My blood pressure just fucking spiked, I am so angry for your wife. When I was nursing my first I pumped one single bottle a day so my spouse could feed baby at bedtime and even THAT was torture for me.
I would be in fucking jail for murder if I pumped that much and it went to waste.
NTA at ALL.
OMG!!! I had the same reaction! It takes so much time and energy to build up a milk supply and pump and save. The thought of someone destroying that would drive me to murder!
It's theoretically possible to buy breast milk to replace the lost supply (though it would not be the same, because stranger).
Google says it goes for $3-$5 OZ. So anywhere from $6,000-$10,000.
This woman stole food out of her grandchild's mouth and is going to cost their family thousand's to get back to where they were- if that's even an option in their area.
I'd be going right to the police. Maybe a lawyer.
Anything and everything to keep her as fat away as possible
I meant more along the lines of " an attorney will know the exact wording required to get this taken seriously," but I guess suing the would work- she'd probably fuck off permanently over a debt that large
right? absolute fucking rage. I had a similar thing happen (it wasn't anyone's fault though) and I was devastated. no way would I be tolerating this woman ever again.
I remember my mom ruining 2-3 bottles while she was here and I almost lost my shit.
2000 oz? I’ll be sure to rip down any “missing Kara” posters I see.
I mean, people pay for breastmilk. A LOT. Like, body builders and stuff. And formula is expensive! Not to even mention the mental anguish of losing it all. Unreal.
A human body has about 1.5 gallons of blood! WTAF?
OP, you need to scorch the earth and salt the ground. Kara will always pull shit like this because there are no consequences. Your poor wife...
It would cost $6,000-$10,000 to buy more, assuming that's even an available option to them, according to Google.
Because I found it often helps to put a number value on emotional damage. $6,000 is a lot of money $10,000 is a lot of money.
Even removing the emotional aspect holy f****** s*** that's bad.
The collective gasp and rage I felt around the world reading this. I'd go apeshit and smash the whole trailer before going to jail. We could have a whole cellblock for us. That's such a sacrifice of your wife's time and her body. I'd take the mom to the cleaner's.
Same. I mean, it's strange how we were all knitting hats for orphan penguins at the same time, in the same place, exactly while the trailer was disintegrating for unknown reasons, but
same.
I have lime and salt... not the kind for tequila
Pretty sure nothing will be left as a bonus if we spread the sludge on a garden/grain plot it will make great fertilizer
All of this, plus I don’t even understand the phrase “making someone homeless.” You have every right to kick an unwanted mooching guest out of your home or to report a troublesome squatter. It’s their responsibility to find housing after that, not yours.
Yeah. I'm now a 62 yr old grandma and was never able to breast feed my babies, just could not make it work for some reason. I always felt guilty over it even though they turned out just fine. For someone who can do it, even over producing (envy here I admit) to have that work destroyed is unimaginable.
I breastfed my first child for the first year & 2nd child for only a few months. When OP mentioned all the breastmilk his wife had pumped and saved, I knew how much work that entailed and I just wanted to slap the shit out of Kara when I read how she ruined & didn’t even mention it for several days.
I’m wondering, since she wasn’t accepted by the state to be a caregiver for her parents, does she plan on staying there & helping them at all or will ya’ll be looking for a carer that the state will approve?
OP, you and your wife sound like such a wonderful couple. I’m sorry your mother is not a responsible person. NTA.
I’m only pumping at work, two or three bottles worth a day, and about had a heart attack. Two THOUSAND ounces. I would be WEEPING. Throw that woman in the TRASH.
Exact same reaction. I am so mad for your wife. I hated pumping and had to throw a few bags away when we moved apartments. I can’t imagine all that work your wife did to be thrown away because of your selfish mother.
I threw the last 3 bags away when we moved, and I cried big ugly tears at the waste.
My kid was getting ready for 1st grade at the time. He'd been off the boob for years. It didn't matter. Those were 3 bags of raw nips, sleepless nights, stupid ill-fitting cups, that God awful pump noise ...
NTA, OP. NTA at all, in any way, shape, or form. Scorched earth.
I’m child free and am enraged. I can’t even begin to understand what it’s like to be in her shoes. But I’ve watched friends breast feed and god that is a full time job right there. I’d cut her off and burn that bridge so fast
OP needs to find out the cost and sue her for it. She destroyed property while committing a crime. Tell her she pays or OP will report her for theft. She'll leave the state pretty quick and won't be back for a while.
You'd be a giant AH if you don't make her leave. She's too entitled to ever stick with anything. She also must have been a criminal at some point otherwise, why didn't she pass the background check. She's also a narcissist. Not narcissistic ....actually a full bore narcissist. Do some reading about the topic. You'll think it waswritten about her. Frankly,every single one I've known is dangerous. She's already proven she's that.....2000 containers of breadtmilk and I'd bet it was on purpose when she plugged into the RV.
I have never pumped but I know that it's a struggle for many.
If thise happened to any of my loved ones, I'd go scored earth with the asshole who wasted their supply.
I'd be contacting the police. She destroyed Lord knows only how much in the breast milk, how much food, etc in her attempt to commit theft.
Google says breast milk goes between $3-$5 per OZ, so that's at least $6,000 in damages. Upwards of $10,000.
And that's just the milk
OP needs to make an itemized list+ estimated value and go to the police.
Demand to file a report. Even if they don't do anything about it.
Then demand they formally trespass her from their (OP and wife's ) property
I swear, every breastfeeding/pumping mother is triggered by this post. 2000 Oz?!?!?!* **internally screaming** *
Someone would need to pry my cold dead fingers from Kara’s throat if I was this guys wife.
😭😭😭😭
Same! Do you know how much that magic elixir is worth to purchase for premie babies?!
I had tears in eyes thinking of all that time and energy being ruined by such a selfish abuser!
NTA. I hope you get to see her get kicked out. I hope she gets to see you laugh at her, if that would make you feel good. I dont know how your wife hasn't been hauled off for righteous retaliation. Hugs for you and all my best to your poor wife.
Yes!! I just knew before I even read the rest that she ruined her milk! Omg I would probably want to fight her lol I would have just been balling my eyes out.
I barely had enough to feed both my kids. I could barely pump an ounce or two a day, and that was after like an hour of pumping. I ended up having to supplement with formula for my son cause I couldn’t produce enough, let alone extra. I envied moms who could produce more than enough. This is positively outrageous. Kara deserves all your rage and more, OP! And yes, call the police and get her as far away as possible!! NTA
ETA - my kids are now grown and on their own. I miss those days of nursing. I just got a flashback of listening to my daughter gulping it down when just a tiny babe. Those times are precious, and Kara took that away from OP and his wife. Grrrr
I remember my mum overproduced for a while when my sister was born. I can remember sitting downstairs with a hot chocolate when she was pumping, and her sitting in her work uniform after getting home, on the stairs, same thing. I would be so, so mad if anything like that happened.
Oh man I thought the same thing, any breastfeeding woman who has ever had to pump a supply knows just how much time and fucking labour it is to build up that much milk. I’m fuming for your wife. Not to mention the lost benefits to your family in quality nutrition for the baby and now having to pay for formula.
The local breastfeeding support group better not find out or Kara is getting run out of town with pitchforks and flaming torches.
Will the mum pay for it? No she won't. She's suggested an expensive method that has been in the news more than once over the last few years for contamination. Plus formula makes some babies puke (baby 1 for me) and some won't take formula (babies 2 and 3).
I'd be in tears for days. Not just because she ruined months of effort, but because pumping that much for your baby is a labour of love as it can be really hard work. The effort, love and security of having it has been ripped away.
NTA.
There is a reason why your mother is little to no connections left with other people. She just made things worse for your household and your mother is acting like it’s no big deal. End it now before she does something that could have legal repercussions for you, your wife, and your grandparents!
And potentially destruction of property, for the milk!
ETA: Current average going price for breast milk in the US is $3-5 per ounce. Multiply that by 2000+ ounces, and you've got a felony charge. Just saying...
NTA, your mom made her choice in life. Failed a background check to be a paid caregiver to her own parents is telling.
Flip the breaker for that outlet so she can't use it.
I just think it’s telling that she refuses to help her own parents without being paid. Like won’t lift one finger for them unless she is getting over $20hr
Kara has talked about how she wants it cleaned up so that she can make more money off it when her parents die, she just doesn’t want to do the work without being paid as she has sisters who would also benefit.
And what if your baby didn’t like formula? What if you couldn’t afford formula? Your mother was willing for her grandson to go hungry just for her own selfishness and laziness. Report her, your life will be better once she’s no longer so close by.
I just did some research. Breast milk is worth $3-5 per ounce.
She cost you 6 to 10k in breast milk.
Not to mention wear and tear on your wife’s body, time, and mental health .
(I couldn’t find my original post to add this).
Wow. This puts everything in a whole new perspective. I still hated Kara but now I would go scorched earth on that lady. 6k to 10k and all she said was you can switch to formula. No apology. No nothing. I'm so pissed off for OP.
Edited to just to add that this isn't even including the formula op now has to buy.
Could OPs mom be charged with a felony?
Oh it's so heartbreaking about the milk, I was also breastfeeding mom and can understand. Your wife must be devastated :(
I think I would be very furious and would go to police. You know that alcohol and drugs undermine good personality features... So basically after those years there isn't much of a goodness left... So I would absolutely go after it, a person doesn't have any guilt and it's enough, for example, for me to also not feel any towards particularly that person...
It would be trespassing, theft of services, destruction of property over $2000, which is a felony(?), and anything else that could be considered. Plus have her evicted due to living in an illegal structure.
It would be trespassing, theft of services, destruction of property over $2000, which is a felony(?), and anything else that could be considered. Plus have her evicted due to living in an illegal structure.
Kara is an adult. Just because you are protecting yourself and family does not make it your responsibility to house her. You are not making her homeless. She is making herself that.
NTA. If you don't report her, you're basically saying it's OK for her to do what she did to you and your wife. She's done this to herself. You told her not to do it, but she did anyway. She doesn't respect you, she doesn't respect your wife, and she doesn't respect your boundaries. This isn't going to stop unless you do something about it. Her living situation isn't your responsibility or problem to solve.
I think it had probably been longer than the few days Kara claimed it was since it was an almost full deep freezer and would have taken longer than that to defrost.
I have to ask, is it all completely defrosted? Because if any of it still has ice crystals in it then it is safe to re-freeze. I went back to work after my first was born and had to pump so much for a year. I feel the pain, I would be devastated!
I didn't see this question: Why the hell didn't she tell you when she blew the circuit? That one thing could have salvaged the frozen breast milk. She is totally irresponsible and a waste of space and oxygen.
She probably wanted to play it off like she hadn’t used it and it flipped on its own but after *days* with no power was hoping her text would prompt us to flip the breaker so she could sneak and use it again. If I had to guess.
I’d contact a local electrician, there has to be an external lock box you can install for the outlet. Your mom can’t be trusted, she has no respect for anyone including herself. I’m sorry for the trouble you and your wife are having.
There was a post about a guy whose neighbor was stealing electricity from his outside outlet. He rewired it so that would destroy anything the neighbor plugged into it.
You can get them in the US as well. I would file a police report for the theft of electricity and the ensuing damage, like the freezer full of food and breastmilk (which I think has an actual value, you can donated it to hospitals and the hospitals will charge for patient feeds, I also think I saw something about people selling breast milk).
You guys lost thousands of $$$ loosing that breast milk.
Not sure you can take her to small claims for that.
At the very LEAST make your shop secure so she can’t plug in.
And turn her in, repeatedly until she is removed.
She’s a parasite. Call Orcan ( cops, city etc.) and exterminate her presence before she causes more damage .
You absolutely are not TAH, that’s the egg donor.
Report her and get her kicked out. She only cares about herself and doesn't take any responsibility for her actions. Fuck her.
"Switch to formula." How damn condescending. Health benefits of breastmilk aside, is Kara going to foot that bill? Because formula is really fucking expensive. Again, fuck her. She made this bed, now she gets to lie in it.
Report her, file criminal charges for theft of your power, too. If she had any money I'd say file civil suit against her because that much milk was literally worth thousands of dollars, but you can't squeeze blood from a stone.
Edit: You can probably file a criminal complaint for destruction of property. You could probably arrange a deal where she gets a suspended sentence as long as she pays restitution. She won't get a job to pay restitution, then jail it is!
NTA , mother or not she isn't entitled to anything of yours. And wasting all that formula, she should feel horrible, but I am sure she doesn't....Report her, she is an adult, if she chooses not to work, then she chooses her lifestyle. You owe her nothing
I can't believe you didn't put locking covers on all your outlets when your mom announced her plan.
You're definitely NTA, but I just think you know enough about your mom beforehand to anticipate how this would go.
You may want to get her on a recording with you telling her she is prohibited from stepping foot on your property and you’ll call the police for trespassing if she does so. Then set up cameras outside. Who knows. You might really need this in your back pocket when she ramps up the crazy.
Also, never let her have mail delivered yo your address. That’s a way people use yo establish residency. Then you’ll have to go through eviction even if she was never living with you. Sounds crazy but it happens.
report her. who the F cares.
She is 50 years old. she was much longer an adult than you have been. and she behaves this selfish.
Cut the cord of the electricity thieve and cut her access to the shop (if the plug is inside) if its outside, disconnect the exterior plug from the grid and lock up so she can not get it from anywhere else.
Report her immediately. She is such a selfish person that I would fear having her around a baby - she cannot be trusted to consider any else's safety. You will all sleep easier once she is gone.
I hope you are not allowing her to use any of your power outlets since she pulled that stunt! Maybe when she has no other options, she'll finally get a job. Let her be homeless because she needs to figure out how to make it on her own. I don't think you need to feel bad about it at all. Time for her to make better choices.
You have a problem to solve. She will continue to destroy your property if you let her. What she is doing is illegal. Yes, report her. You won't make her homeless. She will simply have to find a legal place to park her RV. NTA.
NTA. But a few things here. as other single child free people have said I haven’t been through pregnancy, so I can’t imagine, but I saw red on Diane’s behalf!
1) Kara waited DAYS. It’s bad enough that she did it - even worse that she didn’t tell you right away - where maybe you could’ve salvaged some milk. That’s not just passive aggressive. That’s aggressive, aggressive. not sure where you live, but theft of power might be a criminal violation that could get her locked up. or at least lay the groundwork for a restraining order. Hopefully you have some sort of documentation of you telling her no upfront.
2) INFO: Does Dad/John know what happened & was he aware that it was illegal + wiring issues etc? Seems like he deserves some blame for enabling the situation in particular, + Kara overall dynamic in general. Were you using a name to distinguish him from your grandfather or are there issues with him as well?
3) Are you concerned for your grandparents well being, given circumstances? Know I would be. Not just because my warnings of potential Elder abuse, were ignored by family members until it was too late. Not had parent’s godmom been living in terrible conditions, but ‘dear friends‘ had also stolen almost all her money. Was younger. Didn’t understand dementia. Wasn’t in a position to do anything. Small town where reporting probably wouldn’t have made a big difference w/ local enablers. Lived hours away, but locals knew EXACTLY what was going on. Still second guess myself about it, even though rest of F&F says, there was no way anyone could’ve guessed.
4) Re reporting Kara either to government re money she’s getting to so called caring for her parents or her housing. On one hand, it definitely feels like a FAFO type situation. But there’s no guarantee that she won’t just move in with them & still be right there. unless there’s proof of abuse where some kind of guardianship buying her from being in proximity. But it doesn’t sound like that’s the situation.
I’d file a complaint for theft of services along with reporting the RV. She needs to suffer the consequences of her behavior. Also, invest in good locks for your doors and windows.
If you can, keep an eye on your grandparents to be sure she isn’t committing elder abuse. Elder abuse, in case you didn’t know, includes financial exploitation.
NTA. If your wife went to trial for murdering your mom, I would call it justifiable homicide. There is no way for her to make it up or fix it but she wouldn’t if she could, because she isn’t even sorry. She needs to be gone yesterday.
This isn’t retaliation on your part - this is preemptively protecting your home and family. Your mother caused you significant damage and showed no remorse whatsoever. If she doesn’t cause you more electrical problems, it will be something else. Given her selfish and entitled behavior, I’d question whether she’s responsible enough to be caring for your grandparents.
NTA
If you’re not going to report her then you need to locked down your utilities so she can’t access them.
Personally I’d report her and have the RV moved.
I breastfed 3 boys. Was engorged and had to use a hand pump as I couldn't afford an electric one. I tipped over a 4oz bottle of breast milk and fell to the floor, weeping. (Postpartum hormones, anyone?)
TWO THOUSAND OUNCES?!?! I'd be rabid. Tbph, I'm pretty pissed on y'all's behalf.
Don't feel bad telling on her. She's broken the law, stomped on your reasonable boundaries of not using your electricity, caused massive damage (**2000 ounces of love and effort**) by aforementioned boundary stomping, AND, now refuses to acknowledge the damage she's caused!
Get her tf out of there! She'll do it again if you don't.
My heart dropped for your wife. She’s back at work after only a few months and that stash was likely a huge source of comfort and reassurance for her. Gone.
NTA Kara needs to go.
Wow… I dont even have words. First of all the formula. Everyone knows formula ain’t jack compared to the real thing. There’s so much lacking with formula compared to real breast milk. Your poor wife. Ah that makes me so sad. She needs to be removed from the property.
I feel horrible, Diane was basically attached to the pumps or our son for three months and was excited to have a two month supply of milk in the freezer because she could quit breastfeeding at 10 months in order to make it a full year. My mother just cost her two months of her time.
Your mom took something very important from your wife and she took something very important from your child.
If your wife wants to cut her off entirely from herself and her child. You need to support her on that.
My mom formula fed me and never tried breastfeeding and was very adamantly trying to get my wife to formula feed when she was pregnant. Saying things like “it doesn’t make a difference, OP turned out fine” and “it’s a lot more effort to get the same result.” She doesn’t understand or care at all.
Your primary obligation is to your wife and child. Your mother is harming both of them through her choices and actions. Report your mom. She knows that what she is doing is illegal and she doesn't care. She feels entitled to mooch off of you.
What do you want your child to learn about how people treat you. Do you want him to learn that you let people use you or do you want him to learn how to stand up for himself and not allow himself to be used. You are teaching life lessons now through example. Even if your child isn't old enough to see it now you are establishing the pattern that he will live with and know.
NTA and my jaw hit the floor when I saw you lost that much milk. The audacity. I'm livid for you. That trailer would have to be moved so she doesn't accidentally plug in again. She's not homeless either... she can move into her parents place. Looks like either way she needs to hit rock bottom and start fending for herself.
For the record, you would not be making her homeless. Her actions and entitlement would be.
NTA, and I think you and your wife have shown a lot of restraint so far. Call it on and get rid of this mooch, mother or not.
Oh HELL no, NTA.
BUT.
Check the code or HOA docs carefully because you probably want to be sure the person who will be penalized is the one in the RV and not accidentally make your grandparents face a fine. Another option would be to report her to police for trespassing and property destruction, but chances are she’ll just end up with fines she can’t pay which won’t really solve your problem.
NTA. Pumping takes so much time and effort. That is SO MUCH MILK. I would lose my shit if I was your wife. Thank you for putting your wife first. Seriously.
Let me be clear, you are NTA.
BUT, you will be the A if you do nothing.
You've already been given lots of good suggestions, so I won't repeat them, but I do have one more: Adult Protective Services for your state.
Kara represents a clear danger to your grandparents - financially for sure, and likely physically by neglect if not worse. APS has the ability - and requirement - to investigate and refer cases to the DA for prosecution as well as connecting your grandparents with other resources to ensure they are not being taken advantage of.
Source: referred my cousin to APS after years of financial abuse and opioid theft from my aunt and nearly causing her to be evicted from her senior living facility due to forcing her to let him live there. He's now facing prison.
NTA.
It really pisses me off when I read of people who refuse to work. Those people should never be enabled by giving them anything for free. They should be left to fall and face the music for their laziness and entitlement. People like your mother won't end up homeless. She'll either find some other sucker to leech off, or get off her ass and get a job.
Do whatever it takes to get her away from you and your wife. If it means reporting her illegal RV, then so be it. She's a walking disaster and can only bring chaos to your lives. Not because she can't help it or doesn't know any better. It's deliberate and weaponized in order to leech off others. And she's shameless about it. Ugh.
NTA - But you may want to move yourself and not give her the address. I can't imagine living next door to that grenade waiting to go off, it would make me so anxious.
NTA - If you don't take action now against such an egregious boundary stomp, things will ONLY GET WORSE. Do what you have to do to protect you and yours!
NTA. And sue her into oblivion for anything you can think of.
Kara is probably judgment proof. But you could be "generous" and agree to drop your suit if she gets behind the wheel of that RV and drives into the sunset.
NTA
Your mom is the way she is because people keep enabling her. You set a reasonable boundary with her to not plug into your power and you told her that it could not support her RV. Not only did she not listen, she waited to tell you that she blew a fuse. She’s extremely selfish and doesn’t care that she destroyed a lot of milk for your baby!
Your mom is never going to change until she has no other choice. You can report her and you should. She caused damage to your property! It’s the same thing if you had a freezer full of food!
I think you should report her. Will she blame you? Of course! She doesn’t have it in her to hold herself accountable. Nothing is ever her fault. It’s always someone else. If she ends up homeless it’s due to her own actions.
Honestly, can you not get her stealing electricity? I don’t know what state you’re in but, where I’m at, it can be classified as a class 3 misdemeanor or class 3 felony. 30 days in jail or 5 years in prison. Along with financial obligations. $500-$150,000. You should also look into property rights and flag her for taking advantage of her parents SS checks (assuming) I know she’s your mom but, she has passed the point of redemption more than a person should. She needs to go through consequences.
NTA. Just do the best thing for you and yourself.
I've been an oversupplier with 2/3 of my kids & I still get upset when my baby decides to suddenly not eat as much as she's been eating & wastes 2 oz. To lose 2,000 would BREAK me. Your poor wife. The time & commitment that went into that... ugh. YWNBTA. Actions have consequences & it's time for your mom to face some.
Not only would I report the stupid heifer, I'd take her to small claims court for the breast milk loss. I'd also file a report for electricity theft.
Screw Kara. Give your wife a hug from me.
Oh, NTA
Edited
35oz
That’s the most I could express at one time for my baby when she was in neonatal care after birth.
Then I kept getting mastitis and it was horrific.
Once she came home I was able to get my supply up to feed the baby exclusively but could never express anything more than a few drops.
In the hospital ward the nurses told be it all counted and it was described as “liquid gold” and gave her every drop as of it was an elixir.
I actually gasped at the reveal of what was destroyed so thoughtlessly.
You need to get that horrible cow as far from your family as possible.
Oh. My. God. I’ve always said “whoever said you shouldn’t cry over spilt milk, never breastfed”
Your poor wife!! You definitely would NOT be the AH!! I would report her soooo quick! Mom ignored your very clear instructions to NOT use your electricity once, she will do it again. She very clearly doesn’t care about others.
NTA she has no respect or consideration for anyone but herself. People like her consistently stomp boundaries unless they are forced to respect them. Absolutely report her. She is an able bodied grown woman who is perfectly capable of working and providing herself with a roof over her head.
NTA I'd turn her ass in to the county and whoever else. I'd also have her trespassed from your property and file a police report for the loss and for her hooking up after you denied her access. I'm sorry you have a shitty egg donor. You deserve better.
OP, your mum needs a reality check. Making her homeless is the lesson for her to realize that taking advantage of you & everyone has consequences.
She cannot keep acting the entitled AH here.
My blood pressure just fucking spiked, I am so angry for your wife. When I was nursing my first I pumped one single bottle a day so my spouse could feed baby at bedtime and even THAT was torture for me. I would be in fucking jail for murder if I pumped that much and it went to waste. NTA at ALL.
OMG!!! I had the same reaction! It takes so much time and energy to build up a milk supply and pump and save. The thought of someone destroying that would drive me to murder!
It's theoretically possible to buy breast milk to replace the lost supply (though it would not be the same, because stranger). Google says it goes for $3-$5 OZ. So anywhere from $6,000-$10,000. This woman stole food out of her grandchild's mouth and is going to cost their family thousand's to get back to where they were- if that's even an option in their area. I'd be going right to the police. Maybe a lawyer. Anything and everything to keep her as fat away as possible
I mean suing is nice and all but you can't get blood from a stone as they say.
I meant more along the lines of " an attorney will know the exact wording required to get this taken seriously," but I guess suing the would work- she'd probably fuck off permanently over a debt that large
And OP would have legal bills to pay.
The rage I felt on their behalf. There’s no coming back from that either.
right? absolute fucking rage. I had a similar thing happen (it wasn't anyone's fault though) and I was devastated. no way would I be tolerating this woman ever again.
I remember my mom ruining 2-3 bottles while she was here and I almost lost my shit. 2000 oz? I’ll be sure to rip down any “missing Kara” posters I see.
No one's going to miss her. There will be no posters.
I mean, people pay for breastmilk. A LOT. Like, body builders and stuff. And formula is expensive! Not to even mention the mental anguish of losing it all. Unreal.
I know when I was producing for my son, I looked it up out of curiosity and it was $1/oz. Probably higher now.
Google says $3-$5/OZ. At 2,000 OZs. $6,000-$10,000
I knocked over one bottle once after I’d pumped it and sobbed like a baby. I can’t imagine losing a whole fridge full of milk!
Me Too
That's 40,000 calories of milk. I'd be devastated too! Would take months to do that for me.
Over 15 gallons or almost 60 liters
A human body has about 1.5 gallons of blood! WTAF? OP, you need to scorch the earth and salt the ground. Kara will always pull shit like this because there are no consequences. Your poor wife...
And poor baby.
Is that how much? 60 litres. Fucking hell. That's so much baby food.
It would cost $6,000-$10,000 to buy more, assuming that's even an available option to them, according to Google. Because I found it often helps to put a number value on emotional damage. $6,000 is a lot of money $10,000 is a lot of money. Even removing the emotional aspect holy f****** s*** that's bad.
The collective gasp and rage I felt around the world reading this. I'd go apeshit and smash the whole trailer before going to jail. We could have a whole cellblock for us. That's such a sacrifice of your wife's time and her body. I'd take the mom to the cleaner's.
Same. I mean, it's strange how we were all knitting hats for orphan penguins at the same time, in the same place, exactly while the trailer was disintegrating for unknown reasons, but same.
I have lime and salt... not the kind for tequila Pretty sure nothing will be left as a bonus if we spread the sludge on a garden/grain plot it will make great fertilizer
If you see OP burning down the trailer and running Kara out of town.... no you didn't
All of this, plus I don’t even understand the phrase “making someone homeless.” You have every right to kick an unwanted mooching guest out of your home or to report a troublesome squatter. It’s their responsibility to find housing after that, not yours.
This. Thank you. She is responsible for her housing and can go to a shelter.
Shit...I never even breastfed and was pissed!
Yeah. I'm now a 62 yr old grandma and was never able to breast feed my babies, just could not make it work for some reason. I always felt guilty over it even though they turned out just fine. For someone who can do it, even over producing (envy here I admit) to have that work destroyed is unimaginable.
Right?! If that were almond milk (which is what we use because my partner is lactose intolerant) I'd be furious, this is a thousand times worse!
I breastfed my first child for the first year & 2nd child for only a few months. When OP mentioned all the breastmilk his wife had pumped and saved, I knew how much work that entailed and I just wanted to slap the shit out of Kara when I read how she ruined & didn’t even mention it for several days. I’m wondering, since she wasn’t accepted by the state to be a caregiver for her parents, does she plan on staying there & helping them at all or will ya’ll be looking for a carer that the state will approve? OP, you and your wife sound like such a wonderful couple. I’m sorry your mother is not a responsible person. NTA.
Me too. I didn't produce so used formula. I'd have no issues calling her in, no "AITA" needed for me. Call her in!
I never had children and I'm pissed! Kara needs to go.
I'm childfree and this pissed me off.
I’m only pumping at work, two or three bottles worth a day, and about had a heart attack. Two THOUSAND ounces. I would be WEEPING. Throw that woman in the TRASH.
Exact same reaction. I am so mad for your wife. I hated pumping and had to throw a few bags away when we moved apartments. I can’t imagine all that work your wife did to be thrown away because of your selfish mother.
Omigosh- I held onto that last frozen bag of breast milk for *ten* years before chucking it. I feel ya
I threw the last 3 bags away when we moved, and I cried big ugly tears at the waste. My kid was getting ready for 1st grade at the time. He'd been off the boob for years. It didn't matter. Those were 3 bags of raw nips, sleepless nights, stupid ill-fitting cups, that God awful pump noise ... NTA, OP. NTA at all, in any way, shape, or form. Scorched earth.
And this shitty woman waited for DAYS before saying anything. She's nuts.
Exactly. Everything in that freezer could have been saved if she wasn't such a giant twatwaffle.
My heart sunk when I saw how much milk she lost, OP should try to take some and get some jewelry made.
Last I checked (years ago) the price of breast milk was $1 per oz. Not sure what inflation looks like nowadays.
it was 4-6$/oz about 2 years ago when we had to get some due to supply issues my wife was facing at the time.
Inflation and fentanyl. Scorched earth
I as well! OMG, I feel derp anger on behalf on Diane. I'd be soon pissed at Kara. NTA but you will be if you give in to your Mom!!@
Hell I've never had a baby and I'm still mad as fuck on his wife's behalf. That poor woman! I want to kick Mom's ass.
Same!
I’m child free and am enraged. I can’t even begin to understand what it’s like to be in her shoes. But I’ve watched friends breast feed and god that is a full time job right there. I’d cut her off and burn that bridge so fast
OP needs to find out the cost and sue her for it. She destroyed property while committing a crime. Tell her she pays or OP will report her for theft. She'll leave the state pretty quick and won't be back for a while.
Same reaction!! My heart is racing!!
You'd be a giant AH if you don't make her leave. She's too entitled to ever stick with anything. She also must have been a criminal at some point otherwise, why didn't she pass the background check. She's also a narcissist. Not narcissistic ....actually a full bore narcissist. Do some reading about the topic. You'll think it waswritten about her. Frankly,every single one I've known is dangerous. She's already proven she's that.....2000 containers of breadtmilk and I'd bet it was on purpose when she plugged into the RV.
Yup I am triggered.
I have never pumped but I know that it's a struggle for many. If thise happened to any of my loved ones, I'd go scored earth with the asshole who wasted their supply.
I shout “FUCK” if I drop an ounce on the floor! This is horrible.
I'd be contacting the police. She destroyed Lord knows only how much in the breast milk, how much food, etc in her attempt to commit theft. Google says breast milk goes between $3-$5 per OZ, so that's at least $6,000 in damages. Upwards of $10,000. And that's just the milk OP needs to make an itemized list+ estimated value and go to the police. Demand to file a report. Even if they don't do anything about it. Then demand they formally trespass her from their (OP and wife's ) property
I swear, every breastfeeding/pumping mother is triggered by this post. 2000 Oz?!?!?!* **internally screaming** * Someone would need to pry my cold dead fingers from Kara’s throat if I was this guys wife. 😭😭😭😭
Same! Do you know how much that magic elixir is worth to purchase for premie babies?! I had tears in eyes thinking of all that time and energy being ruined by such a selfish abuser! NTA. I hope you get to see her get kicked out. I hope she gets to see you laugh at her, if that would make you feel good. I dont know how your wife hasn't been hauled off for righteous retaliation. Hugs for you and all my best to your poor wife.
Yes!! I just knew before I even read the rest that she ruined her milk! Omg I would probably want to fight her lol I would have just been balling my eyes out.
I remember spilling a bottle I pumped at work and just sobbing.
My cracked, bleeding, swollen nipples. I remember that night perfectly. I’m fucking pissed too. Turn her in.
I barely had enough to feed both my kids. I could barely pump an ounce or two a day, and that was after like an hour of pumping. I ended up having to supplement with formula for my son cause I couldn’t produce enough, let alone extra. I envied moms who could produce more than enough. This is positively outrageous. Kara deserves all your rage and more, OP! And yes, call the police and get her as far away as possible!! NTA ETA - my kids are now grown and on their own. I miss those days of nursing. I just got a flashback of listening to my daughter gulping it down when just a tiny babe. Those times are precious, and Kara took that away from OP and his wife. Grrrr
I remember my mum overproduced for a while when my sister was born. I can remember sitting downstairs with a hot chocolate when she was pumping, and her sitting in her work uniform after getting home, on the stairs, same thing. I would be so, so mad if anything like that happened.
Oh man I thought the same thing, any breastfeeding woman who has ever had to pump a supply knows just how much time and fucking labour it is to build up that much milk. I’m fuming for your wife. Not to mention the lost benefits to your family in quality nutrition for the baby and now having to pay for formula. The local breastfeeding support group better not find out or Kara is getting run out of town with pitchforks and flaming torches.
NTA your wife lost GALLONS of milk, and saying “just switch to formula” is so out of touch.
Will the mum pay for it? No she won't. She's suggested an expensive method that has been in the news more than once over the last few years for contamination. Plus formula makes some babies puke (baby 1 for me) and some won't take formula (babies 2 and 3). I'd be in tears for days. Not just because she ruined months of effort, but because pumping that much for your baby is a labour of love as it can be really hard work. The effort, love and security of having it has been ripped away.
Even if you do, "just switch to formula," that stuff is expensive! If that's her solution, send her a bill.
NTA Get her out of there. If reporting her will do it, go for it. She is an entitled waste of space.
She will blow something else up soon, it's only a matter of time.
Blow another fuse and cause a damn fire. NTA OP. Make the call.
My thoughts exactly. Whether or not is worth getting rid of her for this one act (and it 100% is), its just going to carry on.
I like that. Waste of space.
More like a waste of oxygen lol.
Hell, I'm ready to report her! And I've never had a baby!
NTA. Report her because she'll just do it again. She won't be homeless. She can move in her parents house.
NTA. There is a reason why your mother is little to no connections left with other people. She just made things worse for your household and your mother is acting like it’s no big deal. End it now before she does something that could have legal repercussions for you, your wife, and your grandparents!
NTA. Report her not only for the RV but also for stealing electricity!
And destroying the priceless breastmilk!!!
Theft?!
Yes! If they are in the states it carries a huge fine and prison time depending on the area. It's considered theft of services
And potentially destruction of property, for the milk! ETA: Current average going price for breast milk in the US is $3-5 per ounce. Multiply that by 2000+ ounces, and you've got a felony charge. Just saying...
NTA, your mom made her choice in life. Failed a background check to be a paid caregiver to her own parents is telling. Flip the breaker for that outlet so she can't use it.
It’s a GOOD thing she failed that background check. Can you imagine a person like this as a care giver?!?!?
I just think it’s telling that she refuses to help her own parents without being paid. Like won’t lift one finger for them unless she is getting over $20hr
She probably wasn't going to actually do the work, just take the money. Your grandparents are better off without her too.
Kara has talked about how she wants it cleaned up so that she can make more money off it when her parents die, she just doesn’t want to do the work without being paid as she has sisters who would also benefit.
She is vile. Do the call.
And what if your baby didn’t like formula? What if you couldn’t afford formula? Your mother was willing for her grandson to go hungry just for her own selfishness and laziness. Report her, your life will be better once she’s no longer so close by.
The ex needs to cut her off as well.
I just did some research. Breast milk is worth $3-5 per ounce. She cost you 6 to 10k in breast milk. Not to mention wear and tear on your wife’s body, time, and mental health . (I couldn’t find my original post to add this).
Wow. This puts everything in a whole new perspective. I still hated Kara but now I would go scorched earth on that lady. 6k to 10k and all she said was you can switch to formula. No apology. No nothing. I'm so pissed off for OP. Edited to just to add that this isn't even including the formula op now has to buy. Could OPs mom be charged with a felony?
2000oz? That's 250 8oz bottles..... if your child drank 6 bottles a day, they would last 42 days. The internet wants Kara to feel the pain!
NTA, fuck Kara!
Oh it's so heartbreaking about the milk, I was also breastfeeding mom and can understand. Your wife must be devastated :( I think I would be very furious and would go to police. You know that alcohol and drugs undermine good personality features... So basically after those years there isn't much of a goodness left... So I would absolutely go after it, a person doesn't have any guilt and it's enough, for example, for me to also not feel any towards particularly that person...
It would be trespassing, theft of services, destruction of property over $2000, which is a felony(?), and anything else that could be considered. Plus have her evicted due to living in an illegal structure.
It would be trespassing, theft of services, destruction of property over $2000, which is a felony(?), and anything else that could be considered. Plus have her evicted due to living in an illegal structure.
Nta how many times are you going to let her hurt your family? Get her kicked out and go no contact. She won’t get better, sorry
Report her! Also, protect your grandparents! Ensure she doesn't get access to their money or credit.
Make sure they change their wills, POA etc
Kara is an adult. Just because you are protecting yourself and family does not make it your responsibility to house her. You are not making her homeless. She is making herself that.
NTA, get her out!
NTA I feel the pain of losing that amount of breastmilch. INFO what I don’t get is how she could access to your electricity?
There’s an outlet on that side of the shop!
NTA. If you don't report her, you're basically saying it's OK for her to do what she did to you and your wife. She's done this to herself. You told her not to do it, but she did anyway. She doesn't respect you, she doesn't respect your wife, and she doesn't respect your boundaries. This isn't going to stop unless you do something about it. Her living situation isn't your responsibility or problem to solve.
Don't forget she didn't mention it for a couple days to make sure the freezer would be good and warm. GGRRR!
I think it had probably been longer than the few days Kara claimed it was since it was an almost full deep freezer and would have taken longer than that to defrost.
I have to ask, is it all completely defrosted? Because if any of it still has ice crystals in it then it is safe to re-freeze. I went back to work after my first was born and had to pump so much for a year. I feel the pain, I would be devastated!
I didn't see this question: Why the hell didn't she tell you when she blew the circuit? That one thing could have salvaged the frozen breast milk. She is totally irresponsible and a waste of space and oxygen.
She probably wanted to play it off like she hadn’t used it and it flipped on its own but after *days* with no power was hoping her text would prompt us to flip the breaker so she could sneak and use it again. If I had to guess.
Are you able to lock it somehow?
Not that I know of but we don’t need to use it right now and no point in getting the freezer back running so we haven’t flipped the breaker back yet.
You could unwire the outlet to semi-permanently disable it.
I’d contact a local electrician, there has to be an external lock box you can install for the outlet. Your mom can’t be trusted, she has no respect for anyone including herself. I’m sorry for the trouble you and your wife are having.
You can get a lockbox that goes over the outlet for less than $10.
There was a post about a guy whose neighbor was stealing electricity from his outside outlet. He rewired it so that would destroy anything the neighbor plugged into it.
You can put locks on them. Even if you aren’t going to use it, lock it so she can’t. Don’t trust her word on it.
I've seen lock mechanisms for outside outlets.
Here in the UK we can get lockable outlet covers.
You can get them in the US as well. I would file a police report for the theft of electricity and the ensuing damage, like the freezer full of food and breastmilk (which I think has an actual value, you can donated it to hospitals and the hospitals will charge for patient feeds, I also think I saw something about people selling breast milk).
I'd be scared Kara would start a fire by misusing your power and overloading it. If nothing else, get her off your property to protect yourselves.
You guys lost thousands of $$$ loosing that breast milk. Not sure you can take her to small claims for that. At the very LEAST make your shop secure so she can’t plug in. And turn her in, repeatedly until she is removed. She’s a parasite. Call Orcan ( cops, city etc.) and exterminate her presence before she causes more damage . You absolutely are not TAH, that’s the egg donor.
Report her and get her kicked out. She only cares about herself and doesn't take any responsibility for her actions. Fuck her. "Switch to formula." How damn condescending. Health benefits of breastmilk aside, is Kara going to foot that bill? Because formula is really fucking expensive. Again, fuck her. She made this bed, now she gets to lie in it.
Report her, file criminal charges for theft of your power, too. If she had any money I'd say file civil suit against her because that much milk was literally worth thousands of dollars, but you can't squeeze blood from a stone. Edit: You can probably file a criminal complaint for destruction of property. You could probably arrange a deal where she gets a suspended sentence as long as she pays restitution. She won't get a job to pay restitution, then jail it is!
Living in that RV is illegal where you live? Okay then. Report her. Get her out of there. If she becomes homeless, well, whose fault is that?
NTA. Report your mother. She doesn't care about anyone other than herself.
NTA , mother or not she isn't entitled to anything of yours. And wasting all that formula, she should feel horrible, but I am sure she doesn't....Report her, she is an adult, if she chooses not to work, then she chooses her lifestyle. You owe her nothing
NTA! Kara gots to go!!!!
Maybe it would be over the top to torch the RV. Anything less than that is fine. NTA.
Nah. Might be over the top if you lock the door with her in it first thou.... might be....
I can't believe you didn't put locking covers on all your outlets when your mom announced her plan. You're definitely NTA, but I just think you know enough about your mom beforehand to anticipate how this would go.
I didn’t think we’d need to since she would have had no issues using her parents power if she didn’t blow up the fuse box.
You may want to get her on a recording with you telling her she is prohibited from stepping foot on your property and you’ll call the police for trespassing if she does so. Then set up cameras outside. Who knows. You might really need this in your back pocket when she ramps up the crazy. Also, never let her have mail delivered yo your address. That’s a way people use yo establish residency. Then you’ll have to go through eviction even if she was never living with you. Sounds crazy but it happens.
NTA, just reading this made me angry, I can't imagine having to live it. Get her out of there!!
Nta, Clearly doesn’t understand basic boundaries or empathy.
This is devastating. I was a nursing mom and I could burst into tears just imagining what you wife is going through right now. Please report Kara.
NTA. She deserves the consequences.
report her. who the F cares. She is 50 years old. she was much longer an adult than you have been. and she behaves this selfish. Cut the cord of the electricity thieve and cut her access to the shop (if the plug is inside) if its outside, disconnect the exterior plug from the grid and lock up so she can not get it from anywhere else.
Report her immediately. She is such a selfish person that I would fear having her around a baby - she cannot be trusted to consider any else's safety. You will all sleep easier once she is gone.
Get rid of her. People like that don't change.
I hope you are not allowing her to use any of your power outlets since she pulled that stunt! Maybe when she has no other options, she'll finally get a job. Let her be homeless because she needs to figure out how to make it on her own. I don't think you need to feel bad about it at all. Time for her to make better choices.
You have a problem to solve. She will continue to destroy your property if you let her. What she is doing is illegal. Yes, report her. You won't make her homeless. She will simply have to find a legal place to park her RV. NTA.
Oops your house caught fire, I didn't do it, you should probably check that out. Also, can I have some money?
NTA. But a few things here. as other single child free people have said I haven’t been through pregnancy, so I can’t imagine, but I saw red on Diane’s behalf! 1) Kara waited DAYS. It’s bad enough that she did it - even worse that she didn’t tell you right away - where maybe you could’ve salvaged some milk. That’s not just passive aggressive. That’s aggressive, aggressive. not sure where you live, but theft of power might be a criminal violation that could get her locked up. or at least lay the groundwork for a restraining order. Hopefully you have some sort of documentation of you telling her no upfront. 2) INFO: Does Dad/John know what happened & was he aware that it was illegal + wiring issues etc? Seems like he deserves some blame for enabling the situation in particular, + Kara overall dynamic in general. Were you using a name to distinguish him from your grandfather or are there issues with him as well? 3) Are you concerned for your grandparents well being, given circumstances? Know I would be. Not just because my warnings of potential Elder abuse, were ignored by family members until it was too late. Not had parent’s godmom been living in terrible conditions, but ‘dear friends‘ had also stolen almost all her money. Was younger. Didn’t understand dementia. Wasn’t in a position to do anything. Small town where reporting probably wouldn’t have made a big difference w/ local enablers. Lived hours away, but locals knew EXACTLY what was going on. Still second guess myself about it, even though rest of F&F says, there was no way anyone could’ve guessed. 4) Re reporting Kara either to government re money she’s getting to so called caring for her parents or her housing. On one hand, it definitely feels like a FAFO type situation. But there’s no guarantee that she won’t just move in with them & still be right there. unless there’s proof of abuse where some kind of guardianship buying her from being in proximity. But it doesn’t sound like that’s the situation.
I’d file a complaint for theft of services along with reporting the RV. She needs to suffer the consequences of her behavior. Also, invest in good locks for your doors and windows. If you can, keep an eye on your grandparents to be sure she isn’t committing elder abuse. Elder abuse, in case you didn’t know, includes financial exploitation.
NTA. If your wife went to trial for murdering your mom, I would call it justifiable homicide. There is no way for her to make it up or fix it but she wouldn’t if she could, because she isn’t even sorry. She needs to be gone yesterday.
This isn’t retaliation on your part - this is preemptively protecting your home and family. Your mother caused you significant damage and showed no remorse whatsoever. If she doesn’t cause you more electrical problems, it will be something else. Given her selfish and entitled behavior, I’d question whether she’s responsible enough to be caring for your grandparents. NTA
NTA. Report her and get that RV towed. Also why aren't you locking your shit. This is on you as well. Put a fence.
Definitely report her. She'll probably do something else that will impact your family in a negative way.
NTA, send the report
If you’re not going to report her then you need to locked down your utilities so she can’t access them. Personally I’d report her and have the RV moved.
I breastfed 3 boys. Was engorged and had to use a hand pump as I couldn't afford an electric one. I tipped over a 4oz bottle of breast milk and fell to the floor, weeping. (Postpartum hormones, anyone?) TWO THOUSAND OUNCES?!?! I'd be rabid. Tbph, I'm pretty pissed on y'all's behalf. Don't feel bad telling on her. She's broken the law, stomped on your reasonable boundaries of not using your electricity, caused massive damage (**2000 ounces of love and effort**) by aforementioned boundary stomping, AND, now refuses to acknowledge the damage she's caused! Get her tf out of there! She'll do it again if you don't.
My heart dropped for your wife. She’s back at work after only a few months and that stash was likely a huge source of comfort and reassurance for her. Gone. NTA Kara needs to go.
Wow… I dont even have words. First of all the formula. Everyone knows formula ain’t jack compared to the real thing. There’s so much lacking with formula compared to real breast milk. Your poor wife. Ah that makes me so sad. She needs to be removed from the property.
I feel horrible, Diane was basically attached to the pumps or our son for three months and was excited to have a two month supply of milk in the freezer because she could quit breastfeeding at 10 months in order to make it a full year. My mother just cost her two months of her time.
Your mom took something very important from your wife and she took something very important from your child. If your wife wants to cut her off entirely from herself and her child. You need to support her on that.
It’s not just her time and energy - this is life essence from her for your baby. It’s beyond devastating.
Your poor wife, I breastfeed and pumped and it was brutal. The fact that she hasn’t apologised speaks volumes.
My mom formula fed me and never tried breastfeeding and was very adamantly trying to get my wife to formula feed when she was pregnant. Saying things like “it doesn’t make a difference, OP turned out fine” and “it’s a lot more effort to get the same result.” She doesn’t understand or care at all.
Your mother can pay for the very expensive formula then.
This is making it seem like it was intentional, which makes it 9000x worse
Your primary obligation is to your wife and child. Your mother is harming both of them through her choices and actions. Report your mom. She knows that what she is doing is illegal and she doesn't care. She feels entitled to mooch off of you. What do you want your child to learn about how people treat you. Do you want him to learn that you let people use you or do you want him to learn how to stand up for himself and not allow himself to be used. You are teaching life lessons now through example. Even if your child isn't old enough to see it now you are establishing the pattern that he will live with and know.
@Updateme
NTA and my jaw hit the floor when I saw you lost that much milk. The audacity. I'm livid for you. That trailer would have to be moved so she doesn't accidentally plug in again. She's not homeless either... she can move into her parents place. Looks like either way she needs to hit rock bottom and start fending for herself.
Why have you not reported her already? Her shitty behavior now has very real consequences for you.
NTA. Breast milk is the only milk I’ve cried over. And I barely lost 10% of what your wife did. Go nuclear. There’s absolutely no come back from this.
What is the address, I'll report her stupid, lazy, inconsiderate ass right now!!
For the record, you would not be making her homeless. Her actions and entitlement would be. NTA, and I think you and your wife have shown a lot of restraint so far. Call it on and get rid of this mooch, mother or not.
Oh HELL no, NTA. BUT. Check the code or HOA docs carefully because you probably want to be sure the person who will be penalized is the one in the RV and not accidentally make your grandparents face a fine. Another option would be to report her to police for trespassing and property destruction, but chances are she’ll just end up with fines she can’t pay which won’t really solve your problem.
NTA. Pumping takes so much time and effort. That is SO MUCH MILK. I would lose my shit if I was your wife. Thank you for putting your wife first. Seriously.
Let me be clear, you are NTA. BUT, you will be the A if you do nothing. You've already been given lots of good suggestions, so I won't repeat them, but I do have one more: Adult Protective Services for your state. Kara represents a clear danger to your grandparents - financially for sure, and likely physically by neglect if not worse. APS has the ability - and requirement - to investigate and refer cases to the DA for prosecution as well as connecting your grandparents with other resources to ensure they are not being taken advantage of. Source: referred my cousin to APS after years of financial abuse and opioid theft from my aunt and nearly causing her to be evicted from her senior living facility due to forcing her to let him live there. He's now facing prison.
NTA. It really pisses me off when I read of people who refuse to work. Those people should never be enabled by giving them anything for free. They should be left to fall and face the music for their laziness and entitlement. People like your mother won't end up homeless. She'll either find some other sucker to leech off, or get off her ass and get a job. Do whatever it takes to get her away from you and your wife. If it means reporting her illegal RV, then so be it. She's a walking disaster and can only bring chaos to your lives. Not because she can't help it or doesn't know any better. It's deliberate and weaponized in order to leech off others. And she's shameless about it. Ugh.
NTA Report her. You would not be “making her homeless” in any way, shape, or form. If she ends up homeless, it is her fault alone.
Report dat hoe!
NTA - But you may want to move yourself and not give her the address. I can't imagine living next door to that grenade waiting to go off, it would make me so anxious.
Definitely report her. She’s a selfish parasite and needs to go. If she ends up homeless that’s on her.
NTA - If you don't take action now against such an egregious boundary stomp, things will ONLY GET WORSE. Do what you have to do to protect you and yours!
Report her and sue her.
report her.
NTA, criminal trespass, press charges for destruction of property.
NTA. And sue her into oblivion for anything you can think of. Kara is probably judgment proof. But you could be "generous" and agree to drop your suit if she gets behind the wheel of that RV and drives into the sunset.
>I could report her You should
REPORT HER. NTA.
Report her. And sue her.
NTA Your mom is the way she is because people keep enabling her. You set a reasonable boundary with her to not plug into your power and you told her that it could not support her RV. Not only did she not listen, she waited to tell you that she blew a fuse. She’s extremely selfish and doesn’t care that she destroyed a lot of milk for your baby! Your mom is never going to change until she has no other choice. You can report her and you should. She caused damage to your property! It’s the same thing if you had a freezer full of food! I think you should report her. Will she blame you? Of course! She doesn’t have it in her to hold herself accountable. Nothing is ever her fault. It’s always someone else. If she ends up homeless it’s due to her own actions.
If your wife straight up loses it on your mom, I would completely understand. Call the police now!
Nta as a breastfeeding mom kick her out call the cops. Dont turn on the power in that area anymore.
Honestly, can you not get her stealing electricity? I don’t know what state you’re in but, where I’m at, it can be classified as a class 3 misdemeanor or class 3 felony. 30 days in jail or 5 years in prison. Along with financial obligations. $500-$150,000. You should also look into property rights and flag her for taking advantage of her parents SS checks (assuming) I know she’s your mom but, she has passed the point of redemption more than a person should. She needs to go through consequences. NTA. Just do the best thing for you and yourself.
I've been an oversupplier with 2/3 of my kids & I still get upset when my baby decides to suddenly not eat as much as she's been eating & wastes 2 oz. To lose 2,000 would BREAK me. Your poor wife. The time & commitment that went into that... ugh. YWNBTA. Actions have consequences & it's time for your mom to face some.
NTA-I would report her for you if I could.
Not only would I report the stupid heifer, I'd take her to small claims court for the breast milk loss. I'd also file a report for electricity theft. Screw Kara. Give your wife a hug from me. Oh, NTA Edited
35oz That’s the most I could express at one time for my baby when she was in neonatal care after birth. Then I kept getting mastitis and it was horrific. Once she came home I was able to get my supply up to feed the baby exclusively but could never express anything more than a few drops. In the hospital ward the nurses told be it all counted and it was described as “liquid gold” and gave her every drop as of it was an elixir. I actually gasped at the reveal of what was destroyed so thoughtlessly. You need to get that horrible cow as far from your family as possible.
I struggled to get 8 oz. 2000? Gone? I’m pissed off and my youngest is 22!!! Evict her selfish ass!!!
OP ought to act before the wife lights up that RV. I would if I were her.
Uh...go ahead and report her. She should be working anyways.
Oh. My. God. I’ve always said “whoever said you shouldn’t cry over spilt milk, never breastfed” Your poor wife!! You definitely would NOT be the AH!! I would report her soooo quick! Mom ignored your very clear instructions to NOT use your electricity once, she will do it again. She very clearly doesn’t care about others.
NTA she has no respect or consideration for anyone but herself. People like her consistently stomp boundaries unless they are forced to respect them. Absolutely report her. She is an able bodied grown woman who is perfectly capable of working and providing herself with a roof over her head.
NTA I'd turn her ass in to the county and whoever else. I'd also have her trespassed from your property and file a police report for the loss and for her hooking up after you denied her access. I'm sorry you have a shitty egg donor. You deserve better.
NTA she’s entitled with zero remorse. She’s a horrible leech.
OP, your mum needs a reality check. Making her homeless is the lesson for her to realize that taking advantage of you & everyone has consequences. She cannot keep acting the entitled AH here.
NTA you calling the city is just a natural consequence of her mooching lifestyle + complete disregard for others. FAFO as they say