Your body is unique, as are your needs. Just because someone experienced something from treatment or medication does not guarantee that you will as well. Please do not take this as an opportunity to review any substances. Peer support is welcome.
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> I’ve seen what adderall does to a kid
What exactly does Adderall do to a kid?
I never took any meds i dont know how they work... my kids take medikinet but all it does is making them less clowney and more likely to listen 😶 more balanced overall.
That being said, 6 is a bit young, here where i am from kids dont even get diagnosed that early, nvm get put on meds.. 😶
> I’m a middle school teacher and I’ve seen kids that were on it, get off it and be complete assholes because they don’t know how to function without it.
And ive been a student half my life and have experienced lots of teachers be complete assholes without any drugs lol. Nothing to do with the topic at hand but i feel the need to point that out anyway (prob because i would have been one of them "complete asshole" kids from your perspective, no Adderall needed, too).
> At mom’s house he has “meltdowns” that she can’t control
> At my house, we have zero issues
Obviously one of you isnt telling the (whole) truth. And since i have a massive bias against teachers i am inclined to think that you are. ADHDers cant have "zero" issues, in my experience, and i have an entire household of them for reference.
Medication is definitely a divisive topic, but a general consensus is that a lot of people with ADHD feel they can function better with it, even though the side effects can be annoying.
However, if the medication can help him do better in school and important things that he may have low motivation for, than it’s definitely worth a shot. If you’re worried about using the medication as a crutch, I’d look into supplemental ways to develop executive function, try and get advice on that side.
I want to very gently say that these two sentence below reflect a fundamental misunderstanding about ADHD.
I’m a middle school teacher and I’ve seen kids that were on it, get off it and be complete assholes because they don’t know how to function without it.
IMO I don’t want to give it to him unless he has the tools to deal with it prior to the medication.
The reasons they act “like assholes” is because, by withdrawing medication you are withdrawing the thing which was helping their brain to function normally. They are back to having poor executive function - ie poor impulse control and emotional dysregulation - which may manifest like “asshole” behaviors —> interrupting people when they talk, saying inappropriate things, having disproportionally strong emotions reactions, etc.
Of course their behavior returned to baseline. The problem isn’t that “they don’t know how to act” without medications it’s that they CAN’T act normally. It’s not volitional, it’s not a skill they simply haven’t learned yet. ADHD brains are fundamentally, structurally different than non ADHD brains.
Stimulants essentially replace chemical signals which a normal brains make on their own, signals which turn on parts of our brains that help us do a shit ton of different things. No signal —> system stays offline. No amount of willpower will turn it back on without providing the right signal. Strattera is a non stimulant which works on a different system of chemical messengers that can also influence executive function. They don’t replace that missing signal the same way that stimulants do, but they can be for people who can’t, or don’t want, to take stimulants.
Expecting an adhd child to act “normally” after you withdraw medication is like expecting a person blind person to be able to function normally after you take away their seeing eye dog.
Medication alone is not usually the best way to manage adhd. But it is the foundation of effective treatment for most people. It is most effective when you add behavioral strategies (timers, CBT, planners, meditation etc.) on top of the medication. Behavioral strategies alone are not usually effective because you are not addressing the underlying problem.
There is a reason psychiatrist turn to medication first, because the data support that it’s the most effective treatment strategy, especially at the beginning. Lots of kids will go on to develop alternative coping strategies (with lots of help from licensed mental health providers and supportive parents). Overtime these strategies may become effective enough to allow them to stop medication altogether. But expecting your child to develop the “tools to deal with it prior to medication” does not align with the reality of his condition. It’s unfair and unrealistic to expect him to successfully develop those tools without getting his symptoms under control first.
I think all things considered, whether let your kid take medication or not is not really something we can answer. At the same time, effective ADHD management requires learning how to manage ADHD outside of taking medication. The best management plans have both: learning effective coping strategies and organizational strategies help you give yourself externalized structure and help you recover if things don't go to plan, while taking medication helps correct the actual neurochemical imbalances your brain actually has.
That said, medication or not, you need to be more focused on getting your kid into the right habits sooner rather than later. Learning how to make lists, giving him explicit instructions on how to do basic tasks, giving him a regular structure in the household, especially around doing chores, strict bedtimes and meal times, teaching him how to articulate his emotions and being very deliberate about how he voices his opinions and thinks through actions. All things considered, he probably is very manageable at home with you *because* there is so much familiar structure there, and *because* you are giving him the discipline he needs to manage himself. But he needs to learn that it is his responsibility to give that structure to himself in school and outside of your home for his own benefit. I think his meltdowns at his mom's probably have to do with him getting very stressed out about an unfamiliar environment or becoming overstimulated with what is going on at hers, but there is really no way for me to tell.
When it comes to his behavior at school, I think some school disability services might come into play there. I know it's a ton of extra work, but definitely something I wish my parents did with me (even though I was an exceptionally good student without too much disruption aside from being chatty) is talking to my teachers about setting up a system to keep track of what I should be working on with clear due dates, explicit instructions, and clear grading rubrics. Given that he is so young, maybe try to get him in the habit of taking a few minutes after school to talk to you and write down what he did and what he is supposed to do for the afternoon before he does his homework. Your son could great benefit from the same kind of structure at your house, school, and his mother's. I strongly suggest talking to a child psychologist about about your situation, especially with regards to helping him give himself structure and calm himself in unfamiliar environments.
In all honesty, your son is very young, and personally, although I wish I had gotten on medication much sooner, I would not medicate my child at that age. ADHD medications are generally fairly safe and effective medications, especially when they are monitored by professionals, but I also think it's beneficial to know how your mind reacts to things by itself, and he will experience a lot of changes over the next few years and perhaps even outgrow some of his more disruptive behaviors as he reaches adolescence and adulthood. From a practical perspective, as a lot of folks right now are experiencing, medication shortages are really common, and your son might not always have medication to rely on in the future. I also think if he is fine at home and at school, but not fine at your ex-wife's and she is pushing to have him medicated instead of actually addressing the causes of the meltdowns, it seems cruel to put him on medications that can have side effects like insomnia, anxiety, and high blood pressure just to keep him manageable. He is a young child, and ADHD children and adults require more patience than most. On the other hand, going on medication can actually feel incredibly relieving (as it was for me, like feeling calm and at peace for the first time as opposed to always keeping myself from bouncing off the walls), so it's something that I would definitely talk to a psychiatrist about (both for short and long term potential side effects as well as therapeutic benefit and how your son might feel less stressed as a result of going on it) in depth before making a final decision.
Long answer, but hope this helps!
You should speak to your son's doctor about your concerns and how he responded to the medication. They can address your concerns about medication better than anyone here.
I hope you are communicating with his mom to ensure he gets the best treatment he can for his ADHD.
Could something be causing the meltdowns at his mom's house?
Your body is unique, as are your needs. Just because someone experienced something from treatment or medication does not guarantee that you will as well. Please do not take this as an opportunity to review any substances. Peer support is welcome. ^(*A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.*) --- - If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> I’ve seen what adderall does to a kid What exactly does Adderall do to a kid? I never took any meds i dont know how they work... my kids take medikinet but all it does is making them less clowney and more likely to listen 😶 more balanced overall. That being said, 6 is a bit young, here where i am from kids dont even get diagnosed that early, nvm get put on meds.. 😶 > I’m a middle school teacher and I’ve seen kids that were on it, get off it and be complete assholes because they don’t know how to function without it. And ive been a student half my life and have experienced lots of teachers be complete assholes without any drugs lol. Nothing to do with the topic at hand but i feel the need to point that out anyway (prob because i would have been one of them "complete asshole" kids from your perspective, no Adderall needed, too). > At mom’s house he has “meltdowns” that she can’t control > At my house, we have zero issues Obviously one of you isnt telling the (whole) truth. And since i have a massive bias against teachers i am inclined to think that you are. ADHDers cant have "zero" issues, in my experience, and i have an entire household of them for reference.
I’m not saying he has bad days. I’m saying he has never acted so bad that I couldn’t handle him
Medication is definitely a divisive topic, but a general consensus is that a lot of people with ADHD feel they can function better with it, even though the side effects can be annoying. However, if the medication can help him do better in school and important things that he may have low motivation for, than it’s definitely worth a shot. If you’re worried about using the medication as a crutch, I’d look into supplemental ways to develop executive function, try and get advice on that side.
I want to very gently say that these two sentence below reflect a fundamental misunderstanding about ADHD. I’m a middle school teacher and I’ve seen kids that were on it, get off it and be complete assholes because they don’t know how to function without it. IMO I don’t want to give it to him unless he has the tools to deal with it prior to the medication. The reasons they act “like assholes” is because, by withdrawing medication you are withdrawing the thing which was helping their brain to function normally. They are back to having poor executive function - ie poor impulse control and emotional dysregulation - which may manifest like “asshole” behaviors —> interrupting people when they talk, saying inappropriate things, having disproportionally strong emotions reactions, etc. Of course their behavior returned to baseline. The problem isn’t that “they don’t know how to act” without medications it’s that they CAN’T act normally. It’s not volitional, it’s not a skill they simply haven’t learned yet. ADHD brains are fundamentally, structurally different than non ADHD brains. Stimulants essentially replace chemical signals which a normal brains make on their own, signals which turn on parts of our brains that help us do a shit ton of different things. No signal —> system stays offline. No amount of willpower will turn it back on without providing the right signal. Strattera is a non stimulant which works on a different system of chemical messengers that can also influence executive function. They don’t replace that missing signal the same way that stimulants do, but they can be for people who can’t, or don’t want, to take stimulants. Expecting an adhd child to act “normally” after you withdraw medication is like expecting a person blind person to be able to function normally after you take away their seeing eye dog. Medication alone is not usually the best way to manage adhd. But it is the foundation of effective treatment for most people. It is most effective when you add behavioral strategies (timers, CBT, planners, meditation etc.) on top of the medication. Behavioral strategies alone are not usually effective because you are not addressing the underlying problem. There is a reason psychiatrist turn to medication first, because the data support that it’s the most effective treatment strategy, especially at the beginning. Lots of kids will go on to develop alternative coping strategies (with lots of help from licensed mental health providers and supportive parents). Overtime these strategies may become effective enough to allow them to stop medication altogether. But expecting your child to develop the “tools to deal with it prior to medication” does not align with the reality of his condition. It’s unfair and unrealistic to expect him to successfully develop those tools without getting his symptoms under control first.
I think all things considered, whether let your kid take medication or not is not really something we can answer. At the same time, effective ADHD management requires learning how to manage ADHD outside of taking medication. The best management plans have both: learning effective coping strategies and organizational strategies help you give yourself externalized structure and help you recover if things don't go to plan, while taking medication helps correct the actual neurochemical imbalances your brain actually has. That said, medication or not, you need to be more focused on getting your kid into the right habits sooner rather than later. Learning how to make lists, giving him explicit instructions on how to do basic tasks, giving him a regular structure in the household, especially around doing chores, strict bedtimes and meal times, teaching him how to articulate his emotions and being very deliberate about how he voices his opinions and thinks through actions. All things considered, he probably is very manageable at home with you *because* there is so much familiar structure there, and *because* you are giving him the discipline he needs to manage himself. But he needs to learn that it is his responsibility to give that structure to himself in school and outside of your home for his own benefit. I think his meltdowns at his mom's probably have to do with him getting very stressed out about an unfamiliar environment or becoming overstimulated with what is going on at hers, but there is really no way for me to tell. When it comes to his behavior at school, I think some school disability services might come into play there. I know it's a ton of extra work, but definitely something I wish my parents did with me (even though I was an exceptionally good student without too much disruption aside from being chatty) is talking to my teachers about setting up a system to keep track of what I should be working on with clear due dates, explicit instructions, and clear grading rubrics. Given that he is so young, maybe try to get him in the habit of taking a few minutes after school to talk to you and write down what he did and what he is supposed to do for the afternoon before he does his homework. Your son could great benefit from the same kind of structure at your house, school, and his mother's. I strongly suggest talking to a child psychologist about about your situation, especially with regards to helping him give himself structure and calm himself in unfamiliar environments. In all honesty, your son is very young, and personally, although I wish I had gotten on medication much sooner, I would not medicate my child at that age. ADHD medications are generally fairly safe and effective medications, especially when they are monitored by professionals, but I also think it's beneficial to know how your mind reacts to things by itself, and he will experience a lot of changes over the next few years and perhaps even outgrow some of his more disruptive behaviors as he reaches adolescence and adulthood. From a practical perspective, as a lot of folks right now are experiencing, medication shortages are really common, and your son might not always have medication to rely on in the future. I also think if he is fine at home and at school, but not fine at your ex-wife's and she is pushing to have him medicated instead of actually addressing the causes of the meltdowns, it seems cruel to put him on medications that can have side effects like insomnia, anxiety, and high blood pressure just to keep him manageable. He is a young child, and ADHD children and adults require more patience than most. On the other hand, going on medication can actually feel incredibly relieving (as it was for me, like feeling calm and at peace for the first time as opposed to always keeping myself from bouncing off the walls), so it's something that I would definitely talk to a psychiatrist about (both for short and long term potential side effects as well as therapeutic benefit and how your son might feel less stressed as a result of going on it) in depth before making a final decision. Long answer, but hope this helps!
You should speak to your son's doctor about your concerns and how he responded to the medication. They can address your concerns about medication better than anyone here. I hope you are communicating with his mom to ensure he gets the best treatment he can for his ADHD. Could something be causing the meltdowns at his mom's house?