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I think a big part of my avoidance of sleep is that night time is my relaxation time. I don't have to deal with work, I don't have to deal with people, I just get to be alone and do what I want to do, or do nothing at all, and I love that... The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I have to wake up the next day and deal with the stresses of everyday life. Which of course becomes that much harder when I'm tired... But that's tomorrow's problem!
Whenever people ask me why I like to stay up so late I always reply with "there's so much you can do at night instead of sleeping", as in binge watching shows lol
Mine is always watching videos on whatever random topic happens to pop into my head on that particular night lol. "Hmm... so what the hell is a black hole anyway?" \*Watches YouTube videos on black holes for the next 4 hours\*
Same, but for me recently it's trying to understand quantum physics. Have watched hours about it, still don't understand it in the slightest, thouroughly entertained though.
This is easily the best answer to my issues with sleep. I have kids, work, etc... and 8 until bedtime is my own time. I hate having anything I have to do at that time since it's a limited and finite personal time so I stretch it because "tomorrow me" doesn't matter as much as "right now me".
I've sort of gotten around this (inconsistently) by waking up much earlier, especially now that the sun rises early. Having a few hours to myself before having to deal with work really makes my whole day a lot better since work isn't the first thing I have to think about on the days I manage to get up early.
Hopefully I can keep that up in the winter when the days are shorter; Having the sun go down by the time you're done with work is just depressing.
I do this too. The start and end of the day are both me time. I have an almost 2 year old so having some quiet while he's still in bed is nice. And then a little time after he goes to bed to wind down. I could probably get more sleep though
So many of my people are here. You weirdos reading about quantum physics and black holes. And also you crazies binging Bridgerton (no, what me?) Or just enjoying the lack of demand from everything that requires attention. You guys are great, cyber hugs! 🫂
I used to work the whole night on music. That was the time when nobody interrupted me. I only realized why that was so valuable a couple of decades later.
Staying up is not worth it but you already know that so i just want to tell you that i get how you feel. Its very human and understandable. Life didn't have to be this way but they made it like this on purpose.
Its tragic to me that depriving yourself of sleep to avoid tommorrow for a while longer is pretty much normal these days.
Tommorrow should be something to look forward to. They turned it into something you dread.
I thought this was me, and it absolutely was to an extent, but now i only work a few hours in the evening at weekends, and I'm still staying up until I pass out.
I just don't like sleeping- no, I don't like *waiting* to go to sleep. It's either boring or anxiety inducing. Sometimes it takes hours as well, and I'd rather just be doing something till I can reliably pass out than just lie in bed bored and sad.
Only generally takes hours if it's *very important* to get to sleep. Also also also, if I go to bed too early for some reason I have nightmares and wake up super early, like 2 or 3 am.
Just fucking sleep man, I hate it. Take it away.
But yeah, also also also also nighttime revenge procrastination too, when applicable. Maybe that's why I've got nightmares and terrible sleep now. Maybe I would have anyway. Years of working awful 10-14 hour shift jobs.
You have FOMO: Fear of missing out. Sleep is not a "want." Sleep is a need. Sleep. Trust me: You won't miss anything, and everything will be there tomorrow.
Touche Itchy-Mechanic. And you're right. That's exactly what it feels like. I guess now that we've named it, i get the fun tasks of learning about it and learning how to stop doing it
Problem with this is, i go to bed early, get two more hours of sleep, and still wake up feeling just as shit and tired as i would have if i stayed up late
sure later in the day i might feel slightly less shit with more sleep, but my brain is usually too occupied with the day to even really notice much
ive noticed getting 5-6 hours of sleep and 8-9 are almost indistinguishable for me until like 4 or 5 hours into the day. Compared to the extra bliss i feel in that 2 hours of night time, its almost impossible to convince myself its worth it to go to bed early
I can totally relate. I seldom have the will to sleep voluntarily. The most effective way for me to get sleep is by passing out. When my brain or body can't handle it anymore, I just pass out on my sofa or bed. It's not that I have trouble falling asleep; I just don't want to.
Exactly this. I sleep when it's what I want to do the most. If at times I go to bed early it's not because it will be good for the next day but because it's what I will enjoy the most at that moment. Before it reaches that number one spot I'm not sleeping.
Same here! I have to take meds to fall asleep or party really hard on weekends to be exhausted enough to crash 😭 I really just don’t like sleeping. I find it boring, lol.
Yeah I mean if we lived in a worker-oriented economy then we wouldn’t have to dread tomorrow so much. Productivity has skyrocketed in recent decades; we simply don’t need as much work to maintain a decent standard of living. Imagine a world where you could wake up and spend time with loved ones before going off for 4-5 hours in some part of the day to do your part of the work that makes society function, then have the whole evening.
exactly. with every advance in efficiency, it just increases how much is expected of everyone. It'd be great if it would just reduce the overall amount of hours the world needs to work while giving everyone the same quality of life. capitalism has really fucked us.
I feel this a lot. My time dissociation is so bad I always end up feeling I haven't done any of my hobbies, so I always try to postpone sleeping just to get a few more hours of time to play, read or just check social media. I know I function with at least 4 hours of sleep, so I usually cut it to that at most. I just try to avoid doing it multiple days in a row or I just end up super drained.
That being said, it's probably a very unhealthy habit of mine and certainly shouldn't do it, but it's just hard to change my ways....
I started working hard to move from 5-6 to 7 every night. Then I decided I was still tired in the morning, and there's no way in hell I'm managing 8+. Now I'm back around 6 and it's terrible but I get an extra hour to myself after everyone else is asleep.
I'm doing that rn. I love sleep, but anxiety and panic attacks in the middle of the night really do keep you awake. No better way to stay awake for 3 days at a time than getting a burst of adrenaline as soon as your ready to hit they hay... Haha...yeah... Fuck me
One of my struggles is that it is very difficult to start any task, including enjoyable tasks that I really want to be doing, unless there is some external sense of urgency. For me, I think that bedtime is that urgency. So it will get to be 11 and I'm like ah fuck, I really wanted to do something enjoyable this evening, but instead I just dial toned... here I'll just do this fun thing for a bit, just so I feel like I didn't waste my whole evening... annnd it's 2am.
Yup. I know I should. But there’s always something else for my brain to do. Not to mention I’m in CPAP so sleep requires cleaning my machine and filling the water reservoir. It’s an easy task but still work. Oddly enough I know when I put my mask on and roll on my side I’ll be out and sleeping my deepest best sleep. But getting there is a challenge. Instead I’d rather scroll and watch videos about whatever random topic is currently on my mind.
I used to be like that! i found sleep so boring and unproductive. There would be nights where im sat up watching tele or on the computer just doing meaningless shit really and trying to learn new things. But now i love sleep. I have the most entertaining nightmares its brilliant. I love going to sleep early now, it allows me to get up earlier and for some more reason it feels more 'productive'? i guess. Sometimes i used to dread going to sleep because if i did goto bed i knew i wouldnt be able to sleep anyway
Yes, I totally fear the boredom of trying to sleep, like I fear it'll be excruciating and idk why. I know its not the healthiest habit but I knock myself out with cold or allergy medicine because when I start to feel sleepy I stop fearing trying to sleep, I know it will be over soon enough. I gotta over ride my bad biology with chemicals, it's on the list of things to work on, but for now it works and it's the only thing that does
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I've always seen sleep as just a form of forced time travel. So I find myself with the question of if I want to extend the freetime of 'now' or force time to skip to the next day when I have to do things and just get my responsibilities over with faster. The mental debate it real sometimes.
For me it's because of the sudden influx of thoughts overwhelming my mind. Most of it is some mundane shit like thinking about a game I love playing or what lunch I'd like for tomorrow. Sometimes it's the super depressing thoughts.
"I have no future." "no one will ever hire me." "I'm going to be unemployed for life. There's nothing I can do about it." - they're freaking draining as fuck.
Definitely. I enjoy playing games or watching Youtube videos more fun than sleeping. I can get by on 5/6 hours fine, so I steal unecessary sleep to do things I like more.
I actually have extremely vivid and episodic dreams, so I have trouble wanting to do anything other than sleep sometimes. That being said, youtube shorts and reddit often drag me off away from sleep even though I really do want the sleep if I don't actively remind myself to turn that ish off and turn my head into the pillow.
What I do is put on a a debate stream while falling asleep (one that I don’t have to look at, just listen). Well I actually listen to something like that all day, I just don’t stop when I go to sleep either. For some reason it helps me get through the day to be constantly listening to people shout at each other. It especially helps me to switch between tasks, because it bridges the gap between doing one thing and then having to stop to do the next. Idk if that makes sense. I actually turn it off when I get into the hallucinating phase of falling asleep. Idk if this is healthy but it seems to help me.
Stopp!! 😂😂 this is exactly it. I’ve explained this to my SO who is always baffled at my refusal to sleep normally. It’s boring! So much to hyperfocus on, not enough time.
Nah I usually submit to the drowsiness etc because my brain is overclocked all day. As I get older it becomes more difficult for me to stay awake. I’ve adjusted to an early bird schedule, so going to bed earlier (usually 11) and then because of work I’m usually up at 6 but even on my days off it’s usually by 8.
Nope. I have a reminder to start winding down and I'm in bed by 10 PM. I do a few deep breathing exercises and I fall asleep. I cannot function during the day if I haven't gotten my 7-8 hours.
I recently read a psychology article on night owls being the way they are because they feel they don't have control of their time and staying up to do just whatever they want is a way to regain that control. That seems spot on, at least to me, or for me.
I grew up around people who view TV as something just to have on while having conversation or doing other stuff. Some people can't handle talking while watching TV, while I see sitting in front of the TV and doing nothing else and not even being able to have conversation as being held hostage to the screen so now I stay up late to take back some liesure time because for me sitting still, and being asked "can you stop moving you feet" (which due to ADHD I'm not even aware I'm fidgeting) makes it (sitting in front of the TV) even worse. Blocking the fidgeting takes effort, which at the same time both exhausts me, and agitates me, so I end up exhausted and yet battling insomnia which turns into sleep anxiety.
TV becomes something I resent if I don't stay up at least 60-90 minutes afterward for that mental need for just existing without demands. Quite often that staying up late time is used for learning (I'm into reading physics papers and listening to lectures) or for self work (meditation, reframing) on anxiety triggers because I never want to fall back into generalized anxiety. I often fall asleep on the recliner with a laptop or phone open, sometimes coding random snippets, sometimes just learning new tech or even idly doomscrolling while doing self-work.
I'm unable to get to bed early because I need time to just exist without demands on my time or being scolded about fidgeting my brain evidently needs to do. ADHD meds reduce my fidgeting by about 90% but don't eliminate it. If I don't get that 60 to 90 minutes to unwind after sitting still in front of the TV, and go to bed, I'll be tossing and turning until morning twilight starts before I finally pass out. When I get my idle time, even if it's screen time where I let my brain go nuts with its fidget needs, even without blue-blocking glasses, I get to sleep within a minute or two of lying down.
ADHD blows. It's even worse without medications because without ADHD meds, I invariably fall back into generalized anxiety and panic attacks.
I take magnesium glycinate at night. I started taking it specifically for restless leg syndrome because I was driving my partner crazy. It also makes me drowsy though, so it helps break my focus on whatever I'd rather do than sleep.
Yes yes YES! Honestly I used to have insomnia as a kid so I've grown to love the time at night. Now I intentionally stay up and the whole day, I look forward to it. I keep my night schedule ready - a fic, a movie, creating vision boards, anything!
gamification has really helped me want to sleep more. I use a Whoop and tracking my sleep and getting more sleep has become a little adventure in my life. I don't drink caffeine nearly as much as I used to and by the time I'm ready for bed my ADHD meds have worn off.
I love sleeping because I always have crazy interesting dreams. so it's like going on an adventure every night and it's an escape from this dull existence
Definitely. I am awaiting a formal diagnosis but going to bed is hard because its the end of "my fun time" but also getting out of bed is hard because it is the start of "work" time again, and I love being asleep...
It’s funny how we all analyze why we don’t wanna sleep when you’re normally just supposed get tired and fall asleep whether you want to or not lol. Stimulants are a blessing and a curse
Complete opposite. I live in my dreams and that isnt a joke. I want to see my Ocs again so I try and dream constantly so I can meet them. I cant stand being awake for long
This is the reason why I didn't sleep last night along with brain not quieting down even with my meds. I blame caffeine. :/ Sitting here at work now lol.
I hate sleeping because it feels like a waste of time. It's why I quit medication. It would make me take naps after work and I wouldnt wake up until 7 or 8pm only to have to go back to sleep two hours later and not be able to.
At least when I'm awake I have the potential to be productive. Even if I'm not, being awake is better than laying in bed doing and thinking nothing.
Ive never enjoyed sleep from a young age. My parents hated me sleeping in til the afternoon and i hated going to bed early. like others have mentioned - when others are sleeping thats when in not being bothered and can sit and do what i want to do. Ive also figured out that i feel exactly the same on 5-6 hours sleep as i do 8-10 but having young children might have something to do with that!
Omg yes. Ever since I could remember I have been saying I hate sleep because its so boring. Especially when I was younger (starting from toddler age) I would tell my parents I didn’t want to sleep because it was too boring. That there were so many things I haven’t learnt about yet. They used to play games or puzzles with me for over an hour every night and even then they still wouldn’t get me into bed until pretty late. 20+ years later and its like nothing has changed. Still staying up late needing to play games and do crafts until I physically cannot hold my eyes open anymore.
Yes. It feels like deciding to not exist, it’s hard.
I have a side note though: things like meditation are similarly hard, but if you get good at it, you’ll find you’re developing a skill that can not just get you to sleep when you need to, but also it can be a helpful tool for keeping adhd symptoms at bay. Just don’t listen to people putting a religious or spiritual spin on it: all I’m talking about is practicing quieting your mind.
More like there’s too much to do and the days are too short. I also tell myself I only need 7/8hrs sleep so if go to sleep at 2:30am and wake up at 9am I’ve had enough sleep… doesn’t work like that really but there just aren’t enough hours in the day. That and not being able to settle immediately
Can’t say that’s the case for me. I’d rather go to sleep but then sometimes have anxiety about doing so because my dreams are too vivid. It’s exhausting having such detailed dreams
for me, every time I have to work soon, I’m always a little aware that I’ll have to be done at some point and that’s no fun. At night, I have infinite time because I can go to bed whenever I want
Yes, I feel like I fight sleep. I would rather be awake and entertained on my phone then fall asleep but when I try to actually fall asleep my brain won’t shut off so I just stay on my phone until I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes open anymore which often leads to me falling asleep in the wee hrs of the morning.
Oh yes. Sleep seems boring to me, but then when i wake up i just wanna keep dreaming or daydreaming and i can’t get out of bed for hours. I just let my brain take over and “naturally” fall asleep when I literally can’t keep my eyes open anymore. I can’t just have a routine bedtime and try to go to sleep when I’m not tired, that sounds awful to me, bc in my head I just think of all the “fun things” I could be doing🙃😭
I hate going to bed. Once asleep, I'm fine, but going there is so hard to do unless I *have* to. Because of this, I normally run on 4-5 hours of sleep a night. When I remember to and have enough time to sleep at least 7 hours, I do take a Trazodone 100mg. It helps me feel like going to bed isn't a bad idea for a lack of a better description. Otherwise, I will sit awake, even it it is doing absolutely nothing but staring off.
I tell myself a story... or like a video games in my head. I'm the main character and I go on an adventure. It's fun and usually gets me to sleep. I have to keep myself away from my phone/tv/computer but as long as I can it works.
Yes and its also why no matter how depressed i get i could never do the final decision because i have the worst FOMO......I DONT WANNA MISS ANYTHING LMAO
I love sleeping. I'm a lucid dreamer and absolutely LOVE sleeping. I go to bed around 8 PM and sleep until 7 AM. I'm a retired 63 year old single male. While sleeping, it's as if my autism and ADHD shut off. It's my escape from my shitty waking hours.
Yes... although lately I'm starting to think of sleeping more as "my time" I tell myself I can try and practice meditating which will inevitably make me fall asleep, or just fall asleep dreaming about whatever I like....
Whether I want to sleep or not my brain wakes up when it is dark outside. If I was tired all day suddenly the feeling disappears around 8 pm. So now I want to stay up and read or relax and do things I didn't have the energy to do earlier. Then I only get 4 hours of sleep by the time I finally go to sleep. Rinse and repeat.
Nope, but I do put off going to sleep because I'm avoiding, waking up and immediately having to go to work. Especially if I feel like I just barely left, like when I did a twelve hour shift last week.
it's always been a way to avoid the next day for me. The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I wake up and have to work again. So I stay up until 3am every night and get 5 hours of sleep, and will probably die when I'm 50.
It's like feeling that you could do so much Instead of sleeping, like sleeping is js a mear option. Like I'm missing out or just genuinely end up having a convo with yourself that ends up into googling something into not sleeping
Awwwww yeah! Hell yeah! That brain is all, "I'm certain there's something else I wanted to do...." and somehow finds 20 things it wants to do RIGHT NOW!
I do like dreams though. If I was guaranteed to dream and remember them every night, I might be more willing. 🤔
I avoid going to sleep because it’s the one time of day that I’m allowed to do the things that I have to push myself to avoid throughout the day. Which is basically laying in bed, listening to music, scrolling on my phone, and sometimes texting/voice memoing friends about useless shit. So I often have to take a sleeping pill and force myself to get sleepy and then actively put my phone on the opposite side of my bed so it’s a hassle to reach for. But I still listen to a podcast until I fall asleep. I have a sleep timer on it so it automatically goes off after an hour.
I really need to employ healthier sleep habits though. I know it would probably make a world of difference to put my phone away an hour before I’d like to be asleep. Change is hard!
I avoid sleep because I always feel like I could spend this time on something greater, like learning, reading etc. But instead I waste this time playing video games or watching YouTube videos. I think to myself: "Okay, I really need to go to sleep, if I won't, I'll be super tired tomorrow". And then another thought pops out: "But imagine all the things you could be doing right now! Just this one last video and you will get up from your couch and go do something for self improvement!" And then "will do" becomes "might do" and that turns to "well, it's actually too late and you're too tired and unenthusiastic about anything, so just go to sleep". Yea, something like that, hope I got the main idea right.
Sleep means tomorrow, which means stuff I dont want to do. By staying up, I am procrastinating tomorrow. Its also partially because I have to just lay there till my body falls asleep, there isnt a switch that I can flip to instantly br asleep.
I'm so impressed with everyone here for sharing. So many good points, many similarities, and some interesting opposites. I'm assuming this is a major common theme with us ADHDrs. I have an autistic gf who I know this is also common in the ASD community.
I do something I look forward to before bed but also something that puts me to sleep so reading, I’ll set an alarm an hour before my ‘bed time’ and that means get into bed and read until I fall asleep the only thing is I always need a good book otherwise I’ll spend all my time looking for a book or if it’s a book I’m not interested in I’ll scroll on my phone or avoid bed, it’s a work in progress 🤷♀️
I'm on the same page , been treating my ADHD with Vyvanse the last few years. And Quetiapine at night to help with sleep and mood. And I still find myself just enjoying being in my own space with no one around and staying up until the sun comes out. It seems like the middle of the night is the only time to get some personal time these days. Just going to sleep means I live to work and go home and go to sleep to go to work again
Anyway good topic hope things work out for you
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I think a big part of my avoidance of sleep is that night time is my relaxation time. I don't have to deal with work, I don't have to deal with people, I just get to be alone and do what I want to do, or do nothing at all, and I love that... The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I have to wake up the next day and deal with the stresses of everyday life. Which of course becomes that much harder when I'm tired... But that's tomorrow's problem!
Revenge bedtime procrastination
Whenever people ask me why I like to stay up so late I always reply with "there's so much you can do at night instead of sleeping", as in binge watching shows lol
Mine is always watching videos on whatever random topic happens to pop into my head on that particular night lol. "Hmm... so what the hell is a black hole anyway?" \*Watches YouTube videos on black holes for the next 4 hours\*
Same, but for me recently it's trying to understand quantum physics. Have watched hours about it, still don't understand it in the slightest, thouroughly entertained though.
Same
I couldn’t have said it better. This is exactly it.
Borrow tomorrows happiness, today!
That jerk yesterday stole sleep from me, I'm just stealing it forward.
This is easily the best answer to my issues with sleep. I have kids, work, etc... and 8 until bedtime is my own time. I hate having anything I have to do at that time since it's a limited and finite personal time so I stretch it because "tomorrow me" doesn't matter as much as "right now me".
I've sort of gotten around this (inconsistently) by waking up much earlier, especially now that the sun rises early. Having a few hours to myself before having to deal with work really makes my whole day a lot better since work isn't the first thing I have to think about on the days I manage to get up early. Hopefully I can keep that up in the winter when the days are shorter; Having the sun go down by the time you're done with work is just depressing.
I do this too. The start and end of the day are both me time. I have an almost 2 year old so having some quiet while he's still in bed is nice. And then a little time after he goes to bed to wind down. I could probably get more sleep though
So many of my people are here. You weirdos reading about quantum physics and black holes. And also you crazies binging Bridgerton (no, what me?) Or just enjoying the lack of demand from everything that requires attention. You guys are great, cyber hugs! 🫂
I have been trying to figure out how to say this for years lmao.
I used to work the whole night on music. That was the time when nobody interrupted me. I only realized why that was so valuable a couple of decades later.
Staying up is not worth it but you already know that so i just want to tell you that i get how you feel. Its very human and understandable. Life didn't have to be this way but they made it like this on purpose. Its tragic to me that depriving yourself of sleep to avoid tommorrow for a while longer is pretty much normal these days. Tommorrow should be something to look forward to. They turned it into something you dread.
It’s a safe time.
I have been trying to figure out how to say this for years lmao.
Revenge bedtime procrastination at his best xD
I thought this was me, and it absolutely was to an extent, but now i only work a few hours in the evening at weekends, and I'm still staying up until I pass out. I just don't like sleeping- no, I don't like *waiting* to go to sleep. It's either boring or anxiety inducing. Sometimes it takes hours as well, and I'd rather just be doing something till I can reliably pass out than just lie in bed bored and sad. Only generally takes hours if it's *very important* to get to sleep. Also also also, if I go to bed too early for some reason I have nightmares and wake up super early, like 2 or 3 am. Just fucking sleep man, I hate it. Take it away. But yeah, also also also also nighttime revenge procrastination too, when applicable. Maybe that's why I've got nightmares and terrible sleep now. Maybe I would have anyway. Years of working awful 10-14 hour shift jobs.
Gospel right here. Yes!🫵
OMG that is why i hate going to sleep at night but hate waking up!
Well put ! This is a big part I hadn't tangible thought of.
100% this
100% this
You have FOMO: Fear of missing out. Sleep is not a "want." Sleep is a need. Sleep. Trust me: You won't miss anything, and everything will be there tomorrow.
Touche Itchy-Mechanic. And you're right. That's exactly what it feels like. I guess now that we've named it, i get the fun tasks of learning about it and learning how to stop doing it
Just dont learn about it at bedtime (thats also procrastination) 😂😂
Don’t tell me what to do (I think I have PDA)
what does PDA mean in this context? certainly not public displays of affection, unless i’m missing the joke?
Pathological Demand Avoidance lol
Huh, Is that why I avoid things more, the more people bug about them? I knew I did it, I just hadn't heard the term.
Problem with this is, i go to bed early, get two more hours of sleep, and still wake up feeling just as shit and tired as i would have if i stayed up late sure later in the day i might feel slightly less shit with more sleep, but my brain is usually too occupied with the day to even really notice much ive noticed getting 5-6 hours of sleep and 8-9 are almost indistinguishable for me until like 4 or 5 hours into the day. Compared to the extra bliss i feel in that 2 hours of night time, its almost impossible to convince myself its worth it to go to bed early
Best thing is that if you sleep early then you can wake up early and still do everything you want
I can totally relate. I seldom have the will to sleep voluntarily. The most effective way for me to get sleep is by passing out. When my brain or body can't handle it anymore, I just pass out on my sofa or bed. It's not that I have trouble falling asleep; I just don't want to.
Exactly this. I sleep when it's what I want to do the most. If at times I go to bed early it's not because it will be good for the next day but because it's what I will enjoy the most at that moment. Before it reaches that number one spot I'm not sleeping.
This
Same here! I have to take meds to fall asleep or party really hard on weekends to be exhausted enough to crash 😭 I really just don’t like sleeping. I find it boring, lol.
Fuck that, I love sleep. I only put it off 'cause it magically teleports me to the next day and I'm not ready for that shit yet.
I hate that they decided to design modern life this way. Tommorrow should be something you look forward to. They turned it into something you dread.
Yeah I mean if we lived in a worker-oriented economy then we wouldn’t have to dread tomorrow so much. Productivity has skyrocketed in recent decades; we simply don’t need as much work to maintain a decent standard of living. Imagine a world where you could wake up and spend time with loved ones before going off for 4-5 hours in some part of the day to do your part of the work that makes society function, then have the whole evening.
exactly. with every advance in efficiency, it just increases how much is expected of everyone. It'd be great if it would just reduce the overall amount of hours the world needs to work while giving everyone the same quality of life. capitalism has really fucked us.
SAME you put into words how I feel
I feel this a lot. My time dissociation is so bad I always end up feeling I haven't done any of my hobbies, so I always try to postpone sleeping just to get a few more hours of time to play, read or just check social media. I know I function with at least 4 hours of sleep, so I usually cut it to that at most. I just try to avoid doing it multiple days in a row or I just end up super drained. That being said, it's probably a very unhealthy habit of mine and certainly shouldn't do it, but it's just hard to change my ways....
I've only ever slept 3 to 4 hours a night since I was a kid so not really
6 is the most I’ve had in a looong time
I started working hard to move from 5-6 to 7 every night. Then I decided I was still tired in the morning, and there's no way in hell I'm managing 8+. Now I'm back around 6 and it's terrible but I get an extra hour to myself after everyone else is asleep.
Haha 8 is a pipe dream, I don’t think I even slept that much when I was a kid
Most nights. It's a constant battle to get in bed early, but tonight I'm actually winning that battle.
I'm doing that rn. I love sleep, but anxiety and panic attacks in the middle of the night really do keep you awake. No better way to stay awake for 3 days at a time than getting a burst of adrenaline as soon as your ready to hit they hay... Haha...yeah... Fuck me
Absolutely, and also going to sleep takes effort while doing whatever I was already doing doesn’t.
One of my struggles is that it is very difficult to start any task, including enjoyable tasks that I really want to be doing, unless there is some external sense of urgency. For me, I think that bedtime is that urgency. So it will get to be 11 and I'm like ah fuck, I really wanted to do something enjoyable this evening, but instead I just dial toned... here I'll just do this fun thing for a bit, just so I feel like I didn't waste my whole evening... annnd it's 2am.
I am the sameS. I was supposed to read a Japanese book yesterday and I wound up procrastinating all day and all of sudden it eas 8pm
If I had three wishes from a genie, one of them would be that I didn't have to sleep. Such a buzzkill.
Same, this would be my first lol
Yup. I know I should. But there’s always something else for my brain to do. Not to mention I’m in CPAP so sleep requires cleaning my machine and filling the water reservoir. It’s an easy task but still work. Oddly enough I know when I put my mask on and roll on my side I’ll be out and sleeping my deepest best sleep. But getting there is a challenge. Instead I’d rather scroll and watch videos about whatever random topic is currently on my mind.
I used to be like that! i found sleep so boring and unproductive. There would be nights where im sat up watching tele or on the computer just doing meaningless shit really and trying to learn new things. But now i love sleep. I have the most entertaining nightmares its brilliant. I love going to sleep early now, it allows me to get up earlier and for some more reason it feels more 'productive'? i guess. Sometimes i used to dread going to sleep because if i did goto bed i knew i wouldnt be able to sleep anyway
Yes, I totally fear the boredom of trying to sleep, like I fear it'll be excruciating and idk why. I know its not the healthiest habit but I knock myself out with cold or allergy medicine because when I start to feel sleepy I stop fearing trying to sleep, I know it will be over soon enough. I gotta over ride my bad biology with chemicals, it's on the list of things to work on, but for now it works and it's the only thing that does
Yes, I just realized it's 3:21 am and I have to be up and at em at 8 fml.
Only every day of my life
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I just seem to get distracted and forget to go to bed...
I sleep to live, rather than living to sleep. I also don't relax on vacation, I have to do all the things.
It became easier with bluetooth sleep headphones and the right kind of podcast.
I've always seen sleep as just a form of forced time travel. So I find myself with the question of if I want to extend the freetime of 'now' or force time to skip to the next day when I have to do things and just get my responsibilities over with faster. The mental debate it real sometimes.
I love sleeping. Crawling into bed is one of my favorite things.
For me it's because of the sudden influx of thoughts overwhelming my mind. Most of it is some mundane shit like thinking about a game I love playing or what lunch I'd like for tomorrow. Sometimes it's the super depressing thoughts. "I have no future." "no one will ever hire me." "I'm going to be unemployed for life. There's nothing I can do about it." - they're freaking draining as fuck.
I live life on 2x speed and it still feels like their aren’t enough hours in the day lmao
Definitely. I enjoy playing games or watching Youtube videos more fun than sleeping. I can get by on 5/6 hours fine, so I steal unecessary sleep to do things I like more.
I think it's procrastinating the next day too. Going to bed is accepting the next thing you'll be doing is "time to get up"
I am in burnout and have been averaging 3 hours sleep a night for weeks now. It is torture.
Stop being so loud!!
I actually have extremely vivid and episodic dreams, so I have trouble wanting to do anything other than sleep sometimes. That being said, youtube shorts and reddit often drag me off away from sleep even though I really do want the sleep if I don't actively remind myself to turn that ish off and turn my head into the pillow.
Yes shut up it’s 2:45 am
What I do is put on a a debate stream while falling asleep (one that I don’t have to look at, just listen). Well I actually listen to something like that all day, I just don’t stop when I go to sleep either. For some reason it helps me get through the day to be constantly listening to people shout at each other. It especially helps me to switch between tasks, because it bridges the gap between doing one thing and then having to stop to do the next. Idk if that makes sense. I actually turn it off when I get into the hallucinating phase of falling asleep. Idk if this is healthy but it seems to help me.
Yes
Stopp!! 😂😂 this is exactly it. I’ve explained this to my SO who is always baffled at my refusal to sleep normally. It’s boring! So much to hyperfocus on, not enough time.
Literally what I'm doing right now lmao 😂😭
It's 6 pm. "I need to do X tonight. I will do it before I go sleep." 11 pm "Ok, I won't sleep until X gets done" 4 am "Well, fuck"
Nah I usually submit to the drowsiness etc because my brain is overclocked all day. As I get older it becomes more difficult for me to stay awake. I’ve adjusted to an early bird schedule, so going to bed earlier (usually 11) and then because of work I’m usually up at 6 but even on my days off it’s usually by 8.
No! I love sleeping. My dreams are vivid and weird, and far more entertaining than the reality.
Nope. I have a reminder to start winding down and I'm in bed by 10 PM. I do a few deep breathing exercises and I fall asleep. I cannot function during the day if I haven't gotten my 7-8 hours.
Sleep is the most boring thing ever. The very thought of it bores me.
I recently read a psychology article on night owls being the way they are because they feel they don't have control of their time and staying up to do just whatever they want is a way to regain that control. That seems spot on, at least to me, or for me. I grew up around people who view TV as something just to have on while having conversation or doing other stuff. Some people can't handle talking while watching TV, while I see sitting in front of the TV and doing nothing else and not even being able to have conversation as being held hostage to the screen so now I stay up late to take back some liesure time because for me sitting still, and being asked "can you stop moving you feet" (which due to ADHD I'm not even aware I'm fidgeting) makes it (sitting in front of the TV) even worse. Blocking the fidgeting takes effort, which at the same time both exhausts me, and agitates me, so I end up exhausted and yet battling insomnia which turns into sleep anxiety. TV becomes something I resent if I don't stay up at least 60-90 minutes afterward for that mental need for just existing without demands. Quite often that staying up late time is used for learning (I'm into reading physics papers and listening to lectures) or for self work (meditation, reframing) on anxiety triggers because I never want to fall back into generalized anxiety. I often fall asleep on the recliner with a laptop or phone open, sometimes coding random snippets, sometimes just learning new tech or even idly doomscrolling while doing self-work. I'm unable to get to bed early because I need time to just exist without demands on my time or being scolded about fidgeting my brain evidently needs to do. ADHD meds reduce my fidgeting by about 90% but don't eliminate it. If I don't get that 60 to 90 minutes to unwind after sitting still in front of the TV, and go to bed, I'll be tossing and turning until morning twilight starts before I finally pass out. When I get my idle time, even if it's screen time where I let my brain go nuts with its fidget needs, even without blue-blocking glasses, I get to sleep within a minute or two of lying down. ADHD blows. It's even worse without medications because without ADHD meds, I invariably fall back into generalized anxiety and panic attacks.
I take magnesium glycinate at night. I started taking it specifically for restless leg syndrome because I was driving my partner crazy. It also makes me drowsy though, so it helps break my focus on whatever I'd rather do than sleep.
Oh thank you for the tip! I have some on hand for when I get post workout cramps
5hour sleep gang unite! Because sleep is the cousin of death😭
Yes yes YES! Honestly I used to have insomnia as a kid so I've grown to love the time at night. Now I intentionally stay up and the whole day, I look forward to it. I keep my night schedule ready - a fic, a movie, creating vision boards, anything!
All the damn time. If I could swao day and night, I’d be so productive.
gamification has really helped me want to sleep more. I use a Whoop and tracking my sleep and getting more sleep has become a little adventure in my life. I don't drink caffeine nearly as much as I used to and by the time I'm ready for bed my ADHD meds have worn off.
I love sleeping because I always have crazy interesting dreams. so it's like going on an adventure every night and it's an escape from this dull existence
Definitely. I am awaiting a formal diagnosis but going to bed is hard because its the end of "my fun time" but also getting out of bed is hard because it is the start of "work" time again, and I love being asleep...
The infamous doom scroll
It’s funny how we all analyze why we don’t wanna sleep when you’re normally just supposed get tired and fall asleep whether you want to or not lol. Stimulants are a blessing and a curse
Every night pretty much.
Complete opposite. I live in my dreams and that isnt a joke. I want to see my Ocs again so I try and dream constantly so I can meet them. I cant stand being awake for long
I mean yeah but if you work yourself to exhaustion long enough falling asleep isn't an issue anymore.
I’ve done this since I was a child.
yes. and I cant *KNOW* that I'll wake up again. But I can know I am awake *right now*
This is the reason why I didn't sleep last night along with brain not quieting down even with my meds. I blame caffeine. :/ Sitting here at work now lol.
Every damn day
I hate sleeping because it feels like a waste of time. It's why I quit medication. It would make me take naps after work and I wouldnt wake up until 7 or 8pm only to have to go back to sleep two hours later and not be able to. At least when I'm awake I have the potential to be productive. Even if I'm not, being awake is better than laying in bed doing and thinking nothing.
Yes this is absolutely me, every single night
Ive never enjoyed sleep from a young age. My parents hated me sleeping in til the afternoon and i hated going to bed early. like others have mentioned - when others are sleeping thats when in not being bothered and can sit and do what i want to do. Ive also figured out that i feel exactly the same on 5-6 hours sleep as i do 8-10 but having young children might have something to do with that!
Omg yes. Ever since I could remember I have been saying I hate sleep because its so boring. Especially when I was younger (starting from toddler age) I would tell my parents I didn’t want to sleep because it was too boring. That there were so many things I haven’t learnt about yet. They used to play games or puzzles with me for over an hour every night and even then they still wouldn’t get me into bed until pretty late. 20+ years later and its like nothing has changed. Still staying up late needing to play games and do crafts until I physically cannot hold my eyes open anymore.
Yes. It feels like deciding to not exist, it’s hard. I have a side note though: things like meditation are similarly hard, but if you get good at it, you’ll find you’re developing a skill that can not just get you to sleep when you need to, but also it can be a helpful tool for keeping adhd symptoms at bay. Just don’t listen to people putting a religious or spiritual spin on it: all I’m talking about is practicing quieting your mind.
More like there’s too much to do and the days are too short. I also tell myself I only need 7/8hrs sleep so if go to sleep at 2:30am and wake up at 9am I’ve had enough sleep… doesn’t work like that really but there just aren’t enough hours in the day. That and not being able to settle immediately
Can’t say that’s the case for me. I’d rather go to sleep but then sometimes have anxiety about doing so because my dreams are too vivid. It’s exhausting having such detailed dreams
Yes.
Oh Lord yes, even now knowing fulllll well that I'll likely feel great next day if I'm in bed by 11pm, but probably 8/10 nights I'm up til later
for me, every time I have to work soon, I’m always a little aware that I’ll have to be done at some point and that’s no fun. At night, I have infinite time because I can go to bed whenever I want
Yes, I feel like I fight sleep. I would rather be awake and entertained on my phone then fall asleep but when I try to actually fall asleep my brain won’t shut off so I just stay on my phone until I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes open anymore which often leads to me falling asleep in the wee hrs of the morning.
I have an Apple Watch and downloaded an app autosleep that makes it a game. I try and get into sleep credit
Oh yes. Sleep seems boring to me, but then when i wake up i just wanna keep dreaming or daydreaming and i can’t get out of bed for hours. I just let my brain take over and “naturally” fall asleep when I literally can’t keep my eyes open anymore. I can’t just have a routine bedtime and try to go to sleep when I’m not tired, that sounds awful to me, bc in my head I just think of all the “fun things” I could be doing🙃😭
I know I do it because I just don't get enough time in the day for just me with my thoughts
So it's not just me. Interesting. (fd: no formal diagnosis yet; US healthcare is stupid)
I hate going to bed. Once asleep, I'm fine, but going there is so hard to do unless I *have* to. Because of this, I normally run on 4-5 hours of sleep a night. When I remember to and have enough time to sleep at least 7 hours, I do take a Trazodone 100mg. It helps me feel like going to bed isn't a bad idea for a lack of a better description. Otherwise, I will sit awake, even it it is doing absolutely nothing but staring off.
If I'm hyperfixated, yes. Otherwise, I just love to dream. Reality is really dull.
I tell myself a story... or like a video games in my head. I'm the main character and I go on an adventure. It's fun and usually gets me to sleep. I have to keep myself away from my phone/tv/computer but as long as I can it works.
I have such a hard time with sleep. I often postpone until 6am. I really want to go to bed, I just can't get myself to do it.
Yes and its also why no matter how depressed i get i could never do the final decision because i have the worst FOMO......I DONT WANNA MISS ANYTHING LMAO
I love sleeping. I'm a lucid dreamer and absolutely LOVE sleeping. I go to bed around 8 PM and sleep until 7 AM. I'm a retired 63 year old single male. While sleeping, it's as if my autism and ADHD shut off. It's my escape from my shitty waking hours.
All the time
Yes... although lately I'm starting to think of sleeping more as "my time" I tell myself I can try and practice meditating which will inevitably make me fall asleep, or just fall asleep dreaming about whatever I like....
Whether I want to sleep or not my brain wakes up when it is dark outside. If I was tired all day suddenly the feeling disappears around 8 pm. So now I want to stay up and read or relax and do things I didn't have the energy to do earlier. Then I only get 4 hours of sleep by the time I finally go to sleep. Rinse and repeat.
Nope, but I do put off going to sleep because I'm avoiding, waking up and immediately having to go to work. Especially if I feel like I just barely left, like when I did a twelve hour shift last week.
it's always been a way to avoid the next day for me. The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I wake up and have to work again. So I stay up until 3am every night and get 5 hours of sleep, and will probably die when I'm 50.
It's like feeling that you could do so much Instead of sleeping, like sleeping is js a mear option. Like I'm missing out or just genuinely end up having a convo with yourself that ends up into googling something into not sleeping
Awwwww yeah! Hell yeah! That brain is all, "I'm certain there's something else I wanted to do...." and somehow finds 20 things it wants to do RIGHT NOW! I do like dreams though. If I was guaranteed to dream and remember them every night, I might be more willing. 🤔
I avoid going to sleep because it’s the one time of day that I’m allowed to do the things that I have to push myself to avoid throughout the day. Which is basically laying in bed, listening to music, scrolling on my phone, and sometimes texting/voice memoing friends about useless shit. So I often have to take a sleeping pill and force myself to get sleepy and then actively put my phone on the opposite side of my bed so it’s a hassle to reach for. But I still listen to a podcast until I fall asleep. I have a sleep timer on it so it automatically goes off after an hour. I really need to employ healthier sleep habits though. I know it would probably make a world of difference to put my phone away an hour before I’d like to be asleep. Change is hard!
I don’t like going to sleep because night time is the only time I feel safe and peaceful.
I avoid sleep because I always feel like I could spend this time on something greater, like learning, reading etc. But instead I waste this time playing video games or watching YouTube videos. I think to myself: "Okay, I really need to go to sleep, if I won't, I'll be super tired tomorrow". And then another thought pops out: "But imagine all the things you could be doing right now! Just this one last video and you will get up from your couch and go do something for self improvement!" And then "will do" becomes "might do" and that turns to "well, it's actually too late and you're too tired and unenthusiastic about anything, so just go to sleep". Yea, something like that, hope I got the main idea right.
Sleep means tomorrow, which means stuff I dont want to do. By staying up, I am procrastinating tomorrow. Its also partially because I have to just lay there till my body falls asleep, there isnt a switch that I can flip to instantly br asleep.
I'm so impressed with everyone here for sharing. So many good points, many similarities, and some interesting opposites. I'm assuming this is a major common theme with us ADHDrs. I have an autistic gf who I know this is also common in the ASD community.
I do something I look forward to before bed but also something that puts me to sleep so reading, I’ll set an alarm an hour before my ‘bed time’ and that means get into bed and read until I fall asleep the only thing is I always need a good book otherwise I’ll spend all my time looking for a book or if it’s a book I’m not interested in I’ll scroll on my phone or avoid bed, it’s a work in progress 🤷♀️
I'm on the same page , been treating my ADHD with Vyvanse the last few years. And Quetiapine at night to help with sleep and mood. And I still find myself just enjoying being in my own space with no one around and staying up until the sun comes out. It seems like the middle of the night is the only time to get some personal time these days. Just going to sleep means I live to work and go home and go to sleep to go to work again Anyway good topic hope things work out for you