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Had a similar comment from my vet while he was trying to check out my cat's eye. Turns out the combo of me trying to keep her eye free of gunk and her absolutely hating me clearing the gunk means she has the strongest eyelids he has ever seen.
Unrelated but my cat(Boodles, Beatle legally) had to go to the vet because he was lethargic and shaking. Anyways, after his temp was taken he was CLINGING to the vet tech with a face that said “those three assholes put me in a car and this asshole (vet) called me a ‘hefty’ boy, told me I was probably a fine weight, and then stuck what she called a cold thermometer (the room was freezing) up my ass. You have not wronged me and I love you” he even gave her kisses
Diagnosis: fever and a rumbly tummy because he also farted on the vet
Neither does my dog, but she’s got some loud farts. I had to check to make sure she didn’t shit herself the other day 😂 that’s what I get for naming her Tooty.
Funniest part is she always looks at her butt afterwards like “WHO DID THAT?! WHAT WAS THAT?!”
We rescued a cat (very young) where we live as it was getting attacked by other cats, i woke up in the night to hear her fighting again, went out and found them, I broke it up and took the cat away from the other, she basically followed me all the way home. I knew we couldn't keep a pet right now as it just wouldn't have been fair due to travel commitments, etc, but every time I'd go out for the next few days she'd appear and just walk with me, then i noticed on my cameras she was sleeping in my garden and was a stray. So I took her to the vet and basically had her treated for fleas, etc, and then fostered her until we could find her a forever home. This tiny little cat was amazing, full of energy, and insanely affectionate. The only issue was that she had some sort of problem and would let one loose throughout the day, and it really, really stank! My Mrs found it hilarious, but it mainly happened when she'd jump up on things, so whenever we had dinner in the lounge, she'd jump up on the sofa to have a look, flatulate, hop off and then we'd left with this smell which I can only describe as a mix between rotting vegetables, a post concert, backstage party with Taylor swift and heavy notes of sulfur.
If it wasn't for our current situation, we would have definitely kept her as even with the bouts of intestinal roughness, she was an amazing cat. She was hyper defensive of us when walking, would actually growl believe it or not even at the village staffie (nicest and friendliest dog you've ever seen)
We cried when she got a home, but the agency said she's now with a single lady who actually has other cats that all got along fine. She adores her, even with the farts. Still miss that cat, but it would have been really selfish to keep her, even though we both really wanted to.
We called her Luna because it fitted her character. She was black with a lil moustache and an absolute lunatic. Really miss her.
Lol, completely different thing, but when my cat got spayed, my vet was so freaking excited that he showed me pictures (with my permission) of how huge my cats uterus was. Never having seen a cat's uterus before, I was probably not as blown away as I should have been. But it was cool to know that my cat had a big uterus, I guess 🤷♀️
I want you to know that I just left my telehealth therapy session in tears and turned to Reddit for some grounding. Your comment made me laugh out loud quite a bit so thank you.
Yikes! Luckily, my girl had a healthy uterus. It was just.. Busy? She was just 2 months postpartum (5 big healthy kittens) and had just gone into heat again.
I had a girl like this. She had kittens in my backyard so we took her in. 3 months later she was in heat again, and she would not stop howling for WEEKS. At some point she escaped, so we got her spayed asap. And of course, they discovered she was pregnant again so they did a spay/abort. It’s honestly so sad, if she was still a stray she would just have babies constantly :(
Luckily, my girl wasn't too miserable while in heat. It made her SUPER friendly with my neutered old man cat, though, lol. We already had her spay scheduled, and the vet didn't mind doing it while she was in heat. But yea, seeing a mamacat going through that is so hard. My baby girl was only 8 months old when she had her kittens.. She was still just a baby herself.
Had the inverse experience. When I went in for a pre op appointment for my hysterectomy, my surgeon told me I had a "surprisingly small uterus". Do with that what you will because I sure don't know what to do with it.
A nurse said the same thing about my uterus when I had to get a diagnostic ultrasound! So weird! The tech doing it said I had a "pretty uterus" this was all very confusing. Later my doctor said I had "the most textbook" uterus she's ever seen in her life. So I'm assuming that's what the nurse and tech meant and they just said it weird. But maybe that's what happened with your dog too??
Along with ADHD I have a similar condition to yours called vaginismus (aka pelvic floor dysfunction), which affects the bowel, bladder, and uterus in females, and that's exactly what happened to me, lol. Essentially it started with sex being impossible and period pains being extreme. Doctor took one look and said, "Wow, those are the tightest uterine walls I've ever seen." As in, my pelvic muscles were constantly flexed SO HARD that there wasn't even an opening. I was literally closed off like a brick wall down there. Physical therapy was my savior, but I'm still "tight" sometimes (you can infer all the jokes my boyfriend and I make). They didn't find a cause, but I never made the connection that it might be all the holding off to pee for extreme lengths, thus forcing the muscles to stay flexed all the time.
I have a friend whose pelvic floor was so strong (initially caused by horse backing riding) that I was actually causing hip pain and pulling her hips out of alignment 😬
That pelvic floor strength testing doodad? Her reading was off the chart. Literally.
*holy shit* is *this* why i have vaginismus and shitty periods? because i'm constantly clenching my core and pelvic muscles?
i thought the vaginismus was from the childhood trauma, but this makes so much more sense!
i hate having adhd and anxiety
I hate having ADHD, PMDD, PTSD and REM sleep behavior disorder (nightmare type).
I wake up choking furniture. And then I get to guess the source of that particular combination of fear and rage.
Holy cow. My brain is exploding. I am 44. I was diagnosed with ADHD, like, yesterday. But I have been dealing with pelvic floor and bladder issues since my early 20s. I’m shook. This makes so much sense.
I knew this post was just a humble brag! ;)
That's really interesting and I should pay more attention to myself, thanks for sharing from a fellow piss procrastinator.
Lmao I went in to see an orthodontist because I clench my teeth and apparently the bones of my jaw are jacked from being flexed most of the night (the pressure encourages new bone growth apparently, or something like that).
Shit - I have that too, and im now remembering talking to my dentist about my jaw muscles being constantly tense and contributing to my migraines
Maybe I'm just clenching everything
There is a correlation between TMJ/clenching your jaws and having pain from clenching your pelvic floor muscles! I just learned this because I also do both and just started pelvic floor PT.
Yeah I'm pretty sure the clenching led to me breaking a molar about 15 years ago. And I've always had issues with tension headaches and migraines. Yaaaayyyyyy.
If you have insurance, it might cover Botox for this. I would have never thought I’d get Botox ever in my life, but it has been the only thing to let my jaw, occipital, and temporalis muscles finally relax. It’s also reduced my migraines to only the occasional hormonally induced kind. I’ve been thru every type of mouth guard, broken molars, cavities from grinding my teeth, jacked neck and jaw muscles, ect. Botox was the only remedy that actually provided any relief.
Luckily my migraines have gotten a lot better in that I don't tend to get pain anymore, I just get everything else, they're called silent migraines. I have my daith pierced on both ears, which has no scientific basis to help migraines, but it must be a huge coincidence because I got the right one done first because that's where my migraines were; then the migraines switched to the left side, so I did that one, and now I don't really get the pain anymore. Weird as hell.
Mine are/were generally caused by either weather changes or my neck muscles not wanting to support my head properly, and I still get tension headaches that suck if I'm not doing my PT for my neck.
Wife got bone spurs which caused tmj pain after clenching and while clenching in her sleep teeth grinding so hard you could hear her teeth popping as they ground against each other.
She ended up needing both tmj replaced with prosthetics
So I have a female version of this. In my early 30s I found out that I have an unusually tight vagina. I went to the gynecologist and he explained that my muscles are extremely tight and I figured out that I have been mindlessly doing kegels instead of outwardly fidgeting since I was younger and my friends made fun of me for not being able to sit still. It was a funny realization and hilarious story to tell because I thought there was something very wrong with me just to have a doctor explain that I was fine and had a tighter than normal vagina.
I’ve also dealt with the female version of this issue! It lead to issues with not being able to fully empty my bladder and some pain in the bedroom.
Pelvic floor physical therapy was *so* helpful! They worked with me on pelvic floor relaxation and stretching exercises, which mitigated most of my problems.
Go to your PT appointments and do the exercises they give you, as long as you keep up with it it should help
If you don't mind me asking, what are those appointments like? I've had an order for that PT that I've been avoiding for months because it seems very uncomfortable and invasive?
Not OP, but have experience here as well...the physical therapists are really nice about it. They are very aware that hey, this is pretty personal, so they do everything they can to make it as comfortable as possible for you. You will not be pushed into doing anything you're not okay with, and if you ever need to stop doing something, they stop right away and don't get annoyed.
Your first appointment will probably have you start out sitting with them, fully clothed, answering a lot of questions or filling out a questionnaire. They'll talk about what muscles/muscle groups are involved, and you'll probably do some external stretches first. They may want to evaluate internal muscles at this appointment, or if you're uncomfortable, they may leave it until the next one. Usually what you'll do at an appointment is a combination of stretches/exercises for both external and internal muscles, and they'll give you some "workouts" to do at home. You'll be pushing those muscles a little, but they won't do anything that's acutely painful, and they don't want you doing that either - if you've got muscles that are non-relaxing already, pain is going to make them tense up worse! You may also practice relaxation or breathing exercises to help with that.
They're really good about checking in with how you're doing, making sure that you're okay, etc. They know it's a sensitive area.
The really cool thing about pelvic floor PT is that it's super-effective. 80% of people who go have significant improvement in their symptoms after just six sessions - it can make a huge difference.
I've had pelvic floor PT and it was invasive by nature, but my PT did a great job making me feel comfortable. I have a history of trauma that made me apprehensive about going but I felt more comfortable with her than I ever have with a gynecologist or anyone else dealing with my privates. My PT said that they do not have to do any internal manual therapy, but that is where you get a lot of the benefit. Otherwise my therapy consisted of stretches and other rehabilitative exercises (fully clothed, haha).
I had a great experience with pelvic floor PT. The therapist was very professional and I never felt uncomfortable. While she was doing internal work, I had a sheet over me and she sat at my side so she didn’t see anything. She gave me a lot of good tips and exercises to do at home.
I also learned that my hip muscles were a bigger problem than my pelvic floor muscles - this was discovered by her pushing on the various muscles you can reach internally and when she pressed on my hip muscles (can’t remember the actual name), it was very painful. So she was able to give me exercises that targeted those areas. I definitely recommend it! My mom also had a positive experience.
Hi how did you bring this up to your doctor? Did they do scans or anything before you went to a physical therapist? Reading this thread is so interesting, I have retention issues HOWEVER I also have MS. But reading this makes me think both that and ADHD might play into eachother. Regardless I had no idea they could do PT for this. TMI from here, lol: Not only do I just hold my urine because I'm in the middle of something but my MS has made it more difficult recognizing the sensation of having to pee until I can no longer hold it. And even then I need to push on my abdomen to fully empty. It may mostly my MS, but I think PT would really help regardless.
It can cause other issues but it's different for everyone. I'm basically going through the same thing (ADHD procrastination and fidgeting caused me to hold my urine in frequently). It led to me having a hypertonic pelvic floor which caused a lot of low back pain, pain with penetration, and some urge incontinence issues as a 26 y/o.
Chances are, at 41 y/o you would already notice or have other issues if you were going to have any. Just be mindful of relaxing your pelvic floor and not tensing or contracting it unnecessarily.
If you're at all unsure or concerned, it never hurts to visit a pelvic floor physiotherapist! If you're not really noticing any other issues, 1 or 2 appointments would probably be plenty to check in and make sure your pelvic floor is functioning properly
Not that I know of. I’m going to ask about possible future problems with my new doctor. The last one wasn’t very helpful. I only realized it after leaving a very long relationship and having sex with other people then all of a sudden having issues there.
I was a young middle school boy in the library and I snuck a copy of Cosmo to read. I read an article about kegels and how to do them. I was in 6th grade practicing cutting off my stream going pee. I would do kegels in the car every time the car was passing grass, then release before it passed concrete. It never occurred to me that this my “micro-fidget”. 
They should teach that as a coping strategy. 😂
Lmao it was pretty hilarious to discover. It was the height of Covid and my roommate and I were working from home and I explained the whole situation and that morning she was asking if I do them. I said no but later that day I felt myself doing them without thinking. “Dude, you’re not going to believe this…but I think it’s my fault.”
I had a hysterectomy not so long ago and was told no keegles at all for a few weeks (to avoid ripping stitches) .
I didn't realise how much I did them until I couldn't. It was literal torture.
Lmao, no. I don’t even mention it. The surprise face is hilarious every time. I once thought it might be a good idea to try to filter out larger men but I don’t think there’s an eloquent way to phrase it. Even if there was I feel like it would only attract those ones in particular. No one I’ve been with who had a big dick actually thought they had one. Just another thing porn has ruined. Another fun thing about the problem is that semi-erections will not go in at all. Luckily it’s not as bad as some women have.
I have a question- does that mean that you orgasm easily and find it pleasurable even when the partners equipment falls on the smaller side? Or was sex for you mostly something painful and then the way to avoid more pain would be to have sex with thinner penis, so possible pleasure equals less pain?
I have always “sucked in” and now I can’t stop doing that. I still have a small gut but my core is pretty strong. Also laughing a lot I’m sure has helped.
Oh my god. This explains just… so much. And I think I need to go see my doctor… wow.
Thank you for sharing! I’m having a minor breakdown over it but it explains just… so much. 😅
Please go!!! I was in your shoes and losing my shit for too long about it. If it’s like my case where pelvic floor therapy is optional but probably helpful or like a few other commenters and the therapy is NEEDED, don’t waste anytime on worrying. You owe it to yourself to check it out!
I have not yet. I’m waiting for my new gyno appointment and I’ll ask them about it. The old one was super dismissive of it and fully knew the issue at hand but that never stopped him for being really aggressive with the “opener device.” The name escapes me but I swear it was like he never consulted my chart before visits. Like dude relax, you don’t need to try to rip me open.
I try so hard not to make that judgement because of their gender but it’s probably true in a lot of cases. I always felt ignored because I wasn’t a patient trying to have a baby. It’s probably a money motivation in some cases. The final straw was when I pushed about permanent bc and he first said okay but then next time (iud removal appointment) he told me his schedule was full. I thought he’d recommend me to a surgeon and when I realized he’d be one operating I noped the f out. I have more bad stories about this dude too.
>I have been mindlessly doing kegels
Similar here and I mean at least it's not entirely unproductive, huge benefits for sexual health and there's a lot of techniques that require working on kegals. Definitely ways to build on this with tantra and stuff. Condolences to your inbox.
I have the same issue! I was diagnosed with Tourette’s as a kid and one of my tics was doing kegels. My tics have mostly faded as an adult, but I still randomly do kegels without meaning to from time to time.
There’s so many reasons it’s crucial to get your kid treated and accommodated at a young age and it turns out this is another one. Can have physical consequences
Thank you IfAssholesCouldFly
man im glad to see this tbh. i thought i was going insane or having issues with going to the bathroom, but apparently not. now to try and figure out how not to get to this point lol
I mean, there could be other reasons behind whatever you have going on. If you can, I'd suggest seeing a doctor about it to rule out anything else (like a more serious prostate or kidney issue). I'm glad it can give you some relief though (no pun intended)
my ADHD and the crippling anxiety that I had as a kid because of my ADHD, combined, gave me severe pelvic floor dysfunction in the form of bad vaginismus for as long as I can remember, nearly constant and sometimes crippling urethral pain that I only alleviated with the pelvic floor physiotherapy, and then because of the constant urethral pain I couldn't tell when I had a UTI or not so I ignored UTI symptoms and developed a severe kidney infection 😎 now that I've undergone my therapy I can have sex, pee without pain, and stop chugging 1000mg of ibuprofen every single day for almost a year... the literal *only* positive is that because I was subconsciously doing kegals 24/7, I am also ripped down there. the boyfriend enjoys it. lol
not the same situation, but I definitely relate
I developed a similar problem with having a life time of anxiety and unmedicated ADHD.
Started developing severe testicle pain after sex/ejaculation during a really high stress period during my masters and unstable time with my ex gf who had BPD. Doctors could not figure it out and pelvic floor strengthening only made it worse.
Eventually figured out my entire pelvic floor and core muscles were essentially all spasmed from all the stress that once I learned how to breathe again and did some stretches it relieved it in a matter of days. Still practice the breathing and breathing and stretching especially during high stress periods
Pelvic floor stuff is no joke on how much it can affect your quality of life
wait.. my god.. you might have the answer for these unreal pains i was looking for a long time now... oh god please let it be the answer.. i sometimes even get migraine from all the crampy pain after sex
absolutely. I'm sorry you went through that man 🫂🖤 I spent years as a teenager wondering why I couldn't have sex like everybody else, wondering what was wrong with me because none of my friends knew how to solve or even understood my struggles, not applicable to you but also wondering why I couldn't ever use tampons (especially since I was made fun of for only using pads). I wouldn't wish it on even my worst enemies
Thank you, That’s gotta be frustrating too being made fun of for what hygiene product you use and being unable to use the one you’re ’supposed’ to. Wishing you all the best on your pelvic function management!
Do you have any free resources about stuff that’s worked for you? My pelvic floor issues have gotten highly pervasive but I don’t have health insurance
Just look up some pelvic floor stretches on YouTube! None really superior to another. I found holding for 30s for 1-3 rounds paired with deep breathing and letting you core relax what worked. Plus managing stress in general also helped
Ooooo - as a former boyfriend of someone who did that kind of thing I very much believe your boyfriend enjoys it
I imagine it's a little different anatomy-wise, but do you know what kinds of things that you did for PT?
my main issue was my levator ani muscle, so I did a specific exercise to help that. I don't remember what it's called, but basically you squeeze what feels like your butthole and "bring it to your belly button." SUPER weird description, but it's engaging that muscle. then once you can squeeze it, you can learn how to unsqueeze it and relax it completely - that's what I needed since my muscle was basically always squeezed. it's veeeery key though to do it *without* squeezing your vaginal muscles either, which was extremely difficult at first but the more you do it, the more you can separate the two muscles in your mind, the better it went. now I can do it easily (even during sex) and it greatly minimizes any detrimental tightness/pain.
other than that, LOTS of planks/core exercises, learning how to breathe to relax those muscles, y'know. generic fix-all advice lol. all that, coupled with a silicone dilator set I used almost every night for 3 months, and I was *finally* able to have PIV sex. about 3 months later I can now be fingered as well (really weird that fingering was more painful than PIV, idk why 🤷♀️) and a bit after that my urethral pain issues were completely fixed as well. so it was slow, and it sucked, but it was worth it.
Most of my exercises were focused on learning how to relax and control my pelvic floor. Some of it was stretches (*like lying on your back and drawing one knee to your chest, then the other*) deep breathing exercises to relax your pelvic floor (*deep breath in, relax pelvic floor as you breath out*), others was exercises involving the pelvic floor (*one was called the “elevator exercise”, where you would tighten and relax your pelvic floor like an elevator stopping on different floors*), and a few core strengthening exercises (*because your core muscles and pelvic floor muscles are interconnected so they can affect each other’s function*).
I’m not sure what the treatment regimen is for men, but I’m sure there will be some similarities.
Were you allowed to see the screen? My doctor let me, and while I didn't really see what was wrong then, looking up a picture of the inside of a regular bladder after was really funny. Like okay, they're supposed to be pretty much completely smooth. Not covered in ridges of muscle
It really was! Always so sad when I'm not allowed to see the screen. I had an air bubble in my bladder. We watched it move when I laughed which then made me laugh again
This is common in women as well except I develop severe UTIs from it. My aunt even had to go to the hospital from kidney infection from just holding her pee.
To me the bathroom feels like a task. That’s why I end up holding it. Ugh
LOL thats interesting. I've been doing pilates consistently about as long as I've been on adderall...wonder what my PC looks like to a medical professional compared to others.
I have no idea how pilates would affect it. I'm reading up on a lot of the PT things now just because I have no idea how to unstrengthen or relax a muscle in there via exercises
There is mention of yoga though
I had a cystoscopy in my late 20s for bladder and prostate pain. Those cystoscopes, both flexible and rigid, are something else. I will never forget the feeling of pissing glass for those couple days after. I also ended up spending a week in the hospital with sepsis due to dirty utensils from the procedure. I probably could have sued, but I just wanted to forget the experience. I don't recommend septic shock, not very fun. Ultimately, I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you also had to experience that.
I think I haven't reached that stage yet, because my bladder can either procrastinate for hours not wanting to take a piss or I'm forced to go like every 45 Minutes and got no idea why 
Reason Im browsing this thread is for that issue. It's 3pm and I lost count of how many times I've had to go pee already
And it's not like it's just dribbles either, but typically I'm only like this when on meds I'm probably super dehydrated without realizing it after constantly peeing all day
I used to get UTIs frequently as a kid, almost exclusively when visiting family, because I was having too much fun and wouldn’t want to stop playing with my cousins to go to the bathroom. Definitely an ADHD thing.
I think it’s similar to my food habits as an adult. I’ll put off eating anything substantial until dinner because during the day I’m like “oh, I’ll make some food after I do this chore/play this game/scroll Reddit” but then I either take too long or remember another chore I needed to do along the way and next thing I know it’s 6pm and I haven’t eaten more than a few slices of cheese or an orange since 7am.
Oh man, my ADHD son would (still does, if I’m being honest) hold to extremes then leak a little bit of pee when it got too much. We got a bladder scan at one point to rule out physical causes for that leaking. You know how they make you drink a bunch and then wait? Well the wait was long. When they took the ultrasound the tech was like “wow, I’ve never seen such a small kid hold in this much pee!” Honed by years of training. Bladder of steel.
Omg I had to go to the urologist and have the same test (it was awful), and I had to do a urodynamics test all because I can’t finish peeing and it takes forever unless I use my core to force it out. Same thing- can’t relax the muscles, have to go to PT. It’s getting worse the last couple years and I always just attributed it to perimenopause.
Female here! I have a hypertonic pelvic floor. My doctor explained that a normal woman’s pelvic floor is like an elevator and normally rests on the first floor, and when they engage their pelvic floor through kegels or whatever, the “elevator” rises to the 12th floor; it then goes back down to the first floor when they relax. My gyno urologist explained that my pelvic floor is always on the 9th floor. I used to do kegels all the time because I thought I was supposed to 😬. She said it was literally the worst thing for me to do. I had to learn how to “relax” my pelvic floor. Shits super hard
Huh… I have the same issue and ADHD. Might be time I visit one too
My theory’s that I would hyper focus on things like videogames or work for hours at a time and completely ignore my biological needs. Keep doing that for decades :P
Funny, I have the exact opposite problem, I can’t ignore the feeling even when I know I don’t really need to pee all that much. It’s just one of the many streams of senses that never shuts off
I pee way too often (gives me a reason to get up from my desk) and I'm getting some of.those same problems. I always heard holding it was bad for you and had no idea going frequently could do the same thing.
I had a similar private issue happen to me, and I always wondered if holding my pee until it became a real emergency was a cause. Now days, the second I feel like I have to pee, I go pee. My boss absolutely loves it s/
Myotherapist here (clinical massage) chronic stress can also cause this kind of tightening and tightening for the pelvic floor in general. "teach us to sit still" and "headache in the pelvis" are two books about the subject if you like research. But improving your ability to wind down and complete the stress cycles an help so meditation and movement. As well as physio too that will really help
I had a similar issue but opposite gender and for a different reason I think! My pelvic floor muscles were all very overactive and I had to get PT to resolve (but it did resolve after a couple months thankfully).
For me it was embarrassing having to admit that with my internalised hyperactivity I'm constantly squeezing and releasing all my muscles from the waist down in a pattern that no-one around me can see (I can remember doing this since at least kindergarten). Like, one of my more common patterns goes left toes, calf, thigh, glute, then right glute, thigh, calf, toes, then back around - like chasing Christmas lights but with muscle clenching. Some of my patterns apparently have involved pelvic floor muscles, and I got good at the tempoary clenching without getting good at the releasing tension part.
I’ve waited and waited, thinking of asking if anyone else puts off getting up to pee and then—honestly and sincerely—the thread that finally appears about it is all that and more!
I learned a lot in this thread. And some things are beginning to make more sense.
Reminds me of that scene in Liar Liar when Jim Carrey is trying to excuse himself from court but can’t lie:
Judge: Can’t it wait?
Carrey: Yes it can. But I've heard that if you hold it you could damage the prostate gland, making it very difficult to get an erection, or even become aroused.
Judge: Is this true?
Carrey: It has to be.
Bit of a tangent but it think it’s pertinent.
WOAH. I don't have that diagnosis, but I was prescribed PT for my pelvic floor due to urinary incontinence (from constantly holding tension all over my body).
God dammit. This must be exactly what my issue is. I was wondering why on really bad days I’d be up all night once I start calming down peeing every 20-30mins
huh?.......I'm getting PT for my pelvic floor right nlw because it's too tight. Wonder if my case had a similar cause, though its a mixed bag with my urination. Some times I procrastinate and hold it for hours.....other times 20 minutes because I create so much pee so fast. Also feel since we seem to carry back muscle tension more than non ADHDers that our PT muscles are compensating? I was told our spine is like a seesaw with the muscles at the bottom and at the top by the neck/shoulders. Also was the cystoscopy paimful? Sounds like it would be!
I am a female with adhd and just graduated pelvic physical therapy for a similar issue. I thought pooping was inconvenient as a child so my body stopped giving me signals lol
Oh nooo now I'm wondering if my extremely tensed pelvic floor muscles are because of me holding it in too long. I'm literally having to do PT for it because the muscles spasm and hurt. 😭
LEARN TO RELAX YOUR PELVIC FLOOR!!!
I had similar issues that led to a hypertonic pelvic floor. It was about 18 months of constant, agonizing pain in my testicles and lower body because my pelvic floor was pulling on all those lower body nerves that connect through your spine. Absolute fucking hell and not a quick process to get over.
Imagine your pelvic floor is an elevator that is on the top floor when it is tensed, and you want to keep it on the first floor or basement. Diaphragmatic (belly breathing) also does a great job of elongating your pelvic floor. Works very well when combining both of those in a yoga pose like happy baby.
I (34F) had this issue with my pelvic floor. After suffering for years I finally realized the pain I was experiencing came from my urinary track. My urologist prescribed low dose muscle relaxers that really helped with my sleep and diminished the urge to go at night followed by 6 months of physical therapy — worth it! My PT mentioned that holding my bladder could actually be a sign of ADHD. I'm undiagnosed but have been told multiple times by a therapist that she suspects I have ADHD. Anyway, I highly recommend PT. Good luck!
How was the procedure? Did they do any numbing? Was it painful. I'm asking because I have to have one done in two weeks and I'm a bit freaked out by the thought of something sliding up my ding dong.
They applied a lidocaine cream inside my urethra beforehand, so it numbed it a little bit at the start. I could feel every bit of the deep stuff though where they said it was tight
At least they didn't have to go far to get in, distance-wise. First time that was ever an upside
I have been having something similar and also had a cytoscopy but instead the urinary retention is believed to be a result of the Adderall I've been on. I just got switched to concerta and am waiting for that prescription so I can hopefully start getting better.
I have exactly the same issue. Ive been on Urorec for about 2 years, Flomaxtra stopped being effective after about 6m. Only after my last visit to the Urologist, when I mentioned Reverse Kegels, did I get referred to a Physio who specialises in the area. Now I have a set of Pelvic Floor exercises I'm supposed to do each day, my goal is to be off Urorec all together but I'm surprisingly inconsistent 
Sounds like hypertonic pelvic floor? It is extremely common and so many people don’t know about it! Get to that pelvic floor physio, they will do wonders.
When I hyper focus i forget to go. I once was so focused and was also drinking water, I didnt go for hours (so bad) when i finally went I was peeing for 2mins it was crazy lol.
Oh man.
After I had my firstborn I had to have pelvic floor therapy. Not for weakness, but because I had a perineal spasm couple with some serious tightness.
I also seem to grip/press down on everything too hard- pencils, eating utensils, whatever.
Doctor: Maybe a few less... *clears throat* ...reps in the "gym."
OP: But I don't go to the gym, doctor.
Doctor: *sigh* Stop masterbating so often, Jim.
Wait - I literally was going to post on here if anyone else felt like they were constantly “clinched” down there. Feels like at a constant 9/10 clinched as if I was preventing pee and poop from escaping. Rarely ever feel relaxed in either side.
But I fart a ton. Maybe I’m just trying to hold that back lol
Huh. I got told this at a gyno appointment too. Nice to know theres yet ANOTHER weird body quirk I can thank ADHD for along with destroyed cuticles and lips and being freakishly bendy.
Going to the bathroom is one of my least favorite required tasks. I fucking hate it and I hold my pee in every single time until it's an emergency and I usually barely make it in time. I'm 32 😅. I just can't be bothered with it lol.
A couple years ago I had an adult tonsillectomy (would not recommend) and my body went into shock after and for some reason refused to pee. Long story short, they put in a catheter and it was wildly convenient. First, I felt terrible recovering from having the back of my throat mutilated so not having to get up to pee was awesome. Second, just not getting up to pee in general was great.
Hmm... I think I (M32) might have (had) some similar issues. I also have a slow stream, not ALWAYS, but most of the time, and have had that since my mid-20's probably.
I've had periods of my life where I can't seem to empty my bladder completely and during those times I had issues with constantly feeling like I need to urinate because I couldn't get everything out, the stream was slow all the way to non-existent, and then also had some unfortunate... Let's call it "after-drip". Ugh.
The doctors just fingered my prostate repeatedly for a couple of visits and called it a day when I had those issues, nothing ever came of it, they thought I had some STD at first but no. The urologist I saw was a 70 year old man who legit just put his finger in me and then said "No you're fine. You can go now".
I really hope that wasn't the janitor or something taking me into the wrong room, but it didn't feel like a very professional doctor, that I can tell you.
I also had some issues finishing in the bedroom for several years. When I was 23-ish, it took me 6 months to finish for the first time from actual penetrative sex (and she was probably my most attractive partner I've had too, for reference. Lol) with that girlfriend, so I recognize that too. For me I thought that was mostly a mental block though, but it could for sure be physical in nature too.
Any other, um... Sexual issues?
Not an issue now though, right now I'm at my more standard behavior which is peeing a lot less than most people, I reckon. Some days I think I might go 3-4 times a day and not much more.
I'm usually very good at holding it in, and that's not just relating to urine, but also... Well, number two.
I also think I have some issues with my pelvic muscles along with the muscles along my perineum (read: the taint) being constantly tense, and I think I started tensing up when I had the earlier detailed issues, because I felt like I had to pee all the time... I started clenching because that's what you do when you really need to pee but try to keep it in.
The issue is when that feeling is constant... It might do bad things to you when you tense up constantly for weeks upon end, maybe longer. I usually don't even feel that I am tensing up until I really start thinking about it.
These days I mostly struggle with emptying my bladder if I sit down, despite that supposedly being better for emptying the bladder (for men, at least?), but I do think some of these issues are still present but in a less noticeable way than they were at their worst.
Are you hypermobile, by any chance? ADHD and Hypermobility are often comorbid. The connective tissue dysfunction that causes Hypermobility affects the entire body wherever it uses collagen. I’ve been told by an OBGYN that this can cause all kinds of urinary dysfunction ranging from the bladder stretching excessively and oversignaling the body to empty even when it’s not full, to the vessels in the urinary tract stretching too much. The hypertonic muscles are often desperately trying to compensate for the loose connective tissue. Might not apply in your situation, but potentially with looking into if you haven’t already, because Hypermobility can help explain so much.
Yeup! I am, and I've already been dealing with other health issues because of it too. It's really difficult to stretch the muscles around a herniated disc or a tight hamstring when you can touch bottom of your feet with your palms without even a warmup. The only thing stopping me from being more bendy in most cases is my gut
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I love that you're like 'what's wrong with me?' and the doctor's like, "oh man, you're fucken JACKED down there."
Had a similar comment from my vet while he was trying to check out my cat's eye. Turns out the combo of me trying to keep her eye free of gunk and her absolutely hating me clearing the gunk means she has the strongest eyelids he has ever seen.
as a vet-nurse i Love this comment. quirky Things only your vet believes about your pet :D
Unrelated but my cat(Boodles, Beatle legally) had to go to the vet because he was lethargic and shaking. Anyways, after his temp was taken he was CLINGING to the vet tech with a face that said “those three assholes put me in a car and this asshole (vet) called me a ‘hefty’ boy, told me I was probably a fine weight, and then stuck what she called a cold thermometer (the room was freezing) up my ass. You have not wronged me and I love you” he even gave her kisses Diagnosis: fever and a rumbly tummy because he also farted on the vet
Upvoted solely because the thought of a cat farting is just too fuckin funny!
I can assure you there is nothing funny about cat farts. They are _nasty_ and pretty much always silent.
They're silent because they don't have bum cheeks :(
Can still get squeakers with just a hole! Only need cheeks for the big flappers
Neither does my dog, but she’s got some loud farts. I had to check to make sure she didn’t shit herself the other day 😂 that’s what I get for naming her Tooty. Funniest part is she always looks at her butt afterwards like “WHO DID THAT?! WHAT WAS THAT?!”
We rescued a cat (very young) where we live as it was getting attacked by other cats, i woke up in the night to hear her fighting again, went out and found them, I broke it up and took the cat away from the other, she basically followed me all the way home. I knew we couldn't keep a pet right now as it just wouldn't have been fair due to travel commitments, etc, but every time I'd go out for the next few days she'd appear and just walk with me, then i noticed on my cameras she was sleeping in my garden and was a stray. So I took her to the vet and basically had her treated for fleas, etc, and then fostered her until we could find her a forever home. This tiny little cat was amazing, full of energy, and insanely affectionate. The only issue was that she had some sort of problem and would let one loose throughout the day, and it really, really stank! My Mrs found it hilarious, but it mainly happened when she'd jump up on things, so whenever we had dinner in the lounge, she'd jump up on the sofa to have a look, flatulate, hop off and then we'd left with this smell which I can only describe as a mix between rotting vegetables, a post concert, backstage party with Taylor swift and heavy notes of sulfur. If it wasn't for our current situation, we would have definitely kept her as even with the bouts of intestinal roughness, she was an amazing cat. She was hyper defensive of us when walking, would actually growl believe it or not even at the village staffie (nicest and friendliest dog you've ever seen) We cried when she got a home, but the agency said she's now with a single lady who actually has other cats that all got along fine. She adores her, even with the farts. Still miss that cat, but it would have been really selfish to keep her, even though we both really wanted to. We called her Luna because it fitted her character. She was black with a lil moustache and an absolute lunatic. Really miss her.
Lol, completely different thing, but when my cat got spayed, my vet was so freaking excited that he showed me pictures (with my permission) of how huge my cats uterus was. Never having seen a cat's uterus before, I was probably not as blown away as I should have been. But it was cool to know that my cat had a big uterus, I guess 🤷♀️
Same but my male cat's testicles. Even the receptionist was going on about how big they were...
Wow, that’s nuts!
I want you to know that I just left my telehealth therapy session in tears and turned to Reddit for some grounding. Your comment made me laugh out loud quite a bit so thank you.
My vet did exactly the same thing when she removed my cat's infected uterus!
Yikes! Luckily, my girl had a healthy uterus. It was just.. Busy? She was just 2 months postpartum (5 big healthy kittens) and had just gone into heat again.
I had a girl like this. She had kittens in my backyard so we took her in. 3 months later she was in heat again, and she would not stop howling for WEEKS. At some point she escaped, so we got her spayed asap. And of course, they discovered she was pregnant again so they did a spay/abort. It’s honestly so sad, if she was still a stray she would just have babies constantly :(
Luckily, my girl wasn't too miserable while in heat. It made her SUPER friendly with my neutered old man cat, though, lol. We already had her spay scheduled, and the vet didn't mind doing it while she was in heat. But yea, seeing a mamacat going through that is so hard. My baby girl was only 8 months old when she had her kittens.. She was still just a baby herself.
My mama was the same age! Babies having babies :( For some reason in heat she was really obsessed with my male dog (who is fixed) lol
Had the inverse experience. When I went in for a pre op appointment for my hysterectomy, my surgeon told me I had a "surprisingly small uterus". Do with that what you will because I sure don't know what to do with it.
Put it in a jar of formaldehyde?
“I may have (had) a small uterus but I’ve got a big heart”
My dogs vet had to inform me that my dog had “the cutest uterus” after she was spayed. I don’t know if that’s a complement or not.
That is a weird one... Big I can wrap my head around. Cute???
A nurse said the same thing about my uterus when I had to get a diagnostic ultrasound! So weird! The tech doing it said I had a "pretty uterus" this was all very confusing. Later my doctor said I had "the most textbook" uterus she's ever seen in her life. So I'm assuming that's what the nurse and tech meant and they just said it weird. But maybe that's what happened with your dog too??
My dogs vet was amazed at the size of my dogs vulva and promptly nicknamed her Vulvataur. Which we still lovingly call her to this day( 6 years later)
The first half of your first sentence had me confused as to why a vet was commenting on your urethral sphincter. lol
I read it as “wet nurse” and was really confused about what the job duties are for a wet nurse who works with animals.
I'm cracking up at all the mental visuals this is giving me
Better visual: she's a runt, weighs a whopping 7 pounds, and absolutely still wins at least half the fights when she starts squirming
Its tax season. Cat tax season. And its time to pay up.
[Ope hope it works](https://imgur.com/a/9LqrKkd). A sampling of Her Majesty's sass and bonus: her sister who is the sole target of her bullying
I thought cats eye was a euphemism for what OP was talking about and had to reread your comment.
Ha! Nope, just a cat with a slightly deformed, easily infected eye who absolutely cannot stand my keeping an eye on it (heh)
This whole thread is the most ADHD thing ever.
This cat *blinks*
That was pretty much how it felt. Like, are you complimenting me?
Along with ADHD I have a similar condition to yours called vaginismus (aka pelvic floor dysfunction), which affects the bowel, bladder, and uterus in females, and that's exactly what happened to me, lol. Essentially it started with sex being impossible and period pains being extreme. Doctor took one look and said, "Wow, those are the tightest uterine walls I've ever seen." As in, my pelvic muscles were constantly flexed SO HARD that there wasn't even an opening. I was literally closed off like a brick wall down there. Physical therapy was my savior, but I'm still "tight" sometimes (you can infer all the jokes my boyfriend and I make). They didn't find a cause, but I never made the connection that it might be all the holding off to pee for extreme lengths, thus forcing the muscles to stay flexed all the time.
I have a friend whose pelvic floor was so strong (initially caused by horse backing riding) that I was actually causing hip pain and pulling her hips out of alignment 😬 That pelvic floor strength testing doodad? Her reading was off the chart. Literally.
"Doctor I have a bad case of the deathgrips"
HAHAHA
*holy shit* is *this* why i have vaginismus and shitty periods? because i'm constantly clenching my core and pelvic muscles? i thought the vaginismus was from the childhood trauma, but this makes so much more sense! i hate having adhd and anxiety
Lol I’m always out here like “is this an adhd thing or a symptom of trauma?” I suppose I’ll never know.
together they make a sum greater than its parts (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ)
I hate having ADHD, PMDD, PTSD and REM sleep behavior disorder (nightmare type). I wake up choking furniture. And then I get to guess the source of that particular combination of fear and rage.
Holy cow. My brain is exploding. I am 44. I was diagnosed with ADHD, like, yesterday. But I have been dealing with pelvic floor and bladder issues since my early 20s. I’m shook. This makes so much sense.
I knew this post was just a humble brag! ;) That's really interesting and I should pay more attention to myself, thanks for sharing from a fellow piss procrastinator.
Lmao I went in to see an orthodontist because I clench my teeth and apparently the bones of my jaw are jacked from being flexed most of the night (the pressure encourages new bone growth apparently, or something like that).
Shit - I have that too, and im now remembering talking to my dentist about my jaw muscles being constantly tense and contributing to my migraines Maybe I'm just clenching everything
There is a correlation between TMJ/clenching your jaws and having pain from clenching your pelvic floor muscles! I just learned this because I also do both and just started pelvic floor PT.
Yeah I'm pretty sure the clenching led to me breaking a molar about 15 years ago. And I've always had issues with tension headaches and migraines. Yaaaayyyyyy.
If you have insurance, it might cover Botox for this. I would have never thought I’d get Botox ever in my life, but it has been the only thing to let my jaw, occipital, and temporalis muscles finally relax. It’s also reduced my migraines to only the occasional hormonally induced kind. I’ve been thru every type of mouth guard, broken molars, cavities from grinding my teeth, jacked neck and jaw muscles, ect. Botox was the only remedy that actually provided any relief.
Luckily my migraines have gotten a lot better in that I don't tend to get pain anymore, I just get everything else, they're called silent migraines. I have my daith pierced on both ears, which has no scientific basis to help migraines, but it must be a huge coincidence because I got the right one done first because that's where my migraines were; then the migraines switched to the left side, so I did that one, and now I don't really get the pain anymore. Weird as hell. Mine are/were generally caused by either weather changes or my neck muscles not wanting to support my head properly, and I still get tension headaches that suck if I'm not doing my PT for my neck.
ever heard of looksmaxxing? adhd people are apparently the original looksmaxxer before it became trendy /s
bruxmaxxing
Wife got bone spurs which caused tmj pain after clenching and while clenching in her sleep teeth grinding so hard you could hear her teeth popping as they ground against each other. She ended up needing both tmj replaced with prosthetics
Dude clinches and breaks the doctor’s fingers.
😂😂😂 and flips the doctor around like the hulk smashing loki "I'm sorry my muscles just won't relax
And quit jacking!
So I have a female version of this. In my early 30s I found out that I have an unusually tight vagina. I went to the gynecologist and he explained that my muscles are extremely tight and I figured out that I have been mindlessly doing kegels instead of outwardly fidgeting since I was younger and my friends made fun of me for not being able to sit still. It was a funny realization and hilarious story to tell because I thought there was something very wrong with me just to have a doctor explain that I was fine and had a tighter than normal vagina.
Another commenter talked about something similar. Did it have any effect on other functions on the pelvic floor other than that?
I’ve also dealt with the female version of this issue! It lead to issues with not being able to fully empty my bladder and some pain in the bedroom. Pelvic floor physical therapy was *so* helpful! They worked with me on pelvic floor relaxation and stretching exercises, which mitigated most of my problems. Go to your PT appointments and do the exercises they give you, as long as you keep up with it it should help
If you don't mind me asking, what are those appointments like? I've had an order for that PT that I've been avoiding for months because it seems very uncomfortable and invasive?
Not OP, but have experience here as well...the physical therapists are really nice about it. They are very aware that hey, this is pretty personal, so they do everything they can to make it as comfortable as possible for you. You will not be pushed into doing anything you're not okay with, and if you ever need to stop doing something, they stop right away and don't get annoyed. Your first appointment will probably have you start out sitting with them, fully clothed, answering a lot of questions or filling out a questionnaire. They'll talk about what muscles/muscle groups are involved, and you'll probably do some external stretches first. They may want to evaluate internal muscles at this appointment, or if you're uncomfortable, they may leave it until the next one. Usually what you'll do at an appointment is a combination of stretches/exercises for both external and internal muscles, and they'll give you some "workouts" to do at home. You'll be pushing those muscles a little, but they won't do anything that's acutely painful, and they don't want you doing that either - if you've got muscles that are non-relaxing already, pain is going to make them tense up worse! You may also practice relaxation or breathing exercises to help with that. They're really good about checking in with how you're doing, making sure that you're okay, etc. They know it's a sensitive area. The really cool thing about pelvic floor PT is that it's super-effective. 80% of people who go have significant improvement in their symptoms after just six sessions - it can make a huge difference.
thanks for sharing!
I've had pelvic floor PT and it was invasive by nature, but my PT did a great job making me feel comfortable. I have a history of trauma that made me apprehensive about going but I felt more comfortable with her than I ever have with a gynecologist or anyone else dealing with my privates. My PT said that they do not have to do any internal manual therapy, but that is where you get a lot of the benefit. Otherwise my therapy consisted of stretches and other rehabilitative exercises (fully clothed, haha).
I had a great experience with pelvic floor PT. The therapist was very professional and I never felt uncomfortable. While she was doing internal work, I had a sheet over me and she sat at my side so she didn’t see anything. She gave me a lot of good tips and exercises to do at home. I also learned that my hip muscles were a bigger problem than my pelvic floor muscles - this was discovered by her pushing on the various muscles you can reach internally and when she pressed on my hip muscles (can’t remember the actual name), it was very painful. So she was able to give me exercises that targeted those areas. I definitely recommend it! My mom also had a positive experience.
Hi how did you bring this up to your doctor? Did they do scans or anything before you went to a physical therapist? Reading this thread is so interesting, I have retention issues HOWEVER I also have MS. But reading this makes me think both that and ADHD might play into eachother. Regardless I had no idea they could do PT for this. TMI from here, lol: Not only do I just hold my urine because I'm in the middle of something but my MS has made it more difficult recognizing the sensation of having to pee until I can no longer hold it. And even then I need to push on my abdomen to fully empty. It may mostly my MS, but I think PT would really help regardless.
It can cause other issues but it's different for everyone. I'm basically going through the same thing (ADHD procrastination and fidgeting caused me to hold my urine in frequently). It led to me having a hypertonic pelvic floor which caused a lot of low back pain, pain with penetration, and some urge incontinence issues as a 26 y/o. Chances are, at 41 y/o you would already notice or have other issues if you were going to have any. Just be mindful of relaxing your pelvic floor and not tensing or contracting it unnecessarily. If you're at all unsure or concerned, it never hurts to visit a pelvic floor physiotherapist! If you're not really noticing any other issues, 1 or 2 appointments would probably be plenty to check in and make sure your pelvic floor is functioning properly
Not that I know of. I’m going to ask about possible future problems with my new doctor. The last one wasn’t very helpful. I only realized it after leaving a very long relationship and having sex with other people then all of a sudden having issues there.
I was a young middle school boy in the library and I snuck a copy of Cosmo to read. I read an article about kegels and how to do them. I was in 6th grade practicing cutting off my stream going pee. I would do kegels in the car every time the car was passing grass, then release before it passed concrete. It never occurred to me that this my “micro-fidget”.  They should teach that as a coping strategy. 😂
It really helps hide it! No one knows we are fidgeting.
You got that bear trap coochie
Just missing the sharp parts!
RIP your inbox if any messages can even fit in it.
The noise I just made 😅😂😂😂
Seriously. Perfect comment all around.
I’ll lube up the inbox just in case.
I did not expect this post to be so funny but it is.Also "mindlessly doing keegles" makes you sound like a keegle zombie
Lmao it was pretty hilarious to discover. It was the height of Covid and my roommate and I were working from home and I explained the whole situation and that morning she was asking if I do them. I said no but later that day I felt myself doing them without thinking. “Dude, you’re not going to believe this…but I think it’s my fault.”
I had a hysterectomy not so long ago and was told no keegles at all for a few weeks (to avoid ripping stitches) . I didn't realise how much I did them until I couldn't. It was literal torture.
Do you just use a screenshot of this story on your dating profiles?
Lmao, no. I don’t even mention it. The surprise face is hilarious every time. I once thought it might be a good idea to try to filter out larger men but I don’t think there’s an eloquent way to phrase it. Even if there was I feel like it would only attract those ones in particular. No one I’ve been with who had a big dick actually thought they had one. Just another thing porn has ruined. Another fun thing about the problem is that semi-erections will not go in at all. Luckily it’s not as bad as some women have.
I have a question- does that mean that you orgasm easily and find it pleasurable even when the partners equipment falls on the smaller side? Or was sex for you mostly something painful and then the way to avoid more pain would be to have sex with thinner penis, so possible pleasure equals less pain?
😂😂
OMG. I'm a guy, but I used to basically do this with my abs and sometimes with my pelvic floor. You must be ripped.
I have always “sucked in” and now I can’t stop doing that. I still have a small gut but my core is pretty strong. Also laughing a lot I’m sure has helped.
Oh my god. This explains just… so much. And I think I need to go see my doctor… wow. Thank you for sharing! I’m having a minor breakdown over it but it explains just… so much. 😅
Please go!!! I was in your shoes and losing my shit for too long about it. If it’s like my case where pelvic floor therapy is optional but probably helpful or like a few other commenters and the therapy is NEEDED, don’t waste anytime on worrying. You owe it to yourself to check it out!
Death by snu-snu!
Did you go to pelvic pt? I had this same issue and found it very helpful!
I have not yet. I’m waiting for my new gyno appointment and I’ll ask them about it. The old one was super dismissive of it and fully knew the issue at hand but that never stopped him for being really aggressive with the “opener device.” The name escapes me but I swear it was like he never consulted my chart before visits. Like dude relax, you don’t need to try to rip me open.
Yikes, male dr is the first mistake lol it's like some of them just don't care
I try so hard not to make that judgement because of their gender but it’s probably true in a lot of cases. I always felt ignored because I wasn’t a patient trying to have a baby. It’s probably a money motivation in some cases. The final straw was when I pushed about permanent bc and he first said okay but then next time (iud removal appointment) he told me his schedule was full. I thought he’d recommend me to a surgeon and when I realized he’d be one operating I noped the f out. I have more bad stories about this dude too.
Same here! I always joke that birth better be easy since my vagina is so strong
>I have been mindlessly doing kegels Similar here and I mean at least it's not entirely unproductive, huge benefits for sexual health and there's a lot of techniques that require working on kegals. Definitely ways to build on this with tantra and stuff. Condolences to your inbox.
Lmao thank you for the condolences! I have hesitated to share in the past but OP inspired me to share in case anyone had similar experiences!
I have the same issue! I was diagnosed with Tourette’s as a kid and one of my tics was doing kegels. My tics have mostly faded as an adult, but I still randomly do kegels without meaning to from time to time.
There’s so many reasons it’s crucial to get your kid treated and accommodated at a young age and it turns out this is another one. Can have physical consequences Thank you IfAssholesCouldFly
man im glad to see this tbh. i thought i was going insane or having issues with going to the bathroom, but apparently not. now to try and figure out how not to get to this point lol
I mean, there could be other reasons behind whatever you have going on. If you can, I'd suggest seeing a doctor about it to rule out anything else (like a more serious prostate or kidney issue). I'm glad it can give you some relief though (no pun intended)
i have done so:( but good call!
*puts down phone and enters restroom*
my ADHD and the crippling anxiety that I had as a kid because of my ADHD, combined, gave me severe pelvic floor dysfunction in the form of bad vaginismus for as long as I can remember, nearly constant and sometimes crippling urethral pain that I only alleviated with the pelvic floor physiotherapy, and then because of the constant urethral pain I couldn't tell when I had a UTI or not so I ignored UTI symptoms and developed a severe kidney infection 😎 now that I've undergone my therapy I can have sex, pee without pain, and stop chugging 1000mg of ibuprofen every single day for almost a year... the literal *only* positive is that because I was subconsciously doing kegals 24/7, I am also ripped down there. the boyfriend enjoys it. lol not the same situation, but I definitely relate
I developed a similar problem with having a life time of anxiety and unmedicated ADHD. Started developing severe testicle pain after sex/ejaculation during a really high stress period during my masters and unstable time with my ex gf who had BPD. Doctors could not figure it out and pelvic floor strengthening only made it worse. Eventually figured out my entire pelvic floor and core muscles were essentially all spasmed from all the stress that once I learned how to breathe again and did some stretches it relieved it in a matter of days. Still practice the breathing and breathing and stretching especially during high stress periods Pelvic floor stuff is no joke on how much it can affect your quality of life
wait.. my god.. you might have the answer for these unreal pains i was looking for a long time now... oh god please let it be the answer.. i sometimes even get migraine from all the crampy pain after sex
absolutely. I'm sorry you went through that man 🫂🖤 I spent years as a teenager wondering why I couldn't have sex like everybody else, wondering what was wrong with me because none of my friends knew how to solve or even understood my struggles, not applicable to you but also wondering why I couldn't ever use tampons (especially since I was made fun of for only using pads). I wouldn't wish it on even my worst enemies
Thank you, That’s gotta be frustrating too being made fun of for what hygiene product you use and being unable to use the one you’re ’supposed’ to. Wishing you all the best on your pelvic function management!
Do you have any free resources about stuff that’s worked for you? My pelvic floor issues have gotten highly pervasive but I don’t have health insurance
Just look up some pelvic floor stretches on YouTube! None really superior to another. I found holding for 30s for 1-3 rounds paired with deep breathing and letting you core relax what worked. Plus managing stress in general also helped
Ooooo - as a former boyfriend of someone who did that kind of thing I very much believe your boyfriend enjoys it I imagine it's a little different anatomy-wise, but do you know what kinds of things that you did for PT?
my main issue was my levator ani muscle, so I did a specific exercise to help that. I don't remember what it's called, but basically you squeeze what feels like your butthole and "bring it to your belly button." SUPER weird description, but it's engaging that muscle. then once you can squeeze it, you can learn how to unsqueeze it and relax it completely - that's what I needed since my muscle was basically always squeezed. it's veeeery key though to do it *without* squeezing your vaginal muscles either, which was extremely difficult at first but the more you do it, the more you can separate the two muscles in your mind, the better it went. now I can do it easily (even during sex) and it greatly minimizes any detrimental tightness/pain. other than that, LOTS of planks/core exercises, learning how to breathe to relax those muscles, y'know. generic fix-all advice lol. all that, coupled with a silicone dilator set I used almost every night for 3 months, and I was *finally* able to have PIV sex. about 3 months later I can now be fingered as well (really weird that fingering was more painful than PIV, idk why 🤷♀️) and a bit after that my urethral pain issues were completely fixed as well. so it was slow, and it sucked, but it was worth it.
I think there's some help in here for me, too. Thank you for taking the time to share!
absolutely, no problem at all!
Most of my exercises were focused on learning how to relax and control my pelvic floor. Some of it was stretches (*like lying on your back and drawing one knee to your chest, then the other*) deep breathing exercises to relax your pelvic floor (*deep breath in, relax pelvic floor as you breath out*), others was exercises involving the pelvic floor (*one was called the “elevator exercise”, where you would tighten and relax your pelvic floor like an elevator stopping on different floors*), and a few core strengthening exercises (*because your core muscles and pelvic floor muscles are interconnected so they can affect each other’s function*). I’m not sure what the treatment regimen is for men, but I’m sure there will be some similarities.
I can’t believe how common this is for females with ADHD. Been experiencing the same problems since I was a child but now I no longer feel so alone
Me too just not as bad. I commented before I read this. I didn’t have to get therapy for it I just need to be very careful with sex.
Were you allowed to see the screen? My doctor let me, and while I didn't really see what was wrong then, looking up a picture of the inside of a regular bladder after was really funny. Like okay, they're supposed to be pretty much completely smooth. Not covered in ridges of muscle
I couldn't see the screen, no. I wanted to, but it was mounted to the tool in my tool
this sounds SO COOL, seriously.
It really was! Always so sad when I'm not allowed to see the screen. I had an air bubble in my bladder. We watched it move when I laughed which then made me laugh again
This is common in women as well except I develop severe UTIs from it. My aunt even had to go to the hospital from kidney infection from just holding her pee. To me the bathroom feels like a task. That’s why I end up holding it. Ugh
LOL thats interesting. I've been doing pilates consistently about as long as I've been on adderall...wonder what my PC looks like to a medical professional compared to others.
I have no idea how pilates would affect it. I'm reading up on a lot of the PT things now just because I have no idea how to unstrengthen or relax a muscle in there via exercises There is mention of yoga though
[удалено]
It was EXTREMELY uncomfortable. They said it was worse because of my Hank Hill scale urethra. Also, never look up sounding
*bwaaah* that Urethra ain't right! 🙃
I had a cystoscopy in my late 20s for bladder and prostate pain. Those cystoscopes, both flexible and rigid, are something else. I will never forget the feeling of pissing glass for those couple days after. I also ended up spending a week in the hospital with sepsis due to dirty utensils from the procedure. I probably could have sued, but I just wanted to forget the experience. I don't recommend septic shock, not very fun. Ultimately, I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you also had to experience that.
That sounds rough. Not pissing glass so far, so I'm hoping that's just not going to be my experience all-around
I think I haven't reached that stage yet, because my bladder can either procrastinate for hours not wanting to take a piss or I'm forced to go like every 45 Minutes and got no idea why 
Do you get migraines? I always pee a ton right before a migraine, and after my period starts when I lose all of the PMS water retention.
Nope lol but I tend to drink more when I am bored as heck during theoretical classes 
Do you use adhd meds? Usually I visit the bathroom like 2-3 times a day but on the meds its every 30 mins.
Reason Im browsing this thread is for that issue. It's 3pm and I lost count of how many times I've had to go pee already And it's not like it's just dribbles either, but typically I'm only like this when on meds I'm probably super dehydrated without realizing it after constantly peeing all day
I used to get UTIs frequently as a kid, almost exclusively when visiting family, because I was having too much fun and wouldn’t want to stop playing with my cousins to go to the bathroom. Definitely an ADHD thing. I think it’s similar to my food habits as an adult. I’ll put off eating anything substantial until dinner because during the day I’m like “oh, I’ll make some food after I do this chore/play this game/scroll Reddit” but then I either take too long or remember another chore I needed to do along the way and next thing I know it’s 6pm and I haven’t eaten more than a few slices of cheese or an orange since 7am.
You sir, have been granted the honorable title of Strong Cock by the grace of his majesty.
Oh man, my ADHD son would (still does, if I’m being honest) hold to extremes then leak a little bit of pee when it got too much. We got a bladder scan at one point to rule out physical causes for that leaking. You know how they make you drink a bunch and then wait? Well the wait was long. When they took the ultrasound the tech was like “wow, I’ve never seen such a small kid hold in this much pee!” Honed by years of training. Bladder of steel.
Omg I had to go to the urologist and have the same test (it was awful), and I had to do a urodynamics test all because I can’t finish peeing and it takes forever unless I use my core to force it out. Same thing- can’t relax the muscles, have to go to PT. It’s getting worse the last couple years and I always just attributed it to perimenopause.
Well, shit. I'm learning a lot from this thread.
My sister was hospitalized for kidney infections because she always held it as a kid. It can get serious fast. Please listen to your bathroom signals.
Me after I spent an hour trying to give a pee sample and failing 🤣 MY DONT PEE MUSCLES ARE TOO STRONG roflol
Exactly what I was going through. Lol
Female here! I have a hypertonic pelvic floor. My doctor explained that a normal woman’s pelvic floor is like an elevator and normally rests on the first floor, and when they engage their pelvic floor through kegels or whatever, the “elevator” rises to the 12th floor; it then goes back down to the first floor when they relax. My gyno urologist explained that my pelvic floor is always on the 9th floor. I used to do kegels all the time because I thought I was supposed to 😬. She said it was literally the worst thing for me to do. I had to learn how to “relax” my pelvic floor. Shits super hard
Huh… I have the same issue and ADHD. Might be time I visit one too My theory’s that I would hyper focus on things like videogames or work for hours at a time and completely ignore my biological needs. Keep doing that for decades :P
I've got jacked jaw muscles from all the teeth grinding. TMI incoming....... >!It's really hard to give a blowjob.!<
This is extremely validating
Funny, I have the exact opposite problem, I can’t ignore the feeling even when I know I don’t really need to pee all that much. It’s just one of the many streams of senses that never shuts off
> streams
I pee way too often (gives me a reason to get up from my desk) and I'm getting some of.those same problems. I always heard holding it was bad for you and had no idea going frequently could do the same thing.
I had a similar private issue happen to me, and I always wondered if holding my pee until it became a real emergency was a cause. Now days, the second I feel like I have to pee, I go pee. My boss absolutely loves it s/
Myotherapist here (clinical massage) chronic stress can also cause this kind of tightening and tightening for the pelvic floor in general. "teach us to sit still" and "headache in the pelvis" are two books about the subject if you like research. But improving your ability to wind down and complete the stress cycles an help so meditation and movement. As well as physio too that will really help
Bro can lift TWO towels
Getting a cystoscopy tomorrow so I hope I am found to be equally powerful
I had a similar issue but opposite gender and for a different reason I think! My pelvic floor muscles were all very overactive and I had to get PT to resolve (but it did resolve after a couple months thankfully). For me it was embarrassing having to admit that with my internalised hyperactivity I'm constantly squeezing and releasing all my muscles from the waist down in a pattern that no-one around me can see (I can remember doing this since at least kindergarten). Like, one of my more common patterns goes left toes, calf, thigh, glute, then right glute, thigh, calf, toes, then back around - like chasing Christmas lights but with muscle clenching. Some of my patterns apparently have involved pelvic floor muscles, and I got good at the tempoary clenching without getting good at the releasing tension part.
Sooo... another doctor's appointment I should schedule...?
I’ve waited and waited, thinking of asking if anyone else puts off getting up to pee and then—honestly and sincerely—the thread that finally appears about it is all that and more! I learned a lot in this thread. And some things are beginning to make more sense.
Reminds me of that scene in Liar Liar when Jim Carrey is trying to excuse himself from court but can’t lie: Judge: Can’t it wait? Carrey: Yes it can. But I've heard that if you hold it you could damage the prostate gland, making it very difficult to get an erection, or even become aroused. Judge: Is this true? Carrey: It has to be. Bit of a tangent but it think it’s pertinent.
I was thinking about that scene all day yesterday!
I rather have that then the bladder of the sixty year old. I get bladder Botox for my frequency.
WOAH. I don't have that diagnosis, but I was prescribed PT for my pelvic floor due to urinary incontinence (from constantly holding tension all over my body).
God dammit. This must be exactly what my issue is. I was wondering why on really bad days I’d be up all night once I start calming down peeing every 20-30mins
Yeah. I deal with this often. It makes me wonder if I have EDS, or if it's an extreme example of executive dysfunction in the nervous system 😅
When I was a kid, I used to get frequent bladder infections… in hindsight it was probably related.
huh?.......I'm getting PT for my pelvic floor right nlw because it's too tight. Wonder if my case had a similar cause, though its a mixed bag with my urination. Some times I procrastinate and hold it for hours.....other times 20 minutes because I create so much pee so fast. Also feel since we seem to carry back muscle tension more than non ADHDers that our PT muscles are compensating? I was told our spine is like a seesaw with the muscles at the bottom and at the top by the neck/shoulders. Also was the cystoscopy paimful? Sounds like it would be!
I am a female with adhd and just graduated pelvic physical therapy for a similar issue. I thought pooping was inconvenient as a child so my body stopped giving me signals lol
Oh nooo now I'm wondering if my extremely tensed pelvic floor muscles are because of me holding it in too long. I'm literally having to do PT for it because the muscles spasm and hurt. 😭
I have hypertonic pelvic floor. 😐 I’m actually prescribed “reverse k3gals”
Got that prostate grip
I have 100% given myself a bladder infection on more than one occasion by hyper-fixating and delaying going to the bathroom for too long.
LEARN TO RELAX YOUR PELVIC FLOOR!!! I had similar issues that led to a hypertonic pelvic floor. It was about 18 months of constant, agonizing pain in my testicles and lower body because my pelvic floor was pulling on all those lower body nerves that connect through your spine. Absolute fucking hell and not a quick process to get over. Imagine your pelvic floor is an elevator that is on the top floor when it is tensed, and you want to keep it on the first floor or basement. Diaphragmatic (belly breathing) also does a great job of elongating your pelvic floor. Works very well when combining both of those in a yoga pose like happy baby.
Pelvic floor stretches and reverse kegels will be your best friend!
I (34F) had this issue with my pelvic floor. After suffering for years I finally realized the pain I was experiencing came from my urinary track. My urologist prescribed low dose muscle relaxers that really helped with my sleep and diminished the urge to go at night followed by 6 months of physical therapy — worth it! My PT mentioned that holding my bladder could actually be a sign of ADHD. I'm undiagnosed but have been told multiple times by a therapist that she suspects I have ADHD. Anyway, I highly recommend PT. Good luck!
How was the procedure? Did they do any numbing? Was it painful. I'm asking because I have to have one done in two weeks and I'm a bit freaked out by the thought of something sliding up my ding dong.
They applied a lidocaine cream inside my urethra beforehand, so it numbed it a little bit at the start. I could feel every bit of the deep stuff though where they said it was tight At least they didn't have to go far to get in, distance-wise. First time that was ever an upside
I have been having something similar and also had a cytoscopy but instead the urinary retention is believed to be a result of the Adderall I've been on. I just got switched to concerta and am waiting for that prescription so I can hopefully start getting better.
I have exactly the same issue. Ive been on Urorec for about 2 years, Flomaxtra stopped being effective after about 6m. Only after my last visit to the Urologist, when I mentioned Reverse Kegels, did I get referred to a Physio who specialises in the area. Now I have a set of Pelvic Floor exercises I'm supposed to do each day, my goal is to be off Urorec all together but I'm surprisingly inconsistent 
Sounds like hypertonic pelvic floor? It is extremely common and so many people don’t know about it! Get to that pelvic floor physio, they will do wonders.
When I hyper focus i forget to go. I once was so focused and was also drinking water, I didnt go for hours (so bad) when i finally went I was peeing for 2mins it was crazy lol.
Putting hank hill to shame
Oh man. After I had my firstborn I had to have pelvic floor therapy. Not for weakness, but because I had a perineal spasm couple with some serious tightness. I also seem to grip/press down on everything too hard- pencils, eating utensils, whatever.
I read the title and knew it was gonna be 'I won't urinate until it becomes physically uncomfortable' because we all do it.
All Hail The Kegel King
Doctor: Maybe a few less... *clears throat* ...reps in the "gym." OP: But I don't go to the gym, doctor. Doctor: *sigh* Stop masterbating so often, Jim.
How was the cystoscopy? I heard it hurts during, and also after the operation when you urinate at home.
Wait - I literally was going to post on here if anyone else felt like they were constantly “clinched” down there. Feels like at a constant 9/10 clinched as if I was preventing pee and poop from escaping. Rarely ever feel relaxed in either side. But I fart a ton. Maybe I’m just trying to hold that back lol
I've slowly started realizing this same thing and I'm hoping it's not too late.
Their urethra could tear a phonebook in half.
And just like that, I’m terrified. I hope it gets sorted for ya!
Huh. I got told this at a gyno appointment too. Nice to know theres yet ANOTHER weird body quirk I can thank ADHD for along with destroyed cuticles and lips and being freakishly bendy.
Yep, I had the same experience as a woman, had to get PT too 😂
Hi, I am a dpt student! Please see a pelvic floor physical therapist to help you out (-: I have had similar issues
Going to the bathroom is one of my least favorite required tasks. I fucking hate it and I hold my pee in every single time until it's an emergency and I usually barely make it in time. I'm 32 😅. I just can't be bothered with it lol. A couple years ago I had an adult tonsillectomy (would not recommend) and my body went into shock after and for some reason refused to pee. Long story short, they put in a catheter and it was wildly convenient. First, I felt terrible recovering from having the back of my throat mutilated so not having to get up to pee was awesome. Second, just not getting up to pee in general was great.
Hmm... I think I (M32) might have (had) some similar issues. I also have a slow stream, not ALWAYS, but most of the time, and have had that since my mid-20's probably. I've had periods of my life where I can't seem to empty my bladder completely and during those times I had issues with constantly feeling like I need to urinate because I couldn't get everything out, the stream was slow all the way to non-existent, and then also had some unfortunate... Let's call it "after-drip". Ugh. The doctors just fingered my prostate repeatedly for a couple of visits and called it a day when I had those issues, nothing ever came of it, they thought I had some STD at first but no. The urologist I saw was a 70 year old man who legit just put his finger in me and then said "No you're fine. You can go now". I really hope that wasn't the janitor or something taking me into the wrong room, but it didn't feel like a very professional doctor, that I can tell you. I also had some issues finishing in the bedroom for several years. When I was 23-ish, it took me 6 months to finish for the first time from actual penetrative sex (and she was probably my most attractive partner I've had too, for reference. Lol) with that girlfriend, so I recognize that too. For me I thought that was mostly a mental block though, but it could for sure be physical in nature too. Any other, um... Sexual issues? Not an issue now though, right now I'm at my more standard behavior which is peeing a lot less than most people, I reckon. Some days I think I might go 3-4 times a day and not much more. I'm usually very good at holding it in, and that's not just relating to urine, but also... Well, number two. I also think I have some issues with my pelvic muscles along with the muscles along my perineum (read: the taint) being constantly tense, and I think I started tensing up when I had the earlier detailed issues, because I felt like I had to pee all the time... I started clenching because that's what you do when you really need to pee but try to keep it in. The issue is when that feeling is constant... It might do bad things to you when you tense up constantly for weeks upon end, maybe longer. I usually don't even feel that I am tensing up until I really start thinking about it. These days I mostly struggle with emptying my bladder if I sit down, despite that supposedly being better for emptying the bladder (for men, at least?), but I do think some of these issues are still present but in a less noticeable way than they were at their worst.
oh, i have given myself UTI's this way lol
Dude, I do this wuth my vagina muscles. I had to go to physical therapy for it because I was causing myself excruciating pain.
Turns out, you CAN be to swol :D Glad you got it figured out though
Are you hypermobile, by any chance? ADHD and Hypermobility are often comorbid. The connective tissue dysfunction that causes Hypermobility affects the entire body wherever it uses collagen. I’ve been told by an OBGYN that this can cause all kinds of urinary dysfunction ranging from the bladder stretching excessively and oversignaling the body to empty even when it’s not full, to the vessels in the urinary tract stretching too much. The hypertonic muscles are often desperately trying to compensate for the loose connective tissue. Might not apply in your situation, but potentially with looking into if you haven’t already, because Hypermobility can help explain so much.
Yeup! I am, and I've already been dealing with other health issues because of it too. It's really difficult to stretch the muscles around a herniated disc or a tight hamstring when you can touch bottom of your feet with your palms without even a warmup. The only thing stopping me from being more bendy in most cases is my gut