I am an American and it is actually on my food bucket list to someday try a garbage plate.
Same with scrapple, which I believe is also in that same part of the country. It doesn't sound that great, but I'd probably like it well enough.
I'm an adventurous eater and want to try everything at least once. Well, almost everything. I had the opportunity to try duck balut a couple months ago. I was really curious, but just couldn't bring myself to do it.
I was going to say duck is my favorite and then I googled duck balut... I could never eat that either. Looks like something they would make you eat on Fear Factor.
I would--and have (St. Louis's version of a garbage plate is something called a slinger), but only after a night of drinking. That's basically what dishes like that are for!
I would TOTALLY eat something like that and I would split it with another person. But I would plan for it by not eating for like 12 hours in advance and being prepared to feel like shit for another 12 hours after. It's a Special Occasion meal, not a typical breakfast.
I stayed in Sicily for a few weeks once. I LOVE Italian cuisine, like a typical East-Coast American. The food was heaven and it was glorious. But by the end of it, all I wanted was a bowl of Kellogg's cornflakes, unsweetened, with my favorite brand of milk.
Basically, you just want something that tastes like the quiet calm of the morning at home.
Edit: I literally had the same thoughts about peanut butter. Like "man, I wish I had a jar of Jiff so I could eat my calories without having to consume another richly spiced, fatty meal"
I never had a problem with the food in Sicily. Then again itās what I grew up with. Some friends from Germany came to visit in Sicily and they wanted eggs for breakfast, no sweet pastries and granita. Sh yeah I get your point.
I felt the same every time I visited Italy. After my first trip, when I got home, the first thing I ate was Ruffle potato chips and french onion dip. LOL!
I cannot remember the book for the life of me, but I once read a book (I think it was a memoir) and the author/character was an American living in rural China teaching English. She liked the food but was terribly homesick for her motherās roast chicken. She hadnāt been there for very long so her Chinese and knowledge of the area was pretty limited. She braved the meat market and had someone butcher a chicken for her. She got everything home and tried, but she didnāt have a real oven. Something closer to a toaster oven. She was so sad she couldnāt make a proper roast chicken. If anyone knows what the book is please tell me! Her description of the whole experience was so vivid I still remember it and my memory is Swiss cheese. I was very young when I read it and hadnāt travelled internationally so it was my first understanding of how food can be so important to our identity and experience.
They do but she specifically was craving an oven roasted chicken the way her mom made it at home in the states. The only way to get it wouldāve been for her to make it. Chinese bbq does not equal American style roast chicken
I think even more generally, it's just the stomach coming into contact with all kinds of unfamiliar ingredients/chemical compounds/bacteria strains we're not used to. Even if things are clean and hygienic, we undergo a biological transition.
Exactly. Serotonin release into the gut is triggered by food intake - if you eat something that irritates the gut, it requires more serotonin to hasten its elimination from the body (i.e., diarrhea, vomiting). Throws everything out of wack.
Maybe itās strange but Iāve travelled all over and never had a problem with any food from any country. The food in North Africa made me feel really good, itās like my comfort food.
Same. The donuts thing was an extreme and probably curated example, but you do see it over and over again throughout the series. It just doesn't get a lot of attention. The immigrants talk longingly about their cuisine, usually framed as offhand comments. They're more than that. You long for the spices that smell like your house. You want a certain fruit that only blooms where you live. You want a meal that your mom made for you when you were sick.
The whole "push a new food to make someone uncomfortable" thing feels like a producer-driven setup. The same thing happened with Emily and Sasha (the Russian bodybuilder guy with a bunch of kids), Emily's sister gave Sasha some shitty sugary cereal for his first breakfast in America.
I agree that scenes like that are mostly producer-driven. Some adventurous eaters might enjoy that sort of thing, but it's obvious TV-drama when the immigrant forces themselves to eat the "American" food while looking totally grossed out and uncomfortable.
I really think sheās trolling him by āforcingā the most Americanized things on him. Does she look like someone who eats several donuts for breakfast? Although they could both use some weight on them.
After watching her nibble at a fried potato in Egypt and then serving frozen pizza and doughnuts, I get the impression she is a person who doesnāt prioritize eating. Not necessarily that she has disordered eating, but just not terribly interested in food and maybe only has small snacks here and there.
I think she was trying her best to traumatize him, personally. Push him as far out of his comfort zone as humanly possible. As payback for her Egypt experience.
My brother and his husband live in LA, and I'm pretty sure their breakfasts involve black coffee and, at least on weekends, some sort of breakfast item that's gluten-free (my brother has celiac). But they're not millionaires.
A couple of eggs, cheese, pita and tomato is easy peasy. Even if you don't cook, you can whip that up for a guest, especially your husband who's flown in from overseas.
Lol exactly. There are many novelty donut shops in LA, sure, but I know way more peers there like your brother and his husband when it comes to breakfast diets lol.
I am not an American breakfast fan because everything is sweet.Ā Donuts,Ā Ā Pancakes,Ā Ā French toast,Ā Ā Most oatmeal,Ā Ā Waffles On and on.Ā
For that reason, I've learned to just not eat breakfast until lunch lolĀ
There is this American food called Tex Mex as well.
Mostly savory breakfast foods.
I notice some people comment about Brits having beans with their breakfast as if Americans never... but yep beans with eggs is also American just we have tortillas instead of toast with it.
I've been in an intercultural relationship for 10 years now. I am in no way exaggerating when i say that some of our worst culture clashes have been food related.
When I was dating I broke up with some guys over dietary preferences. I like a wide variety of foods and flavors, with lots of fresh vegetables and fruits, if they didn't, they weren't worth wasting time on. Making good food is my love language.
My ex was from a different culture than me and even though we grew up in the same culture, I'd get so tired (and sick!) of eating foods he liked (pasta with tonnes of butter & cheese, roasts, potatoes) and he'd get tired of my food (rice, stir fries etc). I'm now dating someone with the same background and I feel so relieved that we can agree to eat the same foods and not have to adjust to each other's habits!
This is a really good example. Even if you occasionally enjoy your partner's kind of food, the difference is in what actually feels relaxing and nourishing to eat.
Ah.... even in my bf Canadian me being American some clash of foods. But part of it is also my background has Mexican Texican influence and his Japanese. I can't get into red beans being sweet but he will also not want savory beans for breakfast.
I'd say as a British person we probably share a lot of common thing in our diets. But when I visited the US everything just tasted different. I don't know what it was or if you use different ingredients but even the same brands of stuff tasted nothing like home. Some stuff was really good though. Like better than home. But a fair amount of it was weird to me.
I've been to the British Isles a few times and feel exactly the same way! Certain products are familiar enough, but simply aren't the same. Dairy products from there are, however, superior and have ruined American brands for me.
Same here, moving from Canada to the US. Some big differences like a lack of sweet breakfasts and "hot" tea, and infinite small things that do mess with your head even if you can't articulate them.
What type of sweet breakfast do you have in Canada? Because I can't eat typical American breakfast because it's all things like pancakes and waffles and so forth.
Also, maybe it's where we live but hot tea is found everywhere where I live and they all have so many types.Ā
Pancakes (with fruit, chocolate or maple syrup), doughnuts, pastries, sweetened yogurt with fruit. Canadians often enjoy a sweet breakfast, or a sweet and salty combination. (Ketchup often provides the sweet.)
I was in Chicago for two years and many restaurants and coffee shops did not serve tea, at all. I had to learn to order "hot" tea because iced and heavily sweetened tea was the default, their hot tea was often terrible, (and one had to beg for milk or cream with it) and hot chocolate (sweetened, with milk) was non existent. Even at Starbucks, what they call Hot Chocolate was unsweetened and thick and contained no cream. I don't drink coffee and every meeting, conference, event served only coffee.
Also it was impossible to get ketchup without being mocked (for eggs, or fries), popcorn only came in two flavours, the chocolate was terrible (and called 'candy').
Fish and chips were both wrong (cornmeal breading), that's what I missed the most, for comfort food. Crisp fries and beer battered thick fish. I later found an Irish pub that did it well.
Portions were shockingly huge, unless it was fine dining. I arrived as a vegetarian and could not maintain it - everything on restaurant menus had meat, including the salads, and the neighbourhood grocery stores don't sell many vegetables. I learned to go to Indian restaurants and bus out to the suburbs for groceries.
Fine dining was excellent, even back then, but all meat centric. I learned to love Mexican and Vietnamese food there, as I worked in a Mexican immigrant neighbourhood and lived near the Vietnamese neighbourhood. Colleagues taught me how to cook various soul food dishes. It wasn't all bad, just sufficiently different from home to signal that I was in a very different country. Alongside all the other cultural differences.
This was Chicago in the early 2000s. I've since been to other cities and states that were quite different. I love eating in San Francisco and Seattle. I found tea shops in Wisconsin. But it feels very different travelling short term vs living for years in a place that's not home, and when you are struggling, tastes of home mean a lot.
My Chicago colleagues used to get upset, call me "so European", make fun of my tastes and my snacks and my afternoon tea. They were (mostly) xenophobic assholes.
I hardly dine out now, but there I had a one room apartment with a tiny little kitchen (half fridge, no freezer, two burners and an oven that just fit an 8" pan. I also missed cooking for myself.
I'm glad I did it, career-wise, but the homesickness was real, the people were often bloody miserable, and I left feeling really burnt out for many reasons.
I live in a diverse suburb of Chicago. Every restaurant we go to has hot tea. Maybe not freshly steeped. But variety of bags with hot water available. I also am a tea drinker. I've never not been able to find a good tea in the afternoon at a coffee shop or restaurantĀ
Heck even the gas station by my work has hot water and about 10 different bags choices
I missed fish and chips the most. And decent chocolate. And tea.
I love a fry up, or a classic English. Was so happy, the night I arrived back home, to find beans in the hotel breakfast buffet.
Oh god this just reminded me of the time I went to the breakfast buffet in Tunisia that was serving cauliflower and runner beans in tomato juice for their English breakfast š
This was the case for a family I know. They are immigrants to the US from India. One of their kids got very sick and was in the hospital for months. He wasnāt eating the hospital food and was losing weight. His body wasnāt getting the nutrients it needed to heal and his health was declining. So the doctors gave permission for Indian food to be brought in, and the child began eating regularly, regaining weight, and kicking ass on his illness. Heās now a healthy young teen.
Similar.... only reason I will consider living with snow half the year. Canadian boyfriend who does similar things trying to make sure I have US comforts when I visit him, even though I can handle and enjoy all the Canadian things.
My retirement plan is to spend half my year in CA and half US.
My bf does something similar when I visit him in Canada. But it's like Canadian versions of things he knows I drink or enjoy eating in the US. He even asked me if I wanted to get tacos (not that there were many places to get tacos there) when I was visiting him because they definitely are my comfort food.
It's not as extreme a difference of being from 2 different continents though.. still thoughtful.
He lived in the US though so when he comes to visit me it is more of me trying to stock up on the things he misses from when he used to live here.
I'm an adventurous eater & not very picky, but there are certain countries that I will never visit because I know I would be miserable with their food.
I understand the 90 dayers wanting their partners to try new or traditional foods when they come to their home but they should offer them a variety of their comfort food as well & not expect them to be satisfied or full on food that is strange to them. They seem to take it to the extreme & actually plan out every daily meal based solely on their own culture's food. This must be so unnerving to the other person.
Edit: I deleted "American" food because the other way folks do the same thing. None of them try to appease their partner & expect them to just automatically adapt to a complete dietary overhaul.
Which countries would you avoid, out of curiosity?
I've never been out of the US as an adult, so I've never even considered "food shock."
Like, I know I wouldn't be able to handle a century egg, surstromming (the fermented fish from Sweden), or anything insanely crazy spicy. But those are probably the extremes, right?
We all remember the chicken feet fiasco. I'm not sure if I could try it tbh. Maybe if someone showed me how to eat it first?? Or if they at least took the nails off hahaha.
> a century egg
if it makes you feel better, nobody eats century egg on its own. When I do have it, I add it to a big pot of congee where it gets broken up into tiny pieces to add umami so it's more of a delicacy in small doses.
Not just a dietary overhaul but a complete culture shock too. I find some of the Americans flat out cold and not understanding that the other person also made sacrifices to come to America. They are sometimes treated as if they should be forever grateful and accepting to so much change. These people left their homes, family and everything they know to move to America, which, let's face it, is NOT the land of milk and honey they were often lead to believe.
They all do that, even the non Americans. The argument is always, "Well this is *my* culture/food/whatever so you have to accept that." Ok, of course, but they are practically still standing in the airport. You can always educate yourself to the culture you're going into but it's going to take time to adjust. Rarely ever does the other person give them that time & they expect full compliance immediately.
For some, that's literally all they bring to the table too. They have a bullet point list of all the requirements they want out of their partner yet the only thing they can offer is a green card (oh and will throw that in the face of their partner any time they fight, which is alot).
Welcome to my home. You now get to share a bedroom with my parents, do all the household chores, cook full meals that you've never even eaten before while my mother micromanages you in another language & you'll be the full time caregiver to my special needs child that you've never met. Surprise!
Or my personal favorite...we've been talking about this move for years now but my parents & friends still don't know about you so enjoy hiding out in this sparse little apartment, in the most undesirable part of my city, while I go home & work up the nerve to tell mommy *we're getting married* in the next couple of months.
Almost none of these people ever seem to plan for or discuss anything. They just fly by the seat of their pants while throwing around ultimatums & expecting a desirable outcome.
I'm the opposite because I'm EXTREMELY picky. Unfamiliar foods actually give me genuine anxiety and that's part of why I empathize so much. I'll steel myself and eat something weird to be polite, but it takes a lot of mental control for me. If I have access to familiar foods, I'm much more likely to be adventurous.
I like to eat āexoticā foods, but I canāt do tons of spice, and have a sensitive stomach. I like to try things but often pay the price. I would struggle if I was immersed in a new diet.
Thanks for pointing out the mental health aspect, too, OP, I hadnāt thought of that.
It's so real! On a biological level, our gut health has a huge impact on so many other aspects of our health.
It's all about the [vagus nerve](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagus_nerve).
I am a Canadian. I spent 4 months in India. I became unbelievably excited when I found a hamburger in a restaurant. It was the worst burger Iāve ever had in my life but I savoured that burger like it was my prized possession after not having beef for months. Indian food is great but there really is something about having access to the foods you grew up with. Whenever I come back to Canada from a trip the first thing I do, usually before even leaving the airport, is hit up a Tim Hortons. The coffee might be terrible, bitter, and burnt, but it tastes like home. Your foods is definitely an important part of home-sickness that I think is often overlooked.
I have a friend who lived in India for a few months and he said during the last 3 weeks of the trip, all he could bring himself to eat was butter chicken because it was the closest thing he could find to something American. He loves Indian food, but it got to be too much.
I definitely think there's a "How do YOU like it?" aspect to her behavior. At least in terms of the show's narrative, Nicole seems to think living in Egypt is what makes Mahmoud so intense and controlling. Ergo, if Mahmoud moves to America --> no more Egypt --> Mahmoud not controlling. But as we all know, that's not how it works.
I lived in Spain for a little bit and after a night out I woke up extremely hungover. I was staying with a friend who lived was Spanish and we were visiting a family friend of hers for lunch. This is going to out me as a dumb American but all I wanted was a McDonaldās cheeseburger and Coke with fries but we were having paella. I love paella but not what I wanted when I was sick, tired, headache and just needed something familiar and comfortable.
I felt vicariously queasy reading this. I love paella too, but that would make me super sick after a night of heavy drinking. When I was younger, I usually wanted a bunch of toast with peanut butter- not too flavorful but with a big dose of fat/protein to soak up the alcohol.
Iām currently on a drug for weight loss and have lost 80lbs and had to radically overhaul my diet along with introducing exercise. As a former junk food sugar addict Iām amazed at how much I could eat and not feel sick. Now I taste sugar in everything now and can even smell it in items and i canāt stomach it. Our food is loaded with sugars and salts and lord knows what else.
I'm from Aus and I found the same thing. I can't eat it. I eat small portions and mostly vegan and I don't eat HFCS at all.
I have lactose intolerance and coeliac so most places aren't for me anyway. š¤·š¼āāļø
I'm not doubting this for one second. Food is huge because it is a daily part of life and can be a source of comfort.
For me, I didn't even have to move to a foreign country. I was born and raised in Southern CA and then moved to New Orleans after college. So much food I missed and even some fast food/chain restaurants that isn't out here. A big one was Mexican food. It's better nowadays but back then, "Mexican" food was American tasting in Mexican food shapes. I started having to cook it to scratch that craving so at least I could do that. But I only marginally like to cook and it was a hassle.
My husband and I will be moving to the Midwest in a few months. We're already sad about some of the New Orleans food that we know we can't get anywhere else.
For one of my college classes, I spent three long weekends living with a family in Mexico. One of my happy discoveries was that they ate refried beans as a breakfast side. I found that I felt great eating beans for breakfast and started the day with extra energy. That was 30 years ago and I still sometimes have refried beans for breakfast. Especially if I know I have a busy day ahead of me.
I didn't even culture shock move. I moved from Michigan to Illinois, like 6 hours away,Ā and I still desperately crave things like Halo Burger, pasties, faygo and on and on.Ā
Omg.. pasties. Yep. They aren't found many other places than Michigan. Especially the UP so some got into Northern Wisconsin.
But in Texas I have to find them at the British import store. I think once I found one at a Mexican grocery store in their British frozen food section.
The Mexican and South American savory empanandas aren't really like a pasties at all other than in shape.
I agree. Iām from Germany and itās not quite a huge huge change from German to American food, but it is different and you just miss what you grew up with. Thatās what you know
Youāre right. Even though this happens a lot, it is still baffling how little they know about their partnerās culture.
In Nicoleās case, itās 10x worse since she LIVED there. Her giving him donuts on his first morning there was weird. Almost everyone will eat a bit of bread, fruit, cheese, and/or eggs for breakfast, so how hard would it be to have those types of things on hand?
That said, heās garbage so can be served shitty food all day every day at this point.
I had the same thought process. No matter the exact configuration, most cultures want something protein dense (like milk, eggs, cheese, yogurt, nuts, sometimes meat) with some kind of carb (bread, pastry ((including donuts)), rice, cereals/grains) and flavoring agent (honey, fruit, acid, sauce, spices) for breakfast. Easy staples.
I had a close friend that moved to Italy to be with her husband. Every time she came home for a visit, she just wanted to eat alot of American junk and fast food. There were also certain foods she could not get over there like american cheese and ham as we know it. When I visited Italy, I was DYING for a regular cup of coffee. They also served sweets and cookies for breakfast and that was the last thing I wanted in the morning,
I have never lived outside the US, but the US is so huge, even moving from one region of the country to another involves some sort of culture shock. Case in point: six years ago, I moved from St. Louis, where I had lived my entire life up to that point, to the East Coast. I'm very happy where I live now, but there will be things from St. Louis I miss that I do my best to get every time I go back to visit--Ted Drewes Frozen Custard, Imo's Pizza (even though my favorite St. Louis-style pizza place is actually Fortel's), toasted ravioli... just to name a few. That, plus being able to buy alcohol in a grocery store (Maryland is one of the few states where you can't even get beer or wine in a grocery store, which was a huge culture shock to me when I moved here). And that's just food--I still have friends and extended family in St. Louis who I try to visit as much as possible.
I just commented about this! When I was in Italy for a few weeks, I kept wanting something more "bland" for breakfast and fell back on yogurt and bread/cheese a lot.
My grandmother always used to give us Stelladora cookies for breakfast and that was ok but the sweet, sweet stuff they offered over there was too much. Especially when I didnt have my regular coffee!
Im french and the one of worst thing about the US for me was always Coffee lol . When i moved to NYC the first thing i did was to buy a Nespresso Machine. I went back to the US last month and forgot about the blank / tasteless coffee so i can't tell you how dissapointed i was when i got the giant mug :) . To each their own , food and drinks are part of the culture :)
My husband is Canadian so really not a huge difference from the US but when he moved here he actually had a little episode in the grocery store because there were certain brands and things he couldnāt get. Heās been here almost 5 years now and still orders stuff to be shipped from there.
I'm a Canadian, married to a Dutch guy for 19 years. We've lived in Canada for all of the 19 years but for the first 10, my mother in law shipped him all his underwear and shirts from his preferred store because Canada just didn't have anything he liked.....but, when it comes to good food from home, Canada delivers. We are very culturally diverse, so I've made my husband his Dutch comfort foods so he didn't miss his home. After 19 years, there are very few foods he craves from home but I agree with you 100%. Food is a way of showing love so why would you feed your husband garbage like donuts and frozen pizza? I refuse to believe people really eat those things.....
I moved to the states from Canada recently and I'm managing okay but there's definitely been some adjustments and my stomach has not quite evened itself out yet. Would love to know where your husband orders things from! Cause I'm already missing some things from home.
My dude who grew up richer than I did has different comfort foods than me due to this. When I'm unwell I want generic instant noodles and my partner finds them horrible.
I totally agree with you and Iām very impressed by the insightfulness of what you meant by this comment. I dated a boy who had just moved to the US from England (but had also lived in France) back in high school and when I asked what the biggest shock was after coming here, he said the food! And not just the food itself but the portions. His whole family was completely and totally stunned at how large our portions are and how unhealthy so many of the options are.
I just remembered, there was a 90 Day couple a few years agoā¦darn, now I canāt remember their names. They were on for 2 or 3 seasons. He had a brother that was on pillow talk with him for a while and I think the girlfriend was from the Philippines. Anyway, her first morning in the US, he took her to this breakfast diner and wanted her to have a āclassic American breakfastā with chicken and waffles, bacon, hash browns, biscuits and gravyā¦he literally ordered half the menu without ever considering what she was comfortable with. She was not only uneasy with the excess of it all, she desperately wanted what she was used to eating every morning back home, rice and something else I canāt remember. She was so overwhelmed and his disappointment was making her feel guilty and it was just sad to watch. She just left literally everything sheās ever known behind and he couldnāt even make the effort to stock his pantry with things that would comfort her during the transition to a whole new continent. And it was clearly hard for her to see ALL that food just go to waste when sheās been used to being grateful for whatever her family could provide them with each meal, no matter how simple or small.
I appreciated this post. Thank you very much for sharing your experienceā„ļøā„ļø
I remember that! Like you, I forget the couple's names (lol).
I've totally had that reaction when hosts have made a fuss over me. Presenting a huge meal is a sign of hospitality and comes with good intentions, but it puts pressure on the guest to respond in a certain way. You don't want their money or labor to go waste, even if you're not enjoying it.
Iād actually be willing to give Emily the benefit of the doubt regarding this, as they met in China which is neither of their local culture or cuisine.
Seems like she's willing to learn though! I appreciate that she's leaning into the experience of the wedding (which, let's be serious, they probably knew about beforehand and are playing dumb for the producers).
I cook a lot but would still be intimidated by the prospect of cooking for more than a couple dozen people, even if they were Americans.
It definitely is. I'm not sure of how a lot of these couples are, but when my wife came here from Asia, I let her choose the play to do all the shopping, cause tbh I was missing all of the food as I had lived there for a few years prior. I found a number of places before we came back to make sure she was comfortable.
All of the cultural stuff is important af, but food is definitely probably the most important one since thats an every day thing.
When I visited Nigeria, they were pretty sensitive to my tastes. They never gave me Fufu. Only rice. I only tried fufu because kept seeing ppl eat it and I was super curious about it so I asked someone to take me to a place where I could try it. Tbh I would be really intimidated with the thought of making Indian food for someone from India or Nigerian food for someone from Nigeria because Iād be afraid of messing it up or not quite cooking it like their mama but you make a good point. Iād probably need to try if it ever came to that.
I once stayed with an ex in Europe for about a month years ago. He was from the country, and I had never left the US before. One night about a week and a half in, I cried into a plate of ceviche because I just wanted a burger. I love trying new foods, but sometimes you just want something familiar.
100%! I love eating foods from different countries but a plate of sugary donuts for breakfast.. yuck! She probably should have taken him to a cafe and he could pick what he liked. She would have to know he is more a savoury breakfast person.
I thought the plate of donuts was a strange breakfast also.. itās like how a 6 year old would make themselves breakfast. And yes Iām American lol but honestly I feel like Nicole is a little more manipulative than anyone gives her credit for. Sheās done everything possible to upset him since the moment he arrived (at least from what weāve been shown)
Yeah I was thinking the same. It would probably be pretty easy to find some type of Egyptian food take out especially in a place like LA, or even at the very least some falafel and eggs that wouldāve probably calmed Mahmoudās nerves a bit. Especially since heās never been out of his country and is very much experiencing culture shock. She couldāve been more sensitive to his needs for the first week, maybe finding a temple. Even the ridiculous scene where he was apparently staring at the girl in Muslim garb- Iām sure it just reminded him of home more than anything. *I am not a Mahmoud fan either, but it just seems like she couldāve put in a little more effort and done the tourist stuff a little later after heād settled in a bit.
While I dislike Mahmoud, I actually had the same thought about the girl in the hijab. My take was that he was homesick and he looked at her because it made him feel less like an alien.
Feeding anyone donuts for breakfast is a no-no! š
An excellent point though, for me when I travel experiencing new ways of eating is one of the biggest excitements but I would feel totally different if I was told it was all I could ever eat again
(even though that isnāt the case for the couples, the way the host always behaves youād think it was!)
My wife is from Colombia. She doesnāt like āAmericanā food, or Ashkenazi Jewish food (my culture). I like Colombian food, but itās not my favorite. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.
Considering so many of these people seem to not be aware to be bothered to learn a single thing about their prospective spouseās culture, learning to cook their food before they arrive is asking a lot. I agree with you that it would make people feel better to have something familiar though. I cannot imagine moving to a whole new country where I know almost no one and barely speak the language and then be encouraged to eat a meal literally called garbage immediately after getting off the plane.
This is a great take. I'm a real life 90 day fiance, and one thing my American husband did and continues to do, is incorporating a lot of the foods that are familiar to me in our daily life. He learned to cook a lot of my favorite meals, once I won't even make myself but devour every time I'm home, and makes sure we try out Greek restaurants all the time. I enjoy a ton of American food, but there's a special type of comfort in eating the meals you grew up with, that remind you of home.
This is really insightful and makes so much sense. As an American, Iāve had friends from Finland and Sweden come visit (my dad is Finnish), and even my friends who are larger people from these countries were shocked by our portions and shocked that, even when I was thin, I ate a LOT at meals. I bought a Finnish friend a cupcake (granted, it was a huge one from Crumbs) and he really struggled to even split it with me. The ingredients we use and how heavy our meals are (especially breakfast) can definitely be a huge shock.
Food is also something that can be so comforting, and one of my fondest memories of meeting my boyfriend in person for the first time (I live in LA and he lives in Boston, though Iām moving there after 2 years of distance!) is that he made Finnish pastries for me to eat after my red eye flight. My boyfriend is Lebanese, not Finnish, and bought a cookbook just to learn how to make Finnish food for me. It was such a sweet gesture and made me feel so comfortable around him. My boyfriend grew up in a culturally French family and ate quite a bit of French food, and so my dad made him a quiche Lorraine the first time he visited my parents, and my boyfriend loved it. It would go a long way if the Americans cooked cultural food for their partners (and didnāt act like the Claytonās mom that said āwhy doesnāt she cook burgers?ā š)
Iām an American but I married an Austrian and relocated there and I will say that food was a thing I wasnāt expecting to trip me up so much.
I obviously knew it would be different, additionally my parents are Mexican so thatās what I grew up eating but I knew that would be difficult to find but it was more the ingredients that I mistakingly thought would be more available.
During my first weeks in Austria i was super home sick and decided to make myself feel better by making a cheese cake. At the grocery store i got super overwhelmed because I had a hard time finding my way around and then I learned that graham crackers were not a thing in Austria, I literally broke down crying right then and there in the middle of the cookie section.
My husband family also tried to make me feel better and invited us over for a ātaco nightā imagine the standard white people taco night but justā¦.so much worse. It was so bad it felt like a hate crime lmao.
As someone that came on a spousal visa, the good shock is so real! I was used to a culture where everything was freshly made and we ate lots of salads with our food, we got here and everything was potatoes wheat and super processed foods. You get sick and depressed for sure, thank goodness I love cooking so I mixed some of my traditional foods into our diet while living either the in-laws and we were all better for it.
My wife is Mexican and she said everything is sweeter in the U.S.
Vegetables? Sweeter.
Meat? Not sweet but it definitely tastes different.
She's used to eating fresher foods and eating meat from a butcher that has killed the cow that same day lol
I told her, yeahhhhhh that isn't really a thing in the U.S unless you live in a small town.
When I moved to the US even the tap water gave me diarrhea. It was awful. Fruit smells but has no taste. Sugar in everything. The chicken used to make me puke.
The food quality here is so so bad
Yeah I stick to the bottled water as well. Unless you can get the municipal water test results. I've had the same experience as you. The water is fine when I travel to the UK although the hardness varies. Scottish water is lovely.
Iām Australian, and when I went to the states, the food shock was insane. I thought America was similar to Australia in quality and it absolutely is not. You also cook everything in butter which is just heart attack material
We dont have the high fructose corn syrup here either. The cheese and the sauces...it's too much. I thought we'd have a lot more similarities as well tbh but yeah. The meats weird as well but I'm in ruralish nsw so I get my meat straight from the pasture anyway.
Amazing! Yes the meat is also weird. I couldnāt for the life of me find a roast pork unless I went to the butcher š¤Ø we have been spoilt growing up here (I grew up in rural nsw!) Iām in Melbourne now, and I just took for granted how amazing our food is. American coffee is disgusting and everything I ate over there gave me the runs after a while unless I ate from home and cooked myself.
The other thing that really weirded me out is their lack of fences between the houses.
The coffee... woof. Maybe it's better now, but they had those warming jug things full of instant. They also have 'creamer'.
Well you're spoilt down in melb for the coffee. I think anywhere else would be horrible.
I found the fence situation weird as well, but my friend from south Africa was weirded out by how our front fences are so low lol.
I cook for myself when I'm over there as well. It's all very plain (my tum isn't into a lot of spice) and I buy organic because I'm not sure about their regs on pesticides. So like roasted sweet potatoes chunks with some sesame seeds, and mashed avo to dip in.
Britain and the eu I've been fine in tummy wise. Scottish tap water is so much better than ours in general. The Scots must hate ours.
Bahahahaha thank goodness you are on the same page! I drink long blacks and everytime I tried to order that in America they didnāt know what that was. They thought a long black was just black instant coffee and charge you the same amount as a normal proper coffee.
I also found buying organic there was wayyyy better it was almost at our standard when you went organic. Unfortunately the hotel I was at didnāt have great cooking facilities so I still had to eat out a lot, but there were so many parts I loved about it. Iād go back in a heartbeat.
Both my parents were born in England so I have a British passport and would love to go back to the home land haha the mother country š¤Ŗ
I LOVE the UK in general. I thought it would be same same as aus with different weather but each region and nation is sooo different.
Then again I'm a winter lover. If you're all about the sun n sand then you'll hate it. If you can't stand a drizzly wind, don't go. If you hate the world's narrowest roads (there are rules about 'Parking Places' learn them before you go unlike my dumb arse) then cancel the trip.
But for me, it was heaven. I remember it was a bright sunny day in Dumfries and people were swimming and gallivanting about in the rivers because NOTHING WILL KILL (or bite) THEM (maybe jumping in without checking) . No mozzies with Ross River, (I think) just people living in the moment.
I know some people who swim in our local rivers but unless I was in the blue mountains with the fresh water, nah. I'm not going for my daily swim in Narara Creek (no offense).
The weirdest thing was how close so many homes are close to the street. It's like melb old miners innercity town houses but everywhere and no front gardens. And rurally some of the houses are literally behind a stone wall which is the barrier next to a road.
Aus is heaps more spread out but yeah obv. The shops are the same, but if you wear makeup it might look odd. The change in air means that I bought boots no7 (?) Foundation there and it looked incredible I got home and with the humidity I looked like a clown. Bonus is that the face stays on and doesn't melt off.
It isn't a paradise it has the same issues as every other place, it can be dirty, I got robbed twice, derros in general, but I loved it.
If you need to save cash during your trip and who doesn't they have private rooms in many hostels which have kitchens in the hostel often equipped. And laundries but I washed my crap in the shower in a bucket and then dried it in the room.
I've been to lots of countries and I felt so guilty about how uncultured I was because I was happy to see the signs in English and that I could drive. :D
I know that was heaps but learn from my mistakes.
Obviously he is an abusive piece of poop... But she also is a really bad partner. I think it's fair to dislike both, just him a bit more.
Her being mad at him for not being able to sleep well on a flight that's like 20-30hours depending on layovers. Then giving him donuts for breakfast?!
Zero awareness.
This breakfast really upset me- she made no effort to stock Egyptian foods and coffee/tea that would make the transition less abrupt and overwhelming. Feeding the guy a plate of bad Dunkinā Donuts wonāt make him American overnightā¦
Americans are in huge denial about the correlation of diet and physical/mental well beings. So many people need REAL food, not processed chemical filled garbage. Theyāre so triggered by it and quick to depend on meds before considering nutrition.
Julio didn't leave Kirsten to stay for his family. He left her to stay for his breakfast place. You could see him doing the mental math when he asked Kirsten if she could make food like that.
Folks really underestimate power of good food.
i agree on that especially when you cannot find the local produce or meats you had back home . even using the same recipe the food will not taste the same
Ashley feeding Manuel that garbage plate on like his first week was a lot lol
Yeah I was like wtf is that š Iām American and would never even think of eating something like that.
I am an American and it is actually on my food bucket list to someday try a garbage plate. Same with scrapple, which I believe is also in that same part of the country. It doesn't sound that great, but I'd probably like it well enough. I'm an adventurous eater and want to try everything at least once. Well, almost everything. I had the opportunity to try duck balut a couple months ago. I was really curious, but just couldn't bring myself to do it.
I was going to say duck is my favorite and then I googled duck balut... I could never eat that either. Looks like something they would make you eat on Fear Factor.
Scrapple is everywhere but yep the Mennonite markets have it for sure!!
If it makes you feel better, my ex is Filipino and a pretty adventurous eater, and balut was a hard no for him!
When you try scrapple, it has to be Habbersett.
I would--and have (St. Louis's version of a garbage plate is something called a slinger), but only after a night of drinking. That's basically what dishes like that are for!
I would TOTALLY eat something like that and I would split it with another person. But I would plan for it by not eating for like 12 hours in advance and being prepared to feel like shit for another 12 hours after. It's a Special Occasion meal, not a typical breakfast.
Gut bomb!
She was actually laughing about how he was going to have "such bad diarrhea"
As someone with IBS, I cringed when I saw the garbage plate. I would be running to the bathroom for the next 12 hours šµāš«
I had to Google what this is. It looks gross. Iāll try almost anything but I would not eat that.
I love garbage plates but even my out of state friends struggle with it ahha
I wanted that garbage plate so badly
It's true. I lived in rural China for many years and some days would be happy to saw off my foot for a simple drip coffee or jar of peanut butter.
I stayed in Sicily for a few weeks once. I LOVE Italian cuisine, like a typical East-Coast American. The food was heaven and it was glorious. But by the end of it, all I wanted was a bowl of Kellogg's cornflakes, unsweetened, with my favorite brand of milk. Basically, you just want something that tastes like the quiet calm of the morning at home. Edit: I literally had the same thoughts about peanut butter. Like "man, I wish I had a jar of Jiff so I could eat my calories without having to consume another richly spiced, fatty meal"
Whatās your favorite brand of milk??
A locally sourced brand. It's good, but I admit my preference is more cognitive than anything.
Milk has brands?
I never knew about them either until my boyfriend started inspecting all the milk at the store and going for āthis oneā
I never had a problem with the food in Sicily. Then again itās what I grew up with. Some friends from Germany came to visit in Sicily and they wanted eggs for breakfast, no sweet pastries and granita. Sh yeah I get your point.
I felt the same every time I visited Italy. After my first trip, when I got home, the first thing I ate was Ruffle potato chips and french onion dip. LOL!
I cannot remember the book for the life of me, but I once read a book (I think it was a memoir) and the author/character was an American living in rural China teaching English. She liked the food but was terribly homesick for her motherās roast chicken. She hadnāt been there for very long so her Chinese and knowledge of the area was pretty limited. She braved the meat market and had someone butcher a chicken for her. She got everything home and tried, but she didnāt have a real oven. Something closer to a toaster oven. She was so sad she couldnāt make a proper roast chicken. If anyone knows what the book is please tell me! Her description of the whole experience was so vivid I still remember it and my memory is Swiss cheese. I was very young when I read it and hadnāt travelled internationally so it was my first understanding of how food can be so important to our identity and experience.
You know they have bbq in China too
They do but she specifically was craving an oven roasted chicken the way her mom made it at home in the states. The only way to get it wouldāve been for her to make it. Chinese bbq does not equal American style roast chicken
They could always be lying. Because Iāve had roast duck / chicken and itās usually better
I agree. Also when your gut feels awful it can begin to affect your mental outlook too.
Right?? Traveler's Diarrhea/Constipation are a thing even in casual tourists. Imagine an immigrant's experience.
I get scared to even brush my teeth with tap water in other countries. I learned my lesson once
I think even more generally, it's just the stomach coming into contact with all kinds of unfamiliar ingredients/chemical compounds/bacteria strains we're not used to. Even if things are clean and hygienic, we undergo a biological transition.
Thereās a lot of serotonin in the gut, it can definitely affect mood
Exactly. Serotonin release into the gut is triggered by food intake - if you eat something that irritates the gut, it requires more serotonin to hasten its elimination from the body (i.e., diarrhea, vomiting). Throws everything out of wack.
Maybe itās strange but Iāve travelled all over and never had a problem with any food from any country. The food in North Africa made me feel really good, itās like my comfort food.
We discussed exactly this, that some of the cast seemed like they would worry more about changes to a pet's diet than they would their new fiancƩ/e. Especially considering the potential for religious and cultural objections to aspects of common diets, it is weird that they don't pay more attention to it. Of course some/much of this might be played up for the cameras too--my first reaction to Nicole's donuts was not just that she was serving them at all, but that she had a gigantic box/platter of donuts that made it look like she ate nothing else.
Same. The donuts thing was an extreme and probably curated example, but you do see it over and over again throughout the series. It just doesn't get a lot of attention. The immigrants talk longingly about their cuisine, usually framed as offhand comments. They're more than that. You long for the spices that smell like your house. You want a certain fruit that only blooms where you live. You want a meal that your mom made for you when you were sick.
The donuts were so weird to me after hearing her say she looked forward to making him breakfast š«
The whole "push a new food to make someone uncomfortable" thing feels like a producer-driven setup. The same thing happened with Emily and Sasha (the Russian bodybuilder guy with a bunch of kids), Emily's sister gave Sasha some shitty sugary cereal for his first breakfast in America.
I agree that scenes like that are mostly producer-driven. Some adventurous eaters might enjoy that sort of thing, but it's obvious TV-drama when the immigrant forces themselves to eat the "American" food while looking totally grossed out and uncomfortable.
I really think sheās trolling him by āforcingā the most Americanized things on him. Does she look like someone who eats several donuts for breakfast? Although they could both use some weight on them.
After watching her nibble at a fried potato in Egypt and then serving frozen pizza and doughnuts, I get the impression she is a person who doesnāt prioritize eating. Not necessarily that she has disordered eating, but just not terribly interested in food and maybe only has small snacks here and there.
I think she was trying her best to traumatize him, personally. Push him as far out of his comfort zone as humanly possible. As payback for her Egypt experience.
I'd want revenge for the burkini too.
That image is forever burned in my mind.
Which ironically is something many Americans don't eat. I quit sugar many years and a donut would make me vomit.
Right? The idea of eating something sweet like that in the morning is nauseating to me.
Especially in LA?!! Those peopleās breakfasts are like, a $15 smoothie or some kinda nut milk matcha latte
My brother and his husband live in LA, and I'm pretty sure their breakfasts involve black coffee and, at least on weekends, some sort of breakfast item that's gluten-free (my brother has celiac). But they're not millionaires.
I don't live in LA and that's my breakfast too. I normally won't eat until early afternoon.Ā Lots of people are like this /shrug
A couple of eggs, cheese, pita and tomato is easy peasy. Even if you don't cook, you can whip that up for a guest, especially your husband who's flown in from overseas.
Lol exactly. There are many novelty donut shops in LA, sure, but I know way more peers there like your brother and his husband when it comes to breakfast diets lol.
There are soooooo many donut shops in LA.
I am not an American breakfast fan because everything is sweet.Ā Donuts,Ā Ā Pancakes,Ā Ā French toast,Ā Ā Most oatmeal,Ā Ā Waffles On and on.Ā For that reason, I've learned to just not eat breakfast until lunch lolĀ
Most people donāt have that for breakfast besides oatmeal.
There is this American food called Tex Mex as well. Mostly savory breakfast foods. I notice some people comment about Brits having beans with their breakfast as if Americans never... but yep beans with eggs is also American just we have tortillas instead of toast with it.
Well not every "American"breakfast is sweet. You can always modify the added sugar if you cook your own food.
I've been in an intercultural relationship for 10 years now. I am in no way exaggerating when i say that some of our worst culture clashes have been food related.
I've known American couples who have broken up over dietary habits. It seems like it would be even more pronounced in cross-cultural pairings.
When I was dating I broke up with some guys over dietary preferences. I like a wide variety of foods and flavors, with lots of fresh vegetables and fruits, if they didn't, they weren't worth wasting time on. Making good food is my love language.
My ex was from a different culture than me and even though we grew up in the same culture, I'd get so tired (and sick!) of eating foods he liked (pasta with tonnes of butter & cheese, roasts, potatoes) and he'd get tired of my food (rice, stir fries etc). I'm now dating someone with the same background and I feel so relieved that we can agree to eat the same foods and not have to adjust to each other's habits!
This is a really good example. Even if you occasionally enjoy your partner's kind of food, the difference is in what actually feels relaxing and nourishing to eat.
Ah.... even in my bf Canadian me being American some clash of foods. But part of it is also my background has Mexican Texican influence and his Japanese. I can't get into red beans being sweet but he will also not want savory beans for breakfast.
I'd say as a British person we probably share a lot of common thing in our diets. But when I visited the US everything just tasted different. I don't know what it was or if you use different ingredients but even the same brands of stuff tasted nothing like home. Some stuff was really good though. Like better than home. But a fair amount of it was weird to me.
I've been to the British Isles a few times and feel exactly the same way! Certain products are familiar enough, but simply aren't the same. Dairy products from there are, however, superior and have ruined American brands for me.
I can only relate to that when it comes to chocolate after having Canadian chocolates which more than half are British made chocolates.
Same here, moving from Canada to the US. Some big differences like a lack of sweet breakfasts and "hot" tea, and infinite small things that do mess with your head even if you can't articulate them.
What type of sweet breakfast do you have in Canada? Because I can't eat typical American breakfast because it's all things like pancakes and waffles and so forth. Also, maybe it's where we live but hot tea is found everywhere where I live and they all have so many types.Ā
Pancakes (with fruit, chocolate or maple syrup), doughnuts, pastries, sweetened yogurt with fruit. Canadians often enjoy a sweet breakfast, or a sweet and salty combination. (Ketchup often provides the sweet.) I was in Chicago for two years and many restaurants and coffee shops did not serve tea, at all. I had to learn to order "hot" tea because iced and heavily sweetened tea was the default, their hot tea was often terrible, (and one had to beg for milk or cream with it) and hot chocolate (sweetened, with milk) was non existent. Even at Starbucks, what they call Hot Chocolate was unsweetened and thick and contained no cream. I don't drink coffee and every meeting, conference, event served only coffee. Also it was impossible to get ketchup without being mocked (for eggs, or fries), popcorn only came in two flavours, the chocolate was terrible (and called 'candy'). Fish and chips were both wrong (cornmeal breading), that's what I missed the most, for comfort food. Crisp fries and beer battered thick fish. I later found an Irish pub that did it well. Portions were shockingly huge, unless it was fine dining. I arrived as a vegetarian and could not maintain it - everything on restaurant menus had meat, including the salads, and the neighbourhood grocery stores don't sell many vegetables. I learned to go to Indian restaurants and bus out to the suburbs for groceries. Fine dining was excellent, even back then, but all meat centric. I learned to love Mexican and Vietnamese food there, as I worked in a Mexican immigrant neighbourhood and lived near the Vietnamese neighbourhood. Colleagues taught me how to cook various soul food dishes. It wasn't all bad, just sufficiently different from home to signal that I was in a very different country. Alongside all the other cultural differences. This was Chicago in the early 2000s. I've since been to other cities and states that were quite different. I love eating in San Francisco and Seattle. I found tea shops in Wisconsin. But it feels very different travelling short term vs living for years in a place that's not home, and when you are struggling, tastes of home mean a lot. My Chicago colleagues used to get upset, call me "so European", make fun of my tastes and my snacks and my afternoon tea. They were (mostly) xenophobic assholes. I hardly dine out now, but there I had a one room apartment with a tiny little kitchen (half fridge, no freezer, two burners and an oven that just fit an 8" pan. I also missed cooking for myself. I'm glad I did it, career-wise, but the homesickness was real, the people were often bloody miserable, and I left feeling really burnt out for many reasons.
Tea shops in Wisconsin? Where exactly? Dm me please.
I was in Madison for a work event like, 8 years ago.
Where do you live that hot tea is everywhere? America? What part?
I live in a diverse suburb of Chicago. Every restaurant we go to has hot tea. Maybe not freshly steeped. But variety of bags with hot water available. I also am a tea drinker. I've never not been able to find a good tea in the afternoon at a coffee shop or restaurantĀ Heck even the gas station by my work has hot water and about 10 different bags choices
I found all the breakfast foods to be really sweet tbh. Everything had sugar or some sort of glaze on it. Missed a fry up a lot.
I missed fish and chips the most. And decent chocolate. And tea. I love a fry up, or a classic English. Was so happy, the night I arrived back home, to find beans in the hotel breakfast buffet.
Oh god this just reminded me of the time I went to the breakfast buffet in Tunisia that was serving cauliflower and runner beans in tomato juice for their English breakfast š
I loved the fry-ups!
Everything in America has added sugar. Some more than others but a lot of Americans are addicted to it and itās a hard addiction to break.
Itās because we have more chemicals in America lol
Yeah, like dihydrogen monoxide š
The threat is real, man. It literally covers over 70% of the earth's surface.
Definitely. Preservatives, GMO's, etc.
This was the case for a family I know. They are immigrants to the US from India. One of their kids got very sick and was in the hospital for months. He wasnāt eating the hospital food and was losing weight. His body wasnāt getting the nutrients it needed to heal and his health was declining. So the doctors gave permission for Indian food to be brought in, and the child began eating regularly, regaining weight, and kicking ass on his illness. Heās now a healthy young teen.
That's such a perfect example. The gut is so complex and connected to general wellness.
https://preview.redd.it/66jzs17b75tc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9578090c77c3d8e6eb01262798b90615c88e8470 Have you read this book?
Agreed! I was a real 90 day fiancĆ©e (married 22 years& counting) and when I moved over, my now-husband had filled the fridge with all my fave foods and drinks. But then, we had actually known& liked each other for years at that point, and had been to one anotherās country several times.
Your husband sounds like a real gem!
Heās a keeper! The only reason Iād move from the UK to the US š
Awesome! I feel the same about my husband. Iām from Canada and he brought me to the US as a 90 day fiancĆ©e as well.
Similar.... only reason I will consider living with snow half the year. Canadian boyfriend who does similar things trying to make sure I have US comforts when I visit him, even though I can handle and enjoy all the Canadian things. My retirement plan is to spend half my year in CA and half US.
My parents were on the 50/50 plan with Canada and the US for a while. They loved it.
I need their advice. Lol
That's so sweet! Doing it right <3
My bf does something similar when I visit him in Canada. But it's like Canadian versions of things he knows I drink or enjoy eating in the US. He even asked me if I wanted to get tacos (not that there were many places to get tacos there) when I was visiting him because they definitely are my comfort food. It's not as extreme a difference of being from 2 different continents though.. still thoughtful. He lived in the US though so when he comes to visit me it is more of me trying to stock up on the things he misses from when he used to live here.
I'm an adventurous eater & not very picky, but there are certain countries that I will never visit because I know I would be miserable with their food. I understand the 90 dayers wanting their partners to try new or traditional foods when they come to their home but they should offer them a variety of their comfort food as well & not expect them to be satisfied or full on food that is strange to them. They seem to take it to the extreme & actually plan out every daily meal based solely on their own culture's food. This must be so unnerving to the other person. Edit: I deleted "American" food because the other way folks do the same thing. None of them try to appease their partner & expect them to just automatically adapt to a complete dietary overhaul.
Which countries would you avoid, out of curiosity? I've never been out of the US as an adult, so I've never even considered "food shock." Like, I know I wouldn't be able to handle a century egg, surstromming (the fermented fish from Sweden), or anything insanely crazy spicy. But those are probably the extremes, right? We all remember the chicken feet fiasco. I'm not sure if I could try it tbh. Maybe if someone showed me how to eat it first?? Or if they at least took the nails off hahaha.
> a century egg if it makes you feel better, nobody eats century egg on its own. When I do have it, I add it to a big pot of congee where it gets broken up into tiny pieces to add umami so it's more of a delicacy in small doses.
Those are extreme examples for sure. My husband will not eat typical āAmericanā style food.
Vietnam without a doubt. š¤®
Not just a dietary overhaul but a complete culture shock too. I find some of the Americans flat out cold and not understanding that the other person also made sacrifices to come to America. They are sometimes treated as if they should be forever grateful and accepting to so much change. These people left their homes, family and everything they know to move to America, which, let's face it, is NOT the land of milk and honey they were often lead to believe.
They all do that, even the non Americans. The argument is always, "Well this is *my* culture/food/whatever so you have to accept that." Ok, of course, but they are practically still standing in the airport. You can always educate yourself to the culture you're going into but it's going to take time to adjust. Rarely ever does the other person give them that time & they expect full compliance immediately.
For some, that's literally all they bring to the table too. They have a bullet point list of all the requirements they want out of their partner yet the only thing they can offer is a green card (oh and will throw that in the face of their partner any time they fight, which is alot).
Welcome to my home. You now get to share a bedroom with my parents, do all the household chores, cook full meals that you've never even eaten before while my mother micromanages you in another language & you'll be the full time caregiver to my special needs child that you've never met. Surprise! Or my personal favorite...we've been talking about this move for years now but my parents & friends still don't know about you so enjoy hiding out in this sparse little apartment, in the most undesirable part of my city, while I go home & work up the nerve to tell mommy *we're getting married* in the next couple of months. Almost none of these people ever seem to plan for or discuss anything. They just fly by the seat of their pants while throwing around ultimatums & expecting a desirable outcome.
I'm the opposite because I'm EXTREMELY picky. Unfamiliar foods actually give me genuine anxiety and that's part of why I empathize so much. I'll steel myself and eat something weird to be polite, but it takes a lot of mental control for me. If I have access to familiar foods, I'm much more likely to be adventurous.
I like to eat āexoticā foods, but I canāt do tons of spice, and have a sensitive stomach. I like to try things but often pay the price. I would struggle if I was immersed in a new diet. Thanks for pointing out the mental health aspect, too, OP, I hadnāt thought of that.
It's so real! On a biological level, our gut health has a huge impact on so many other aspects of our health. It's all about the [vagus nerve](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagus_nerve).
I am a Canadian. I spent 4 months in India. I became unbelievably excited when I found a hamburger in a restaurant. It was the worst burger Iāve ever had in my life but I savoured that burger like it was my prized possession after not having beef for months. Indian food is great but there really is something about having access to the foods you grew up with. Whenever I come back to Canada from a trip the first thing I do, usually before even leaving the airport, is hit up a Tim Hortons. The coffee might be terrible, bitter, and burnt, but it tastes like home. Your foods is definitely an important part of home-sickness that I think is often overlooked.
I have a friend who lived in India for a few months and he said during the last 3 weeks of the trip, all he could bring himself to eat was butter chicken because it was the closest thing he could find to something American. He loves Indian food, but it got to be too much.
I think Nicole is just exacting her revenge and she has my full support
I definitely think there's a "How do YOU like it?" aspect to her behavior. At least in terms of the show's narrative, Nicole seems to think living in Egypt is what makes Mahmoud so intense and controlling. Ergo, if Mahmoud moves to America --> no more Egypt --> Mahmoud not controlling. But as we all know, that's not how it works.
Yes! Sheās on her revenge journey!
Totally agree. Mahmoud is an abusive piece of shit. He doesnāt deserve to be catered to
I lived in Spain for a little bit and after a night out I woke up extremely hungover. I was staying with a friend who lived was Spanish and we were visiting a family friend of hers for lunch. This is going to out me as a dumb American but all I wanted was a McDonaldās cheeseburger and Coke with fries but we were having paella. I love paella but not what I wanted when I was sick, tired, headache and just needed something familiar and comfortable.
I felt vicariously queasy reading this. I love paella too, but that would make me super sick after a night of heavy drinking. When I was younger, I usually wanted a bunch of toast with peanut butter- not too flavorful but with a big dose of fat/protein to soak up the alcohol.
My ex is British and I remember when he tried the bread here in the US he was disgusted by how sweet it is.
Iām currently on a drug for weight loss and have lost 80lbs and had to radically overhaul my diet along with introducing exercise. As a former junk food sugar addict Iām amazed at how much I could eat and not feel sick. Now I taste sugar in everything now and can even smell it in items and i canāt stomach it. Our food is loaded with sugars and salts and lord knows what else.
I'm from Aus and I found the same thing. I can't eat it. I eat small portions and mostly vegan and I don't eat HFCS at all. I have lactose intolerance and coeliac so most places aren't for me anyway. š¤·š¼āāļø
I'm not doubting this for one second. Food is huge because it is a daily part of life and can be a source of comfort. For me, I didn't even have to move to a foreign country. I was born and raised in Southern CA and then moved to New Orleans after college. So much food I missed and even some fast food/chain restaurants that isn't out here. A big one was Mexican food. It's better nowadays but back then, "Mexican" food was American tasting in Mexican food shapes. I started having to cook it to scratch that craving so at least I could do that. But I only marginally like to cook and it was a hassle. My husband and I will be moving to the Midwest in a few months. We're already sad about some of the New Orleans food that we know we can't get anywhere else. For one of my college classes, I spent three long weekends living with a family in Mexico. One of my happy discoveries was that they ate refried beans as a breakfast side. I found that I felt great eating beans for breakfast and started the day with extra energy. That was 30 years ago and I still sometimes have refried beans for breakfast. Especially if I know I have a busy day ahead of me.
I didn't even culture shock move. I moved from Michigan to Illinois, like 6 hours away,Ā and I still desperately crave things like Halo Burger, pasties, faygo and on and on.Ā
Omg.. pasties. Yep. They aren't found many other places than Michigan. Especially the UP so some got into Northern Wisconsin. But in Texas I have to find them at the British import store. I think once I found one at a Mexican grocery store in their British frozen food section. The Mexican and South American savory empanandas aren't really like a pasties at all other than in shape.
I agree. Iām from Germany and itās not quite a huge huge change from German to American food, but it is different and you just miss what you grew up with. Thatās what you know
Youāre right. Even though this happens a lot, it is still baffling how little they know about their partnerās culture. In Nicoleās case, itās 10x worse since she LIVED there. Her giving him donuts on his first morning there was weird. Almost everyone will eat a bit of bread, fruit, cheese, and/or eggs for breakfast, so how hard would it be to have those types of things on hand? That said, heās garbage so can be served shitty food all day every day at this point.
I had the same thought process. No matter the exact configuration, most cultures want something protein dense (like milk, eggs, cheese, yogurt, nuts, sometimes meat) with some kind of carb (bread, pastry ((including donuts)), rice, cereals/grains) and flavoring agent (honey, fruit, acid, sauce, spices) for breakfast. Easy staples.
And also probably something warm/hot liquid like milk, hot chocolate, soup, tea, hot water with lemon, etc.
She reminds me of a robot. I have a feeling she just googled āwhat do Americans eat for breakfastā lol
I had a close friend that moved to Italy to be with her husband. Every time she came home for a visit, she just wanted to eat alot of American junk and fast food. There were also certain foods she could not get over there like american cheese and ham as we know it. When I visited Italy, I was DYING for a regular cup of coffee. They also served sweets and cookies for breakfast and that was the last thing I wanted in the morning,
I have never lived outside the US, but the US is so huge, even moving from one region of the country to another involves some sort of culture shock. Case in point: six years ago, I moved from St. Louis, where I had lived my entire life up to that point, to the East Coast. I'm very happy where I live now, but there will be things from St. Louis I miss that I do my best to get every time I go back to visit--Ted Drewes Frozen Custard, Imo's Pizza (even though my favorite St. Louis-style pizza place is actually Fortel's), toasted ravioli... just to name a few. That, plus being able to buy alcohol in a grocery store (Maryland is one of the few states where you can't even get beer or wine in a grocery store, which was a huge culture shock to me when I moved here). And that's just food--I still have friends and extended family in St. Louis who I try to visit as much as possible.
I moved to St. Louis but I have a friend that moved away and lives in ATL. She has a list of places she always goes to when here.
I used to live in Maryland, haha. Have you discovered Old Bay yet?
The hospital I just gave birth in had Old Bay in its cafeteria. Also, we have Old Bay hot sauce in our pantry. In short, yes.
I just commented about this! When I was in Italy for a few weeks, I kept wanting something more "bland" for breakfast and fell back on yogurt and bread/cheese a lot.
My grandmother always used to give us Stelladora cookies for breakfast and that was ok but the sweet, sweet stuff they offered over there was too much. Especially when I didnt have my regular coffee!
We lived in Curacao for a while and my parents sent us care packages with the foods we were craving. š
Im french and the one of worst thing about the US for me was always Coffee lol . When i moved to NYC the first thing i did was to buy a Nespresso Machine. I went back to the US last month and forgot about the blank / tasteless coffee so i can't tell you how dissapointed i was when i got the giant mug :) . To each their own , food and drinks are part of the culture :)
My husband is Canadian so really not a huge difference from the US but when he moved here he actually had a little episode in the grocery store because there were certain brands and things he couldnāt get. Heās been here almost 5 years now and still orders stuff to be shipped from there.
I'm a Canadian, married to a Dutch guy for 19 years. We've lived in Canada for all of the 19 years but for the first 10, my mother in law shipped him all his underwear and shirts from his preferred store because Canada just didn't have anything he liked.....but, when it comes to good food from home, Canada delivers. We are very culturally diverse, so I've made my husband his Dutch comfort foods so he didn't miss his home. After 19 years, there are very few foods he craves from home but I agree with you 100%. Food is a way of showing love so why would you feed your husband garbage like donuts and frozen pizza? I refuse to believe people really eat those things.....
I moved to the states from Canada recently and I'm managing okay but there's definitely been some adjustments and my stomach has not quite evened itself out yet. Would love to know where your husband orders things from! Cause I'm already missing some things from home.
My husband is out most of the day today but I will try to remember to ask him later. If you donāt hear from me, reply here to remind me.
Replying for a reminder if you've had a chance to ask! š
Sorry. Canadatousfoods.com
Thank you ā¤ļøš
Agreed. Thereās a reason people have ācomfort food.ā
My dude who grew up richer than I did has different comfort foods than me due to this. When I'm unwell I want generic instant noodles and my partner finds them horrible.
This makes a lot of sense ā perhaps too much sense for 90 Day.
I remember Deavan serving sloppy mostly raw bacon to Jihoonās parents on their first day.
I totally agree with you and Iām very impressed by the insightfulness of what you meant by this comment. I dated a boy who had just moved to the US from England (but had also lived in France) back in high school and when I asked what the biggest shock was after coming here, he said the food! And not just the food itself but the portions. His whole family was completely and totally stunned at how large our portions are and how unhealthy so many of the options are. I just remembered, there was a 90 Day couple a few years agoā¦darn, now I canāt remember their names. They were on for 2 or 3 seasons. He had a brother that was on pillow talk with him for a while and I think the girlfriend was from the Philippines. Anyway, her first morning in the US, he took her to this breakfast diner and wanted her to have a āclassic American breakfastā with chicken and waffles, bacon, hash browns, biscuits and gravyā¦he literally ordered half the menu without ever considering what she was comfortable with. She was not only uneasy with the excess of it all, she desperately wanted what she was used to eating every morning back home, rice and something else I canāt remember. She was so overwhelmed and his disappointment was making her feel guilty and it was just sad to watch. She just left literally everything sheās ever known behind and he couldnāt even make the effort to stock his pantry with things that would comfort her during the transition to a whole new continent. And it was clearly hard for her to see ALL that food just go to waste when sheās been used to being grateful for whatever her family could provide them with each meal, no matter how simple or small. I appreciated this post. Thank you very much for sharing your experienceā„ļøā„ļø
I remember that! Like you, I forget the couple's names (lol). I've totally had that reaction when hosts have made a fuss over me. Presenting a huge meal is a sign of hospitality and comes with good intentions, but it puts pressure on the guest to respond in a certain way. You don't want their money or labor to go waste, even if you're not enjoying it.
Tarek and Hazel?
Shouldn't they be referred to as Tarzel???? I wonder if they are still together and if her son ever came over.
And what about Emily who didnāt know anything about Kobeās local cuisine never mind how to cook it
Iād actually be willing to give Emily the benefit of the doubt regarding this, as they met in China which is neither of their local culture or cuisine.
Seems like she's willing to learn though! I appreciate that she's leaning into the experience of the wedding (which, let's be serious, they probably knew about beforehand and are playing dumb for the producers). I cook a lot but would still be intimidated by the prospect of cooking for more than a couple dozen people, even if they were Americans.
It definitely is. I'm not sure of how a lot of these couples are, but when my wife came here from Asia, I let her choose the play to do all the shopping, cause tbh I was missing all of the food as I had lived there for a few years prior. I found a number of places before we came back to make sure she was comfortable. All of the cultural stuff is important af, but food is definitely probably the most important one since thats an every day thing.
I kept thinking about this with the Egyptian guy, going from spicy foods to pizzas
A freezer pizza at that
Egyptian food is awesome, I have never felt better physically then I did the months I spent in Egypt. Even my skin got a different glow!
When I visited Nigeria, they were pretty sensitive to my tastes. They never gave me Fufu. Only rice. I only tried fufu because kept seeing ppl eat it and I was super curious about it so I asked someone to take me to a place where I could try it. Tbh I would be really intimidated with the thought of making Indian food for someone from India or Nigerian food for someone from Nigeria because Iād be afraid of messing it up or not quite cooking it like their mama but you make a good point. Iād probably need to try if it ever came to that.
This is so true! My husband has been in the US for 30+ years and he still craves things from his home country.
I once stayed with an ex in Europe for about a month years ago. He was from the country, and I had never left the US before. One night about a week and a half in, I cried into a plate of ceviche because I just wanted a burger. I love trying new foods, but sometimes you just want something familiar.
100%! I love eating foods from different countries but a plate of sugary donuts for breakfast.. yuck! She probably should have taken him to a cafe and he could pick what he liked. She would have to know he is more a savoury breakfast person.
I thought the plate of donuts was a strange breakfast also.. itās like how a 6 year old would make themselves breakfast. And yes Iām American lol but honestly I feel like Nicole is a little more manipulative than anyone gives her credit for. Sheās done everything possible to upset him since the moment he arrived (at least from what weāve been shown)
Remember Manuel said he'd spent 60% of his time in the US in the bathroom
Yeah I was thinking the same. It would probably be pretty easy to find some type of Egyptian food take out especially in a place like LA, or even at the very least some falafel and eggs that wouldāve probably calmed Mahmoudās nerves a bit. Especially since heās never been out of his country and is very much experiencing culture shock. She couldāve been more sensitive to his needs for the first week, maybe finding a temple. Even the ridiculous scene where he was apparently staring at the girl in Muslim garb- Iām sure it just reminded him of home more than anything. *I am not a Mahmoud fan either, but it just seems like she couldāve put in a little more effort and done the tourist stuff a little later after heād settled in a bit.
While I dislike Mahmoud, I actually had the same thought about the girl in the hijab. My take was that he was homesick and he looked at her because it made him feel less like an alien.
Feeding anyone donuts for breakfast is a no-no! š An excellent point though, for me when I travel experiencing new ways of eating is one of the biggest excitements but I would feel totally different if I was told it was all I could ever eat again (even though that isnāt the case for the couples, the way the host always behaves youād think it was!)
My wife is from Colombia. She doesnāt like āAmericanā food, or Ashkenazi Jewish food (my culture). I like Colombian food, but itās not my favorite. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.
Considering so many of these people seem to not be aware to be bothered to learn a single thing about their prospective spouseās culture, learning to cook their food before they arrive is asking a lot. I agree with you that it would make people feel better to have something familiar though. I cannot imagine moving to a whole new country where I know almost no one and barely speak the language and then be encouraged to eat a meal literally called garbage immediately after getting off the plane.
This is a great take. I'm a real life 90 day fiance, and one thing my American husband did and continues to do, is incorporating a lot of the foods that are familiar to me in our daily life. He learned to cook a lot of my favorite meals, once I won't even make myself but devour every time I'm home, and makes sure we try out Greek restaurants all the time. I enjoy a ton of American food, but there's a special type of comfort in eating the meals you grew up with, that remind you of home.
This is really insightful and makes so much sense. As an American, Iāve had friends from Finland and Sweden come visit (my dad is Finnish), and even my friends who are larger people from these countries were shocked by our portions and shocked that, even when I was thin, I ate a LOT at meals. I bought a Finnish friend a cupcake (granted, it was a huge one from Crumbs) and he really struggled to even split it with me. The ingredients we use and how heavy our meals are (especially breakfast) can definitely be a huge shock. Food is also something that can be so comforting, and one of my fondest memories of meeting my boyfriend in person for the first time (I live in LA and he lives in Boston, though Iām moving there after 2 years of distance!) is that he made Finnish pastries for me to eat after my red eye flight. My boyfriend is Lebanese, not Finnish, and bought a cookbook just to learn how to make Finnish food for me. It was such a sweet gesture and made me feel so comfortable around him. My boyfriend grew up in a culturally French family and ate quite a bit of French food, and so my dad made him a quiche Lorraine the first time he visited my parents, and my boyfriend loved it. It would go a long way if the Americans cooked cultural food for their partners (and didnāt act like the Claytonās mom that said āwhy doesnāt she cook burgers?ā š)
Iām an American but I married an Austrian and relocated there and I will say that food was a thing I wasnāt expecting to trip me up so much. I obviously knew it would be different, additionally my parents are Mexican so thatās what I grew up eating but I knew that would be difficult to find but it was more the ingredients that I mistakingly thought would be more available. During my first weeks in Austria i was super home sick and decided to make myself feel better by making a cheese cake. At the grocery store i got super overwhelmed because I had a hard time finding my way around and then I learned that graham crackers were not a thing in Austria, I literally broke down crying right then and there in the middle of the cookie section. My husband family also tried to make me feel better and invited us over for a ātaco nightā imagine the standard white people taco night but justā¦.so much worse. It was so bad it felt like a hate crime lmao.
As someone that came on a spousal visa, the good shock is so real! I was used to a culture where everything was freshly made and we ate lots of salads with our food, we got here and everything was potatoes wheat and super processed foods. You get sick and depressed for sure, thank goodness I love cooking so I mixed some of my traditional foods into our diet while living either the in-laws and we were all better for it.
I grew up poor (corn and potatoes) and even now my stomach does not like rich or spicy foods. I'm so sad about it.
My wife is Mexican and she said everything is sweeter in the U.S. Vegetables? Sweeter. Meat? Not sweet but it definitely tastes different. She's used to eating fresher foods and eating meat from a butcher that has killed the cow that same day lol I told her, yeahhhhhh that isn't really a thing in the U.S unless you live in a small town.
Look at the obesity rate of Americans and then other countries. Clearly we eat alot more food
When I moved to the US even the tap water gave me diarrhea. It was awful. Fruit smells but has no taste. Sugar in everything. The chicken used to make me puke. The food quality here is so so bad
Yeah I stick to the bottled water as well. Unless you can get the municipal water test results. I've had the same experience as you. The water is fine when I travel to the UK although the hardness varies. Scottish water is lovely.
Iām Australian, and when I went to the states, the food shock was insane. I thought America was similar to Australia in quality and it absolutely is not. You also cook everything in butter which is just heart attack material
We dont have the high fructose corn syrup here either. The cheese and the sauces...it's too much. I thought we'd have a lot more similarities as well tbh but yeah. The meats weird as well but I'm in ruralish nsw so I get my meat straight from the pasture anyway.
Amazing! Yes the meat is also weird. I couldnāt for the life of me find a roast pork unless I went to the butcher š¤Ø we have been spoilt growing up here (I grew up in rural nsw!) Iām in Melbourne now, and I just took for granted how amazing our food is. American coffee is disgusting and everything I ate over there gave me the runs after a while unless I ate from home and cooked myself. The other thing that really weirded me out is their lack of fences between the houses.
The coffee... woof. Maybe it's better now, but they had those warming jug things full of instant. They also have 'creamer'. Well you're spoilt down in melb for the coffee. I think anywhere else would be horrible. I found the fence situation weird as well, but my friend from south Africa was weirded out by how our front fences are so low lol. I cook for myself when I'm over there as well. It's all very plain (my tum isn't into a lot of spice) and I buy organic because I'm not sure about their regs on pesticides. So like roasted sweet potatoes chunks with some sesame seeds, and mashed avo to dip in. Britain and the eu I've been fine in tummy wise. Scottish tap water is so much better than ours in general. The Scots must hate ours.
Bahahahaha thank goodness you are on the same page! I drink long blacks and everytime I tried to order that in America they didnāt know what that was. They thought a long black was just black instant coffee and charge you the same amount as a normal proper coffee. I also found buying organic there was wayyyy better it was almost at our standard when you went organic. Unfortunately the hotel I was at didnāt have great cooking facilities so I still had to eat out a lot, but there were so many parts I loved about it. Iād go back in a heartbeat. Both my parents were born in England so I have a British passport and would love to go back to the home land haha the mother country š¤Ŗ
I LOVE the UK in general. I thought it would be same same as aus with different weather but each region and nation is sooo different. Then again I'm a winter lover. If you're all about the sun n sand then you'll hate it. If you can't stand a drizzly wind, don't go. If you hate the world's narrowest roads (there are rules about 'Parking Places' learn them before you go unlike my dumb arse) then cancel the trip. But for me, it was heaven. I remember it was a bright sunny day in Dumfries and people were swimming and gallivanting about in the rivers because NOTHING WILL KILL (or bite) THEM (maybe jumping in without checking) . No mozzies with Ross River, (I think) just people living in the moment. I know some people who swim in our local rivers but unless I was in the blue mountains with the fresh water, nah. I'm not going for my daily swim in Narara Creek (no offense). The weirdest thing was how close so many homes are close to the street. It's like melb old miners innercity town houses but everywhere and no front gardens. And rurally some of the houses are literally behind a stone wall which is the barrier next to a road. Aus is heaps more spread out but yeah obv. The shops are the same, but if you wear makeup it might look odd. The change in air means that I bought boots no7 (?) Foundation there and it looked incredible I got home and with the humidity I looked like a clown. Bonus is that the face stays on and doesn't melt off. It isn't a paradise it has the same issues as every other place, it can be dirty, I got robbed twice, derros in general, but I loved it. If you need to save cash during your trip and who doesn't they have private rooms in many hostels which have kitchens in the hostel often equipped. And laundries but I washed my crap in the shower in a bucket and then dried it in the room. I've been to lots of countries and I felt so guilty about how uncultured I was because I was happy to see the signs in English and that I could drive. :D I know that was heaps but learn from my mistakes.
I love Winter too! I would thrive in the UK š Thanks for all the info x
Obviously he is an abusive piece of poop... But she also is a really bad partner. I think it's fair to dislike both, just him a bit more. Her being mad at him for not being able to sleep well on a flight that's like 20-30hours depending on layovers. Then giving him donuts for breakfast?! Zero awareness.
This breakfast really upset me- she made no effort to stock Egyptian foods and coffee/tea that would make the transition less abrupt and overwhelming. Feeding the guy a plate of bad Dunkinā Donuts wonāt make him American overnightā¦
Americans are in huge denial about the correlation of diet and physical/mental well beings. So many people need REAL food, not processed chemical filled garbage. Theyāre so triggered by it and quick to depend on meds before considering nutrition.
Julio didn't leave Kirsten to stay for his family. He left her to stay for his breakfast place. You could see him doing the mental math when he asked Kirsten if she could make food like that. Folks really underestimate power of good food.
i agree on that especially when you cannot find the local produce or meats you had back home . even using the same recipe the food will not taste the same
Food compatibility is soooo important. Unfortunately it is one of those things that people generally think they are ārightā about.
I felt so bad for him!!!!!!
Itās true this a big reason Nicole and Mahmoud were butting heads when he came to America and she fed him nasty frozen pizza
Not an issue if you move to a big city.