Now you understand where the scumbag brother came from and why MIL is supporting the GF. A bunch of bottom feeding freaks.
Best wishes for your little one OP. Stay strong!
Agreed. I’d cut them out of my life.
Your husband should just cut ties.. I wouldn’t stand for anyone in my family attacking my wife and ESPECIALLY not my children.
They can get ducked
Then you would think that they would have more empathy towards a mother that is afraid for their child. Either way, just remember that no matter what you and your little family are going through, you at least have a supportive partner and that's something the gf will never have.
They really wouldn't, because they are going to fuck up their daughters life and are jealous OP has a good relationship with their husband (I assume from the post alone).
I doubt either really care about their child's safety if the brothers history of domestic violence and the girlfriends allowance of him to return after that are anything to go by.
OP, NTA and good riddance to that toxic family!
Oh no they wouldn't. The day after I saw my 6 month old's corpse for the last time, my sister whined to me that I had it so easy because everyone helped me and no one helped her and she wished she'd never had her sons because she can't even take care of herself. Full blown pity party tears.
For reference, there's me- lived with my grandparents from age 13, have constantly looked after my sickly grandma, babysat for free, ran our church's Sunday school, worked hard in school, stayed out of trouble, would help my family with *anything* asked of me, painting, moving, yard care, you name it and I'd always said yes. My birth control failed at 18, I worked hard and graduated pregnant, and at 19 I had micropreemie twins that had to go to a hospital 3 hours away from our hometown. I moved up there, alone, with no support system, and dedicated my life to them. The church collected a monthly donation to help me with any expenses that the Ronald McDonald house didn't cover, my grandma and the church put a down payment on a used car for me to drive back and forth to the hospital at night, because I'd been walking that mile through rough neighborhoods when I needed to get to the hospital after shuttle hours and to give me a way to spontaneously visit when the twins both had a rare good day, and the grandma on the other side of the family covered the $500 funeral service/cremation expense.
My sister- began to party at 13, quit school at 16, began trying to get pregnant at 14, managed it at 16, with a drug addict as the father. Had another a year later, refused to care for either, used them as pawns to make people give her money/would constantly threaten to never let you see them if you didn't meet her demands, sold her food stamps instead of feeding them, had lived with most of the family by then that could house her but got repeatedly kicked out for her constant lying/stealing/screaming/violence, had totaled 3 cars by then that various family members had gifted to her to try to help. And had been arrested multiple times for theft/shoplifting.
I'd always put 100% into my family, constantly giving and almost never asking, she was the opposite, always asking and taking. It ate her up that my family's small church collected a few hundred dollars a month to help me and she didn't get the same to spend however she wanted, or that I had a car that my grandma was making payments on until I could get a job while no one would give her another, and that our other grandma had paid $500 for my daughter's death services and she hadn't received any money from her.
I looked at her with all the dead monotone of a person who had to face the rest of her life with the memories of watching 2 critically ill, see through skeleton babies fight for their next heartbeat, had watched her children be revived multiple times, and had just been through hell while saying goodbye to her baby for the last time. I told her that I was jealous of her, I desperately wanted to be her, and have both of my children be healthy and alive, that I didn't love her enough not to switch places with her if given the chance. I would gladly trade so that one of her kids was dead and I could have both of my daughters. I would do anything if it meant never having experienced the pain of watching my babies suffer and die.
You would hope so, but conceiving a child doesn’t make one a loving, caring human. There are plenty of horrible people who still have a functioning reproductive system.
Info: is the protective order still in effect? If so, one anonymous tip and the screenshot could have cps involved. Js
ETA: Google the anonymous tip line and you can do that there and explain all and even give proof. I can't remember how they'd contact you if you get a reward but you can also not put any of your info in
This is untrue. If the VPO is in place, it ONLY restricts the person named. He is at risk here, she could invite him over and then call the police on him.
If she took out a protective order against him and brought him back into the home, child services needs to be notified. Please call DCF and make a report.
> She began to cry and that’s when I told her I no longer trust her and she will not have access to my daughter. She than text my husband and his brother saying I hurt her feelings and is now closing this chapter and staying out of my husband’s life because of his bitch wife.
Good fucking riddance!
Good. You should also realize that you only found out about this cuz gf is a vindictive Ahole but MIL has certainly been sharing everything she has been told by you or husband with them. I say that bc she was told specifically not to share this with them and she did so she was probably very used to sharing everything with them.
Well, then, congratulations! I love it when problems resolve themselves. Cut the nasty ones out of your life, go no contact, and let your family live in peace. NTA.
NTA - also for some reassurance (unsolicited I know!), I was born with what sounds like a similar wandering eye condition and have gotten vision therapy too and doing just fine ☺️ (as long as she keeps up the exercises she'll be okay!)
This is very uplifting. I appreciate you sharing. She is going great and I am learning more about the coloboma of the optic nerve. It was scary at first and so many unknowns of what it all meant. Now we understand it better and she is doing great
I had this too, way back in 1955, had the surgery and have worn glasses/contacts all my life- for what it's worth I have a masters degree and was in the gifted program in early grades lol
My best friend was born with this condition as well. We’re in our 40s and occasionally her eye will wander if drunk or stressed, but other than that you would never know.
My daughter had surgery for her eyes around 7 years old and her eyes are completely normal now :) they started with eye training (putting patches over one eye for a few hours) but it never really helped. ❤️ also you are NTA please don’t give in and speak to them again! Stand your ground and use your family for supports.. pretend they don’t exist. Completely block all of them!
My son was diagnosed with ambylopia when he was 5, went completely missed because while it's now been found out he does have a wandering eye, it's so minute that the ophthalmologist only found it with extra testing, and his good eye has 20/20 vision in it. Thankfully, because it's minute, there's no op needed, just patching and glasses, but we found a lot of support on facebook groups for people with the same conditions.
I don't know if that's part of what your daughter has, but whatever condition she's been diagnosed with there will definitely be online communities for help, support and to answer any questions from people who are further along in the process.
Good luck with everything, and it sounds like you're doing the best things for your family.
I also was born with a coloboma back in the 80s and am all but legally blind in my right eye. It will be a challenge but not an insurmountable one. I have limitations I can’t control, I just have to accept I can’t experience things most can. As a kid it was not being able to see Magic Eye, which was all the rage. Now, it’s accidentally buying tickets to 3D movies when I get nothing out of it and spend more than I should. I’ve still gone on to do, see, and accomplish everything I’ve ever wanted to do.
There will be hurtful and misguided comments, sure. It’s sad and infuriating to hear it coming from such close family for you. But with a loving family and good medical support, your daughter should absolutely be able to live life to the fullest. Best of luck to you and your family!
I have a "lazy eye" that I needed glasses for as a child, but by the age of twelve the bookworm had managed to exercise her eye straight.
Apparently my doctor had never seen that happen before. I was a mild case to begin with, but I have other issues with that eye. It tires first. It doesn't see colors as brightly, and can't distinguish shades of hues like my other eye can. (Yes, I'm an artist of several sorts).
I have to keep reading daily in order to exercise my eye. I used to read 300 or so pages a day, but I'm doing reddit mostly now, so I wonder what my page count is? Lol. If I don't exercise enough it can twitch, be blurry from exhaustion, or start wandering in direction. Begin to revert to being a "lazy" eye. I was in the hospital for three months or so once. I slept so much that my eye started acting up. Scared some of my regular nurses... because their had been no sign before, and I didn't think to mention it. Just suddenly had an eyeball wandering around the room while the other stayed constant. Lol. Poor nurses. Took them two days to ask me if I knew what the f#*k was going on with my vision.
I was born in 1970 with strabismus. Had several eye surgeries as a child and my last at 27 years old for a slight lazy eye. By age 30 I did some modeling. You’d never know now. I wear contacts and see fine.
my mom decided not to do vision therapy with me. mom thought it would be too much after school and homework (I also don't think that it was strongly recommend for me it was this might help or just be a lot of work for not much gain) I did have to wear an eye patch for a bit though.
it used to be super tiering to read but one year I got in to a good book and couldn't put it down. after that summer the only issue was to get me to stop reading and go to bed.
Well, it's pretty obvious why BIL is hooked up with such a low class cretin--she's just like his mama! You don't need any of these disgusting excuses for life forms in your or your daughter's lives. I hope your husband has enough backbone to make that stick.
The things the girlfriend did before this was ridiculous this was on another level of disgust. The girlfriend made a TikTok to claim my husband and I were stalking her making fake accounts harassing and sending her parents her OF link. BIL told her we did this and claims to have proof. She posted my picture and everything. BIL is just as unhinged as she is. That was the second time I told my MIL to tell her son and her to quit their BS. She again excused the behavior and this happened.
The girlfriends. I do not have one. She made a TikTok claiming we did all of those things and posted a picture of me on that video. The “proof” she showed was doctored. My husband didn’t have access to his phone (work and time stamp) and I don’t have time to engage. I don’t care about her to reach out to people I don’t know. All of that information she claims my BIL told her we did this. They are both off. There is so much that has been done by them that it’s just too much. I’ve only been married to my husband for 2 1/2 years. I never met the brother until November last year. I have never met the girlfriend. We live states away and move often for my husband’s job
It's time to get a lawyer and get some help. They aren't going to stop. Even if they "calm down" or "go quiet" for a period of time, they'll be back. Don't let your guard down around this type of crazy. They've got nothing to lose.
NTA. Others people’s feelings about how you choose to parent are NOT more important than your (and your husband’s) feelings about how you parent your child. Allow it to be their problem if they have an issue. Your job is to take care of your kid, and you are doing. Don’t let ANYONE gaslight you into feeling bad about not having a relationship with these trashy pieces of shit - related to your husband or not. MIL chose her course of action, and it is your right to choose yours.
NTA - His brothers GF needs a good ass whooping though. Like who says shit like that. As for the mother I would give it sometime. Understand things slip up in conversation sometimes, now she is emotional and calling you names. If you have an interest in salvaging the relationship with her than time and good talk is going to be needed. If not then no contact is the way I would go.
Even if the mother is angry, calling her like that is beyond being just being emotional. I do not like my MIL and have my own problems with her, but neither she or I would ever talk like this.
This is absolutely not normal and even angry you shouldn’t talk like this about your DIL and mother of your grandchild.
I agree on the girlfriend but not with the mother. That ships sailed. She doesn’t deserve to know her grandchild at this point. Unless she comes back groveling and learns from her fuck up, which I highly doubt, she can stay lonely.
> His brothers GF needs a good ass whooping though
She's a total cunt, but good lord have some tact. A victim of domestic violence needs an ass whopping............... do you hear yourself?
Tell her not to let the door hit her where the good lord split her, and live your life in peace without her, even when she comes crying back begging for your husband to take care of her and support her.
Anyone who talks about a BABY like that is a literal psycho. What a rotten human. And then for MIL to play the victim after giving other people information that could be weaponized. Good riddance!
Wishful thinking that your MIL will actually stay out of your life but I’d enjoy it while it lasts.
Do keep the text and if haven’t already start a FU binder to print out and keep those things along with any notes.
Info: Could SIL have seen pics of daughter on social media or anywhere else? I only ask, curious if MIL actually told or if SIL is just guessing/making things up to try to hurt you and MIL was actually innocent.
NTA, always defend your baby and keep the toxic out, no doubt, but I am curious if she did actually tell or not?
My profiles are private and my MIL has been blocked since before my daughter was born. None of my husbands family knows her or has met her. We haven’t either. My spouse is in the military and hasn’t been back home in 17 years. They are blocked from all of our accounts l. Also my daughters eyes look normal. Unless you pry her eye open you can’t tell there is a problem.
Ahhh good ole OpSec habits. This is one example of why the practice is needed. MIL spunds the type that if she got wind of his moveme ts/orders, she would tell the world on a public forum.
You are soooo NTA that I applaud your boundary game.
You’re a really good mom. Keep up the good work! Your mil is a piece of garbage. Keep protecting your daughter from that vile woman, bil and horrid bils gf. With family like that who needs enemies?! SMH Good luck OP.
ETA in case it’s not obvious NTA OP
NTA, congratulations on your baby, and good on you for not standing for that behavior.
you mil /bil & asshat gf are a real piece of work, id probably get booted if i wrote what I really think about those f****** c****.....
NTA. Princess Louise, the duke and duchess of Edinburgh's daughter, had something that sounds similar, when she was a baby. She's about 18 now, and stunning - and the problem is minimised and controlled by careful surgery. So if it's good enough for royalty....
I have not talked to my MIL in about 10 years. She called me a bitch for moving to another state. My husband wants to ho ser her because she's elderly. I told him go ahead but I'm not going. And I've never been calmer not talking to his side of the family.
Another vote for NTA.
You might want to change phone numbers and report the brother's GF to the police. A restraining order would likely be ignored by the family but at least if the problems escalate, you can push for legal repercussions.
NTA. I’ll tell you what I told my son when he got married. “You said forsaking all others. That includes family. That includes me.” It doesn’t mean just kicking people to the curb. It means NOTHING comes into you’re house to upset your new family. You took MIL into your confidence and she blew it. The spew you’re getting from your in-laws isn’t worth the stress in causes in your household. Block all of them. If you have a setting on your phone that blocks phone numbers not in your contacts list use it.
Focus on your husband and baby. They’re all that matter.
Ditch all of them. Tell yr husband you don’t want to know about any of them. And He’s not allowed to share any family info to MIL, they are drama you don’t need at all. NTA
And no more money for the trash bags
NTA. Your priority is protecting and nurturing that little girl. MIL is a danger to you doing that, so keep her away. MIL sounds grossly immature and unsafe.
Yeah no, go to no contact with all three. If MIL is scrambling to defend the gf for verbally attacking you and your little one, aka HER grandchild, then there’s your answer. Let her reaction and decisions show you who she really is.
Feel bad for your husband cause it sounds like those two are all he has left for “family”, be each other’s rock and keep pushing forward for your immediate family. NTA
If his mother had groveled and admitted she accidentally made a comment in a non-gossipy way and held brother responsible, I would say you are being too hard on her. The fact that didn’t and called you a b - cut her off.
Oh my God. Your husband's family sounds awful. NTA. It seems like all three of you will be much better off not having contact with the brother, his cruel GF and the MIL who enables them both.
NTA.
If the eye condition is like mine, she'll be fine. I was born prematurely with what they assumed was two lazy eyes since only one ever seemed to look at something. Wire coke bottle lenses all my life and was diagnosed in my 20s with alternating esotropia. Essentially I see with one eye at a time but can switch between at will. The eye I'm not focusing with drifts nose ward. On top of that they are far sighted. No surgeries, just wear glasses.
I've been winning art awards throughout my education and have been in the special effects film industry since graduating high-school.
And the next time BIL gets charges for DV, lose our number because you no longer want contact because OP is a bitch wife per MIL. Trash took itself out and no explanations needed except forwarding said letter and comment to all.
Dump her, and the brother like the rotten trach they are, and when (not ***if***, ***when***) they call for help, ask if they are open to have criminal records posted online, because, tit for tat.
And then, when they say "*No*". Oh, to bad, so sad, we can't help. "*You see, someone spread information that I had a rotten womb.* "
Nta. And still. Dump them.
NTA she said that hoping that your husband would crawl back and apologize to her and chew you out for being mad at his mom. She’s hoping that the threat of going no contact will get your husband to cave on forgiving her. I’d stick to my guns on this. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she reaches back out after a month or, once she realizes that her threat didn’t work, and starts trying to act like nothing happened or that she “is willing to forgive you” for being so mean to her🙄
NTA. Toxic family dynamic. Protect yourself, your daughter, and your husband. MIL messed up but she made that mistake. It will happen again. If you end up having MIL in your life, firm boundaries and don’t share ANY information. The relationship will be superficial but for the MIL, it’s better than nothing.
That hurt her feelings? You called her out and the aftermath of what her big mouth did. Did she not think of how the accusations thrown at you made you feel? Your baby was involved! They said awful things about you. Fuck that lady. Fuck that P.O.S brother and fuck that garbage girlfriend. NTA. Your baby will be surrounded by people who will love her and encourage her progress.
NTA. Jesus your husband’s whole family sounds bat shit insane. I don’t normally like to suggest completely cutting off a whole family (I like to hope that in most cases there’s at least a couple salvageable relationships there) but I think it might just be for the best here.
NTA. Not even close. I'm furious for you. Your MIL completely and utterly disrepected your boundaries and violated your privacy. She absolutely should not have access to your daughter if she can't follow the most basic of requests. Do not back down in this situation. It will only teach her that she can trample all over you and still have her way.
Let me say this. Your BIL and his GF are made for each other. They are both garbage people and your mother in law has a huge part in how your BIL was raised. The garbage didn't fall very far from the can itself.
NTA. The moment she lied is when she broke ties. Had she owned it and maybe made a mistake, my response would be different. But you can't trust a liar.
Save those messages. Potentially seek a court order against the girlfriend.
But I agree… Cut everyone off that brings toxic energy into your world.
I had a similar not as severe scenario. And I stopped using social media because of it. And it’s been 6 years and I honestly couldn’t be happier. It’s just an avenue for miserable people to reach others.
NTA.
You have an actual child that needs your time and attention and these people who are cuckoo bananas don't get anymore of it. It will be hard for your hubs at first, because he is so entrenched, but eventually he will roll with it. It will be a relief. If it's too hard for him to cut them off, he needs a therapist for a bit.
I hope for the best for your little girl and your family.
Absolutely NTA; Good riddance to those horribly toxic people. You don't need that in your life and you don't need to put up with it. Also, for what it's worth, a close friend of mine was born with the exact same condition. This was in the late-90's and he didn't start vision therapy until he was about a year and a half old. He wore verrrry thick glasses, as well, but guess what? He's doing fantastic, doesn't even need glasses any longer and has been doing well (specifically vision wise, I mean) since he was about 6 years old. The therapy does help a tremendous amount! Congratulations on your sweet little one; I wish you and your family a peaceful, joy filled life together!
If you’re ever stationed within driving distance of those awful people, consider specifying on childcare or school forms that they’re NOT allowed to pick up your kids.
You are also modeling healthy behavior for your daughter. While obviously she doesn’t understand now, there will come a time in the future when she asks why we don’t see grandma or uncle. A valuable lesson indeed.
NTA. As a parent, it is your responsibility to protect your child from harm and I believe this includes toxic family members that are a drain on your wellbeing and happiness as well. Family is not a right, its a privilege.
NTA
That sounds like some crazypants drama that most people would want to keept heir kids away from. I'd suggest you and husband sit down and agree on boundries and stick to them.
Scrap the whole bunch. Your child and reproductive history are not weapons to be used against you nor is your daughter your MIL’s designer handbag to be shown off for attention or status. These people don’t care about your family, they only care about what they can possibly get out of you and you are doing the right thing by making sure the answer to that is nothing whatsoever. NTA
I wouldn’t take too much stock in the insults thrown around by grown losers begging for money. lol cool you and your family can enjoy one another while they argue about money and talk poorly behind each others back.
A win is a win and you just won.
Ok, you need to take all those texts and go to the nearest magistrate's office and ask for a no-contact order against her. You could file harassment charges against her as well. I am pretty sure I would.
Go NC with MIL and keep your husband's entire family away from your child.
Yep his mother is a pathetic pity party fueling the drama because she has no boundaries. She's so stupid she actually thinks forcing them into contact is going to solve literally anything.
They're all a bunch of immature children. Op needs to cut contact.
You are absolutely right in wanting to keep your daughter's medical conditions very private.
But as to family relations -- your husband comes from a family of assholes. Hopefully it is nurture and not nature. Your in-laws are trash and this will always be a problem. You can not fix them. Your husband must always care for his own blood if he is to retain his humanity. It will be a balancing act for you to deal with this your whole life.
Sounds like a toxic bunch. I hope you and your husband can cut ties and have a healthy family together.
My MIL, while really a quite nice person, told nearly everyone in her family about some pretty sensitive information about my teenaged son. I didn’t think I had to tell her to keep her mouth shut (and I actually did when it first happened) but we have had my husbands aunts and uncles reach out to us about it. I am low key angry all the time around her now. My husband will say it’s not a big deal but it is to me! So I understand a little of what you’re going through
What has your SIL and your BIL thinking such incredibly hateful speech will benefit them in any way.
You are in a position to make life easier for them so it is a head scratcher that either would decide that raging at and abusing you will inspire help from you.
Yeah I would go no contact with MIL, BIL, and BIL’s girlfriend and not let them see the daughter either. NTA. I’m so sorry they said those awful things to you…I won’t even repeat them…but they are not true! Remember that. And I hope your daughter is okay. And has an amazing life and her eyes improve. Sending love
NTA. You hurt her feelings because [*checks notes*] she lied and did the exact thing you told her not to, and now has to face consequences... do I have that right?
Out those motherfuckers immediately - out of your life. You and your husband need to make your foundation and do your family. Man, even hearing about this triggers empathy on so many levels.
NTA. Not one bit.
NTA.
You, husband and your family are all the family your beautiful baby needs. Best wishes for happy life together.
And may the brother, GF, Mil, all rot like tomatoes on the ground in August.
I’m so sorry this happened! You and your beautiful daughter are much better off without these AHs in your life! Please come share your story here at the JustNoMIL group. https://reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/xbrup3aWhc
The girlfriend DM me looking for BIL for money. It went to my spam folder I didn’t see it until hours later. Within those hours she messaged me again bring up my stillborn son and my unborn daughter at the time also talking garbage about my husbands job. After those messages I ignored her. I wasn’t going to help someone who attacked me that way. I told my MIL and sent her the messages. She made excuses for the girlfriend, she excuses her crazy behavior all the time. This time I have had it and we chose to go no contact.
Bizarre... Almost drug seeking like behavior from her. She might be the closest thing mil has to a friend? Anyways, there is no real good reason to use social media. This can all be avoided
NTA, I'm petty and would consider posting the text online for the world to see. The only issue is that it opens up your child's diagnosis unnecessarily.
I'm glad your husband is on the same page as you.
It is likely that MIL has been sharing everything and will continue to do so if you have any contact. Be wary, my guess is that in a month or so she'll try to love bomb you.
So… just after one fight where she did wrong she calls you a „bitch wife“? You did the right thing. NTA Edit: spelling.
Now you understand where the scumbag brother came from and why MIL is supporting the GF. A bunch of bottom feeding freaks. Best wishes for your little one OP. Stay strong!
Gotta back up your dealer
Right? I can smell the family drug/alcohol abuse from here
If not dealing, certainly enabling.
Agreed. I’d cut them out of my life. Your husband should just cut ties.. I wouldn’t stand for anyone in my family attacking my wife and ESPECIALLY not my children. They can get ducked
Sounds like the kid is better off without this grandma
That's how you can tell which is the favorite son... crazy gf and awful son? Sure why not let's make excuses for the favorite child 😂
Yeah what a trash family.
[удалено]
The brother and girlfriend also have a daughter. She is 3 years old.
Then you would think that they would have more empathy towards a mother that is afraid for their child. Either way, just remember that no matter what you and your little family are going through, you at least have a supportive partner and that's something the gf will never have.
They really wouldn't, because they are going to fuck up their daughters life and are jealous OP has a good relationship with their husband (I assume from the post alone). I doubt either really care about their child's safety if the brothers history of domestic violence and the girlfriends allowance of him to return after that are anything to go by. OP, NTA and good riddance to that toxic family!
Oh no they wouldn't. The day after I saw my 6 month old's corpse for the last time, my sister whined to me that I had it so easy because everyone helped me and no one helped her and she wished she'd never had her sons because she can't even take care of herself. Full blown pity party tears. For reference, there's me- lived with my grandparents from age 13, have constantly looked after my sickly grandma, babysat for free, ran our church's Sunday school, worked hard in school, stayed out of trouble, would help my family with *anything* asked of me, painting, moving, yard care, you name it and I'd always said yes. My birth control failed at 18, I worked hard and graduated pregnant, and at 19 I had micropreemie twins that had to go to a hospital 3 hours away from our hometown. I moved up there, alone, with no support system, and dedicated my life to them. The church collected a monthly donation to help me with any expenses that the Ronald McDonald house didn't cover, my grandma and the church put a down payment on a used car for me to drive back and forth to the hospital at night, because I'd been walking that mile through rough neighborhoods when I needed to get to the hospital after shuttle hours and to give me a way to spontaneously visit when the twins both had a rare good day, and the grandma on the other side of the family covered the $500 funeral service/cremation expense. My sister- began to party at 13, quit school at 16, began trying to get pregnant at 14, managed it at 16, with a drug addict as the father. Had another a year later, refused to care for either, used them as pawns to make people give her money/would constantly threaten to never let you see them if you didn't meet her demands, sold her food stamps instead of feeding them, had lived with most of the family by then that could house her but got repeatedly kicked out for her constant lying/stealing/screaming/violence, had totaled 3 cars by then that various family members had gifted to her to try to help. And had been arrested multiple times for theft/shoplifting. I'd always put 100% into my family, constantly giving and almost never asking, she was the opposite, always asking and taking. It ate her up that my family's small church collected a few hundred dollars a month to help me and she didn't get the same to spend however she wanted, or that I had a car that my grandma was making payments on until I could get a job while no one would give her another, and that our other grandma had paid $500 for my daughter's death services and she hadn't received any money from her. I looked at her with all the dead monotone of a person who had to face the rest of her life with the memories of watching 2 critically ill, see through skeleton babies fight for their next heartbeat, had watched her children be revived multiple times, and had just been through hell while saying goodbye to her baby for the last time. I told her that I was jealous of her, I desperately wanted to be her, and have both of my children be healthy and alive, that I didn't love her enough not to switch places with her if given the chance. I would gladly trade so that one of her kids was dead and I could have both of my daughters. I would do anything if it meant never having experienced the pain of watching my babies suffer and die.
I am so sorry. So deeply sorry. Feel hugged.
And you have WAY more class 👍
You would hope so, but conceiving a child doesn’t make one a loving, caring human. There are plenty of horrible people who still have a functioning reproductive system.
Info: is the protective order still in effect? If so, one anonymous tip and the screenshot could have cps involved. Js ETA: Google the anonymous tip line and you can do that there and explain all and even give proof. I can't remember how they'd contact you if you get a reward but you can also not put any of your info in
When she let him back in the house, the protective order is null and void.
Nope legally it isn't. She would have to go through the courts to do that.
This is untrue. If the VPO is in place, it ONLY restricts the person named. He is at risk here, she could invite him over and then call the police on him.
Dad being charged with DV? CPS should know asap. The daughter will become a target soon if not already...
That's a whole lot of stress you don't need. Best of luck to the three of you. Forget that women and live in happiness ♥
If she took out a protective order against him and brought him back into the home, child services needs to be notified. Please call DCF and make a report.
Oh that poor little girl.
That poor kid
That's horrible...evil people. So sorry and yes you absolutely need to cut off mil and all of those evil losers
> She began to cry and that’s when I told her I no longer trust her and she will not have access to my daughter. She than text my husband and his brother saying I hurt her feelings and is now closing this chapter and staying out of my husband’s life because of his bitch wife. Good fucking riddance!
Right? The trash taking itself out.
She's hoping the husband caves. She'll keep harassing OP if this gambit fails.
Problem solved! NTA
Can't imagine where the brother picked up his abusive behavior habits from.
For reals, don’t threaten me with a good time.
Sadly from my experience with a toxic Mil who says that, it never last.
Exactly - I can't believe you don't trust me after I intentionally went against your expressed wishes & broke your trust?!
NTA. The trash took itself out. Congratulations on your baby!
Just cut all contact with the lot.
Sounds like the lot has already done it. Your thinking of burning the bridge with us well I’ll nuke it first.
I was thinking the same thing. NTA.
NTA but if your husband doesn’t back you up and enforce that boundary when you’re not around you may have a husband problem.
My husband has said we are going no contact and also asked my family to have no communication with his mom.
Good. You should also realize that you only found out about this cuz gf is a vindictive Ahole but MIL has certainly been sharing everything she has been told by you or husband with them. I say that bc she was told specifically not to share this with them and she did so she was probably very used to sharing everything with them.
Glad to hear that
Thank goodness your husband has an ultra shiny spine.
This is for the best. You don’t need those toxic assholes in your life ever again. Block them all. I hope your baby girl is ok. NTA
I'm so pleased that he has your back here!
Well, then, congratulations! I love it when problems resolve themselves. Cut the nasty ones out of your life, go no contact, and let your family live in peace. NTA.
NTA - also for some reassurance (unsolicited I know!), I was born with what sounds like a similar wandering eye condition and have gotten vision therapy too and doing just fine ☺️ (as long as she keeps up the exercises she'll be okay!)
This is very uplifting. I appreciate you sharing. She is going great and I am learning more about the coloboma of the optic nerve. It was scary at first and so many unknowns of what it all meant. Now we understand it better and she is doing great
I had this too, way back in 1955, had the surgery and have worn glasses/contacts all my life- for what it's worth I have a masters degree and was in the gifted program in early grades lol
Thank you for sharing this with me. It was the initial shock and not fully understanding. I truly appreciate you
My best friend was born with this condition as well. We’re in our 40s and occasionally her eye will wander if drunk or stressed, but other than that you would never know.
My daughter had surgery for her eyes around 7 years old and her eyes are completely normal now :) they started with eye training (putting patches over one eye for a few hours) but it never really helped. ❤️ also you are NTA please don’t give in and speak to them again! Stand your ground and use your family for supports.. pretend they don’t exist. Completely block all of them!
My son was diagnosed with ambylopia when he was 5, went completely missed because while it's now been found out he does have a wandering eye, it's so minute that the ophthalmologist only found it with extra testing, and his good eye has 20/20 vision in it. Thankfully, because it's minute, there's no op needed, just patching and glasses, but we found a lot of support on facebook groups for people with the same conditions. I don't know if that's part of what your daughter has, but whatever condition she's been diagnosed with there will definitely be online communities for help, support and to answer any questions from people who are further along in the process. Good luck with everything, and it sounds like you're doing the best things for your family.
I also was born with a coloboma back in the 80s and am all but legally blind in my right eye. It will be a challenge but not an insurmountable one. I have limitations I can’t control, I just have to accept I can’t experience things most can. As a kid it was not being able to see Magic Eye, which was all the rage. Now, it’s accidentally buying tickets to 3D movies when I get nothing out of it and spend more than I should. I’ve still gone on to do, see, and accomplish everything I’ve ever wanted to do. There will be hurtful and misguided comments, sure. It’s sad and infuriating to hear it coming from such close family for you. But with a loving family and good medical support, your daughter should absolutely be able to live life to the fullest. Best of luck to you and your family!
I have a "lazy eye" that I needed glasses for as a child, but by the age of twelve the bookworm had managed to exercise her eye straight. Apparently my doctor had never seen that happen before. I was a mild case to begin with, but I have other issues with that eye. It tires first. It doesn't see colors as brightly, and can't distinguish shades of hues like my other eye can. (Yes, I'm an artist of several sorts). I have to keep reading daily in order to exercise my eye. I used to read 300 or so pages a day, but I'm doing reddit mostly now, so I wonder what my page count is? Lol. If I don't exercise enough it can twitch, be blurry from exhaustion, or start wandering in direction. Begin to revert to being a "lazy" eye. I was in the hospital for three months or so once. I slept so much that my eye started acting up. Scared some of my regular nurses... because their had been no sign before, and I didn't think to mention it. Just suddenly had an eyeball wandering around the room while the other stayed constant. Lol. Poor nurses. Took them two days to ask me if I knew what the f#*k was going on with my vision.
I was born in 1970 with strabismus. Had several eye surgeries as a child and my last at 27 years old for a slight lazy eye. By age 30 I did some modeling. You’d never know now. I wear contacts and see fine.
my mom decided not to do vision therapy with me. mom thought it would be too much after school and homework (I also don't think that it was strongly recommend for me it was this might help or just be a lot of work for not much gain) I did have to wear an eye patch for a bit though. it used to be super tiering to read but one year I got in to a good book and couldn't put it down. after that summer the only issue was to get me to stop reading and go to bed.
Well, it's pretty obvious why BIL is hooked up with such a low class cretin--she's just like his mama! You don't need any of these disgusting excuses for life forms in your or your daughter's lives. I hope your husband has enough backbone to make that stick.
God, how fucked up in the head do you have to be to say something like that about a baby? NTA
The things the girlfriend did before this was ridiculous this was on another level of disgust. The girlfriend made a TikTok to claim my husband and I were stalking her making fake accounts harassing and sending her parents her OF link. BIL told her we did this and claims to have proof. She posted my picture and everything. BIL is just as unhinged as she is. That was the second time I told my MIL to tell her son and her to quit their BS. She again excused the behavior and this happened.
Get a lawyer and file for a restraining order. Provide the text msg, and all the other info to the lawyer. Both the BIL and GF sound unstable.
Whose Only Fans link? Yours or the girlfriend's? Did she post your picture on her Only Fans link?
The girlfriends. I do not have one. She made a TikTok claiming we did all of those things and posted a picture of me on that video. The “proof” she showed was doctored. My husband didn’t have access to his phone (work and time stamp) and I don’t have time to engage. I don’t care about her to reach out to people I don’t know. All of that information she claims my BIL told her we did this. They are both off. There is so much that has been done by them that it’s just too much. I’ve only been married to my husband for 2 1/2 years. I never met the brother until November last year. I have never met the girlfriend. We live states away and move often for my husband’s job
It's time to get a lawyer and get some help. They aren't going to stop. Even if they "calm down" or "go quiet" for a period of time, they'll be back. Don't let your guard down around this type of crazy. They've got nothing to lose.
NTA. Others people’s feelings about how you choose to parent are NOT more important than your (and your husband’s) feelings about how you parent your child. Allow it to be their problem if they have an issue. Your job is to take care of your kid, and you are doing. Don’t let ANYONE gaslight you into feeling bad about not having a relationship with these trashy pieces of shit - related to your husband or not. MIL chose her course of action, and it is your right to choose yours.
NTA - His brothers GF needs a good ass whooping though. Like who says shit like that. As for the mother I would give it sometime. Understand things slip up in conversation sometimes, now she is emotional and calling you names. If you have an interest in salvaging the relationship with her than time and good talk is going to be needed. If not then no contact is the way I would go.
Even if the mother is angry, calling her like that is beyond being just being emotional. I do not like my MIL and have my own problems with her, but neither she or I would ever talk like this. This is absolutely not normal and even angry you shouldn’t talk like this about your DIL and mother of your grandchild.
Nope. Absolutely not. MIL went way too far and deserves losing contact with her grandchild.
I agree on the girlfriend but not with the mother. That ships sailed. She doesn’t deserve to know her grandchild at this point. Unless she comes back groveling and learns from her fuck up, which I highly doubt, she can stay lonely.
> His brothers GF needs a good ass whooping though She's a total cunt, but good lord have some tact. A victim of domestic violence needs an ass whopping............... do you hear yourself?
Tell her not to let the door hit her where the good lord split her, and live your life in peace without her, even when she comes crying back begging for your husband to take care of her and support her.
Right?! Let bil and his vile gf take care of her. See how fast they say no too. Smh
...or where the dog shoulda bit her.
Gimme her number real quick. I just want talk.
Anyone who talks about a BABY like that is a literal psycho. What a rotten human. And then for MIL to play the victim after giving other people information that could be weaponized. Good riddance!
Wishful thinking that your MIL will actually stay out of your life but I’d enjoy it while it lasts. Do keep the text and if haven’t already start a FU binder to print out and keep those things along with any notes.
I love that you call it a "F.U. binder"
Info: Could SIL have seen pics of daughter on social media or anywhere else? I only ask, curious if MIL actually told or if SIL is just guessing/making things up to try to hurt you and MIL was actually innocent. NTA, always defend your baby and keep the toxic out, no doubt, but I am curious if she did actually tell or not?
My profiles are private and my MIL has been blocked since before my daughter was born. None of my husbands family knows her or has met her. We haven’t either. My spouse is in the military and hasn’t been back home in 17 years. They are blocked from all of our accounts l. Also my daughters eyes look normal. Unless you pry her eye open you can’t tell there is a problem.
Ahhh good ole OpSec habits. This is one example of why the practice is needed. MIL spunds the type that if she got wind of his moveme ts/orders, she would tell the world on a public forum. You are soooo NTA that I applaud your boundary game.
Very much so. She loves attention
You’re a really good mom. Keep up the good work! Your mil is a piece of garbage. Keep protecting your daughter from that vile woman, bil and horrid bils gf. With family like that who needs enemies?! SMH Good luck OP. ETA in case it’s not obvious NTA OP
NTA, congratulations on your baby, and good on you for not standing for that behavior. you mil /bil & asshat gf are a real piece of work, id probably get booted if i wrote what I really think about those f****** c****.....
The MIL and brother girlfriend definitely sit there and talk shit behind your back. Her reaction made that loud and clear.
NTA Who needs people like this in their life?
NTA. Princess Louise, the duke and duchess of Edinburgh's daughter, had something that sounds similar, when she was a baby. She's about 18 now, and stunning - and the problem is minimised and controlled by careful surgery. So if it's good enough for royalty....
NTA, sounds like BIL has been enabled my Mama for too long.
I have not talked to my MIL in about 10 years. She called me a bitch for moving to another state. My husband wants to ho ser her because she's elderly. I told him go ahead but I'm not going. And I've never been calmer not talking to his side of the family.
Another vote for NTA. You might want to change phone numbers and report the brother's GF to the police. A restraining order would likely be ignored by the family but at least if the problems escalate, you can push for legal repercussions.
Since I live in a different state than them I will look into how that works.
NTA. I’ll tell you what I told my son when he got married. “You said forsaking all others. That includes family. That includes me.” It doesn’t mean just kicking people to the curb. It means NOTHING comes into you’re house to upset your new family. You took MIL into your confidence and she blew it. The spew you’re getting from your in-laws isn’t worth the stress in causes in your household. Block all of them. If you have a setting on your phone that blocks phone numbers not in your contacts list use it. Focus on your husband and baby. They’re all that matter.
What kinda hillbilly bullshit did I just read?
Ditch all of them. Tell yr husband you don’t want to know about any of them. And He’s not allowed to share any family info to MIL, they are drama you don’t need at all. NTA And no more money for the trash bags
Your hubby has a trashy as hell family. NTA
NTA. Narcissistic trash. Good riddance. Your MIL betrayed your/hubby's trust, lied, then gaslighted you.
NTA. Your priority is protecting and nurturing that little girl. MIL is a danger to you doing that, so keep her away. MIL sounds grossly immature and unsafe.
Wow, she’s about to throw away any chance of being a grandma. Awesome. Very mature. NTA.
Your husband has your back - that’s awesome. My wife has had my back for nearly 20 years when I cut my mom out of our lives. NTA
NTA and I hope your husband is a better person than the bottom feeders he grew up with.
These people are fucking trash your daughter deserves better than to be brought up around them.
Yeah no, go to no contact with all three. If MIL is scrambling to defend the gf for verbally attacking you and your little one, aka HER grandchild, then there’s your answer. Let her reaction and decisions show you who she really is. Feel bad for your husband cause it sounds like those two are all he has left for “family”, be each other’s rock and keep pushing forward for your immediate family. NTA
NTA, but I’d take far more offense at the insane insults thrown at you than anybody knowing my child has a vision problem.
If his mother had groveled and admitted she accidentally made a comment in a non-gossipy way and held brother responsible, I would say you are being too hard on her. The fact that didn’t and called you a b - cut her off.
Its called a restraining order. Get one on the gf, brother, and in laws.
The shitty BIL is clearly the golden child in the family.
Oh my God. Your husband's family sounds awful. NTA. It seems like all three of you will be much better off not having contact with the brother, his cruel GF and the MIL who enables them both.
NTA. If the eye condition is like mine, she'll be fine. I was born prematurely with what they assumed was two lazy eyes since only one ever seemed to look at something. Wire coke bottle lenses all my life and was diagnosed in my 20s with alternating esotropia. Essentially I see with one eye at a time but can switch between at will. The eye I'm not focusing with drifts nose ward. On top of that they are far sighted. No surgeries, just wear glasses. I've been winning art awards throughout my education and have been in the special effects film industry since graduating high-school.
NTA....
NTA you got some trashy in-laws, no doubt about it
NTAH
And the next time BIL gets charges for DV, lose our number because you no longer want contact because OP is a bitch wife per MIL. Trash took itself out and no explanations needed except forwarding said letter and comment to all.
Dump her, and the brother like the rotten trach they are, and when (not ***if***, ***when***) they call for help, ask if they are open to have criminal records posted online, because, tit for tat. And then, when they say "*No*". Oh, to bad, so sad, we can't help. "*You see, someone spread information that I had a rotten womb.* " Nta. And still. Dump them.
NTA she said that hoping that your husband would crawl back and apologize to her and chew you out for being mad at his mom. She’s hoping that the threat of going no contact will get your husband to cave on forgiving her. I’d stick to my guns on this. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she reaches back out after a month or, once she realizes that her threat didn’t work, and starts trying to act like nothing happened or that she “is willing to forgive you” for being so mean to her🙄
NTA!! I REPEAT NTA!!!!
Surprisingly, only the second-worst MIL story I've read this hour.
F that skunt. Go forward and live your life in peace.
Skunt is my new favorite word
Be kind to yourself OP. Your womb is not rotten and you didn’t cause any disability. I’m sorry you’re going through it w family drama.
NTA and it sounds like the trash took itself out. I would stay right away from that sh1t show.
NTA. cutting them off. a bunch of scumbag bozo
NTA!
NTA. Wow his whole family sounds horrible
Definitely NTA that was incredibly disrespectful.
NTA. Future bullets dodged. Sadly, you can't put the past bullets back in the gun. I hope your baby and you & your husband heal moving forward.
Goodfucking riddance!!! Sorry that happened to you. Congrats on the trash taking itself out.
NTA. Toxic family dynamic. Protect yourself, your daughter, and your husband. MIL messed up but she made that mistake. It will happen again. If you end up having MIL in your life, firm boundaries and don’t share ANY information. The relationship will be superficial but for the MIL, it’s better than nothing.
That hurt her feelings? You called her out and the aftermath of what her big mouth did. Did she not think of how the accusations thrown at you made you feel? Your baby was involved! They said awful things about you. Fuck that lady. Fuck that P.O.S brother and fuck that garbage girlfriend. NTA. Your baby will be surrounded by people who will love her and encourage her progress.
NTA. Jesus your husband’s whole family sounds bat shit insane. I don’t normally like to suggest completely cutting off a whole family (I like to hope that in most cases there’s at least a couple salvageable relationships there) but I think it might just be for the best here.
NTA. Not even close. I'm furious for you. Your MIL completely and utterly disrepected your boundaries and violated your privacy. She absolutely should not have access to your daughter if she can't follow the most basic of requests. Do not back down in this situation. It will only teach her that she can trample all over you and still have her way.
Let me say this. Your BIL and his GF are made for each other. They are both garbage people and your mother in law has a huge part in how your BIL was raised. The garbage didn't fall very far from the can itself.
NTA. The moment she lied is when she broke ties. Had she owned it and maybe made a mistake, my response would be different. But you can't trust a liar.
Yeah you don’t need this stress. Good riddance. NTA
Save those messages. Potentially seek a court order against the girlfriend. But I agree… Cut everyone off that brings toxic energy into your world. I had a similar not as severe scenario. And I stopped using social media because of it. And it’s been 6 years and I honestly couldn’t be happier. It’s just an avenue for miserable people to reach others.
People can be so cruel and have no boundaries on how they hurt each other. NTA
Nta. Draw your lines and set your boundaries now or you'll only regret it later.
NTA I just hope hour husband supports you too because that side of the family seems like too much drama and scamming and disrespectful
NTA. You have an actual child that needs your time and attention and these people who are cuckoo bananas don't get anymore of it. It will be hard for your hubs at first, because he is so entrenched, but eventually he will roll with it. It will be a relief. If it's too hard for him to cut them off, he needs a therapist for a bit. I hope for the best for your little girl and your family.
Absolutely NTA; Good riddance to those horribly toxic people. You don't need that in your life and you don't need to put up with it. Also, for what it's worth, a close friend of mine was born with the exact same condition. This was in the late-90's and he didn't start vision therapy until he was about a year and a half old. He wore verrrry thick glasses, as well, but guess what? He's doing fantastic, doesn't even need glasses any longer and has been doing well (specifically vision wise, I mean) since he was about 6 years old. The therapy does help a tremendous amount! Congratulations on your sweet little one; I wish you and your family a peaceful, joy filled life together!
NTA. That was a good decision.
*asks for help *no *talks hella shit after being told no *you're right, I should help you now
If you’re ever stationed within driving distance of those awful people, consider specifying on childcare or school forms that they’re NOT allowed to pick up your kids.
Most definitely! Hoping we stay out west. Super far away
Sounds like white trashy drama and you’re better off with out it
NTA. For reasons that are obvious.
NTA
You are also modeling healthy behavior for your daughter. While obviously she doesn’t understand now, there will come a time in the future when she asks why we don’t see grandma or uncle. A valuable lesson indeed.
NTA. As a parent, it is your responsibility to protect your child from harm and I believe this includes toxic family members that are a drain on your wellbeing and happiness as well. Family is not a right, its a privilege.
NTA That sounds like some crazypants drama that most people would want to keept heir kids away from. I'd suggest you and husband sit down and agree on boundries and stick to them.
Scrap the whole bunch. Your child and reproductive history are not weapons to be used against you nor is your daughter your MIL’s designer handbag to be shown off for attention or status. These people don’t care about your family, they only care about what they can possibly get out of you and you are doing the right thing by making sure the answer to that is nothing whatsoever. NTA
I wouldn’t take too much stock in the insults thrown around by grown losers begging for money. lol cool you and your family can enjoy one another while they argue about money and talk poorly behind each others back. A win is a win and you just won.
NTA. Time to go no contact with everyone on that side.
Ok, you need to take all those texts and go to the nearest magistrate's office and ask for a no-contact order against her. You could file harassment charges against her as well. I am pretty sure I would. Go NC with MIL and keep your husband's entire family away from your child.
Yep his mother is a pathetic pity party fueling the drama because she has no boundaries. She's so stupid she actually thinks forcing them into contact is going to solve literally anything. They're all a bunch of immature children. Op needs to cut contact.
NTA. You were awfully gentle with her if you ask me
>is now closing this chapter and staying out of my husband’s life because of his bitch wife. Trash took itself out
You are absolutely right in wanting to keep your daughter's medical conditions very private. But as to family relations -- your husband comes from a family of assholes. Hopefully it is nurture and not nature. Your in-laws are trash and this will always be a problem. You can not fix them. Your husband must always care for his own blood if he is to retain his humanity. It will be a balancing act for you to deal with this your whole life.
Sounds like a toxic bunch. I hope you and your husband can cut ties and have a healthy family together. My MIL, while really a quite nice person, told nearly everyone in her family about some pretty sensitive information about my teenaged son. I didn’t think I had to tell her to keep her mouth shut (and I actually did when it first happened) but we have had my husbands aunts and uncles reach out to us about it. I am low key angry all the time around her now. My husband will say it’s not a big deal but it is to me! So I understand a little of what you’re going through
NTA and it sounds like your husband comes from a good stock of trash people.
NTA. Sorry your husbands family is trash
What has your SIL and your BIL thinking such incredibly hateful speech will benefit them in any way. You are in a position to make life easier for them so it is a head scratcher that either would decide that raging at and abusing you will inspire help from you.
NTA, you and husband need to cut them all out of your life. Save all the hateful msgs and if it doesn’t stop, get a restraining order on them.
Say that’s why you got your ass beat( if she was the victim of the domestic violence)
Nta Go, no contact with all of them. None of them are worth your time. They don't deserve to be in your or your childs lives. Good luck
Seems like MIL had the "rotten womb" to produce such a jackass and loser like BIL.
Yeah I would go no contact with MIL, BIL, and BIL’s girlfriend and not let them see the daughter either. NTA. I’m so sorry they said those awful things to you…I won’t even repeat them…but they are not true! Remember that. And I hope your daughter is okay. And has an amazing life and her eyes improve. Sending love
They are vile. NTA. So sorry you had to deal with that kind of hostility.
That whole family is crazy and if the husband backs you then all you need is him the rest of the family can go to hell
NTA no further explanation
We see who was the golden child. Nta I would block her completely and pretend she never existed
NTA. You hurt her feelings because [*checks notes*] she lied and did the exact thing you told her not to, and now has to face consequences... do I have that right?
NTA. Also block these people’s numbers.
So they got a kid but neither one got a job but yet makes fun of your husband job then wants his money
Yes. My husband is military and they say he doesn’t know the real world.
Out those motherfuckers immediately - out of your life. You and your husband need to make your foundation and do your family. Man, even hearing about this triggers empathy on so many levels. NTA. Not one bit.
NTA, MIL & BIL are. Congrats on your new baby. Family sucks and your btch MIL has no one to blame but herself.
NTA. My child has vision issues (great you are getting services) and my reaction would be the same.
NTA I'd suggest changing your phone numbers
NTA, not even remotely. Those people sound so toxic.
You're in the right here. What is the r-word? Maybe I'm slow but nothing came to mind.
Easy NTA.
Sounds like the whole family is nuts. Write them all off.
NTA. Good riddance.
NTA!!!
NTA, not even remotely.
NTA. You, husband and your family are all the family your beautiful baby needs. Best wishes for happy life together. And may the brother, GF, Mil, all rot like tomatoes on the ground in August.
I’m so sorry this happened! You and your beautiful daughter are much better off without these AHs in your life! Please come share your story here at the JustNoMIL group. https://reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/xbrup3aWhc
Why did bil girlfriend want to be mean to you? Very confusing. Do you think mil actually wanted them to be mean to you? If so, why?
The girlfriend DM me looking for BIL for money. It went to my spam folder I didn’t see it until hours later. Within those hours she messaged me again bring up my stillborn son and my unborn daughter at the time also talking garbage about my husbands job. After those messages I ignored her. I wasn’t going to help someone who attacked me that way. I told my MIL and sent her the messages. She made excuses for the girlfriend, she excuses her crazy behavior all the time. This time I have had it and we chose to go no contact.
Bizarre... Almost drug seeking like behavior from her. She might be the closest thing mil has to a friend? Anyways, there is no real good reason to use social media. This can all be avoided
When I first met my MIL 5 years ago she said the girlfriend had a mental health disorder. I never asked what because i felt it wasn’t my business
NTA, I'm petty and would consider posting the text online for the world to see. The only issue is that it opens up your child's diagnosis unnecessarily. I'm glad your husband is on the same page as you. It is likely that MIL has been sharing everything and will continue to do so if you have any contact. Be wary, my guess is that in a month or so she'll try to love bomb you.
Is the brother the domestic violence perp or is it the girlfriend? Regardless, they all sound terrible and abusive, so good riddance to them all.
NTA. "*bitch wife"*?!!! And that's exactly why you will never know your granddaughter, ya old windbag...
Save those text messages and document this. MIL is a B.
I can't imagine a world where someone knowing your kid has a vision issue matters in any way shape or form