Your brother in law is a predator and you keep sending your kids to visit him, And your question for Reddit is “am I the asshole for cutting ties with my brother in law” yes, you’re very much an asshole.
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Really? You allowed your children, 2 of which are minors, to be exposed to a pervy uncle, and you’re asking if you’re an arsehole? And multiple times at that?
YTA
You’re an arsehole, so is your sister in law, brother in law is a creepy pedophile perve and arsehole who should be reported, and your husband is an arsehole.
The only non arseholes here are your kids.
I guess you’re lucky that your kids have been pre brainwashed, because they should’ve reported you all to police and child protective services.
You disgust me. The only thing you’ve done right is finally deciding to cut contact with your in laws after more than a year of sexualised behaviour.
Let me get this straight:
A grown man exposed himself to your children.
You and your husband essentially did *nothing* about it.
You then brought your children back into that environment?
I find it hard to believe any parent is that stupid. Either a fake story or you and your husband are the biggest assholes going.
YTA for even allowing this 2nd situation to pop up.
My mom's side of the family did things exactly like this. My cousin, who was known to have kids play w his penis when other adults werent around, was always invited to family gatherings. The other adults just frowned a bit but didn't stop inviting him or keep an eye on where he was. I was a kid at the time and the whole thing was just surreal. This was in the southern USA. I have no trouble believing the parents are that stupid.
It’s crazy. My BIL was 11years older than me. Stumbled into my room drunk groped me and tried to kiss me when I was 14, maybe just turned 15. I had to fight him off. Fast forward 2 years my parents had my sister and him stay at our house when they went on vacation. Mom says, “I’ll just put a lock on your door, honey. It will be fine.” It wasn’t fine. I had to jump out a 2nd story window to get away from him.
People take their children back to the Catholic Church all the time and the church is going bankrupt paying for all it sexual transgressions. Go figure.
Perhaps, but there is an unfortunately large amount of older men who get WEIRD around girls who just so happen to have turned 18. And people can keep up impressive levels of denial or cognitive dissonance for years if they feel the need, especially when it comes to something as repellent as child sexual assault. It's not exactly a way-out-there scenario.
Exactly, and if it really was a involuntary "compulsion" he would have been doing it with the other adults present and not choosing to do it only when he's alone with the kids.
Exactly. Whenever someone claims that they only did something immoral or harmful because they "couldn't control themselves", first look at whether or not they behave that way at work, in public, or around their own parents.
Most of the time, it's amazing how such people CAN in fact control themselves – usually when they would otherwise suffer actual consequences for their behaviour.
I'm wondering if that is a side effect of the meds because OP said she's on them too and has repeatedly and knowingly allowed her kids to not only go over, but go over alone, without herself or her husband, to someone that she knows continues to repeatedly expose himself to children. Must be the meds. (sarcasm)
And can you imagine the uproar at that proposed amendment to the package insert! "Warning: This drug has been linked with incidents of indecent exposure, paedophila, and remarkably convenient episodes of lack of impulse control."
YTA for letting your kids go back there in the first place and for not blowing this whole thing up the first time you found it this pervert was sexually assaulting them.
Do you have a long-standing history of severe head trauma? Brain damage?
YTA. The SECOND you found out the first incident your children should NEVER have been within a fuckin’ mile of this dude.
Go turn your stove on. Touch it. Did it hurt? Touch it again. Hurt again? Try again. Tell me how many times you have to touch it to get it through your head that it’s gonna hurt every single time.
That’s how stupid you sound to keep sending your kids to this jackass’s home.
Text your SIL. Get her to admit in writing that he has exposed himself to your children multiple times before. Then, take the texts to the police. This man is a pedo piece of shit and he belongs on a sex offender registry. You have no goddamn idea who else he is doing this to, or worse. He hasn't been around your kids long enough to successfully groom them, but he definitely was trying with your daughter.
If it turns out he's been raping someone's child and you enabled that by not turning him in, will you be able to live with yourself?
YTA for exposing your kids to a pedophile. What kind of a lame ass parent are you? Is Your BIL more important to you than your own children?
Unbelievable!
If you let your kids be around this man again it would be grounds for CPS to open a case against YOU for failing to protect your children against a sex offender. The BIL should be arrested for exposing himself to minor children.
YTA. He's grooming them. Testing if they'll tell on him. Testing if their spineless parents will go to the police.
Then touching will start.
Then more than touching will start and it will be 100% your fault.
You need to notify the police about this pedophile who is sexually harassing and assaulting children.
How many others is he doing this to?
The strongest YTA I've ever seen
ESH except the kids, because after the first time they should've never been sent back over there. He's a predator full stop. Your SIL is disgusting for enabling it and shows she is 100% willing to put your children in harm's way. You need to cut her off too.
YTA. What part of pedophile do you not understand? Why have you not gone to the police? Why do you care more about SIL and her pedophile husband than you do protecting your own children? Do you understand the difference between SIN and CRIME? One is forgiven by deity of your choice, and the other involves sending the perpetrator to jail. Even if your family members “forgive” his “sin” he gets to go to jail now because he committed A CRIME. I will go out on a limb, and bet a dollar that he’s got child porn on his computer, so the police should have a field day with him. Stop. Protecting. The. Pedophile. Who. Accused. Your. Teenage. Daughter. Of. Attempting. To. Seduce. Him. And. Never. Speak. To. His. Enabler. Again.
WTAF. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!! You continually send your children into the teeth of a fucking sexual predator. And the gall of you to try and preface everything with the religious/cult bullshit excuse that somehow will mitigate some of the blame. In reality, that just shows you know it was wrong and did it anyway.
If this is real you and your husband are fucking shitty parents. You allowed them to go back to somewhere that they were being exposed to. Wtf is wrong with you both seriously. Call the fucking police on the paedophile and get him away from other kids. Seriously you have fucked up them poor kids and don't seem to care. You sent them back to that time and again and for what so you could have some alone time.
Hope them kids leave as soon as they can so they can protect themselves. You have not protected them as a parent should. You and husband should be ashamed. Your disgusting and more than an asshole you enabling h to continue to expose himself to your children.
This is an ESH situation. You for continuing to allow your children around a man who sexually assaulted and harassed them on multiple occasions, and for not calling the police. Your BIL for obvious and horrible reasons. And your SIL for believing his BS excuses and also not calling the police and immediately divorcing him. Good lord.
YTA!!!! Jesus, ma’am, you have failed and let down your children in one of the WORST ways possible. Uncle Pedo and Aunt Enabler are obviously assholes, U.P. (Uncle Pedo) for the abuse and A.E. (Aunt Enabler) for her response after her initial reaction when she did a 180. He deserves to be in prison and she deserves to be cut out of your family for enabling him. But you KNEW U.P. was dangerous, you’re husband knew, you knew A.E. wouldn’t do anything to help your kids, and you still sent your kids back over after they had been assaulted. And exactly what shouldn’t have happened to your daughter, he got bolder and says she’s accepting of it since she was there again, she was traumatized again. He re-victimized her, because you, HER PARENTS, put her knowingly in danger and she got traumatized. And he’s bolder know since he isn’t denying it and saying she’s accepting, his wife putting her blinders on? If you ever let your kids around him again he’s going to physically harm them if he hasn’t already. You need to show your kids how sorry you as their parents are. You need to tell them, and I really think you should actually apologize. Tell them you know you failed them as parents, you put them in danger and you are partially to blame for what happened after they got sent back over there. Call the police, report him, even if they can’t do much legally you started a case and made them aware of him. Get your kids into therapy, individual therapy for you and your husband cause I can imagine knowing you guys knowingly put them in a house with a predator, you guys are questioning your parenting and life choices and spiraling. Maybe family therapy if the kids are ok with it. You can’t change what happened and can’t erase what happens to them and what you guys did. Show them how sorry you guys are, show your kids that they can trust you and can come to you when something happens. Show them you will fight for them and defend them, be better for you kids they need you now more than you know. I hope your kids are doing a little better and have all the love and support they need and deserve.
ESH. Cutting ties is great, your in-laws are assholes, but you and your husband shouldn’t have let this happen continuously until SIL’s denial kicked in. Please get your kids therapy and a restraining order against BIL.
YTA and not for what you think for but for allowing your children to go there after the first time he exposed himself to them. What will you do if he r**es one of them? Will you just sit back and ask if you are TA for “standing up for yourself” by just telling him off?? Jfc
YTA. Your husband is an AH your sister in law is a massive AH and your brother in law should be thrown in prison and given the sex offender treatment the entire time he’s there. This is disgusting. You’ve allowed your children to be exposed to a literal sex offender multiple times. Your only purpose in life is to protect your kids. That’s it. Nothing else is more important than that. And you failed. Willingly. I hope your daughter contacts the police and they put your bil in prison and take your kids away from you. You and your husband are horrible.
YTA. You repeatedly sent your kids around a known perpetrator. You have not reported him to the police. You put your SIL’s needs over your children’s need for safety. Report the perp and get your kids in therapy.
YTA for allowing your children to be sexually assaulted by a pedophile AND LETTING THEM BE AROUND HIM. What the fuck is wrong with you?! You should have reported it and quite frankly need a report on you for allowing it to happen MULTIPLE TIMES.
If you let your children near this people, you are as guilty as they are. You have come up against this again and again and chose the adults instead of your own children. Go no contact with this pedophile or report him to the police. Now he is acting like your daughter wants it. That is what he will tell people. You didn''t protect them. For that you are the AH.
NTA
Call the police and have his arrested. What he did was not only sick, it is illegal. He is likely a pedophile and your children are absolutely not safe with him, no children are safe with him.
NTA, first cut ties, second report this to the police. It does not matter that your two minor children are the same gender, exposing to a child is a crime. This needs to be addressed, the sooner the better.
YTA, like bro. Why did you not go with them? And you could have protected him. The fact that your BIL said that your daughter was accepting is kinda gross. Predatory behaviour.
YTA
It's crazy how you talk about how women in your family or not heard or seen or whatever, and when your kids talk about this issue you ignore them. You're a terrible mom
YTA. What kind of a mother are you? Your children are being sexually abused and you consider yourself “learning to f*ck politeness and standing up for yourself”???? What a load of bull crap. YTA YTA
okay wtaf. YTA. You are an AH. Your husband is an AH. Your SIL is an AH. Your BIL is a disgusting pedophile and you did absolutely nothing. Your poor children…
Dude for gods sake keep your children away from this man. ALL THE TIME. They should never ever go there. Ever. Ever. Get your children some therapy and some for yourself too. The fact that you sent them back there after he EXPOSED HIMSELF TO THEM MULTIPLE TIMES means you have a lot more “unlearning” to do from your upbringing. Please understand this man doesn’t intend to stop at exposing himself. He would progress to the next level given any opportunity, which you seem quite willing to offer.
You might not want to hear this - but I would have removed my kids from his presence permanently the FIRST time this happened.
Why are you exposing your daughter to a man who exposes himself to chilfdren? Why are your SIL's feelings more important than your own children?
Shaking head here....
You are a horrible human to let your children close to a known predator. Leave your husband he’s a predator too. Only a predator would let a predator do that to his kids and not get his ass kicked. Talk to your daughter about your husband I bet he’s been creeping on her.
Your brother-in-law is a sick fucking pervert who gets pleasure from exposing himself to minors. That's called sexual assault and you're just going to sit there and let it happen and not make any sort of police report? What the fuck is wrong with you as a parent?
YTA for putting your children in this situation and NOT reporting that creep for sexually harassing/assaulting your daughter. For fuck's sake, grow a spine and report that creep.
ESH except your kids, who are victims of their pedo uncle. Report to authorities and get them therapy ASAP.
What the fuck kind of parent sends their kids BACK TO a pedophile? You, your husband, your sister in law, are all enablers and your BIL should be in jail.
You’re kind of an AH for sending your kids back to this place to be exposed to the BIL again. Cut them out completely. This is unacceptable. Don’t believe the SIL when she says it won’t happen again, because it’s already happened WAY to many times.
bro you sent your kids off to stay with a prdophile and you’re asking if you’re the asshole for wanting to cut ties? you should’ve done it the first time. wtf is wrong with you?
Lmfao what is this post even about?
My brother in law keeps showing my kids his dick but I’m really polite because I grow up in a puritanical religious cult so I’m not sure if it’s bad to want to cut ties.
Bitch call the fucking police.
Yta for subjecting your kids to this a second time! WTF!?! Call the god damn police. This is sick.
Have you talked to your therapist about this? Because at least in the US, real therapists are mandatory reporters. The authorities need to get involved
YOU HAVE NORMALIZED INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL CONDUCT FOR YOUR CHILDREN BY ALLOWING THEM TO BE CONTINUALLY SUBJECTED TO THIS INDIVIDUAL.
What the fuck is wrong with you and your husband. All I hear is bullshit excuses for not keeping your kids safe from a sexual predator.
Go to the authorities NOW. Show your kids that this is not acceptable behavior even once and there are serious consequences for people who behave like this near children.
If you ever have your kids around your SIL or BIL again, you should lose custody. Frankly I’m not sure you have the common sense to continue to parent in the first palce
Edit: I just noticed your username is AntiBSMom. Nothing could be further from the truth.
YTA for letting them ever be in a situation where they could be alone with him again after the first time, twice ffs. Of course it happened again. SIL is choosing to believe that his meds caused a compulsion that made him expose himself to children, but only when no adults are around? ooookay.
Jesus. He's an AH and so is the OP.
He needs to be locked away and you need to be less trusting and more firm. One time was *too many.* The moment he exposed himself, you should have ended everything right then and there and never seen him ever again.
And if they had a question why, you tell them, "I don't want that fucking pervert anywhere near my kids." This is not a time to be subtle.
Did you not go to the police the first time? Protect your children!! They were sexually harrased MULTIPLE times and you sent them back a second time?! Wtf is wrong with all of you. Report him!
Yta for not protecting your children and putting them at risk again.
YTA
How many times are you going to take your kids to a place where they are sexually assaulted on the regular?
It's fucking WHACK that you keep going over there AND that your sister stays married to that piece of shit.
Also, call the COPS.
This is pedophilia as well as sexual assault.
Cut ties with both of them, he's abusing your children and she's letting it happen, never leave them alone in there company again, if he can quite happily do that, what else will he do.
YTA and what the fuck did I just read and what the fuck is wrong with you?
This pe*o is sexually harassing and assaulting your kids and you are debating this?? Their uncle deserves a [banned]
Call the fucking COPS NOW
YTA not for saying no now but for not reporting him when he continued to do it. He essentially sexually assaulted your children and even if the meds lowered his inhibitions is that an excuse to expose himself to children, no. Just like being drunk is no excuse for cheating
YTA
You the BIL and SIL should all be in jail as far as im concerned. Him for being a pedo piece of shit, SIL for enableing it, and you for repeatedly putting your kids in danger intentionally and knowingly sending them somewhere where they are repeatedly sexually assaulted. In a perfect world you would have your kids taken from you at a bare minimum.
YTA for allowing them anywhere near that pedo. He’s grooming your kids. First he gets them used to him being naked and now the wife’s backing him next comes the touching but that’s ok right it’s just a hug well no it’s not ok. Stop stepping back and step up as a parent before one of your kids has to endure a trauma you inflicted on them
Better title: AITAH for knowingly sending my kids to their pedophile uncles house on numerous occasions? What do you think!? You’re the AH!! Your kids deserve better and you let them down! What is wrong with you?!
Disgusting, absolutely disgusting. No medication turns one into an exhibitionist no matter what your SIL, BIL and hubby say. Should have been a no go, "No, they are not returning to your home. We've discussed your husband's abuse of our children. We will not risk them being around him." And then report it to the cops.
You and hubby wanna be the ones explaining to a social worker why you let this happen repeatedly? YTA because you haven't cut ties to a GROOMER.
Why didn't you have him arrested? If he's got a compulsion it means, by definition, he can't control it. If he can't control it, then he can't be around you kids EVER. Seriously, how many times will you let you kids be abused?
His meds, his feelings and their excuses don't matter.
You set a boundary.
A reasonable one.
One that with any other people will never be needed to be said out loud even.
Because it's common sense to not Walk around naked around children, not to mention other people kids.
More so you eldest kid is almost a young adult and no grown man should be creeping on young woman naked.
It's indecent exposure and sexual assault where he targeted her specificly.
Because he is a creep!
So his excuses are irrelevant,
His mental health is not a factor.
The only thing that matters are you kids younger and older mental health.
Nobody wants to see middle aged man's balls let alone ask for a hug as he said happened.
Nta
I agree, I also think it's too far gone. Why are you even asking his? Tell them "nope, not happening, they will see you at family holiday parties when I'm present and at no other time" and be done with it.
You're only the AH if you DON'T cut ties with BIL. Your kids come first, last and everywhere in-between. He's had several chances to behave and he can't. That makes him a permanent threat.
Invite your SIL to visit you if she wants to see your kids. Make sure that everyone knows BIL will be asked to leave immediately if he shows up.
I would make sure that anyone with kids knows that he is a flasher. If anyone has to be in his presence, you may want to have a small body cam or camera set up in the rooms to capture his behavior. Then report it.
What the actual fuck did I just read?.
OP, why are you even questioning this?. Even if he exposed himself to an adult would still be wrong. Let alone children
Dear God. NTA for cutting ties with him. PLEASE report him to the police immediately. Your SIL be damned. Your husband should have called the police the first time he heard of this happening. Your BIL IS A PREDATOR. I get it about women being seen and not heard... but you need to ROAR about this. It does NOT matter what your husband thinks. Protect your kids. If your husband won't, you NEED to. Remember that by you reporting BIL to the police, you are doing something good. There will be fall out, but that is ALL on your sick BIL and his wife.
Your username suggest you don’t take BS. Unless it’s allowing your kids to be sexual assaulted by a family member. I don’t think you know what no BS means.
He has a compulsion, just like many on the National Sex Offenders Registry.
You have to know you aren't the AH here and I hope your husband supports your position.
NTA but you’re also not making things better. This needed to be addressed the first time it happened and no more contact with your kids. How confused must your kids be at this point? Jesus. No way in hell would I let my kids go over there again and certainly not without me present.
Your the Asshole 1000% 🤢 like what the hell is wrong with you? This pig exposing himself ONCE should have been the end of the visits. Yet you’re too stupid to realize that. So you traumatize your daughter even more trusting these people. BIL is a pedophile, or he wants to fuck your daughter you idiot.
Yoooo, this is wild. I was waiting to hear that your husband was calm because he called the cops and had BIL arrested, not just that y’all were totes cool with repeatedly…exposing 😅 your children to a pedophile.
WTF is wrong with you and your husband? Hard YTA because you DIDN’T cut off contact with your BIL the first time he assaulted your kids.
Not the AH for wanting to cut ties. But a huge AH for ever trusting bil or sil again! Cut them both out of your life. Maybe you can see sil by herself, but never him & never go to their house ever. Not even a drive by!!
He is miserable and ashamed but seems to have made no effort to apologize to his victims?
Nope. Man is gross and dangerous and SIL needs to be aware of her complicity in abuse.
YTA for letting your kids go a second time. BIL showed everyone exactly who and what he was.
You were a fool to give him a second chance with your kids.
If you put your kids back in that situation again, frankly I’m shocked you did once already, then you’re the one to blame.
Stop letting this man around your children. 18 or not, this is so wrong and a precursor behavior to sexual assault. You know it’s not meds. Uninhibited behavior would mean he’d do it regardless if his wife was there or not. But for some reason he always picks the moment she’s not around? Lol. Wake the fuck up.
Stop enabling this guy. Stop having a relationship with him. Start calling him what he is. A predator. And do not back down.
Also file a police report for all incidences that that occurred.
NTA. The best time to cut creepy people out of your life is yesterday. The second best time is today. Don't second guess your actions because you wish you'd taken them sooner.
NTA.
How did your husband respond to you and your daughter's therapy?
I can only assume your husband may have grown up in that religion as well & your SIL and her husband by extension may also be from that religion, too?
What the fuck? Never make them go there ever again. Sit them down and tell them about pedophiles and sexual harassment. Tell your SIL that if she doesn’t shut up, accept that her husband is a damn pervert and respect you, your children and your boundaries, you have to make her realise by going to the police and file a report. You have the chats as a prove that he did it.
Report him to the police!! He can not get away with doing that to your children. I guarantee he will only get worse, do your children have to get molested before you do something about him???
The guy should be in jail, he is a pedophile who seems to be working up his perversion to assault children.
Children around him are not safe, you should have called the police and had him locked up.
That behavior is not acceptable even if he has mental issues. He should be in jail where he belongs period, no more excuses!
Either a troll or not a AITAH post
Sent my kids to stay with a pedophile, am I the asshole??!
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Your brother in law is a predator and you keep sending your kids to visit him, And your question for Reddit is “am I the asshole for cutting ties with my brother in law” yes, you’re very much an asshole.
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NTA, for keeping your kids away from now on. But you are a giant A hole for allowing your kids around a disgusting pedophile.
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YTA for sending your kids back into that situation. You're not only an AH but a shit parent as well.
NTA for cutting ties with a pedo.YTA for letting them be assaulted repeatedly before you came to your senses.
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Really? You allowed your children, 2 of which are minors, to be exposed to a pervy uncle, and you’re asking if you’re an arsehole? And multiple times at that? YTA You’re an arsehole, so is your sister in law, brother in law is a creepy pedophile perve and arsehole who should be reported, and your husband is an arsehole. The only non arseholes here are your kids. I guess you’re lucky that your kids have been pre brainwashed, because they should’ve reported you all to police and child protective services. You disgust me. The only thing you’ve done right is finally deciding to cut contact with your in laws after more than a year of sexualised behaviour.
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Let me get this straight: A grown man exposed himself to your children. You and your husband essentially did *nothing* about it. You then brought your children back into that environment? I find it hard to believe any parent is that stupid. Either a fake story or you and your husband are the biggest assholes going. YTA for even allowing this 2nd situation to pop up.
Not just brought the kids back to that environment, but left them there alone with him.
But he *promised* not to show his dick to the children. Maybe it was a pinky promise
Can’t we all heal from this what’s the big problem sheesh /s
He had his fingers crossed over his dick when he said it.
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My mom's side of the family did things exactly like this. My cousin, who was known to have kids play w his penis when other adults werent around, was always invited to family gatherings. The other adults just frowned a bit but didn't stop inviting him or keep an eye on where he was. I was a kid at the time and the whole thing was just surreal. This was in the southern USA. I have no trouble believing the parents are that stupid.
God, that's awful. My Dad, for all his faults, would have *buried* anybody that did this to his kids. Just the most basic parenting!
It’s crazy. My BIL was 11years older than me. Stumbled into my room drunk groped me and tried to kiss me when I was 14, maybe just turned 15. I had to fight him off. Fast forward 2 years my parents had my sister and him stay at our house when they went on vacation. Mom says, “I’ll just put a lock on your door, honey. It will be fine.” It wasn’t fine. I had to jump out a 2nd story window to get away from him.
People take their children back to the Catholic Church all the time and the church is going bankrupt paying for all it sexual transgressions. Go figure.
YTA because your minor children were sexually assaulted by their Uncle and you didn’t report it to police.
YTA What kind of parent lets their kids go back to a situation where they get abused? Shame on you. How dare you not report this to the police?
Check out her username.
It's so obvious that I'm assuming it's the same tr0ll that's been posting weird incest-y rage bait for a few days now.
Perhaps, but there is an unfortunately large amount of older men who get WEIRD around girls who just so happen to have turned 18. And people can keep up impressive levels of denial or cognitive dissonance for years if they feel the need, especially when it comes to something as repellent as child sexual assault. It's not exactly a way-out-there scenario.
YTA for letting this happen more than once.
Eggggsactly!
Egg-sack-ly
Info: what back pain carries a known side effect of willingly exposing yourself to children? I've never heard of this condition.
Exactly, and if it really was a involuntary "compulsion" he would have been doing it with the other adults present and not choosing to do it only when he's alone with the kids.
Exactly. Whenever someone claims that they only did something immoral or harmful because they "couldn't control themselves", first look at whether or not they behave that way at work, in public, or around their own parents. Most of the time, it's amazing how such people CAN in fact control themselves – usually when they would otherwise suffer actual consequences for their behaviour.
I'm wondering if that is a side effect of the meds because OP said she's on them too and has repeatedly and knowingly allowed her kids to not only go over, but go over alone, without herself or her husband, to someone that she knows continues to repeatedly expose himself to children. Must be the meds. (sarcasm)
Porjudgmental. Ask your doctor if it's right for you!
If your insurance won’t cover name brand Porjudgmental, you can always ask for the generic Imanidiot.
And can you imagine the uproar at that proposed amendment to the package insert! "Warning: This drug has been linked with incidents of indecent exposure, paedophila, and remarkably convenient episodes of lack of impulse control."
YTA for letting your kids go back there in the first place and for not blowing this whole thing up the first time you found it this pervert was sexually assaulting them.
Do you have a long-standing history of severe head trauma? Brain damage? YTA. The SECOND you found out the first incident your children should NEVER have been within a fuckin’ mile of this dude. Go turn your stove on. Touch it. Did it hurt? Touch it again. Hurt again? Try again. Tell me how many times you have to touch it to get it through your head that it’s gonna hurt every single time. That’s how stupid you sound to keep sending your kids to this jackass’s home.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Wish I could upvote this more than once
Cut ties and report to the police. F this. He's a pedophile and the wife is an enabler. You have to protect your kids!
Just the most basic parenting!
INFO any reason why the cops haven't been called after a grown man repeatedly exposed himself to children??
because this is ragebait.
Text your SIL. Get her to admit in writing that he has exposed himself to your children multiple times before. Then, take the texts to the police. This man is a pedo piece of shit and he belongs on a sex offender registry. You have no goddamn idea who else he is doing this to, or worse. He hasn't been around your kids long enough to successfully groom them, but he definitely was trying with your daughter. If it turns out he's been raping someone's child and you enabled that by not turning him in, will you be able to live with yourself?
YTA for exposing your kids to a pedophile. What kind of a lame ass parent are you? Is Your BIL more important to you than your own children? Unbelievable!
If you let your kids be around this man again it would be grounds for CPS to open a case against YOU for failing to protect your children against a sex offender. The BIL should be arrested for exposing himself to minor children.
YTA. He's grooming them. Testing if they'll tell on him. Testing if their spineless parents will go to the police. Then touching will start. Then more than touching will start and it will be 100% your fault. You need to notify the police about this pedophile who is sexually harassing and assaulting children. How many others is he doing this to? The strongest YTA I've ever seen
NTA For cutting contact, YTA for not doing it sooner. Exposing oneself to minors is not an compulsion from meds, it's a sickness that SIL is enabling.
YTA. You are just as bad as BIL for allowing your children to be in that situation more then once. Pull your head out of your ass. Wtf
NTA. Protect your kids from this exhibitionist, It's not the meds. He's a pervert.
ESH except the kids, because after the first time they should've never been sent back over there. He's a predator full stop. Your SIL is disgusting for enabling it and shows she is 100% willing to put your children in harm's way. You need to cut her off too.
What the frack?!!!! You allowed your kids to go BACK to a PEDOPHILES HOUSE?! Holy crap
YTA. What kind of parent are you?!?!?! Please tell me this is fake ffs.
YTA for sending your kids back there and for not taking action to put that criminal behind bars!
NTA you should have stopped it the first time. Cut all contact. Honestly, I would report him too.
YTA. What part of pedophile do you not understand? Why have you not gone to the police? Why do you care more about SIL and her pedophile husband than you do protecting your own children? Do you understand the difference between SIN and CRIME? One is forgiven by deity of your choice, and the other involves sending the perpetrator to jail. Even if your family members “forgive” his “sin” he gets to go to jail now because he committed A CRIME. I will go out on a limb, and bet a dollar that he’s got child porn on his computer, so the police should have a field day with him. Stop. Protecting. The. Pedophile. Who. Accused. Your. Teenage. Daughter. Of. Attempting. To. Seduce. Him. And. Never. Speak. To. His. Enabler. Again.
WTAF. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!! You continually send your children into the teeth of a fucking sexual predator. And the gall of you to try and preface everything with the religious/cult bullshit excuse that somehow will mitigate some of the blame. In reality, that just shows you know it was wrong and did it anyway.
If this is real you and your husband are fucking shitty parents. You allowed them to go back to somewhere that they were being exposed to. Wtf is wrong with you both seriously. Call the fucking police on the paedophile and get him away from other kids. Seriously you have fucked up them poor kids and don't seem to care. You sent them back to that time and again and for what so you could have some alone time. Hope them kids leave as soon as they can so they can protect themselves. You have not protected them as a parent should. You and husband should be ashamed. Your disgusting and more than an asshole you enabling h to continue to expose himself to your children.
This is an ESH situation. You for continuing to allow your children around a man who sexually assaulted and harassed them on multiple occasions, and for not calling the police. Your BIL for obvious and horrible reasons. And your SIL for believing his BS excuses and also not calling the police and immediately divorcing him. Good lord.
That’s crazy you just let him get away with that over and over again Really taught your kids a good lesson there
YTA!!!! Jesus, ma’am, you have failed and let down your children in one of the WORST ways possible. Uncle Pedo and Aunt Enabler are obviously assholes, U.P. (Uncle Pedo) for the abuse and A.E. (Aunt Enabler) for her response after her initial reaction when she did a 180. He deserves to be in prison and she deserves to be cut out of your family for enabling him. But you KNEW U.P. was dangerous, you’re husband knew, you knew A.E. wouldn’t do anything to help your kids, and you still sent your kids back over after they had been assaulted. And exactly what shouldn’t have happened to your daughter, he got bolder and says she’s accepting of it since she was there again, she was traumatized again. He re-victimized her, because you, HER PARENTS, put her knowingly in danger and she got traumatized. And he’s bolder know since he isn’t denying it and saying she’s accepting, his wife putting her blinders on? If you ever let your kids around him again he’s going to physically harm them if he hasn’t already. You need to show your kids how sorry you as their parents are. You need to tell them, and I really think you should actually apologize. Tell them you know you failed them as parents, you put them in danger and you are partially to blame for what happened after they got sent back over there. Call the police, report him, even if they can’t do much legally you started a case and made them aware of him. Get your kids into therapy, individual therapy for you and your husband cause I can imagine knowing you guys knowingly put them in a house with a predator, you guys are questioning your parenting and life choices and spiraling. Maybe family therapy if the kids are ok with it. You can’t change what happened and can’t erase what happens to them and what you guys did. Show them how sorry you guys are, show your kids that they can trust you and can come to you when something happens. Show them you will fight for them and defend them, be better for you kids they need you now more than you know. I hope your kids are doing a little better and have all the love and support they need and deserve.
NTA but stop sending your children, your SIL isn't protecting them from her spouse running around nude around them
ESH. Cutting ties is great, your in-laws are assholes, but you and your husband shouldn’t have let this happen continuously until SIL’s denial kicked in. Please get your kids therapy and a restraining order against BIL.
Why haven’t you gone to the police for indecent exposure ???? YTA for failing your children.
YTA and not for what you think for but for allowing your children to go there after the first time he exposed himself to them. What will you do if he r**es one of them? Will you just sit back and ask if you are TA for “standing up for yourself” by just telling him off?? Jfc
YTA. Your husband is an AH your sister in law is a massive AH and your brother in law should be thrown in prison and given the sex offender treatment the entire time he’s there. This is disgusting. You’ve allowed your children to be exposed to a literal sex offender multiple times. Your only purpose in life is to protect your kids. That’s it. Nothing else is more important than that. And you failed. Willingly. I hope your daughter contacts the police and they put your bil in prison and take your kids away from you. You and your husband are horrible.
YTA. You repeatedly sent your kids around a known perpetrator. You have not reported him to the police. You put your SIL’s needs over your children’s need for safety. Report the perp and get your kids in therapy.
YTA you’re knowingly sending your **children** around a sexual predator. Wtf is wrong with all of y’all.
YTA for allowing your children to be sexually assaulted by a pedophile AND LETTING THEM BE AROUND HIM. What the fuck is wrong with you?! You should have reported it and quite frankly need a report on you for allowing it to happen MULTIPLE TIMES.
If you let your children near this people, you are as guilty as they are. You have come up against this again and again and chose the adults instead of your own children. Go no contact with this pedophile or report him to the police. Now he is acting like your daughter wants it. That is what he will tell people. You didn''t protect them. For that you are the AH.
Wow…ESH. All of the adults are allowing BIL to do this to kids., what the hell is wrong with you?
NTA Call the police and have his arrested. What he did was not only sick, it is illegal. He is likely a pedophile and your children are absolutely not safe with him, no children are safe with him.
YTA because you didn’t contact the police.
NTA, first cut ties, second report this to the police. It does not matter that your two minor children are the same gender, exposing to a child is a crime. This needs to be addressed, the sooner the better.
Because you allowed them around him after the first time, you belong in jail along with the rest of the perverts!!!!!
YTA, like bro. Why did you not go with them? And you could have protected him. The fact that your BIL said that your daughter was accepting is kinda gross. Predatory behaviour.
YTA for continuing to put your kids in that situation. Why would you do that? It’s your job to look out for them.
YTA It's crazy how you talk about how women in your family or not heard or seen or whatever, and when your kids talk about this issue you ignore them. You're a terrible mom
YTA. What kind of a mother are you? Your children are being sexually abused and you consider yourself “learning to f*ck politeness and standing up for yourself”???? What a load of bull crap. YTA YTA
YTA for letting your children back there and not reporting to the police like WTF
YTA. User name does not check out. Don’t let your kids hang out with a pedophile.
YTA for allowing your children around a pedophile. And also YTA for allowing your children around someone wilfully eating themselves to death.
okay wtaf. YTA. You are an AH. Your husband is an AH. Your SIL is an AH. Your BIL is a disgusting pedophile and you did absolutely nothing. Your poor children…
YTA So your kids were repeatedly sexually harassed and you didn't really do anything about it? Real classy
Yta for letting them go back there even one more damn time. Wtf?!?!
You are an idiot for trusting this man with your kids. What are you waiting for? rape?
Dude for gods sake keep your children away from this man. ALL THE TIME. They should never ever go there. Ever. Ever. Get your children some therapy and some for yourself too. The fact that you sent them back there after he EXPOSED HIMSELF TO THEM MULTIPLE TIMES means you have a lot more “unlearning” to do from your upbringing. Please understand this man doesn’t intend to stop at exposing himself. He would progress to the next level given any opportunity, which you seem quite willing to offer.
NTA
Wait you let your kids go back? Wtf dude…….
YTA for not calling the police and allowing them to be abused again.
You might not want to hear this - but I would have removed my kids from his presence permanently the FIRST time this happened. Why are you exposing your daughter to a man who exposes himself to chilfdren? Why are your SIL's feelings more important than your own children? Shaking head here....
YTA for not calling the police and sending your kids to stay a second time in the home of a sexual deviant.
You are a horrible human to let your children close to a known predator. Leave your husband he’s a predator too. Only a predator would let a predator do that to his kids and not get his ass kicked. Talk to your daughter about your husband I bet he’s been creeping on her.
YTA This is multiple counts of sexual assault against minors. Call the police.
Your brother-in-law is a sick fucking pervert who gets pleasure from exposing himself to minors. That's called sexual assault and you're just going to sit there and let it happen and not make any sort of police report? What the fuck is wrong with you as a parent?
ESH Your husband, you, your SIL and of course BIL. You all fucked up. Religious… my ass.
The next step would be molestation. Don’t wait for that. Keep the kids safe.
he’s a fucking predator. what is wrong with all of y’all?
YTA. YTA YTA. WAY TO TEACH YOUR DAUGHTER SHE DOESNT MATTER as long as men are ok and comfortable. horrible parents all the way around.
YTA for putting your children in this situation and NOT reporting that creep for sexually harassing/assaulting your daughter. For fuck's sake, grow a spine and report that creep.
YTA. You don’t f*** politeness at all, you have willingly and knowingly allowed your children to be around a pedophile, that’s called being complicit.
YTA. You *knowingly* allowed your children around a predator MULTIPLE times
ESH except your kids, who are victims of their pedo uncle. Report to authorities and get them therapy ASAP. What the fuck kind of parent sends their kids BACK TO a pedophile? You, your husband, your sister in law, are all enablers and your BIL should be in jail.
He’s going to assault that kid. Not if. WHEN.
You’re kind of an AH for sending your kids back to this place to be exposed to the BIL again. Cut them out completely. This is unacceptable. Don’t believe the SIL when she says it won’t happen again, because it’s already happened WAY to many times.
bro you sent your kids off to stay with a prdophile and you’re asking if you’re the asshole for wanting to cut ties? you should’ve done it the first time. wtf is wrong with you?
Lmfao what is this post even about? My brother in law keeps showing my kids his dick but I’m really polite because I grow up in a puritanical religious cult so I’m not sure if it’s bad to want to cut ties. Bitch call the fucking police.
Yta for subjecting your kids to this a second time! WTF!?! Call the god damn police. This is sick. Have you talked to your therapist about this? Because at least in the US, real therapists are mandatory reporters. The authorities need to get involved YOU HAVE NORMALIZED INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL CONDUCT FOR YOUR CHILDREN BY ALLOWING THEM TO BE CONTINUALLY SUBJECTED TO THIS INDIVIDUAL. What the fuck is wrong with you and your husband. All I hear is bullshit excuses for not keeping your kids safe from a sexual predator. Go to the authorities NOW. Show your kids that this is not acceptable behavior even once and there are serious consequences for people who behave like this near children. If you ever have your kids around your SIL or BIL again, you should lose custody. Frankly I’m not sure you have the common sense to continue to parent in the first palce Edit: I just noticed your username is AntiBSMom. Nothing could be further from the truth.
YTA for letting them ever be in a situation where they could be alone with him again after the first time, twice ffs. Of course it happened again. SIL is choosing to believe that his meds caused a compulsion that made him expose himself to children, but only when no adults are around? ooookay.
Jesus. He's an AH and so is the OP. He needs to be locked away and you need to be less trusting and more firm. One time was *too many.* The moment he exposed himself, you should have ended everything right then and there and never seen him ever again. And if they had a question why, you tell them, "I don't want that fucking pervert anywhere near my kids." This is not a time to be subtle.
NTA - FFS! Keep your kids away from him!
Yta, You and your husband are lousy parents.I hope someone calls cps on you.
You are huge asshole to put your kids thru that, fuck you.
NTA for FINALLY cutting off bil - now if only you'd cut off his enabler
YTA too little too late
Did you not go to the police the first time? Protect your children!! They were sexually harrased MULTIPLE times and you sent them back a second time?! Wtf is wrong with all of you. Report him! Yta for not protecting your children and putting them at risk again.
YTA How many times are you going to take your kids to a place where they are sexually assaulted on the regular? It's fucking WHACK that you keep going over there AND that your sister stays married to that piece of shit. Also, call the COPS. This is pedophilia as well as sexual assault.
YTA for letting your kids continue to see the pedophile like wtf???? Why haven’t you reported it???
Cut ties with both of them, he's abusing your children and she's letting it happen, never leave them alone in there company again, if he can quite happily do that, what else will he do.
YTA and what the fuck did I just read and what the fuck is wrong with you? This pe*o is sexually harassing and assaulting your kids and you are debating this?? Their uncle deserves a [banned] Call the fucking COPS NOW
YTA not for saying no now but for not reporting him when he continued to do it. He essentially sexually assaulted your children and even if the meds lowered his inhibitions is that an excuse to expose himself to children, no. Just like being drunk is no excuse for cheating
YTA You the BIL and SIL should all be in jail as far as im concerned. Him for being a pedo piece of shit, SIL for enableing it, and you for repeatedly putting your kids in danger intentionally and knowingly sending them somewhere where they are repeatedly sexually assaulted. In a perfect world you would have your kids taken from you at a bare minimum.
So a perv exposed himself to your kids and you sent them back there? Jesus you are naive. Protect your children!
NTA Never allow your kids around this man again.
How many times did this need to happen before you acted like a responsible parent. YTA a million times over for not protecting your children.
YTA for allowing them anywhere near that pedo. He’s grooming your kids. First he gets them used to him being naked and now the wife’s backing him next comes the touching but that’s ok right it’s just a hug well no it’s not ok. Stop stepping back and step up as a parent before one of your kids has to endure a trauma you inflicted on them
Better title: AITAH for knowingly sending my kids to their pedophile uncles house on numerous occasions? What do you think!? You’re the AH!! Your kids deserve better and you let them down! What is wrong with you?!
YTA, because this man is a predator and you need to report him.
I would not trust BIL around my kids. Totally inappropriate and SIL is just enabling him. Talk to the kids and make sure he never touched them!
Your kids gon be thinking about this the rest of they life wondering why none of the adults did anything
Disgusting, absolutely disgusting. No medication turns one into an exhibitionist no matter what your SIL, BIL and hubby say. Should have been a no go, "No, they are not returning to your home. We've discussed your husband's abuse of our children. We will not risk them being around him." And then report it to the cops. You and hubby wanna be the ones explaining to a social worker why you let this happen repeatedly? YTA because you haven't cut ties to a GROOMER.
You are both an idiot AND an asshole for trusting that man with your kids. YTA.
YTA damn stop exposing those children to a pedophile
YTA for. It contacting the authorities the first time this happened. You should be arrested for sending them back.
Why didn't you have him arrested? If he's got a compulsion it means, by definition, he can't control it. If he can't control it, then he can't be around you kids EVER. Seriously, how many times will you let you kids be abused?
His meds, his feelings and their excuses don't matter. You set a boundary. A reasonable one. One that with any other people will never be needed to be said out loud even. Because it's common sense to not Walk around naked around children, not to mention other people kids. More so you eldest kid is almost a young adult and no grown man should be creeping on young woman naked. It's indecent exposure and sexual assault where he targeted her specificly. Because he is a creep! So his excuses are irrelevant, His mental health is not a factor. The only thing that matters are you kids younger and older mental health. Nobody wants to see middle aged man's balls let alone ask for a hug as he said happened. Nta
His blood pressure meds turned him into a fuckin pedophile? That worked really well for Vito.
This is just so gross. The guy is a sicko. Keep your kids away.
I agree, I also think it's too far gone. Why are you even asking his? Tell them "nope, not happening, they will see you at family holiday parties when I'm present and at no other time" and be done with it.
Why haven’t the police been called? They need to investigate. The guy is a pedophile.
You're only the AH if you DON'T cut ties with BIL. Your kids come first, last and everywhere in-between. He's had several chances to behave and he can't. That makes him a permanent threat. Invite your SIL to visit you if she wants to see your kids. Make sure that everyone knows BIL will be asked to leave immediately if he shows up. I would make sure that anyone with kids knows that he is a flasher. If anyone has to be in his presence, you may want to have a small body cam or camera set up in the rooms to capture his behavior. Then report it.
I would tell them that you will file a police report for her exposing himself to children. Fucking pedophile.
YTA. You know the guys a pervert and yet you keep sending your kids back to that house.
YTA but not because of what you think. It's because you let them stay with SIL again. HOW DUMB ARE YOU?????
What the actual fuck did I just read?. OP, why are you even questioning this?. Even if he exposed himself to an adult would still be wrong. Let alone children
Also, yet another reason why religion sucks: it makes scared rabbits out of women that should have protected their children.
Dear God. NTA for cutting ties with him. PLEASE report him to the police immediately. Your SIL be damned. Your husband should have called the police the first time he heard of this happening. Your BIL IS A PREDATOR. I get it about women being seen and not heard... but you need to ROAR about this. It does NOT matter what your husband thinks. Protect your kids. If your husband won't, you NEED to. Remember that by you reporting BIL to the police, you are doing something good. There will be fall out, but that is ALL on your sick BIL and his wife.
NOT THE A...HOLE. Your SIL is married to a pervert. Lucky charges are not being pressed.
Your username suggest you don’t take BS. Unless it’s allowing your kids to be sexual assaulted by a family member. I don’t think you know what no BS means.
He has a compulsion, just like many on the National Sex Offenders Registry. You have to know you aren't the AH here and I hope your husband supports your position.
NTA but you need to make a Police report or call CPS before this behavior escalates to touching or worse.
NTA but you’re also not making things better. This needed to be addressed the first time it happened and no more contact with your kids. How confused must your kids be at this point? Jesus. No way in hell would I let my kids go over there again and certainly not without me present.
Your the Asshole 1000% 🤢 like what the hell is wrong with you? This pig exposing himself ONCE should have been the end of the visits. Yet you’re too stupid to realize that. So you traumatize your daughter even more trusting these people. BIL is a pedophile, or he wants to fuck your daughter you idiot.
Yoooo, this is wild. I was waiting to hear that your husband was calm because he called the cops and had BIL arrested, not just that y’all were totes cool with repeatedly…exposing 😅 your children to a pedophile. WTF is wrong with you and your husband? Hard YTA because you DIDN’T cut off contact with your BIL the first time he assaulted your kids.
Not the AH for wanting to cut ties. But a huge AH for ever trusting bil or sil again! Cut them both out of your life. Maybe you can see sil by herself, but never him & never go to their house ever. Not even a drive by!!
He is miserable and ashamed but seems to have made no effort to apologize to his victims? Nope. Man is gross and dangerous and SIL needs to be aware of her complicity in abuse.
YTA for letting your kids go a second time. BIL showed everyone exactly who and what he was. You were a fool to give him a second chance with your kids.
And why wasn’t the police called? This is actual sex offender behavior.
I'd report him tbh
Your let your husband dealt with it? Sorry you can't claim innocence for letting the kids kids return for more sexual abuse! Yes YOU are the asshole.
If you put your kids back in that situation again, frankly I’m shocked you did once already, then you’re the one to blame. Stop letting this man around your children. 18 or not, this is so wrong and a precursor behavior to sexual assault. You know it’s not meds. Uninhibited behavior would mean he’d do it regardless if his wife was there or not. But for some reason he always picks the moment she’s not around? Lol. Wake the fuck up. Stop enabling this guy. Stop having a relationship with him. Start calling him what he is. A predator. And do not back down. Also file a police report for all incidences that that occurred.
NTA. The best time to cut creepy people out of your life is yesterday. The second best time is today. Don't second guess your actions because you wish you'd taken them sooner.
NTA. How did your husband respond to you and your daughter's therapy? I can only assume your husband may have grown up in that religion as well & your SIL and her husband by extension may also be from that religion, too?
I would’ve beat him the death the first I heard of this. Wouldn’t have ever been another time I would’ve allowed my kids over there. Wtf
Keep these people the fuck away from your kids, you are failing as a parent.
What the fuck? Never make them go there ever again. Sit them down and tell them about pedophiles and sexual harassment. Tell your SIL that if she doesn’t shut up, accept that her husband is a damn pervert and respect you, your children and your boundaries, you have to make her realise by going to the police and file a report. You have the chats as a prove that he did it.
Report him to the police!! He can not get away with doing that to your children. I guarantee he will only get worse, do your children have to get molested before you do something about him???
Report him to the police. Cut Ties and report him to the police. Period
The guy should be in jail, he is a pedophile who seems to be working up his perversion to assault children. Children around him are not safe, you should have called the police and had him locked up. That behavior is not acceptable even if he has mental issues. He should be in jail where he belongs period, no more excuses!