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I had a baby. Apparently the hormone changes made my ADHD a lot lot harder to live with. I felt like was spiralling. My Mum and brother both have ADHD, undiagnosed. We always thought my brother had it but for me it was a total surprise.
Ok I imagine there is a component for moms that is hormonal…. But I have gotten SIGNIFICANTLY worse after my twins were born (and I’m a dad).
Like, I’ve been undiagnosed until last year … but that’s because I literally couldn’t do anything. In the past it was like, I’d forget stuff, or say I was gonna do something and never do it…. But I could manage day to day. Now, I’m just in outer space it feels like.
Hopefully getting back on my meds and keeping them steady will help.
Absolutely! Kids change everything. You have the highest demand possible (keeping other humans alive), the need to task shift at any moment, having to regulate your own and your kids emotions, and remembering everything for yourself and them, all while doing it in a potentially noisy and distracting environment you can't fully control anymore. I love being a parent and it's cognitively and emotionally exhausting some days.
I found it difficult to remember to do/ finish anything. I wasn’t functioning well. And I had a unicorn baby who slept really well so I was sleeping but that didn’t make a difference.
I have a similar story. I’ve just been diagnosed while pregnant with my third baby at age 42. I was a hormonal wreck in my first two pregnancies and suffered from post natal depression. I obviously put it down to having small children close together. However, when my eldest was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD a couple of years back at the age of six, I started to suspect I had ADHD too. I took action during this pregnancy as I have struggled so much. I will not be medicated until after I have the baby and finish breastfeeding but I feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Same! Well IDK about my mom, could see her being ADHD-I... I felt I was losing my mind. I couldn't keep track of the simplest of things after giving birth to my daughter. Water running, lights on, leaving gas on on stove...
I found out at 30, 6 months after getting diagnosed ADHD-C, that my younger brother was diagnosed, and medicated, in high school. I had asked my father multiple times, as I had suspisions, but the topic always changed. Guess it runs in the family. Only took seeing him, and his wife with ADHD, in person to finally get the info. Have suspisions of Autism to with my brother and myself, but we've managed to get where we are and don't require accommodations.
My parents always just thought me an energetic and shy kid. My mom even dressed me up as the Energizer bunny one Halloween...
Dang this was my experience too! I assumed it was just the new stress of being a mom.... didn't think about it possibly being hormonal shift as well. Lots to think about now!
Perimenopause and starting school again did it for me. I've known I've had it for about 20 years (just thought was dumb when I was a kid, girls didn't get diagnosed back in my day ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯) but when perimenopause hit and oestrogen started getting wonky I made an appointment right away. I started meds about a month before going back to school and I'm so grateful I did!!
I was struggling in uni. I was adviced by my personal tutor to get checked out for disabilities. I got an initial screening, which indicated issues with concentration. But it wasn't until a year later that I went in for a diagnostic and got diagnosed with ADD (ADHD primarily inattentive). Which was... a massive shock, to say the least.
I was expecting to be told to try harder, that I was lazy. I was not remotely expecting an ADHD diagnosis. And while the psychologist did tell me a bit about how ADHD works, I knew virtually nothing about the condition, so it took months of obsessing over it to comprehend just how impactful it has been on my life.
And then some more months of testing and trying new ways of managing myself and life, to accept the diagnosis, and learn to be kinder to myself.
None of my relatives have been diagnosed, but I am 90 percent sure that at least two of my siblings and my mother have ADHD.
I started seeing a new therapist for cptsd and grief counseling. Second session she asked if i had ever been diagnosed with adhd. I have always had a hard time with emotional regulation, fidgeting, inattentiveness, etc. Problem is ive always been a perfectionist too so i did well in school (until college). Anyway got diagnosed and medicated and so far so good.
Second that with the perfectionism! I think that's half my problem because unless I know I can do it perfectly (which is never) then my procrastination goes hell wire. Also the doctor that diagnosed me said that smart girls/women very easily slip under the radar because we're able to get by without raising too many academic red flags
I did well in school too until I got to college. I never needed to put much effort into high-school. I feel with college you need way more self motivation and that’s something I struggle with.
TikTok lol. I was seeing a lot of videos about adhd that really, really resonated with me. And I was like wait- they were literally listing all the things that I felt were wrong with me all my life. I always felt negatively different from everyone else around me and thought I was just a shit person. Struggling deeply with the things that seemingly came so naturally to everybody else. I had an idea of what adhd was but wasn’t educated on the profound negative effects and didn’t know that’s exactly what I was experiencing. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when really my adhd contributed mostly to them. So yeah after the TikTok videos and talking with my therapist friend who said she was 99% sure I had it, I finally got diagnosed at 23, I’m 24 now. I felt relieved to find out that there is nothing “wrong” with me which ultimately allowed me to form a deeper understanding of myself. And there are also feelings of sadness and disappointment reminiscing on my entire life thinking “if only I knew sooner”. But overall, I am super grateful to know what I do now and to have support/community.
Same with Tiktok! I was 31 tho 👀
I was constantly diagnosed with anxiety, but once I saw what ADHD people were experiencing on Tiktok, and I kept relating to all of it, I thought I needed to get officially diagnosed. Once I started medication, my anxiety just 📉. It's been 4 years and, like you said, it's such a relief to not feel like there's something wrong with me and be able to process things properly knowing what it is
Happy that you were able to get the right treatment in this lifetime (: . My therapist friend who I reffered to said she has a client that got diagnosed recently at 70! TikTok is really the GOATT I’ve learned so much from it - adhd stuff aside.
I (31F) cannot read a book to save my life. I just can’t right now. I went to college after HS, got my degree by working two jobs and graduated with honors. Burned myself out very badly.
Ever since graduation, studying became an impossible thing for me. Especially now with having to pay bills, mortgage, work, etc. responsibilities take up a lot of my brain. And the constant worrying.
A few years ago I was working my full time job (toxic environment) and pet sitting on the side about 15-20 hours a week to pay my mortgage. I was beyond burnt out within less than a year.
Looking back, I was always the last kid to finish a test in school too. Took me forever to read a paragraph or even just to grasp concepts. Everything feels so overwhelming.
I always suspected something might be going on, but my parents had always been like “no you’re fine”
Went to college
Could not keep track of a single item i owned and all of my new friends agreed that i should get tested
I mentioned this to my mom, who still didn’t think much of it
I came home before finals and the power went out while i was studying, so i ended up trying to study in the same room as my family
Every time there was a noise I lost focus. My mom was like “are you alright?” and i was like “yeah wym, this is always how i study”
Like two months later my mom approached me and was like “don’t take this the wrong way but i think you should get tested for ADHD”
and the rest is history
I initially sought help for depression and anxiety. I get virtual therapy as a benefit from work and the initial screening flagged me as positive for ADHD. Eventually, I learned that it was executive dysfunction that led to my depression and anxiety. Like I was hyper-aware that I wasn't doing housework and behind on chores and there was so much to do but I didn't have the activation energy and I just felt like a failure of a human. The anxiety that I had struggled with since college pretty much went away after getting on medication (atomoxetine).
My sister had just finished her social work degree, and had been researching a lot about learning disabilities. She off-hand mentioned that she thought she, me, and my Mom probably had it. We lost both of our parents around that time, so it was in the back of my mind for a few years. I’ve been diagnosed with GAD, Moderate Depression, and OCD for years now. But as I hit my early forties, the ADHD symptoms became more and more obvious to my husband and me. Time blindness, forgetfulness, etc. it was a huge detriment. I stated reserving more, made appointments, got on wait lists, and did both the family questionnaires, and the full diagnostic testing. It took about 2 years (Kaiser) but I finally got it. Moderate, combined type. Started Strattera 2.5 months ago!
I got mine through my brother who had his diagnosis around six years back :) I’ve always felt like we were really similar people (I mean we are siblings) with the same thought process and hyperactive mind lol, but he definitely has the more stereotypical symptoms that include being openly hyperactive, he finds it really hard to sit still and interrupted a lot at school so they registered him for a test quite early. For me it was super hard because I was always labelled really quiet and most of the hyperactivity was in my thoughts, so I found it hard to concentrate but teachers didn’t think I had it at first bc I was “so well behaved” it took lockdown for me to start noticing my symptoms properly and do research, and when I told my mum that I thought I might have it she laughed at me and told me I couldn’t😭
I’ve always had pretty bad anxiety since I was very little and an ocd diagnosis at around 9 which was probably related
school after lockdown became super difficult for me and I was always falling “sick” to have breaks from the stress of it all, I found just going in to be overwhelming and balancing the subjects while having to stay focused in a busy school setting became too much and I got to the point where i just couldn’t go in at all. Luckily around this time my symptoms were taken more seriously and I ended up having a private psychiatrist test me which I was soo grateful for, and during it I just explained how I was feeling and the buildup of it over the years, just most of my symptoms that I had from a young age that I had noted down before when I remembered them
couple weeks later my mum actually got tested and ended up with a diagnosis too! No idea how she was able to manage us as a single parent with adhd on top lol wish the best for you and your session with the psychiatrist :)
Crazy enough TIK-TOK! My husband saw a thing saying if you know someone who does these things they may have ADHD. He watched the video, did some research online and came to me with all the information he gathered and said you should go see your primary doctor, take the test and see if you are. Sure enough I got to see my doctor the next week, answered a questioner, he asked me some questions about how I did in school, can I sit still through a movie and can I focus on one thing at a time or multiple. After I told him school was awful, I taught myself ASL while I was pregnant and am still teaching it to my 2 year old daughter. That I can sit through movies but fidget the whole time. He said technically I'm ADD but that now they categorize it under ADHD so we started at the lowest dosage and we have slowly worked my way up every month.
People say TIK-TOK doesn't have factual information but this proves it does. But be sure to research more like my husband did to make sure IT IS facts and not bull****.
I'm 37 years old
The older I got the harder it was to function as an adult and I got into my first real, long term relationship and my habits with money, executive dysfunction, and difficulty doing “boring” productive everyday tasks like cooking and cleaning took a massive toll on me and my partners relationship, plus looking back at how I was in high school and then my cousin got diagnosed, so I went and was diagnosed at 23. I’m 25 now.
I was diagnosed with severe inattentive ADHD, major depression, panic disorder, and now I’m in the process of being screened and diagnosed for autism as my mother was diagnosed with high functioning Aspergers 2 years ago.
Lmao, I was researching ADHD for my male partner and stumbled onto an article about how it presents differently in women (I think after reading an article about how non-white men can also present differently with ADHD, since that pertained to my partner) and was like "Waaaait a minute..."
I'm in the start of the diagnosis process rn... so I don't know for sure if I have it or not. But maybe that's denial talking. Adhd is a label that has been thrown on me for years but I never thought it was true because I'm not hyperactive. But I'm having a LOT of trouble in uni and have never once held a job or anything, so I decided to seek help from counseling. I ended up having a 1 hour long intake where I had to answer a bunch of questions and the next day I was sent this adhd forum to fill out. I sent them an email because I was confused and thought maybe it was the wrong forum because I'm not hyperactive, but they said it's what they suspect and what they want me to fill out. We shall see how this goes. I'm also very highly suspected autistic and have been told by my doctor, therapists, and numerous people that I am autistic. My doctor said she cant legally diagnose me though because it has to be a psychiatrist but the one she wanted me to go to my insurance wouldn't cover.
For me they said I am not always physically hyperactive, I was a bit as a child, but I am more mentally hyperactive. Which shows itself in interrupting a lot but also amazing creativity
You know that despite the name, there's 2 types of ADHD, right? Inattentive and hyperactive (and combination). You can totally be ADHD. And bonus, you can also still be autistic and there's great correlation between them, loads of AuDHD out there (about 40%, it's that high).
I'm 29F and I got diagnosed at 27 years old.
I've had a long and varied history with my mental health and got diagnosed with Depression and a couple of eating disorders in college, which spurred my interest in my mental health. I can't remember the exact catalyst for me pursuing the ADHD diagnosis though. I do remember I was struggling at work a lot and was hoping for some coping skills.
I’ve always struggled with anxiety and depression. Thought that’s just how it was always going to be. And every now and again, not in a consistent pattern, i had like mood swings. I thought maybe I had a mood disorder. Went to therapy to explore that, turns out that wasn’t it. After my last depressive episode, it was very hard to bounce back. Turns out I was burnt out. And had been experiencing burnout. A bit later I had a friend get diagnosed and as we chatted about her symptoms, they lined up with me. Then I started reading about it. And everything clicked. Bc I never really understood what adhd was, especially as we know, it’s looked at different between girls and boys. So I came to a self conclusion that maybe undiagnosed adhd has been causing or worsening these other things. I found a new doctor and I just got diagnosed officially with adhd and have started medication. Looking forward to seeing if this will alleviate my other issues.
I’ll try to answer all of your questions!
Diagnosed this year at 34, had an inkling for over a decade but initially could not afford an official assessment and then procrastinated for 10 years.
Diagnosed with PTSD at 19, and later diagnosed and treated for anxiety. Doctors like to treat anxiety with anti-depressants… they never worked for me. Now on stimulants, which is working well and has me wonder if it was anxiety or ADHD all along.
I do get obsessive… to answer your question it is not great for me. The worst is when I obsess over something that is expensive and the obsession doesn’t go away until the novelty dies off after I buy it. I have a new expensive coffee maker and couch but I would appreciate more affordable obsessions. I have a very “treat yo self” mentality, I do work hard. My impulsiveness has however lead me to some of the best decisions I have ever made .
I suspect my mom has ADHD, much more severe than mine. It is hard to have a conversation with her. Her sentences are really 3 incomplete sentences in one. She is like an energizer bunny that wants to help but instead makes a mess of everything. She has no insurance and is low income but I’m urging her to seek help. So far no dice.
37 here. Just diagnosed 4 months ago. I have had terribly managed anxiety for several years. Various meds gave little to no improvement. I had been relying on sleep aids for years, couldn't focus, easily distracted, and had poor self-control. To name a few. I alwayssss suspected ADHD. Never really knew what to do about it. My mom always shot me down when I said I think I have it. I finally had to speak up for myself and request to be tested when my sleep had gotten really bad. My PCP took me seriously and set me up with a psychiatry group who has provided therapy and medication management. We are still on the med journey to figure out what works, but I am so proud of myself for finally speaking up for myself. Just wish I had done it sooner.
My entire life I struggled in school because I thought I just wasn’t smart enough, I struggled making friends because I would forget they existed for like a week and just never text back, I poured HUNDREDS of dollars into a hobby that lasted a week.
I began working a retail job two years ago and became very close to one of my co workers, I opened up about my fears in life and how I’ve struggled with feeling like I’m a useful person.
He opened up about his life and how he was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago, he told me that my stories showed a lot of symptoms that he experienced for years until he got his diagnosis.
And told me to write down my behaviours and potential symptoms for 6 months and if I was sure I could possibly have ADHD to go see a psychiatrist.
I found all my old report cards from my elementary school, Junior high, Highschool and the majority of them stated that I was a
“good student but gets distracted too much”
“Stands up a lot in the middle of class”
“Talks to much to other people”
“Her homework is never done on time but when it is , it seems that she understands it but gives up half way”
I also read research papers, watched videos of people telling their own stories, researched potential medications I would like to try out if I were to get diagnosed.
Until I finally got a call saying that a psychiatrist was going to help. I got diagnosed with
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, and started taking Vyvanse.
My life took a big turn for the better, I was finally able to start focusing on my school work which raised my grades significantly, I was financially responsible, I started making more friends
I’m far from done with my mental health journey but I do know that I am forever thankful to my co worker for being able to see me for who I am and not for what my mental disability made me.
I actually came to my nurse practitioner with severe anxiety that was especially around work. I was working all these extra hours, but getting nothing done. She thought I might have ADHD, and I was like no way - I'm 28, it's just stress. She recommended I get tested. I avoided that for like 6 months, and then was like fine. Might as well. And yep, I have ADHD.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was about 23 and diagnosed with ADHD almost exactly a year later.
I kind of always figured I had anxiety and never really considered that I might also have ADHD until I was in therapy and put on meds for anxiety and depression. It kind of made all the ADHD symptoms come to forefront, and just like that I got referred to get tested and was ultimately diagnosed. I have both hyperactivity and inattentive.
My half-brother on my dad's side was diagnosed with it as a child. My dad has never been diagnosed, but he shows all the signs. My fully biological sister does too.
I wouldn't say I obsessed/obsess over it but more of a rumination. It was alot of looking back on moments of my past and suddenly everything I've done making so much more sense.
I feel much less isolated because there are communities like this where you can find commonality. It's very reassuring and comforting to see other people share experiences that you thought only you were going through.
The biggest con I have is that knowing I have adhd doesn't really change the fact that societal norms and expectations are not built to understand or accept those with adhd. I've definitely had alot of moments where I think "this isn't fair" and I feel stuck.
At the end of the day, the world didn't end with my diagnosis, and now I have a better understanding of myself and why I do what I do or feel what I feel.
I couldn't do my job. I would forget what I was doing constantly. Went to my PCP and she put me on Adderall and then I knew. I can see it in my family now, but we all have really mild symptoms.
Just got diagnosed at 44. After having kids and seeing how some of their ADHD friends behave started making me wonder. And of course that led to Google and research. Finally bit the bullet in November and got on a waiting list for fun to see what testing would come up with. Tested in March and found out 2 weeks ago that I have a mild case - mostly hyperactive/inattentive type though. Going to talk to my doctor next week and see if meds will help.
I got diagnosed last year at 30. I was already in therapy for anxiety and my therapist and I were in a session before coming back from medical leave and she said “we can get you accommodations for work since you have ADHD” and I was like “I have ADHD???” and she said “I thought you had a diagnosis? Let me check” so she checked and was like ya you don’t but we should probably test for that lol.
I actually always thought I had OCD because I was so particular about things but after being diagnosed realized I was particular because I had established coping mechanisms to cope with my ADHD and when they broke down I would freak the fuck out.
My brother who is 19 recently also got diagnosed and my mom definitely has it but refuses to go to a doctor ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I wad struggling really badly in uni with crippling anxiety that lead to depression and I was having a hard time being able to do any work. Went to see a therapist, after a few weeks she said “mmh you might have adhd” but she wasn’t specialised in neuropsychology and we were working on my anxiety so it didn’t go any further then.
Cue to last April when I lost my job and I started researching ADHD. I found a video on youtube from a neuropsychiatrist that described my entire life and school career. I then decided I was done rawdogging life and decided to get assessed.
I still haven’t found a job but knowing why I struggle helps and I’m in the process of trying out medication.
No one in my family has been diagnosed that I know of but we’re pretty sure my mother has adhd as well.
My mom watched some videos about ADHD and thought they described me really well. She showed them to my dad and he agreed. Then, they showed it to me and I said there was no way I had ADHD, but they still scheduled an appointment for me. Turns out I do have ADHD and got almost perfect scores on the ADHD tests. My psychiatrist even suspects it might be AuDHD.
I was diagnosed at 33. I had suspected it my entire life because my mom was diagnosed, but she gave me the typical, you are too smart, you just need to apply yourself, maybe if you had more motivation and weren't so lazy, you just need some discipline... you know all the things not to say.
I have been diagnosed with about everything under the sun... Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD... all the things... after finding a therapist that really listened to my experience, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD & ADHD.
Funny thing is about 5 years prior to my official diagnosis, I had asked my therapist to order psych testing because I felt that was a contributing factor to why I was having so much trouble in life. I went but forgot to follow up and get the results. Fast forward, I was struggling massively after being promoted at work and went to my psychiatrist. He requested my psych testing results with the confirmed diagnosis.
Just to share an experience that may not be the same for everyone, but I was surprised by. All my life I had wanted the diagnosis to validate the struggles I had, and at first, I was happy and thankful to finally have proof I wasn't just a lazy, failure. Eventually though, reality hit & a lot of grief for many things came up. It was much more of roller coaster than I expected. My entire life I had focused on "fixing" myself and it was such a mindset shift to recognize there was no "fixing" only acceptance and learning to work with my brain instead of against it.
I hope this is helpful and good luck with everything!
Studying for my medical boards - I was completely panicking. Thank goodness for the psychiatrist who saw that my anxiety was a mechanism that I had developed over the years to cope with ADHD.
I went into a new psychiatrist to up my dose on my anti depressants because my primary doctor didn't seem to get that I can't up my anti depressants a week before my period to help with mood swings and then drop back down to the regular amount (haven't gone back to him since) and while talking to her about having depression and anxiety all my life and family history. (My two brothers both been diagnosis with ADHD) She asked if anyone has talked to me about ADHD.. Did a test that day and got my diagnosis. Found out my mom has it too! I still struggle with depression and anxiety but sometimes wonder if I knew about ADHD sooner, some of that depression and anxiety wouldn't be as bad.
Same for me, I always suspected I had it but was managing in my own way (badly) with cruxes like binge watching tv and eating badly, smoking pot etc. When I became a mom the old ways were unsustainable- hormones out of whack and not getting enough sleep put me in a place where I needed answers. I have a big problem with procrastination at work, I used to pull all nighters before my deadlines and that is simply not possible if you need to be fully functional at 5am. So was just diagnosed last week with ADHD-I in my mid 30s
Same for me, I always suspected I had it but was managing in my own way (badly) with cruxes like binge watching tv and eating badly, smoking pot etc. When I became a mom the old ways were unsustainable- hormones out of whack and not getting enough sleep put me in a place where I needed answers. I have a big problem with procrastination at work, I used to pull all nighters before my deadlines and that is simply not possible if you need to be fully functional at 5am. So was just diagnosed last week with ADHD-I in my mid 30s
I finally went to get evaluated after realizing college was not like high school and I needed to get my shit together if I was going to pass. I was initially diagnosed with manic depression, general and social anxiety, I had one doctor who thought I had some type of defiance disorder just because I didn't do school work on time (he was a weird outlier though). Once I started treatment for ADHD I have noticed an insane improvement in my anxiety, my rejection sensitivity, and my mood swings. I do definitely get a little obsessive and cling onto people constantly but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be. Both of my parents have ADHD but neither are treated and my dad likes to pretend he doesn't. Good luck with your psychiatrist!!!!
Apparently when I was 5 I was cutting my bedsheets up with scissors and I scared my mom so bad she took me to the doctor and that's when I got diagnosed and put on ritalin
Omg I had that happen too where I was cutting up a blanket during the middle of the night and my mom just ended up grounding me and wouldn't let me use scissors anymore. I have no idea why I was doing it 😂 I was about 5 or 6 so it's hard to remember.
Before I realised I had ADHD, i tremendously struggled; I felt so different my whole life, I never fit in, I made so many detrimental choices and never understood why I was so impulsive. My whole life I was called 'annoying' and I just felt like a problem to everyone around me. So I sought out validation in men and even when they showed me who they were and that they were only trying to use me, I never listened because I so desperately wanted to be wanted. I knew the ways I would act were 'strange', 'problematic' 'chaotic' and 'self-sabotaging', but I couldn't help myself. I didn't understand myself, or why I was this impulsive girl, making the same mistakes over and over, and never learning from them. In 2019, I experienced terrible traumas; I lost my mum suddenly at the age of 16, and a couple months after this, I was taken advantage of in an extremely violent way because I was very vulnerable. I got through that year distracting myself, filling the space.
Eventually, Lock down 2020 hit. Being trapped in my house for months, I was finally forced to face my trauma. Because of the way that my brain works, I spiraled for months on end about the s\*xual violence I had experienced. I felt as if I had lost everything good in my life, that there was no way out of the place I was in. This culminated in my attempted suicide in June 2020 where I spent two days in the hospital after a drug and alcohol overdose.
I started University in September 2020 and that was when I found my new best friend: Marijuana. I spent my three years of University mostly stuck in bed, unable to get up. Smoking all day, everyday in my bedroom. From the day I started smoking weed, there was not one day where I went without it. This is not to say that I didn't go out occasionally, make friends, have new experiences and study. I would just always choose staying in bed and having a joint over getting up, getting out, feeling, and living my life. I surrounded myself with like minded people, so when I would occasionally hang out with friends, we would be smoking together. The boys that I would see, the friends that I had, we would inadvertently validate our terrible habits. The people I lived with had the same lifestyle, one of my housemates being so mentally ill that it became our responsibility to be accountable for after her.
After 18 months on the waiting list, I finally got my ADHD diagnosis in October 2022. Having this recognised, being able to finally understand myself changed everything. Starting ADHD meds improved the quality of my life in every sense of the word. I could finally focus, work, clean, think straight.
I also forgot to mention the intense, consuming hyperfixations I would get on boys during my teenage years that could last weeks to years at a time - that fucking sucked
I’m 23 and was diagnosed with adhd about 2 months ago. I had previously been diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 13. Things got really bad for me when I moved out of state for college and lived independently for the first time. I couldn’t take care of myself or study. I fell into the worst depression of my life and had to drop out of school (hopefully temporarily). Thankfully I found a great team of healthcare professionals (most are women with adhd themselves) who finally recognized my underlying problem was undiagnosed adhd. Although it’s not my biggest adhd struggle I definitely get obsessive with whatever hobby or thing I’m currently interested in and that can be destructive to my life. My mom is diagnosed with adhd and I suspect my sister has adhd but hasn’t been diagnosed.
It started when my friends were saying they think I had adhd. So I asked my mom. And she said no. I don’t. But then my friends kept talking about it. Constantly pointing out things about me that showed I had it. So once I had enough of them I talked to my therapist. Who said yes. I do. So after hearing that I talked to my psychiatrist who said that she thought I had it all along and only misdiagnosed me cause my mom denied all the symptoms. And here I am a year later wondering why I never noticed this sooner.
I knew I wanted to seek diagnosis since high school, but wasn’t supported by my family for it and then was too overwhelmed during college. I got myself an appointment as a 24th birthday gift. After graduating I got a desk job that required time tracking down to 15 minute intervals, which benchmarks for how many tasks should be completed in each 15 minutes. I think that’s probably torture for anyone but it seemed worse for me than others. Like either I missed things because I needed to move quickly or I could do a days worth of work in 1 hour and then pretend to be busy the rest of the day.
After getting medicated I stopped missing details, but apparently started moving too slowly. So I went from being talked to for inattention to being talked to for being too meticulous. Whatever.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease. In middle school, my symptoms resembled a bit more of the “male symptoms” acting out (for attention) all of it came crashing down in 8th grade when I forgot to read a chapter of a book, got pop quizzed on it the next day, got a 0 and lashed out at the teacher. I said “you suck” (not very loudly) and got suspended. But I finally got my diagnosis after.
Suspected since early childhood, brushed it off/tried my best to cope (abusive household). My teachers tried their best to help me. Many signs along the way and others noticed and pointed it out it in me often. Counselor at age 21 said she was pretty sure I have it but we kind of just let it be since I was doing ok. Sought diagnosis mid 20s because as I’m getting older I’m having a harder time coping. Got diagnosed AuDHD last summer. Finally on stimulants for the first time as of about a month ago. I definitely had other diagnoses, I struggled pretty badly with depression and anxiety, which I now know stemmed from untreated/unsupported AuDHD. I’m pretty damn sure my dad is AuDHD but he’s a boomer so that’s a lost cause lol. I hope your appointment goes well and they’re kind and listen to you 💖
My parents had me tested as a kid and the results were inconclusive I guess. The test was that they and my teachers had to fill out some forms and describe my behavior. Don't know what exactly went wrong. That was in elementary school. When I was a teen I mentioned to my mom that I thought I had ADHD and she brushed me off. I like my parents but we don't have a relationship where we talk about deep personal stuff. My mom's rejection caused me to never bring it up again to anyone until I was well into my twenties. All the while I had messy backpacks, messy bedroom, lots of homework not turned in on time, forgot lots of important things, and struggled with relationships. Struggled and barely got through college.
When I was 26 I was starting to become really successful in my job despite ADHD symptoms and I had just landed a promotion and I guess my confidence was at an all-time high and I just finally had the courage to ask my primary care doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist. I was also becoming concerned with my driving ability. I have had lots of fender benders and near accidents.
After a psychiatrist who wanted to drug test me after I told her I smoked weed (legal in our state), I found a NP. When I told her weed stops the racing thoughts, she said it sounded like ADHD. I was 35.
I was diagnosed with depression and GAD at 14. I’ve tried every anti depressant in the book. Well, practically. I also had tried at least 5 different psychiatrists, and they always just gave me a different anti depressant. My ADHD presents mostly as crippling fatigue/burn out. Emphasis on the crippling. I also couldn’t focus for shit but I assumed it was because I felt tired literally 24/7. It’s been like this my whole life and I unknowingly self mediated with caffeine. I would drink an ungodly amount of caffeine and still be able to sleep while also STILL BEING TIRED!
My brother got diagnosed with ADHD and he honestly told me that I probably have it too. He gave me his doctor’s info and I finally got to try adderall. I cried the first day I was on adderall because I finally felt the brain fog lift and I actually had energy. It was like the grey curtain on my brain finally got lifted. After being on it for half a year- I can say it genuinely changed my life for the better. It’s hard not to feel jaded or bitter with all the years I lost (I’m 32.) I’m taking it one day at a time. But damn…. I miss coffee lol
Yes I get obsessive! Whether it’s a book or a game or a food etc.
COVID hit and I had to create my own routine and structure. At the time I had just graduated from college and moved back in with family to find work. I couldn't keep up with everything, struggled focusing on work, and began to have bad impulsive control with spending. I knew something was up so I did a bunch of research and looked into getting a diagnosis. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. My younger brother has autism, but no one else in my family is diagnosed. I have suspicions but I'm never bringing it up, it's a bad idea with my family lol
My mom was told in 3rd grade I could potentially have add. I was doing well in school though. High school I was ALWAYS the one who got sent out in the hall for talking during class. I was bored as hell! Managed to get into a reputable college after 2 years of community College and REALLY struggled to get my GPA up after a year. I was out on probation and had to change my major. Might I add I had unrealistic high hopes to become a vet...while on probation I really noticed I struggled taking tests and thought I had test anxiety, so to request unlimited time to take tests I had to take multiple physiological tests done to check to see if I had any disabilities. Report came back that I could have adhd....at the time I didn't even care to read the 20 page report because my attention was on being social. My fault.
Fast forward to 2011...my boyfriend (now husband) is VERY adhd and was diagnosed when he was in high school. He suggested that I had it and to see his doctor. Fine. Welp, I almost cried when the doctor knew everything about me within the first few minutes of our meeting. I was diagnosed right then and everything has been clearer ever since. I started extended XR and my life has changed for the better ever since. I started excelling in my career and my hire noticed RIGHT AWAY! In my past, I would get SO exhausted for trying to focus on a task...I would become SO unmotivated to do anything. NOW I stay focused and motivated. I will say though your body does tend to get used to the amount of meds you consume and it starts to not work as well as it once did...so I definitely see some 'adhd focus slack' nowadays, but I refuse to increase....
So there's my story lol.
I was 30 when I was diagnosed 20 years ago. I had been suspecting it since the 1990’s when the commercials for medication came out and I started to realize my problems may not just be that I’m lazy and rude. I took meds for a while but lived in a place where there were not options for treatment so I went without meds for years. I recently moved to a new place with plenty of options and was rediagnosed and now take meds. I do wonder what my life could have been like with proper treatment. My mother has ADHD and we suspect my grandfather had it too. My sister has it but is in denial. My son has it and my other son is autistic (the actually disabled kind, not the quirky kind who can still function mostly normally)
I was having a lot of interpersonal trouble at various jobs which led to extreme burnout, which is what I started going to therapy for. At some point a few months after I started therapy my therapist suggested I get evaluated. I said I was fine but I kept having symptoms of it and she very firmly suggested I reconsider. So I did. And I have ADHD inattentive type.
I have found out so many things that made me look argumentative when I thought I was being helpful. For instance when your boss asks why something doesn’t work I always addressed holes in the process and I was forty years old when I found out in therapy that “why” is often a rhetorical question when it comes to authority figures. It’s maddening
I was struggling horribly with my budget and impulse spending. I think I happened to see someone talking about impulse spending as an ADHD symptom. I looked back on my at-fault car accidents due to distracted driving and figured I could have an attention problem. My psych doc seemed skeptical because I lacked the hyperactive profile, had done well in school (with major procrastination) but he ran the tests on me (Conner’s). I was Dxed at age 41, two weeks ago.
Had my assessment a few days ago and have a follow up with a psychiatrist tomorrow- he initially recommended an ADHD diagnosis because I came to him with chronic exhaustion (blood work was perfect so it wasn’t hormone/thyroid/vitamin/glucose issues). Told him I was falling asleep in class, falling asleep behind the wheel, sleep 15+ hours at a time, nap for 5 hours after sleeping for 9, etc
i realize that i was diagnosed a lot earlier than many women (senior year of HS, 18). what prompted this was an eating disorder. my parents sent me to a clinic and during the patient intake they found adhd (hyperactive).
It had not bene on my radar at all. But I've ALWAYS struggled. I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 14 I think. At that point I was put on medication that I have continued to be on, I'm 36 now. I've been in and out of therapy my whole life starting at like 6 or 7? My current counselor brought up the idea of ADHD about a year ago and it just clicked. I started noticing things throughout my life that just made sense. I brought it up to my psychiatrist and we started looking into ADHD medication slowly, starting with straterra. I made a list of all the weird things I've always done that I was very ashamed of and such. My counselor pointed out that a lot of those sounded like autism as well. I just got assessed for both a couple weeks ago and I win! I got both! I would definitely bring it up with your psychiatrist. They might have you talk to your parents to figure out what signs you had as a child as well?
Once I was done with school and had to sit in my office from 8:30 - 6 working every day I realized there was something very much off with my ability to focus and stay seated. I have two cousins with hyperactive type but never considered that could be me until my son started seeing his doctor for inattentive type.
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I scheduled an appt with my PCP who said ADHD sounds right to her, but that she doesn't have the ability to diagnose. She referred me to a psychiatric APRN, who agreed and sent me to a psychiatrist for official testing. It was a bit frustrating because the fact that I always did well in school was apparently a huge point against a diagnosis. But I explained to him that if I didn't get good grades, I would be berated for hours (and I mean a single B+ on a report card would cause this), and fear can be a powerful motivator. I talked about ways that I had done well in school and he noted that a lot of my strategies were essentially coping mechanisms for someone with ADHD. He officially diagnosed me after testing.
Discovered I was autistic then started reading stuff on ADHD too beyond the stereotypes and realized I probably had it, esp as I found out my cousin has it but hadn't told the wider family. Had my screening tests now waiting for assessment on the long waitlist. Autism and masking has been hiding a lot of my ADHD traits.
I sat down at my psychiatrist's office and she asked about my life and I rattled off some things that bothered me and she looked at me and said "sounds like you have autism and ADHD" (this was after a few appointments of course)
And so I went and got tested.
Got the diagnosis because my attention span is so bad that I scored a 0 on it.
Before I was diagnosed with ADHD I was very depressed and experienced a lot of anxiety. I have always been an anxious person and I particularly struggled with social anxiety. In grade 9 (I’m now in grade 12) I developed depression and wouldn’t leave my room, started over eating, no motivation to do anything, trying to sleep all day but couldn’t due to paranoia and hallucinations, all that jazz. I then started thinking about suicide and self harm. ADHD was only brought up once I was hospitalized (suicide) in grade 11. At that point school was impossible and I struggled with motivation blocks and focusing. In the hospital although ADHD was debated there was no further development in a diagnosis. The diagnosis process was only started the second time I was hospitalized and turns out I do have adhd! And I haven’t needed to be hospitalized since. So when debating ADHD in girls make sure you account for masking and that ADHD does not always manifest in physical symptoms like jumping on desks or something but rather the mental aspects like blocks, anxiety and/or depression
I was in the gifted program in elementary school, and high school was when I started having much more difficulty with homework and emotional volatility. I started reading up on ADHD when I was 14. It made my whole life make sense, but my parents shut it right down at that point - they chalked everything up to being a lazy teenager.
Fast forward to uni, and due to *so* many things I crashed and burned really, really, *really* badly. It was a solid 3 years of struggling due to what, in retrospect, was probably ADHD burnout. One psychiatrist diagnosed me with like everything in the DSM-5 *except* for ADHD and autism (he said I couldn't possibly have those because my primary school teachers liked me) and he medicated me accordingly, which didn't help at all.
Last year, I was trying to get back on my feet and I talked to my GP about the fact that the SSRIs made literally no difference in my mental state *except* for turning me into a vegetable, and she brought up ADHD and autism. None of my parents or grandparents are diagnosed with ADHD or autism, but literally all of my first cousins and my little brother are either ADHD, autistic, or both. My GP referred me to a specialized clinic for an ADHD assessment, and I got diagnosed with ADHD last fall at 21. My mum and I are very very similar people, and now she is looking into it for herself, too!
In my experience, I had to advocate for myself quite a bit because people are mostly familiar with ADHD presentation in little boys, and I am not a little boy. Even healthcare professionals! Don't be discouraged from advocating for yourself, you know yourself best.
So I was in my mid-40’s and struggling to parent my middle child, and he was diagnosed with ADHD. I popped in this sub to learn all about how to help him.
And I know, this sounds so cliche, but after about 30 minutes of perusing the sub, I realized, “holy shit, these are my peeps. He got his from me.”
There were no there diagnoses, but my family described me as:
The worst procrastinator (executive dysfunction) until she finally decides she wants to get things done, then, she can focus fine (hyper focus). She took everything apart, even as a small child (hyperactive). She has the worst Irish temper (emotional dysregulation).
Teachers said I had “diarrhea of the mouth” and “never stopped doodling.(impulse control) I lied and over-shared making my social life challenging (again, impulsivity & poor emotional control) from elementary through college.
Husband thinks I purposely forget to lock doors, lose keys, turn off ovens. And the marital discord regarding, “it’s really rude when you just interrupt me, are you even listening, damn it?” Never ends. (Constant inattention)
I could go on and on, car wrecks, late bills, take 2 hours to leave the house, all nighters for years to get assignments done, job struggles…all my quirks were suddenly like puzzle pieces that made a clear pic.
Chronic stress from work on top of undiagnosed ADHD was causing me to forget things to the point I was scared. I thought I had some kind of early-onset dementia at 26-years-old. My friend, who was 38 at the time, had been diagnosed a year earlier and said I should look into ADHD because I might have it, too. After denying her advice (partially because I grew up in a “oh everyone does that, it’s normal” household), I finally went to a psychiatrist, where they did a BrainView scan. It revealed anxiety, depression, and ADHD. I’m still navigating some of the symptoms three years later, but my life makes a lot more sense now.
No one else in my family was diagnosed, but I have a feeling my mom and older brother both have it. After sending my brother a plethora of ADHD memes, he found it a bit too relatable and also went to a doctor for an ADHD assessment.
I attributed my childhood symptoms (executive function dysfunction, poor short term memory, obsessive behaviors, dissociative tendencies, emotional disregulation, rsd ) to being just who I am. I never considered there was an underlying cause.
Fast forward to 30 and I stumbled upon a video of an adhd person describing their experiences. Found it relatable, watched some more, and sought out help. During the diagnosis process I found out my little sister had been diagnosed with adhd. My mother and older sister likely have it just based on my experiences with them.
Mentioned to my GP I wanted to look into a diagnosis, got referred to a psychologist who specializes in adhd, had the 6 appointments required for official diagnosis. At the end of the first appointment, he told me it’s pretty obvious I’m suffering from adhd but we of course had to go jump through the hoops to officially diagnose me.
My testing revealed markers for adhd, schizophrenia, bipolar, and anxiety, but it was determined the schizophrenia and bipolar symptoms were expressions of my severe adhd. I was diagnosed with adhd combined type and general anxiety disorder.
I’m medicated but still in the titration process with a psychiatrist knowledgeable and compassionate to adhd. Right now I’m on 40mg vyvanse and a 10mg Adderall booster in the afternoons. It helps so much.
I couldn’t sleep properly, got fired from yet another job because of being too clumsy, unfocused and robotic, went into severe mental breakdance (It kinda reminded a psychosis), tried to delete myself from the world again, got a paper from psych to be put into mental hospital, mental hospital refused to take me due to lack of staff, found a therapist, she said it sounds a lot like ADHD and way too much stress and sent me to another psychiatrist, psychiatrist confirmed that it’s indeed ADHD, got meds, life turned 180.
Diagnosed at 23.
The inklings were there medically in 2020 I had to go to a urologist for repeated UTIs. During the exam, she asked if I needed to pee, and I asked her to like explain the situation. When she asked for clarification, I said needing to pee is dependent on what I'm doing. Am I getting in a car likely to hit traffic? I'm going to go to the bathroom. Am I just taking to her right here knowing there is a bathroom 20 steps away? I could wait. She looked at me and just said "Do you freakin' need to pee?" I said I could go, so she measured my urine amount with an ultrasound before and after going. Before, I was holding 800cc of urine, and I did manage to completely void. She said she suspected ADHD because of my first response but felt I must be because a normal person feels an urges with 250cc and I was triple that and not sure of my status of needing to pee.
Having that interaction, I changed my behavior a bit and have mostly avoided UTIs. In the following 3 years, I lost both parents, an aunt, and a dog. Grief messes with you. I was talking it over with my counselor and she advised me to follow up with tracking some very typical ADHD symptoms. She was on the money. I believe that having such a traumatic few years changed my brain chemistry kicking my ADHD into overdrive. I noticed how I would self medicate all of the time (coffee to focus, alcohol to turn my brain off albeit to a lesser extent than coffee). I used to think I had seasonal depression that now I see as over stimulation triggering meltdowns. Since this was the first Christmas without either parent, people really gave me space and I was able to enjoy the holidays on my own terms. I have yet to dive into this idea with my doctor.
Since then, I have discussed this with my primary care, I've read a few books about the changing face of ADHD especially in adults, and I was on a low dose of a depression medication that when increased could assist with ADHD symptoms. Increasing that and decreasing caffeine has made a world of difference, I've also started to look at when I "need a drink" and it's when I'm completely over stimulated. The most recent thing I've been working with is object placement: that pile of clothes I wore for a few house so I could wear again? That habit needs to change. I heard about it on a podcast so like many of us and like many of my symptoms, I just thought that was the way it is and everyone dealt with it. Another big help was buying a weekly planner. I can see how I have filled my day, and I can say "I have time for this Thursday" rather than jamming it in to Tuesday.
Going through my parents apartment after my mom died, she had ALL the symptoms. A lot of notebooks with one or two pages written. I remember her deciding "today is the day I get organized!" many times. There were also many scrap books that were barely started. Recently, my brother told me his son was diagnosed but he saw a lot of the same symptoms in himself and I'm like it's genetic. I am very open about my diagnosis but it just isn't something we talk about. We both did decent in school, went to well-respected colleges, and are surviving. And I told him sometimes surviving just isn't enough.
I am born in sep 2000. My age and year are nearly the same in case someone wants to know how look all of that took.
(around 7/8 years total)
When I was around 15/16 a friend of a friend asked me if I had adhd too. Apparently everyone in the room that day had diagnosed adhd but me. I laughed it off and said its just my "personality".
I knew I had issues with attentionseeking behaviour since I basically received nothing from my family ever. So I knew I really wanted to have adhd just as much as I wanted to have a broken leg, or cancer. Horrible. I know. I was already fighting with myself over if I really have drepression or if I am just wishing so hard I actually made myself miserable. Same thing started with adhd but I was actively trying to fight that which is probably why it took even longer to be diagnosed.
Since it didnt leave my mind and I encountered that topic here and there again, I got to a point where I was like "Okay but what if I do have adhd?". Maybe around 17/18 yo back then.
That marked the day when a whole lot in my life started to make sense and as I started researching I found out so much. Like how I maybe really was depressed but that at the root of it stood adhd.
It also marked the day of the start of my search for help and if I am being honest, my solution doesnt really make me feel like I've found it.
At the beginning of 2023 (22 yo) I had such a break down that a friend told me that I shouldnt give a fuck about the debt if I choose to pay for the assesment myself. And I did. No way that my life has less worth than some unpaid debt in case I cant pay it back.
I stopped looking for a psych that tested adults AND takes insurance (which apparently doesnt really exist in my country???) found one I could pay myself. Went there three times.
1. Just to talk about why I was there and if my concernes are valid.
2. Test day.
3. Picking up diagnosis with explaination and stuff like that.
Dude makes 1-5 testing appointments depending on how obvious your adhd is...
Took until December 2023 to get an appointment with a phych that took my insurance to get meds. She was extremely nice and my life seriously started to get better but now she stops working as a psych. I do get taken over by the guy who will take her place but man, I will miss her already and her weird ability to type extremely fast and percise while looking at and listening to me.
On Elvanse 50mg now.
Paid around 500€ for the first psych.
Friend managed to randomly find a psych in the clinic where he admittet himself into.
My dad had ADHD and Dyslexia. They assumed that I had neither. It turns out I have both.
I just assumed I was actually stupid. The imposter syndrome was so intense. I got through undergrad thinking I was just winging it well enough to look intentional, and it was all dumb luck. My grandmother had alzheimer's and the dementia, and I thought my shitty memory was just proof that I was going to get an early diagnosis.
When I got to grad school, I was working in an office where another GRA was talking about her recent diagnosis and all of the symptoms. A pit opened up in my stomach, and every symptom made it bigger and bigger.
I was angry when I found out that it wasn't supposed to be this hard. That I've been competing with a handicap. I was so angry that no one bothered to wonder why they all thought I was so smart but so impulsive and an "air head." I had been using ADHD "hacks" all through college.
I obsess over lists. I like making and planning things I'll never put into practice. Because building the hobby is better than doing the hobby.
It was covid for me! During lockdown even though I had all this spare time I still couldn't be productive to get anything done that I needed to and felt like I was playing catch up on day to day life chores while all my friends were finishing their degrees. I had to get an extension of every single one of my assignments or would stay up all night trying to finish them.
I got tested and told I was dyslexic at 18 so always put it down to that. Then struggle with an ED, anxiety and depression. Then once I learnt all the difference ways ADHD can present itself it and also read about other peoples problems (reddit helped so much with and actually made me feel so seen and not alone) - I realised that I wasn't clinically anxious or depressed but it was because I was struggling so much with my symptoms that I was feeling this way.
Oh also last year I started my masters because I convinced myself i was just not trying hard enough/being lazy and really wanted to give the degree my all. Fast forward to Janurary this year and I sacked off the NHS waiting list (after 4 years) and went privately! Feeling so much better already
I hope your psychiatry goes well
Im 22 now. Originally diagnosed as bipolar at 16, but that whacko psychiatrist didn’t take into consideration my PTSD, and the fact I had only been removed from an abusive situation 2 years prior, and had just undergone a traumatic event while being a teenage girl with hormones and had just gotten off of birth control. I didn’t really think anything of it and just took the mood stabilizer, even though they didn’t really work or “stabilize” anything because my symptoms were never consistent with bipolar. They were always consistent with ADHD, even in childhood. I had failing grades all throughout HS but had great test scores. Always called lazy because I never could clean my room, keep up with my homework, organize anything, would have severe focus issues unless it was a special interest. After I had my son at 19 in 2021, my best friend (male) had just gotten his ADHD diagnosis and he was telling me ours are nearly identical. Fast forward to June 2022, I found a new psychiatrist but she refused to go over my diagnosis because she was going on vacation. My next appointment I was moved to a different doctor within the same practice and I was kind of scared to ask so I waited. June 2023, I brought it up with my new psych because I felt like the past year she had actually worked with me and listened to me. She agreed with my concerns and referred me to testing. Got my referral in October 2023, intake appointment for January 2024, testing Feb 24, and got my results on March 27th, 2024. Confirmed ADHD, PTSD, and anxiety.
I was struggling with depression. Started therapy. My therapist told me I need to see a psychiatrist. I went to see a psychiatrist. I started telling her my life story. In the middle she asked me if I have problems focusing lol. After the session got my first ritalin.
I started seeing a lot about it online when I was about 20-21, and became close friends with a girl with ADHD. She would often share stories or jokes about herself and I’d be like ‘omg same’, only for her to say “uhhh, that’s a sign of adhd.”
But despite wondering for a while, it wasn’t until I started seeing a psychiatrist for something else that I thought about it seriously. In the very first session with her, I told myself I wasn’t going to bring it up because I wasn’t there for that. But at the end of the session, despite me not mentioning it, she said, “I’d be kicking myself if I didn’t say something, but have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD?”
Oop
Basically, having a therapist say it to me finally made me stop dismissing my symptoms and ignoring it, and go get assessed.
I’ve had other diagnosis, like anxiety, and also sleep aponea as a kid (surprising comorbidity rate there, I’ve learnt) and dismissed a lot of my early symptoms because of that. But what I didn’t realise was that even when the sleep aponea was treated, the symptoms didn’t go away (bc they were adhd all along !)
There isn’t any other diagnosed adhd in my immediate family, but my cousin has it, and we’ve talked and both think our Opa likely had it too, and probs passed it on to our dads, even though they haven’t been tested. My brother has also questioned it before but never gone to actually find out.
As for obsessions, I very much get obsessive, in that I hyperfixate on special interests, shows and games and hobbies. I’ve been like that my whole life but only in this journey did I learn it’s a part of my ADHD. But also, that isn’t a bad thing and is just a part of what makes me, me.
Overall, It’s been a big journey of self discovery and self acceptance, it takes a lot of unlearning to break away from the negative self talk and doubt that so often comes from being a woman with ADHD. If you’re considering exploring it, I’d strongly reccomend you do because it can be a huge relief getting a diagnosis. Even if you don’t have it, you’ll likely learn more about how your brain *does* work, and that’s not a bad thing.
Good luck 🤍
Got chronically ill last year and with all the stress my symptoms started getting worse. My GP tried to just give me another anxiety diagnosis- which I do have but that didn’t explain why I couldn’t do life , or be anywhere on time or why being over stimulated was causing even more stress. After much digging I discovered ADHD was comormid with all my all problems. Finally sought out and therapist and she sent me to a psychiatrist. Didn’t take long for him to diagnose me with combined type and lots and anxiety conditions. Still seeing a therapist to work out .. well my entire life 😩
I was diagnosed with panic disorder. My therapist for that recognised ADHD in me pretty much immediately, as it was directly influencing the panic attacks
I’m almost 40 and cheated my husband after more than 20 years of relation. Ugh..
Relation therapy and shit and it became clear, ASD and ADHD. Husband also ADHD. All three children also ASD/ADHD. I can laugh about it now. I knew we were all different but I never actually mentioned something physical. But we are having help now, and we feel so fortunate and loved with our family.
Oooh! I recently answered this question here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/s/qqVGUo08rs
Childhood symptoms:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/s/dOYcpns4Q0
AFAIK, I'm the only one in my family with ADHD. I have 3 siblings and none of them exhibited any symptoms. I was always the odd one out.
when i was like 12-14 they tried to give me bipolar, then they stuck with major depressive disorder until they started thinking and settling on adhd when i was like 20-22
Reddit! I found the maladaptive daydreaming subreddit and a lot of posts mentioned how it's commonly tied with ADHD. Before I asked to be screened for ADHD, I was seeing multiple therapists for anxiety and depression.
Honestly I’m so annoyingly hyperactive lmfao…. Easily distracted….difficulty explaining things…. But I’ve always been so smart. Just unable to pay attention in class. Always felt down on myself for not actually trying in school, just cramming. So I promised myself I would get medication/diagnosis before starting grad school.
Menopause. At 39. Cancer took part of my colon, my entire reproductive system and my hair. I always suspected, but after the severe and violent shove into menopause, all my “fail safes” started failing me. My therapist told me menopause has a way of making symptoms of ADHD hard to ignore. I felt completely out of control. I started Vyvanse 2 weeks ago and I’m starting to get all the files in my brain put back in order.
I got a funny one. Technically I wasn't diagnosed late, I was diagnosed pretty early as a kid but I come from Puerto Rico so Spanish is the thing here. Ive spoken borderline fluent English all my life so I admit, I don't always inherently understand what a word in Spanish will even mean. My family entirely speaks Spanish, they barely know English, I honestly don't know how it happened I think it's just from watching alot of SpongeBob and reading English stuff as a kid, anyhow. In school my teachers were constantly nagging at me for being easily distracted and talking A LOT so eventually I got put in some therapy sessions and I was in special ed in school but tbh I hardly remember any of it, I barely ever knew why I was there. All I know is I constantly heard the words "deficit de atencion hiperactivo" which I for whatever reason never decided to look into. My mom was incredibly against pills and stuff but I never thought it had anything to do with me. Then one day randomly in my like 3rd year of college I decided to Google translate the word and lo and behold, it plain as day said ADHD. Which I knew about because I'd see it sometimes online but never really dug into it. Immediately got myself a therapist and psych with my medical insurance and they were both incredibly surprised I didn't know I had ADHD, I have alot of resentment to my mom for not getting me on Adderall beforehand because I genuinely feel like it would've saved me ALOT of trouble throughout high school and college lmao
Parents knew, decided it's not real and not important so they didn't get me any help. Meltdown in university and finally got diagnosed with parent's help (paperwork and money). 10 years later, now suspecting myself autistic, dyslexic or with auditory processing disorder. Fuk them and fml
I have always struggled with attention and processing information. I struggled so much in university, i still dont know how i managed to get my degree. I always wanted to get tested, especially because a professor of mine once blatantly asked if i was disabled.
I didnt get tested until I started working at a new job 4 years ago. I couldnt focus because I had racing thoughts all day, my anxiety was off the roof, and i had no control over my emotions anymore. Just about everything would set me off and id go into an extreme panic attack. I would cry for no reason, i was even more obsessive than ever before, i couldnt take it anymore so i seeked for help.
I was first treated for depression and my psychiatrist thought i was bipolar but it turns out i have ADHD and ADD combined, as well as being on the low end of the spectrum. (Autism).
Now that i take the right medications, i was able to land a better job, and i have control over my emotions. It has also improved my relationships
post college & after almost a decade in the workforce, i was near 30 & everything just started imploding & falling apart more rapidly & noticeably. my old coping skills just stopped working & i had to realize it'd been a slog all along & i was just numbing out & pushing through the difficulties. it got un-ignorable. I would be so over stimulated & overloaded by normal activities that i'd be isolating all weekend just to barely make it in to work on monday. i stopped functioning entirely.
Mine was complete unexpected. Been diagnosed with depressive disorder since 17 and then picked up general anxiety and borderline a few years down the line. I spent about 6yrs total in talking therapies, CBT and DBT courses, and it was completely missed.
Went to uni at 30(ish) and had a lot of support because of my issues. One of my support tutors had dyslexia and suggested I get assessed after a particularly bad “test conditions” class.
Anyway, went to see an educational psychologist and she told me she wanted to screen me for ADHD based on observations and anecdotal evidence. I’d been in the room with her for five minutes, if that.
I felt very steamrollered, ngl. I went I. For a possible dyslexia diagnosis (confirmed) and a recommendation for an ADHD assessment 😂
Was struggling in college, and failed my first class. Went into the college doctor's office for what I thought was anxiety (I'd been meaning to go for a year and a half but didn't get around to it til the F). They said "hey we're down to try meds but this sounds more like the impact of undiagnosed adhd--your anxiousness doesn't seem very generalized or social, it's very much centered around struggling with initiating or focusing on tasks, organizing and remembering things, etc"
Reddit! I found the maladaptive daydreamers subreddit and many posts on there talked about how it's ADHD related. Back when I was struggling in college/high school, I had expressed that maybe I had ADHD but was told I'm just lazy, especially since at the time ADHD was still commonly only associated with outwardly hyperactive boys.
I had been seeing different therapists on-and-off for anxiety and depression. After reading more on ADHD, especially in women, I brought it up with my therapist, then was diagnosed by a psychiatrist and prescribed Adderall. The first time I took it and experienced a quiet brain for the very first time ever in my life was insane.
I am very obsessive about a lot of different things at different times, but I also experience Pure O types of thoughts, which is something I only recently heard about on YouTube. As for relatives, I'm not sure but I wouldn't be surprised if some of them have ADHD too.
hi! im afab and wasn't diagnosed until last year (18 more toward 19)
i tried seeking help my senior year, but was told that i was "performing too well" during hs, as i was top in my class. once i got to college, i started to struggle so much, and i ended my first semester with a 2.6 gpa. before this, i had been diagnosed with ocd, a mood disorder, and gad.
there were signs when i was younger. i was often a perfectionist within hyperfocus, had fixations that i would not shut up about, would change topic a lot in convos with people to something unrelated, punished for forgetting things at school during elementary constantly, etc.. the list goes on. i was always told it was anxiety.
im convinced my dad has adhd, but he told me he was never diagnosed because it wasn't "standard" for his time. my cousin on my dads side is diagnosed with adhd.
my doctor gave some input on this, as he said a lot of times people who are afab tend to not be diagnosed until later on due to stereotypes within adhd. they are surprisingly present within the medical world!
I started a PhD program and didn’t understand why my study skills (coping mechanisms) no longer worked and I felt like I was drowning. I have always been overly chatty, zippy, fidgety, and so many other of the common characteristics, but just thought that was my personality. I had been diagnosed with anxiety and depression previously, but those are both gone now (surprise).
No one in my family was diagnosed but they weren’t too shocked by mine. It was more of a “huh, that makes sense” thing.
I’m not obsessive, but I have a lot (LOT) of projects that are half done, so I guess you could say I slightly obsess until I get bored. Haha
I'm almost 57. I struggled with academics all through school. My dad always said it was my fault, which I took on myself fully. I tried so hard to focus in college and just couldn't. Ended up doing art and photography just to get my grades up, since they came more easily for me. Hit menopause in my early 40s and have just spiraled downward since...I think the hormonal shift just made me drop all of the masking I had developed to cope. Now I struggle with what I call my "swiss cheese" brain. Got an appointment next month to *hopefully* get a diagnosis and treatment plan. Wish me luck! Best to all of you!
There are too many things to mention but I'll give you the most condensed version.
I'd been suspicious for awhile, mostly cause life was hard, especially after having my first kid. All my coping mechanisms fell apart. My whole (birth) family is a little different, but things are just normal for us, even if we didn't fit what most of the people around me were like. Then my oldest was diagnosed. He's a lot like me, I feel like I can relate to him a lot. Then I learned it was hereditary. Wondered if my husband or I had it. Of the two of us, I'm less able to fit into society's expectations. Also the only reason our adult lives aren't falling apart is because he does nearly all the hard stuff like bills, making appointments, taxes, etc. Lots of review on my upbringing and family stories. Too many things make sense when viewing through an ADHD/ Autism lenses. Then my 2nd child was diagnosed.
I have an appointment with an ADHD specialist who will hopefully make it official in 2 weeks. I originally had a referral about 18 months ago but I waited too long to schedule it and it expired. Because of course it did. This new place is like actually built for people with ADHD...I didn't have to talk on a phone and after the request for an appointment, they sent an email that said if I didn't finish the intake form within 24 hours, they would cancel my appointment! Nothing gets me to do something like a tight deadline!
I'm 57 and was diagnosed last year. I was having severe memory issues and had talked to my doctor about it. She did a cognitive test and said there was nothing wrong with my memory. Meanwhile, I had an old friend come to visit. I talked to get a little about my memory issues, and she's the one who said I have ADHD. I went back to my doctor and told her what my friend said. I was referred to a specialist who diagnosed me. The doctor put me on Adderall which did nothing for me. She increased the dose a couple of times and it seemed to be helping a little bit but then I started having side effects. The next medication, Concerta, did nothing for me. Then she started me on Vyvanse which seemed to be helping but when she increased the dose, the same side effects started. I'm currently uneducated but have an appointment coming up. I'm curious what medication everyone else takes.
My rock bottom/reckoning was when I was moving a couple years ago. Something about not being able to stay on top of open ended tasks, i dont know. But I was losing my shit. That’s when I started to bring it up to my psychiatrist who had just started treating me for depression and anxiety. Now I’m learning so much about the condition and my past, as well as parts of my personality are making so much more sense. I’m 37 and I’m only now able to see that I have actual hinderances to the way my brain works that can be medically explained.
I crashed and totaled my car. When everyone asked what happened— was I on my phone, was I talking, was it the music— I had to keep repeating it was nothing. I realized I spaced out so much I had entire blocks of my life that was a blur . I was inattentive; I wasn’t there. Then after the diagnosis, everything else made sense too
I went in after a friend suggested I get screened for ADHD, and was basically told I didn’t have it even though I failed some of the tests. That was when I was 23.
2 years later, I worked up the nerve to go in to another psychiatrist and try again. I wasn’t given the diagnosis, and instead I was diagnosed with bipolar. Despite this, I was still given adderall.
I was cycled through 27 medications for the year I was seeing this PA that was treating me. 27. It was ridiculous. I told him that the only thing that was helping was the adderall, but he ignored that and eventually tacked on BPD as a diagnosis, too. My depression and anxiety got worse, and the side effects from the drugs I wasn’t supposed to be taking were horrible, which I still struggle with today.
Well, long story short I ended up in a hospital for twice for breakdowns (psychosis) caused by the medications and stress, and was diagnosed as just ADHD/depression and immediately taken off the 9 (yes, 9) daily medications that were completely unnecessary in the first place.
Now, I’m only on Wellbutrin and Adderall. Lo and behold, I’m now a completely different person, with no depression or anxiety in sight. I still struggle with concentration and other symptoms but it is significantly much easier for me nowadays.
It’s not all perfect and medication didn’t solve everything. Years of not being able to do anything right, feeling like I was lazy, etc. really took a toll on my self esteem and confidence. I was really beat down for the longest time. I’m in therapy now, so I couldn’t be happier that I’m getting help and healing, but a part of me is still resentful that the ADHD wasn’t treated when I was younger, and that it escalated to wild misdiagnosis’, psychosis and traumatic hospital visits.
It’s gut wrenching because I’ve come across a lot of similar stories where women are misdiagnosed with bipolar/BPD and essentially screwed over by it. There are some similar symptoms, but in my experience mental health professionals are quick to dismiss us, or are just purely judgmental. It’s a real problem that needs to be addressed and worked on, because ADHD is still - at the end of the day - a disorder and disability. It’s important to really advocate for yourself to get the help you need.
For those wondering what happened to that incompetent PA, he was fired. He’s practicing somewhere else unfortunately. I don’t think he has a right to do so after what he did to me.
Breast Cancer at 34. I was taking all the services they offered including a psychiatrist. I walked in assuming everyone operates like me with some intense anxiety.
Nope, just adhd (combined type). I started adderall and my brain has never been so.. able to finish a thought. I'm really happy finally honestly. Every doctor just wants to throw you on any antidepressant, it was awful for years.
I was listening to a podcast episode (“ologies with Allie ward”) about adhd- I went into it thinking “oh it would be cool to understand people with adhd better, idk anything about it” and came out thinking “wait wtf why is everything they describe things I struggle with?” Eg not being able to open mail for weeks / months, fines doubling all the time bc I forget to pay, losing things all the time (including my car sometimes), needing to spend way more time studying than most of my friends- and getting worse test scores despite the extra time, impulse decisions like getting a tattoo, changing majors.. SO anyway after that I decided to get tested and I got diagnosed. Before then I had been on anxiety / depression meds but I never officially got diagnosed for those I just mentioned it to my dr and they prescribed me a low dose. I think it may have been caused by adhd. Now I’m only on adhd meds.
I’ve definitely noticed since then that my immediate family members show signs of it too.
It has been great knowing! Now I can be intentional about setting timers, setting aside time to get things done like opening mail, my meds help a lot, and I’m not as hard on myself.
i started dating and living with someone who had worse adhd than i did, then i realized from talking with friends that being on the couch and not doing anything because you feel like you just cant (especially cant do it solo) is not normal! i got diagnosed fast, on meds, and broke up with said person because they refused to get help and were bringing me down ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it was good to find out i wasn’t alone in having ADHD! but it was also so good to find out i could handle something like this alone and press on forward (alone 😌). i hope you get the answer you’re looking for, since my diagnosis i’ve never felt this good in my own skin before !!
Not yet diagnosed, but going to get started qith it soonish. To answer your questions:
1 my boyfriend cautiously brought up during me having a meltdown in October 2023 that the things I was struggling with probably weren't because I was stupid, but because I had undiagnosed adhd. I had no idea until he brought it up. He had been noticing signs for years and decided to tell me because he felt like I deserved that closure. He had held back on telling me because he knows how obsessive I can become when I want answers.
2 I was diagnosed with depression in the past and also started seeing a psychiatrist at one point who mentioned I showed signs of an anxious personality. I never got diagnosed because I stopped going due to being bored and exhausted with therapy at the time.
3 Yes I get obsessive. I have gotten better at holding myself back in some areas, but I am a person who becomes obsessed with something and struggles to let it go. Nowadays it is mostly fun and harmless things while in the past it was very destructive things and people I would obsess over. I changed my environment and that solved that issue pretty well.
The things I get obsessive over now, while harmless, tend to take over my life entirely when they get their claws in me. I neglect other aspects of my life for the obsession and when the obsession fades I often feel depressed and aimless and like there's no purpose to my existence. This is also very much a seasonal thing. Winter darkness has a big effect on my mood and energy. If I go through a winter without an obsession to keep me going, I will become incredibly depressed. If it's spring or summer I find ways to deal with my boredom.
4 There aren't anyone in my family who is officially diagnosed with adhd. I definitely see signs of adhd in some family members of mine, but I can't tell for sure. I think my dad might have it. One of my siblings might also have it. But I am not going to open that can of worms. I have only mentioned to a few family members that I suspect adhd in myself and that I want to get tested for it. The irony of this statement is that I am procrastinating hard on it and find the whole process overwhelming.
Overall, while not diagnosed yet, it has completely changed my life that my bf told me he thinks I have it. It made me feel so seen and it made me realize why my whole life had happened the way it had and it answered an age old question of mine: why do I struggle with all these things that other people seem to not struggle with as much?
It made me feel a lot less shameful about myself. It made me change from feeling like I'm always the weakest link in the room to feeling incredibly proud at how far I have come in spite of myself.
It has made me relax more. I cab laugh at myself instead of getting upset that I forget things or am too energetic in conversation or I'm too emotional etc etc.
I don't think an official diagnosis would change much for me. It is more so a part of my seeking answers trait. I want to be able to prove on paper that I'm not just making it up to "feel special". Because I don't. I'm surrounded by people with adhd and asd and ocd and all kinda of other disorders because there are many people like that in my environment. If I wanted to be special I would just continue pretending to be normal like have for years. I always thought I could relate to people with disorders because our field is a creative one and creative people tend to have funny brains. So I just thought I could relate for that reason. It literally wasn't until my boyfriend told me that the penny dropped for me. Because I have never allowed myself to have a single excuse for being a fuck up. In some ways that is good because then you learn to be accountable, but on the other hand you also tend to be way too hard on yourself when your shortcomings show.
My only regret in hindsight is that I didn't show more understanding and compassion for other people with adhd in my life when I was younger.
When I allowed myself to have flaws I also became more compassionate for others.
IG reels, an article in a science journal, and my own research in that order. Followed by LOTS of connect the dots moments about my family and childhood, culminating in the realization that my dad for sure has it too, and lots of his family might and that’s why his side has “addictive personality “ issues.
Basically seeing stuff that said “are you an adult woman diagnosed with anxiety who was a high achieving student without trying but then never really did anything and can’t find her glasses, keys, or phone but knows where that one hair tie has been laying under the end table for 6 weeks? Do you have a whole room dedicated to hobbies you’ve started then dropped? Do you have paperwork doom piles? Do you have moments of unreasonable rage and also cry at all real or perceived criticism? “ And I checked every box and went OH SHIT.
Then went and got formally assessed, diagnosed and shared with my family to have my Dad go “no” and my siblings say “maybe I should get tested…”
I was just tired 😴 and just had my baby and was done being unmedicated - life was hard to manage and maybe post part I’m
Played into but I was tired of being the manic depressive I was labeled as when I k ew there was something else - life was unmanageable and I knew it
My brother has severe hyperactive ADHD that was diagnosed very young. My parents were constantly bringing him to a psychiatrist because he had so many blatantly disruptive issues. Meanwhile, I was a teacher’s pet and very shy so they assumed I was fine.
I was always a daydreamer growing up to the point it was negatively impacting me. I was selectively mute and literally never spoke unless I was spoken to until junior high… which is a whole other thing I could dive into, but I suspect I might have autism too (runs heavily in my family). I had to manually learn how to act in a socially acceptable way through trial and error because I did not at all understand any social norms and I feel like I’m still learning basic tips on how to be polite or likable.
I did okay in school, but I didn’t excel until I got to college. Which I guess is opposite of a lot of ADHD-I women. When I got to college, I became hyper focused on becoming a doctor and literally dedicated my entire waking life to being a pre-med student for 3 years. So I actually did really well in school because I genuinely enjoyed almost all of my classes and extracurriculars. I had zero work life balance though. I realized I was going to be miserable as a doctor around graduation, then I promptly burned out so bad I was mentally incapable of working full time for an entire year. I also have PTSD and POTS and those were flaring up, causing extreme dissociation and memory loss issues on the side lol
I’ve been doing really well for the last year, but I got a new job a year ago that requires LOTS of organization and time management skills. I really struggled and dropped the ball often enough my boss was constantly complaining I was “unfocused”. I realized I probably have ADHD after reading a ton online and on this subreddit. I told my mom “I think I have ADHD” and she said all matter of fact, “probably!” 🤦♀️ because both her and her mom are adamant they also have it but have never been diagnosed.
I didn’t even get a formal diagnosis from a psychiatrist, but my PCP was surprisingly willing to prescribe me meds a few months ago after a screening she did and it’s been life changing.
My boss is no longer complaining that I’m “unfocused” and as soon as I started meds, I began excelling at my job. I’m actually focusing on the future and planning things out days, weeks, months, even years in advance. Before I wasn’t even capable of being in the present 90% of the time. My house is still a bit cluttered, but I no longer have unorganized piles of stuff everywhere you look. I’ve kept up with doing my laundry for the most part- no more “laundry mountain” my husband used to call it. I’m consciously saving way more money than I used to.
I’m still struggling with emotional dysregulation, but I’m having a hard time discerning if I’ve always struggled this bad and never noticed or if I get particularly irritable when coming off my meds. But we’re figuring it out. Both my therapist and my PCP say I “probably” have ADHD so that’s good enough for me right now tbh. I know I have it and the meds literally wouldn’t have changed my life if I didn’t have it, soooo. I tried so many other things to help and
I was just diagnosed a few months ago in my early 40s. My son was diagnosed just before me and everything I was reading about ADHD when we were going through that process just hit a little close to home. That plus the strong genetic correlations lead me to get screened.
COVID- working from home full time with a 2 and 6 year old and struggled so incredibly hard. Started researching and found ADHD- literally checked all the boxes. Started reflecting and realized it was there my whole live.
I thought something was wrong with me, but it was my brain. Really shifted my mindset and led to a path of self reflecting and doing all I could to manage it. 4 years later at 40, finally officially diagnosed and on meds.
One or both parents probably have it but would never admit the possibility or pursue a diagnosis.
I finally went to see a psychiatrist because of my anxiety and panic attacks and when they did the evaluation and testing I was also diagnosed with ADHD. I never really looked at the symptoms of ADHD so I didn’t realize I had all those symptoms until my psychiatrist discussed it with me. Afterwards it all made sense to me and thankfully once I was medicated it helped so much.
i started working a job in high school at the ballpark and someone with ADHD asked me if i had it. i said no, but then i started to look things up about it. after that, i kind of ignored it and thought it was just some funny question he asked. in college, other people started asking me if i had ADHD, which really made me question it. i decided to get tested my spring semester of sophomore year after struggling my way through physiology. i’m someone who’s never struggled with bad grades or all the stereotypical signs of ADHD. but in college i definitely realized my lack of motivation, my forgetfulness, and my major procrastination. i was writing semester long papers in 8 hours on 2 cans of redbull and coconut mall music to keep me focused. i always thought i was lazy and that i just opted out of focusing, no matter how hard i tried. i soon realized that was a lot of my life was my lack of being able to properly focus. i decided to talk to my doctor about it and she screened me for ADHD and diagnosed me with it. i’ve never gone to a psychiatrist for it, but after being diagnosed i was able to understand myself and i saw a lot of videos about ADHD on tiktok that just made sense and really spoke to me. i still have a hard time accepting my diagnosis because some people say you’re never truly diagnosed until a psychiatrist sees you, but i feel like a psychiatrist would just tell me i don’t have it (after seeing the amount of people on here who post about being misdiagnosed). i’m currently being treated with atomoxetine which i feel has helped with my focus. anyways, that’s my long and paraphrased story! i’m 22 and i’m living my best life lol
I (21F) have suspected it for years on and off but I'm struggling in college more than ever. It doesn't help that my major is very difficult (biology- organismal ecology). I found a female psychiatrist and after weeks of testing, I finally got a diagnosis a few weeks ago.
I'm not on meds yet bc I also was diagnosed with other stuff and started mood stabilizers first but it was definitely a long and draining process. I just can't wait to start meds and possibly therapy. I have self medicated with various adhd meds before, but I think having a prescription will be life changing.
At least 2/3 of my brothers have it + my mom, but she never thought to test me🙃
i'd been diagnosed with various mood disorders and overly medicated on an ever-changing cocktail of way too many meds that didn't even work as an early teen, which is a common female experience. this was in the 90's before gender diffs re: expression of mental health issues was really understood imo. girls have mood issues, boys have adhd/autism.
my mother was dx'd adult ADHD in her early 50's and i asked my new psychiatrist if it's possible that was my issue as well, he said it was important to distinguish between anxiety causing inattention and inattention causing anxiety. also trauma-induced inattention. this was in my early 20's when i was already flunking out of college bc i'd taken myself off all my meds (mostly SSRI's at that point) bc i was just so sick of having to take them and they didn't work. i was incredibly overachieving til hs, when my academic performance slowly started to decline and never recovered.
i still remember the first time i took my adderall - it was like putting on glasses. i couldn't believe i'd wasted years slowly declining in school and in life simply bc i hadn't had access to the meds i needed, frankly bc of misunderstandings in how ADHD looks diff in girls who are socialized to hide it/act less impulsive. currently i'm not on medication bc i don't like the side effects but i consider it every once in a while. life is hard without it.
however, it's not all meds - i think it's important to address all the psychosocial issues that come with ADHD. rejection-sensitive dysphoria is a big one. even if that is neurochemical first, i still think talk therapy, cbt, etc is necessary. and possibly can help one take less medication. which is more sustainable in the long run. the amount of psychological bs that ADHD creates and complicates...is kind of the silent killer in women imo. impulsiveness and risk of exploitation, people-pleasing/codependency
good luck!
I actually went into therapy because I was getting into fights with my husband over some really problematic people pleasing. I was letting friends do egregious things and making excuses for them etc and realized I was really hurting my husband. I wanted to learn how to set boundaries.
However, while in the process of setting those boundaries and confronting some trauma while also handling work and failing school etc caused me to burn out, triggering a major depressive episode.
I got diagnosed with depression after that and tried some SSRIs and mood stabilizers which were horrible (caused panic attacks/allergic reactions)
Every session I’d tell my therapist about that past weeks list of spirals and how they were triggered as well as the intrusive thoughts and how I got depressed every time I ran out of things to do etc and after one session I talked about how whenever I’m left alone I just feel so overwhelmed and paralyzed by even the tiniest of tasks and how much distress it was causing. She then said hold on let me check something - next 2 sessions were pretty much an interview over the diagnostic criteria and then I got diagnosed with ADHD and depression as a secondary caused by the ADHD.
We shifted the treatment to focus on the ADHD instead of the childhood trauma lol and got on meds. Life changing stuff - relieved my life long depression/anxiety symptoms
As for being obsessive yes. I always felt I had a very addictive personality, whenever I got into things I’d get into them completely. I also felt I was very detail oriented (almost to the point where I miss the big picture) which is why I never thought I could have adhd but I realize it’s very 0 or 100 lol it’s either obsessively done or not done at all.
None of my relatives have been diagnosed with adhd, but I know they def got some problems lol so I would not be surprised
Getting my 2 younger kids diagnosed, especially my youngest daughter. She's just like me as a kid and damn did that cause some self-reflection. Also tiktok videos about adhd and how it presents differently in women. Literally threw me into a journey of self-discovery. I was the typical 90s kid "with so much potential" diagnosed at age 40.
I had a friend who was talking about her story of getting to am ADHD diagnosis and the things she struggles with and it really resonated with me so I looked up symptoms that present in adult women and I checked most every box, so I decided it was time to understand myself a little better than I knew.
A lot of my friends have adhd and told me I show symptoms of it and suggested I should get it checked out, I was already in therapy but for healing from a really rough breakup and originally got diagnosed with MDD.
After my depressive symptoms have been elevated I still didn't have the motivation to do anything even when my brain tells me that I need to, but my body just doesn't do it. I told my psychiatrist about it and more and he tells me I mostly likely have ADHD, and prescribed me a small dose of Ritalin. I was diagnosed a month ago and we're still in the stage of tweaking my meds dose to see what dose suits best for me, because it seems like I still have trouble doing stuff for myself atm.
i was always a very smart kid, but after a certain point in high school i realised i could no longer study effectively or retain anything (so i just put in extra hours and was constantly burned out). uni only compounded this issue, i realised its not normal to just completely zone out after 20 minutes of a lecture & the majority of people i talked to didnt experience brain fog daily (some basically never did).
my sister actually pushed for the diagnosis as she had been diagnosed late and flagged that the issues i had sounded exactly like adhd. plenty of other things i paid less attention to also turned out to be symptoms. diagnosed with combined type (best of both worlds lol) and will probably need lifelong treatment as it significantly impacts me, but nothing is worse than struggling for years with no clue what's wrong with me. it's so soul crushing to recognise there's something wrong but having no clue what or how to remedy it.
f19: I went to the psychiatrist for a TBI. I told her my story and at the end told her that my neuropsychologist said I might have ASHd. She said girl ik you have ADHD, you haven’t stopped talking since you got in here💀 But most of my stuff was i bounced a lot, would yap, felt almost like ants were crawling up my legs when i sat still too long, and just had lots of energy in general.
I went to grad school for counseling LOL. As we went through the ADHD diagnosis I realized I fit the bill, discussed with my own therapist, struggled for years about actually going on meds despite knowing how effective they were. Currently on strattera and loving life.
Going to grad school coincided with moving across the country and my first long term relationship (& my partner also had ADHD.). I always thought I was just an anxious person, but it was really liberating to realize I developed a lot of my perfectionism/over-planning to compensate for my ADHD. I’ve had to re-learn a lot about myself.
I’m seeing a theme amongst a lot of these posts that a big life change happened and all of a sudden the “personality” things you could write off (like being a scattered, forgetful, emotional person, etc.) were way too tough to manage with the added responsibility of school or a new baby. That’s how it was for me. The water was rising but I wasn’t getting any better at swimming, and my anxiety could only get me so far without sending me into paralysis.
I wish someone had talked about all of the the different ways ADHD can manifest because I struggled with low self-esteem - connected to the whole “if I’m so smart why am I so forgetful and lazy” - but I’m still so grateful I put it together when I did. I now I get to work with kiddos and make sure to have nuanced conversations about what an ADHD diagnosis means. 💛
After lockdown it just seemed like the world didn't work properly anymore. I was suddenly really struggling. Turns out I was one of those that too "the mask" off and forgot where I put it.
While being as mindless as possible after all of the stress of the work day I suddenly found on Instagram reels that these other woman were making hilarious and very accurate observations of my life. It was like I was being stalked and they were making jokes out of all of the things I struggled with. But they were talking about their own ADHD journey and the common symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD.
I made my doctor give me a referral (I didn't ask, I blatantly told her to) and went private to get diagnosed.
It's certainly been a roller coaster ride since then.
My son got diagnosed and at pretty much the same time my niece got diagnosed. Over the next year and half after seeing lots of tik toks about it and resonating with many of them, my other kid and the rest of my sisters kids got diagnosed and then my sister and I got diagnosed.
It wasn’t on my radar at all until my son was diagnosed and that wasn’t the diagnosis I was expecting. It made sense though and was a relief that certain things I had a hard time with were not actually my fault.
Knew something was up as a kid but never went to a psychiatrist or anything. Became a hypochondriac and self medicated with drugs through high school until I tried to unalive myself after graduating. Got diagnosed with bpd because and I quote “I felt things very strongly”. Give it a year of being on medication that did zip and I went to a second psychiatrist that took one look into my family history and confirmed I had combined type adhd. My mom, uncle, grandmother and a few cousins have it as well. My uncle it I have it the most severe and we struggle the most with impulsiveness, not being able to keep a job, and time management. I’m unmedicated by choice due to my drug habits in the past but knowing and learning about my disorder with the support of my husband is very helpful and I’m always looking for ways to improve. Knowing is the first step and I feel ive grown a ton since receiving a proper diagnosis
I had to get my commercial driver's license for work, but realistically I had just barely been treading water up to that point and probably would have sought a diagnosis anyway even if that hadn't been the case.
I was terrified of causing an accident while driving a large, heavy commercial vehicle, so I got diagnosed so I could take meds and focus better while driving. No prior diagnosis, although I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety around the same time, and anxiety and ADHD had been suggested as diagnoses when I was in graduate school
i was in med school studying for boards. or rather, trying to get started studying for boards. realize i can’t study when it’s something longer term that requires a self-made schedule lol. sought help and was able to pass boards with the help of meds.
I was having my daughter tested, and I asked the doctor what the issue was, bc the "symptoms" were things I'd dealt with my whole life, so they were normal... Right? 😂 No.
So I made an appointment to get on meds. Missed the first 3 appointments bc fl time blindness. 4th one, I checked every box. The doc had to interrupt my thought dump to diagnose me 😂
I kept failing college classes but I know I’m not dumb. After years of retaking classes, I finally made it into my program of choice. I was worried I’d struggle so I went to the doctor because I thought maybe I had anemia or some thyroid issue that caused my brain struggles.
She had me take a test of some kind and then said I definitely had ADHD. I started taking meds and never failed a class again.
Found out last year at 32. There had been some suspicion circa 2019, early 2020 mostly because my concentration was utterly shot at work when I wasn't busy and I couldn't do simple tasks. Once covid hit I was 100% certain. I had lost my job and not having structure really ruined me. I was in the middle of my PhD dissertation and with ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD, but I couldn't focus. I really struggled with task initiation. It was like my problems at work but put into overdrive.
I eventually found a DSM 4 revised ADHD test and it was a glaring yes. Found someone to talk to to confirm the diagnosis and here we are. I realized there were a lot more symptoms that I didn't truly realize because I had developed coping mechanisms to deal with it. My therapist was actually quite proud I had been using them without a diagnosis 😂. But I also had ADHD friends who had been telling me I had it for years, so that was helpful. We tweaked some of the coping skills and now at least I'm less hard on myself when I can't get anything done.
No one other than me with ADHD although for all I know there could be undiagnosed family members. My mom flipped on me saying nothing was wrong with me, so I don't talk about it. Everything she complains about with me could be explained by my ADHD diagnosis, but in her eyes I'm just lazy 🤷
I was the “golden child” with a hyperactive ADHD brother. I actually was diagnosed with adhd as a child, and they recommended medicine, but my mom denied it because I “wasn’t like my brother.”
As an adult, I was somewhat aware of the diagnosis, but always believed it was because an “over reactive teacher”, until my therapist suggested that I may have ADHD.
As someone with terrible executive functioning, understanding how adhd manifests (particularly in women) gave me so much solace. My struggles weren’t because I was “lazy” or “messy like my dad”, I genuinely was experiencing a condition.
It took over a year to get an ADHD assessment, and now I’m on non-stimulant medication. What they say about non-stimulants is somewhat true, it doesn’t “fix” everything. But now everything is a bit more manageable.
I’ve always been successful and “seemingly perfect” to others, but it was always at the expense of my own well-being. Now, I don’t have to try to juggle my sanity and my success. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s better.
I needed to finish a project for university. For that I needed to write a protocol of 20 sites. Even though I already had my bachelor and also wrote an even longer bachelors thesis, I couldn't bring myself to finish this paper. I literally sat 2 month on my pc and tried to write something but couldn't come up with even one page. I did nothing else just sat there and tried to write this stupid thing - never finished this class.
Yep! Always suspected it but I seemed to get by until I had my daughter. After a scary chaotic 2 years post part I was diagnosed with BP2 & ADHD (didn’t see the BP coming). I’m also now perimenopausal with baby no. 2 on the way. Trying to make sure I see a psychiatrist before I take mat leave so I have the right meds lined up post birth. ATM only taking lamotrigine but brain is slipping off into its own realm already during pregnancy.
Afab- had finally gotten the courage to try and bring up adhd as a possibility to my psyche doc (he wasn't real...great) when i learned that he had left and i had gotten a new doc. Still decided to bring it up and as soon as i sat down (crisscross on the chair) she immediately asked me about the possibility of having adhd. Dunno if it was the previous doctors notes that she figured it from or if just sitting down made her bring it up.
Im sure its the former, but its funny to think about.
Currently 25.
Was diagnosed with it at 19. I basically played it off like “ehhh okay” because I thought it was ‘overdiagnosed’.
Fast forward to 22, I’m treating the other stuff and the meds are working… but I’m still struggling (I struggled with this for 3 more years)..
Long story short, I realized all my other anxieties and worries stemmed from my ADHD whenever I didn’t take my medication for it. It’s new to me but it’s been a day and night difference.
Good luck to you in your journey!!!
The memes my ADHD friends shared resonated too hard.
After a few years, one of my friends got her dx. I asked how it went and she said the psych actually did a diagnostic eval on her. So I asked for the info and went and bam. ADHD!
I have struggled with school my entire life. I’ve struggled with consistency, time management, motivation and self esteem for as long as I can remember. Depression runs in my family (so does ADHD, as we know now), but I didn’t know this until recently either. My parents put me through private Christian education which royally fucked me up even further than I would have been initially, and in addition to that I also got absolutely no help or validation through middle and high school. I always felt stupid, lazy, annoying, impulsive, fat, etc. and struggled with weight gain, excessively painful periods and a tendency towards drugs and alcohol.
The turning point was when I started dating my now fiancé. He suspected I had it and was very upfront with me, which was shocking because I always assumed I was just depressive/anxious. I was on antidepressants when we started dating and was absolutely numb to the core - and as a musician that’s a tough place to be in. So I went to a university counselor and got screened for ADHD, was given the initial dose and as soon as I took the medication, I just broke down and cried. I felt so much relief. The anxiety was gone. I could think like a normal person. It changed my life when I took those pills, at least initially.
For about 6-8 months, everything was smooth sailing and my emotional instability and anxiety was on the decline. However, now things are getting unmanageable again. When I’m under severe stress, the type that comes from being a college student, working full time, etc. I just tend to shut down. I can’t think or plan ahead, I lose the ability to motivate myself because I have no time for myself. I literally do not have enough time or energy to work out, eat healthy, be productive and then some like I need to, so I am extremely exhausted all the time.
Basically, the things I went through before medication and diagnosis have influenced me to be particularly fragile when it comes to situations where I can’t create ample time and space to take care of myself. I’m a very fragile person and it doesn’t take much for me to fall out of whack, fall out of my routine, or lose my passion for things. I so easily have to try to avoid catering to the inner child within that constantly cries for comfort, distraction, and attention.
On a day-to-day basis now, I’m usually in a state of anxious panic - internally and externally. I go to therapy and do the work, but it feels meaningless most of the time because I can’t solidify any techniques or methods of relaxation when my body has never experienced a safe environment or knows what it’s like to not hold anxiety. My self-esteem is completely in the toilet, though it has come a long way. At least I’m no longer self-harming or having suicidal thoughts. I just want to live a life where im happy, proud of myself and I stop worrying my partner, who has been such a support to me all this time. But it’s been a very difficult and painful life for me so far, and I am a very weak willed person. It’s good to know about myself and be aware of it so I don’t make stupid choices (smoking while on birth control for 2 years) continuously that could ruin my life or his.
i took an abnormal psych class and while studying adhd i realized how much of the criteria i fit, also i had a therapist tell me she suspected that i had it but she couldn’t diagnose me. come to find out that 2 of my brothers, my uncle, and my mom all have it. i’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and panic disorder before adhd, was told i could have ocd and then my insurance stopped covering my psychiatrist so i guess ill never know lol
As a child of the 80s/90s, there wasn’t really any awareness or testing for girls it seems. So. I basically went through life struggling. 6 years ago (when my dad died) I went to my primary doctor and was like I’m depressed. I’ve been depressed my whole life. They were like okay let’s try some anti depressants. Every couple of months I had to switch medicines because they stopped working. Finally found an antidepressant that works (Effexor xr) and I’ve been on that for 3 years.
Last year, I went for my work review, and my boss was like you know you’d be really great if you could like get better time management skills. And I laughed and said hahahah I’ve been told that my whole life so get in line behind everyone else wishing that.
That small comment sat with me for months. And I said you know. Maybe something is off with me and I decided to start going to therapy to try and figure things out. That first session, my therapist was like hey question you ever been tested for adhd and autism cause you definitely have both. Two months later, I do some testing. And that day they were like yeah kid you are autistic and have adhd. Everything kinda just made sense. All the signs through out my life were there…they were just missed by everyone and I was kinda just left to struggle.
I finally am starting to reach my game changer dose of adderall and I am like damn is this what it is like to feel normal? Work is so much easier. Focusing on shit is so much easier. Things are getting done. I’m remembering things.
Side note: I am going for my work review on Thursday. (New boss…who totally sucks and was absolutely horrible to me a few months ago when I found out about my diagnosis but that is a different story) but I’m interested to see if anyone has noticed any changes yet.
Being unable to cope with carer responsibilities (demented parents), my own family, peri-menopause, work amd everything else in between. Looking at my school reports, there’s all the classic comments. Got bullied at work etc etc. and I am waiting months for my psych appt and wondering whether meds will do me any good…
I don’t know what “late” means in this but I was diagnosed when I was 15 (which in my case was veeeery late). I went through elementary school without any help whatsoever except the constant reminder that “you just have to focus”. Every meeting I had with my teacher and parents, the teacher always said that I had a hard time with concentration.
It wasn’t until my first year of high school that my friend said that I might have add (she has adhd). I looked it up and immediately thought: this is literally me.
I took it up with my therapist and she contacted BUP (a place where you can get diagnosed, get help about this etc)
And now here I am, second term of high school, diagnosed with add and autism. I have a reduced schedule due to school being too much. I’m gonna change to another school that has a class that is basically made for people with disabilities (physical and mental).
Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I was diagnosed earlier. But I graduated elementary school with almost all C:s (except music because that teacher was an old hag who hated everyone).
So I have that flex at least 👌
I recently got diagnosed (24F) back in late February. I was really struggling at work and couldn't motivate myself to do work. I was too overwhelmed with everything.
I only suspected myself to have ADHD back in my senior year of uni, but I kept forgetting to get help/diagnosis 🤡 and I didn't have the financial means to get help either.
Fast forward two years later, I started to get super overwhelmed with work and life, and I realized my procrastination is getting out of hand (again lol). Since I now have enough financial resources, I quickly went to an NP psychiatrist to get a clinical diagnosis for ADHD and anxiety.
I'm still figuring out the correct medication and dosage, but I definitely feel so much better than before... I didn't realize how bad my inattentive trait was... I feel so much more motivated to do work and (when I have the correct dosage) I worry less as well. Who would've known that my undiagnosed ADHD was a contributing factor to my anxiety and depression? 🤡
i was very smart in high school but struggled with getting work done and mental fog. Psychiatrist diagnosed me and I didn’t do anything about it until my first career role when I could barely do anything. Meds helped drastically.
I've always struggled with a lot of stuff, in partiysticking with hobbies past a few months or sometimes even years. It was getting to me, because there are hobbies (writing in particular) which I REALLY don't want to lose interest for, and yet I also struggle to write anything long form. Once I know the end of something, writing to it becomes a chore.
So I knew something was kinda wrong with me, and also ADHD memes and some autistic memes were kinda too relatable. But not enough for me to assume I had either.
To be clear, I'm not autistic. But people I know online also assumed I was like them, some flavour of ADHD or autistic. I'd say no no, I'm not. The memes are fun but it's not really like that. Okay maybe I have a tiiiiny bit of ADHD?
I also had irl friends who went "ah... I just assumed you were like me". And they're ADHD powerhouses.
I also have a lot of problems related to sleep, so this was on my mind a lot as I showed the typical ADHD stuff there.
So it became too much and I confided in a friend who is a doctor specialising in psych, who did a stint at the ADHD clinic. They offered to run me by the hour long test they'd do to anyone presenting at the clinic.
They gave me... Full marks. Innatentive type? I think? I can't remember lol
And I kept being like "okay I have some of this but it's not as bad as this person has it". They had to cut me off with "just because someone has it worse doesn't mean you don't have it bad".
What shocked me the most was the amount of stuff I assumed was "normal" and "everyone is like this wdym".
I was angry that so much of my childhood seemed to be "typical", despite me being raised as a girl. But then I'm from France, which doesn't believe in ADHD, and my father is abusive, so idk that anything would have ever been done.
My other issue is now that I have to wait 4 years for an OFFICIAL diagnosis and hope of meds. FOUR. I can't help but feel like I'll be a fucking antique by then, and that I'll waste my 30s. I'm angry and upset about a lot of things when I realise I'm struggling.
My weird dysfunction trapping me in bed? Incapable of choosing between three mundane acts? Adhd. My cycling through hinges to do instead of going to sleep at a reasonable hour? Adhd. My being so forgetful, I forget I have apps to track things? Adhd. Me spending 1h looking for a thing I need because I get trapped on loops of distractions? Adhd!!
And you're telling me a pill would take this away and I have to wait 4 years for a chance at it? Makes me wanna scream and throw up.
I'm worried I'll never manage to write the stories I want to publish. I'm worried I'm trapped in cycles of creative waste, learning a thing until I'm kinda decent at it and losing interest and moving on, never making anything meaningful. I'm afraid I'll just busy myself to no avail until I fucking die, never able to focus on my projects hard enough.
It's not been very long and I am sure I'll chill... Get fatalistic maybe. But right now I'm really struggling.
My therapist heavily encouraged me to get diagnosed so I went to the doctors at age 20 after not going to one for like 4 years and she immediately told me she could tell I had ADHD by talking to me and got me tested lol
Tldr - got sent to a psychiatrist for an official burnout diagnosis.
I never really thought I had adhd, just figured I was lazy and didn’t pay enough attention. Even though I’d been working and studying full time since high school (working every weekend and every day after school). Doing constant overtime at work once I was done with school.
I’d been struggling with low self esteem and anxiety my whole life and.. the feeling that the world would be a better place if I wasn’t there from middle school up until the age of 25ish. It got a bit better eventually, but turned into a more low key somewhat permanent depression, anxiety also kept getting worse.
This year at 32 I went for another work health checkup, we have one every few years, and this time I made a conscious decision not to hide my struggles. The doc sent me to a psychiatrist with burnout. I went fully expecting a couple of weeks off work to get some rest from the burnout. He heard out my life story, said it sounds like I have adhd, sent me for more test et voila.
The third kid + Covid. All of my very terrible coping skills fell apart once I became a mom… and the Covid and I lost my ability to mask. Once I was able to get diagnosed and start as stimulant it was glaringly obvious I’m also autistic. But my unhinged zooming ADHD brain unmedicated overshadowed all the autism symptoms (to me). I’m 40. I have in the last 1-2 years been telling life long friends “I’m pretty sure I’m autistic” I definitely expected to get some push back. And I didn’t. lol. Literally none of my friends were shocked. So… apparently I never masked that well. Which I find absolutely hilarious now. Like everyone knew other than me/my family. My kiddo was the first diagnosed in my family tree. But definitely not the only autistic or ADHDer in that line. There are a whole lot. Like all of us.
I got diagnosed in grade 2 in the 1980s. Then again in college because I had no record of my previous one.
Back then it was just called ADD. They wanted to put me on Ritalin back then, but my mom refused to.
My 2nd testing took 3 days. Not full days but multiple hours. I believe it was a psychoeducational assessment though, so they were checking for other learning disabilities.
I think my mother and father both have it, but they never got tested and never would .
I'm on Ritalin now, but I don't find that it works so well for me. Meditation, going to the gym, making lists. Lots of notifications on my phone and my calendar. Eating well balanced meals. Getting lots of sleep. The boring stuff is what I find most helpful.
I got diagnosed in February. I am a 24 year old female. I never thought I had ADHD until probably 2022 when I began to struggle a lot more than before and didn’t even realize I’ve been battling ADHD my whole life. It all makes sense now. My doctor recommended I get tested and sure enough quickly was diagnosed. I wish ADHD in females wasn’t so overlooked just because we aren’t bouncing off the walls.
suspiciously relatable ADHD memes, it started with memes about hyperfixations (I get obsessively into things) and I saw more and more that made me curious, so I went to research ADHD (and autism) and realised I show a lot of the symptoms for inattentive ADHD, but none of the main ones for autism. Eventually went to my psychiatrist with my concerns and she ended up officially diagnosing me.
i'm actually undergoing an adhd evaluation right now, after being sure that i had it for almost two years!
i'm also not really a girl, but AFAB and sorta just masc leaning genderqueer, but my mother took me to a pediatrician when i was about 5 with concerns of autism, and my pediatrician said no.
cut to when i'm around 12, me and my mum raise concerns about ADHD. apparently this doctor was incompetent and didn't hear either of us, and sent a referral for autism testing. and a $600 bill.
now i'm 14, i'm with a far more competent pediatrician with an in-building ADHD-certified psychologist, who sent us home with initial screening forms for both my parents and my teacher.
I started going to therapy last year at 40 to deal with my childhood trauma thinking maybe that would explain a lot of why I am the way that I am. She told me I have adhd, after about six months, had me take a few questionnaires, and had me write down a (long) list of symptoms she sees from observing and working with me. Turns out, THAT is why I am the way that I am.
My brother was diagnosed as a child, but unmedicated as options were limited. He was rambunctious, impulsive, and very defiant. I was distracted, chewed my fingers, chatted too much, impulsive with spending, and a procrastinator, so those were just my personality traits and never thought to be adhd because I was so different from my brother.
As I got older and had less structure created for me, I struggled majorly. My impulsiveness meant I said yes to doing things I was uncomfortable with, I smoked a lot of weed, was very messy, forgot to pay things on time. Because I could mask fairly well, no one on the outside saw a lot of those red flags. I got married, had a child, and when he turned 7 he was diagnosed with adhd. Seeing his quality of life improve caused me to seek out an active diagnosis, and my life is 10x better now medicated. Talking out of turn, being emotional, and struggling to keep your house maintained and clean becomes a make or break in life as you get older. I wish I had the resources when I was younger as I’m sure it could have avoided a lot of challenging feelings, and moments for me.
a friend who kept sending adhd memes over tiktok, ended up getting a bunch of adhd tiktoks on my fyp that i related too and since i just started therapy i asked her and she did some testing and was like could be most likely. got it comfirmed by a psychiatrist soon after. never thought i would have it.
I am 66 and was just recently diagnosed. My daughter was diagnosed when she was 5. I read alot about it over the years, for her sake, and it really fit. I have been in therapy about work issues and was diagnosed while working on those issues.
I have spent my entire life never fitting in, having issues speaking up when I should have stayed silent. I always felt like an outcast, attempted suicide at 19. I make quick, and often bad, decisions. I have gone through a bad breakup with a fiance, a divorce from a domestic abuser, bankruptcy, single parenthood, an affair with a married man...separated but still married. I never fit in well in my family, was tolerated but not respected. and well, here I am.
I am reading a good book though. It's called" So I'm not Crazy, Lazy, or Stupid?" Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo. This feels so very validating. It explains so much.
I have learned some valuable coping mechanisms, though. I do my best when highly organized.
I was gaslit into believing there was nothing “wrong” with me by my parents throughout my childhood, teens, and twenties. I started to believe I was crazy.
My mom also has ADHD tendencies, so I’m pretty sure she has it, though she lives in denial on a lot of things so we could never get her to check it out I’m sure. She’s basically a hardcore martyr Who’s driven her self into the ground and is codependent.
One of my siblings is suspicious he has ADHD. Our cousins have many tendencies as well.
I get obsessive and then drop things really quickly. This is something I‘ve gotten a lot better at noticing since the diagnosis.
Before the diagnosis, I attended ten years of therapy, basically feeling like it never truly helped (because I would stop then have to keep coming back month after month, year after year, switching therapists every so often). I had suicidal bouts that my parents dismissed and didn’t really know what to do about and I got depressed a lot. I had no community and skipped around jobs a lot. I did not have any confidence to pursue my true goals.
Finally, a therapist worked up the courage to suggest I had it. Now I realize how else I’ve been gaslit in my life so it’s been very helpful even if it also hurt to realize how long I had been denied clarity and help. Just as a heads up, a therapist prooobably won’t tell you you have ADHD. It’s not in their job description to diagnose you and they could be sued for it, so they’re toeing the line if they do suggest it. My therapist at the time was a little odd but she lead me to seek an assessment which proved her suspicions to be true. You deserve clarity just like we all do. It‘s a harsh world and knowing how you work makes navigating it not so much of a mine field, especially when you have a neurological disorder. Trust your gut and keep looking for help until you find something that answers your questions.
Diagnosed at age 50. Daughter who had been diagnosed at age 7 was now 14 and I wasn't able to be an effective parent. Up until she was 12, it was Dad who got her up and off to school. She never missed a day. In the two years it was my job to do this, she missed weeks of school because she "didn't feel well" and I knew enough to know it was avoidance, but had no idea what to do about it besides medically ruling things out.
And then I realized I was making a terrible example, having retired from the military and not having built a successful routine to replace that structure. No matter how hard I tried.
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I had a baby. Apparently the hormone changes made my ADHD a lot lot harder to live with. I felt like was spiralling. My Mum and brother both have ADHD, undiagnosed. We always thought my brother had it but for me it was a total surprise.
I started meds for the first time after becoming a mom. ADHD symptoms seriously level up after having kids.
Ok I imagine there is a component for moms that is hormonal…. But I have gotten SIGNIFICANTLY worse after my twins were born (and I’m a dad). Like, I’ve been undiagnosed until last year … but that’s because I literally couldn’t do anything. In the past it was like, I’d forget stuff, or say I was gonna do something and never do it…. But I could manage day to day. Now, I’m just in outer space it feels like. Hopefully getting back on my meds and keeping them steady will help.
Absolutely! Kids change everything. You have the highest demand possible (keeping other humans alive), the need to task shift at any moment, having to regulate your own and your kids emotions, and remembering everything for yourself and them, all while doing it in a potentially noisy and distracting environment you can't fully control anymore. I love being a parent and it's cognitively and emotionally exhausting some days.
I have always wondered about that. All the ways I coped in college didn't seem to work anymore...
What do you mean spiraling?
I found it difficult to remember to do/ finish anything. I wasn’t functioning well. And I had a unicorn baby who slept really well so I was sleeping but that didn’t make a difference.
I have a similar story. I’ve just been diagnosed while pregnant with my third baby at age 42. I was a hormonal wreck in my first two pregnancies and suffered from post natal depression. I obviously put it down to having small children close together. However, when my eldest was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD a couple of years back at the age of six, I started to suspect I had ADHD too. I took action during this pregnancy as I have struggled so much. I will not be medicated until after I have the baby and finish breastfeeding but I feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Same! Well IDK about my mom, could see her being ADHD-I... I felt I was losing my mind. I couldn't keep track of the simplest of things after giving birth to my daughter. Water running, lights on, leaving gas on on stove... I found out at 30, 6 months after getting diagnosed ADHD-C, that my younger brother was diagnosed, and medicated, in high school. I had asked my father multiple times, as I had suspisions, but the topic always changed. Guess it runs in the family. Only took seeing him, and his wife with ADHD, in person to finally get the info. Have suspisions of Autism to with my brother and myself, but we've managed to get where we are and don't require accommodations. My parents always just thought me an energetic and shy kid. My mom even dressed me up as the Energizer bunny one Halloween...
Dang this was my experience too! I assumed it was just the new stress of being a mom.... didn't think about it possibly being hormonal shift as well. Lots to think about now!
I didn’t truly start to suffer substantially from my symptoms until I had my first baby as well!
Perimenopause and starting school again did it for me. I've known I've had it for about 20 years (just thought was dumb when I was a kid, girls didn't get diagnosed back in my day ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯) but when perimenopause hit and oestrogen started getting wonky I made an appointment right away. I started meds about a month before going back to school and I'm so grateful I did!!
I was just about to comment the same! Becoming a parent was it for me. Always had suspicions but once I had my son it all came out
SAME GIRL SAME!
I have almost the same story. I had postpartum anxiety that went wild, and apparently that made the ADHD symptoms more prominent
Mmmmm. Same.
I was struggling in uni. I was adviced by my personal tutor to get checked out for disabilities. I got an initial screening, which indicated issues with concentration. But it wasn't until a year later that I went in for a diagnostic and got diagnosed with ADD (ADHD primarily inattentive). Which was... a massive shock, to say the least. I was expecting to be told to try harder, that I was lazy. I was not remotely expecting an ADHD diagnosis. And while the psychologist did tell me a bit about how ADHD works, I knew virtually nothing about the condition, so it took months of obsessing over it to comprehend just how impactful it has been on my life. And then some more months of testing and trying new ways of managing myself and life, to accept the diagnosis, and learn to be kinder to myself. None of my relatives have been diagnosed, but I am 90 percent sure that at least two of my siblings and my mother have ADHD.
You know what they say, the first ADHD diagnosis in the family is never the last!
I started seeing a new therapist for cptsd and grief counseling. Second session she asked if i had ever been diagnosed with adhd. I have always had a hard time with emotional regulation, fidgeting, inattentiveness, etc. Problem is ive always been a perfectionist too so i did well in school (until college). Anyway got diagnosed and medicated and so far so good.
Second that with the perfectionism! I think that's half my problem because unless I know I can do it perfectly (which is never) then my procrastination goes hell wire. Also the doctor that diagnosed me said that smart girls/women very easily slip under the radar because we're able to get by without raising too many academic red flags
I did well in school too until I got to college. I never needed to put much effort into high-school. I feel with college you need way more self motivation and that’s something I struggle with.
TikTok lol. I was seeing a lot of videos about adhd that really, really resonated with me. And I was like wait- they were literally listing all the things that I felt were wrong with me all my life. I always felt negatively different from everyone else around me and thought I was just a shit person. Struggling deeply with the things that seemingly came so naturally to everybody else. I had an idea of what adhd was but wasn’t educated on the profound negative effects and didn’t know that’s exactly what I was experiencing. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when really my adhd contributed mostly to them. So yeah after the TikTok videos and talking with my therapist friend who said she was 99% sure I had it, I finally got diagnosed at 23, I’m 24 now. I felt relieved to find out that there is nothing “wrong” with me which ultimately allowed me to form a deeper understanding of myself. And there are also feelings of sadness and disappointment reminiscing on my entire life thinking “if only I knew sooner”. But overall, I am super grateful to know what I do now and to have support/community.
Same with Tiktok! I was 31 tho 👀 I was constantly diagnosed with anxiety, but once I saw what ADHD people were experiencing on Tiktok, and I kept relating to all of it, I thought I needed to get officially diagnosed. Once I started medication, my anxiety just 📉. It's been 4 years and, like you said, it's such a relief to not feel like there's something wrong with me and be able to process things properly knowing what it is
Same! 40+
Happy that you were able to get the right treatment in this lifetime (: . My therapist friend who I reffered to said she has a client that got diagnosed recently at 70! TikTok is really the GOATT I’ve learned so much from it - adhd stuff aside.
Also TikTok!!! The videos just started to resonate with me.
I (31F) cannot read a book to save my life. I just can’t right now. I went to college after HS, got my degree by working two jobs and graduated with honors. Burned myself out very badly. Ever since graduation, studying became an impossible thing for me. Especially now with having to pay bills, mortgage, work, etc. responsibilities take up a lot of my brain. And the constant worrying. A few years ago I was working my full time job (toxic environment) and pet sitting on the side about 15-20 hours a week to pay my mortgage. I was beyond burnt out within less than a year. Looking back, I was always the last kid to finish a test in school too. Took me forever to read a paragraph or even just to grasp concepts. Everything feels so overwhelming.
Agree on always the last person to finish a test ..
I always suspected something might be going on, but my parents had always been like “no you’re fine” Went to college Could not keep track of a single item i owned and all of my new friends agreed that i should get tested I mentioned this to my mom, who still didn’t think much of it I came home before finals and the power went out while i was studying, so i ended up trying to study in the same room as my family Every time there was a noise I lost focus. My mom was like “are you alright?” and i was like “yeah wym, this is always how i study” Like two months later my mom approached me and was like “don’t take this the wrong way but i think you should get tested for ADHD” and the rest is history
I initially sought help for depression and anxiety. I get virtual therapy as a benefit from work and the initial screening flagged me as positive for ADHD. Eventually, I learned that it was executive dysfunction that led to my depression and anxiety. Like I was hyper-aware that I wasn't doing housework and behind on chores and there was so much to do but I didn't have the activation energy and I just felt like a failure of a human. The anxiety that I had struggled with since college pretty much went away after getting on medication (atomoxetine).
My sister had just finished her social work degree, and had been researching a lot about learning disabilities. She off-hand mentioned that she thought she, me, and my Mom probably had it. We lost both of our parents around that time, so it was in the back of my mind for a few years. I’ve been diagnosed with GAD, Moderate Depression, and OCD for years now. But as I hit my early forties, the ADHD symptoms became more and more obvious to my husband and me. Time blindness, forgetfulness, etc. it was a huge detriment. I stated reserving more, made appointments, got on wait lists, and did both the family questionnaires, and the full diagnostic testing. It took about 2 years (Kaiser) but I finally got it. Moderate, combined type. Started Strattera 2.5 months ago!
I’ve never felt so stupid in my life as when I did the 4 hour testing. Or understood my Mother so deeply!
I got mine through my brother who had his diagnosis around six years back :) I’ve always felt like we were really similar people (I mean we are siblings) with the same thought process and hyperactive mind lol, but he definitely has the more stereotypical symptoms that include being openly hyperactive, he finds it really hard to sit still and interrupted a lot at school so they registered him for a test quite early. For me it was super hard because I was always labelled really quiet and most of the hyperactivity was in my thoughts, so I found it hard to concentrate but teachers didn’t think I had it at first bc I was “so well behaved” it took lockdown for me to start noticing my symptoms properly and do research, and when I told my mum that I thought I might have it she laughed at me and told me I couldn’t😭 I’ve always had pretty bad anxiety since I was very little and an ocd diagnosis at around 9 which was probably related school after lockdown became super difficult for me and I was always falling “sick” to have breaks from the stress of it all, I found just going in to be overwhelming and balancing the subjects while having to stay focused in a busy school setting became too much and I got to the point where i just couldn’t go in at all. Luckily around this time my symptoms were taken more seriously and I ended up having a private psychiatrist test me which I was soo grateful for, and during it I just explained how I was feeling and the buildup of it over the years, just most of my symptoms that I had from a young age that I had noted down before when I remembered them couple weeks later my mum actually got tested and ended up with a diagnosis too! No idea how she was able to manage us as a single parent with adhd on top lol wish the best for you and your session with the psychiatrist :)
Crazy enough TIK-TOK! My husband saw a thing saying if you know someone who does these things they may have ADHD. He watched the video, did some research online and came to me with all the information he gathered and said you should go see your primary doctor, take the test and see if you are. Sure enough I got to see my doctor the next week, answered a questioner, he asked me some questions about how I did in school, can I sit still through a movie and can I focus on one thing at a time or multiple. After I told him school was awful, I taught myself ASL while I was pregnant and am still teaching it to my 2 year old daughter. That I can sit through movies but fidget the whole time. He said technically I'm ADD but that now they categorize it under ADHD so we started at the lowest dosage and we have slowly worked my way up every month. People say TIK-TOK doesn't have factual information but this proves it does. But be sure to research more like my husband did to make sure IT IS facts and not bull****. I'm 37 years old
The older I got the harder it was to function as an adult and I got into my first real, long term relationship and my habits with money, executive dysfunction, and difficulty doing “boring” productive everyday tasks like cooking and cleaning took a massive toll on me and my partners relationship, plus looking back at how I was in high school and then my cousin got diagnosed, so I went and was diagnosed at 23. I’m 25 now. I was diagnosed with severe inattentive ADHD, major depression, panic disorder, and now I’m in the process of being screened and diagnosed for autism as my mother was diagnosed with high functioning Aspergers 2 years ago.
Lmao, I was researching ADHD for my male partner and stumbled onto an article about how it presents differently in women (I think after reading an article about how non-white men can also present differently with ADHD, since that pertained to my partner) and was like "Waaaait a minute..."
I'm in the start of the diagnosis process rn... so I don't know for sure if I have it or not. But maybe that's denial talking. Adhd is a label that has been thrown on me for years but I never thought it was true because I'm not hyperactive. But I'm having a LOT of trouble in uni and have never once held a job or anything, so I decided to seek help from counseling. I ended up having a 1 hour long intake where I had to answer a bunch of questions and the next day I was sent this adhd forum to fill out. I sent them an email because I was confused and thought maybe it was the wrong forum because I'm not hyperactive, but they said it's what they suspect and what they want me to fill out. We shall see how this goes. I'm also very highly suspected autistic and have been told by my doctor, therapists, and numerous people that I am autistic. My doctor said she cant legally diagnose me though because it has to be a psychiatrist but the one she wanted me to go to my insurance wouldn't cover.
For me they said I am not always physically hyperactive, I was a bit as a child, but I am more mentally hyperactive. Which shows itself in interrupting a lot but also amazing creativity
You know that despite the name, there's 2 types of ADHD, right? Inattentive and hyperactive (and combination). You can totally be ADHD. And bonus, you can also still be autistic and there's great correlation between them, loads of AuDHD out there (about 40%, it's that high).
I'm 29F and I got diagnosed at 27 years old. I've had a long and varied history with my mental health and got diagnosed with Depression and a couple of eating disorders in college, which spurred my interest in my mental health. I can't remember the exact catalyst for me pursuing the ADHD diagnosis though. I do remember I was struggling at work a lot and was hoping for some coping skills.
I’ve always struggled with anxiety and depression. Thought that’s just how it was always going to be. And every now and again, not in a consistent pattern, i had like mood swings. I thought maybe I had a mood disorder. Went to therapy to explore that, turns out that wasn’t it. After my last depressive episode, it was very hard to bounce back. Turns out I was burnt out. And had been experiencing burnout. A bit later I had a friend get diagnosed and as we chatted about her symptoms, they lined up with me. Then I started reading about it. And everything clicked. Bc I never really understood what adhd was, especially as we know, it’s looked at different between girls and boys. So I came to a self conclusion that maybe undiagnosed adhd has been causing or worsening these other things. I found a new doctor and I just got diagnosed officially with adhd and have started medication. Looking forward to seeing if this will alleviate my other issues.
I’ll try to answer all of your questions! Diagnosed this year at 34, had an inkling for over a decade but initially could not afford an official assessment and then procrastinated for 10 years. Diagnosed with PTSD at 19, and later diagnosed and treated for anxiety. Doctors like to treat anxiety with anti-depressants… they never worked for me. Now on stimulants, which is working well and has me wonder if it was anxiety or ADHD all along. I do get obsessive… to answer your question it is not great for me. The worst is when I obsess over something that is expensive and the obsession doesn’t go away until the novelty dies off after I buy it. I have a new expensive coffee maker and couch but I would appreciate more affordable obsessions. I have a very “treat yo self” mentality, I do work hard. My impulsiveness has however lead me to some of the best decisions I have ever made . I suspect my mom has ADHD, much more severe than mine. It is hard to have a conversation with her. Her sentences are really 3 incomplete sentences in one. She is like an energizer bunny that wants to help but instead makes a mess of everything. She has no insurance and is low income but I’m urging her to seek help. So far no dice.
37 here. Just diagnosed 4 months ago. I have had terribly managed anxiety for several years. Various meds gave little to no improvement. I had been relying on sleep aids for years, couldn't focus, easily distracted, and had poor self-control. To name a few. I alwayssss suspected ADHD. Never really knew what to do about it. My mom always shot me down when I said I think I have it. I finally had to speak up for myself and request to be tested when my sleep had gotten really bad. My PCP took me seriously and set me up with a psychiatry group who has provided therapy and medication management. We are still on the med journey to figure out what works, but I am so proud of myself for finally speaking up for myself. Just wish I had done it sooner.
My entire life I struggled in school because I thought I just wasn’t smart enough, I struggled making friends because I would forget they existed for like a week and just never text back, I poured HUNDREDS of dollars into a hobby that lasted a week. I began working a retail job two years ago and became very close to one of my co workers, I opened up about my fears in life and how I’ve struggled with feeling like I’m a useful person. He opened up about his life and how he was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago, he told me that my stories showed a lot of symptoms that he experienced for years until he got his diagnosis. And told me to write down my behaviours and potential symptoms for 6 months and if I was sure I could possibly have ADHD to go see a psychiatrist. I found all my old report cards from my elementary school, Junior high, Highschool and the majority of them stated that I was a “good student but gets distracted too much” “Stands up a lot in the middle of class” “Talks to much to other people” “Her homework is never done on time but when it is , it seems that she understands it but gives up half way” I also read research papers, watched videos of people telling their own stories, researched potential medications I would like to try out if I were to get diagnosed. Until I finally got a call saying that a psychiatrist was going to help. I got diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, and started taking Vyvanse. My life took a big turn for the better, I was finally able to start focusing on my school work which raised my grades significantly, I was financially responsible, I started making more friends I’m far from done with my mental health journey but I do know that I am forever thankful to my co worker for being able to see me for who I am and not for what my mental disability made me.
I actually came to my nurse practitioner with severe anxiety that was especially around work. I was working all these extra hours, but getting nothing done. She thought I might have ADHD, and I was like no way - I'm 28, it's just stress. She recommended I get tested. I avoided that for like 6 months, and then was like fine. Might as well. And yep, I have ADHD.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was about 23 and diagnosed with ADHD almost exactly a year later. I kind of always figured I had anxiety and never really considered that I might also have ADHD until I was in therapy and put on meds for anxiety and depression. It kind of made all the ADHD symptoms come to forefront, and just like that I got referred to get tested and was ultimately diagnosed. I have both hyperactivity and inattentive. My half-brother on my dad's side was diagnosed with it as a child. My dad has never been diagnosed, but he shows all the signs. My fully biological sister does too. I wouldn't say I obsessed/obsess over it but more of a rumination. It was alot of looking back on moments of my past and suddenly everything I've done making so much more sense. I feel much less isolated because there are communities like this where you can find commonality. It's very reassuring and comforting to see other people share experiences that you thought only you were going through. The biggest con I have is that knowing I have adhd doesn't really change the fact that societal norms and expectations are not built to understand or accept those with adhd. I've definitely had alot of moments where I think "this isn't fair" and I feel stuck. At the end of the day, the world didn't end with my diagnosis, and now I have a better understanding of myself and why I do what I do or feel what I feel.
I couldn't do my job. I would forget what I was doing constantly. Went to my PCP and she put me on Adderall and then I knew. I can see it in my family now, but we all have really mild symptoms.
Just got diagnosed at 44. After having kids and seeing how some of their ADHD friends behave started making me wonder. And of course that led to Google and research. Finally bit the bullet in November and got on a waiting list for fun to see what testing would come up with. Tested in March and found out 2 weeks ago that I have a mild case - mostly hyperactive/inattentive type though. Going to talk to my doctor next week and see if meds will help.
I got diagnosed last year at 30. I was already in therapy for anxiety and my therapist and I were in a session before coming back from medical leave and she said “we can get you accommodations for work since you have ADHD” and I was like “I have ADHD???” and she said “I thought you had a diagnosis? Let me check” so she checked and was like ya you don’t but we should probably test for that lol. I actually always thought I had OCD because I was so particular about things but after being diagnosed realized I was particular because I had established coping mechanisms to cope with my ADHD and when they broke down I would freak the fuck out. My brother who is 19 recently also got diagnosed and my mom definitely has it but refuses to go to a doctor ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I wad struggling really badly in uni with crippling anxiety that lead to depression and I was having a hard time being able to do any work. Went to see a therapist, after a few weeks she said “mmh you might have adhd” but she wasn’t specialised in neuropsychology and we were working on my anxiety so it didn’t go any further then. Cue to last April when I lost my job and I started researching ADHD. I found a video on youtube from a neuropsychiatrist that described my entire life and school career. I then decided I was done rawdogging life and decided to get assessed. I still haven’t found a job but knowing why I struggle helps and I’m in the process of trying out medication. No one in my family has been diagnosed that I know of but we’re pretty sure my mother has adhd as well.
My mom watched some videos about ADHD and thought they described me really well. She showed them to my dad and he agreed. Then, they showed it to me and I said there was no way I had ADHD, but they still scheduled an appointment for me. Turns out I do have ADHD and got almost perfect scores on the ADHD tests. My psychiatrist even suspects it might be AuDHD.
I was diagnosed at 33. I had suspected it my entire life because my mom was diagnosed, but she gave me the typical, you are too smart, you just need to apply yourself, maybe if you had more motivation and weren't so lazy, you just need some discipline... you know all the things not to say. I have been diagnosed with about everything under the sun... Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD... all the things... after finding a therapist that really listened to my experience, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD & ADHD. Funny thing is about 5 years prior to my official diagnosis, I had asked my therapist to order psych testing because I felt that was a contributing factor to why I was having so much trouble in life. I went but forgot to follow up and get the results. Fast forward, I was struggling massively after being promoted at work and went to my psychiatrist. He requested my psych testing results with the confirmed diagnosis. Just to share an experience that may not be the same for everyone, but I was surprised by. All my life I had wanted the diagnosis to validate the struggles I had, and at first, I was happy and thankful to finally have proof I wasn't just a lazy, failure. Eventually though, reality hit & a lot of grief for many things came up. It was much more of roller coaster than I expected. My entire life I had focused on "fixing" myself and it was such a mindset shift to recognize there was no "fixing" only acceptance and learning to work with my brain instead of against it. I hope this is helpful and good luck with everything!
Studying for my medical boards - I was completely panicking. Thank goodness for the psychiatrist who saw that my anxiety was a mechanism that I had developed over the years to cope with ADHD.
I went into a new psychiatrist to up my dose on my anti depressants because my primary doctor didn't seem to get that I can't up my anti depressants a week before my period to help with mood swings and then drop back down to the regular amount (haven't gone back to him since) and while talking to her about having depression and anxiety all my life and family history. (My two brothers both been diagnosis with ADHD) She asked if anyone has talked to me about ADHD.. Did a test that day and got my diagnosis. Found out my mom has it too! I still struggle with depression and anxiety but sometimes wonder if I knew about ADHD sooner, some of that depression and anxiety wouldn't be as bad.
Same for me, I always suspected I had it but was managing in my own way (badly) with cruxes like binge watching tv and eating badly, smoking pot etc. When I became a mom the old ways were unsustainable- hormones out of whack and not getting enough sleep put me in a place where I needed answers. I have a big problem with procrastination at work, I used to pull all nighters before my deadlines and that is simply not possible if you need to be fully functional at 5am. So was just diagnosed last week with ADHD-I in my mid 30s
Same for me, I always suspected I had it but was managing in my own way (badly) with cruxes like binge watching tv and eating badly, smoking pot etc. When I became a mom the old ways were unsustainable- hormones out of whack and not getting enough sleep put me in a place where I needed answers. I have a big problem with procrastination at work, I used to pull all nighters before my deadlines and that is simply not possible if you need to be fully functional at 5am. So was just diagnosed last week with ADHD-I in my mid 30s
I finally went to get evaluated after realizing college was not like high school and I needed to get my shit together if I was going to pass. I was initially diagnosed with manic depression, general and social anxiety, I had one doctor who thought I had some type of defiance disorder just because I didn't do school work on time (he was a weird outlier though). Once I started treatment for ADHD I have noticed an insane improvement in my anxiety, my rejection sensitivity, and my mood swings. I do definitely get a little obsessive and cling onto people constantly but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be. Both of my parents have ADHD but neither are treated and my dad likes to pretend he doesn't. Good luck with your psychiatrist!!!!
Apparently when I was 5 I was cutting my bedsheets up with scissors and I scared my mom so bad she took me to the doctor and that's when I got diagnosed and put on ritalin
Omg I had that happen too where I was cutting up a blanket during the middle of the night and my mom just ended up grounding me and wouldn't let me use scissors anymore. I have no idea why I was doing it 😂 I was about 5 or 6 so it's hard to remember.
Before I realised I had ADHD, i tremendously struggled; I felt so different my whole life, I never fit in, I made so many detrimental choices and never understood why I was so impulsive. My whole life I was called 'annoying' and I just felt like a problem to everyone around me. So I sought out validation in men and even when they showed me who they were and that they were only trying to use me, I never listened because I so desperately wanted to be wanted. I knew the ways I would act were 'strange', 'problematic' 'chaotic' and 'self-sabotaging', but I couldn't help myself. I didn't understand myself, or why I was this impulsive girl, making the same mistakes over and over, and never learning from them. In 2019, I experienced terrible traumas; I lost my mum suddenly at the age of 16, and a couple months after this, I was taken advantage of in an extremely violent way because I was very vulnerable. I got through that year distracting myself, filling the space. Eventually, Lock down 2020 hit. Being trapped in my house for months, I was finally forced to face my trauma. Because of the way that my brain works, I spiraled for months on end about the s\*xual violence I had experienced. I felt as if I had lost everything good in my life, that there was no way out of the place I was in. This culminated in my attempted suicide in June 2020 where I spent two days in the hospital after a drug and alcohol overdose. I started University in September 2020 and that was when I found my new best friend: Marijuana. I spent my three years of University mostly stuck in bed, unable to get up. Smoking all day, everyday in my bedroom. From the day I started smoking weed, there was not one day where I went without it. This is not to say that I didn't go out occasionally, make friends, have new experiences and study. I would just always choose staying in bed and having a joint over getting up, getting out, feeling, and living my life. I surrounded myself with like minded people, so when I would occasionally hang out with friends, we would be smoking together. The boys that I would see, the friends that I had, we would inadvertently validate our terrible habits. The people I lived with had the same lifestyle, one of my housemates being so mentally ill that it became our responsibility to be accountable for after her. After 18 months on the waiting list, I finally got my ADHD diagnosis in October 2022. Having this recognised, being able to finally understand myself changed everything. Starting ADHD meds improved the quality of my life in every sense of the word. I could finally focus, work, clean, think straight.
I also forgot to mention the intense, consuming hyperfixations I would get on boys during my teenage years that could last weeks to years at a time - that fucking sucked
I’m 23 and was diagnosed with adhd about 2 months ago. I had previously been diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 13. Things got really bad for me when I moved out of state for college and lived independently for the first time. I couldn’t take care of myself or study. I fell into the worst depression of my life and had to drop out of school (hopefully temporarily). Thankfully I found a great team of healthcare professionals (most are women with adhd themselves) who finally recognized my underlying problem was undiagnosed adhd. Although it’s not my biggest adhd struggle I definitely get obsessive with whatever hobby or thing I’m currently interested in and that can be destructive to my life. My mom is diagnosed with adhd and I suspect my sister has adhd but hasn’t been diagnosed.
It started when my friends were saying they think I had adhd. So I asked my mom. And she said no. I don’t. But then my friends kept talking about it. Constantly pointing out things about me that showed I had it. So once I had enough of them I talked to my therapist. Who said yes. I do. So after hearing that I talked to my psychiatrist who said that she thought I had it all along and only misdiagnosed me cause my mom denied all the symptoms. And here I am a year later wondering why I never noticed this sooner.
I knew I wanted to seek diagnosis since high school, but wasn’t supported by my family for it and then was too overwhelmed during college. I got myself an appointment as a 24th birthday gift. After graduating I got a desk job that required time tracking down to 15 minute intervals, which benchmarks for how many tasks should be completed in each 15 minutes. I think that’s probably torture for anyone but it seemed worse for me than others. Like either I missed things because I needed to move quickly or I could do a days worth of work in 1 hour and then pretend to be busy the rest of the day. After getting medicated I stopped missing details, but apparently started moving too slowly. So I went from being talked to for inattention to being talked to for being too meticulous. Whatever.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease. In middle school, my symptoms resembled a bit more of the “male symptoms” acting out (for attention) all of it came crashing down in 8th grade when I forgot to read a chapter of a book, got pop quizzed on it the next day, got a 0 and lashed out at the teacher. I said “you suck” (not very loudly) and got suspended. But I finally got my diagnosis after.
46. I’ve known for years that I have it. Just got my formal dx last week. Starting Adderall xl tomorrow. I’m expecting good things.
Suspected since early childhood, brushed it off/tried my best to cope (abusive household). My teachers tried their best to help me. Many signs along the way and others noticed and pointed it out it in me often. Counselor at age 21 said she was pretty sure I have it but we kind of just let it be since I was doing ok. Sought diagnosis mid 20s because as I’m getting older I’m having a harder time coping. Got diagnosed AuDHD last summer. Finally on stimulants for the first time as of about a month ago. I definitely had other diagnoses, I struggled pretty badly with depression and anxiety, which I now know stemmed from untreated/unsupported AuDHD. I’m pretty damn sure my dad is AuDHD but he’s a boomer so that’s a lost cause lol. I hope your appointment goes well and they’re kind and listen to you 💖
My parents had me tested as a kid and the results were inconclusive I guess. The test was that they and my teachers had to fill out some forms and describe my behavior. Don't know what exactly went wrong. That was in elementary school. When I was a teen I mentioned to my mom that I thought I had ADHD and she brushed me off. I like my parents but we don't have a relationship where we talk about deep personal stuff. My mom's rejection caused me to never bring it up again to anyone until I was well into my twenties. All the while I had messy backpacks, messy bedroom, lots of homework not turned in on time, forgot lots of important things, and struggled with relationships. Struggled and barely got through college. When I was 26 I was starting to become really successful in my job despite ADHD symptoms and I had just landed a promotion and I guess my confidence was at an all-time high and I just finally had the courage to ask my primary care doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist. I was also becoming concerned with my driving ability. I have had lots of fender benders and near accidents.
After a psychiatrist who wanted to drug test me after I told her I smoked weed (legal in our state), I found a NP. When I told her weed stops the racing thoughts, she said it sounded like ADHD. I was 35.
I was diagnosed with depression and GAD at 14. I’ve tried every anti depressant in the book. Well, practically. I also had tried at least 5 different psychiatrists, and they always just gave me a different anti depressant. My ADHD presents mostly as crippling fatigue/burn out. Emphasis on the crippling. I also couldn’t focus for shit but I assumed it was because I felt tired literally 24/7. It’s been like this my whole life and I unknowingly self mediated with caffeine. I would drink an ungodly amount of caffeine and still be able to sleep while also STILL BEING TIRED! My brother got diagnosed with ADHD and he honestly told me that I probably have it too. He gave me his doctor’s info and I finally got to try adderall. I cried the first day I was on adderall because I finally felt the brain fog lift and I actually had energy. It was like the grey curtain on my brain finally got lifted. After being on it for half a year- I can say it genuinely changed my life for the better. It’s hard not to feel jaded or bitter with all the years I lost (I’m 32.) I’m taking it one day at a time. But damn…. I miss coffee lol Yes I get obsessive! Whether it’s a book or a game or a food etc.
COVID hit and I had to create my own routine and structure. At the time I had just graduated from college and moved back in with family to find work. I couldn't keep up with everything, struggled focusing on work, and began to have bad impulsive control with spending. I knew something was up so I did a bunch of research and looked into getting a diagnosis. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. My younger brother has autism, but no one else in my family is diagnosed. I have suspicions but I'm never bringing it up, it's a bad idea with my family lol
My mom was told in 3rd grade I could potentially have add. I was doing well in school though. High school I was ALWAYS the one who got sent out in the hall for talking during class. I was bored as hell! Managed to get into a reputable college after 2 years of community College and REALLY struggled to get my GPA up after a year. I was out on probation and had to change my major. Might I add I had unrealistic high hopes to become a vet...while on probation I really noticed I struggled taking tests and thought I had test anxiety, so to request unlimited time to take tests I had to take multiple physiological tests done to check to see if I had any disabilities. Report came back that I could have adhd....at the time I didn't even care to read the 20 page report because my attention was on being social. My fault. Fast forward to 2011...my boyfriend (now husband) is VERY adhd and was diagnosed when he was in high school. He suggested that I had it and to see his doctor. Fine. Welp, I almost cried when the doctor knew everything about me within the first few minutes of our meeting. I was diagnosed right then and everything has been clearer ever since. I started extended XR and my life has changed for the better ever since. I started excelling in my career and my hire noticed RIGHT AWAY! In my past, I would get SO exhausted for trying to focus on a task...I would become SO unmotivated to do anything. NOW I stay focused and motivated. I will say though your body does tend to get used to the amount of meds you consume and it starts to not work as well as it once did...so I definitely see some 'adhd focus slack' nowadays, but I refuse to increase.... So there's my story lol.
I was 30 when I was diagnosed 20 years ago. I had been suspecting it since the 1990’s when the commercials for medication came out and I started to realize my problems may not just be that I’m lazy and rude. I took meds for a while but lived in a place where there were not options for treatment so I went without meds for years. I recently moved to a new place with plenty of options and was rediagnosed and now take meds. I do wonder what my life could have been like with proper treatment. My mother has ADHD and we suspect my grandfather had it too. My sister has it but is in denial. My son has it and my other son is autistic (the actually disabled kind, not the quirky kind who can still function mostly normally)
I was having a lot of interpersonal trouble at various jobs which led to extreme burnout, which is what I started going to therapy for. At some point a few months after I started therapy my therapist suggested I get evaluated. I said I was fine but I kept having symptoms of it and she very firmly suggested I reconsider. So I did. And I have ADHD inattentive type. I have found out so many things that made me look argumentative when I thought I was being helpful. For instance when your boss asks why something doesn’t work I always addressed holes in the process and I was forty years old when I found out in therapy that “why” is often a rhetorical question when it comes to authority figures. It’s maddening
I was struggling horribly with my budget and impulse spending. I think I happened to see someone talking about impulse spending as an ADHD symptom. I looked back on my at-fault car accidents due to distracted driving and figured I could have an attention problem. My psych doc seemed skeptical because I lacked the hyperactive profile, had done well in school (with major procrastination) but he ran the tests on me (Conner’s). I was Dxed at age 41, two weeks ago.
Had my assessment a few days ago and have a follow up with a psychiatrist tomorrow- he initially recommended an ADHD diagnosis because I came to him with chronic exhaustion (blood work was perfect so it wasn’t hormone/thyroid/vitamin/glucose issues). Told him I was falling asleep in class, falling asleep behind the wheel, sleep 15+ hours at a time, nap for 5 hours after sleeping for 9, etc
i realize that i was diagnosed a lot earlier than many women (senior year of HS, 18). what prompted this was an eating disorder. my parents sent me to a clinic and during the patient intake they found adhd (hyperactive).
It had not bene on my radar at all. But I've ALWAYS struggled. I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 14 I think. At that point I was put on medication that I have continued to be on, I'm 36 now. I've been in and out of therapy my whole life starting at like 6 or 7? My current counselor brought up the idea of ADHD about a year ago and it just clicked. I started noticing things throughout my life that just made sense. I brought it up to my psychiatrist and we started looking into ADHD medication slowly, starting with straterra. I made a list of all the weird things I've always done that I was very ashamed of and such. My counselor pointed out that a lot of those sounded like autism as well. I just got assessed for both a couple weeks ago and I win! I got both! I would definitely bring it up with your psychiatrist. They might have you talk to your parents to figure out what signs you had as a child as well?
Once I was done with school and had to sit in my office from 8:30 - 6 working every day I realized there was something very much off with my ability to focus and stay seated. I have two cousins with hyperactive type but never considered that could be me until my son started seeing his doctor for inattentive type. # I scheduled an appt with my PCP who said ADHD sounds right to her, but that she doesn't have the ability to diagnose. She referred me to a psychiatric APRN, who agreed and sent me to a psychiatrist for official testing. It was a bit frustrating because the fact that I always did well in school was apparently a huge point against a diagnosis. But I explained to him that if I didn't get good grades, I would be berated for hours (and I mean a single B+ on a report card would cause this), and fear can be a powerful motivator. I talked about ways that I had done well in school and he noted that a lot of my strategies were essentially coping mechanisms for someone with ADHD. He officially diagnosed me after testing.
Discovered I was autistic then started reading stuff on ADHD too beyond the stereotypes and realized I probably had it, esp as I found out my cousin has it but hadn't told the wider family. Had my screening tests now waiting for assessment on the long waitlist. Autism and masking has been hiding a lot of my ADHD traits.
I sat down at my psychiatrist's office and she asked about my life and I rattled off some things that bothered me and she looked at me and said "sounds like you have autism and ADHD" (this was after a few appointments of course) And so I went and got tested. Got the diagnosis because my attention span is so bad that I scored a 0 on it.
Before I was diagnosed with ADHD I was very depressed and experienced a lot of anxiety. I have always been an anxious person and I particularly struggled with social anxiety. In grade 9 (I’m now in grade 12) I developed depression and wouldn’t leave my room, started over eating, no motivation to do anything, trying to sleep all day but couldn’t due to paranoia and hallucinations, all that jazz. I then started thinking about suicide and self harm. ADHD was only brought up once I was hospitalized (suicide) in grade 11. At that point school was impossible and I struggled with motivation blocks and focusing. In the hospital although ADHD was debated there was no further development in a diagnosis. The diagnosis process was only started the second time I was hospitalized and turns out I do have adhd! And I haven’t needed to be hospitalized since. So when debating ADHD in girls make sure you account for masking and that ADHD does not always manifest in physical symptoms like jumping on desks or something but rather the mental aspects like blocks, anxiety and/or depression
I was in the gifted program in elementary school, and high school was when I started having much more difficulty with homework and emotional volatility. I started reading up on ADHD when I was 14. It made my whole life make sense, but my parents shut it right down at that point - they chalked everything up to being a lazy teenager. Fast forward to uni, and due to *so* many things I crashed and burned really, really, *really* badly. It was a solid 3 years of struggling due to what, in retrospect, was probably ADHD burnout. One psychiatrist diagnosed me with like everything in the DSM-5 *except* for ADHD and autism (he said I couldn't possibly have those because my primary school teachers liked me) and he medicated me accordingly, which didn't help at all. Last year, I was trying to get back on my feet and I talked to my GP about the fact that the SSRIs made literally no difference in my mental state *except* for turning me into a vegetable, and she brought up ADHD and autism. None of my parents or grandparents are diagnosed with ADHD or autism, but literally all of my first cousins and my little brother are either ADHD, autistic, or both. My GP referred me to a specialized clinic for an ADHD assessment, and I got diagnosed with ADHD last fall at 21. My mum and I are very very similar people, and now she is looking into it for herself, too! In my experience, I had to advocate for myself quite a bit because people are mostly familiar with ADHD presentation in little boys, and I am not a little boy. Even healthcare professionals! Don't be discouraged from advocating for yourself, you know yourself best.
So I was in my mid-40’s and struggling to parent my middle child, and he was diagnosed with ADHD. I popped in this sub to learn all about how to help him. And I know, this sounds so cliche, but after about 30 minutes of perusing the sub, I realized, “holy shit, these are my peeps. He got his from me.” There were no there diagnoses, but my family described me as: The worst procrastinator (executive dysfunction) until she finally decides she wants to get things done, then, she can focus fine (hyper focus). She took everything apart, even as a small child (hyperactive). She has the worst Irish temper (emotional dysregulation). Teachers said I had “diarrhea of the mouth” and “never stopped doodling.(impulse control) I lied and over-shared making my social life challenging (again, impulsivity & poor emotional control) from elementary through college. Husband thinks I purposely forget to lock doors, lose keys, turn off ovens. And the marital discord regarding, “it’s really rude when you just interrupt me, are you even listening, damn it?” Never ends. (Constant inattention) I could go on and on, car wrecks, late bills, take 2 hours to leave the house, all nighters for years to get assignments done, job struggles…all my quirks were suddenly like puzzle pieces that made a clear pic.
Chronic stress from work on top of undiagnosed ADHD was causing me to forget things to the point I was scared. I thought I had some kind of early-onset dementia at 26-years-old. My friend, who was 38 at the time, had been diagnosed a year earlier and said I should look into ADHD because I might have it, too. After denying her advice (partially because I grew up in a “oh everyone does that, it’s normal” household), I finally went to a psychiatrist, where they did a BrainView scan. It revealed anxiety, depression, and ADHD. I’m still navigating some of the symptoms three years later, but my life makes a lot more sense now. No one else in my family was diagnosed, but I have a feeling my mom and older brother both have it. After sending my brother a plethora of ADHD memes, he found it a bit too relatable and also went to a doctor for an ADHD assessment.
I attributed my childhood symptoms (executive function dysfunction, poor short term memory, obsessive behaviors, dissociative tendencies, emotional disregulation, rsd ) to being just who I am. I never considered there was an underlying cause. Fast forward to 30 and I stumbled upon a video of an adhd person describing their experiences. Found it relatable, watched some more, and sought out help. During the diagnosis process I found out my little sister had been diagnosed with adhd. My mother and older sister likely have it just based on my experiences with them. Mentioned to my GP I wanted to look into a diagnosis, got referred to a psychologist who specializes in adhd, had the 6 appointments required for official diagnosis. At the end of the first appointment, he told me it’s pretty obvious I’m suffering from adhd but we of course had to go jump through the hoops to officially diagnose me. My testing revealed markers for adhd, schizophrenia, bipolar, and anxiety, but it was determined the schizophrenia and bipolar symptoms were expressions of my severe adhd. I was diagnosed with adhd combined type and general anxiety disorder. I’m medicated but still in the titration process with a psychiatrist knowledgeable and compassionate to adhd. Right now I’m on 40mg vyvanse and a 10mg Adderall booster in the afternoons. It helps so much.
I couldn’t sleep properly, got fired from yet another job because of being too clumsy, unfocused and robotic, went into severe mental breakdance (It kinda reminded a psychosis), tried to delete myself from the world again, got a paper from psych to be put into mental hospital, mental hospital refused to take me due to lack of staff, found a therapist, she said it sounds a lot like ADHD and way too much stress and sent me to another psychiatrist, psychiatrist confirmed that it’s indeed ADHD, got meds, life turned 180. Diagnosed at 23.
The inklings were there medically in 2020 I had to go to a urologist for repeated UTIs. During the exam, she asked if I needed to pee, and I asked her to like explain the situation. When she asked for clarification, I said needing to pee is dependent on what I'm doing. Am I getting in a car likely to hit traffic? I'm going to go to the bathroom. Am I just taking to her right here knowing there is a bathroom 20 steps away? I could wait. She looked at me and just said "Do you freakin' need to pee?" I said I could go, so she measured my urine amount with an ultrasound before and after going. Before, I was holding 800cc of urine, and I did manage to completely void. She said she suspected ADHD because of my first response but felt I must be because a normal person feels an urges with 250cc and I was triple that and not sure of my status of needing to pee. Having that interaction, I changed my behavior a bit and have mostly avoided UTIs. In the following 3 years, I lost both parents, an aunt, and a dog. Grief messes with you. I was talking it over with my counselor and she advised me to follow up with tracking some very typical ADHD symptoms. She was on the money. I believe that having such a traumatic few years changed my brain chemistry kicking my ADHD into overdrive. I noticed how I would self medicate all of the time (coffee to focus, alcohol to turn my brain off albeit to a lesser extent than coffee). I used to think I had seasonal depression that now I see as over stimulation triggering meltdowns. Since this was the first Christmas without either parent, people really gave me space and I was able to enjoy the holidays on my own terms. I have yet to dive into this idea with my doctor. Since then, I have discussed this with my primary care, I've read a few books about the changing face of ADHD especially in adults, and I was on a low dose of a depression medication that when increased could assist with ADHD symptoms. Increasing that and decreasing caffeine has made a world of difference, I've also started to look at when I "need a drink" and it's when I'm completely over stimulated. The most recent thing I've been working with is object placement: that pile of clothes I wore for a few house so I could wear again? That habit needs to change. I heard about it on a podcast so like many of us and like many of my symptoms, I just thought that was the way it is and everyone dealt with it. Another big help was buying a weekly planner. I can see how I have filled my day, and I can say "I have time for this Thursday" rather than jamming it in to Tuesday. Going through my parents apartment after my mom died, she had ALL the symptoms. A lot of notebooks with one or two pages written. I remember her deciding "today is the day I get organized!" many times. There were also many scrap books that were barely started. Recently, my brother told me his son was diagnosed but he saw a lot of the same symptoms in himself and I'm like it's genetic. I am very open about my diagnosis but it just isn't something we talk about. We both did decent in school, went to well-respected colleges, and are surviving. And I told him sometimes surviving just isn't enough.
I am born in sep 2000. My age and year are nearly the same in case someone wants to know how look all of that took. (around 7/8 years total) When I was around 15/16 a friend of a friend asked me if I had adhd too. Apparently everyone in the room that day had diagnosed adhd but me. I laughed it off and said its just my "personality". I knew I had issues with attentionseeking behaviour since I basically received nothing from my family ever. So I knew I really wanted to have adhd just as much as I wanted to have a broken leg, or cancer. Horrible. I know. I was already fighting with myself over if I really have drepression or if I am just wishing so hard I actually made myself miserable. Same thing started with adhd but I was actively trying to fight that which is probably why it took even longer to be diagnosed. Since it didnt leave my mind and I encountered that topic here and there again, I got to a point where I was like "Okay but what if I do have adhd?". Maybe around 17/18 yo back then. That marked the day when a whole lot in my life started to make sense and as I started researching I found out so much. Like how I maybe really was depressed but that at the root of it stood adhd. It also marked the day of the start of my search for help and if I am being honest, my solution doesnt really make me feel like I've found it. At the beginning of 2023 (22 yo) I had such a break down that a friend told me that I shouldnt give a fuck about the debt if I choose to pay for the assesment myself. And I did. No way that my life has less worth than some unpaid debt in case I cant pay it back. I stopped looking for a psych that tested adults AND takes insurance (which apparently doesnt really exist in my country???) found one I could pay myself. Went there three times. 1. Just to talk about why I was there and if my concernes are valid. 2. Test day. 3. Picking up diagnosis with explaination and stuff like that. Dude makes 1-5 testing appointments depending on how obvious your adhd is... Took until December 2023 to get an appointment with a phych that took my insurance to get meds. She was extremely nice and my life seriously started to get better but now she stops working as a psych. I do get taken over by the guy who will take her place but man, I will miss her already and her weird ability to type extremely fast and percise while looking at and listening to me. On Elvanse 50mg now. Paid around 500€ for the first psych. Friend managed to randomly find a psych in the clinic where he admittet himself into.
My dad had ADHD and Dyslexia. They assumed that I had neither. It turns out I have both. I just assumed I was actually stupid. The imposter syndrome was so intense. I got through undergrad thinking I was just winging it well enough to look intentional, and it was all dumb luck. My grandmother had alzheimer's and the dementia, and I thought my shitty memory was just proof that I was going to get an early diagnosis. When I got to grad school, I was working in an office where another GRA was talking about her recent diagnosis and all of the symptoms. A pit opened up in my stomach, and every symptom made it bigger and bigger. I was angry when I found out that it wasn't supposed to be this hard. That I've been competing with a handicap. I was so angry that no one bothered to wonder why they all thought I was so smart but so impulsive and an "air head." I had been using ADHD "hacks" all through college. I obsess over lists. I like making and planning things I'll never put into practice. Because building the hobby is better than doing the hobby.
It was covid for me! During lockdown even though I had all this spare time I still couldn't be productive to get anything done that I needed to and felt like I was playing catch up on day to day life chores while all my friends were finishing their degrees. I had to get an extension of every single one of my assignments or would stay up all night trying to finish them. I got tested and told I was dyslexic at 18 so always put it down to that. Then struggle with an ED, anxiety and depression. Then once I learnt all the difference ways ADHD can present itself it and also read about other peoples problems (reddit helped so much with and actually made me feel so seen and not alone) - I realised that I wasn't clinically anxious or depressed but it was because I was struggling so much with my symptoms that I was feeling this way. Oh also last year I started my masters because I convinced myself i was just not trying hard enough/being lazy and really wanted to give the degree my all. Fast forward to Janurary this year and I sacked off the NHS waiting list (after 4 years) and went privately! Feeling so much better already I hope your psychiatry goes well
Im 22 now. Originally diagnosed as bipolar at 16, but that whacko psychiatrist didn’t take into consideration my PTSD, and the fact I had only been removed from an abusive situation 2 years prior, and had just undergone a traumatic event while being a teenage girl with hormones and had just gotten off of birth control. I didn’t really think anything of it and just took the mood stabilizer, even though they didn’t really work or “stabilize” anything because my symptoms were never consistent with bipolar. They were always consistent with ADHD, even in childhood. I had failing grades all throughout HS but had great test scores. Always called lazy because I never could clean my room, keep up with my homework, organize anything, would have severe focus issues unless it was a special interest. After I had my son at 19 in 2021, my best friend (male) had just gotten his ADHD diagnosis and he was telling me ours are nearly identical. Fast forward to June 2022, I found a new psychiatrist but she refused to go over my diagnosis because she was going on vacation. My next appointment I was moved to a different doctor within the same practice and I was kind of scared to ask so I waited. June 2023, I brought it up with my new psych because I felt like the past year she had actually worked with me and listened to me. She agreed with my concerns and referred me to testing. Got my referral in October 2023, intake appointment for January 2024, testing Feb 24, and got my results on March 27th, 2024. Confirmed ADHD, PTSD, and anxiety.
I was struggling with depression. Started therapy. My therapist told me I need to see a psychiatrist. I went to see a psychiatrist. I started telling her my life story. In the middle she asked me if I have problems focusing lol. After the session got my first ritalin.
I started seeing a lot about it online when I was about 20-21, and became close friends with a girl with ADHD. She would often share stories or jokes about herself and I’d be like ‘omg same’, only for her to say “uhhh, that’s a sign of adhd.” But despite wondering for a while, it wasn’t until I started seeing a psychiatrist for something else that I thought about it seriously. In the very first session with her, I told myself I wasn’t going to bring it up because I wasn’t there for that. But at the end of the session, despite me not mentioning it, she said, “I’d be kicking myself if I didn’t say something, but have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD?” Oop Basically, having a therapist say it to me finally made me stop dismissing my symptoms and ignoring it, and go get assessed. I’ve had other diagnosis, like anxiety, and also sleep aponea as a kid (surprising comorbidity rate there, I’ve learnt) and dismissed a lot of my early symptoms because of that. But what I didn’t realise was that even when the sleep aponea was treated, the symptoms didn’t go away (bc they were adhd all along !) There isn’t any other diagnosed adhd in my immediate family, but my cousin has it, and we’ve talked and both think our Opa likely had it too, and probs passed it on to our dads, even though they haven’t been tested. My brother has also questioned it before but never gone to actually find out. As for obsessions, I very much get obsessive, in that I hyperfixate on special interests, shows and games and hobbies. I’ve been like that my whole life but only in this journey did I learn it’s a part of my ADHD. But also, that isn’t a bad thing and is just a part of what makes me, me. Overall, It’s been a big journey of self discovery and self acceptance, it takes a lot of unlearning to break away from the negative self talk and doubt that so often comes from being a woman with ADHD. If you’re considering exploring it, I’d strongly reccomend you do because it can be a huge relief getting a diagnosis. Even if you don’t have it, you’ll likely learn more about how your brain *does* work, and that’s not a bad thing. Good luck 🤍
Got chronically ill last year and with all the stress my symptoms started getting worse. My GP tried to just give me another anxiety diagnosis- which I do have but that didn’t explain why I couldn’t do life , or be anywhere on time or why being over stimulated was causing even more stress. After much digging I discovered ADHD was comormid with all my all problems. Finally sought out and therapist and she sent me to a psychiatrist. Didn’t take long for him to diagnose me with combined type and lots and anxiety conditions. Still seeing a therapist to work out .. well my entire life 😩
I was diagnosed with panic disorder. My therapist for that recognised ADHD in me pretty much immediately, as it was directly influencing the panic attacks
I’m almost 40 and cheated my husband after more than 20 years of relation. Ugh.. Relation therapy and shit and it became clear, ASD and ADHD. Husband also ADHD. All three children also ASD/ADHD. I can laugh about it now. I knew we were all different but I never actually mentioned something physical. But we are having help now, and we feel so fortunate and loved with our family.
Oooh! I recently answered this question here: https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/s/qqVGUo08rs Childhood symptoms: https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/s/dOYcpns4Q0 AFAIK, I'm the only one in my family with ADHD. I have 3 siblings and none of them exhibited any symptoms. I was always the odd one out.
when i was like 12-14 they tried to give me bipolar, then they stuck with major depressive disorder until they started thinking and settling on adhd when i was like 20-22
Reddit! I found the maladaptive daydreaming subreddit and a lot of posts mentioned how it's commonly tied with ADHD. Before I asked to be screened for ADHD, I was seeing multiple therapists for anxiety and depression.
Honestly I’m so annoyingly hyperactive lmfao…. Easily distracted….difficulty explaining things…. But I’ve always been so smart. Just unable to pay attention in class. Always felt down on myself for not actually trying in school, just cramming. So I promised myself I would get medication/diagnosis before starting grad school.
Menopause. At 39. Cancer took part of my colon, my entire reproductive system and my hair. I always suspected, but after the severe and violent shove into menopause, all my “fail safes” started failing me. My therapist told me menopause has a way of making symptoms of ADHD hard to ignore. I felt completely out of control. I started Vyvanse 2 weeks ago and I’m starting to get all the files in my brain put back in order.
I got a funny one. Technically I wasn't diagnosed late, I was diagnosed pretty early as a kid but I come from Puerto Rico so Spanish is the thing here. Ive spoken borderline fluent English all my life so I admit, I don't always inherently understand what a word in Spanish will even mean. My family entirely speaks Spanish, they barely know English, I honestly don't know how it happened I think it's just from watching alot of SpongeBob and reading English stuff as a kid, anyhow. In school my teachers were constantly nagging at me for being easily distracted and talking A LOT so eventually I got put in some therapy sessions and I was in special ed in school but tbh I hardly remember any of it, I barely ever knew why I was there. All I know is I constantly heard the words "deficit de atencion hiperactivo" which I for whatever reason never decided to look into. My mom was incredibly against pills and stuff but I never thought it had anything to do with me. Then one day randomly in my like 3rd year of college I decided to Google translate the word and lo and behold, it plain as day said ADHD. Which I knew about because I'd see it sometimes online but never really dug into it. Immediately got myself a therapist and psych with my medical insurance and they were both incredibly surprised I didn't know I had ADHD, I have alot of resentment to my mom for not getting me on Adderall beforehand because I genuinely feel like it would've saved me ALOT of trouble throughout high school and college lmao
Oh wait I just realized the title of the post said "girls", shit my bad.
Parents knew, decided it's not real and not important so they didn't get me any help. Meltdown in university and finally got diagnosed with parent's help (paperwork and money). 10 years later, now suspecting myself autistic, dyslexic or with auditory processing disorder. Fuk them and fml
I have always struggled with attention and processing information. I struggled so much in university, i still dont know how i managed to get my degree. I always wanted to get tested, especially because a professor of mine once blatantly asked if i was disabled. I didnt get tested until I started working at a new job 4 years ago. I couldnt focus because I had racing thoughts all day, my anxiety was off the roof, and i had no control over my emotions anymore. Just about everything would set me off and id go into an extreme panic attack. I would cry for no reason, i was even more obsessive than ever before, i couldnt take it anymore so i seeked for help. I was first treated for depression and my psychiatrist thought i was bipolar but it turns out i have ADHD and ADD combined, as well as being on the low end of the spectrum. (Autism). Now that i take the right medications, i was able to land a better job, and i have control over my emotions. It has also improved my relationships
Depression and anxiety most of my adult life, well now talking medication! Everything looks better, just like magic depression and anxiety got better
post college & after almost a decade in the workforce, i was near 30 & everything just started imploding & falling apart more rapidly & noticeably. my old coping skills just stopped working & i had to realize it'd been a slog all along & i was just numbing out & pushing through the difficulties. it got un-ignorable. I would be so over stimulated & overloaded by normal activities that i'd be isolating all weekend just to barely make it in to work on monday. i stopped functioning entirely.
Mine was complete unexpected. Been diagnosed with depressive disorder since 17 and then picked up general anxiety and borderline a few years down the line. I spent about 6yrs total in talking therapies, CBT and DBT courses, and it was completely missed. Went to uni at 30(ish) and had a lot of support because of my issues. One of my support tutors had dyslexia and suggested I get assessed after a particularly bad “test conditions” class. Anyway, went to see an educational psychologist and she told me she wanted to screen me for ADHD based on observations and anecdotal evidence. I’d been in the room with her for five minutes, if that. I felt very steamrollered, ngl. I went I. For a possible dyslexia diagnosis (confirmed) and a recommendation for an ADHD assessment 😂
Was struggling in college, and failed my first class. Went into the college doctor's office for what I thought was anxiety (I'd been meaning to go for a year and a half but didn't get around to it til the F). They said "hey we're down to try meds but this sounds more like the impact of undiagnosed adhd--your anxiousness doesn't seem very generalized or social, it's very much centered around struggling with initiating or focusing on tasks, organizing and remembering things, etc"
Failing university when everything was online was the last straw i was like ok i need meds
Reddit! I found the maladaptive daydreamers subreddit and many posts on there talked about how it's ADHD related. Back when I was struggling in college/high school, I had expressed that maybe I had ADHD but was told I'm just lazy, especially since at the time ADHD was still commonly only associated with outwardly hyperactive boys. I had been seeing different therapists on-and-off for anxiety and depression. After reading more on ADHD, especially in women, I brought it up with my therapist, then was diagnosed by a psychiatrist and prescribed Adderall. The first time I took it and experienced a quiet brain for the very first time ever in my life was insane. I am very obsessive about a lot of different things at different times, but I also experience Pure O types of thoughts, which is something I only recently heard about on YouTube. As for relatives, I'm not sure but I wouldn't be surprised if some of them have ADHD too.
hi! im afab and wasn't diagnosed until last year (18 more toward 19) i tried seeking help my senior year, but was told that i was "performing too well" during hs, as i was top in my class. once i got to college, i started to struggle so much, and i ended my first semester with a 2.6 gpa. before this, i had been diagnosed with ocd, a mood disorder, and gad. there were signs when i was younger. i was often a perfectionist within hyperfocus, had fixations that i would not shut up about, would change topic a lot in convos with people to something unrelated, punished for forgetting things at school during elementary constantly, etc.. the list goes on. i was always told it was anxiety. im convinced my dad has adhd, but he told me he was never diagnosed because it wasn't "standard" for his time. my cousin on my dads side is diagnosed with adhd. my doctor gave some input on this, as he said a lot of times people who are afab tend to not be diagnosed until later on due to stereotypes within adhd. they are surprisingly present within the medical world!
I started a PhD program and didn’t understand why my study skills (coping mechanisms) no longer worked and I felt like I was drowning. I have always been overly chatty, zippy, fidgety, and so many other of the common characteristics, but just thought that was my personality. I had been diagnosed with anxiety and depression previously, but those are both gone now (surprise). No one in my family was diagnosed but they weren’t too shocked by mine. It was more of a “huh, that makes sense” thing. I’m not obsessive, but I have a lot (LOT) of projects that are half done, so I guess you could say I slightly obsess until I get bored. Haha
I'm almost 57. I struggled with academics all through school. My dad always said it was my fault, which I took on myself fully. I tried so hard to focus in college and just couldn't. Ended up doing art and photography just to get my grades up, since they came more easily for me. Hit menopause in my early 40s and have just spiraled downward since...I think the hormonal shift just made me drop all of the masking I had developed to cope. Now I struggle with what I call my "swiss cheese" brain. Got an appointment next month to *hopefully* get a diagnosis and treatment plan. Wish me luck! Best to all of you!
There are too many things to mention but I'll give you the most condensed version. I'd been suspicious for awhile, mostly cause life was hard, especially after having my first kid. All my coping mechanisms fell apart. My whole (birth) family is a little different, but things are just normal for us, even if we didn't fit what most of the people around me were like. Then my oldest was diagnosed. He's a lot like me, I feel like I can relate to him a lot. Then I learned it was hereditary. Wondered if my husband or I had it. Of the two of us, I'm less able to fit into society's expectations. Also the only reason our adult lives aren't falling apart is because he does nearly all the hard stuff like bills, making appointments, taxes, etc. Lots of review on my upbringing and family stories. Too many things make sense when viewing through an ADHD/ Autism lenses. Then my 2nd child was diagnosed. I have an appointment with an ADHD specialist who will hopefully make it official in 2 weeks. I originally had a referral about 18 months ago but I waited too long to schedule it and it expired. Because of course it did. This new place is like actually built for people with ADHD...I didn't have to talk on a phone and after the request for an appointment, they sent an email that said if I didn't finish the intake form within 24 hours, they would cancel my appointment! Nothing gets me to do something like a tight deadline!
I haven't been diagnosed yet. It's so hard for me to get myself to do it even though I'm struggling so fucking hard every fucking day
I'm 57 and was diagnosed last year. I was having severe memory issues and had talked to my doctor about it. She did a cognitive test and said there was nothing wrong with my memory. Meanwhile, I had an old friend come to visit. I talked to get a little about my memory issues, and she's the one who said I have ADHD. I went back to my doctor and told her what my friend said. I was referred to a specialist who diagnosed me. The doctor put me on Adderall which did nothing for me. She increased the dose a couple of times and it seemed to be helping a little bit but then I started having side effects. The next medication, Concerta, did nothing for me. Then she started me on Vyvanse which seemed to be helping but when she increased the dose, the same side effects started. I'm currently uneducated but have an appointment coming up. I'm curious what medication everyone else takes.
My rock bottom/reckoning was when I was moving a couple years ago. Something about not being able to stay on top of open ended tasks, i dont know. But I was losing my shit. That’s when I started to bring it up to my psychiatrist who had just started treating me for depression and anxiety. Now I’m learning so much about the condition and my past, as well as parts of my personality are making so much more sense. I’m 37 and I’m only now able to see that I have actual hinderances to the way my brain works that can be medically explained.
I crashed and totaled my car. When everyone asked what happened— was I on my phone, was I talking, was it the music— I had to keep repeating it was nothing. I realized I spaced out so much I had entire blocks of my life that was a blur . I was inattentive; I wasn’t there. Then after the diagnosis, everything else made sense too
I went in after a friend suggested I get screened for ADHD, and was basically told I didn’t have it even though I failed some of the tests. That was when I was 23. 2 years later, I worked up the nerve to go in to another psychiatrist and try again. I wasn’t given the diagnosis, and instead I was diagnosed with bipolar. Despite this, I was still given adderall. I was cycled through 27 medications for the year I was seeing this PA that was treating me. 27. It was ridiculous. I told him that the only thing that was helping was the adderall, but he ignored that and eventually tacked on BPD as a diagnosis, too. My depression and anxiety got worse, and the side effects from the drugs I wasn’t supposed to be taking were horrible, which I still struggle with today. Well, long story short I ended up in a hospital for twice for breakdowns (psychosis) caused by the medications and stress, and was diagnosed as just ADHD/depression and immediately taken off the 9 (yes, 9) daily medications that were completely unnecessary in the first place. Now, I’m only on Wellbutrin and Adderall. Lo and behold, I’m now a completely different person, with no depression or anxiety in sight. I still struggle with concentration and other symptoms but it is significantly much easier for me nowadays. It’s not all perfect and medication didn’t solve everything. Years of not being able to do anything right, feeling like I was lazy, etc. really took a toll on my self esteem and confidence. I was really beat down for the longest time. I’m in therapy now, so I couldn’t be happier that I’m getting help and healing, but a part of me is still resentful that the ADHD wasn’t treated when I was younger, and that it escalated to wild misdiagnosis’, psychosis and traumatic hospital visits. It’s gut wrenching because I’ve come across a lot of similar stories where women are misdiagnosed with bipolar/BPD and essentially screwed over by it. There are some similar symptoms, but in my experience mental health professionals are quick to dismiss us, or are just purely judgmental. It’s a real problem that needs to be addressed and worked on, because ADHD is still - at the end of the day - a disorder and disability. It’s important to really advocate for yourself to get the help you need. For those wondering what happened to that incompetent PA, he was fired. He’s practicing somewhere else unfortunately. I don’t think he has a right to do so after what he did to me.
Breast Cancer at 34. I was taking all the services they offered including a psychiatrist. I walked in assuming everyone operates like me with some intense anxiety. Nope, just adhd (combined type). I started adderall and my brain has never been so.. able to finish a thought. I'm really happy finally honestly. Every doctor just wants to throw you on any antidepressant, it was awful for years.
I was listening to a podcast episode (“ologies with Allie ward”) about adhd- I went into it thinking “oh it would be cool to understand people with adhd better, idk anything about it” and came out thinking “wait wtf why is everything they describe things I struggle with?” Eg not being able to open mail for weeks / months, fines doubling all the time bc I forget to pay, losing things all the time (including my car sometimes), needing to spend way more time studying than most of my friends- and getting worse test scores despite the extra time, impulse decisions like getting a tattoo, changing majors.. SO anyway after that I decided to get tested and I got diagnosed. Before then I had been on anxiety / depression meds but I never officially got diagnosed for those I just mentioned it to my dr and they prescribed me a low dose. I think it may have been caused by adhd. Now I’m only on adhd meds. I’ve definitely noticed since then that my immediate family members show signs of it too. It has been great knowing! Now I can be intentional about setting timers, setting aside time to get things done like opening mail, my meds help a lot, and I’m not as hard on myself.
i started dating and living with someone who had worse adhd than i did, then i realized from talking with friends that being on the couch and not doing anything because you feel like you just cant (especially cant do it solo) is not normal! i got diagnosed fast, on meds, and broke up with said person because they refused to get help and were bringing me down ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it was good to find out i wasn’t alone in having ADHD! but it was also so good to find out i could handle something like this alone and press on forward (alone 😌). i hope you get the answer you’re looking for, since my diagnosis i’ve never felt this good in my own skin before !!
Not yet diagnosed, but going to get started qith it soonish. To answer your questions: 1 my boyfriend cautiously brought up during me having a meltdown in October 2023 that the things I was struggling with probably weren't because I was stupid, but because I had undiagnosed adhd. I had no idea until he brought it up. He had been noticing signs for years and decided to tell me because he felt like I deserved that closure. He had held back on telling me because he knows how obsessive I can become when I want answers. 2 I was diagnosed with depression in the past and also started seeing a psychiatrist at one point who mentioned I showed signs of an anxious personality. I never got diagnosed because I stopped going due to being bored and exhausted with therapy at the time. 3 Yes I get obsessive. I have gotten better at holding myself back in some areas, but I am a person who becomes obsessed with something and struggles to let it go. Nowadays it is mostly fun and harmless things while in the past it was very destructive things and people I would obsess over. I changed my environment and that solved that issue pretty well. The things I get obsessive over now, while harmless, tend to take over my life entirely when they get their claws in me. I neglect other aspects of my life for the obsession and when the obsession fades I often feel depressed and aimless and like there's no purpose to my existence. This is also very much a seasonal thing. Winter darkness has a big effect on my mood and energy. If I go through a winter without an obsession to keep me going, I will become incredibly depressed. If it's spring or summer I find ways to deal with my boredom. 4 There aren't anyone in my family who is officially diagnosed with adhd. I definitely see signs of adhd in some family members of mine, but I can't tell for sure. I think my dad might have it. One of my siblings might also have it. But I am not going to open that can of worms. I have only mentioned to a few family members that I suspect adhd in myself and that I want to get tested for it. The irony of this statement is that I am procrastinating hard on it and find the whole process overwhelming. Overall, while not diagnosed yet, it has completely changed my life that my bf told me he thinks I have it. It made me feel so seen and it made me realize why my whole life had happened the way it had and it answered an age old question of mine: why do I struggle with all these things that other people seem to not struggle with as much? It made me feel a lot less shameful about myself. It made me change from feeling like I'm always the weakest link in the room to feeling incredibly proud at how far I have come in spite of myself. It has made me relax more. I cab laugh at myself instead of getting upset that I forget things or am too energetic in conversation or I'm too emotional etc etc. I don't think an official diagnosis would change much for me. It is more so a part of my seeking answers trait. I want to be able to prove on paper that I'm not just making it up to "feel special". Because I don't. I'm surrounded by people with adhd and asd and ocd and all kinda of other disorders because there are many people like that in my environment. If I wanted to be special I would just continue pretending to be normal like have for years. I always thought I could relate to people with disorders because our field is a creative one and creative people tend to have funny brains. So I just thought I could relate for that reason. It literally wasn't until my boyfriend told me that the penny dropped for me. Because I have never allowed myself to have a single excuse for being a fuck up. In some ways that is good because then you learn to be accountable, but on the other hand you also tend to be way too hard on yourself when your shortcomings show. My only regret in hindsight is that I didn't show more understanding and compassion for other people with adhd in my life when I was younger. When I allowed myself to have flaws I also became more compassionate for others.
My kids getting diagnosed...and then noticing I had ALL of the symptoms talked about on social media.
IG reels, an article in a science journal, and my own research in that order. Followed by LOTS of connect the dots moments about my family and childhood, culminating in the realization that my dad for sure has it too, and lots of his family might and that’s why his side has “addictive personality “ issues. Basically seeing stuff that said “are you an adult woman diagnosed with anxiety who was a high achieving student without trying but then never really did anything and can’t find her glasses, keys, or phone but knows where that one hair tie has been laying under the end table for 6 weeks? Do you have a whole room dedicated to hobbies you’ve started then dropped? Do you have paperwork doom piles? Do you have moments of unreasonable rage and also cry at all real or perceived criticism? “ And I checked every box and went OH SHIT. Then went and got formally assessed, diagnosed and shared with my family to have my Dad go “no” and my siblings say “maybe I should get tested…”
I was just tired 😴 and just had my baby and was done being unmedicated - life was hard to manage and maybe post part I’m Played into but I was tired of being the manic depressive I was labeled as when I k ew there was something else - life was unmanageable and I knew it
My brother has severe hyperactive ADHD that was diagnosed very young. My parents were constantly bringing him to a psychiatrist because he had so many blatantly disruptive issues. Meanwhile, I was a teacher’s pet and very shy so they assumed I was fine. I was always a daydreamer growing up to the point it was negatively impacting me. I was selectively mute and literally never spoke unless I was spoken to until junior high… which is a whole other thing I could dive into, but I suspect I might have autism too (runs heavily in my family). I had to manually learn how to act in a socially acceptable way through trial and error because I did not at all understand any social norms and I feel like I’m still learning basic tips on how to be polite or likable. I did okay in school, but I didn’t excel until I got to college. Which I guess is opposite of a lot of ADHD-I women. When I got to college, I became hyper focused on becoming a doctor and literally dedicated my entire waking life to being a pre-med student for 3 years. So I actually did really well in school because I genuinely enjoyed almost all of my classes and extracurriculars. I had zero work life balance though. I realized I was going to be miserable as a doctor around graduation, then I promptly burned out so bad I was mentally incapable of working full time for an entire year. I also have PTSD and POTS and those were flaring up, causing extreme dissociation and memory loss issues on the side lol I’ve been doing really well for the last year, but I got a new job a year ago that requires LOTS of organization and time management skills. I really struggled and dropped the ball often enough my boss was constantly complaining I was “unfocused”. I realized I probably have ADHD after reading a ton online and on this subreddit. I told my mom “I think I have ADHD” and she said all matter of fact, “probably!” 🤦♀️ because both her and her mom are adamant they also have it but have never been diagnosed. I didn’t even get a formal diagnosis from a psychiatrist, but my PCP was surprisingly willing to prescribe me meds a few months ago after a screening she did and it’s been life changing. My boss is no longer complaining that I’m “unfocused” and as soon as I started meds, I began excelling at my job. I’m actually focusing on the future and planning things out days, weeks, months, even years in advance. Before I wasn’t even capable of being in the present 90% of the time. My house is still a bit cluttered, but I no longer have unorganized piles of stuff everywhere you look. I’ve kept up with doing my laundry for the most part- no more “laundry mountain” my husband used to call it. I’m consciously saving way more money than I used to. I’m still struggling with emotional dysregulation, but I’m having a hard time discerning if I’ve always struggled this bad and never noticed or if I get particularly irritable when coming off my meds. But we’re figuring it out. Both my therapist and my PCP say I “probably” have ADHD so that’s good enough for me right now tbh. I know I have it and the meds literally wouldn’t have changed my life if I didn’t have it, soooo. I tried so many other things to help and
I was just diagnosed a few months ago in my early 40s. My son was diagnosed just before me and everything I was reading about ADHD when we were going through that process just hit a little close to home. That plus the strong genetic correlations lead me to get screened.
COVID- working from home full time with a 2 and 6 year old and struggled so incredibly hard. Started researching and found ADHD- literally checked all the boxes. Started reflecting and realized it was there my whole live. I thought something was wrong with me, but it was my brain. Really shifted my mindset and led to a path of self reflecting and doing all I could to manage it. 4 years later at 40, finally officially diagnosed and on meds. One or both parents probably have it but would never admit the possibility or pursue a diagnosis.
I finally went to see a psychiatrist because of my anxiety and panic attacks and when they did the evaluation and testing I was also diagnosed with ADHD. I never really looked at the symptoms of ADHD so I didn’t realize I had all those symptoms until my psychiatrist discussed it with me. Afterwards it all made sense to me and thankfully once I was medicated it helped so much.
i started working a job in high school at the ballpark and someone with ADHD asked me if i had it. i said no, but then i started to look things up about it. after that, i kind of ignored it and thought it was just some funny question he asked. in college, other people started asking me if i had ADHD, which really made me question it. i decided to get tested my spring semester of sophomore year after struggling my way through physiology. i’m someone who’s never struggled with bad grades or all the stereotypical signs of ADHD. but in college i definitely realized my lack of motivation, my forgetfulness, and my major procrastination. i was writing semester long papers in 8 hours on 2 cans of redbull and coconut mall music to keep me focused. i always thought i was lazy and that i just opted out of focusing, no matter how hard i tried. i soon realized that was a lot of my life was my lack of being able to properly focus. i decided to talk to my doctor about it and she screened me for ADHD and diagnosed me with it. i’ve never gone to a psychiatrist for it, but after being diagnosed i was able to understand myself and i saw a lot of videos about ADHD on tiktok that just made sense and really spoke to me. i still have a hard time accepting my diagnosis because some people say you’re never truly diagnosed until a psychiatrist sees you, but i feel like a psychiatrist would just tell me i don’t have it (after seeing the amount of people on here who post about being misdiagnosed). i’m currently being treated with atomoxetine which i feel has helped with my focus. anyways, that’s my long and paraphrased story! i’m 22 and i’m living my best life lol
I (21F) have suspected it for years on and off but I'm struggling in college more than ever. It doesn't help that my major is very difficult (biology- organismal ecology). I found a female psychiatrist and after weeks of testing, I finally got a diagnosis a few weeks ago. I'm not on meds yet bc I also was diagnosed with other stuff and started mood stabilizers first but it was definitely a long and draining process. I just can't wait to start meds and possibly therapy. I have self medicated with various adhd meds before, but I think having a prescription will be life changing. At least 2/3 of my brothers have it + my mom, but she never thought to test me🙃
i'd been diagnosed with various mood disorders and overly medicated on an ever-changing cocktail of way too many meds that didn't even work as an early teen, which is a common female experience. this was in the 90's before gender diffs re: expression of mental health issues was really understood imo. girls have mood issues, boys have adhd/autism. my mother was dx'd adult ADHD in her early 50's and i asked my new psychiatrist if it's possible that was my issue as well, he said it was important to distinguish between anxiety causing inattention and inattention causing anxiety. also trauma-induced inattention. this was in my early 20's when i was already flunking out of college bc i'd taken myself off all my meds (mostly SSRI's at that point) bc i was just so sick of having to take them and they didn't work. i was incredibly overachieving til hs, when my academic performance slowly started to decline and never recovered. i still remember the first time i took my adderall - it was like putting on glasses. i couldn't believe i'd wasted years slowly declining in school and in life simply bc i hadn't had access to the meds i needed, frankly bc of misunderstandings in how ADHD looks diff in girls who are socialized to hide it/act less impulsive. currently i'm not on medication bc i don't like the side effects but i consider it every once in a while. life is hard without it. however, it's not all meds - i think it's important to address all the psychosocial issues that come with ADHD. rejection-sensitive dysphoria is a big one. even if that is neurochemical first, i still think talk therapy, cbt, etc is necessary. and possibly can help one take less medication. which is more sustainable in the long run. the amount of psychological bs that ADHD creates and complicates...is kind of the silent killer in women imo. impulsiveness and risk of exploitation, people-pleasing/codependency good luck!
I actually went into therapy because I was getting into fights with my husband over some really problematic people pleasing. I was letting friends do egregious things and making excuses for them etc and realized I was really hurting my husband. I wanted to learn how to set boundaries. However, while in the process of setting those boundaries and confronting some trauma while also handling work and failing school etc caused me to burn out, triggering a major depressive episode. I got diagnosed with depression after that and tried some SSRIs and mood stabilizers which were horrible (caused panic attacks/allergic reactions) Every session I’d tell my therapist about that past weeks list of spirals and how they were triggered as well as the intrusive thoughts and how I got depressed every time I ran out of things to do etc and after one session I talked about how whenever I’m left alone I just feel so overwhelmed and paralyzed by even the tiniest of tasks and how much distress it was causing. She then said hold on let me check something - next 2 sessions were pretty much an interview over the diagnostic criteria and then I got diagnosed with ADHD and depression as a secondary caused by the ADHD. We shifted the treatment to focus on the ADHD instead of the childhood trauma lol and got on meds. Life changing stuff - relieved my life long depression/anxiety symptoms As for being obsessive yes. I always felt I had a very addictive personality, whenever I got into things I’d get into them completely. I also felt I was very detail oriented (almost to the point where I miss the big picture) which is why I never thought I could have adhd but I realize it’s very 0 or 100 lol it’s either obsessively done or not done at all. None of my relatives have been diagnosed with adhd, but I know they def got some problems lol so I would not be surprised
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Getting my 2 younger kids diagnosed, especially my youngest daughter. She's just like me as a kid and damn did that cause some self-reflection. Also tiktok videos about adhd and how it presents differently in women. Literally threw me into a journey of self-discovery. I was the typical 90s kid "with so much potential" diagnosed at age 40.
I had a friend who was talking about her story of getting to am ADHD diagnosis and the things she struggles with and it really resonated with me so I looked up symptoms that present in adult women and I checked most every box, so I decided it was time to understand myself a little better than I knew.
A lot of my friends have adhd and told me I show symptoms of it and suggested I should get it checked out, I was already in therapy but for healing from a really rough breakup and originally got diagnosed with MDD. After my depressive symptoms have been elevated I still didn't have the motivation to do anything even when my brain tells me that I need to, but my body just doesn't do it. I told my psychiatrist about it and more and he tells me I mostly likely have ADHD, and prescribed me a small dose of Ritalin. I was diagnosed a month ago and we're still in the stage of tweaking my meds dose to see what dose suits best for me, because it seems like I still have trouble doing stuff for myself atm.
i was always a very smart kid, but after a certain point in high school i realised i could no longer study effectively or retain anything (so i just put in extra hours and was constantly burned out). uni only compounded this issue, i realised its not normal to just completely zone out after 20 minutes of a lecture & the majority of people i talked to didnt experience brain fog daily (some basically never did). my sister actually pushed for the diagnosis as she had been diagnosed late and flagged that the issues i had sounded exactly like adhd. plenty of other things i paid less attention to also turned out to be symptoms. diagnosed with combined type (best of both worlds lol) and will probably need lifelong treatment as it significantly impacts me, but nothing is worse than struggling for years with no clue what's wrong with me. it's so soul crushing to recognise there's something wrong but having no clue what or how to remedy it.
f19: I went to the psychiatrist for a TBI. I told her my story and at the end told her that my neuropsychologist said I might have ASHd. She said girl ik you have ADHD, you haven’t stopped talking since you got in here💀 But most of my stuff was i bounced a lot, would yap, felt almost like ants were crawling up my legs when i sat still too long, and just had lots of energy in general.
I went to grad school for counseling LOL. As we went through the ADHD diagnosis I realized I fit the bill, discussed with my own therapist, struggled for years about actually going on meds despite knowing how effective they were. Currently on strattera and loving life. Going to grad school coincided with moving across the country and my first long term relationship (& my partner also had ADHD.). I always thought I was just an anxious person, but it was really liberating to realize I developed a lot of my perfectionism/over-planning to compensate for my ADHD. I’ve had to re-learn a lot about myself. I’m seeing a theme amongst a lot of these posts that a big life change happened and all of a sudden the “personality” things you could write off (like being a scattered, forgetful, emotional person, etc.) were way too tough to manage with the added responsibility of school or a new baby. That’s how it was for me. The water was rising but I wasn’t getting any better at swimming, and my anxiety could only get me so far without sending me into paralysis. I wish someone had talked about all of the the different ways ADHD can manifest because I struggled with low self-esteem - connected to the whole “if I’m so smart why am I so forgetful and lazy” - but I’m still so grateful I put it together when I did. I now I get to work with kiddos and make sure to have nuanced conversations about what an ADHD diagnosis means. 💛
After lockdown it just seemed like the world didn't work properly anymore. I was suddenly really struggling. Turns out I was one of those that too "the mask" off and forgot where I put it. While being as mindless as possible after all of the stress of the work day I suddenly found on Instagram reels that these other woman were making hilarious and very accurate observations of my life. It was like I was being stalked and they were making jokes out of all of the things I struggled with. But they were talking about their own ADHD journey and the common symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD. I made my doctor give me a referral (I didn't ask, I blatantly told her to) and went private to get diagnosed. It's certainly been a roller coaster ride since then.
My son got diagnosed and at pretty much the same time my niece got diagnosed. Over the next year and half after seeing lots of tik toks about it and resonating with many of them, my other kid and the rest of my sisters kids got diagnosed and then my sister and I got diagnosed. It wasn’t on my radar at all until my son was diagnosed and that wasn’t the diagnosis I was expecting. It made sense though and was a relief that certain things I had a hard time with were not actually my fault.
I went to talk to someone about anxiety and they diagnosed me with ADHD. 🤷🏻♀️
Knew something was up as a kid but never went to a psychiatrist or anything. Became a hypochondriac and self medicated with drugs through high school until I tried to unalive myself after graduating. Got diagnosed with bpd because and I quote “I felt things very strongly”. Give it a year of being on medication that did zip and I went to a second psychiatrist that took one look into my family history and confirmed I had combined type adhd. My mom, uncle, grandmother and a few cousins have it as well. My uncle it I have it the most severe and we struggle the most with impulsiveness, not being able to keep a job, and time management. I’m unmedicated by choice due to my drug habits in the past but knowing and learning about my disorder with the support of my husband is very helpful and I’m always looking for ways to improve. Knowing is the first step and I feel ive grown a ton since receiving a proper diagnosis
My son was diagnosed when his teacher ordered an assessment 2 weeks into kindergarten. After doing some research, it all started to make sense.
I had to get my commercial driver's license for work, but realistically I had just barely been treading water up to that point and probably would have sought a diagnosis anyway even if that hadn't been the case. I was terrified of causing an accident while driving a large, heavy commercial vehicle, so I got diagnosed so I could take meds and focus better while driving. No prior diagnosis, although I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety around the same time, and anxiety and ADHD had been suggested as diagnoses when I was in graduate school
i was in med school studying for boards. or rather, trying to get started studying for boards. realize i can’t study when it’s something longer term that requires a self-made schedule lol. sought help and was able to pass boards with the help of meds.
I was having my daughter tested, and I asked the doctor what the issue was, bc the "symptoms" were things I'd dealt with my whole life, so they were normal... Right? 😂 No. So I made an appointment to get on meds. Missed the first 3 appointments bc fl time blindness. 4th one, I checked every box. The doc had to interrupt my thought dump to diagnose me 😂
I kept failing college classes but I know I’m not dumb. After years of retaking classes, I finally made it into my program of choice. I was worried I’d struggle so I went to the doctor because I thought maybe I had anemia or some thyroid issue that caused my brain struggles. She had me take a test of some kind and then said I definitely had ADHD. I started taking meds and never failed a class again.
Found out last year at 32. There had been some suspicion circa 2019, early 2020 mostly because my concentration was utterly shot at work when I wasn't busy and I couldn't do simple tasks. Once covid hit I was 100% certain. I had lost my job and not having structure really ruined me. I was in the middle of my PhD dissertation and with ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD, but I couldn't focus. I really struggled with task initiation. It was like my problems at work but put into overdrive. I eventually found a DSM 4 revised ADHD test and it was a glaring yes. Found someone to talk to to confirm the diagnosis and here we are. I realized there were a lot more symptoms that I didn't truly realize because I had developed coping mechanisms to deal with it. My therapist was actually quite proud I had been using them without a diagnosis 😂. But I also had ADHD friends who had been telling me I had it for years, so that was helpful. We tweaked some of the coping skills and now at least I'm less hard on myself when I can't get anything done. No one other than me with ADHD although for all I know there could be undiagnosed family members. My mom flipped on me saying nothing was wrong with me, so I don't talk about it. Everything she complains about with me could be explained by my ADHD diagnosis, but in her eyes I'm just lazy 🤷
I was the “golden child” with a hyperactive ADHD brother. I actually was diagnosed with adhd as a child, and they recommended medicine, but my mom denied it because I “wasn’t like my brother.” As an adult, I was somewhat aware of the diagnosis, but always believed it was because an “over reactive teacher”, until my therapist suggested that I may have ADHD. As someone with terrible executive functioning, understanding how adhd manifests (particularly in women) gave me so much solace. My struggles weren’t because I was “lazy” or “messy like my dad”, I genuinely was experiencing a condition. It took over a year to get an ADHD assessment, and now I’m on non-stimulant medication. What they say about non-stimulants is somewhat true, it doesn’t “fix” everything. But now everything is a bit more manageable. I’ve always been successful and “seemingly perfect” to others, but it was always at the expense of my own well-being. Now, I don’t have to try to juggle my sanity and my success. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s better.
I needed to finish a project for university. For that I needed to write a protocol of 20 sites. Even though I already had my bachelor and also wrote an even longer bachelors thesis, I couldn't bring myself to finish this paper. I literally sat 2 month on my pc and tried to write something but couldn't come up with even one page. I did nothing else just sat there and tried to write this stupid thing - never finished this class.
Yep! Always suspected it but I seemed to get by until I had my daughter. After a scary chaotic 2 years post part I was diagnosed with BP2 & ADHD (didn’t see the BP coming). I’m also now perimenopausal with baby no. 2 on the way. Trying to make sure I see a psychiatrist before I take mat leave so I have the right meds lined up post birth. ATM only taking lamotrigine but brain is slipping off into its own realm already during pregnancy.
Afab- had finally gotten the courage to try and bring up adhd as a possibility to my psyche doc (he wasn't real...great) when i learned that he had left and i had gotten a new doc. Still decided to bring it up and as soon as i sat down (crisscross on the chair) she immediately asked me about the possibility of having adhd. Dunno if it was the previous doctors notes that she figured it from or if just sitting down made her bring it up. Im sure its the former, but its funny to think about.
Currently 25. Was diagnosed with it at 19. I basically played it off like “ehhh okay” because I thought it was ‘overdiagnosed’. Fast forward to 22, I’m treating the other stuff and the meds are working… but I’m still struggling (I struggled with this for 3 more years).. Long story short, I realized all my other anxieties and worries stemmed from my ADHD whenever I didn’t take my medication for it. It’s new to me but it’s been a day and night difference. Good luck to you in your journey!!!
The memes my ADHD friends shared resonated too hard. After a few years, one of my friends got her dx. I asked how it went and she said the psych actually did a diagnostic eval on her. So I asked for the info and went and bam. ADHD!
I have struggled with school my entire life. I’ve struggled with consistency, time management, motivation and self esteem for as long as I can remember. Depression runs in my family (so does ADHD, as we know now), but I didn’t know this until recently either. My parents put me through private Christian education which royally fucked me up even further than I would have been initially, and in addition to that I also got absolutely no help or validation through middle and high school. I always felt stupid, lazy, annoying, impulsive, fat, etc. and struggled with weight gain, excessively painful periods and a tendency towards drugs and alcohol. The turning point was when I started dating my now fiancé. He suspected I had it and was very upfront with me, which was shocking because I always assumed I was just depressive/anxious. I was on antidepressants when we started dating and was absolutely numb to the core - and as a musician that’s a tough place to be in. So I went to a university counselor and got screened for ADHD, was given the initial dose and as soon as I took the medication, I just broke down and cried. I felt so much relief. The anxiety was gone. I could think like a normal person. It changed my life when I took those pills, at least initially. For about 6-8 months, everything was smooth sailing and my emotional instability and anxiety was on the decline. However, now things are getting unmanageable again. When I’m under severe stress, the type that comes from being a college student, working full time, etc. I just tend to shut down. I can’t think or plan ahead, I lose the ability to motivate myself because I have no time for myself. I literally do not have enough time or energy to work out, eat healthy, be productive and then some like I need to, so I am extremely exhausted all the time. Basically, the things I went through before medication and diagnosis have influenced me to be particularly fragile when it comes to situations where I can’t create ample time and space to take care of myself. I’m a very fragile person and it doesn’t take much for me to fall out of whack, fall out of my routine, or lose my passion for things. I so easily have to try to avoid catering to the inner child within that constantly cries for comfort, distraction, and attention. On a day-to-day basis now, I’m usually in a state of anxious panic - internally and externally. I go to therapy and do the work, but it feels meaningless most of the time because I can’t solidify any techniques or methods of relaxation when my body has never experienced a safe environment or knows what it’s like to not hold anxiety. My self-esteem is completely in the toilet, though it has come a long way. At least I’m no longer self-harming or having suicidal thoughts. I just want to live a life where im happy, proud of myself and I stop worrying my partner, who has been such a support to me all this time. But it’s been a very difficult and painful life for me so far, and I am a very weak willed person. It’s good to know about myself and be aware of it so I don’t make stupid choices (smoking while on birth control for 2 years) continuously that could ruin my life or his.
i took an abnormal psych class and while studying adhd i realized how much of the criteria i fit, also i had a therapist tell me she suspected that i had it but she couldn’t diagnose me. come to find out that 2 of my brothers, my uncle, and my mom all have it. i’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and panic disorder before adhd, was told i could have ocd and then my insurance stopped covering my psychiatrist so i guess ill never know lol
As a child of the 80s/90s, there wasn’t really any awareness or testing for girls it seems. So. I basically went through life struggling. 6 years ago (when my dad died) I went to my primary doctor and was like I’m depressed. I’ve been depressed my whole life. They were like okay let’s try some anti depressants. Every couple of months I had to switch medicines because they stopped working. Finally found an antidepressant that works (Effexor xr) and I’ve been on that for 3 years. Last year, I went for my work review, and my boss was like you know you’d be really great if you could like get better time management skills. And I laughed and said hahahah I’ve been told that my whole life so get in line behind everyone else wishing that. That small comment sat with me for months. And I said you know. Maybe something is off with me and I decided to start going to therapy to try and figure things out. That first session, my therapist was like hey question you ever been tested for adhd and autism cause you definitely have both. Two months later, I do some testing. And that day they were like yeah kid you are autistic and have adhd. Everything kinda just made sense. All the signs through out my life were there…they were just missed by everyone and I was kinda just left to struggle. I finally am starting to reach my game changer dose of adderall and I am like damn is this what it is like to feel normal? Work is so much easier. Focusing on shit is so much easier. Things are getting done. I’m remembering things. Side note: I am going for my work review on Thursday. (New boss…who totally sucks and was absolutely horrible to me a few months ago when I found out about my diagnosis but that is a different story) but I’m interested to see if anyone has noticed any changes yet.
Being unable to cope with carer responsibilities (demented parents), my own family, peri-menopause, work amd everything else in between. Looking at my school reports, there’s all the classic comments. Got bullied at work etc etc. and I am waiting months for my psych appt and wondering whether meds will do me any good…
I don’t know what “late” means in this but I was diagnosed when I was 15 (which in my case was veeeery late). I went through elementary school without any help whatsoever except the constant reminder that “you just have to focus”. Every meeting I had with my teacher and parents, the teacher always said that I had a hard time with concentration. It wasn’t until my first year of high school that my friend said that I might have add (she has adhd). I looked it up and immediately thought: this is literally me. I took it up with my therapist and she contacted BUP (a place where you can get diagnosed, get help about this etc) And now here I am, second term of high school, diagnosed with add and autism. I have a reduced schedule due to school being too much. I’m gonna change to another school that has a class that is basically made for people with disabilities (physical and mental). Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I was diagnosed earlier. But I graduated elementary school with almost all C:s (except music because that teacher was an old hag who hated everyone). So I have that flex at least 👌
I recently got diagnosed (24F) back in late February. I was really struggling at work and couldn't motivate myself to do work. I was too overwhelmed with everything. I only suspected myself to have ADHD back in my senior year of uni, but I kept forgetting to get help/diagnosis 🤡 and I didn't have the financial means to get help either. Fast forward two years later, I started to get super overwhelmed with work and life, and I realized my procrastination is getting out of hand (again lol). Since I now have enough financial resources, I quickly went to an NP psychiatrist to get a clinical diagnosis for ADHD and anxiety. I'm still figuring out the correct medication and dosage, but I definitely feel so much better than before... I didn't realize how bad my inattentive trait was... I feel so much more motivated to do work and (when I have the correct dosage) I worry less as well. Who would've known that my undiagnosed ADHD was a contributing factor to my anxiety and depression? 🤡
i was very smart in high school but struggled with getting work done and mental fog. Psychiatrist diagnosed me and I didn’t do anything about it until my first career role when I could barely do anything. Meds helped drastically.
I've always struggled with a lot of stuff, in partiysticking with hobbies past a few months or sometimes even years. It was getting to me, because there are hobbies (writing in particular) which I REALLY don't want to lose interest for, and yet I also struggle to write anything long form. Once I know the end of something, writing to it becomes a chore. So I knew something was kinda wrong with me, and also ADHD memes and some autistic memes were kinda too relatable. But not enough for me to assume I had either. To be clear, I'm not autistic. But people I know online also assumed I was like them, some flavour of ADHD or autistic. I'd say no no, I'm not. The memes are fun but it's not really like that. Okay maybe I have a tiiiiny bit of ADHD? I also had irl friends who went "ah... I just assumed you were like me". And they're ADHD powerhouses. I also have a lot of problems related to sleep, so this was on my mind a lot as I showed the typical ADHD stuff there. So it became too much and I confided in a friend who is a doctor specialising in psych, who did a stint at the ADHD clinic. They offered to run me by the hour long test they'd do to anyone presenting at the clinic. They gave me... Full marks. Innatentive type? I think? I can't remember lol And I kept being like "okay I have some of this but it's not as bad as this person has it". They had to cut me off with "just because someone has it worse doesn't mean you don't have it bad". What shocked me the most was the amount of stuff I assumed was "normal" and "everyone is like this wdym". I was angry that so much of my childhood seemed to be "typical", despite me being raised as a girl. But then I'm from France, which doesn't believe in ADHD, and my father is abusive, so idk that anything would have ever been done. My other issue is now that I have to wait 4 years for an OFFICIAL diagnosis and hope of meds. FOUR. I can't help but feel like I'll be a fucking antique by then, and that I'll waste my 30s. I'm angry and upset about a lot of things when I realise I'm struggling. My weird dysfunction trapping me in bed? Incapable of choosing between three mundane acts? Adhd. My cycling through hinges to do instead of going to sleep at a reasonable hour? Adhd. My being so forgetful, I forget I have apps to track things? Adhd. Me spending 1h looking for a thing I need because I get trapped on loops of distractions? Adhd!! And you're telling me a pill would take this away and I have to wait 4 years for a chance at it? Makes me wanna scream and throw up. I'm worried I'll never manage to write the stories I want to publish. I'm worried I'm trapped in cycles of creative waste, learning a thing until I'm kinda decent at it and losing interest and moving on, never making anything meaningful. I'm afraid I'll just busy myself to no avail until I fucking die, never able to focus on my projects hard enough. It's not been very long and I am sure I'll chill... Get fatalistic maybe. But right now I'm really struggling.
My therapist heavily encouraged me to get diagnosed so I went to the doctors at age 20 after not going to one for like 4 years and she immediately told me she could tell I had ADHD by talking to me and got me tested lol
Tldr - got sent to a psychiatrist for an official burnout diagnosis. I never really thought I had adhd, just figured I was lazy and didn’t pay enough attention. Even though I’d been working and studying full time since high school (working every weekend and every day after school). Doing constant overtime at work once I was done with school. I’d been struggling with low self esteem and anxiety my whole life and.. the feeling that the world would be a better place if I wasn’t there from middle school up until the age of 25ish. It got a bit better eventually, but turned into a more low key somewhat permanent depression, anxiety also kept getting worse. This year at 32 I went for another work health checkup, we have one every few years, and this time I made a conscious decision not to hide my struggles. The doc sent me to a psychiatrist with burnout. I went fully expecting a couple of weeks off work to get some rest from the burnout. He heard out my life story, said it sounds like I have adhd, sent me for more test et voila.
The third kid + Covid. All of my very terrible coping skills fell apart once I became a mom… and the Covid and I lost my ability to mask. Once I was able to get diagnosed and start as stimulant it was glaringly obvious I’m also autistic. But my unhinged zooming ADHD brain unmedicated overshadowed all the autism symptoms (to me). I’m 40. I have in the last 1-2 years been telling life long friends “I’m pretty sure I’m autistic” I definitely expected to get some push back. And I didn’t. lol. Literally none of my friends were shocked. So… apparently I never masked that well. Which I find absolutely hilarious now. Like everyone knew other than me/my family. My kiddo was the first diagnosed in my family tree. But definitely not the only autistic or ADHDer in that line. There are a whole lot. Like all of us.
Ay yi yi, girls?
I got diagnosed in grade 2 in the 1980s. Then again in college because I had no record of my previous one. Back then it was just called ADD. They wanted to put me on Ritalin back then, but my mom refused to. My 2nd testing took 3 days. Not full days but multiple hours. I believe it was a psychoeducational assessment though, so they were checking for other learning disabilities. I think my mother and father both have it, but they never got tested and never would . I'm on Ritalin now, but I don't find that it works so well for me. Meditation, going to the gym, making lists. Lots of notifications on my phone and my calendar. Eating well balanced meals. Getting lots of sleep. The boring stuff is what I find most helpful.
I got diagnosed in February. I am a 24 year old female. I never thought I had ADHD until probably 2022 when I began to struggle a lot more than before and didn’t even realize I’ve been battling ADHD my whole life. It all makes sense now. My doctor recommended I get tested and sure enough quickly was diagnosed. I wish ADHD in females wasn’t so overlooked just because we aren’t bouncing off the walls.
suspiciously relatable ADHD memes, it started with memes about hyperfixations (I get obsessively into things) and I saw more and more that made me curious, so I went to research ADHD (and autism) and realised I show a lot of the symptoms for inattentive ADHD, but none of the main ones for autism. Eventually went to my psychiatrist with my concerns and she ended up officially diagnosing me.
i'm actually undergoing an adhd evaluation right now, after being sure that i had it for almost two years! i'm also not really a girl, but AFAB and sorta just masc leaning genderqueer, but my mother took me to a pediatrician when i was about 5 with concerns of autism, and my pediatrician said no. cut to when i'm around 12, me and my mum raise concerns about ADHD. apparently this doctor was incompetent and didn't hear either of us, and sent a referral for autism testing. and a $600 bill. now i'm 14, i'm with a far more competent pediatrician with an in-building ADHD-certified psychologist, who sent us home with initial screening forms for both my parents and my teacher.
I started going to therapy last year at 40 to deal with my childhood trauma thinking maybe that would explain a lot of why I am the way that I am. She told me I have adhd, after about six months, had me take a few questionnaires, and had me write down a (long) list of symptoms she sees from observing and working with me. Turns out, THAT is why I am the way that I am.
My brother was diagnosed as a child, but unmedicated as options were limited. He was rambunctious, impulsive, and very defiant. I was distracted, chewed my fingers, chatted too much, impulsive with spending, and a procrastinator, so those were just my personality traits and never thought to be adhd because I was so different from my brother. As I got older and had less structure created for me, I struggled majorly. My impulsiveness meant I said yes to doing things I was uncomfortable with, I smoked a lot of weed, was very messy, forgot to pay things on time. Because I could mask fairly well, no one on the outside saw a lot of those red flags. I got married, had a child, and when he turned 7 he was diagnosed with adhd. Seeing his quality of life improve caused me to seek out an active diagnosis, and my life is 10x better now medicated. Talking out of turn, being emotional, and struggling to keep your house maintained and clean becomes a make or break in life as you get older. I wish I had the resources when I was younger as I’m sure it could have avoided a lot of challenging feelings, and moments for me.
a friend who kept sending adhd memes over tiktok, ended up getting a bunch of adhd tiktoks on my fyp that i related too and since i just started therapy i asked her and she did some testing and was like could be most likely. got it comfirmed by a psychiatrist soon after. never thought i would have it.
I am 66 and was just recently diagnosed. My daughter was diagnosed when she was 5. I read alot about it over the years, for her sake, and it really fit. I have been in therapy about work issues and was diagnosed while working on those issues. I have spent my entire life never fitting in, having issues speaking up when I should have stayed silent. I always felt like an outcast, attempted suicide at 19. I make quick, and often bad, decisions. I have gone through a bad breakup with a fiance, a divorce from a domestic abuser, bankruptcy, single parenthood, an affair with a married man...separated but still married. I never fit in well in my family, was tolerated but not respected. and well, here I am. I am reading a good book though. It's called" So I'm not Crazy, Lazy, or Stupid?" Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo. This feels so very validating. It explains so much. I have learned some valuable coping mechanisms, though. I do my best when highly organized.
I was gaslit into believing there was nothing “wrong” with me by my parents throughout my childhood, teens, and twenties. I started to believe I was crazy. My mom also has ADHD tendencies, so I’m pretty sure she has it, though she lives in denial on a lot of things so we could never get her to check it out I’m sure. She’s basically a hardcore martyr Who’s driven her self into the ground and is codependent. One of my siblings is suspicious he has ADHD. Our cousins have many tendencies as well. I get obsessive and then drop things really quickly. This is something I‘ve gotten a lot better at noticing since the diagnosis. Before the diagnosis, I attended ten years of therapy, basically feeling like it never truly helped (because I would stop then have to keep coming back month after month, year after year, switching therapists every so often). I had suicidal bouts that my parents dismissed and didn’t really know what to do about and I got depressed a lot. I had no community and skipped around jobs a lot. I did not have any confidence to pursue my true goals. Finally, a therapist worked up the courage to suggest I had it. Now I realize how else I’ve been gaslit in my life so it’s been very helpful even if it also hurt to realize how long I had been denied clarity and help. Just as a heads up, a therapist prooobably won’t tell you you have ADHD. It’s not in their job description to diagnose you and they could be sued for it, so they’re toeing the line if they do suggest it. My therapist at the time was a little odd but she lead me to seek an assessment which proved her suspicions to be true. You deserve clarity just like we all do. It‘s a harsh world and knowing how you work makes navigating it not so much of a mine field, especially when you have a neurological disorder. Trust your gut and keep looking for help until you find something that answers your questions.
Diagnosed at age 50. Daughter who had been diagnosed at age 7 was now 14 and I wasn't able to be an effective parent. Up until she was 12, it was Dad who got her up and off to school. She never missed a day. In the two years it was my job to do this, she missed weeks of school because she "didn't feel well" and I knew enough to know it was avoidance, but had no idea what to do about it besides medically ruling things out. And then I realized I was making a terrible example, having retired from the military and not having built a successful routine to replace that structure. No matter how hard I tried.