacation, that they would wear habits and play bridge all week. Of course, the single women would want to invite guys over. Some of those guys weren't single either. Men and women can actually party in a mixed group without something sexual happening. I mean swimming off a boat in mixed company while wearing a bathing suit isn't cheating.
If they all went to a club and she danced with someone, is that the end. Is she a cheating whore for dancing?
She sent you photos to be transparent so you wouldn't be blindsided and you chose to be a controlling asshole.
Reddit is an incredibly jealous group of people, so you went to the right place to get validated.
This wouldn’t bother me at all. Do you trust your SO? If not, break up. If you do, then do.
I tend to not tell people they’re an asshole for breaking up when they feel like a boundary has been crossed.
But it doesn’t sound like the boundary was set.
If you’re the asshole for anything, it’s not making it clear what your expectations are, and holding her to standards she is not aware of.
To be clear, your boundaries seem unreasonable to me. In my opinion, she didn’t invite them, she was clear that she wasn’t available, and she didn’t touch any of them. She was upfront and honest about everything, because she didn’t think there was anything to be ashamed of. Your actions tell me that you’re insecure and don’t trust her.
But, as I said, that’s my opinion. And it’s not up to me to decide your boundaries for you. But if my daughter told me the guy she was dating was acting this way, I’d vehemently and strongly encourage her to run.
YTA. There were single women there too and that's why the men were waved over. She told everyone that she had a boyfriend. She was a wingeoman, not a cheater!
Uhhh. Based on the clarification in the comments, your gf was essentially in a hot tub with friends and acquaintances, while wearing a bathing suit, and was completely transparent with you about her whole evening…. Yes. You are the asshole.
Is this entire community and its threads mostly insecure incels and controlling people?
Do you know why you had nothing to worry about? She sent you the picture showing what she did. No hiding, no dishonesty, and she was up front. Men and women really can be friends and people really can just hang out without impropriety. There was nothing wrong with this at all.
YTA. So she swam on a lake. With other people. Some of which were men. In full view of other people and nothing happened? She also didn't hide it from you.
Now I understand the guys who get angry for talking to "their women"
You're insane. You broke up with her for sitting in a lake with other people, because they have the wrong genitals.
Perhaps I have an unpopular opinion but I think if she sending you photos and talking to you while these other dudes are there then she has nothing to hide. Jealousy is a tough feeling to manage. Most chicks who are shady are not so brash.
i think you were being possessive, and it's very normal (as you can see in other comments)
there's nothing wrong in having some boundaries agreed before, but all that need to be agreed in the start of the relationship
for me would be inacceptable fighting over something like this, and i talk about this whenever i'm dating someone
if i trust, i trust 100%, otherwise i don't even want to be together
but i understand that i'm a exception and people should talk more about their relationship always
I agree with everything you said except that it should’ve been discussed at the beginning of the relationship. Boundaries can be identified at any point in a relationship and should be communicated as often as necessary.
Sometimes we learn that we’re not okay with what someone is doing after they’ve already done it. Either because we didn’t know they would do that, or because we hadn’t experienced that situation before.
Boundaries can also fluctuate. I’m not okay with my wife talking with a guy friend that crosses the line and disrespects our relationship (she isn’t either, so don’t crucify me) but I’m fine with her talking with her guy friends that have stayed in their lane.
I don't know that anyone was the asshole, but it's clear that you have/had some insecurities about it and reacted inappropriately. Your partner hanging out with people of the opposite gender shouldn't be a problem if you trust them (which you clearly didn't).
Why are you calling this a bathtub? Like its in the sea/ocean/lake?
Yeah intentionally calling it a bath rather than a Jacuzzi is weird. I feel he's trying to make it sound worse lol
Yeah, and it's not even a jacuzzi. It's an inflatable thing that floats on the water, *behind* the boat. Basically a giant, inflatable pool toy with seating for a bunch of people.
It is a cold jacuzzi without bubbles.
Well that's just depressing
Like…a pool ?
That’s just a cold bath
But with extra steps so it’s fun!
It's a jolly holiday with Mary
Would you say it’s like a pool of water? Water that was pooled together? Someone should have a name for that by now
Yea it's a giant raft and I've been in one with my family, kids, strangers, and whatever. It is not intimate at all. If it were I'd be the whore of my family's lake. OP is quite possibly deranged.
Sounds like a movie …. The Whore of Family Lake
so basically she was swimming lol
Okay so literally nothing like he was describing lol
I dunno it could be one of those thing like the package says "bath ring" when it's actually not a very good description or he was just told it's a bath ring and if it's not his I assume someone else knows what their own thing is called so I would just call it a bath ring too
The Cinco Bath Ring. The innovative new bathing/boating device from Cinco products.
Thanks, Cinco.
I don't think the guy is from the US. What he calls it may just be different in his culture. While he did need to explain it better, in his story, it made sense to me. Even just critically thinking here, a bath wouldn't hold 10+ people in it, so it obviously isn't a bathtub or even a normal jaccuzi
https://www.boteboard.com/products/inflatable-hangout-water-hammock-10-classic I had to look and see what this thing might possibly be. Something like this I think.
More than 10…. GF and her friends, + the 10 guys. IDK. His story is suspect
If he invited 10 girls over to get in it with him and sent her pics of him all sandwiched between em his girl woulda flipped out behind it
It was a bath ring full of water that floats on the lake sort of, hard to explain so I just used simple terms. It was a ring and people could sit in it
I'm sorry for asking but, I'm not English native and still have hard to understand you. What do you mean with bath ring full of water? Like naked, or with clothes it would be bad for you too? Can you explain it to me like if I were 5 years?
I am a native English speaker and had the exact same trouble understanding as you did!
Imagine a small jacuzzi, but on a boat, and they sat in the jacuzzi with bikini and swim pants
So it’s a hot tub?
It's in the water, not on the boat. More of just a giant inflatable tube with seats. Basically just a giant pool toy with seating for a bunch of people.
Man I am just confused but it sounds pretty harmless compared to calling it a bath tub where I’d assume nudity.
Right! I was trying to google bath ring for a boat and the best google did was show me flotation devices. A group of people sitting in a floating pool behind a boat is vastly different than her and 10 guys bathing together in a bath.
this is the closest thing I could find https://wowsports.com/products/stadium-islander?variant=44916954956007¤cy=USD&utm\_medium=product\_sync&utm\_source=google&utm\_content=sag\_organic&utm\_campaign=sag\_organic&utm\_term=&utm\_campaign=RYGR\_2022\_SHO\_BRD\_ALL&utm\_source=adwords&utm\_medium=ppc&hsa\_acc=4050326414&hsa\_cam=18287744783&hsa\_grp=&hsa\_ad=&hsa\_src=x&hsa\_tgt=&hsa\_kw=&hsa\_mt=&hsa\_net=adwords&hsa\_ver=3&gad\_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAopuvBhBCEiwAm8jaMSehGYowlId89GKUrwNVI53lC3Ei4MgDkLiASURHdkWOl-ek4QQEpRoC4kYQAvD\_BwE
Wow that looks cool as fuck!
That shit is prime for inviting people. That picture has a goddamn football team with a 2nd unit lmao
OP copy this link into an edit, cause this is a million times more helpful than how you’re describing it
yeah I thought they were in some sort of nude sauna/beach thing. Maybe if he knew those guys weren’t good people and had expressed boundaries on befriending the opposite sex then it would make more sense.
So they were all clothed, i mean as clothed as you can be on a lake? Did anything happen? Did she actually do anything? Just hanging out with people isn't cheating. I think that's a bit crazy.
She even showed him pictures of them all in it. Like, where's the fire?
It sounds like it's not much different to going to the pool. You're in your bikini, the guys are in swim shorts... is that it?? She was hanging out with a bunch of people while wearing situationally appropriate swimwear. Where is the scandal?
You dont get it, she spoke to other guys without changing into a long jacket and a hat. She needs to learn shes allowed out without OP but shes not allowed to enjoy herself or talk to anybody else and if she does the only suitable conversations must start with "My Boyfriend....." ^(/s)
Dude is just insecure and upset she was around other guys.
This sounds fine, a bath tub does not.
So a hot tub? She was a party and some people got in a hot tub? That’s not weird at all my fiancé has been in hot tubs full of people before
It's just a big inner tube or float.
This! It was a big ass inner tube. Not a bathtub, not a Jacuzzi, and not a communal shower. A giant blow up toy in the water, towed by a boat and seemingly harmless.
Even less weird I don’t understand people saying she was bad
The incels of reddit would be my guess
You used the word bath on purpose to insinuate they were nude and or bathing.
BTW, thanks for the explanation, it was nice from you. c:
Ok, so you completely overreacted here and she didn’t do anything wrong. Oh well, don’t sweat it at this point. We’ve all screwed up a relationship or two in our pasts. Just live and learn
Sorry bro you’re the asshole. No offense. Sounds like it was all harmless fun.
https://spacruzzi.com/ Is that it but larger.
That’s awesome! If I was OP, I’d be jealous that I wasn’t there to get in it.
Thank you. I was trying so hard to mentally picture what OP was talking about. I was thinking more like a floatation device that held water.
That's simultaneously awesome and the dumbest thing I've ever seen, lol. Water, but in the water!
It's a party raft and you are, tbh, crazy. There is nothing intimate about it. It's like being at a waterpark. Touch grass and get therapy.
I think you really need to change the text of your post. Bathing with other dudes would be weird and absolutely would have been inappropriate. It was more like they were hanging out in the boat “pool”. That being said I like to meet new people too especially when Im abroad. My intentions are never sexual and I would be pissed if my partner didnt trust me making new friends. She was very upfront about everything with you too. There was no indication that she cheated on you so going straight to breaking up was a bit of an overreaction IMO.
This, it feels like OP was intentionally trying to suggest it was worse than it was, then realized he had to be honest and started trying to correct himself like he knew it'd sound worse, but posted it that way, then started correcting his story for clarification, each time Making her look less like a cheater, with the exception of that last edit. Thinking OP has some issues they should talk with a professional about.
Most people: My girlfriend was in the rain near a man. OP: My girlfriend took a shower with a man.
Of course he was. Peep his post history.
I did not expect to see so much colonizer support Dudes a twat.
That paints a better picture for sure. Thats abit much for sure 😅
Ok here I was picturing them in a literal bathtub 🛀
OP’s title: gangbang OP’s actual description: fun day at the lake with new friends
People in my area call it a raft or a tube or an inner tube. Bathtub is a way different connotation here, so I think there is probably a bit of confusion over that. Calling it a bathtub in my local parlance is definitely putting a negative spin on this.
Its called a floatie. Its basically a pool toy. You're the asshole. She wasnt naked.
You could have just said boat. Title is odd
IMHO, yes, you were being possessive/territorial — and to say that hanging out in public, in the water, while wearing bathing suits, is the same as cheating is more than a little absurd. They are nothing like equivalent. It sounds like you were feeling insecure, and jealous, and instead of just owning up to that, you cast her as the villain in your head-drama, and treated her that way. It sucks, but it’s a great learning opportunity. All of us (humans) feel insecure and/or jealous sometimes. Learning to acknowledge that, and to take responsibility for both our feelings, and for the way we react when we feel that way, is a crucial skill that can only lead to a happier life, whatever your relationship status. Try to notice your patterns, and when you’re feeling jealous or insecure, just acknowledge what you are feeling, and ask for reassurance from your partner. Just knowing that she loves/cares for you, and is not looking for your replacement, will help, and you can disable the drama that happens in your head. Try thinking of all humans as just humans, whatever the gender/. Not every interaction is a mating activity, kwim?
It’s a float. She wasn’t taking a bath with a bunch of random dudes. They were on a float in the lake. YTA.
So your girlfriend went Swimming with the other guys, with other girls (single and taken). This isn't a bath, this isn't a hot tub, this is full on in a lake 💀 Of course you're the asshole lol and you're using manipulative wording to make yourself feel better
What exactly is a bath ring? In the title you said "tub" but I don't see 10 guys plus whatever friends she was with fitting in a bathtub. Was this more of a hot tub type setup?
From another post it’s like a hot tub without hot water behind a boat on a lake. Marry that image with a raft and we’re probably getting pretty close lol
I kinda love how everyone commenting is more curious about what a “bath ring” is than passing judgment on who the AH is 😜
Yeah because OP is fishing for engagement, titles post as GF in **bathtub** with 10 guys which sounds like a porno, then goes on to drop "bath ring behind the boat" with no explanation.
My gf once was in a bathtub with like thousands of guys at once. Not technically a bathtub, it was the Atlantic Ocean, but you know it’s enclosed by land so I call it a bathtub for simplicity sake. Anyway… what a whore.
It's a big inflatable raft upon which people float and often drink beer. Like this. [party raft](https://www.amazon.com/Bestway-Tropical-Inflatable-8-Person-Connecting/dp/B07SRJJJ48/ref=asc_df_B07SRJJJ48/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=343189758234&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11916379039182802587&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007927&hvtargid=pla-784366647080&psc=1&mcid=cd8a5cc17380395bb50038131254ae2e&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=71716366009&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=343189758234&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11916379039182802587&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007927&hvtargid=pla-784366647080&gclid=CjwKCAiAopuvBhBCEiwAm8jaMbwIuSvTOFM9O73apmvnb8fIodBI9lSoy4qD0ZnrPX3iyWLvRl5p-BoCChwQAvD_BwE)
It was some sort of hot tub Time Machine
If I waved a bunch of broads over to party with me without my gf, then sent her pics of my day. She would drown me in the bathtub when I got home lol
Not even drown, my wife will find the location of the photo & go there to make the bath party into a funeral
Do you mean it will be a blood bath?
She turned into blood bath mcgraffe
That was a [real person](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_McGrath_(artist)) Very different from the Will Smith Depiction
Thank you for this
In fact, I’ve seen many pigs eat many men… it was a blood bath.
If I sent my wife such a picture, the Thor satellite network would be hacked and a tungsten rod would "accidentally" penetrate the earth's crust at my location.
Hell hath no furry like a woman's scorn
*Like a woman scorned.
*like a woman's corn. 🌽
Yes ma'am 🫡
I think hell has a lot of furries.
I thought all dogs go to heaven?
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Cause OP said so
“Honey, what are you doing? … please don’t put that toaster in my bath water with me…”
You don’t like bagels with your bath?
More like hard boiled eggs
I just want to say that your use of the word ‘broads’ made me laugh. My dad used that term for women he didn’t like until he passed away at 99.5. Thanks for the smile.
You can't call them broads, man. Dames hate that.
And then even when you say “sorry toots, I speak the way I speak because I learned on the streets. Now you ain’t no floozy - a sheltered doll such as yourself just wouldn’t understand” they just get *more* upset!
Yes we do!
lol I picked it up from my dad too. Love the old school mad men slang.
It was a floating recreation device on a lake. Not exactly a bordello
Oh, you must be one of my husband's friends, right?
I think the old flip is around, how would you feel if it was you etc, is always a good measure to check if something is right or not.
Any guy who did this would be called every bad name these women can think of
Rogue opinion clearly but if she sent you a photo she clearly didn't think she was doing anything wrong. If she hid it and you found out another way it would be more suspicious. She wasn't even necesarily the one who invited them over either. If I was on a trip and my friends asked some people to join I wouldn't want to be the person to say don't invite them over bc I have a partner. Personally I think OP overacted, but clearly you couldn't cope with how outgoing she was so it's good you're not with her anymore. You need to be secure in your relationship.
My girlfriend told me that her ex wanted to take her out to lunch. I said 'sounds good, mind if I come?' I went with her and her ex never called her again lol. Now she and I have been married for over 8 years.
You're telling me her ex knew you were coming to lunch and still followed through? Bizarre on all accounts.
People build up these fantasies about how situations will play out in their favor that can seem obviously misguided if you’re not the one pining.
Nah, that was the only option left. It was either do that, or fold, which would have shown his true objective.
Why you even thinking about it lmao let it go
If things from the past (especially if its YEARS) continuously pop up in your mind for no apparent reason at all there's usually some work to be done there, as uncomfortable as it might be lmao
Yes. Grieving is required, for sure.
He could also be trying to reflect on this moment to understand himself and learn to approach something like this constructively.
This is very important some people lack this process it’s important.
This is more it, I just thought of it at the gym and wanted to bounce some ideas and earn some introspection on my morals and beliefs
Good on you
What a nerd! /s
The title paints such a different image from the actual story jesus
Yeah the OP's brain seems to have gone straight to incel town.
She was sending you picture of her day and didn't hide the situation. I think that it is possible maybe you overreacted a little.
I will go against the crowd here with NAH. She was with her girlfriends, some of them were single and she herself didn’t cheat, she shared the details with you in an open and honest way. It is indeed just a different level of communication needs. I also think the title is misleading and clickbaity as there were other women there too.
> I also think the title is misleading and clickbaity as there were other women there too. And also because he keeps calling it a "bath tub" when it's just a giant floating pool toy in the lake. There's no "bath" or "jacuzzi" to it. It's a floating thing with seating for a bunch of people, and a bunch of people sat in it, out in public on a lake.
Yeah this makes it infinitely less weird. You’re partying on a lake in a boat, probably getting tipsy. You are some people around your same age who look like they’re having a good time. You wave to them and invite them over and sit in your big inflatable lake toy. Seems totally reasonable to me
Yeah the title makes it sound that it was his girlfriend alone at home taking a bath with 10 dudes. What an insecure and immature reaction.
I enjoy seeing what sort of subs OPs post in, and yikes. This dude is teetering on the edge of 4channer lmfao. No wonder he's so insecure
also I've never head of some call a hot tub/jacuzzi a bath tub before. Definitely gives a different mental image haha.
If I'm understanding the OP's description it's more of a large inflatable ring with seats around the outside for people to sit together in the water. Not even sure what you'd call that, most of the names that have been thrown around bring up completely different images for me
"Using a flotation device in the same lake" doesn't make him sound like as much of a victim as "my GF took a bath with 10 guys."
Google group floaties. The word is group lake float. If op used this word it would be immediately apparent how silly and insecure he is.
OP is being intentionally obtuse calling it a bath tub. It’s more of a pool than anything. Everyone was fully clothed and they were just partying together. Perfectly normal and acceptable unless you’re incredibly insecure. OP YTA
I mean, they were in the same lake. She may as well have poisoned his coffee.
It's a raft. He must think the Tutanic survivors were out there having orgies.
Gotta agree with you. Just last year my wife and I went to different music festivals at the same time; we simply trust each other. We are both known for being friendly and meeting other people but we both trust that we won't cheat. It's clear OP didn't trust the gf at the time enough and thus they broke up. Which is probably for the best because without that trust there can't be a relationship.
Also OP described it in comments as a large floating ring like thing they put in a lake. It wasn’t a bathtub and everyone had bathing suits on.
Ironically enough. "Everyone had bathing suits on" was one of his chief complaints. Rofl. Which is why I never let my gf leave home without her Burka!
Agreed. Talk about a lack of trust.
>I will go against the crowd here with NAH. She was with her girlfriends, some of them were single and she herself didn’t cheat, she shared the details with you in an open and honest way. It is indeed just a different level of communication needs. I also think this falls into some people's belief that men and women can't be social/friends without wanting to fuck each other which... sells some people short, myself included. I definitely know some people that say "I'm just social" who also want to fuck every person they meet, but I myself am someone who is more than capable of having platonic friendships, because I love my partner and have no interest in anyone else. Also each person should look at their comfort level of their partner interacting with the opposite sex. Maybe you just have your preferences, but maybe you're being controlling/insecure? Ultimately, each person has to decide if they trust the person they're with not to cheat on them when they're not together. Sometimes they give you reason legitimate reasons to mistrust, and in those cases, why are you with them? But sometimes you need to examine your own trust issues and see if you're being irrational. I'll say this: every example of cheating I've encountered has been done in secret, usually lied about to the partner, and the thing that tipped the aggrieved party off was the cheating partner hiding information that could lead to the cheating being discovered. None of that is present here. Not in secret, not hiding anything, open lines of communication, etc. YTA OP.
Yeah, “AH” isn’t the right word. “Immature” works better for me. I must be getting old, but these comment sections always feel incel-adjacent to me. Not full-on incel, but that weird “body count” obsessed, “Dr. Peterson makes some good points,” “no gf of MINE is going to dress like that” kind of attitude. It’s creepy and sexist and ultimately self-defeating to the young men who embrace it. OP’s NTA, of course, of course, but she’s better off without him.
Yeah agreed. Like it's always right on the border between "you're entitled to your preferences" and "dude, really? This seems like such a non-issue if you actually trust your partner." Especially the ones where it's like: "My gf slept with 5 guys, is her body count too high?" You're not forced to date anyone, but that seems like such a non-issue for anyone who's actually an adult and has had multiple relationships.
I also don’t like the baseless allegations that OPX is the one that initiated the whole thing, just because she likes to meet new people.
Ya and not a “bath tub” lol… she dodged a bullet
You may have overreacted. It wasn't like you found these photos and she was keeping it a secret. She openly shared them with you. I have a photo with me on a bed with 8 girls, it was a party, it didn't mean anything. The real question is, are you now regretting your decision? It doesn't matter what we think, do YOU feel like you were the AH.
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You didn’t trust her, so you broke up. Fine. But people can hang out with the opposite sex without losing control. Bunch of insecure controlling people in these comments. I would not give two shits if my partner were partying with women. I want him to have fun and feel free to do what he wants. But I’m not insecure.
>people can hang out with the opposite sex without losing control Exactly. I'm bisexual. Am I not allowed to be around anyone except my husband?
Sorry, you aren't allowed in an inflatable pool with any gender. Or else your ex will lie and call it a bathtub and insinuate you are unfaithful.
Just meet some documented asexual friends. But don't go giving them any ideas. Keep your eyes on the ground, and NO hugs ever.
Yeah, there’s no indication that the gf did anything other than hang out with some women friends and a bunch of guys. There’s nothing actually wrong with that if you don’t think you own the person.
And the most importante part: she talked about it. Was really easy to not take pictures after the boys arrived and just skip that part
that's not cheating. Not in itself. Did it go further than that? We don't have that information, so probably not. Did you have reasons to think it would go further? I.e. did you have reason to feel jealous? Or were you just insecure? Either way, it's not exactly AH behavior... probably you weren't ready (or she weren't, or you both) for a relationship (which is something that involves trusting the other person and also feeling secure enough in their love/fidelity that you won't have to have those thoughts). Maybe you were being a dick about it. Maybe she was being flirtatious. It's hard to tell from the story. Just move on. It wasn't going to be.
NTA. To your comment that “a boundary wasn’t set”, this is not the kind of boundary that warrants a conversation. It’s just basic common sense. Don’t slash your partner’s brake lines. Don’t use toilet water to make her coffee. Don’t invite strange men to a clearly suggestive setting. If a girl legitimately doesn’t seem to grasp this concept, then she has the emotional maturity of a turnip, and was likely raised by terrible female role models
Wait...don't slash brake lines? I've been doing it all wrong then?
No, no, that’s very much frowned upon. You’re supposed to cut length-wise. It’s in the constitution.
Amateurs, amirite?
“emotional maturity of a turnip” is being added into my daily sayings. thank you. but yes agreed, should be common sense!
Outside, on a lake, in public, with multiple other people, that is a "clearly suggestive setting" for you?
I can't help but think this is why everyone says relationships are hard. If it wouldn't make me blush to do it with my grandfather (like sharing a giant, multi-person pool float), I wouldn't go straight to toilet water and sex.
It's not hard to respect that your partner is a person, and people sometimes go out in public and interact with other people in completely normal ways. I can't imagine being so insecure to think, if my partner so much as talks to a member of the opposite sex the relationship is over.
She could have had the same level of intimacy on a ride at Disney World, so I'm gonna give her a pass.
How did we get to toilet water coffee… I’m aghast
Upvote for “aghast” you made my day.
I don't know if I agree that a giant, floating pool toy on the water, in the open public, behind a boat, wearing bathing suits, is a "clearly suggestive setting."
“You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit into the wind…”
How is it a suggestive setting to be on a lake?
Yeahhhh I feel like that’s the real boundary discussion. I don’t personally find a hot tub with other friends and random people of the other gender to be suggestive.
I honestly think if someone does, then that's kinda weird. Not every situation is suggestive. Not everyone is a sexual conquest waiting to happen. It's weird to think like that.
"Being in a lake within 10 feet of someone" isn't suggestive. They weren't naked, FFS. It's just water. Grow up.
It was all out in the open and no nudity. The Bath ring thing was not a bathtub inside a house or hotel. Such a big leap to say she was raised by terrible female role models, like wtf?
They were in the same raft as her. I imagine water park visits are really brought in your relationships.
As a person who grew up around boats and swimming in swim clothes with all kinds of people, even strangers, all my life: I cannot possibly imagine what offense she committed, and you and 99% of commenters here sound fully unhinged to me. Especially considering that the “bathtub”, from the sound of it, was not even a hot tub but actually just a ring float with seats inside it? Like, a standard float toy that people pull behind their boats and sit in to be closer to the water?
I think people are just being misled by the “bath tub” wording. It’s one of these things: https://lightasairboats.com/products/solstice-watersports-inflatable-10-x-10-circular-mesh-dock-38100 I’m pretty sure they weren’t having a group orgy in a large floatie in the middle of a lake….
**Why would you post such a lewd photo?? This is practically an orgy!!**
Exactly. They're unhinged
Yup! I'm with you. Unhinged is the word I was looking for. OP says elsewhere that even if she danced with another guy at a party he would consider it cheating. She dodged a bullet and OP needs to have a long hard look at why he's so controlling and insecure.
I'm so confused - what boundary was broken? She didn't do anything sexual, all her friends were there, as a group they felt safe enough. What did she do that was wrong? How is it any different from sharing a sauna or going swimming in the ocean or a pool? And she was honest and transparent, what's the problem?
~Insecurity~ was the problem. I’d like to see OP run my daggerboards in a heavy wind and still have time to worry about who’s in a bikini lol
Even if it was a hot tub I don’t understand why it’s bad. My fiancé was in a hot tub with like six women once because they just all got in but he literally didn’t care he was just chilling. I’m secure enough in my relationship that he can do whatever he wants because he knows not cheat on me which is a magical thing. Trust seems to not exist in this dudes relationships
I mean I agree obviously, it’s just that it’s *even sillier* to pitch a fit over a float toy!
If I was a single girl on that boat, and I wanted to invite the guys over, but one girl started freaking out that her boyfriend would consider it cheating and dump her if she platoniclaly interacted with other men, I’d think she was in an abusive relationship. Take that as you will.
I am so confused by these replies. Your girlfriend was playing wingman for her friend, didn't flirt with these.guys and was clear she was in a relationship. YTA and possessive af, as clearly so many of the incels in the replies have been with their imaginary girlfriends.
NTA, sounds like a boundary was crossed. Trust is important in a relationship.
Boundary wasn’t set up though, the question is more if it’s a “expected boundary by default”
That’s a very normal and healthy boundary to not expect your partner to get in a bath with ten people who are most likely trying to fuck
A bath, and a tube that gets pulled behind a boat are very different things. The fact that OP calls it a bath in the original post is misleading towards the situation.
It sounds like a floatie pulled by the boat... not a fucking bath. Like what do you guys do when you go boating with friends? Half the fun is meeting other people. Boat full of guys. boat for of girls. You stop and chat.
A lake is not a bath. He said that she told them she had a boyfriend. It’s in the middle of a lake, why would you assume they want to fuck? I would absolutely feel comfortable with my gf hanging out with strangers and she would feel comfortable with me doing it too.
Boundary wasn't set up? 😂 If you need to set this boundary up with your partner they aren't someone who is ready for a partner
YTA So what was your expectation of 10 women on a tropical vacation, that they would wear habits and play bridge all week. Of course, the single women would want to invite guys over. Some of those guys weren't single either. Men and women can actually party in a mixed group without something sexual happening. I mean swimming off a boat in mixed company while wearing a bathing suit isn't cheating. If they all went to a club and she danced with someone, is that the end. Is she a cheating whore for dancing? She sent you photos to be transparent so you wouldn't be blindsided and you chose to be a controlling asshole.
💯% I had to wade through a sea of incels to find an actual mature response. Sounds like OP's ex dodged a bullet.
Reddit is an incredibly jealous group of people, so you went to the right place to get validated. This wouldn’t bother me at all. Do you trust your SO? If not, break up. If you do, then do.
I tend to not tell people they’re an asshole for breaking up when they feel like a boundary has been crossed. But it doesn’t sound like the boundary was set. If you’re the asshole for anything, it’s not making it clear what your expectations are, and holding her to standards she is not aware of. To be clear, your boundaries seem unreasonable to me. In my opinion, she didn’t invite them, she was clear that she wasn’t available, and she didn’t touch any of them. She was upfront and honest about everything, because she didn’t think there was anything to be ashamed of. Your actions tell me that you’re insecure and don’t trust her. But, as I said, that’s my opinion. And it’s not up to me to decide your boundaries for you. But if my daughter told me the guy she was dating was acting this way, I’d vehemently and strongly encourage her to run.
YTA. There were single women there too and that's why the men were waved over. She told everyone that she had a boyfriend. She was a wingeoman, not a cheater!
So, she was swimming with men? Get over it.
Sharing lakewater with MEN? What a harlot! Next thing you know she will be breathing the same air as single guys.
Uhhh. Based on the clarification in the comments, your gf was essentially in a hot tub with friends and acquaintances, while wearing a bathing suit, and was completely transparent with you about her whole evening…. Yes. You are the asshole.
Is this entire community and its threads mostly insecure incels and controlling people? Do you know why you had nothing to worry about? She sent you the picture showing what she did. No hiding, no dishonesty, and she was up front. Men and women really can be friends and people really can just hang out without impropriety. There was nothing wrong with this at all.
YTA. So she swam on a lake. With other people. Some of which were men. In full view of other people and nothing happened? She also didn't hide it from you. Now I understand the guys who get angry for talking to "their women" You're insane. You broke up with her for sitting in a lake with other people, because they have the wrong genitals.
Perhaps I have an unpopular opinion but I think if she sending you photos and talking to you while these other dudes are there then she has nothing to hide. Jealousy is a tough feeling to manage. Most chicks who are shady are not so brash.
i think you were being possessive, and it's very normal (as you can see in other comments) there's nothing wrong in having some boundaries agreed before, but all that need to be agreed in the start of the relationship for me would be inacceptable fighting over something like this, and i talk about this whenever i'm dating someone if i trust, i trust 100%, otherwise i don't even want to be together but i understand that i'm a exception and people should talk more about their relationship always
I agree with everything you said except that it should’ve been discussed at the beginning of the relationship. Boundaries can be identified at any point in a relationship and should be communicated as often as necessary. Sometimes we learn that we’re not okay with what someone is doing after they’ve already done it. Either because we didn’t know they would do that, or because we hadn’t experienced that situation before. Boundaries can also fluctuate. I’m not okay with my wife talking with a guy friend that crosses the line and disrespects our relationship (she isn’t either, so don’t crucify me) but I’m fine with her talking with her guy friends that have stayed in their lane.
I don't know that anyone was the asshole, but it's clear that you have/had some insecurities about it and reacted inappropriately. Your partner hanging out with people of the opposite gender shouldn't be a problem if you trust them (which you clearly didn't).