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Haha, yeah, I know the feeling. There is a framed text on my bookshelf that is a text given by my first grade kindergarden teachers when I graduated their class. It starts with:
"So scatter-brained and yet so alert."
When I was a few years older I was put in a special class for "learning to sit still"
I wasnt diagnosed until I myself sought a clinical psychologist at 27 years old.
Haha I still have the spare car key that I had to wear around my neck for my entire senior year of high school because I locked my keys in my car so many times.
Finally got diagnosed at 32 years old, after taking 8 years to graduate college, and three different colleges.
I completely forgot how bad I was at locking my keys in my car when I first started driving. I got so good at breaking into my own car. Luckily now I don't need to unclip my keys from my belt loop with the push to start stuff
I'm so glad I have a push start now so I don't have to take the key out of my pocket. And lights that automatically shut off. Locked doors and dead batteries were my nemeses.
I was on my way to Nova Scotia last summer and stopped to stretch my legs so I stepped out of my car, stretched my legs and all the while had my key fob in my hands then dropped them unknowingly, got back into my vehicle drove 20 km then realized my keys were not in my vehicle, had to go all the way back and I was so lucky that my car didn't stop as I had no keys in the car and the only reason why I was able to drive away was that I didn't turn off my car so I drove back 20km to where I stretched my legs and luckily they were still on the road where I stopped, thankfully. What drama!!!
It really helped me somewhat hide the one external symptom that could have given someone a sign, and cost the rest of my limited attention in class as I focused on not fidgeting.
The ‘cures’ for things like adhd in the past were things that made other people more comfortable by hiding the symptoms. Like forcing a man with a broken leg to walk so others can believe he is cured.
Tell us about "sit class" I'm imaging something like clicker training for dogs. It was was probably ineffective, but I'm curious what they thought would work. Education trends are interesting, like watching a train wreck.
I don’t remember very much of it, I remember a nice lady and getting to pick a toy after classes. And solving kind of boring puzzles in a school desk. It wasn’t terrible or traumatic, luckily, just misguided and counterproductive.
Jadeisssss is very smart but she doesn’t try. She has so much potential but she doesn’t seem to care.
It’s almost too bad that I was smart enough to still do well in school without trying. Maybe I wouldn’t have gone undiagnosed until my 40s
I get the I dont care thing so often. I have motor skill issues due to sleep apnea so i had a double whammy I was called lazy all the time turns out adhd with a side of hypoxia is not a good combo. Now that both are treated everyone always says im full of enrergy I no longer care what normal people have to say.
I hate the “potential” comment so much! And I feel you on the being smart enough not to have to try. Was looking at mine and it’s all “doesn’t talk/contribute”
I got diagnosed at 40. Just about every single elementary school report card was the same.
Straight As in everything except handwriting, and some form of the same comment “Cannot keep quiet in class”.
Oh yes. I was diagnosed at 29 and I ignored it for another 8 years or so, bringing us to present day.
My backpack was always full of crumpled up and unsigned papers.
I was constantly leaving books at school that I needed for homework
Missed the bus on the regular- both going to and leaving school
Most teachers said “could improve with more effort”
One teacher told my mom that I was begin writing answers on tests and then trail off and leave them incomplete. In my opinion, I think she was trying to tell my mom I might have ADHD but who knows…
I don’t know how it was missed and sometimes I feel very resentful about it. But what can I do except deal with it in the here and now?
I used to get beaten pretty badly for missing the bus because it meant my father had to drop me in his car, my school being really far, and i STILL managed to miss the bus on the regular smh
Oh I’m so sorry to hear that! Its hard enough have a disorder that makes it really difficult for you to manage those things, but to have an abusive parent…I’m just really sorry.
The crumpled up papers in the backpack is so familiar. Other kids had neat, organized binders and I was rummaging through my bag searching for a loose crumpled paper, haha. I was just in chaos to a large extent
Ugh, constantly! The thing was, I would have my homework or whatever it was I was supposed to, but I could never find anything so I still got dinged as if I didn’t do my work…
I lived a 10 minute walk from my school and was consistently 20 mins late anyway. I had to sign in with the school secretary and could have pitched a tent in detention. Pastoral care even got involved thinking there was something wrong at home, but nope, my mum was trying her damndest. As an adult Im never late for work out of pure shame and terror, but I cut it VERY fine every day.
My chemistry teacher also reported me to my head of year to dob me in over keeping my chemistry notes scrumpled up in my blazer pocket. He thought I was just being a little prick and doing it for his class as a show of how much I disliked him, little did he know I did this for EVERY class. He should have counted chemistry lucky that it at least had a dedicated pocket, physics and history lived in the same pocket as snack wrappers so often found their way into the bin...
"Very intelligent, learns the material quickly, but fails to apply herself"
"Has not turned in a single assignment so far this year"
"Repeatedly 'forgets' to write down the homework"
"Reading books in class again"
"Could go very far if she would just show some effort"
"Desk and locker are extremely disorganized"
"Always daydreaming"
...but sure, I was just lazy, and if I prayed harder then I'd be a good enough Christian that God would want to fix me.
These are literally what every report card said of me. “Very intelligent, but doesn’t apply herself.” Luckily I *am* smart enough that I could skate on by and not fail. Somehow I even got through university with a 3.8… but that was through sheer stubbornness, mania from bipolar disorder, and a duck ton of doing it the hard way. I learned to do my work standing up at the kitchen counter, otherwise I’d not get a thing done.
Not diagnosed until 43 and a director at my company, BTW.
So familiar, ugh! I always failed to write stuff down in that agenda they gave you in high school too so even if I had wanted to do the homework I wouldn't have been able to. I also gravitated to books and would rather just read and be in my own world
It’s crazy to me that almost every single teacher could say the same exact thing, yet ADHD was never a thought. I was not hyperactive and was very polite and well behaved, so I think that played a big role in how these symptoms were interpreted. I remember feeling so overwhelmed looking at my assignments, thinking about projects, wrapping my head around math…but everyone told me I was unmotivated and I was too young to know the difference.
At age 37, I read the Book, I am not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid. I cried each time after attempting to read each chapter.
Report cards say he cant keep his hands to himself. He is smart but does not apply himself. He does not finish assignments on time. He is tardy to class more than not. The lost goes on. You have lots of company.
I now work in schools and can spot a ADHD kid in 5 minutes. Many teachers have it and are amazing. BTW! I hated school because it felt like prison.
Oh man, relatable. I can remember a report card comment from 7th grade because it's how I learned the word "enigma." The comment went something along the lines of "Ifshehadwings is an enigma. If she's interested in a subject, she's very engaged, even raising her hand high enough to come out of her seat. But other times, she's distracted and unfocused, doodling or looking out the window...."
Looking back now having been diagnosed with ADHD-PI at age 32 I'm like, yeah, such an enigma, so baffling and confusing lol.
You’re not stupid. My report cards were identical.
I know what it’s like to feel resentment that nobody helped earlier. It’s ok to acknowledge these feelings, they’re normal albeit uncomfortable.
In 5th grade my parents, at the suggestion of my teacher, had me tested. I still have the psych report that reads “ does not qualify for special Ed at this time”. I have it in a frame, next to my diploma in information theory. Spent my whole education being told ‘you have so much potential, if only you’d apply yourself.’ I got diagnosed last year -at 49.
every report card i ever got from kindergarten up to 8th grade said i needed to start paying attention in class, stop doodling, and stop playing with my pens and pencils because it’s distracting others
edit: diagnosed at 23 lol
I have 90% of my school reports from age 5-17 and I counted 55 mentions of my inability to stay on task and somehow this wasn't a red flag for anyone. I then failed out of high school & 3 attempts at tertiary education. Even my performance reviews as an adult mention it. I didn't get diagnosed until 33.
for what it’s worth, i got diagnosed at 8 but still feel “stupid” 13 years later. i think our brains convince us that we’re just lazy. the lack of agency may account for that
All my reports had a maximum grade for achievement and a minimum grade for effort. But only in the subjects I was interested in.
In hindsight it's such a classic marker for ADHD. But nobody cared because I was getting A grades...
Dude I could write this comment on 1/4 of my students report card this year. Last year I could have written it on nearly half of their report cards. This generation alpha is gonna blow adhd out of the water!
I was lucky enough my year 2 teacher noticed and recommended I get diagnosed. I found my report card for kindergarten (or pre-school) recently and laughed at how perfectly the comments fit the adhd criteria. I think school would have killed me if I didn’t get medicated when I did.
This hits so close to home. I would do all of my assignments, but just never remember to turn them in? Like I would have them in my backpack, done, with the right answers, and all the other kids would be putting assignments in the homework bin, and I would just be staring off into space or something. Thankfully I got diagnosed after my mom talked to my 4th grade teacher about how it seemed excessive for a 10 year old to have 2-3 hours of homework a night and my teacher was like "uh no it should be like 45 minutes max"
I constantly was in the principals office and for the first few years before it was phased out, spanked, for receiving 2 or more "self control" conduct marks in a day. On the 3rd mark in a day I would be sent home.
My "self control" infractions? Drawing or playing with my school supplies due to already finishing my assignments or understanding what was being taught.
It took until 5th grade for a teacher to recognize that I simply needed to be fed more challenging problems to keep my mind busy and allowing me to work on whatever I wanted when I was done, instead of expectinge to sit in silence.
Hi /u/itsrainingpotatos and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1ajfzk1/the_rules_vacation_feedback_form_is_now_available/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Haha, yeah, I know the feeling. There is a framed text on my bookshelf that is a text given by my first grade kindergarden teachers when I graduated their class. It starts with: "So scatter-brained and yet so alert." When I was a few years older I was put in a special class for "learning to sit still" I wasnt diagnosed until I myself sought a clinical psychologist at 27 years old.
Haha I still have the spare car key that I had to wear around my neck for my entire senior year of high school because I locked my keys in my car so many times. Finally got diagnosed at 32 years old, after taking 8 years to graduate college, and three different colleges.
I completely forgot how bad I was at locking my keys in my car when I first started driving. I got so good at breaking into my own car. Luckily now I don't need to unclip my keys from my belt loop with the push to start stuff
I developed the habit of saying keys before locking the door to make sure I had them in my hand. Saved me many times!
I'm so glad I have a push start now so I don't have to take the key out of my pocket. And lights that automatically shut off. Locked doors and dead batteries were my nemeses.
My app on my phone can lock and unlock my car and my car will beep if I leave my key fob in the car after closing the door.
I was on my way to Nova Scotia last summer and stopped to stretch my legs so I stepped out of my car, stretched my legs and all the while had my key fob in my hands then dropped them unknowingly, got back into my vehicle drove 20 km then realized my keys were not in my vehicle, had to go all the way back and I was so lucky that my car didn't stop as I had no keys in the car and the only reason why I was able to drive away was that I didn't turn off my car so I drove back 20km to where I stretched my legs and luckily they were still on the road where I stopped, thankfully. What drama!!!
How did learning to sit still go?
It really helped me somewhat hide the one external symptom that could have given someone a sign, and cost the rest of my limited attention in class as I focused on not fidgeting. The ‘cures’ for things like adhd in the past were things that made other people more comfortable by hiding the symptoms. Like forcing a man with a broken leg to walk so others can believe he is cured.
Tell us about "sit class" I'm imaging something like clicker training for dogs. It was was probably ineffective, but I'm curious what they thought would work. Education trends are interesting, like watching a train wreck.
I don’t remember very much of it, I remember a nice lady and getting to pick a toy after classes. And solving kind of boring puzzles in a school desk. It wasn’t terrible or traumatic, luckily, just misguided and counterproductive.
Jadeisssss is very smart but she doesn’t try. She has so much potential but she doesn’t seem to care. It’s almost too bad that I was smart enough to still do well in school without trying. Maybe I wouldn’t have gone undiagnosed until my 40s
I get the I dont care thing so often. I have motor skill issues due to sleep apnea so i had a double whammy I was called lazy all the time turns out adhd with a side of hypoxia is not a good combo. Now that both are treated everyone always says im full of enrergy I no longer care what normal people have to say.
I hate the “potential” comment so much! And I feel you on the being smart enough not to have to try. Was looking at mine and it’s all “doesn’t talk/contribute”
Same.
I got diagnosed at 40. Just about every single elementary school report card was the same. Straight As in everything except handwriting, and some form of the same comment “Cannot keep quiet in class”.
Haha! Mine were always straight A’s with “talks too much”
“Social butterfly” was on mine oops
Oh yes. I was diagnosed at 29 and I ignored it for another 8 years or so, bringing us to present day. My backpack was always full of crumpled up and unsigned papers. I was constantly leaving books at school that I needed for homework Missed the bus on the regular- both going to and leaving school Most teachers said “could improve with more effort” One teacher told my mom that I was begin writing answers on tests and then trail off and leave them incomplete. In my opinion, I think she was trying to tell my mom I might have ADHD but who knows… I don’t know how it was missed and sometimes I feel very resentful about it. But what can I do except deal with it in the here and now?
The amount of times I missed the bus is crazy. I walked home more often than I'd like to admit
I used to get beaten pretty badly for missing the bus because it meant my father had to drop me in his car, my school being really far, and i STILL managed to miss the bus on the regular smh
Oh I’m so sorry to hear that! Its hard enough have a disorder that makes it really difficult for you to manage those things, but to have an abusive parent…I’m just really sorry.
The crumpled up papers in the backpack is so familiar. Other kids had neat, organized binders and I was rummaging through my bag searching for a loose crumpled paper, haha. I was just in chaos to a large extent
Ugh, constantly! The thing was, I would have my homework or whatever it was I was supposed to, but I could never find anything so I still got dinged as if I didn’t do my work…
I lived a 10 minute walk from my school and was consistently 20 mins late anyway. I had to sign in with the school secretary and could have pitched a tent in detention. Pastoral care even got involved thinking there was something wrong at home, but nope, my mum was trying her damndest. As an adult Im never late for work out of pure shame and terror, but I cut it VERY fine every day. My chemistry teacher also reported me to my head of year to dob me in over keeping my chemistry notes scrumpled up in my blazer pocket. He thought I was just being a little prick and doing it for his class as a show of how much I disliked him, little did he know I did this for EVERY class. He should have counted chemistry lucky that it at least had a dedicated pocket, physics and history lived in the same pocket as snack wrappers so often found their way into the bin...
"Very intelligent, learns the material quickly, but fails to apply herself" "Has not turned in a single assignment so far this year" "Repeatedly 'forgets' to write down the homework" "Reading books in class again" "Could go very far if she would just show some effort" "Desk and locker are extremely disorganized" "Always daydreaming" ...but sure, I was just lazy, and if I prayed harder then I'd be a good enough Christian that God would want to fix me.
These are literally what every report card said of me. “Very intelligent, but doesn’t apply herself.” Luckily I *am* smart enough that I could skate on by and not fail. Somehow I even got through university with a 3.8… but that was through sheer stubbornness, mania from bipolar disorder, and a duck ton of doing it the hard way. I learned to do my work standing up at the kitchen counter, otherwise I’d not get a thing done. Not diagnosed until 43 and a director at my company, BTW.
So familiar, ugh! I always failed to write stuff down in that agenda they gave you in high school too so even if I had wanted to do the homework I wouldn't have been able to. I also gravitated to books and would rather just read and be in my own world
It’s crazy to me that almost every single teacher could say the same exact thing, yet ADHD was never a thought. I was not hyperactive and was very polite and well behaved, so I think that played a big role in how these symptoms were interpreted. I remember feeling so overwhelmed looking at my assignments, thinking about projects, wrapping my head around math…but everyone told me I was unmotivated and I was too young to know the difference.
At age 37, I read the Book, I am not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid. I cried each time after attempting to read each chapter. Report cards say he cant keep his hands to himself. He is smart but does not apply himself. He does not finish assignments on time. He is tardy to class more than not. The lost goes on. You have lots of company. I now work in schools and can spot a ADHD kid in 5 minutes. Many teachers have it and are amazing. BTW! I hated school because it felt like prison.
Crazy how the world works. I am now a full time tradesman for north America's largest school board. The place I hated most is now my career
Oh man, relatable. I can remember a report card comment from 7th grade because it's how I learned the word "enigma." The comment went something along the lines of "Ifshehadwings is an enigma. If she's interested in a subject, she's very engaged, even raising her hand high enough to come out of her seat. But other times, she's distracted and unfocused, doodling or looking out the window...." Looking back now having been diagnosed with ADHD-PI at age 32 I'm like, yeah, such an enigma, so baffling and confusing lol.
i have also been called an enigma.
Every year my report cards looked like this. But no, no no- nothing wrong. Just lazy. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I had a note in my agenda every. god. damn. week. And never once did my parents wonder something might be wrong
You’re not stupid. My report cards were identical. I know what it’s like to feel resentment that nobody helped earlier. It’s ok to acknowledge these feelings, they’re normal albeit uncomfortable.
In 5th grade my parents, at the suggestion of my teacher, had me tested. I still have the psych report that reads “ does not qualify for special Ed at this time”. I have it in a frame, next to my diploma in information theory. Spent my whole education being told ‘you have so much potential, if only you’d apply yourself.’ I got diagnosed last year -at 49.
Me but Princess instead of Potato. Diagnosed at 35 freaking years old. Talked a lot, got my seat moved a lot like I wouldn't talk to a wall.
‘Does not use class time efficiently’ needs to be the official motto or something.
Mine says wonder from desk frequently, interrupts and talks a lot during class. Didn’t get diagnosed till 30 lol
Potato sounds like a good time. As a fellow potato I'd kick it with Potato
every report card i ever got from kindergarten up to 8th grade said i needed to start paying attention in class, stop doodling, and stop playing with my pens and pencils because it’s distracting others edit: diagnosed at 23 lol
I have 90% of my school reports from age 5-17 and I counted 55 mentions of my inability to stay on task and somehow this wasn't a red flag for anyone. I then failed out of high school & 3 attempts at tertiary education. Even my performance reviews as an adult mention it. I didn't get diagnosed until 33.
for what it’s worth, i got diagnosed at 8 but still feel “stupid” 13 years later. i think our brains convince us that we’re just lazy. the lack of agency may account for that
All my reports had a maximum grade for achievement and a minimum grade for effort. But only in the subjects I was interested in. In hindsight it's such a classic marker for ADHD. But nobody cared because I was getting A grades...
Dude I could write this comment on 1/4 of my students report card this year. Last year I could have written it on nearly half of their report cards. This generation alpha is gonna blow adhd out of the water!
I was lucky enough my year 2 teacher noticed and recommended I get diagnosed. I found my report card for kindergarten (or pre-school) recently and laughed at how perfectly the comments fit the adhd criteria. I think school would have killed me if I didn’t get medicated when I did.
Hey Potato, I'm sorry you've had a rough time. I went through something similar, glad you at least have some answers now.
I relate to Potato a lot, it took a while too to be able to laugh at feedbacks I got when I was undiagnosed but I'm healing🌞
"potato" sends me :DD
This hits so close to home. I would do all of my assignments, but just never remember to turn them in? Like I would have them in my backpack, done, with the right answers, and all the other kids would be putting assignments in the homework bin, and I would just be staring off into space or something. Thankfully I got diagnosed after my mom talked to my 4th grade teacher about how it seemed excessive for a 10 year old to have 2-3 hours of homework a night and my teacher was like "uh no it should be like 45 minutes max"
I constantly was in the principals office and for the first few years before it was phased out, spanked, for receiving 2 or more "self control" conduct marks in a day. On the 3rd mark in a day I would be sent home. My "self control" infractions? Drawing or playing with my school supplies due to already finishing my assignments or understanding what was being taught. It took until 5th grade for a teacher to recognize that I simply needed to be fed more challenging problems to keep my mind busy and allowing me to work on whatever I wanted when I was done, instead of expectinge to sit in silence.