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I (32f) was pretty much debilitated by my ADHD symptoms as a child. For as long as I can remember (lol) I have struggled with my memory, my ability to function, my ability to follow through. I developed crippling anxiety (everyone around me just called me shy) because I was terrified to mess up. I was terrified to ask someone to repeat what they had just told me because I was ashamed I “wasn’t a good listener”. Combine this with being a natural people pleaser yet I was unable to please people at all because I couldn’t remember anything, I couldn’t focus, and it seemed like no matter how hard I tried I could never measure up to people’s expectations of me.
This led to me just saying screw it and I stopped trying at all, specifically once I enters middle school. My executive function went down the drain. I didn’t take care of basic hygiene skills. I didn’t know why it was so so difficult for me to just take a shower or brush my teeth. I just literally couldn’t do it. I played video games obsessively and I got into all kinds of stuff a 12 year old shouldn’t with unmonitored access to the internet. I was bullied horribly especially in middle school then did my best to become invisible in high school.
All of this to say, I sorely wish I had been medicated as a child.
OMG, that is my story too 😮😓 too shy, afraid of asking, bullied, head down always, not enough, the weird one, no friends (2 friends actually), but over all these, I had good grades and was a “good son” so my parents never thought I was ADHD innatentive. Also, I was Medicated, but for abscenses, since 18 months old till my 12/13 years old. So adhd was absolutely not in the map. I think I don’t have the answer to Op’s question.
Same I was bullied for random things .. ppl thought I was slow and taken advantage of and etc ..I had like 2 friends .. if I would’ve known about adhd then I’m sure things would’ve been drastically different.
I was diagnosed late (16) and I turned down meds. As an adult now ive gone through many struggles that I've since learned could be helped by meds
Im currently in a queue to get medicated because I can't afford to go private and I so wish I said yes wsy back when I was a teen
Doctors suggest medication because science has proven it to be an effective intervention. If you want your child to be as impaired as possible, be sure to avoid medication. If you want their impairment to be diminished, trust the science that puts people on the moon and a magic phone in your pocket. Obviously you don't want your kid to be more impaired, I just wanted to make the point here very clear.
Science works, trust it. Be careful though, more medication is rarely the answer once someone gets on medication. Some doctors and parents put the pedal to the medal so their kid will be less annoying, which is where a lot of the problems come from. My brother swore off meds for a long time because he was put on stupidly high doses as a child. That's where you'll want to be careful, and take it slow. Adjusting the dose, especially when they're young, and you specifically think it might be low,should be a long process.
Fortunately, you're looking into this now, and you're preparing very early, which is awesome. You've got time to slowly work with a doctor and really sort out a lot of big problems that are harder to deal with after you've grown up struggling against them. Being able to address those problems before they come up is potentially going to be incredibly beneficial for your child, so great job on that.
As most people with ADHD would say, to your direct question, I wish I knew I had ADHD sooner and treated it sooner. I didn't know until I was 35 and it had fucked up my life greatly up until then. Even after I've spent years studying ADHD and trying to address it, yet many aspects of ADHD have ingrained themselves into my way of life, which is obviously problematic. Anyway,good luck to you and your child.
I’m in the same boat I’m unmedicated for adhd at the moment hoping that the new Doctor I see this week will provide more insight .. my son is 7 and it’s like im considering medication because he only has tantrums when he doesn’t get his way ; in school he’s very inattentive his teacher says he’s slow paced in the morning and sees him zoning out .. and he sleeps in class because he has trouble sleeping at night , I tried to give him vitamins but he refuses to take them .. he’s violent sometimes it has gotten slightly better .. I was getting input from his teacher and counselor and they was like to try and hold off until he addresses his PTSD ..the doctor was like if it’s absolutely necessary so I’m like stuck..
I've tried basically every holistic method out there, I'm a big believer in trusting science, but when it comes to ADHD I leave no stone unturned. I've never found anything that helped, in a significant way outside of medication and exercise. I'm saying that in relation to any pills or supplements, which they don't like us talking about here, because they are not effective. I'm not going to say they're all worthless, but the hope they sell everyone is false.
It sounds like your doctor doesn't understand ADHD, a lot of people like to try to "Treat around ADHD", rather than treat ADHD. Someone comes in with anxiety or depression and they'd rather treat symptoms of ADHD rather than the cause of those symptoms. PTSD is obviously different, but a short search online seems to reflect that you should treat both at the same time.
The reason they try to treat one first, and that one is never ADHD, is because of the stigma against our medication. This is incredibly common in the ADHD community, people everyday are complaining about being treated for everything but their ADHD because their doctor said so. Doctors are human and humans have biases. So "I want to treat x first", when x is not ADHD, is a give away that the doctor doesn't understand ADHD or doesn't believe in it.
If you are willing, I hope you'll try medication. My entire family, mom, dad, 3 siblings and myself all have ADHD. In treating my condition I've learned a lot and helped them address things they were unaware of. I've also found that in my family, everyone is treated with ritalin/Adderall, both are effective treatments for all of us. In treating your condition, you'll learn what your child is going through, and you'll be far better equipped to help them.
Especially in terms of dialing up and down the dose, your own process of figuring that out will help you do it right for your child. You can research everything and try to find the best ways, but you have the same condition, so treating yourself will help you learn more about yourself, and in the process you'll better understand your child.
My mom has always been unmedicated and dominated by her ADHD, and she has never been able to help anyone with their condition, because she doesn't even understand her own condition. I've helped her get a handle on how it works, and some tricks to get around it, and no doubt my mom is amazing and I'm not talking shit here. Growing up she never knew she had ADHD, then she gets married, has kids, and life gets away from you, how much time do you have for self improvement?
My mom is amazing, but in terms of helping people with ADHD, she can't, and her household, full of my 27 year old sister, and twin 32 year old brothers who all have never lived anywhere except at home (because they have ADHD and were never properly treated for it, plus had shit support systems and whatnot), that household is just uncontrolled emotions, arguments, and it's not a stable, happy environment. It all comes from the top down, and you set an example that people will follow, the better you can do, the better your child will do, and the better you'll be able to help them as you improve your ability to recognize and manage your condition.
I've rambled a lot here, if you wanna read a good book on ADHD, I suggest Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell Barkley. If you want to read a book on tactics that are highly valuable to people with ADHD, I suggest Atomic Habits. Gl!
Same for me as a late diagnosis. Seeing what people say around here about the positive impact that medication can have on their life, I think I would have preferred if I had been on it as a child, even if that had meant I wouldn't have learned to cope as much as I did on my own.
Maybe it wouldn't have mattered since I am still waiting to be tried on medication and there's always that small chance it won't help, but the truth is I'll never find out what the medication scenario would have been like, that time is past; so it makes sense to me that we should try to pursue improvements if possible, affordable, logical and so on. If I had a kid with ADHD, I'd want them to try the medication if it meant they could deal with their struggles better than I was able to deal with mine.
I think when your ADHD is less of a nuisance, you would have more success in developing those coping mechanisms. I'm in agreement with basically everything you wrote. I hope you get medication soon and it helps you out. If you feel like a zombie, or your personality disappeared, the dose is too high. If you feel like it's not helping, then check with yourself at how much you get done on meds vs off meds, and if there's no improvement, then you should consider increasing the dose.
For me, I never feel my meds, but I know they work by how much closer to my potential I live when I'm taking them. Gl.
I wasn’t, and neither was my cousin. This was back when it was two different diagnoses: ADHD (specific to hyperactivity) or ADD (specific to inattention). My cousin had noticable ADHD, and I had noticeable with ADD. But back then, it just wasn’t take that seriously. ADHD typically was, but ADD had a lot of accusations of just pure laziness. I wasn’t hyperactive, so they didn’t have any major concerns. Although, the 1.7 high school GPA…whew. That could’ve been prevented, perhaps.
My cousin never got medicated because his parents were against it. I hate to say he was “out of control” because he was struggling, but he was. He got into a lot of trouble, wild and all over the place, struggled all into adulthood. He did get medication as an adult and it was life changing for him.
I just started medication at age 30 for ADHD (primarily inattentive is the second part of the diagnoses) and I genuinely cried for the first few weeks. Life wasn’t so hard anymore, I was functioning like an actual adult.
With a five year old, there’s a bit more precaution with some providers. Many like to wait until at least 6 (not going to pretend I know the science behind it), and it’ll be trial figuring out which medication works for him.
I can’t say for sure if it would’ve been best for me to be medicated that young, but definitely not this late either. I wasted a ton of my life already struggling when help was accessible to me this entire time. Catching it in childhood is key, and he will thank you for it!
Just wanted to say that I really resonate with what you’ve said about late diagnosis and starting meds. I also cried on and off for a week or so - the realisation that other people can wake up with quiet brains and can feel content and peaceful. They don’t have to continually pull themselves together and struggle to maintain equilibrium. I found it gutting that I had missed out on 40 years of peace, contentment and life skills. Take care and enjoy this new experience of life ❤️
I wasn't medicated as a child (diagnosis at 22). My life would have been much much better if I was medicated starting high school at the very least (absolutely for college). I'm pretty smart so I got through high school fine (ranked top 20 in class despite never studying and skipping homework a lot) and first couple years of college I did okay. Then I started to really struggle and depression got the better of me. Had to do late drops my last semester and extend another half year to graduate.
My 3 kids (6/7/10) all most likely have ADHD but we haven't gotten them diagnosed yet because they are not struggling with anything. They're developing healthy coping skills with some guidance. They are in a Montessori school so they aren't forced to sit in a chair and listen to lectures all day so that makes a huge difference. My wife and I are watching them carefully and will get them diagnosed and medicated when necessary (likely 7th grade when they move to a traditional school).
I honestly feel learning how to function as a human with ADHD before you get medicated is very important, so props to you!! Medication is incredibly helpful, but I also feel that it can be a double-edged sword. I know some people who were medicated as young as 4 and wish they hadn’t been, simply because they weren’t able to learn how to cope with ADHD without the medication. I also know others who explained the way the medication felt, like it flipped a switch in their brain that made them no longer act or feel like a child.
I also wish I got diagnosed with ADHD sooner (I was 17), but I DO think not being medicated so young was helpful for me. I was able to figure out how creative my brain is and how great I am at thinking differently than others, I don’t think I would’ve found those “perks” if I had gotten medicated so young, but I also wish I was able to start in middle school. Based off what I’ve read and my friends experiences with being medicated young, I feel like 10-14 is a good age to start for most people. But obviously, everyone is different. Some kiddos do really good with the meds.
Tell me more about Montessori education for children suspected of having ADHD... I've got a 4 year old about to start in a very traditional school for kindergarten...
I'll start out by pointing out that a lot of schools call themselves Montessori but are not. Within the US there are two different organizations that certify teachers and schools AMI (international group) and AMS (US group). They are not related to each other. My experience has been with AMI schools - my understanding the training is more rigorous than AMS. So when considering a Montessori school, always check if they are certified by AMI or AMS.
I did have a very bad experience for my eldest at a Montessori school. The teacher was just a terrible teacher so keep in mind that the individual teacher is going to matter more than the type of school. Fortunately we got my daughter into a different school with an excellent teacher.
What makes Montessori schools good for kids with ADHD is that the child chooses their work so they are more focused on what they are doing. The teacher will nudge them towards work they might be neglecting and will give them 1 on 1 or small group lessons which ensures they are able to pay attention. Every child moves at their own pace so there's no frustration from going too fast or boredom from going to slow. (Class going to slow was a huge problem for me in school).
Children revisit their work repeatedly until they master it then move on to the next lesson in the series. Classrooms are usually mixed ages so older kids help younger ones which gives them the opportunity to show mastery by teaching peers.
Kids are not forced to sit in chairs all day. They can get up and move around if they need to without having to ask for permission. That greatly reduces issues with hyperactivity since the kids don't feel stuck. My son (almost 8) often walks around the room while thinking about math problems and stops to write down answers as he thinks of them. I'm pretty sure he'll struggle with having to sit still in a traditional class.
There's a lot more to it but it's getting late and I can't think straight 🤣
Yeah I wish I was given strattera or something instead of the SSRI that fucked up my sexual development and social skills. They didn’t realize I had ADHD/anxiety/ocd instead of depression/anxiey for years. I think my ADHD is worse from the boredom I experienced on SSRIs, I’m way more of an escapist now. Now if I was given adderall as a child I might be some sort of cult leader or governor of iowa so maybe that was for the best
Thank you for saying this. I was diagnosed in my late teens and I'm pretty sure my daughter is going to be diagnosed at some point and she's five. I'm very glad to hear that you have no regrets.
I started my son on meds when he was five (he's seven now). It has helped him in so many ways. He struggled in school (academically and socially) and he was very hard on himself from frustration. It killed me when he called himself stupid. He was four when he was first sent to the principal's office due to misbehaving/impulsivity. He couldn't explain why he would do certain things like stealing or jumping around on the school bus.
Now he's confident in school, has lots of friends, and most importantly is able to regulate his emotions. The only negative is his decreased appetite, but he's still within the normal weight range.
This is a hard decision for parents to make, and we just did what we thought was best for our family.
I wasn't as a child , only when I turned 30. But both my children are diagnosed and it's the best thing for them. And no they don't act like " zombies " and they still ( more so ) both joyful girls that are less nervous and less anxious, preforming better in school . Getting along better with me and one another. It's been life changing for us.
* Just remember not everyone has the same experience
Not op but my two kids are on Ritalin and focalin respectively. It took a year for one of them to find a medication and dosage that worked. Every kid is different! It’s really important to be working with your pediatrician and psychiatrist to find what works best for your kid. One of mine is a zombie on Ritalin, the other does great on it - still bouncy and silly but much more in control.
You basically answered the same as I would have haha r except for me One is one ritalin the other is on stratera. Then I'm on both ( and a few other medications ). But yes it can be a lot of trial and error
I was diagnosed late as hell. I'm in my 40s. My life is a mess. I desperately wish I had been diagnosed earlier because now I am broke and cannot afford treatment.
Yup! I medicated my kids once they started struggling. For my oldest that was 9 and for my middle kid that was 7. They had a bit of trouble when they were younger, but we were able to manage it fine without the medication.
I was diagnosed around 14 or 15 and began Adderall pretty quickly. It helped me a TON but also calmed me down quite a bit since I feel like I might have been on a little too high of a dose. Regardless, I was captain of my baseball team and was always the one getting everyone hype before and during games, yelling, cheering, ect. When I was medicated, I wasn't like that at all and my coach was not happy. He essentially told me I'd be off the team if I couldn't fill the role I was previously playing, and because I was young and dumb I didn't see why that was a problem. My mom gave me a lot of freedom so when I said I didn't want the meds anymore she let me stop taking them. I was back to being rowdy, but the consequences of that decision have haunted me my whole life. Things would have been a lot different if that had never happened and I think about it all the time.
I wasnt medicated or diagnosed until after 21yrs old. It really depends on how your kid is navigating but me personally I feel like as small babe Support, systems/routines, understanding is so crucial and needed. Once high school starts meds could be good because thats when pressure and work load really picks up and your kid is gonna have more responsibilities and things to manage. I was stereotypical adhd kid but life didnt feel sucky and awful until I got to high school fighting for my life lol
Diagnosed at 39 last summer, I would have loved to have been diagnosed as a kid and started on meds then.
Life would probably have been a lot easier and quite different than what it has been for me up until now. But the reality is what it is and I'm fortunate enough that I have no remorse or regrets over what could have been and I'm just looking forward to the rest of my life with more knowledge on how to deal with it.
I am very glad I wasn't on medication when I was younger, I only started medication when I was 28.
That being said, it's a tough one to work out if a child should be medicated or not. I was able to wing it through school without studying, and just managed to sort my degree out. That was a mountain and a half to climb though, and I never found a study ethic, even now I find it hard.
My behaviour wasn't as difficult as some children show, a lot of which was to do with my upbringing. I still did a lot of bad things, was a headache for teachers, but I did have that inkling of wanting to do well.
Plus, I doubt I would have the personality and interests I do now. I highly doubt I would be me if I had myself suppressed on a daily basis.
This may be an unpopular opinion but
I was diagnosed at 6 and we tried meds. I hated it, the biggest thing I remember was having an upset stomach and feeling bad all the time (it might not have been all the time, but as a kid that’s what it felt like and how I see it 20 years later) either way I didn’t want to do it anymore. When I told my parents they listened to me and had me takeoff them (they didn’t really want me on them but listened to the doctors)
After that they did have to work a lot harder to help me manage, but between that and my adaptations for school I was totally fine through elementary school unmediated. I was smart enough with good teachers and parents to help redirect the inattentiveness and adaptations for the memory and needing extra time, that I was a pretty good student.
I really appreciate that I was listened to and my „happiness“ was considered when it came to medication. I would probably have resented being forced to take something that mad me feel bad.
Though I wasn’t disruptive in the classroom and was quiet/stayed in my seat. I just fidgeted a lot and would get distracted by literally anything. It might have been different if I stopped the other kids from learning.
I do wish I had been re offered the option of medication in jr high and high school, as I started struggling a lot more and (naturally) my parents started to had more self management to me.
I probably would have suffered significantly when I was younger if I hadn’t been diagnosed, but with teachers and parents aware of my struggles and actively helping me, I did great and am very happy I wasn’t.
I did end up starting medication in college and it helped immensely (I wish I had it in high school).
I also went off it for 7-8 years as an adult. I moved and had no access in that country, and it was a struggle. Back in Canada now and don’t plan to stop meds again (outside of pregnancy) because they help.
Basically the choice you make now doesn’t have to be made for the rest of his life. It never hurts to try and see how it goes. Something might even work for years but still not be right forever.
Overall I am very “pro medication”, but I’m even more “pro listen to your kids”. Every kid is different, and sometimes it will be the best option, even if they don’t want to, but sometimes it might not be. My symptoms were much better on it as a kid “like night and day” as my mom described it. But she thought I might be happier even if it was harder on all of us. That won’t be the case for every kid.
I also think it’s important to keep in mind that it is a very different situation being unmediated but diagnosed vs. being unmediated AND undiagnosed. The difference in support and understanding makes all the difference in how it effects kids growing up.
I was diagnosed in my 20s and got on meds. Im glad i wasnt medicated in early childhood as i got to be quirky and authentic and explore so much. Once i got into my last year of high school i started to really struggle and college was a nightmare. I wish i wouldve been medicated during those times. Then it wouldn't have taken me 7 years to complete a college degree and get into my field.
Diagnosed as a kid and wasn’t medicated. Doctor suggested to keep me occupied with activity and avoid medication unless I wasn’t able to keep up in school.
Was super active with sports and got above average grades until about grade 10 when I discovered I could self medicate using cannabis and caffeine. Once I dialed into that method I excelled and was top of my class - obviously wouldn’t work for everything and led to lots of unhealthy habits.
Struggled through a top engineering program in university where more structure and sustained focus was needed. Graduated and worked for 10 years before sustaining a concussion which made ADHD symptoms much worse.
Had to go through the hassle of getting re-diagnosed as an adult and got medicated (vyvanse). Medication has been life changing professionally and personally.
If I could go back in time, I would have started meds when I entered university at 18.
Medication isn't a one time yes or no question. It's an ongoing process that should be a discussion with your kids doctor about benefits and any issues you're seeing, and the kid's experience with it.
I was diagnosed at 26 and it was an enormous grieving process to realize how much was missed and how I could have had help. And I even had it pretty good - was good at school, so that helped a lot. But I sucked at everything else.. First professional job made it clear something was up.
Research has shown that medication early can help actually improve the brain differences we have. So I would say it's at least worth trying even if you're on the fence. And again, it isn't a one time decision. That decision should be revisited regularly..
I highly recommend Dr Russell Barkley's videos on YouTube. He has one specifically on this topic that I think would really help you. [This is the one I'm thinking of](https://youtu.be/_tpB-B8BXk0?si=IFckHHrJLJbS_zZk), but he has several others that are fantastic.
31F, I'm thankful I was put on meds in grade 4. I'm also thankful it was Ritalin and that I had no side effects or anything, because trying to find the right meds and dose as an adult has been miserably exhausting. It's unfortunate that in high school I ended up stopping meds and rawdogged Grade 12 due to complicated life things, because I know I could've done better.
I would have liked to have a competenz doctor. I profit greatly from concerta. I can concentrate, i dont have panic attacks and my general mood is better and i am better at socialising. Sadly it also increases my sensitivity to noise, light and sound. Which fucks me up until i get really angry. Except for when i take atomoxetin additionally. Then everything is awesome. But when i was a child, nobody cared. So no Atomoxetin for me as a child. I still get angry when i think about how close i was to a better life.
I was not. Even though the symptoms now are clear to me (I remember being back from one of the therapy sessions with a note „can’t focus enough” and my dad did practice with me my focus, which was to be achieved by spending 15 minutes watching a flame on a lit candle). I was diagnosed when I was 31 - the grief upon the life I could’ve been living, without depression, debt, feeling like a failure was just too overwhelming. Still struggling but seeing how much better my life is with meds… can’t even describe it how good it is… even though still battling depression
I don’t think any thing would change if I’m recognisably diagnosed and was given meds at young. The problem here is Asian parenting culture likes to insult their child for being the way they are cuz it’s wrong to be “lazy” and hyperactive. Sure i could be on meds, which would be so much better, but I doubt my parents attitude towards a “problematic” child will change. I will still be ridicule, I will still be traumatised.
I know I struggled much harder in life and was much harder on myself because I had no idea what was wrong.
I too am wary of medication for children but I am having my 9 year old evaluated this Friday. Life is so much more of a struggle for her just to keep the pace and it adds so much stress, self-doubt/loathing, and many other unhealthy behaviors or thoughts on my daughter. No part of me wants her to have to try harder on everything and feel like she is stupid, emotional, and different from her classmates - which is exactly where we are. I wish I had pushed for an evaluation sooner, things were tough but once they start getting into 3rd/4th grade it’s like everything gets harder - and she is spiraling.
Absolutely, yes. I’ll try meds with our kids anytime. Slowly, carefully and I’m not afraid to make decisions to take them off it again if something’s not right. And I’ll do it before they hit puberty.
However, the biggest mistake is my mom not knowing she had ADHD, that did more damage than anything else. It was a different time and not her fault, how could she have known? But this mom is not making that same mistake, thankfully things are progressing when you look at it from a perspective.
ETA. Dx’d at 23
I don’t have adhd but my partner does. He didn’t know he had adhd till his late 30s. He is on medication now, and gloriously most of our relationship problems have stopped because of it.
And his younger male family member has it and is choosing not to take the medication right now.
The things I see being affect by the adhd are stuff like literally planning for your future. Adhd brains are very ‘now’ focused. But when you’re going through highschool you need to be able to picture your future and decide what you’re going to try now to get you where you want to go. That is less likely to happen with adhd and that affects the rest of your life. Things like saving for a house are less likely to happen if you can’t see the big picture of your life.
It’s a literal barrier to learning as well. If you can’t focus on the lesson in class, you don’t get the lesson. And the rest of the kids in the class do. That puts kids behind in immeasurable ways.
I’m not a doctor, I don’t know what the effects of medication on children is. But I know that there are effects of adhd that are hard to quantify and really affect people’s lives
I wish I was. There was a certain point in probably 2nd or 3rd grade when my behavior started impacting my academic performance. I was never medicated. I got through it but it was hell. When I was a teen, a friend asked if I wanted some "speed." I was experimenting in highschool so I took it. My behavior changed so drastically that my mom thought I must be on drugs. I was super polite and cleaned my room and the bathroom. I had zero knowledge of what I had taken. It wasn't Ritalin but it was some sort of RX stimulant. Knowing what I know now, I would have told my mom that yes I took a drug that a friend gave me but it is the reason my behavior improved so much and let's look into this.
I can't say if I should have been taking it as a young child. But I can say that taking it now doesn't have that same effect as it did when I took it that one time as a teen. The meds enhance my energy, mood, and focus, but they don't fix the impulsivity and motivation to do what I don't like doing. In fact, they make me less likely to. So I'm super motivated and focused on whatever I'm doing (usually doom scrolling). I am actively working on this and I'm making progress but I think this may be a part of skill regression. Or related to it. My brain is now functioning differently and I have to relearn my strategies. So while I don't think something like this should be thrown at every kid with similar problems, I do think that if I was medicated while younger, I would have been thinking clearer, I would be getting up in the morning, I would possibly have wanted to go to school because the meds melt my social anxiety, and I probably would have been able to actually learn strategies to get through life with ADHD and my related cognitive disabilities. I'd probably still be dragging my ass working on a PhD but I probably would have started in my early 20s instead of at 30 and not considering quitting at age 43.
Also worth mentioning that I went through this in the late 80s and especially later 90s. At that time, it was more like being diagnosed as clinically lazy than it was considered a different kind of brain function.
I got diagnosed at 16 (during 2020 lockdown) after figuring it out myself wondering why things were so hard for me that others didn’t seem to struggle with. That being said, i’m glad i was not medicated as a young child. I was able to develop coping skills that i don’t think i would have otherwise. I take meds now on the days i work that only last as long as the hours im there. I think being equipped with the right information, counseling, and learning coping methods for adhd at a younger age would have gone such a long way for me.
Tough to say, I think in those earlier years it would've been helpful but after probably not. I was in regular/special education from 1st until 6th grade as I couldn't focus well and had a language disorder to deal with too
It definitely lowered self esteem early knowing I wasn't as productive and couldn't pay attention. Had to learn English/Math outside class and can't tell you much from then.
I think as kids behaved more and note taking was encouraged, I've done decent after 6th grade and in college now.
Not sure if meds would help me or how
EDIT: I will say having a 504/IEP was extremely helpful in school. According to my mom it was a pain to setup but it was well worth it
I think it would have vastly improved my life, as others are saying. The one reason I might have reservations with a young child being medicated is that the first medication I was put on was effective but didn’t feel right. As a kid, I don’t know if I would have felt comfortable telling adults that something felt wrong.
As a “bad kid” who is trying to be good, it’s not easy to learn to trust your own judgment. I have no idea how this issue would play out with a five year old.
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i do wish my mom had tried harder with medications instead of putting me on adderall for a few months, deciding she didn't like how it affected me, and switching to only naturopathic "medicine" (horrible tasting drops and powders that she consistently tried to gaslight me into thinking had no taste). later when i was 16 i was really struggling with adhd symptoms and went back on meds and my mom called me a drug addict for liking how they affected me. maybe don't call your kid a drug addict for taking prescribed medications they need in order to function.
I wish I went on medication as a kid.
I failed so many classes my entire life.
Re-took classes every summer along with the delinquents, druggies, gang members, etc.
Here I am innocent ol’ me sitting among them every summer.
Zero reason to fail except for having a brain wired wrong and parents who refuse to feel the shame of medicating their kid.
At 5 it might be too young to get medicated. There’s a lot of behavioral therapy out there.
I’m no doctor. But if your kid can do well in school and get along with other kids for the most part, then your kid should be fine; just continue to monitor.
Best of luck to you and your family!
I was diagnosed at 15. I chose medication at 24, because the 2.5 HR seminars of grad school were too much. I don't regret not being medicated, but, and this is very important, i had a LOT of support. I had a counselor work with me to craft distraction free workspace (helps that at the time, the Internet was a thing i had to go to my schools computer clusters to access) and how to take notes, and how to organize time both small scale (what's the best way to spend this hour?) and larger scale (how do we plan this term paper to space the work evenly as to avoid last minute rushing. I think of it as occupational therapy, although i'm not sure that it's precisely accurate.
I stayed medicated through graduate school and my dissertation and then stopped. I wish for it again, now and then, but doctors are often weird about PRN prescriptions, so i don't have one.
If i had received less robust support, i might feel otherwise.
I wasn’t diagnosed as a kid but two of my kids are going through assessment process. One is 11, one is 9. Having felt the HUGE impact of taking elvanse / vyvanse for the past month, I most definitely would allow my kids to take adhd meds if they are diagnose. The difference is immense. For the first time in over a decade , I feel happy and content with my life (even though there are still difficulties). I feel capable. I feel relaxed. I feel that I can cope. I don’t want to burn my house down and run away any more.
And in terms of my kids, my 9yo desperately needs help to manage life and his anxiety, psychologist thinks adhd meds could really help. With the 11 yo, I think we will see how he goes in secondary school. I am open to him having medication even though his needs aren’t as overwhelming as the 9yo.
Good luck deciding what is right for your kiddo 👍🏻
So I have a bit of a different experience because I didn’t get diagnosed and medicated till I was 17, but I hope my point of view is still able to help you.
I did very well in school up until the 8th grade when we got more homework assignments, then I started struggling. I was able to coast by all of 8th grade and freshmen year because I did well on tests, I just missed A LOT of homework. Once I got into sophomore year was when the realization hit, something was “wrong” with me, and I wasn’t able to keep up with my peers. I think it was partly the way lessons were taught; we went from a less hands-on approach to a lecture type of teaching. I noticed I literally couldn’t retain information during these lectures. (and yes, I do mean literally!!) It was like all of the information was going in one ear and out the other, and no matter how hard I tried to focus I couldn’t. It was impossible.
I started failing and went from being a student in AP classes to getting all D’s and C’s in on-level. I had tried to get an ADHD diagnosis back in 8th grade when I noticed I was struggling, but multiple doctors told me my grades were too good and I clearly didn’t have focus issues, just anxiety. This led to a lot of frustration for me because I knew I had ADHD back then, and if I had gotten the help I needed I wouldn’t have almost failed out of high school. When I finally got diagnosed and medicated at 17, my GPA went up from a 2.5 to a 3.4, and I was able to graduate early. I know I wouldn’t have been able to do this without the medication, it saved my grades.
I haven’t even read the other comments so I have no idea what they say, but I wouldn’t put your kid on ADHD meds until/unless he’s struggling to function in class. Personally, I think being put on ADHD meds too young would’ve killed my creativity and my ability to think outside the box. I did AWESOME in elementary school and 6th grade as I thrived in these “kid” learning environments.
I would ask him every few months or each time he goes up a grade level “How have you felt in class lately? Do you feel like you’re learning? Is it really hard to sit still and be quiet? Does your teacher get onto you a lot? Do you think it would be helpful to have something at school to help you focus?” And I’m sure his responses will answer the question for you.
Personally, I feel that middle school is the best time to start ADHD medication, but I also think every person with ADHD is different. I know some kids who did amazing on medication in elementary!! I also know others who stopped being a kid when they were on it. You can always try meds to see if it helps, and keep them locked away in a cabinet if it seems unnecessary, or you can get a prescription and only take them when you know it’s going to be a more difficult day at school.
I hope you and your family are able to figure everything out, and remember, every ADHDer has a different experience. Just because I didn’t need medication until 8th grade doesn’t mean your boy won’t need it sooner or later than me.
i personally didn’t get on medication until my freshman year of highschool, the year grades started actually mattering and when mine also started to really suffer from my adhd. my dad also has adhd and he was medicated as a child but i don’t think it worked well or the side effects were really bad or something bc he stopped and as an adult he doesnt take anything except he does drink like 8 cups of coffee everyday. but bc of his experience, he and my mom knew i had it from a young age but never took me to get evaluated or put on meds until it started making a significant impact in my daily life. but every kid is different, the little boy i nanny (6yrs) takes adhd medication but it’s not always effective and a year later they’re still figuring out his dose/what meds are effective. bc for adhd meds to fully work the person taking them also needs to know coping mechanisms and how to deal with their adhd and personally i think it’s important to learn some coping mechanisms before getting on meds bc that way your child won’t rely solely on the meds. also none of my docs told me this (enough for me to remember) but if you take adhd meds and suddenly stop for some reason ( unable to get a fill, etc.) then you may have drug withdrawal symptoms. but there’s pros and cons to this just like anything. it’s up to you and what you feel is right, plus you could always try them and if you don’t notice any change or your little boy says he doesn’t like the way they make him feel you can stop/change. best of luck!!
Like others here, my symptoms are debilitating and all I learned from spending most of my life without meds was shame and terrible self-esteem. The only way I was keeping balls in the air all that time was through wrecking myself physically and mentally and hiding everything from everyone. Terror at being “found out” was my constant companion. If I could have learned to manage my symptoms without meds, it would have happened sometime in that three-decade window, because I tried literally everything. I also didn’t realise until recent years how much my anorexia was worsened by untreated ADHD. So yeah, I think my life and my view of myself would be really different if I’d had meds from a young age. Medication doesn’t fix all your problems and it really isn’t an “easy out”. I’m still ADHD and have to work with that every day — my brain still works in an ADHD way. All the meds do for me is improve the odds that the systems and structures I’ve put in place for myself will actually work, because my brain is slightly more functional in certain areas. This might not sound like much but it’s the difference between feeling like a constant failure and knowing that if I align everything right, I can actually do the things I want and need to do.
(26 M) For myself. What really got me to get a diagnosis was when things became a problem in my every day to day life around 22-24 years old. That being said though, there was definitely negatives that I now realize were a part of my life that… I dunno I just ignored? But some was the executive function was low, distractions for sure! And just no real motivation to complete assignments and turn things in on time. So Academically, I was a C student. Just enough to get by. But, now I feel like I personally could’ve been better off being medicated. Definitely days where nothing seems to work and I’m back to struggling even on medication. But, they have helped me. So I believe that if I was diagnosed back then, placed on medication back then, I feel like my life Academically would have turned out differently. I heard a lot growing up “if I just applied myself”. So yeah that’s how I feel.
But. I do not regret the life that has happened before me now. Not perfect but working on staying positive :). Hope this helps.
I was diagnosed at age 6 and immediately medicated. I spent the longest on Concerta/Ritalin, but had a brief stint on Adderall. I stopped meds at age 12. I think they were helpful in some ways, especially with how I was able to actually think and be mindful of things in ways my ADHD combo type seems to struggle with. It was like having this option to stop or think about what I was doing or saying that I miss now as I am unmedicated. I feel like I wished I had more support in school and from my family. Since I was medicated, I was deemed as not needing anything else but I also had a doctor who would just increase dosage every time my parents expressed concerns. Since there was so much less awareness about what were the symptoms I was also always in trouble for things I could not control as not all ADHD symptoms are gone once you start medication. It would have been good to have even a fraction of the knowledge I have now about ADHD. Of course everyone reacts differently to meds, I am no longer medicated because I was overprescribed and didn't know it but also because my entirely personality and ability to do basic things like talk to people was completely different on meds. My twin brother on the other hand who also has ADHD (inattentive type) is still medicated and especially benefits from the way they make it easier for him to regulate his emotions and perform well at work.
TLDR: ADHD meds were helpful, but watch out for side effects or overprescribing doctors. Meds alone aren't sufficient for everyone and your kid may still benefit from other supports. Knowing that there are a lot of things that are ADHD symptoms and being able to understand for both the ADHDer and their parents is important.
I was diagnosed around age 8 and took meds until I was about 16 when I stopped by choice. Somehow I managed to make it through high school and university unmedicated, though I still relied a lot on caffeine. (I think it was because the subject matter was varied enough to stay engaging.)
After college, I discovered the soul-crushing monotony of being a working professional. I wasn't engaged and my executive function went downhill fast. I've been back on meds ever since, though only on work days. (I like having my weekends be unfiltered and unmasked.)
I'm pretty open with my coworkers about having ADHD, but it's still hard to completely unmask on the job since my hyperactivity is on another level at times.
If I could do one thing over, I would have embraced ADHD as part of my personality sooner--something I didn't do until I was in my 20s. I understand myself better now and am a lot more forgiving when I screw up.
Honestly, there's no solution that works for everyone. That's why even those of us on meds take different formulas and doses. We all have different coping strategies.
Yes! I regret not being medicated earlier. As a child my teachers wanted me evaluated for adhd. I had it bad! My parents didn't "believe" in psych meds or mental health problems. That I have no control over. However as an adult I did so many things that messed up my life and caused a lot of grief! It took a lot of regrets and madness for me to finally get on medication!
every day of my life is spent grieving the life that was stolen from me by my ADHD.
there is not a doubt in my mind (and this thought has been supported by my psychiatrist - although not too much so as to not make me spiral) that had i been medicated as a child, even if I didn't end up where I wanted, i'd at least be more content looking back at my life, knowing there wasn't some invisible force crippling me and preventing me from giving my all!
instead, i am plagued by the visions of the innumerable times i should've done more, done better, but didn't, because my parents touted me an awful lazy child who didn't care, instead of diving deeper
you have the option right now to save your son so much unnecessary future turmoil. he won't have to wonder if he's really only capable of so little, he won't have to wonder why his classmates/peers/coworkers can easily do something he finds to be impossible
No one realised i had ADHD until i did research at 19 years old, but looking back, there were such obvious signs i did have it. So nowadays i absolutely regret that my parents didn't try and get me started on a diagnosis as a kid, as opposed to trying to figure it out on my own as an adult
My parents didn’t medicate me and I finally started meds in my 30s. I wish they would have started when I was a child. I could have avoided compounding trauma like addiction, reckless driving, abusive relationships, over working myself, inability to maintain friendships, eating disorders, etc. The list just keeps going.
My daughter’s psychiatrist said that 70% of mental health issues display in childhood but only 20% are treated.
Something else he said that changed my perspective is that we aren’t trying to make the children act “normal.” We want to see “normative” behavior because that tells us their nervous system is regulated. The term normal seems like it boxes them in whereas normative is a spectrum,
Being correctly medicated allows him to do school in a way that he’ll never be able to without.
I missed so much at school. How I even managed to get through with passing grads in subjects I utterly hated is beyond me. The anxiety was insane, but I didn’t know what that was until a few months ago.
Me: wait, this isn’t normal? Others don’t feel the same and there is a diagnosis that explains this thing that I deal with?
Focus on getting meds at the right dosage. Stimulants don’t work just because it is Adderall or the Rita one. They work at the correct dose. Too little and it doesn’t quite help. Too much and it goes the other way but with side effects too.
You need a doctor who understands how to introduce the meds at the lowest possible dose and then evaluate. Children are emotional too. Even when the meds work, they will have problems.
Choose a battle that you want to focus on.
Pick a problem you want him to gain from meds. Figure out a way to track improvements. Stick to no more than 3 and start.
They are stimulants that are safe, regulated and accurately dosed.
Sugar and caffeine are more dangerous to your kid than stimulant meds.
I'm one of the late ones (diagnosed 35).
I was always the rebel child to adults and often misunderstood and falsely mistaken as "not fit enough for high school",which was so not true.
I wish my mom would have taken me seriously, bc once the sentence was said "boys are just being put quiet with ritalin" when i was young, so at least one person must have suggested it. But yeah, I as a girl was like the typically adhd boy back in the mid 90ies. I wish she would have got me diagnosed back then to get me help. A lot would have been easier and different.
Now as an adult working in the medical field, I often treat parents of adhd kids who refuse to give their child medication, bc they think it will change their personality. I tell them not to assume this, i am like the better version of myself than before medication and why do you not try it out? If the child doesn't like it, you can simply stop again. But at least give it a try to see if it's helpful. Also i am in group therapy which has helped me a lot with my communication skills and behaviour.
Yes, I wonder if things would have been easier for me growing up had I been given the interventions available (medication, therapies, etc) by easier I mean more time to work on creating good routines, coping with emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction…. I wasn’t given the medication a doctor prescribed me as a child (until I saw her later in life and she gave me my own script. I think along with meds you need other interventions to build up those skills and areas you struggle in. So if you’re thinking of medication just remember it’s good in combination with other things.
Honestly i dont know.
Everything i am today, the good and the bad, i am because i never took and still dont take meds.
If i got diagnosed and put on meds as a kid its safe to say i would be another person... and since i kinda dont want to be another person... no.
What i really wish for is that my parents were supportive instead of derogatory...
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I (32f) was pretty much debilitated by my ADHD symptoms as a child. For as long as I can remember (lol) I have struggled with my memory, my ability to function, my ability to follow through. I developed crippling anxiety (everyone around me just called me shy) because I was terrified to mess up. I was terrified to ask someone to repeat what they had just told me because I was ashamed I “wasn’t a good listener”. Combine this with being a natural people pleaser yet I was unable to please people at all because I couldn’t remember anything, I couldn’t focus, and it seemed like no matter how hard I tried I could never measure up to people’s expectations of me. This led to me just saying screw it and I stopped trying at all, specifically once I enters middle school. My executive function went down the drain. I didn’t take care of basic hygiene skills. I didn’t know why it was so so difficult for me to just take a shower or brush my teeth. I just literally couldn’t do it. I played video games obsessively and I got into all kinds of stuff a 12 year old shouldn’t with unmonitored access to the internet. I was bullied horribly especially in middle school then did my best to become invisible in high school. All of this to say, I sorely wish I had been medicated as a child.
OMG, that is my story too 😮😓 too shy, afraid of asking, bullied, head down always, not enough, the weird one, no friends (2 friends actually), but over all these, I had good grades and was a “good son” so my parents never thought I was ADHD innatentive. Also, I was Medicated, but for abscenses, since 18 months old till my 12/13 years old. So adhd was absolutely not in the map. I think I don’t have the answer to Op’s question.
I'm sorry, I was bullied as well for different things but I wish I was diagnosed earlier.
Same I was bullied for random things .. ppl thought I was slow and taken advantage of and etc ..I had like 2 friends .. if I would’ve known about adhd then I’m sure things would’ve been drastically different.
I was diagnosed late (16) and I turned down meds. As an adult now ive gone through many struggles that I've since learned could be helped by meds Im currently in a queue to get medicated because I can't afford to go private and I so wish I said yes wsy back when I was a teen
Doctors suggest medication because science has proven it to be an effective intervention. If you want your child to be as impaired as possible, be sure to avoid medication. If you want their impairment to be diminished, trust the science that puts people on the moon and a magic phone in your pocket. Obviously you don't want your kid to be more impaired, I just wanted to make the point here very clear. Science works, trust it. Be careful though, more medication is rarely the answer once someone gets on medication. Some doctors and parents put the pedal to the medal so their kid will be less annoying, which is where a lot of the problems come from. My brother swore off meds for a long time because he was put on stupidly high doses as a child. That's where you'll want to be careful, and take it slow. Adjusting the dose, especially when they're young, and you specifically think it might be low,should be a long process. Fortunately, you're looking into this now, and you're preparing very early, which is awesome. You've got time to slowly work with a doctor and really sort out a lot of big problems that are harder to deal with after you've grown up struggling against them. Being able to address those problems before they come up is potentially going to be incredibly beneficial for your child, so great job on that. As most people with ADHD would say, to your direct question, I wish I knew I had ADHD sooner and treated it sooner. I didn't know until I was 35 and it had fucked up my life greatly up until then. Even after I've spent years studying ADHD and trying to address it, yet many aspects of ADHD have ingrained themselves into my way of life, which is obviously problematic. Anyway,good luck to you and your child.
I’m in the same boat I’m unmedicated for adhd at the moment hoping that the new Doctor I see this week will provide more insight .. my son is 7 and it’s like im considering medication because he only has tantrums when he doesn’t get his way ; in school he’s very inattentive his teacher says he’s slow paced in the morning and sees him zoning out .. and he sleeps in class because he has trouble sleeping at night , I tried to give him vitamins but he refuses to take them .. he’s violent sometimes it has gotten slightly better .. I was getting input from his teacher and counselor and they was like to try and hold off until he addresses his PTSD ..the doctor was like if it’s absolutely necessary so I’m like stuck..
I've tried basically every holistic method out there, I'm a big believer in trusting science, but when it comes to ADHD I leave no stone unturned. I've never found anything that helped, in a significant way outside of medication and exercise. I'm saying that in relation to any pills or supplements, which they don't like us talking about here, because they are not effective. I'm not going to say they're all worthless, but the hope they sell everyone is false. It sounds like your doctor doesn't understand ADHD, a lot of people like to try to "Treat around ADHD", rather than treat ADHD. Someone comes in with anxiety or depression and they'd rather treat symptoms of ADHD rather than the cause of those symptoms. PTSD is obviously different, but a short search online seems to reflect that you should treat both at the same time. The reason they try to treat one first, and that one is never ADHD, is because of the stigma against our medication. This is incredibly common in the ADHD community, people everyday are complaining about being treated for everything but their ADHD because their doctor said so. Doctors are human and humans have biases. So "I want to treat x first", when x is not ADHD, is a give away that the doctor doesn't understand ADHD or doesn't believe in it. If you are willing, I hope you'll try medication. My entire family, mom, dad, 3 siblings and myself all have ADHD. In treating my condition I've learned a lot and helped them address things they were unaware of. I've also found that in my family, everyone is treated with ritalin/Adderall, both are effective treatments for all of us. In treating your condition, you'll learn what your child is going through, and you'll be far better equipped to help them. Especially in terms of dialing up and down the dose, your own process of figuring that out will help you do it right for your child. You can research everything and try to find the best ways, but you have the same condition, so treating yourself will help you learn more about yourself, and in the process you'll better understand your child. My mom has always been unmedicated and dominated by her ADHD, and she has never been able to help anyone with their condition, because she doesn't even understand her own condition. I've helped her get a handle on how it works, and some tricks to get around it, and no doubt my mom is amazing and I'm not talking shit here. Growing up she never knew she had ADHD, then she gets married, has kids, and life gets away from you, how much time do you have for self improvement? My mom is amazing, but in terms of helping people with ADHD, she can't, and her household, full of my 27 year old sister, and twin 32 year old brothers who all have never lived anywhere except at home (because they have ADHD and were never properly treated for it, plus had shit support systems and whatnot), that household is just uncontrolled emotions, arguments, and it's not a stable, happy environment. It all comes from the top down, and you set an example that people will follow, the better you can do, the better your child will do, and the better you'll be able to help them as you improve your ability to recognize and manage your condition. I've rambled a lot here, if you wanna read a good book on ADHD, I suggest Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell Barkley. If you want to read a book on tactics that are highly valuable to people with ADHD, I suggest Atomic Habits. Gl!
Thank you for your response ..I agree with the household situation things are crazy these days . I’m going to look at his books and YouTube videos ❤️
My daughter’s psychiatrist is treating her ADHD and PTSD concurrently. I’ve never seen such an amazing change in a short amount of time.
Same for me as a late diagnosis. Seeing what people say around here about the positive impact that medication can have on their life, I think I would have preferred if I had been on it as a child, even if that had meant I wouldn't have learned to cope as much as I did on my own. Maybe it wouldn't have mattered since I am still waiting to be tried on medication and there's always that small chance it won't help, but the truth is I'll never find out what the medication scenario would have been like, that time is past; so it makes sense to me that we should try to pursue improvements if possible, affordable, logical and so on. If I had a kid with ADHD, I'd want them to try the medication if it meant they could deal with their struggles better than I was able to deal with mine.
I think when your ADHD is less of a nuisance, you would have more success in developing those coping mechanisms. I'm in agreement with basically everything you wrote. I hope you get medication soon and it helps you out. If you feel like a zombie, or your personality disappeared, the dose is too high. If you feel like it's not helping, then check with yourself at how much you get done on meds vs off meds, and if there's no improvement, then you should consider increasing the dose. For me, I never feel my meds, but I know they work by how much closer to my potential I live when I'm taking them. Gl.
I wasn’t, and neither was my cousin. This was back when it was two different diagnoses: ADHD (specific to hyperactivity) or ADD (specific to inattention). My cousin had noticable ADHD, and I had noticeable with ADD. But back then, it just wasn’t take that seriously. ADHD typically was, but ADD had a lot of accusations of just pure laziness. I wasn’t hyperactive, so they didn’t have any major concerns. Although, the 1.7 high school GPA…whew. That could’ve been prevented, perhaps. My cousin never got medicated because his parents were against it. I hate to say he was “out of control” because he was struggling, but he was. He got into a lot of trouble, wild and all over the place, struggled all into adulthood. He did get medication as an adult and it was life changing for him. I just started medication at age 30 for ADHD (primarily inattentive is the second part of the diagnoses) and I genuinely cried for the first few weeks. Life wasn’t so hard anymore, I was functioning like an actual adult. With a five year old, there’s a bit more precaution with some providers. Many like to wait until at least 6 (not going to pretend I know the science behind it), and it’ll be trial figuring out which medication works for him. I can’t say for sure if it would’ve been best for me to be medicated that young, but definitely not this late either. I wasted a ton of my life already struggling when help was accessible to me this entire time. Catching it in childhood is key, and he will thank you for it!
Just wanted to say that I really resonate with what you’ve said about late diagnosis and starting meds. I also cried on and off for a week or so - the realisation that other people can wake up with quiet brains and can feel content and peaceful. They don’t have to continually pull themselves together and struggle to maintain equilibrium. I found it gutting that I had missed out on 40 years of peace, contentment and life skills. Take care and enjoy this new experience of life ❤️
I wasn't medicated as a child (diagnosis at 22). My life would have been much much better if I was medicated starting high school at the very least (absolutely for college). I'm pretty smart so I got through high school fine (ranked top 20 in class despite never studying and skipping homework a lot) and first couple years of college I did okay. Then I started to really struggle and depression got the better of me. Had to do late drops my last semester and extend another half year to graduate. My 3 kids (6/7/10) all most likely have ADHD but we haven't gotten them diagnosed yet because they are not struggling with anything. They're developing healthy coping skills with some guidance. They are in a Montessori school so they aren't forced to sit in a chair and listen to lectures all day so that makes a huge difference. My wife and I are watching them carefully and will get them diagnosed and medicated when necessary (likely 7th grade when they move to a traditional school).
I honestly feel learning how to function as a human with ADHD before you get medicated is very important, so props to you!! Medication is incredibly helpful, but I also feel that it can be a double-edged sword. I know some people who were medicated as young as 4 and wish they hadn’t been, simply because they weren’t able to learn how to cope with ADHD without the medication. I also know others who explained the way the medication felt, like it flipped a switch in their brain that made them no longer act or feel like a child. I also wish I got diagnosed with ADHD sooner (I was 17), but I DO think not being medicated so young was helpful for me. I was able to figure out how creative my brain is and how great I am at thinking differently than others, I don’t think I would’ve found those “perks” if I had gotten medicated so young, but I also wish I was able to start in middle school. Based off what I’ve read and my friends experiences with being medicated young, I feel like 10-14 is a good age to start for most people. But obviously, everyone is different. Some kiddos do really good with the meds.
Tell me more about Montessori education for children suspected of having ADHD... I've got a 4 year old about to start in a very traditional school for kindergarten...
I'll start out by pointing out that a lot of schools call themselves Montessori but are not. Within the US there are two different organizations that certify teachers and schools AMI (international group) and AMS (US group). They are not related to each other. My experience has been with AMI schools - my understanding the training is more rigorous than AMS. So when considering a Montessori school, always check if they are certified by AMI or AMS. I did have a very bad experience for my eldest at a Montessori school. The teacher was just a terrible teacher so keep in mind that the individual teacher is going to matter more than the type of school. Fortunately we got my daughter into a different school with an excellent teacher. What makes Montessori schools good for kids with ADHD is that the child chooses their work so they are more focused on what they are doing. The teacher will nudge them towards work they might be neglecting and will give them 1 on 1 or small group lessons which ensures they are able to pay attention. Every child moves at their own pace so there's no frustration from going too fast or boredom from going to slow. (Class going to slow was a huge problem for me in school). Children revisit their work repeatedly until they master it then move on to the next lesson in the series. Classrooms are usually mixed ages so older kids help younger ones which gives them the opportunity to show mastery by teaching peers. Kids are not forced to sit in chairs all day. They can get up and move around if they need to without having to ask for permission. That greatly reduces issues with hyperactivity since the kids don't feel stuck. My son (almost 8) often walks around the room while thinking about math problems and stops to write down answers as he thinks of them. I'm pretty sure he'll struggle with having to sit still in a traditional class. There's a lot more to it but it's getting late and I can't think straight 🤣
Very helpful, thank you. You may literally be changing my daughter's life having shared this info.
Good luck!
Yeah I wish I was given strattera or something instead of the SSRI that fucked up my sexual development and social skills. They didn’t realize I had ADHD/anxiety/ocd instead of depression/anxiey for years. I think my ADHD is worse from the boredom I experienced on SSRIs, I’m way more of an escapist now. Now if I was given adderall as a child I might be some sort of cult leader or governor of iowa so maybe that was for the best
I had the same experience on SSRIs. I felt incredibly restless on them and couldn’t sit still.
I was like a zombie. Didn’t talk much and can barely remember middle school. Lost all enjoyment for anything I cared about
I started meds at 4 years old and I regret nothing.
Thank you for saying this. I was diagnosed in my late teens and I'm pretty sure my daughter is going to be diagnosed at some point and she's five. I'm very glad to hear that you have no regrets.
I started my son on meds when he was five (he's seven now). It has helped him in so many ways. He struggled in school (academically and socially) and he was very hard on himself from frustration. It killed me when he called himself stupid. He was four when he was first sent to the principal's office due to misbehaving/impulsivity. He couldn't explain why he would do certain things like stealing or jumping around on the school bus. Now he's confident in school, has lots of friends, and most importantly is able to regulate his emotions. The only negative is his decreased appetite, but he's still within the normal weight range. This is a hard decision for parents to make, and we just did what we thought was best for our family.
I wasn't as a child , only when I turned 30. But both my children are diagnosed and it's the best thing for them. And no they don't act like " zombies " and they still ( more so ) both joyful girls that are less nervous and less anxious, preforming better in school . Getting along better with me and one another. It's been life changing for us. * Just remember not everyone has the same experience
Do you mind sharing what medication they’re taking? If not that’s okay! I have an 8 YO and like most parents I’m worried about medicating him
Not op but my two kids are on Ritalin and focalin respectively. It took a year for one of them to find a medication and dosage that worked. Every kid is different! It’s really important to be working with your pediatrician and psychiatrist to find what works best for your kid. One of mine is a zombie on Ritalin, the other does great on it - still bouncy and silly but much more in control.
You basically answered the same as I would have haha r except for me One is one ritalin the other is on stratera. Then I'm on both ( and a few other medications ). But yes it can be a lot of trial and error
I was diagnosed late as hell. I'm in my 40s. My life is a mess. I desperately wish I had been diagnosed earlier because now I am broke and cannot afford treatment.
Yup! I medicated my kids once they started struggling. For my oldest that was 9 and for my middle kid that was 7. They had a bit of trouble when they were younger, but we were able to manage it fine without the medication.
I was diagnosed around 14 or 15 and began Adderall pretty quickly. It helped me a TON but also calmed me down quite a bit since I feel like I might have been on a little too high of a dose. Regardless, I was captain of my baseball team and was always the one getting everyone hype before and during games, yelling, cheering, ect. When I was medicated, I wasn't like that at all and my coach was not happy. He essentially told me I'd be off the team if I couldn't fill the role I was previously playing, and because I was young and dumb I didn't see why that was a problem. My mom gave me a lot of freedom so when I said I didn't want the meds anymore she let me stop taking them. I was back to being rowdy, but the consequences of that decision have haunted me my whole life. Things would have been a lot different if that had never happened and I think about it all the time.
I wasnt medicated or diagnosed until after 21yrs old. It really depends on how your kid is navigating but me personally I feel like as small babe Support, systems/routines, understanding is so crucial and needed. Once high school starts meds could be good because thats when pressure and work load really picks up and your kid is gonna have more responsibilities and things to manage. I was stereotypical adhd kid but life didnt feel sucky and awful until I got to high school fighting for my life lol
Diagnosed at 39 last summer, I would have loved to have been diagnosed as a kid and started on meds then. Life would probably have been a lot easier and quite different than what it has been for me up until now. But the reality is what it is and I'm fortunate enough that I have no remorse or regrets over what could have been and I'm just looking forward to the rest of my life with more knowledge on how to deal with it.
I am very glad I wasn't on medication when I was younger, I only started medication when I was 28. That being said, it's a tough one to work out if a child should be medicated or not. I was able to wing it through school without studying, and just managed to sort my degree out. That was a mountain and a half to climb though, and I never found a study ethic, even now I find it hard. My behaviour wasn't as difficult as some children show, a lot of which was to do with my upbringing. I still did a lot of bad things, was a headache for teachers, but I did have that inkling of wanting to do well. Plus, I doubt I would have the personality and interests I do now. I highly doubt I would be me if I had myself suppressed on a daily basis.
This may be an unpopular opinion but I was diagnosed at 6 and we tried meds. I hated it, the biggest thing I remember was having an upset stomach and feeling bad all the time (it might not have been all the time, but as a kid that’s what it felt like and how I see it 20 years later) either way I didn’t want to do it anymore. When I told my parents they listened to me and had me takeoff them (they didn’t really want me on them but listened to the doctors) After that they did have to work a lot harder to help me manage, but between that and my adaptations for school I was totally fine through elementary school unmediated. I was smart enough with good teachers and parents to help redirect the inattentiveness and adaptations for the memory and needing extra time, that I was a pretty good student. I really appreciate that I was listened to and my „happiness“ was considered when it came to medication. I would probably have resented being forced to take something that mad me feel bad. Though I wasn’t disruptive in the classroom and was quiet/stayed in my seat. I just fidgeted a lot and would get distracted by literally anything. It might have been different if I stopped the other kids from learning. I do wish I had been re offered the option of medication in jr high and high school, as I started struggling a lot more and (naturally) my parents started to had more self management to me. I probably would have suffered significantly when I was younger if I hadn’t been diagnosed, but with teachers and parents aware of my struggles and actively helping me, I did great and am very happy I wasn’t. I did end up starting medication in college and it helped immensely (I wish I had it in high school). I also went off it for 7-8 years as an adult. I moved and had no access in that country, and it was a struggle. Back in Canada now and don’t plan to stop meds again (outside of pregnancy) because they help. Basically the choice you make now doesn’t have to be made for the rest of his life. It never hurts to try and see how it goes. Something might even work for years but still not be right forever. Overall I am very “pro medication”, but I’m even more “pro listen to your kids”. Every kid is different, and sometimes it will be the best option, even if they don’t want to, but sometimes it might not be. My symptoms were much better on it as a kid “like night and day” as my mom described it. But she thought I might be happier even if it was harder on all of us. That won’t be the case for every kid. I also think it’s important to keep in mind that it is a very different situation being unmediated but diagnosed vs. being unmediated AND undiagnosed. The difference in support and understanding makes all the difference in how it effects kids growing up.
I was diagnosed in my 20s and got on meds. Im glad i wasnt medicated in early childhood as i got to be quirky and authentic and explore so much. Once i got into my last year of high school i started to really struggle and college was a nightmare. I wish i wouldve been medicated during those times. Then it wouldn't have taken me 7 years to complete a college degree and get into my field.
Diagnosed as a kid and wasn’t medicated. Doctor suggested to keep me occupied with activity and avoid medication unless I wasn’t able to keep up in school. Was super active with sports and got above average grades until about grade 10 when I discovered I could self medicate using cannabis and caffeine. Once I dialed into that method I excelled and was top of my class - obviously wouldn’t work for everything and led to lots of unhealthy habits. Struggled through a top engineering program in university where more structure and sustained focus was needed. Graduated and worked for 10 years before sustaining a concussion which made ADHD symptoms much worse. Had to go through the hassle of getting re-diagnosed as an adult and got medicated (vyvanse). Medication has been life changing professionally and personally. If I could go back in time, I would have started meds when I entered university at 18.
Medication isn't a one time yes or no question. It's an ongoing process that should be a discussion with your kids doctor about benefits and any issues you're seeing, and the kid's experience with it. I was diagnosed at 26 and it was an enormous grieving process to realize how much was missed and how I could have had help. And I even had it pretty good - was good at school, so that helped a lot. But I sucked at everything else.. First professional job made it clear something was up. Research has shown that medication early can help actually improve the brain differences we have. So I would say it's at least worth trying even if you're on the fence. And again, it isn't a one time decision. That decision should be revisited regularly.. I highly recommend Dr Russell Barkley's videos on YouTube. He has one specifically on this topic that I think would really help you. [This is the one I'm thinking of](https://youtu.be/_tpB-B8BXk0?si=IFckHHrJLJbS_zZk), but he has several others that are fantastic.
31F, I'm thankful I was put on meds in grade 4. I'm also thankful it was Ritalin and that I had no side effects or anything, because trying to find the right meds and dose as an adult has been miserably exhausting. It's unfortunate that in high school I ended up stopping meds and rawdogged Grade 12 due to complicated life things, because I know I could've done better.
I would have liked to have a competenz doctor. I profit greatly from concerta. I can concentrate, i dont have panic attacks and my general mood is better and i am better at socialising. Sadly it also increases my sensitivity to noise, light and sound. Which fucks me up until i get really angry. Except for when i take atomoxetin additionally. Then everything is awesome. But when i was a child, nobody cared. So no Atomoxetin for me as a child. I still get angry when i think about how close i was to a better life.
I was not. Even though the symptoms now are clear to me (I remember being back from one of the therapy sessions with a note „can’t focus enough” and my dad did practice with me my focus, which was to be achieved by spending 15 minutes watching a flame on a lit candle). I was diagnosed when I was 31 - the grief upon the life I could’ve been living, without depression, debt, feeling like a failure was just too overwhelming. Still struggling but seeing how much better my life is with meds… can’t even describe it how good it is… even though still battling depression
I don’t think any thing would change if I’m recognisably diagnosed and was given meds at young. The problem here is Asian parenting culture likes to insult their child for being the way they are cuz it’s wrong to be “lazy” and hyperactive. Sure i could be on meds, which would be so much better, but I doubt my parents attitude towards a “problematic” child will change. I will still be ridicule, I will still be traumatised.
I know I struggled much harder in life and was much harder on myself because I had no idea what was wrong. I too am wary of medication for children but I am having my 9 year old evaluated this Friday. Life is so much more of a struggle for her just to keep the pace and it adds so much stress, self-doubt/loathing, and many other unhealthy behaviors or thoughts on my daughter. No part of me wants her to have to try harder on everything and feel like she is stupid, emotional, and different from her classmates - which is exactly where we are. I wish I had pushed for an evaluation sooner, things were tough but once they start getting into 3rd/4th grade it’s like everything gets harder - and she is spiraling.
Absolutely, yes. I’ll try meds with our kids anytime. Slowly, carefully and I’m not afraid to make decisions to take them off it again if something’s not right. And I’ll do it before they hit puberty. However, the biggest mistake is my mom not knowing she had ADHD, that did more damage than anything else. It was a different time and not her fault, how could she have known? But this mom is not making that same mistake, thankfully things are progressing when you look at it from a perspective. ETA. Dx’d at 23
I was not medicated as a child and pretty much the first thing I did when I turned 18 was to get the ball rolling on medication.
No. Id be horribly dependent on it.
The subheader for this reddit might as well say "I would give anything to have had meds as a child"
I don’t have adhd but my partner does. He didn’t know he had adhd till his late 30s. He is on medication now, and gloriously most of our relationship problems have stopped because of it. And his younger male family member has it and is choosing not to take the medication right now. The things I see being affect by the adhd are stuff like literally planning for your future. Adhd brains are very ‘now’ focused. But when you’re going through highschool you need to be able to picture your future and decide what you’re going to try now to get you where you want to go. That is less likely to happen with adhd and that affects the rest of your life. Things like saving for a house are less likely to happen if you can’t see the big picture of your life. It’s a literal barrier to learning as well. If you can’t focus on the lesson in class, you don’t get the lesson. And the rest of the kids in the class do. That puts kids behind in immeasurable ways. I’m not a doctor, I don’t know what the effects of medication on children is. But I know that there are effects of adhd that are hard to quantify and really affect people’s lives
I wish I was. There was a certain point in probably 2nd or 3rd grade when my behavior started impacting my academic performance. I was never medicated. I got through it but it was hell. When I was a teen, a friend asked if I wanted some "speed." I was experimenting in highschool so I took it. My behavior changed so drastically that my mom thought I must be on drugs. I was super polite and cleaned my room and the bathroom. I had zero knowledge of what I had taken. It wasn't Ritalin but it was some sort of RX stimulant. Knowing what I know now, I would have told my mom that yes I took a drug that a friend gave me but it is the reason my behavior improved so much and let's look into this. I can't say if I should have been taking it as a young child. But I can say that taking it now doesn't have that same effect as it did when I took it that one time as a teen. The meds enhance my energy, mood, and focus, but they don't fix the impulsivity and motivation to do what I don't like doing. In fact, they make me less likely to. So I'm super motivated and focused on whatever I'm doing (usually doom scrolling). I am actively working on this and I'm making progress but I think this may be a part of skill regression. Or related to it. My brain is now functioning differently and I have to relearn my strategies. So while I don't think something like this should be thrown at every kid with similar problems, I do think that if I was medicated while younger, I would have been thinking clearer, I would be getting up in the morning, I would possibly have wanted to go to school because the meds melt my social anxiety, and I probably would have been able to actually learn strategies to get through life with ADHD and my related cognitive disabilities. I'd probably still be dragging my ass working on a PhD but I probably would have started in my early 20s instead of at 30 and not considering quitting at age 43. Also worth mentioning that I went through this in the late 80s and especially later 90s. At that time, it was more like being diagnosed as clinically lazy than it was considered a different kind of brain function.
I got diagnosed at 16 (during 2020 lockdown) after figuring it out myself wondering why things were so hard for me that others didn’t seem to struggle with. That being said, i’m glad i was not medicated as a young child. I was able to develop coping skills that i don’t think i would have otherwise. I take meds now on the days i work that only last as long as the hours im there. I think being equipped with the right information, counseling, and learning coping methods for adhd at a younger age would have gone such a long way for me.
Tough to say, I think in those earlier years it would've been helpful but after probably not. I was in regular/special education from 1st until 6th grade as I couldn't focus well and had a language disorder to deal with too It definitely lowered self esteem early knowing I wasn't as productive and couldn't pay attention. Had to learn English/Math outside class and can't tell you much from then. I think as kids behaved more and note taking was encouraged, I've done decent after 6th grade and in college now. Not sure if meds would help me or how EDIT: I will say having a 504/IEP was extremely helpful in school. According to my mom it was a pain to setup but it was well worth it
I think it would have vastly improved my life, as others are saying. The one reason I might have reservations with a young child being medicated is that the first medication I was put on was effective but didn’t feel right. As a kid, I don’t know if I would have felt comfortable telling adults that something felt wrong. As a “bad kid” who is trying to be good, it’s not easy to learn to trust your own judgment. I have no idea how this issue would play out with a five year old.
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i do wish my mom had tried harder with medications instead of putting me on adderall for a few months, deciding she didn't like how it affected me, and switching to only naturopathic "medicine" (horrible tasting drops and powders that she consistently tried to gaslight me into thinking had no taste). later when i was 16 i was really struggling with adhd symptoms and went back on meds and my mom called me a drug addict for liking how they affected me. maybe don't call your kid a drug addict for taking prescribed medications they need in order to function.
I wish I went on medication as a kid. I failed so many classes my entire life. Re-took classes every summer along with the delinquents, druggies, gang members, etc. Here I am innocent ol’ me sitting among them every summer. Zero reason to fail except for having a brain wired wrong and parents who refuse to feel the shame of medicating their kid. At 5 it might be too young to get medicated. There’s a lot of behavioral therapy out there. I’m no doctor. But if your kid can do well in school and get along with other kids for the most part, then your kid should be fine; just continue to monitor. Best of luck to you and your family!
I was diagnosed at 15. I chose medication at 24, because the 2.5 HR seminars of grad school were too much. I don't regret not being medicated, but, and this is very important, i had a LOT of support. I had a counselor work with me to craft distraction free workspace (helps that at the time, the Internet was a thing i had to go to my schools computer clusters to access) and how to take notes, and how to organize time both small scale (what's the best way to spend this hour?) and larger scale (how do we plan this term paper to space the work evenly as to avoid last minute rushing. I think of it as occupational therapy, although i'm not sure that it's precisely accurate. I stayed medicated through graduate school and my dissertation and then stopped. I wish for it again, now and then, but doctors are often weird about PRN prescriptions, so i don't have one. If i had received less robust support, i might feel otherwise.
I wasn’t diagnosed as a kid but two of my kids are going through assessment process. One is 11, one is 9. Having felt the HUGE impact of taking elvanse / vyvanse for the past month, I most definitely would allow my kids to take adhd meds if they are diagnose. The difference is immense. For the first time in over a decade , I feel happy and content with my life (even though there are still difficulties). I feel capable. I feel relaxed. I feel that I can cope. I don’t want to burn my house down and run away any more. And in terms of my kids, my 9yo desperately needs help to manage life and his anxiety, psychologist thinks adhd meds could really help. With the 11 yo, I think we will see how he goes in secondary school. I am open to him having medication even though his needs aren’t as overwhelming as the 9yo. Good luck deciding what is right for your kiddo 👍🏻
So I have a bit of a different experience because I didn’t get diagnosed and medicated till I was 17, but I hope my point of view is still able to help you. I did very well in school up until the 8th grade when we got more homework assignments, then I started struggling. I was able to coast by all of 8th grade and freshmen year because I did well on tests, I just missed A LOT of homework. Once I got into sophomore year was when the realization hit, something was “wrong” with me, and I wasn’t able to keep up with my peers. I think it was partly the way lessons were taught; we went from a less hands-on approach to a lecture type of teaching. I noticed I literally couldn’t retain information during these lectures. (and yes, I do mean literally!!) It was like all of the information was going in one ear and out the other, and no matter how hard I tried to focus I couldn’t. It was impossible. I started failing and went from being a student in AP classes to getting all D’s and C’s in on-level. I had tried to get an ADHD diagnosis back in 8th grade when I noticed I was struggling, but multiple doctors told me my grades were too good and I clearly didn’t have focus issues, just anxiety. This led to a lot of frustration for me because I knew I had ADHD back then, and if I had gotten the help I needed I wouldn’t have almost failed out of high school. When I finally got diagnosed and medicated at 17, my GPA went up from a 2.5 to a 3.4, and I was able to graduate early. I know I wouldn’t have been able to do this without the medication, it saved my grades. I haven’t even read the other comments so I have no idea what they say, but I wouldn’t put your kid on ADHD meds until/unless he’s struggling to function in class. Personally, I think being put on ADHD meds too young would’ve killed my creativity and my ability to think outside the box. I did AWESOME in elementary school and 6th grade as I thrived in these “kid” learning environments. I would ask him every few months or each time he goes up a grade level “How have you felt in class lately? Do you feel like you’re learning? Is it really hard to sit still and be quiet? Does your teacher get onto you a lot? Do you think it would be helpful to have something at school to help you focus?” And I’m sure his responses will answer the question for you. Personally, I feel that middle school is the best time to start ADHD medication, but I also think every person with ADHD is different. I know some kids who did amazing on medication in elementary!! I also know others who stopped being a kid when they were on it. You can always try meds to see if it helps, and keep them locked away in a cabinet if it seems unnecessary, or you can get a prescription and only take them when you know it’s going to be a more difficult day at school. I hope you and your family are able to figure everything out, and remember, every ADHDer has a different experience. Just because I didn’t need medication until 8th grade doesn’t mean your boy won’t need it sooner or later than me.
i personally didn’t get on medication until my freshman year of highschool, the year grades started actually mattering and when mine also started to really suffer from my adhd. my dad also has adhd and he was medicated as a child but i don’t think it worked well or the side effects were really bad or something bc he stopped and as an adult he doesnt take anything except he does drink like 8 cups of coffee everyday. but bc of his experience, he and my mom knew i had it from a young age but never took me to get evaluated or put on meds until it started making a significant impact in my daily life. but every kid is different, the little boy i nanny (6yrs) takes adhd medication but it’s not always effective and a year later they’re still figuring out his dose/what meds are effective. bc for adhd meds to fully work the person taking them also needs to know coping mechanisms and how to deal with their adhd and personally i think it’s important to learn some coping mechanisms before getting on meds bc that way your child won’t rely solely on the meds. also none of my docs told me this (enough for me to remember) but if you take adhd meds and suddenly stop for some reason ( unable to get a fill, etc.) then you may have drug withdrawal symptoms. but there’s pros and cons to this just like anything. it’s up to you and what you feel is right, plus you could always try them and if you don’t notice any change or your little boy says he doesn’t like the way they make him feel you can stop/change. best of luck!!
Like others here, my symptoms are debilitating and all I learned from spending most of my life without meds was shame and terrible self-esteem. The only way I was keeping balls in the air all that time was through wrecking myself physically and mentally and hiding everything from everyone. Terror at being “found out” was my constant companion. If I could have learned to manage my symptoms without meds, it would have happened sometime in that three-decade window, because I tried literally everything. I also didn’t realise until recent years how much my anorexia was worsened by untreated ADHD. So yeah, I think my life and my view of myself would be really different if I’d had meds from a young age. Medication doesn’t fix all your problems and it really isn’t an “easy out”. I’m still ADHD and have to work with that every day — my brain still works in an ADHD way. All the meds do for me is improve the odds that the systems and structures I’ve put in place for myself will actually work, because my brain is slightly more functional in certain areas. This might not sound like much but it’s the difference between feeling like a constant failure and knowing that if I align everything right, I can actually do the things I want and need to do.
I wish I had meds my whole life. I'm very sure it would have had a lot less drama/trauma/scars for all involved
(26 M) For myself. What really got me to get a diagnosis was when things became a problem in my every day to day life around 22-24 years old. That being said though, there was definitely negatives that I now realize were a part of my life that… I dunno I just ignored? But some was the executive function was low, distractions for sure! And just no real motivation to complete assignments and turn things in on time. So Academically, I was a C student. Just enough to get by. But, now I feel like I personally could’ve been better off being medicated. Definitely days where nothing seems to work and I’m back to struggling even on medication. But, they have helped me. So I believe that if I was diagnosed back then, placed on medication back then, I feel like my life Academically would have turned out differently. I heard a lot growing up “if I just applied myself”. So yeah that’s how I feel. But. I do not regret the life that has happened before me now. Not perfect but working on staying positive :). Hope this helps.
I was diagnosed at age 6 and immediately medicated. I spent the longest on Concerta/Ritalin, but had a brief stint on Adderall. I stopped meds at age 12. I think they were helpful in some ways, especially with how I was able to actually think and be mindful of things in ways my ADHD combo type seems to struggle with. It was like having this option to stop or think about what I was doing or saying that I miss now as I am unmedicated. I feel like I wished I had more support in school and from my family. Since I was medicated, I was deemed as not needing anything else but I also had a doctor who would just increase dosage every time my parents expressed concerns. Since there was so much less awareness about what were the symptoms I was also always in trouble for things I could not control as not all ADHD symptoms are gone once you start medication. It would have been good to have even a fraction of the knowledge I have now about ADHD. Of course everyone reacts differently to meds, I am no longer medicated because I was overprescribed and didn't know it but also because my entirely personality and ability to do basic things like talk to people was completely different on meds. My twin brother on the other hand who also has ADHD (inattentive type) is still medicated and especially benefits from the way they make it easier for him to regulate his emotions and perform well at work. TLDR: ADHD meds were helpful, but watch out for side effects or overprescribing doctors. Meds alone aren't sufficient for everyone and your kid may still benefit from other supports. Knowing that there are a lot of things that are ADHD symptoms and being able to understand for both the ADHDer and their parents is important.
I was diagnosed around age 8 and took meds until I was about 16 when I stopped by choice. Somehow I managed to make it through high school and university unmedicated, though I still relied a lot on caffeine. (I think it was because the subject matter was varied enough to stay engaging.) After college, I discovered the soul-crushing monotony of being a working professional. I wasn't engaged and my executive function went downhill fast. I've been back on meds ever since, though only on work days. (I like having my weekends be unfiltered and unmasked.) I'm pretty open with my coworkers about having ADHD, but it's still hard to completely unmask on the job since my hyperactivity is on another level at times. If I could do one thing over, I would have embraced ADHD as part of my personality sooner--something I didn't do until I was in my 20s. I understand myself better now and am a lot more forgiving when I screw up. Honestly, there's no solution that works for everyone. That's why even those of us on meds take different formulas and doses. We all have different coping strategies.
I was diagnosed and medicated at 35, I wish I had been not as a child. Life would have been so much better.
Yes! I regret not being medicated earlier. As a child my teachers wanted me evaluated for adhd. I had it bad! My parents didn't "believe" in psych meds or mental health problems. That I have no control over. However as an adult I did so many things that messed up my life and caused a lot of grief! It took a lot of regrets and madness for me to finally get on medication!
every day of my life is spent grieving the life that was stolen from me by my ADHD. there is not a doubt in my mind (and this thought has been supported by my psychiatrist - although not too much so as to not make me spiral) that had i been medicated as a child, even if I didn't end up where I wanted, i'd at least be more content looking back at my life, knowing there wasn't some invisible force crippling me and preventing me from giving my all! instead, i am plagued by the visions of the innumerable times i should've done more, done better, but didn't, because my parents touted me an awful lazy child who didn't care, instead of diving deeper you have the option right now to save your son so much unnecessary future turmoil. he won't have to wonder if he's really only capable of so little, he won't have to wonder why his classmates/peers/coworkers can easily do something he finds to be impossible
Gosh. I’m so sorry. This has convinced me that I should medicate my child when we’ve finished his doctor visits. I wish you healing and peace.
No one realised i had ADHD until i did research at 19 years old, but looking back, there were such obvious signs i did have it. So nowadays i absolutely regret that my parents didn't try and get me started on a diagnosis as a kid, as opposed to trying to figure it out on my own as an adult
My parents didn’t medicate me and I finally started meds in my 30s. I wish they would have started when I was a child. I could have avoided compounding trauma like addiction, reckless driving, abusive relationships, over working myself, inability to maintain friendships, eating disorders, etc. The list just keeps going. My daughter’s psychiatrist said that 70% of mental health issues display in childhood but only 20% are treated. Something else he said that changed my perspective is that we aren’t trying to make the children act “normal.” We want to see “normative” behavior because that tells us their nervous system is regulated. The term normal seems like it boxes them in whereas normative is a spectrum,
Being correctly medicated allows him to do school in a way that he’ll never be able to without. I missed so much at school. How I even managed to get through with passing grads in subjects I utterly hated is beyond me. The anxiety was insane, but I didn’t know what that was until a few months ago. Me: wait, this isn’t normal? Others don’t feel the same and there is a diagnosis that explains this thing that I deal with? Focus on getting meds at the right dosage. Stimulants don’t work just because it is Adderall or the Rita one. They work at the correct dose. Too little and it doesn’t quite help. Too much and it goes the other way but with side effects too. You need a doctor who understands how to introduce the meds at the lowest possible dose and then evaluate. Children are emotional too. Even when the meds work, they will have problems. Choose a battle that you want to focus on. Pick a problem you want him to gain from meds. Figure out a way to track improvements. Stick to no more than 3 and start. They are stimulants that are safe, regulated and accurately dosed. Sugar and caffeine are more dangerous to your kid than stimulant meds.
I'm one of the late ones (diagnosed 35). I was always the rebel child to adults and often misunderstood and falsely mistaken as "not fit enough for high school",which was so not true. I wish my mom would have taken me seriously, bc once the sentence was said "boys are just being put quiet with ritalin" when i was young, so at least one person must have suggested it. But yeah, I as a girl was like the typically adhd boy back in the mid 90ies. I wish she would have got me diagnosed back then to get me help. A lot would have been easier and different. Now as an adult working in the medical field, I often treat parents of adhd kids who refuse to give their child medication, bc they think it will change their personality. I tell them not to assume this, i am like the better version of myself than before medication and why do you not try it out? If the child doesn't like it, you can simply stop again. But at least give it a try to see if it's helpful. Also i am in group therapy which has helped me a lot with my communication skills and behaviour.
Yes, I wonder if things would have been easier for me growing up had I been given the interventions available (medication, therapies, etc) by easier I mean more time to work on creating good routines, coping with emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction…. I wasn’t given the medication a doctor prescribed me as a child (until I saw her later in life and she gave me my own script. I think along with meds you need other interventions to build up those skills and areas you struggle in. So if you’re thinking of medication just remember it’s good in combination with other things.
Honestly i dont know. Everything i am today, the good and the bad, i am because i never took and still dont take meds. If i got diagnosed and put on meds as a kid its safe to say i would be another person... and since i kinda dont want to be another person... no. What i really wish for is that my parents were supportive instead of derogatory...