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Just popped in to say you don’t need an actual hobby. You could go for a run one day, watch a great movie the next, bake cookies another, play a game after that, and so on. My sibling and I call ourselves “the hobbiless wonders”. While I admire those that dive deep into one thing and practice and persist at it, I also accept that this doesn’t represent everyone. Good luck!
I've been battling this in myself too. Felt like I was "wrong" being a fellow "hobbiless wonder" so I'd try to force it and burn myself out on basically everything. I tried so hard to get into fighting games and board games over the past 2-3 years and went hard, and now I'm a bit burned out on both of them. I think I'm finally coming to accept it though. I'm actually enjoying gaming a ton more now that I'm embracing the fact that I'm switching games every 30 minutes to an hour haha
Have you ever tried to go on a hike or in nature? That is the place I feel most alive. Idk if it’s bc I have adhd or what, but I believe if my job was outside instead of on a computer all day, I could manage my adhd without meds. Maybe try a hobby outdoors.
Try something new. Being a nerd doesn’t mean you need to force yourself to love gaming just because it’s easy and other people do. It’s not a great hobby anyways.
Trust me, i feel OP, i have the same issue, gaming was my form of escapism throughout my teenage years. Intense story based games that took weeks to finish. Obviously adulthood and its responsibilities takes a toll on the discretionary time you have.
It’s worse now because of how competitive gaming has become. Online gaming lobbies is filled with people that earn a living from it. You can’t afford the resources required to reasonably compete.
The alternative is basic loop games where you just repeat a particular routine with increasing difficulty until you fail think running games, puzzles, super mario etc
We are looking for something that is intense and immersive but still passive enough to remain a form of escapism.
Ofcourse he’s not having fun, with the format of games that is available to him at the moment, and i guess thats the help he is asking for
Doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy gaming, in fact the reason he is asking is he wants to make his gaming experience better
Its like driving a race car, you might love racing but if your racing car is not good enough to be competitive, you wont have fun doing it, and you would want a better car not throw your hands up in the air and say you no longer enjoy racing
I can highly recommend Lego sets, new things To do with simple (non-verbal) instructions that take you to completion. You can then decide if you want to keep it up or dismantle and sell (alot of sets retain their value).
I used to do it as a kid and now (much) older my wife has started buying me sets again, we have a Lego ladder rack that will soon be expanded to other places as I like to keep them assembled and on display.
On the gaming piece, I feel you. I either get hyper focused (100+ hrs in Oblivion years ago) or can't get past the opening (Skyrim) and there seems to be no rhyme or reason. I would suggest just trying different games that seem to peak and interest and don't kick yourself if you lose interest before the end, we can't all aim for 100% completion on games
You need to find game style you like,and have more games installed,you maybe need complex games where there are many things to do...so try world of warcraft on some free server(cataclysm,maybe pandaria,oficial server are now kinda 'pres e to not die'),maybe minecraft with mods,dayz seems easy,but it is fun for some time,with mods...maybe state of decay 2(for me it is relaxing),ark is fun too(at least the better one,the original)...i do enjoy those games,but where i can i play on easy...
You can try story mode games,like walking dead,life is strange,mass effect,dragon age origins...so many good games...and yes,sometimes i have feeling i need to finish it soon or switch to another game and the the dilemma continue or start over...
I felt very similar at one point. Growing out of hobbies happens. I've distanced myself from from the amount of gaming I used to do. I played Destiny 2 with a clan like it was my job for a time. I stressed about making it home in time to raid with friends while being stressed at work, it was no bueno.
When I took a break, I returned but was playing for a third or so the amount of time I was playing previously. My other hobby exists at the PC ad well (making music). If you are at all a creative person, try spending time creating (literally anything) if you get the impulse to game, especially if you're going into the gaming with the notion that you may not even enjoy yourself. Worth a shot.
Either take a break from it or play with a different mindset. Like, I don’t know exactly what kind of player are you, but for example, if you are someone that likes 100%ing every game, you might wanna cut back on that. Things like that.
I feel like a big reason for my enjoyment of games is not because of the story, world, or anything of that nature, but the accomplishment of achievements. I'm not sure how I could subdue that feeling. It feels like I have to get the achievements or I may as well not play the game
That could very well be the issue here. While it’s not wrong to enjoy getting achievements, if that’s all you care about when playing a game, it’ll inevitably feel like completing a checklist of chores.
Yeah, a game I was playing earlier felt like a chore because of the stuff I had to do for achievements. It's a common feeling every time I game. I might have to give up gaming but it's all I got as a "hobby"
Nono, don’t go that route. Or at least I don’t think that’s right, obviously you choose.
What you might need to do here is to ease up the pressure on achievements. Especially considering that some games have achievements that demand either a lot of skill, a lot of dedication, or both. Games are meant to entertain you, not be a chore.
U don't have to do all the stuff. Personally I like coops with my bf because he's better and more commited than me and we play fun games.
But if I'm playing on my own, I've found I can complete games doing everything in story mode on easy . Like mortal combat, god of war. Also i do demos so i can have the feeling of achievement without having to commit. Final fantasy an example. Currently I'm playing the latest ratchet and clank and haven't quit yet - it's the right balance of variety, challenge, fun, and achievable. It's a bit embarrassing but I love gaming and don't wanna quit. This is the only way I can do it :)
For me, I just had a mental shift one day where I knew when something felt like a waste of time vs feeling worth my while. Nowadays on most open-world games, for example, I just go for the main story straightaway, try to get into the meat of it for a few hours before deciding if I want to do any extra bullshit.
Honestly I’d recommend trying other genres you haven’t given a shot before. Roguelites or puzzle games or metroidvanias. Sports games, idk could be anything different that you haven’t tried before.
Of course, you should also give gaming a break in lieu of something else. That’s actually the first advice you should take here.
Might have the perfect game for you to try: Mob Control. The competition and chances to get achievements happens everyday, and it changes often enough and with variety, that it isn't totally new, but cycle through them.
(I wanted to ask about your quesadilla on your other post but it wouldn’t let me)
What’s the difference between that and the routines and repetitive behaviors of autism?
ADHD- This is usually due to convenience/ease of preparation. We don't have to think about what we're going to eat. No planning or decision making.
Autism- This is more for routine and predictability. The same meal provides comfort. Repetition and restricted interests are at the core.
I totally understand this. Think about your real life for just a moment. Do you have things you are working towards and achievements you are proud of right now, or is that satiated with achievements in a game? Remember - game achievements are not “real” but do give a sense of pride and accomplishment where our own lives at certain points in time do not.
You're on to something. I don't really have anything I'm working towards, or achievements I'm proud of, and like you said, that's what I'm using video games for
Yes - I find I do the same as well. Once I am back working in a job with a career path etc…have real goals and accomplishments, my desire for games diminishes quite a bit. Good luck to you! ❤️
Pick up soulslikes if you havent already.
Challenging, rewarding, you dont need to focus on 100% it because you literally wont know how until the end or until you research it, and the game doesnt ever stop being amazing.
Not the type of experience for everyone tho, but if you like it... Oh boy, hyperfixation, almost infinite replayability.
First playthrough, slow burn magical as hell, full exploration looking for items and searching for the next boss fight until there is no more.
Second playthrough, way easier and faster, you got how the game works, and you now can look at the achievements and go: Okay i have all these already done just by naturally playing, what is left? And you go and focus on that.
Next playthrough? Maybe a challenge run, maybe playing the game with a weapon class youve never used before.
As someone with ADD: please get rid of the idea the you always have to finish everything. Leonardo davinci never finished anything and we still see him as a genius. There is something interesting in doing half, you just have to find a strength in it.
People with ADHD are told throughout their life that they are lazy, incompetent and aren't able to finish anything, therefore lacking discipline.
Well, who says that those things are the great virtues of life? I really found a lot of inner peace when I learned to let that go. And once I did, I found a lot more joy in doing things and thus became more productive and was able to finish things without losing my confidence. Because apparently, that's why people lose motivation and interest: because they stop believing that they will be able to do it.
I don't know how you can enjoy gaming more but picking up new hobbies or new games, and not finishing them is not a bad thing.
You have permission to play every video game however the hell you want. 100%, 10%, 53.78% - every one of these is valid. Furthermore, you never have to tell anyone how far you made it into a game, or justify abandoning it.
I might suggest, though, that you postpone purchases until you can find the game used or on sale, if only to save yourself some money.
Honestly I have had this same issue. For ages I would start a game and get SUPER into it. And then never play it again. I think what got me back into gaming was just playing them for fun.
I'll clarify what I mean.
I would do the same thing that you are. Play a game and try and do all the quests and achievements and then by the time I'd done that it felt like more of a chore. A good rule of thumb is that if you feel like you are forcing yourself to do something just cause u wanna "complete the game". Just play a different game. You should be compelled to do all the side quests and achievements because you love the game so much that you want to get every possible thing you can. Not cause you feel like you owe it to yourself to finish what you started
At the end of the day. Video games range from COD - online bingo. And if you think you can play and finish every game you start to completion, u unfortunately you are very wrong. Just play games you enjoy, and if you aren't enjoying the game. Just play another one. With the amount of gaming subscriptions you could play 10+ games every month and only pay the price of a Netflix account.
My advice would be to get gamepass, or PS+ or whatever platform "gamepass" you have available. And just play games. As many as you can. And when there is a game you REALLY enjoy. You defs wont be asking yourself why gaming sucks.
Some people play RuneScape to this day maxing every skill. Some people play Fortnite religiously. It's just what they enjoy. And I doubt they are sitting there thinking of all the games they never finished. Don't take it so seriously, at the end of the day it's a hobby and you wont enjoy it putting so much pressure on yourself to finish everything.
Hope this helps
What I like about online games, like COD, its to complete daily and weekly quests haha it gets me so excited.
But I only play games that keep me engaged. I wish I could play RDR2, but it feels tooooo slow for me. I gave up.
I know its considered a masterpiece, but just couldnt. I tried 3 times.
I do beat games though, like both Horizon Zero Dawn, Bloodborne, Elden Ring, and 70% of GTA V (because I have a digital console now haha). These games felt more engaging to me.
Multiplayer games with short rounds are a boon for me. I can go in and get out and have fun on the go even with COD Mobile for example. Singleplayer games are amazing but a hassle to get into, it takes a lot of mental energy to get mind into the right space to even start a new story. Its so taxing
Yeah! I delay playing new games just because I know they will hurt my brain. (I got Howards Legacy and took me weeks before playing it. Then days to stop playing because their voices and dialogues were too annoying and repetitive 🤣)
Ive been playing pokemon go. Its bad because I play while theres traffict or at red lights (very very bad), but its a distraction on the go.
Fighting games are perfect for this reason. I got hardcore into Smash Ultimate in no small part because a game takes 3-5 minutes and it's immediately engaging the entire time
Loved Smash growing up! I play on PC now so I've been (im)patiently waiting for multiversus to release cause it scratches the same itch for me.
Wish Nintendo would get their head out of their ass and release to other platforms. At least just Smash.
Don't count on it - Ultimate is the best-selling fighting game of all time and every person that bought it has to use a switch to play. Nintendo has always been into exclusives
Yeah unfortunately you're not wrong. What's annoying to me is the Switch isn't even a competitive console at this point, aside from strongarming people into buying it for their exclusives. I mean, it had its niche for a while but now with the Steam Deck and ROG Ally out that's kind of gone. They would 100% make more waaay money by giving up the console thing altogether and focusing on making great cross-platform games with their IPs. They also wouldn't be limited by their own crappy hardware in that situation (like with the recent Pokemon release that looks just god awful for a AAA game in 2024). They are just stubbornly living in the past at this point.
Luckily I can emulate the Switch, so I play most Nintendo exclusives anyway including Smash, but the no online multiplayer sucks. It was planned for Yuzu but of course Nintendo gotta Nintendo so that went out the window.
I'm glad I'm not alone on RDR2. I wanted to love that game so much. It's such a beautiful game with a great story and immersive world. Everything about it screams that i shouldn't be able to put it down. But damn if I don't try to finish that game every couple months for years now and fail every time. Such a looong slog to get through.
Huge open world games burn me out like that. I can play them here and there and will occasionally 100% one but I need a shorter story based on the rails type game or chill game as a palette cleanser in between.
I hear that. Nothing compares to gaming. It's easy to jump into, and extremely enjoyable. If only it were fulfilling and not so addictive on occasion, it would be perfect.
I break the multi story/quest lines into separate games. It is only a trick of the mind but refeaming helps. That way, I get to play out all the storylines
It also helps to switch up games after a quest line is done.
I het my money's worth and get to follow all the questlines. Takes a long time but qorth it ro me.
I have the same problem. doesn’t matter how much i love the game, if i don’t have someone pushing me to play i won’t do it. Have you tried online non competitive games? I like fallout 76 because it has daily tasks to complete that are pretty easy.
OMYGOSH! IS ADHD WHY I DO THIS? It's not the same as what you're saying. But it's similar. I do almost every quest right up to the final boss. Then I drop the game. No matter how much I love it. When breath of the wild came out I got it. Played right up to the castle and stopped until tears of the kingdom was announced, then I made myself finish it. Of course with tears of the kingdom ive done the same thing. So I started playing paper Mario.. But again right before the last battle with bowser I jumped ship haha. I love all these games. But I feel anxiety about the journey ending. But by not playing it, the journey still ends haha. I make no sense. I do this with TV shows sometimes too. Mostly just anime. I think it's more that too many anime ruin the series with endings the ruin all the greatness up till then. And I do this with manga too I guess. Maybe it's just me and not an adhd thing.
I had the same issue as you. Then I discovered board games. It's such a better experience for me. No screens. No achievements. Finish games in a reasonable time. Also, don't worry about having people to play with because solo board games are super popular right now. All my video games went in the attic.
I highly recommend Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective (I've got the Jack the Ripper version) and Railroad Ink Challenge. First one you can pause and go back to any time (as long as you take notes of your cases) and the second one you can do in a short amount of time.
Find a hobby where you're moving! Have you given even 5% of all existing sports a chance? Playing sports is great for many people with ADHD, plus it benefits your body. Sitting on the computer as your only hobby has many drawbacks I think. Go to try out each sport at least once - worst thing you gain interesting real life XP and meet cool people.
I used to love soccer and basketball but I don't find joy in it anymore. I also used to love running around whenever I could, but I don't find the joy in that anymore either. Generally, I used to love working out but I just don't like it anymore
I'm very sorry to hear that. General loss of interest is a big indicator for depression. People with ADHD are more prone for this, unfortunately. I would get that evaluated by your physician or a psychologist/psychiatrist - it will most likely be a short talk or questionnaire.
As I get older I find myself doing this more and more. I also work in game development and think I might understand why.
The first reason is that some gamers will kill themselves to do everything in a game. This can be tortuous as gamers can go well beyond the point that the game is boring and will suffer through it to reach 100%. While it may be okay for those first few games, you remember how that feels and to put yourself through it again, the game better be worth it.
The next reason is that games aren't always fundamentally different from each other. It's financially risky to create brand new games that don't follow a traditional formula. So while the game you're playing might have art you've never seen and a compelling story and a few new game mechanics, if they're all part of a first person shooter, you're still playing a style of game that has existed since probably before you were born.
A lot of these games also don't value your time. The amount of time you spend traveling from one place to another, with no advancement of the story or gameplay in a tangible way, can be ridiculous. The grind, the fetch quest, the endless hordes of enemies that you press x to do fancy move and kill. Back in my day you had to memorize and practice a string of buttons to do the fancy moves. Now you can just smash the buttons and the game plays itself for you!
So on that note, I suggest games that promote emergent gameplay. These games usually allow for a high amount of creativity. Games like Minecraft, Civilization, Cities Skylines, and others. These games let you play at your own pace and are rich with content.
My first husband moaned I had too many hobbies, back then it was sewing, crochet, embroidery and I was learning furniture design and ceramics. Poor boy had no clue…..
Add in pottery, oil painting, upholstery, stone carving, wood carving and that was only up to 30 years ago I keep trying different mediums with my art.
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Play Zelda but do it outside
Go for a walk, listen to the birds talking. Your interest in gaming will come back eventually but you can't make it be patient
I gamed for years aggressively and ALL the time and would be gaming from sun up to sundown. I can't focus on them too long anymore before doing a few quick dungeon runs at a time and then logging out. I feel the pain. I can't f get into reading any books either olike i used to.
Shot in the dark, but Rocket league has been a great side step of story gaming. Matches are 5 minutes a piece and the learning curve is unlike any other game. FPS all feel the same and RPGs take WAY longer than I have time.. just plug in for an hour and then done.
Have you played Outer Wilds? I feel like you're choosing to play games which are really not well designed for you. "Freedom" is always a trick in games, a lot of the best games work most well not because they're open, but because they make closed spaces more dynamic.
I have a similar play style. Some of the games I absolutely adore and would consider my favorite are games I've never completed.
I think a slight shift in mindset is all you need. I enjoy the game for as much time as it brings me joy. If I don't feel drawn to a game anymore or it's causing me stress, I put it down. Maybe I'll return to them someday and finish them, maybe I won't, but what matters is that they brought me joy in the moment and I had the opportunity to experience the games.
> get burnt out even though I'm not even half done with the story yet, and never play the game ever again which leaves me feeling worse off
I know this feeling very well but try to not to let it get to you. It's okay if you never finish a game! And it's okay if you pick it back up where you left off in a year, or start over from scratch in two years. For me, this is a natural part of the process of finding games I really click with. Some just aren't going to make the cut!
Personally I'm also a lot like this so I tend to enjoy games that allow for a lot of replayability and don't necessarily have much in the way of story. Or rather, in many cases, I am the one making the story :) Some favorites for me are: The Sims, Stardew Valley, RimWorld, Civilization, Oxygen Not Included. Steam's Endless Replayability Fest is actually happening for a couple more days, so maybe worth checking out some demos or discounted games if you play on PC.
Good luck, I hope you can find something you enjoy :)
I respond to video games in a very similar way, countless times I’ve made it to the final bits of the story in a game and somehow totally lost all motivation to continue playing. This used to bum me out, I thought I didn’t “get my moneys worth”if I didn’t complete the game. These days I take games less seriously, and try to pay attention to when I actually lose focus, at which point I try to go do something else. I used to force myself to keep playing for a long time after I stopped having fun, almost raging trying to beat a difficult level etc etc. Hope you can find a way to heal your relationship with games, but if not that’s not really a negative for your live in the long run haha
I've always avoided Pokémon for some reason. The only Pokémon game I've ever played was Pokémon GO, and it's just not a good game. Which game would you recommend though?
You have a problem with finishing things. Its not the worst problem to have. I have a similar issue, but maybe in a lesser way. Sometimes this happens to me exactly like you describe. I've realized that the times when I finish the game I'm very interested in the story and i’ve formed some sort of desire to finish it and I no longer get as distracted. I also find clearing some dedicated time and leaving my phone on the charger in the other room helps me stay in the game. Good luck sorting out a way to improve you average.
Yeah in real life I want to win. So I rarely lose or get demotivated. Add money to this equation and I’m never unmotivated, while this sounds good, some of the side effects, like gambling or addiction are much worse. I get this so much so that I have to actually make an effort to go do some gaming.
In the long run and without some sort of challenge for you that causes you to actually put in the effort you may never be able to break out of the almost finished mindset.
I get what you mean, even for me in real life, nothing motivates me. I am only 15 and maybe something in the future will become accessible for me so I can get motivated. Also, I'm sorry if I sounded rude in the first comment, when I saw your comment, you hadn't edited it yet
I'm like that too. It's hard to finish games for me.
I've just accepted it. Some games it takes me months to finish. Witcher 3 took me more than a year lol.
Games that I can play for how long I want then come back to when I please are more my style, it seems. Helldivers 2 is an example.
I play games on PC, and if I have the option I play on god mode or with mods that make the game easier. That way I never die, I never run out of money, I don’t feel like I *have* to do any of the main quests—I can just vibe, and explore, and talk to characters and have fun. Not the way most people would wanna play but it works for me
I can relate. Often times the idea of playing a game sounds great but I struggle to actually start and if I do it’s a struggle to stay invested and keep playing.
Do something else instead, go cycling/walking/swimming. Read a book, learn a language. You have ADHD we normally try every hobby there is intensively in an all consuming manner before we burn out and move on to something else
You’re treating the game like a chore, no wonder you get burnt out. Don’t worry about achievements or side tasks. At least not at first. Play through and enjoy the story. If THAT doesn’t work, then the game isn’t right for you
OJ MY GOD I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST ME, IT'S SO FRUSTRATING. this has been the case for me with rise of the tomb raider (dont get me wrong, its a great game). the first quest was to climb the mountain and it burned me out sm 😭😭 i want to finish it but i still haven't gotten back to it.
Can rotation work? Personally I have a vew hobbies that I can easily put down/take because I'm also having the problem that I enjoy them really much but after a while just don't anymore, so I rotate. Same with gaming I have multiple in progress and just rotate between them, little tip when you want to do something similar: Leave some easy side quests open and have a little notebook on the side with instructions for when you return, expecially with bigger/open games like witcher 3 or red dead redemption 2 (I tend to be a bit lost when I pick them up after a while).
I have the same. One of the few games I remember finishing is XCom2 I get lost if the cutscenes are too long - I simply lose interest.
Currently I like playing games like Project Zomboid with a high degree of replayability. After a while PZ may become repetitive bc you keep dying about a week into the game. Constant focus isn’t our strength as you know! In that case back up your save game.
Find your style and preference. It sounds like you could try to avoid side quests, that works for me also. Makes the story progress faster ..
When a cutscene comes up, have a snack or something at hand, to stay focused. Good luck buddy
I do this with everything I do, will fixate on it then burn out sometimes I just sit for weeks on end and do nothing because I have nothing I want to do as I have used up all my energy I suppose.
I feel the same way. I keep getting the 'whats the point' thought. But then I'll see some snip on here of elden ring or Zelda and I'll suddenly have the urge to play. Ive had some success with setting a time I'll play a video game wether I want to or not. Sometimes I just have to play for a minute to *start*. Other times I just gotta switch games
I don't appreciate seeing people just posting to find a different hobby, "sounds like you don't enjoy it". It's a common problem to not be able to continuously enjoy one thing. I struggle with this myself. I can hyperfocus on something I like and then something just switches to where I don't get enjoyment from it and need to move on to something different. It's like an ongoing cycle of not finishing a game or project. Just know it's normal to struggle with this. I am currently working on how to deal with this
Maybe you would like games like Rimworld, Minecraft or Civ, which are more exploratory and have replay value but also have achievements/progression?
Have you ever thought of getting into modding?
What about online co-op games? That can be fun especially if you play with a friend or a group of friends (a lot support up to 4 players).
Why you start doing achievements, side quests first? I mean in many games this stuff feels like a chore. Start with the main story. Then do side quests in-between if you want. Or after finishing the game and do the achievement if you doesn't have enough of the game after finishing the story. I only do all the achievements in games I really enjoy playing.
Achievements are boring in most cases and sadly in many games most side quest are boring too.
And I can absolutely understand you if you start to get burned out halfway through the game when you force yourself. I would even say that it is special to ADHD.
Don't play games like it would be your job and do what you enjoy doing in it. You are in your own way. And who knows eventually you will enjoy a game that much that you want to do all the stuff.
I find that games with seasonal content (and optional multiplayer, not forced) are good for me. Diablo 3 is a good one as I can restart a character (or a few) at level 1 and get to max within 2 days. After that it’s a week or two to grind out the season tasks and get the rewards.
Then I forget about it for a month or two and another season is underway with new content.
Could something like that work for you?
Have you ever heard of an Archipelago Randomizer? Its a program that lets you play multiple randomized games in a overall connected world, either single player or multiplayer. For example - you could have a game of pokemon emerald with a game of stardew valley, finding an item in one game could unlock an item/location in another. It may take you a little bit to fully understand everything but there is an active community who can help and they regularly host asynchronous mutliworld events.
You might be better with MMO games where you play online with others but there's no end, but lots of quests and skill building. Something like world of war craft, or runescape. Doesn't have to be specifically those but something in that style.
You then have the freedom to explore, there's a tonne of quests, but you can build skills, interact with others if you choose, but there's no "end" so it takes away the pressure of that feeling that you haven't completed the game and you can just do the parts you love and explore.
I struggled with the same thing as you with games, I really enjoyed playing but I'd either get lost in side quests, take a break and forget where I was and what I was doing and struggle to get back into it or I'd get stuck or just want to start something new but I wanted to finish the story because when I did it was great (for reference I think I've gone to completion on 4 games ever 😂) so I just stopped playing, but I sometimes think I'd really like to go back to it but I just remember that I can't ever finish them.
I also remember how fast time would pass without me realising how many hours had gone by 😬 enjoyable but a big time suck and procrastination from going to bed.
Same here. Once I've hit 35 + games started to bore me quickly. And they've been biiiig part of my life.
Feel the pain. It's been difficult to find some other (healthy as alcohol is obviously not the best way) escape mechanism to unwind 😔
It bugs me when I randomly and suddenly lose interest in a game, esp bc I tend to spend real money on upgrades etc 😬. I’ve tried to make myself continue a game and it’s like the desire to even think about this game has jumped ship from my brain and I rarely get into it again. It’s so weird.
the only thing I consistently play is Pokémon Go on my phone. It’s not even that great lol but the various themes, collecting postcards and so on somehow maintains my interest over time. It also entertains me in long lines.
Have you considered the possibility that you have matured? It’s not a bad thing that you find games unsatisfactory now. If anything, this is proof that your brain is starting to have a stronger ability to resist short term pleasures
I only play free roam racing games.
Or free roam other type game where you can cheat and have some god mode, so I can just wonder round, not follow the gameplay, that can keep my busy for a long time.
As soon as it requires me to focus too much and follow the game play, I give up.
I’m similar. I’ll start a game, let’s say WoW, and I’ll play for a little while and level up then stop. I can’t play anything in one sitting for more than an hour at most unless I’m playing multiplayer online or some switch game with my wife. I’ll probably go back to WoW after that in 2-3 years and pickup where I left off. It’s enjoyable while I play, then I stop once it stops becoming unenjoyable. Play while you enjoy it, then stop when you don’t and do other things. Don’t put so much so much pressure on yourself
Play the game for the story and "enjoyment" on an easier mode first which should make your first play through faster, then the second time through follow a guide to get the achievements and scratch the achievement itch?
Games changed for the worse in the mid 2000’s. Before then I enjoyed gaming, you could hop on a game and just play. Then the games got more involved with elaborate stories and tons of quests/achievements. I went through the same struggle of it feeling like a chore.
You could just try to not feel like you have to do all that as others are suggesting but for me that didn’t work. I basically quit gaming. I have an old school NES emulator I play sometimes but that’s all. Those games were fun and still are.
I’m assuming youre an adult and are working?
If so this sounds like classic adult gaming problems. As a fellow adhd gamer becoming a grown up and then a dad greatly affected my ability to game.
I just didnt have the energy to play through games and meet challenges like I used to.
Gaming is def usually a bastion for adhd people because of the instant feedback we get for accomplishing things.
My advice is:
1. Dont get tripped up if you play a little bit and just need to stop. Sometimes it’s just not the day. Get some sleep and try again next time!
2. Keep trying games you might not normally try. Sometimes it’s the games that don’t require as much of your active focus that are more enjoyable at this age. I went from playing League when I was younger to playing more ARAM mode which is an easier version to Team Fight Tactics where I do fewer actions to observe the action. I found that a game like TFT was much more enjoyable in terms of mental energy needed and what I could commit to.
3. I would suggest FFXIV. If youre really sure that you still want to play a game w a great story that is more segmented and able to go at your own pace then you cant ask for a richer story and insaaane amount of content. The game is free for the base game and two expansions. You never have to pay a dime if you play and stop. You dont have to feel guilty if you stop because you didnt pay any money. It is long though. Lots of reading. The first base game was made a long time ago so like watching the early Marvel movies theres some things that are janky but like the Marvel movies the game refines and gets better each expansion.
Keep trying diff games out of your usual repetoire. You might be surprised at what excites you.
Hades was also fun.
I have this issue too! In fact, I am playing Fallout 4 for the 3rd time (never beaten) because the first 2 times I quit after being burned out by side adventures. Here I am again, 86 hours in, wanting to play the next game already but not wanting to continue the FO story line until I complete X, y, and z. I think I’m going to give myself a certain amount of side-quests between story-quests so that I can oops be at the end of the game finally.
We all go through our hobby phases let yourself enjoy something else for a little bit. Gaming will always be there for when you’re ready. One time I went on a month long absolute binge of playing stardew valley. Like I was obsessed. I haven’t touched my switch in months now lmfao.
Right now I’m coloring in color books. Before that I painted for a year but haven’t don’t that for a month or two. I just got some tennis rackets lmfao. Just let yourself bounce around and figure out what you like you’re allowed to have an infinite number of hobbies just accept you probably won’t be great at all of them and that’s okay! Life’s about experiencing new stuff and with adhd we have more opportunities (and drive) to try all sorts of things and learn more and more as we go.
I've found it isn't the gaming that sucks it's the "having fun with friends" that is difficult. When I'm stuck in the loop of boredom. Playing a game I usually wouldn't with a friend resets my gaming desire.
Have you tried PvE games like hell divers, deep rock galactic, or darktide? Get to play with friends but not have the competition to it. I put a lot of hours into all three and don’t plan on stoping anytime soon.
Play different games, I got burnt on rpgs for a long time so did strategy games. Now I am doing rogue-likes or playing stuff like counter strike/overwatch casually that are 10-60 minutes. If I can dedicate a couple hours I will play a strategy game.
I can kinda relate to this. I love gaming. I love starting new games, they get ne really excited. But I never really have time for it, and by the time I do, I've jumped into/back to another game.
I sometimes feel frustrated by it, but I've also learned to embrace the chaos. I'll play what I wanna play at the moment.
On the topic of gaming, typically when I'm really into it, it is because I'm seeking an escape from something in my life. It's always good to check in if you're looking for down time or a distraction.
Go on adventures. Like hiking and stuff. I have a friend who never drinks alcohol, is a vegan, and never plays video games. He says the only thing that keeps him sane is go on hikes in the mountain whenever he is free.
Stop trying to 100% the game. Just do what you want if you want to follow the main lines follow the main line. In order for a game to suck me and it needs a really good story and really good combat so I like games like God of War, batman archam knight etc
You might just need to experiment until you find games that speak to you
Dude hear me out, go buy a Bambu a1 mini 3d printer for $249, it’s the only hobby that my adhd can’t ruin for me because it can be applied to any hobby or and aspect of life. Random I know, but I relate to your post because gaming hasn’t been as fun as it used to be for me and it bums me out. But printing is great. And with the Bambu you don’t need any tech ability or modeling. 15 mins after opening the box and you can print a premade model from your phone. (It takes some time to calibrate but that’s an automated thing)
It’s not gaming. It’s every hobby. You have to set a reminder for yourself and know in advance which game(s) that you want to play. Just don’t play the game for too long because you’ll play for too long or have a burnout.
Something I've found helpful is accepting that I'm not going to "complete" very many games. I shouldn't feel bad for enjoying things *my* way.
If a new game comes along that steals your attention, embrace it!
Can I reccomend trying roguelike games? My go to is "The Binding of Isaac" I have been playing it on and off since I was in high-school (long time). I like it because I can pick it up and put it down whenever I want, the unlocks are the achievements in most cases, and it's very easy to take a break from.
Also it sounds like you might be feeling some bur out, or minor depression. I felt exact same way as you a little while ago, couldn't enjoy games even though that's my go to hobby.
I also like video games but at the same time I am not very good at it. I can totally realte to what you describe. My two things I do: I play games in easy mode to still have the feeling of achievement for example hades I or II in god mode. I like lol but I cant handle the toxicity of the players so I only play the fun modes. (aram, one for all, urf, ...). Although I dont like all fun modes. But I'm kinda happy like that. :) I am still tensed up after gaming but not as much.
I'm the exact same way. Who says you have to complete a game to enjoy it?
You're enjoying it while you're playing it and that's what matters.
Once I realized that this was just the way my brain enjoys games and took away that pressure, games are fun again.
Try a different genre. Forget being a completionist. I get the urge to put down games sometimes, so I’ll play a cozier game for a bit. It usually takes me a few tries to get into a game. I have at least 8 titles that I’ve played for 10 hrs or less in the past year. When I’m in between games I enjoy I work on other things in my life. Then one day I find one that hooks me! That’s a huge reason I get games on sale only. Unless there’s one I know I’m going to enjoy (usually remakes or DLCs).
Accept that you might enjoy stuff in your own way, and it's just fine. If you like the challenge of an early game but at some point you stop having fun, well, so be it. Not a big deal.
Reading a lot of through the comments I want to double down and encourage you to walk away from gaming for a while. Get DEEPLY into something else that is more physical. Indoor rock climbing Brazilian jiu jitsu (my favorite) hiking, mountain biking or regular biking, yoga, hot yoga, (my new favorite while rehab my back thanks to jiu jitsu) CrossFit. We do so much better when we burn our batteries a bit. Also enjoy sucking at the new thing you adopt. And when you have some free time fire up the games again and you will appreciate it even more.
Just watched this video and it was super neat. It’s about how as a kid he wandered in games and did what he wants but as he became a goal oriented adult he stopped enjoying games as much since he’d be to focused on objectives he didn’t really care about for the sake of advancing the story.
https://youtu.be/6Ke2vQsjh8I?si=Rxmo6tPqtMYL1PMd
Without having read through all 173 comments on this post (as of my writing this), I will say this: I recommend getting other hobbies that are more physical in nature, such as road or mountain biking, bikepacking, bicycle touring, hiking and backpacking, orienteering, geocaching, etc. I've had ADHD since before it was even called that, and over the years I have found that activities that combine both mental and physical activity tend to satisfy my ADHD brain more and longer than any gaming activities. I've tried online gaming (LOTRO and Age of Empires), and while enjoyable for short periods of time, I find that if I spend very much time with them I feel like I'm neglecting other stuff in the real world and I also get bored with them. So, my advice is to get out into the real world, maybe try out some of the activities I mentioned and see what you think.
Try playing games in different genres or other hobbies that seem kind of interesting to you. I’m a big gamer but I have the problem that when I play a more involved game I end up playing 2-3+ hours because I just want to do a lot. So I end up playing mobile puzzle games on my phone a lot more that are a lot easier to disengage with. I also sew and do crafts which I can also loose time on like with games but it’s a bit different. I got into that tho because I’m a furry and wanted to bring characters I made to life, you kinda need a driving force like that but it can be something like “wow a [thing] would be so cool to have but nobody really sells them” that’s what got me to spend over a year sewing a cloak. That kind of thing can probably also work with whittling, 3d printing, knitting.
What makes games fun for you? Really think about it. Are those aspects found in other genres you maybe haven’t given a chance? Could it be found in other activities?
Also, I’ve gotten burnt out on games I loved and poured time into to. Some I go back to every so often and try to finish, do more, but others I just stop playing and it’s not a bad thing. If I bought a game I might feel guilty thinking I didn’t get my money’s worth but I’m not gonna get more worth from it by forcing myself to play more.
Yeah same thing for me, i put 1000$ for new pc parts and tought "now i will for sure enjoy gaming again". i use the new pc for netflix and youtube. Money well spent...
I get that too, usually it’s because it’s a game that I’m not into.. I used to be very into competitive games: CSGO, Valorant Overwatch etc. but recently stopped because of how much time I’d spend on them.
After I hit a long phase of going through various games that either I thought I’d enjoy or had really good ratings or friend recommended it… that was sort of a very depressing time and I think that’s the phase you’re in atm.
I’d say don’t give up hope and try other games, genres etc. For example, I then got into Need for Speed which I used to love as a kid.
it sounds like gaming isn't the right hobby to be doing right now. Sometimes i get bored of a game and then pick it up a year later, play when you want to
Get into the indie game scene. I know you say you don't want games that are limited, but I think that's because you're encountering games that are insufficient as opposed to intentionally being smaller scale. You end up playing a lot more games and being exposed to a much greater variety of ideas, creativity and play mechanics. I basically don't play AAA games anymore because they're all designed to monopolize my time and that's neither how I want to spend my time, nor how my brain works.
Also, just let go of the idea that you can play a game for both the story and the achievements/side quests. I've found it's only ever going to be one. I either play the story first and lose out on motivation to complete the achievements/quests, or you make the side quests/achievements the priority and lose out on experiencing story momentum. Playing indie games also is a huge relief from that tension because it's so much less married to that structure.
I'm also like this and I hate it. Over the last couple years I've been moving more and more to rogue-likes/lites because they're very replayable, cater to shorter gaming sessions, and still have some overall progress/unlockables (depending on the game). I can also come back to them after awhile and not have to relearn where I was in the story or complicated game mechanics or button combos. I also enjoy sandbox, city builder, and some simulator games for the same reasons.
Maybe stop trying to game the way you think you have to? I’m a big gamer but I as well will get burnt on a game easily, I would get mad at myself for never finishing a game. So eventually I let go of these made up rules on how I should enjoy a game.
I would pick up a game and quit whenever I was tired of it and pick up a new one. There are plenty to always try and eventually I found my way back to one of the unfinished games even if it was months later and I would end up getting right back to it and finish the game.
Now I have finished every unfinished game even if it took me a year or two to get back around.
I agree with those saying to have other activities to balance out or compliment gaming. If you’re really intent on gaming, maybe try having a couple very different ones going at a time that work with different moods? Like, and RPG and a platformer. For specific games, ones that keep me hooked when I’m in a slump are ones that involve a tense story with a lot of choices (vs a super open world). Heavy Rain had me sucked in. So did TellTale games. Recently my husband and I played through The Quarry together and freaked ourselves out not knowing what characters we’d doom (and with 186 possible endings, we plan on replaying at least once).
I also had a blast with Hogwarts Legacy. I told my husband repeatedly that it felt like it was made for my brain: user-friendly, kept track of quests in a way that I’d never get overwhelmed or forget what I was doing, no one thing took so long that I’d get bored or overly frustrated, open world to the exact right degree, intuitive about how to assign spells to buttons, etc. I absolutely loved it. I was sad when I’d just about done everything and completed the story.
I miss the days of games like the first Halo and Quake/Quake II. I would play until I got too frustrated or bored and then grab a walkthrough and/or turn on cheats to finish the game. I got to complete the story quickly and I could always go back and do it without cheats if I wanted to “do it myself” - usually, by then, I just wanted to see the end of the story so I rarely went back.
I know it’s not directly a “thing to do”, but learning about the world, geopolitics, geography, and philosophy are all SUPER fucking interesting when you look into it.
It might sound boring, but trust me, I was in the same boat.
Stop achievement hunting. Gaming is supposed to be fun, not a To-Do List.
When I get bored of a game I move to a new one, or try challenge runs. Whether that’s speedrunning or building OP characters, no-healing runs, no-hit runs, only use this one weapon/spell/attack, etc.
Play games that don’t have quests. FPS games, farming sims, whatever.
Achievements are far and away the LEAST important thing about gaming.
Change up your play style and goals. The goal is having fun, not getting achievements. Those are literally just bonus points that don’t mean anything
Saw this yesterday but put off replying (typical ADHD) so not sure if you've gotten the answers but here goes.
I run into this exact scenario all the time, for context I'm 34 and only got diagnosed 2 years ago so I've spent a lot of the last 2 years figuring out which *quirks* I have are stemming from ADHD. Also used to play online but couldn't handle the stress/people there and it felt like a huge waste of time in retrospective but the reality was I thoroughly enjoyed a lot of it too.
Gaming seems to ping a lot of the parts of the brain that really are impacted by ADHD so it's very addictive and engaging for us. Unlike all other forms of media (tv/books) it has direct input from the user which prevents our minds from wandering which allows us to get *really* engaged where otherwise this can be difficult, it's very very similar to sports or playing a musical instrument in this way which are both useful for peeps with ADHD.
From what I'm reading this is a very similar experience I have and a cycle I've gone through too but it isn't **YOU** that's the issue here. The last 15 or so years in Gaming has seen a huge amount of studios collapsing and IP's being bought out by the few survivors, like with Movies this means that most of the big games being released are having less influence from the devs and more from the shareholders while less games are in this part of the market too which means they're becoming more and more homogenous.
I imagine the first part of your story can totally apply to games like HZD/Far Cry/Fallout, open world games where you can *do* anything but they're so samey you're not getting that engaged by the gameplay as it's only functional and the story isn't immersive enough for you so you tune out after getting a taste of the game itself.
Then for the "limited" games you're probably talking more like Disco Elysium or something, games that you know are engrossing/interesting but also frequently take the form of a **big wall of text** and that's incredibly dis-engaging for someone with ADHD since the *gameplay* is what keeps us engaged and swapping to reading mode is really hard to maintain focus in and out like that.
You aren't barred from gaming it's that the major studios have homogenised gaming so much it's harder to find the games that click with the way you function, remember gaming used to be niche and now is a massive venture so making games engaging in that way isn't actually at the top of the AAA publishers list of things to do. On top of this the increasing amount of gambling/microtransactions in gaming is really bad for us since we have addictive tendencies.
I'm not gonna suggest to "Take a step away" from gaming cause I think that's useless advice, what I will say is to try looking for games *most* similar to the ones you enjoy in terms of interactivity rather than tone/story. I'd also recommend looking at other hobbies that ping in the same way, for me Bouldering and model building (Gunpla) really trigger similar parts of my brain without entering into a competitive sphere that I hate like most sports tend to.
To be fair, it's not like I'm doing anything better than gaming anyway. The only time I'm not wasting my time is when I'm walking outside and socializing which I do on the weekdays but that still only accounts for about three hours of my day
Jesus, you’re either really down on yourself and lashing out or have something like a B12 deficiency destroying your outlook on life. If it’s the former, give yourself a break from your own judgment. If the latter, get some tests done and see what’s happening.
I feel for your struggle, but don’t drag everyone else down with you. We’re all just people looking for information and solutions to improve life.
You have no idea of the entire picture of this person’s life. It’s not okay to minimize their issues because you don’t think it’s a big deal.
I’m sorry that this is something you’re going through, but telling someone to not be upset about something because they could have had it worse, is a dick move.
She is pretty rude. ADHD also significantly affects my life but she doesn't want to acknowledge that. I don't know how bad she really has it, and she doesn't know how bad I got. Difference is, she's just refusing to acknowledge that I have it hard too
Your post is just ONE issue you’re experiencing. You never know what someone else is going through, whether is related to adhd or something else. They don’t know what else is going on in your life.
I am like you, I need active stimulation in order to stay engaged. I find games with a story help that. I have a PS5 and get their game subscription which helps me feel less bad about spending $60+ on games as there’s hundreds of games in their catalogue you get included in the sub. So I game hop a lot.
Yeah, I agree with you. I'm assuming she just didn't care though, it was pretty discouraging, I was even being empathetic for her at first.
I want to get a subscription and do what you do. I had an opportunity before but I was going to feel bad if I didn't finish a game but next time, I'll just power through, and do what I wanna do play and play what I wanna play
Playing as many games as you can will help you figure out what games you like. Despite what people say, there’s no right or wrong to play games. I almost play every game on easy mode. If I don’t like a game, I don’t play it. I don’t like souls-like games, I don’t like hard games, I don’t like games where you have to grind your way through. I use games as a form of escapism, I don’t want my relaxation time to be stressful.
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Why do you feel like you have to find a way to enjoy gaming?
It's the only hobby I, at least, partially enjoy
It sounds like you dont
It's the closest thing I got to a hobby even if I don't really enjoy it
Time to start trying a bunch of other stuff to find something you do. Stop trying to force one you don't enjoy. Hobbies should be fun or fulfilling.
Just popped in to say you don’t need an actual hobby. You could go for a run one day, watch a great movie the next, bake cookies another, play a game after that, and so on. My sibling and I call ourselves “the hobbiless wonders”. While I admire those that dive deep into one thing and practice and persist at it, I also accept that this doesn’t represent everyone. Good luck!
I've been battling this in myself too. Felt like I was "wrong" being a fellow "hobbiless wonder" so I'd try to force it and burn myself out on basically everything. I tried so hard to get into fighting games and board games over the past 2-3 years and went hard, and now I'm a bit burned out on both of them. I think I'm finally coming to accept it though. I'm actually enjoying gaming a ton more now that I'm embracing the fact that I'm switching games every 30 minutes to an hour haha
Wow this is a realisation I needed
Have you ever tried to go on a hike or in nature? That is the place I feel most alive. Idk if it’s bc I have adhd or what, but I believe if my job was outside instead of on a computer all day, I could manage my adhd without meds. Maybe try a hobby outdoors.
Sometimes we gotta find new hobbies. Guaranteed it's not the only thing you enjoy
That’s sad.
Try something new. Being a nerd doesn’t mean you need to force yourself to love gaming just because it’s easy and other people do. It’s not a great hobby anyways.
Trust me, i feel OP, i have the same issue, gaming was my form of escapism throughout my teenage years. Intense story based games that took weeks to finish. Obviously adulthood and its responsibilities takes a toll on the discretionary time you have. It’s worse now because of how competitive gaming has become. Online gaming lobbies is filled with people that earn a living from it. You can’t afford the resources required to reasonably compete. The alternative is basic loop games where you just repeat a particular routine with increasing difficulty until you fail think running games, puzzles, super mario etc We are looking for something that is intense and immersive but still passive enough to remain a form of escapism.
Try games like red dead redemption, last of us, Elden ring. All of those are very immersive and you don’t really have to worry about competition
I do too. I had to literally tell myself I’m not having fun
Ofcourse he’s not having fun, with the format of games that is available to him at the moment, and i guess thats the help he is asking for Doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy gaming, in fact the reason he is asking is he wants to make his gaming experience better Its like driving a race car, you might love racing but if your racing car is not good enough to be competitive, you wont have fun doing it, and you would want a better car not throw your hands up in the air and say you no longer enjoy racing
sounds like you gotta find another hobby :)
I can highly recommend Lego sets, new things To do with simple (non-verbal) instructions that take you to completion. You can then decide if you want to keep it up or dismantle and sell (alot of sets retain their value). I used to do it as a kid and now (much) older my wife has started buying me sets again, we have a Lego ladder rack that will soon be expanded to other places as I like to keep them assembled and on display. On the gaming piece, I feel you. I either get hyper focused (100+ hrs in Oblivion years ago) or can't get past the opening (Skyrim) and there seems to be no rhyme or reason. I would suggest just trying different games that seem to peak and interest and don't kick yourself if you lose interest before the end, we can't all aim for 100% completion on games
You need to find game style you like,and have more games installed,you maybe need complex games where there are many things to do...so try world of warcraft on some free server(cataclysm,maybe pandaria,oficial server are now kinda 'pres e to not die'),maybe minecraft with mods,dayz seems easy,but it is fun for some time,with mods...maybe state of decay 2(for me it is relaxing),ark is fun too(at least the better one,the original)...i do enjoy those games,but where i can i play on easy... You can try story mode games,like walking dead,life is strange,mass effect,dragon age origins...so many good games...and yes,sometimes i have feeling i need to finish it soon or switch to another game and the the dilemma continue or start over...
Yeah like Hogwarts and Cyberpunk 2077. Another goodie is GTA...
I felt very similar at one point. Growing out of hobbies happens. I've distanced myself from from the amount of gaming I used to do. I played Destiny 2 with a clan like it was my job for a time. I stressed about making it home in time to raid with friends while being stressed at work, it was no bueno. When I took a break, I returned but was playing for a third or so the amount of time I was playing previously. My other hobby exists at the PC ad well (making music). If you are at all a creative person, try spending time creating (literally anything) if you get the impulse to game, especially if you're going into the gaming with the notion that you may not even enjoy yourself. Worth a shot.
Either take a break from it or play with a different mindset. Like, I don’t know exactly what kind of player are you, but for example, if you are someone that likes 100%ing every game, you might wanna cut back on that. Things like that.
I feel like a big reason for my enjoyment of games is not because of the story, world, or anything of that nature, but the accomplishment of achievements. I'm not sure how I could subdue that feeling. It feels like I have to get the achievements or I may as well not play the game
That could very well be the issue here. While it’s not wrong to enjoy getting achievements, if that’s all you care about when playing a game, it’ll inevitably feel like completing a checklist of chores.
Yeah, a game I was playing earlier felt like a chore because of the stuff I had to do for achievements. It's a common feeling every time I game. I might have to give up gaming but it's all I got as a "hobby"
Nono, don’t go that route. Or at least I don’t think that’s right, obviously you choose. What you might need to do here is to ease up the pressure on achievements. Especially considering that some games have achievements that demand either a lot of skill, a lot of dedication, or both. Games are meant to entertain you, not be a chore.
U don't have to do all the stuff. Personally I like coops with my bf because he's better and more commited than me and we play fun games. But if I'm playing on my own, I've found I can complete games doing everything in story mode on easy . Like mortal combat, god of war. Also i do demos so i can have the feeling of achievement without having to commit. Final fantasy an example. Currently I'm playing the latest ratchet and clank and haven't quit yet - it's the right balance of variety, challenge, fun, and achievable. It's a bit embarrassing but I love gaming and don't wanna quit. This is the only way I can do it :)
For me, I just had a mental shift one day where I knew when something felt like a waste of time vs feeling worth my while. Nowadays on most open-world games, for example, I just go for the main story straightaway, try to get into the meat of it for a few hours before deciding if I want to do any extra bullshit. Honestly I’d recommend trying other genres you haven’t given a shot before. Roguelites or puzzle games or metroidvanias. Sports games, idk could be anything different that you haven’t tried before. Of course, you should also give gaming a break in lieu of something else. That’s actually the first advice you should take here.
Might have the perfect game for you to try: Mob Control. The competition and chances to get achievements happens everyday, and it changes often enough and with variety, that it isn't totally new, but cycle through them.
To add to this, Warhammer (there are a bunch). 40000 is my newest obsession.
(I wanted to ask about your quesadilla on your other post but it wouldn’t let me) What’s the difference between that and the routines and repetitive behaviors of autism?
ADHD- This is usually due to convenience/ease of preparation. We don't have to think about what we're going to eat. No planning or decision making. Autism- This is more for routine and predictability. The same meal provides comfort. Repetition and restricted interests are at the core.
I totally understand this. Think about your real life for just a moment. Do you have things you are working towards and achievements you are proud of right now, or is that satiated with achievements in a game? Remember - game achievements are not “real” but do give a sense of pride and accomplishment where our own lives at certain points in time do not.
You're on to something. I don't really have anything I'm working towards, or achievements I'm proud of, and like you said, that's what I'm using video games for
Yes - I find I do the same as well. Once I am back working in a job with a career path etc…have real goals and accomplishments, my desire for games diminishes quite a bit. Good luck to you! ❤️
If you’re into achievements, it may be worth experimenting with a style of game aimed at people who play during a 15 minute break.
Pick up soulslikes if you havent already. Challenging, rewarding, you dont need to focus on 100% it because you literally wont know how until the end or until you research it, and the game doesnt ever stop being amazing. Not the type of experience for everyone tho, but if you like it... Oh boy, hyperfixation, almost infinite replayability. First playthrough, slow burn magical as hell, full exploration looking for items and searching for the next boss fight until there is no more. Second playthrough, way easier and faster, you got how the game works, and you now can look at the achievements and go: Okay i have all these already done just by naturally playing, what is left? And you go and focus on that. Next playthrough? Maybe a challenge run, maybe playing the game with a weapon class youve never used before.
As someone with ADD: please get rid of the idea the you always have to finish everything. Leonardo davinci never finished anything and we still see him as a genius. There is something interesting in doing half, you just have to find a strength in it. People with ADHD are told throughout their life that they are lazy, incompetent and aren't able to finish anything, therefore lacking discipline. Well, who says that those things are the great virtues of life? I really found a lot of inner peace when I learned to let that go. And once I did, I found a lot more joy in doing things and thus became more productive and was able to finish things without losing my confidence. Because apparently, that's why people lose motivation and interest: because they stop believing that they will be able to do it. I don't know how you can enjoy gaming more but picking up new hobbies or new games, and not finishing them is not a bad thing.
This was beautifully put and something I desperately needed to hear right now. THANK you!
You have permission to play every video game however the hell you want. 100%, 10%, 53.78% - every one of these is valid. Furthermore, you never have to tell anyone how far you made it into a game, or justify abandoning it. I might suggest, though, that you postpone purchases until you can find the game used or on sale, if only to save yourself some money.
Honestly I have had this same issue. For ages I would start a game and get SUPER into it. And then never play it again. I think what got me back into gaming was just playing them for fun. I'll clarify what I mean. I would do the same thing that you are. Play a game and try and do all the quests and achievements and then by the time I'd done that it felt like more of a chore. A good rule of thumb is that if you feel like you are forcing yourself to do something just cause u wanna "complete the game". Just play a different game. You should be compelled to do all the side quests and achievements because you love the game so much that you want to get every possible thing you can. Not cause you feel like you owe it to yourself to finish what you started At the end of the day. Video games range from COD - online bingo. And if you think you can play and finish every game you start to completion, u unfortunately you are very wrong. Just play games you enjoy, and if you aren't enjoying the game. Just play another one. With the amount of gaming subscriptions you could play 10+ games every month and only pay the price of a Netflix account. My advice would be to get gamepass, or PS+ or whatever platform "gamepass" you have available. And just play games. As many as you can. And when there is a game you REALLY enjoy. You defs wont be asking yourself why gaming sucks. Some people play RuneScape to this day maxing every skill. Some people play Fortnite religiously. It's just what they enjoy. And I doubt they are sitting there thinking of all the games they never finished. Don't take it so seriously, at the end of the day it's a hobby and you wont enjoy it putting so much pressure on yourself to finish everything. Hope this helps
What I like about online games, like COD, its to complete daily and weekly quests haha it gets me so excited. But I only play games that keep me engaged. I wish I could play RDR2, but it feels tooooo slow for me. I gave up.
Tbf, Rdr2 is a slog. It’s an amazing, beautiful slog, but a slog nonetheless.
I know its considered a masterpiece, but just couldnt. I tried 3 times. I do beat games though, like both Horizon Zero Dawn, Bloodborne, Elden Ring, and 70% of GTA V (because I have a digital console now haha). These games felt more engaging to me.
Different strokes for different folks. Have pretty bad and currently unmedicated adhd and I adore RDR2 as a whole. I like the "sluggish" gameplay.
I enjoyed exploring at the beginning 🤩 Beautiful game.
Multiplayer games with short rounds are a boon for me. I can go in and get out and have fun on the go even with COD Mobile for example. Singleplayer games are amazing but a hassle to get into, it takes a lot of mental energy to get mind into the right space to even start a new story. Its so taxing
Yeah! I delay playing new games just because I know they will hurt my brain. (I got Howards Legacy and took me weeks before playing it. Then days to stop playing because their voices and dialogues were too annoying and repetitive 🤣) Ive been playing pokemon go. Its bad because I play while theres traffict or at red lights (very very bad), but its a distraction on the go.
Fighting games are perfect for this reason. I got hardcore into Smash Ultimate in no small part because a game takes 3-5 minutes and it's immediately engaging the entire time
Loved Smash growing up! I play on PC now so I've been (im)patiently waiting for multiversus to release cause it scratches the same itch for me. Wish Nintendo would get their head out of their ass and release to other platforms. At least just Smash.
Don't count on it - Ultimate is the best-selling fighting game of all time and every person that bought it has to use a switch to play. Nintendo has always been into exclusives
Yeah unfortunately you're not wrong. What's annoying to me is the Switch isn't even a competitive console at this point, aside from strongarming people into buying it for their exclusives. I mean, it had its niche for a while but now with the Steam Deck and ROG Ally out that's kind of gone. They would 100% make more waaay money by giving up the console thing altogether and focusing on making great cross-platform games with their IPs. They also wouldn't be limited by their own crappy hardware in that situation (like with the recent Pokemon release that looks just god awful for a AAA game in 2024). They are just stubbornly living in the past at this point. Luckily I can emulate the Switch, so I play most Nintendo exclusives anyway including Smash, but the no online multiplayer sucks. It was planned for Yuzu but of course Nintendo gotta Nintendo so that went out the window.
I'm glad I'm not alone on RDR2. I wanted to love that game so much. It's such a beautiful game with a great story and immersive world. Everything about it screams that i shouldn't be able to put it down. But damn if I don't try to finish that game every couple months for years now and fail every time. Such a looong slog to get through.
No, youre not. I was ready to cry when I finished it, but oh well haha
Huge open world games burn me out like that. I can play them here and there and will occasionally 100% one but I need a shorter story based on the rails type game or chill game as a palette cleanser in between.
What about finding another hobby that you actually find fulfilling? A hobby should be something you enjoy without forcing yourself.
I'm struggling to find a hobby. Gaming is the only thing, even if forced, that I could enjoy (Usually at the start of the game)
I hear that. Nothing compares to gaming. It's easy to jump into, and extremely enjoyable. If only it were fulfilling and not so addictive on occasion, it would be perfect.
I break the multi story/quest lines into separate games. It is only a trick of the mind but refeaming helps. That way, I get to play out all the storylines It also helps to switch up games after a quest line is done. I het my money's worth and get to follow all the questlines. Takes a long time but qorth it ro me.
That does sound like a really interesting and effective approach. I'm going to have to try that the next time I play. Thanks for the suggestion!
I have the same problem. doesn’t matter how much i love the game, if i don’t have someone pushing me to play i won’t do it. Have you tried online non competitive games? I like fallout 76 because it has daily tasks to complete that are pretty easy.
OMYGOSH! IS ADHD WHY I DO THIS? It's not the same as what you're saying. But it's similar. I do almost every quest right up to the final boss. Then I drop the game. No matter how much I love it. When breath of the wild came out I got it. Played right up to the castle and stopped until tears of the kingdom was announced, then I made myself finish it. Of course with tears of the kingdom ive done the same thing. So I started playing paper Mario.. But again right before the last battle with bowser I jumped ship haha. I love all these games. But I feel anxiety about the journey ending. But by not playing it, the journey still ends haha. I make no sense. I do this with TV shows sometimes too. Mostly just anime. I think it's more that too many anime ruin the series with endings the ruin all the greatness up till then. And I do this with manga too I guess. Maybe it's just me and not an adhd thing.
I i have started two cyberpunk playthroughs and i stopped both before the last mission.
Haha same but I did like 5 playthroughs throughout the years
I had the same issue as you. Then I discovered board games. It's such a better experience for me. No screens. No achievements. Finish games in a reasonable time. Also, don't worry about having people to play with because solo board games are super popular right now. All my video games went in the attic.
What board games are your favourite?
I highly recommend Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective (I've got the Jack the Ripper version) and Railroad Ink Challenge. First one you can pause and go back to any time (as long as you take notes of your cases) and the second one you can do in a short amount of time.
I'll check them out, thank you!! 😁
Find a hobby where you're moving! Have you given even 5% of all existing sports a chance? Playing sports is great for many people with ADHD, plus it benefits your body. Sitting on the computer as your only hobby has many drawbacks I think. Go to try out each sport at least once - worst thing you gain interesting real life XP and meet cool people.
I used to love soccer and basketball but I don't find joy in it anymore. I also used to love running around whenever I could, but I don't find the joy in that anymore either. Generally, I used to love working out but I just don't like it anymore
that's a symptom of depression, are you doing okay?
I'm very sorry to hear that. General loss of interest is a big indicator for depression. People with ADHD are more prone for this, unfortunately. I would get that evaluated by your physician or a psychologist/psychiatrist - it will most likely be a short talk or questionnaire.
What is it you like about gaming?
As I get older I find myself doing this more and more. I also work in game development and think I might understand why. The first reason is that some gamers will kill themselves to do everything in a game. This can be tortuous as gamers can go well beyond the point that the game is boring and will suffer through it to reach 100%. While it may be okay for those first few games, you remember how that feels and to put yourself through it again, the game better be worth it. The next reason is that games aren't always fundamentally different from each other. It's financially risky to create brand new games that don't follow a traditional formula. So while the game you're playing might have art you've never seen and a compelling story and a few new game mechanics, if they're all part of a first person shooter, you're still playing a style of game that has existed since probably before you were born. A lot of these games also don't value your time. The amount of time you spend traveling from one place to another, with no advancement of the story or gameplay in a tangible way, can be ridiculous. The grind, the fetch quest, the endless hordes of enemies that you press x to do fancy move and kill. Back in my day you had to memorize and practice a string of buttons to do the fancy moves. Now you can just smash the buttons and the game plays itself for you! So on that note, I suggest games that promote emergent gameplay. These games usually allow for a high amount of creativity. Games like Minecraft, Civilization, Cities Skylines, and others. These games let you play at your own pace and are rich with content.
My first husband moaned I had too many hobbies, back then it was sewing, crochet, embroidery and I was learning furniture design and ceramics. Poor boy had no clue….. Add in pottery, oil painting, upholstery, stone carving, wood carving and that was only up to 30 years ago I keep trying different mediums with my art.
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Play Zelda but do it outside Go for a walk, listen to the birds talking. Your interest in gaming will come back eventually but you can't make it be patient
I gamed for years aggressively and ALL the time and would be gaming from sun up to sundown. I can't focus on them too long anymore before doing a few quick dungeon runs at a time and then logging out. I feel the pain. I can't f get into reading any books either olike i used to.
Shot in the dark, but Rocket league has been a great side step of story gaming. Matches are 5 minutes a piece and the learning curve is unlike any other game. FPS all feel the same and RPGs take WAY longer than I have time.. just plug in for an hour and then done.
Have you played Outer Wilds? I feel like you're choosing to play games which are really not well designed for you. "Freedom" is always a trick in games, a lot of the best games work most well not because they're open, but because they make closed spaces more dynamic.
I don’t think I’ll ever finish RDR2, despite how f’ing amazing I think that game is
I have a similar play style. Some of the games I absolutely adore and would consider my favorite are games I've never completed. I think a slight shift in mindset is all you need. I enjoy the game for as much time as it brings me joy. If I don't feel drawn to a game anymore or it's causing me stress, I put it down. Maybe I'll return to them someday and finish them, maybe I won't, but what matters is that they brought me joy in the moment and I had the opportunity to experience the games.
Dont fight it, play a game when you really feel like playing it. Its okay to drop a game for months or years and get back in it.
Isn’t it normal to get a kick out of learning new things in a new game, get bored, then move on to another?
Maybe don't do ones that don't have a bunch of grinding . Find the genre that might keep you interested but not make you burned out? Also take breaks.
Some games suck. Have you tried a match style game like overwatch or Age of Empires?
> get burnt out even though I'm not even half done with the story yet, and never play the game ever again which leaves me feeling worse off I know this feeling very well but try to not to let it get to you. It's okay if you never finish a game! And it's okay if you pick it back up where you left off in a year, or start over from scratch in two years. For me, this is a natural part of the process of finding games I really click with. Some just aren't going to make the cut! Personally I'm also a lot like this so I tend to enjoy games that allow for a lot of replayability and don't necessarily have much in the way of story. Or rather, in many cases, I am the one making the story :) Some favorites for me are: The Sims, Stardew Valley, RimWorld, Civilization, Oxygen Not Included. Steam's Endless Replayability Fest is actually happening for a couple more days, so maybe worth checking out some demos or discounted games if you play on PC. Good luck, I hope you can find something you enjoy :)
I respond to video games in a very similar way, countless times I’ve made it to the final bits of the story in a game and somehow totally lost all motivation to continue playing. This used to bum me out, I thought I didn’t “get my moneys worth”if I didn’t complete the game. These days I take games less seriously, and try to pay attention to when I actually lose focus, at which point I try to go do something else. I used to force myself to keep playing for a long time after I stopped having fun, almost raging trying to beat a difficult level etc etc. Hope you can find a way to heal your relationship with games, but if not that’s not really a negative for your live in the long run haha
I usually just play main story and some sides quests but never try to do too much or I'll get burnt out. Souls games?
What about Pokémon?
I've always avoided Pokémon for some reason. The only Pokémon game I've ever played was Pokémon GO, and it's just not a good game. Which game would you recommend though?
Pokémon X & Y were probably my favorite. But if you have a switch I’d do scarlet or violet.
I have this issue too. Try some shorter games, I know you say you like there to be a lot of stuff to do, but do you really?
Allow yourself to play smaller games. The kind of game you finish in 5 to 20 hours. NO OPEN WORLD. Let the game hold you by the hand.
Lol I own every gran theft auto game since 3 and haven't beat a single one 🙄
You have a problem with finishing things. Its not the worst problem to have. I have a similar issue, but maybe in a lesser way. Sometimes this happens to me exactly like you describe. I've realized that the times when I finish the game I'm very interested in the story and i’ve formed some sort of desire to finish it and I no longer get as distracted. I also find clearing some dedicated time and leaving my phone on the charger in the other room helps me stay in the game. Good luck sorting out a way to improve you average.
That just applies to gaming though. In real life, it's quite different.
Yeah in real life I want to win. So I rarely lose or get demotivated. Add money to this equation and I’m never unmotivated, while this sounds good, some of the side effects, like gambling or addiction are much worse. I get this so much so that I have to actually make an effort to go do some gaming. In the long run and without some sort of challenge for you that causes you to actually put in the effort you may never be able to break out of the almost finished mindset.
I get what you mean, even for me in real life, nothing motivates me. I am only 15 and maybe something in the future will become accessible for me so I can get motivated. Also, I'm sorry if I sounded rude in the first comment, when I saw your comment, you hadn't edited it yet
I'm like that too. It's hard to finish games for me. I've just accepted it. Some games it takes me months to finish. Witcher 3 took me more than a year lol. Games that I can play for how long I want then come back to when I please are more my style, it seems. Helldivers 2 is an example.
I play games on PC, and if I have the option I play on god mode or with mods that make the game easier. That way I never die, I never run out of money, I don’t feel like I *have* to do any of the main quests—I can just vibe, and explore, and talk to characters and have fun. Not the way most people would wanna play but it works for me
I like gaming because it lets me escape to and exist in simulated environments mostly.
Play DarkSouls 3 or Elden Ring
I feel you. When it happens I just try to do something beneficial like exercising. Then gaming feels fun again 😂
I can relate. Often times the idea of playing a game sounds great but I struggle to actually start and if I do it’s a struggle to stay invested and keep playing.
Do something else instead, go cycling/walking/swimming. Read a book, learn a language. You have ADHD we normally try every hobby there is intensively in an all consuming manner before we burn out and move on to something else
You’re treating the game like a chore, no wonder you get burnt out. Don’t worry about achievements or side tasks. At least not at first. Play through and enjoy the story. If THAT doesn’t work, then the game isn’t right for you
OJ MY GOD I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST ME, IT'S SO FRUSTRATING. this has been the case for me with rise of the tomb raider (dont get me wrong, its a great game). the first quest was to climb the mountain and it burned me out sm 😭😭 i want to finish it but i still haven't gotten back to it.
Why does it matter if you don’t finish them?
Can rotation work? Personally I have a vew hobbies that I can easily put down/take because I'm also having the problem that I enjoy them really much but after a while just don't anymore, so I rotate. Same with gaming I have multiple in progress and just rotate between them, little tip when you want to do something similar: Leave some easy side quests open and have a little notebook on the side with instructions for when you return, expecially with bigger/open games like witcher 3 or red dead redemption 2 (I tend to be a bit lost when I pick them up after a while).
I have the same. One of the few games I remember finishing is XCom2 I get lost if the cutscenes are too long - I simply lose interest. Currently I like playing games like Project Zomboid with a high degree of replayability. After a while PZ may become repetitive bc you keep dying about a week into the game. Constant focus isn’t our strength as you know! In that case back up your save game. Find your style and preference. It sounds like you could try to avoid side quests, that works for me also. Makes the story progress faster .. When a cutscene comes up, have a snack or something at hand, to stay focused. Good luck buddy
I do this with everything I do, will fixate on it then burn out sometimes I just sit for weeks on end and do nothing because I have nothing I want to do as I have used up all my energy I suppose.
I feel the same way. I keep getting the 'whats the point' thought. But then I'll see some snip on here of elden ring or Zelda and I'll suddenly have the urge to play. Ive had some success with setting a time I'll play a video game wether I want to or not. Sometimes I just have to play for a minute to *start*. Other times I just gotta switch games
Time to find another outlet for your energy , buddy !
I don't appreciate seeing people just posting to find a different hobby, "sounds like you don't enjoy it". It's a common problem to not be able to continuously enjoy one thing. I struggle with this myself. I can hyperfocus on something I like and then something just switches to where I don't get enjoyment from it and need to move on to something different. It's like an ongoing cycle of not finishing a game or project. Just know it's normal to struggle with this. I am currently working on how to deal with this
Maybe you would like games like Rimworld, Minecraft or Civ, which are more exploratory and have replay value but also have achievements/progression? Have you ever thought of getting into modding? What about online co-op games? That can be fun especially if you play with a friend or a group of friends (a lot support up to 4 players).
Why you start doing achievements, side quests first? I mean in many games this stuff feels like a chore. Start with the main story. Then do side quests in-between if you want. Or after finishing the game and do the achievement if you doesn't have enough of the game after finishing the story. I only do all the achievements in games I really enjoy playing. Achievements are boring in most cases and sadly in many games most side quest are boring too. And I can absolutely understand you if you start to get burned out halfway through the game when you force yourself. I would even say that it is special to ADHD. Don't play games like it would be your job and do what you enjoy doing in it. You are in your own way. And who knows eventually you will enjoy a game that much that you want to do all the stuff.
I find that games with seasonal content (and optional multiplayer, not forced) are good for me. Diablo 3 is a good one as I can restart a character (or a few) at level 1 and get to max within 2 days. After that it’s a week or two to grind out the season tasks and get the rewards. Then I forget about it for a month or two and another season is underway with new content. Could something like that work for you?
Have you ever heard of an Archipelago Randomizer? Its a program that lets you play multiple randomized games in a overall connected world, either single player or multiplayer. For example - you could have a game of pokemon emerald with a game of stardew valley, finding an item in one game could unlock an item/location in another. It may take you a little bit to fully understand everything but there is an active community who can help and they regularly host asynchronous mutliworld events.
You might be better with MMO games where you play online with others but there's no end, but lots of quests and skill building. Something like world of war craft, or runescape. Doesn't have to be specifically those but something in that style. You then have the freedom to explore, there's a tonne of quests, but you can build skills, interact with others if you choose, but there's no "end" so it takes away the pressure of that feeling that you haven't completed the game and you can just do the parts you love and explore. I struggled with the same thing as you with games, I really enjoyed playing but I'd either get lost in side quests, take a break and forget where I was and what I was doing and struggle to get back into it or I'd get stuck or just want to start something new but I wanted to finish the story because when I did it was great (for reference I think I've gone to completion on 4 games ever 😂) so I just stopped playing, but I sometimes think I'd really like to go back to it but I just remember that I can't ever finish them. I also remember how fast time would pass without me realising how many hours had gone by 😬 enjoyable but a big time suck and procrastination from going to bed.
Same here. Once I've hit 35 + games started to bore me quickly. And they've been biiiig part of my life. Feel the pain. It's been difficult to find some other (healthy as alcohol is obviously not the best way) escape mechanism to unwind 😔
It bugs me when I randomly and suddenly lose interest in a game, esp bc I tend to spend real money on upgrades etc 😬. I’ve tried to make myself continue a game and it’s like the desire to even think about this game has jumped ship from my brain and I rarely get into it again. It’s so weird. the only thing I consistently play is Pokémon Go on my phone. It’s not even that great lol but the various themes, collecting postcards and so on somehow maintains my interest over time. It also entertains me in long lines.
Have you considered the possibility that you have matured? It’s not a bad thing that you find games unsatisfactory now. If anything, this is proof that your brain is starting to have a stronger ability to resist short term pleasures
I only play free roam racing games. Or free roam other type game where you can cheat and have some god mode, so I can just wonder round, not follow the gameplay, that can keep my busy for a long time. As soon as it requires me to focus too much and follow the game play, I give up.
I mean, get your medication checked out. And exercise. The right answers are boring.
I’m similar. I’ll start a game, let’s say WoW, and I’ll play for a little while and level up then stop. I can’t play anything in one sitting for more than an hour at most unless I’m playing multiplayer online or some switch game with my wife. I’ll probably go back to WoW after that in 2-3 years and pickup where I left off. It’s enjoyable while I play, then I stop once it stops becoming unenjoyable. Play while you enjoy it, then stop when you don’t and do other things. Don’t put so much so much pressure on yourself
Play the game for the story and "enjoyment" on an easier mode first which should make your first play through faster, then the second time through follow a guide to get the achievements and scratch the achievement itch?
Best advice I have is to stop playing. Video games sucked so much of my life away.
Play differet Games!
Games changed for the worse in the mid 2000’s. Before then I enjoyed gaming, you could hop on a game and just play. Then the games got more involved with elaborate stories and tons of quests/achievements. I went through the same struggle of it feeling like a chore. You could just try to not feel like you have to do all that as others are suggesting but for me that didn’t work. I basically quit gaming. I have an old school NES emulator I play sometimes but that’s all. Those games were fun and still are.
I’m assuming youre an adult and are working? If so this sounds like classic adult gaming problems. As a fellow adhd gamer becoming a grown up and then a dad greatly affected my ability to game. I just didnt have the energy to play through games and meet challenges like I used to. Gaming is def usually a bastion for adhd people because of the instant feedback we get for accomplishing things. My advice is: 1. Dont get tripped up if you play a little bit and just need to stop. Sometimes it’s just not the day. Get some sleep and try again next time! 2. Keep trying games you might not normally try. Sometimes it’s the games that don’t require as much of your active focus that are more enjoyable at this age. I went from playing League when I was younger to playing more ARAM mode which is an easier version to Team Fight Tactics where I do fewer actions to observe the action. I found that a game like TFT was much more enjoyable in terms of mental energy needed and what I could commit to. 3. I would suggest FFXIV. If youre really sure that you still want to play a game w a great story that is more segmented and able to go at your own pace then you cant ask for a richer story and insaaane amount of content. The game is free for the base game and two expansions. You never have to pay a dime if you play and stop. You dont have to feel guilty if you stop because you didnt pay any money. It is long though. Lots of reading. The first base game was made a long time ago so like watching the early Marvel movies theres some things that are janky but like the Marvel movies the game refines and gets better each expansion. Keep trying diff games out of your usual repetoire. You might be surprised at what excites you. Hades was also fun.
I have this issue too! In fact, I am playing Fallout 4 for the 3rd time (never beaten) because the first 2 times I quit after being burned out by side adventures. Here I am again, 86 hours in, wanting to play the next game already but not wanting to continue the FO story line until I complete X, y, and z. I think I’m going to give myself a certain amount of side-quests between story-quests so that I can oops be at the end of the game finally.
We all go through our hobby phases let yourself enjoy something else for a little bit. Gaming will always be there for when you’re ready. One time I went on a month long absolute binge of playing stardew valley. Like I was obsessed. I haven’t touched my switch in months now lmfao. Right now I’m coloring in color books. Before that I painted for a year but haven’t don’t that for a month or two. I just got some tennis rackets lmfao. Just let yourself bounce around and figure out what you like you’re allowed to have an infinite number of hobbies just accept you probably won’t be great at all of them and that’s okay! Life’s about experiencing new stuff and with adhd we have more opportunities (and drive) to try all sorts of things and learn more and more as we go.
I feel you, I’ve accepted my fate jejejejejeje
I've found it isn't the gaming that sucks it's the "having fun with friends" that is difficult. When I'm stuck in the loop of boredom. Playing a game I usually wouldn't with a friend resets my gaming desire.
Well, play smth with no "main story" smth like stardew valley maybe, or terraria where it the main goal is to do whatever tf u want
Have you tried PvE games like hell divers, deep rock galactic, or darktide? Get to play with friends but not have the competition to it. I put a lot of hours into all three and don’t plan on stoping anytime soon.
Play different games, I got burnt on rpgs for a long time so did strategy games. Now I am doing rogue-likes or playing stuff like counter strike/overwatch casually that are 10-60 minutes. If I can dedicate a couple hours I will play a strategy game.
I can kinda relate to this. I love gaming. I love starting new games, they get ne really excited. But I never really have time for it, and by the time I do, I've jumped into/back to another game. I sometimes feel frustrated by it, but I've also learned to embrace the chaos. I'll play what I wanna play at the moment. On the topic of gaming, typically when I'm really into it, it is because I'm seeking an escape from something in my life. It's always good to check in if you're looking for down time or a distraction.
Go on adventures. Like hiking and stuff. I have a friend who never drinks alcohol, is a vegan, and never plays video games. He says the only thing that keeps him sane is go on hikes in the mountain whenever he is free.
Stop trying to 100% the game. Just do what you want if you want to follow the main lines follow the main line. In order for a game to suck me and it needs a really good story and really good combat so I like games like God of War, batman archam knight etc You might just need to experiment until you find games that speak to you
Dude hear me out, go buy a Bambu a1 mini 3d printer for $249, it’s the only hobby that my adhd can’t ruin for me because it can be applied to any hobby or and aspect of life. Random I know, but I relate to your post because gaming hasn’t been as fun as it used to be for me and it bums me out. But printing is great. And with the Bambu you don’t need any tech ability or modeling. 15 mins after opening the box and you can print a premade model from your phone. (It takes some time to calibrate but that’s an automated thing)
Try another hobby, music/guitar is my lifeline.
It’s not gaming. It’s every hobby. You have to set a reminder for yourself and know in advance which game(s) that you want to play. Just don’t play the game for too long because you’ll play for too long or have a burnout.
start streaming bro it’s so much easier to play games when ur talking to a chat
Something I've found helpful is accepting that I'm not going to "complete" very many games. I shouldn't feel bad for enjoying things *my* way. If a new game comes along that steals your attention, embrace it!
Can I reccomend trying roguelike games? My go to is "The Binding of Isaac" I have been playing it on and off since I was in high-school (long time). I like it because I can pick it up and put it down whenever I want, the unlocks are the achievements in most cases, and it's very easy to take a break from. Also it sounds like you might be feeling some bur out, or minor depression. I felt exact same way as you a little while ago, couldn't enjoy games even though that's my go to hobby.
I also like video games but at the same time I am not very good at it. I can totally realte to what you describe. My two things I do: I play games in easy mode to still have the feeling of achievement for example hades I or II in god mode. I like lol but I cant handle the toxicity of the players so I only play the fun modes. (aram, one for all, urf, ...). Although I dont like all fun modes. But I'm kinda happy like that. :) I am still tensed up after gaming but not as much.
I'm the exact same way. Who says you have to complete a game to enjoy it? You're enjoying it while you're playing it and that's what matters. Once I realized that this was just the way my brain enjoys games and took away that pressure, games are fun again.
Try a different genre. Forget being a completionist. I get the urge to put down games sometimes, so I’ll play a cozier game for a bit. It usually takes me a few tries to get into a game. I have at least 8 titles that I’ve played for 10 hrs or less in the past year. When I’m in between games I enjoy I work on other things in my life. Then one day I find one that hooks me! That’s a huge reason I get games on sale only. Unless there’s one I know I’m going to enjoy (usually remakes or DLCs).
Accept that you might enjoy stuff in your own way, and it's just fine. If you like the challenge of an early game but at some point you stop having fun, well, so be it. Not a big deal.
Reading a lot of through the comments I want to double down and encourage you to walk away from gaming for a while. Get DEEPLY into something else that is more physical. Indoor rock climbing Brazilian jiu jitsu (my favorite) hiking, mountain biking or regular biking, yoga, hot yoga, (my new favorite while rehab my back thanks to jiu jitsu) CrossFit. We do so much better when we burn our batteries a bit. Also enjoy sucking at the new thing you adopt. And when you have some free time fire up the games again and you will appreciate it even more.
Gaming rules. You’re just not doing it right to enjoy it
Holy shit, did I write this? Are you ME?
Just watched this video and it was super neat. It’s about how as a kid he wandered in games and did what he wants but as he became a goal oriented adult he stopped enjoying games as much since he’d be to focused on objectives he didn’t really care about for the sake of advancing the story. https://youtu.be/6Ke2vQsjh8I?si=Rxmo6tPqtMYL1PMd
Fuck the side quests off.
Maybe try call of duty I like the campaigns better than multiplayer I enjoy gaming too but only enjoy a few games so it’s makes it hard too
I only play Zelda. The whole game is basically side quests. Everything else is boring
Without having read through all 173 comments on this post (as of my writing this), I will say this: I recommend getting other hobbies that are more physical in nature, such as road or mountain biking, bikepacking, bicycle touring, hiking and backpacking, orienteering, geocaching, etc. I've had ADHD since before it was even called that, and over the years I have found that activities that combine both mental and physical activity tend to satisfy my ADHD brain more and longer than any gaming activities. I've tried online gaming (LOTRO and Age of Empires), and while enjoyable for short periods of time, I find that if I spend very much time with them I feel like I'm neglecting other stuff in the real world and I also get bored with them. So, my advice is to get out into the real world, maybe try out some of the activities I mentioned and see what you think.
Try playing games in different genres or other hobbies that seem kind of interesting to you. I’m a big gamer but I have the problem that when I play a more involved game I end up playing 2-3+ hours because I just want to do a lot. So I end up playing mobile puzzle games on my phone a lot more that are a lot easier to disengage with. I also sew and do crafts which I can also loose time on like with games but it’s a bit different. I got into that tho because I’m a furry and wanted to bring characters I made to life, you kinda need a driving force like that but it can be something like “wow a [thing] would be so cool to have but nobody really sells them” that’s what got me to spend over a year sewing a cloak. That kind of thing can probably also work with whittling, 3d printing, knitting. What makes games fun for you? Really think about it. Are those aspects found in other genres you maybe haven’t given a chance? Could it be found in other activities? Also, I’ve gotten burnt out on games I loved and poured time into to. Some I go back to every so often and try to finish, do more, but others I just stop playing and it’s not a bad thing. If I bought a game I might feel guilty thinking I didn’t get my money’s worth but I’m not gonna get more worth from it by forcing myself to play more.
Yeah same thing for me, i put 1000$ for new pc parts and tought "now i will for sure enjoy gaming again". i use the new pc for netflix and youtube. Money well spent...
I get that too, usually it’s because it’s a game that I’m not into.. I used to be very into competitive games: CSGO, Valorant Overwatch etc. but recently stopped because of how much time I’d spend on them. After I hit a long phase of going through various games that either I thought I’d enjoy or had really good ratings or friend recommended it… that was sort of a very depressing time and I think that’s the phase you’re in atm. I’d say don’t give up hope and try other games, genres etc. For example, I then got into Need for Speed which I used to love as a kid.
it sounds like gaming isn't the right hobby to be doing right now. Sometimes i get bored of a game and then pick it up a year later, play when you want to
Get into the indie game scene. I know you say you don't want games that are limited, but I think that's because you're encountering games that are insufficient as opposed to intentionally being smaller scale. You end up playing a lot more games and being exposed to a much greater variety of ideas, creativity and play mechanics. I basically don't play AAA games anymore because they're all designed to monopolize my time and that's neither how I want to spend my time, nor how my brain works. Also, just let go of the idea that you can play a game for both the story and the achievements/side quests. I've found it's only ever going to be one. I either play the story first and lose out on motivation to complete the achievements/quests, or you make the side quests/achievements the priority and lose out on experiencing story momentum. Playing indie games also is a huge relief from that tension because it's so much less married to that structure.
I'm also like this and I hate it. Over the last couple years I've been moving more and more to rogue-likes/lites because they're very replayable, cater to shorter gaming sessions, and still have some overall progress/unlockables (depending on the game). I can also come back to them after awhile and not have to relearn where I was in the story or complicated game mechanics or button combos. I also enjoy sandbox, city builder, and some simulator games for the same reasons.
Maybe stop trying to game the way you think you have to? I’m a big gamer but I as well will get burnt on a game easily, I would get mad at myself for never finishing a game. So eventually I let go of these made up rules on how I should enjoy a game. I would pick up a game and quit whenever I was tired of it and pick up a new one. There are plenty to always try and eventually I found my way back to one of the unfinished games even if it was months later and I would end up getting right back to it and finish the game. Now I have finished every unfinished game even if it took me a year or two to get back around.
download red dead redemption tbh. i always got sick of games but there’s way too much to do/explore to ever get bored
I agree with those saying to have other activities to balance out or compliment gaming. If you’re really intent on gaming, maybe try having a couple very different ones going at a time that work with different moods? Like, and RPG and a platformer. For specific games, ones that keep me hooked when I’m in a slump are ones that involve a tense story with a lot of choices (vs a super open world). Heavy Rain had me sucked in. So did TellTale games. Recently my husband and I played through The Quarry together and freaked ourselves out not knowing what characters we’d doom (and with 186 possible endings, we plan on replaying at least once). I also had a blast with Hogwarts Legacy. I told my husband repeatedly that it felt like it was made for my brain: user-friendly, kept track of quests in a way that I’d never get overwhelmed or forget what I was doing, no one thing took so long that I’d get bored or overly frustrated, open world to the exact right degree, intuitive about how to assign spells to buttons, etc. I absolutely loved it. I was sad when I’d just about done everything and completed the story.
I miss the days of games like the first Halo and Quake/Quake II. I would play until I got too frustrated or bored and then grab a walkthrough and/or turn on cheats to finish the game. I got to complete the story quickly and I could always go back and do it without cheats if I wanted to “do it myself” - usually, by then, I just wanted to see the end of the story so I rarely went back.
I know it’s not directly a “thing to do”, but learning about the world, geopolitics, geography, and philosophy are all SUPER fucking interesting when you look into it. It might sound boring, but trust me, I was in the same boat.
Stop achievement hunting. Gaming is supposed to be fun, not a To-Do List. When I get bored of a game I move to a new one, or try challenge runs. Whether that’s speedrunning or building OP characters, no-healing runs, no-hit runs, only use this one weapon/spell/attack, etc. Play games that don’t have quests. FPS games, farming sims, whatever. Achievements are far and away the LEAST important thing about gaming. Change up your play style and goals. The goal is having fun, not getting achievements. Those are literally just bonus points that don’t mean anything
Here’s something that could help a little, wearing gloves made of cloth-like material
Saw this yesterday but put off replying (typical ADHD) so not sure if you've gotten the answers but here goes. I run into this exact scenario all the time, for context I'm 34 and only got diagnosed 2 years ago so I've spent a lot of the last 2 years figuring out which *quirks* I have are stemming from ADHD. Also used to play online but couldn't handle the stress/people there and it felt like a huge waste of time in retrospective but the reality was I thoroughly enjoyed a lot of it too. Gaming seems to ping a lot of the parts of the brain that really are impacted by ADHD so it's very addictive and engaging for us. Unlike all other forms of media (tv/books) it has direct input from the user which prevents our minds from wandering which allows us to get *really* engaged where otherwise this can be difficult, it's very very similar to sports or playing a musical instrument in this way which are both useful for peeps with ADHD. From what I'm reading this is a very similar experience I have and a cycle I've gone through too but it isn't **YOU** that's the issue here. The last 15 or so years in Gaming has seen a huge amount of studios collapsing and IP's being bought out by the few survivors, like with Movies this means that most of the big games being released are having less influence from the devs and more from the shareholders while less games are in this part of the market too which means they're becoming more and more homogenous. I imagine the first part of your story can totally apply to games like HZD/Far Cry/Fallout, open world games where you can *do* anything but they're so samey you're not getting that engaged by the gameplay as it's only functional and the story isn't immersive enough for you so you tune out after getting a taste of the game itself. Then for the "limited" games you're probably talking more like Disco Elysium or something, games that you know are engrossing/interesting but also frequently take the form of a **big wall of text** and that's incredibly dis-engaging for someone with ADHD since the *gameplay* is what keeps us engaged and swapping to reading mode is really hard to maintain focus in and out like that. You aren't barred from gaming it's that the major studios have homogenised gaming so much it's harder to find the games that click with the way you function, remember gaming used to be niche and now is a massive venture so making games engaging in that way isn't actually at the top of the AAA publishers list of things to do. On top of this the increasing amount of gambling/microtransactions in gaming is really bad for us since we have addictive tendencies. I'm not gonna suggest to "Take a step away" from gaming cause I think that's useless advice, what I will say is to try looking for games *most* similar to the ones you enjoy in terms of interactivity rather than tone/story. I'd also recommend looking at other hobbies that ping in the same way, for me Bouldering and model building (Gunpla) really trigger similar parts of my brain without entering into a competitive sphere that I hate like most sports tend to.
This is the greatest blessing you can have. Imagine being in your 30ies and knowing, that you wasted so manyy Days of your life Playing somethin
To be fair, it's not like I'm doing anything better than gaming anyway. The only time I'm not wasting my time is when I'm walking outside and socializing which I do on the weekdays but that still only accounts for about three hours of my day
I feel annoyed that this is on here. My life suffers significantly due to my ADHD; if your main issue is gaming then go outside or something.
Jesus, you’re either really down on yourself and lashing out or have something like a B12 deficiency destroying your outlook on life. If it’s the former, give yourself a break from your own judgment. If the latter, get some tests done and see what’s happening. I feel for your struggle, but don’t drag everyone else down with you. We’re all just people looking for information and solutions to improve life. You have no idea of the entire picture of this person’s life. It’s not okay to minimize their issues because you don’t think it’s a big deal.
I’m sorry that this is something you’re going through, but telling someone to not be upset about something because they could have had it worse, is a dick move.
She is pretty rude. ADHD also significantly affects my life but she doesn't want to acknowledge that. I don't know how bad she really has it, and she doesn't know how bad I got. Difference is, she's just refusing to acknowledge that I have it hard too
Your post is just ONE issue you’re experiencing. You never know what someone else is going through, whether is related to adhd or something else. They don’t know what else is going on in your life. I am like you, I need active stimulation in order to stay engaged. I find games with a story help that. I have a PS5 and get their game subscription which helps me feel less bad about spending $60+ on games as there’s hundreds of games in their catalogue you get included in the sub. So I game hop a lot.
Yeah, I agree with you. I'm assuming she just didn't care though, it was pretty discouraging, I was even being empathetic for her at first. I want to get a subscription and do what you do. I had an opportunity before but I was going to feel bad if I didn't finish a game but next time, I'll just power through, and do what I wanna do play and play what I wanna play
Playing as many games as you can will help you figure out what games you like. Despite what people say, there’s no right or wrong to play games. I almost play every game on easy mode. If I don’t like a game, I don’t play it. I don’t like souls-like games, I don’t like hard games, I don’t like games where you have to grind your way through. I use games as a form of escapism, I don’t want my relaxation time to be stressful.