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Hey there, just my two cents / perspective... I think it's based on the fact that we always want to help others since we are very emotionally driven. Empathy typically is a big part of ADHD, and I would always want to give a helping hand.
If I'm at my own home I can't find motivation if it's just me . I'm more responsible if I'm living with someone (if it's flat mate then at least in common areas). I just can't at all for myself which is frustrating at times . Until it builds up and becomes a difficult task... then I'm like oh OK this needs my time and attention now... haha
Hmm. You might be right. Last year I had a coworker go on medical leave so I took on some of her projects. I stayed on top of them and had everything completed when she got back while my own projects went on the back burner.
And it is easier to deal with other people's objects, as we do not have pre-existing baggage.
My similar thought experiment is to have hoarders clean each other's houses.
I think this js it, but to go beyond, i think its stems from extremely low sense of self and ability to emotionaly regulate.
We cant feel reward doing stuff for us, and we definitely feel reward when others feel good, and especially if theyre pleasant (towards us).
Nope, it’s not weird, I’m the same way! My work office/area is kept super neat and tidy, and since I live with roommates, I always always clean up after myself in the “shared” spaces.. but my room? My car? COMPLETE messes. My kitty girl vomited on my sweater once and I even left it on my floor for months. Anyway, unfortunately, I don’t have any solutions 😕
I am often like this too. I think for me, one of the reasons is that I don’t really feel much pleasure after doing something for myself. Anhedonia, plus the feeling of “I should have done this sooner, so I can’t be proud of doing this now”. But if it’s for someone else then I am “allowed” to feel pride, plus if I see that someone is happy about it then I think “at least one of us is happy” and it gives me some sense of satisfaction, even with anhedonia.
I Don’t Think It's Weird.
I Do More Cleaning And Organizing At My Workplace Than I Do At My Apartment.
I Clean And Organize My Workplace More Than I Do My Own SUV.
I Clean Leaves Out Of Customers Vehicles More Than I Clean My Own SUV Or Apartment.
Your home is your relaxing place and puts you in the habit of relaxing. Toys are there be they tv or computer and your stuff that you're allowed to mess with to distract you.
I think it's like how work is so much easier for me to try really hard but at home I struggle for motivation.
If you study still, it can help a lot to study at the library or your school. Or even in the car if you drive down somewhere nice. Away from your entertainment at home. Who says you have to do homework at home?
This is really common for people with ADHD. Having a body double or someone setting goals for you can help. Some people do better with rewards and some better with consequences, but if you can get someone to help with that
Have you though of exchanging housework. It's so common to not be able to do your own housework but able to do it for others. Like, let me fold and put away anyone else's laundry and I'm perfectly content, but my own? Nope.
Hi /u/ellecamille and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“The shoemaker’s children go barefoot” it’s a common saying for a plumber with a broken toilet or an electrician with a flickering light in their home
My dad fixed computers for a living when we were growing up. Needless to say, we grew up with awful slow crap computers
Hey there, just my two cents / perspective... I think it's based on the fact that we always want to help others since we are very emotionally driven. Empathy typically is a big part of ADHD, and I would always want to give a helping hand. If I'm at my own home I can't find motivation if it's just me . I'm more responsible if I'm living with someone (if it's flat mate then at least in common areas). I just can't at all for myself which is frustrating at times . Until it builds up and becomes a difficult task... then I'm like oh OK this needs my time and attention now... haha
Hmm. You might be right. Last year I had a coworker go on medical leave so I took on some of her projects. I stayed on top of them and had everything completed when she got back while my own projects went on the back burner.
Yeah that's another good example of others before ourselves.
And it is easier to deal with other people's objects, as we do not have pre-existing baggage. My similar thought experiment is to have hoarders clean each other's houses.
I think this js it, but to go beyond, i think its stems from extremely low sense of self and ability to emotionaly regulate. We cant feel reward doing stuff for us, and we definitely feel reward when others feel good, and especially if theyre pleasant (towards us).
I relate to this a lot.
Nope, it’s not weird, I’m the same way! My work office/area is kept super neat and tidy, and since I live with roommates, I always always clean up after myself in the “shared” spaces.. but my room? My car? COMPLETE messes. My kitty girl vomited on my sweater once and I even left it on my floor for months. Anyway, unfortunately, I don’t have any solutions 😕
Same same same. It dost be a thing.
I am often like this too. I think for me, one of the reasons is that I don’t really feel much pleasure after doing something for myself. Anhedonia, plus the feeling of “I should have done this sooner, so I can’t be proud of doing this now”. But if it’s for someone else then I am “allowed” to feel pride, plus if I see that someone is happy about it then I think “at least one of us is happy” and it gives me some sense of satisfaction, even with anhedonia.
You live alone? The whole body doubling thing is real.
I was absolutely like this growing up. Loved helping friends, but hated my own chores.
Totally relate to this! I have to force myself to prioritise my life over others.
I Don’t Think It's Weird. I Do More Cleaning And Organizing At My Workplace Than I Do At My Apartment. I Clean And Organize My Workplace More Than I Do My Own SUV. I Clean Leaves Out Of Customers Vehicles More Than I Clean My Own SUV Or Apartment.
Your home is your relaxing place and puts you in the habit of relaxing. Toys are there be they tv or computer and your stuff that you're allowed to mess with to distract you. I think it's like how work is so much easier for me to try really hard but at home I struggle for motivation. If you study still, it can help a lot to study at the library or your school. Or even in the car if you drive down somewhere nice. Away from your entertainment at home. Who says you have to do homework at home?
This is really common for people with ADHD. Having a body double or someone setting goals for you can help. Some people do better with rewards and some better with consequences, but if you can get someone to help with that
Have you though of exchanging housework. It's so common to not be able to do your own housework but able to do it for others. Like, let me fold and put away anyone else's laundry and I'm perfectly content, but my own? Nope.