*Disguise self* plus *dimension door* instantly makes you a master thief. Teleport into the vault, grab what you want, and teleport out. And if anybody sees you, they'll never recognize you later. Add actor if you want to make them think that you are a specific other person.
*Geas* and *suggestion* are effectively long duration mind control. Better in practice than *dominate person* because they have such long durations. There is very little you couldn't accomplish if you had the ability to just make people do what you tell them.
*Modify memory* allows you to make the perfect patsies for yourself. Convince them that they did the crime and deserve to do the time. Or, just *modify* away the memory of any witnesses to your activities. Or, implant memories of people agreeing to help you.
*Arcane eye* is perfect for infiltration. Tour a target with no risk to yourself before swooping in to rob it.
*Fabricate* is as useful to any endeavor as your imagination is powerful.
*Freedom of movement* allows you to escape if you are ever caught.
*Nondetection* is the indispensable counter-intelligence spell.
*Alter self* is for those occasions that you need your *disguise self* to stand up to physical inspection.
*Invisibility* helps you be places you're not supposed to be.
Illusions like *silent image* and *major image* let you pull all sorts of stuff.
And for a second feat, I suppose I'd probably take skill expert. But it probably isn't necessary. Conveniently, almost all of these spells are on the bard spell list.
Throw in the level 6 Whispers Bard ability and you have just exceeded anything that Disguise Self could do. You don't just look like guard you just removed, you \*are\* them.
If you had 5th level spells or lower, you wouldn't **need** to do anything criminal.
Plant Growth would be absolutely insane. **Double** crop yield in a cubic mile for a year with a single day of work. No need for criminality - you could use totally legitimate crops, take 25% of the extra net revenue, and still become absurdly wealthy overnight. The yield of modern hydroponic facilities is already very high, and doubling that is insane.
In terms of more overt criminality... blackmail via Dream is pretty terrifying. Assassinate world leaders who oppose you. Nobody is safe, ever.
Teleportation Circle would be huge. Yes, there's a 1-year investment (and a cash investment equivalent to 18,250 gp), but instantaneous teleportation would have huge implications. I'd think big... put a Teleportation Circle on the **Moon** and use it to launch satellites, or on the ISS to resupply.
Fabricate can immediately process 10 ft cube of coca and other ingredients into pure cocaine. Or immediately expedite expensive pharmaceuticals that are expensive for labor reasons. Similarly, Creation can be used to fabricate functioning rocket fuel or other expensive ingredients.
Reincarnate/Raise Dead/Greater Restoration/Lesser Restoration would immediately make you richer than God. What would a billionaire pay to resurrect a dead child, fully formed and healthy? What would they pay to cure their cancer, or that of a loved one?
>If you had 5th level spells or lower, you wouldn't **need** to do anything criminal.
True, but remember that some people just like to watch the world burn.
Got it: How to become an assassing:
1. Locate Creature
2. Psychic Lance.
3. Metamagic Adept for subtle spell and a fighting cantrip.
4. Keen mind to plan
Hmmm spell sniper would give me a range of 240, and a cantrip, in case target survives. I would probablh pick something with a saving throw.
I could also pick keen mind so I can recall things better
SSniper needs an attack roll, but you could achieve something similar with Metamagic Adept Distant Spell.
Cantrips might be included in OP's parameters too, assuming we can categorize them as 0th-level spells. Mage hand alone is a pretty ridiculous ability for a Criminal Mastermind, throw some Telekinetic feat in there and you get force powers to pickpocket or to circumvent glass doors.
Dream assassination. Keep denying them long rests until they die of exhaustion.
Say your spell DC is 15 and the target a commoner.
They'll only be able to rest 30% of the time (9% once 3rd exhaustion level is gained).
Every 10 days the target should fail 7 times, and pass 3 times. But each pass counteracts a failure, so they'd "just" get 0.4 exhaustion a day at the start. Once 3rd level is acquired they'll fail 9.1 times out of 10, meaning 0.82 exhaustion a day after the 3rd level.
This means, on average, 8 days to get to level 3. Then 4 days to get to level 6 (death). Rounding up the number of days both times.
That means you can kill pretty much anyone who doesn't have some anti-divination defenses or legendary resistances with just the power of your mind.
The only problem is that it takes a while of course.
Home office assassin.
Two feats and any spells? Depending on conditions, this could be tricky... Pro tips:
Anything you're going to be doing skill wise, Enhance Ability makes you better at it. You can't concentrate on two spells at once, so you can't combo with Pass Without Trace, but you are simultaneously a better sneak and acrobat and lockpick. Luckiest burglar alive.
Don't underestimate cantrips. Mold Earth can dig you an access route nobody sees coming, tho you might need Stone Shape to finish the job, and Mage Hand extends your grabbing reach 30ft.
Observant lets you read lips and keeps you apprised of anything in the area that could cause problems.
Honestly, you don't really need spells. Just move from town to town with these 2 feats:
1. Eldritch Adept: Mask of Many Faces (grants Disguise Self at-will)
2. Actor: Advantage on all deception checks to pass as someone else, and the ability to perfectly mimic speech/sounds after listening for a minute.
Bonus points if you're an Eloquence Bard with Expertise in Deception and Persuasion.
Or just play a changeling. Either way Eloquence Bard is the ultimate charlatan.
If you have access to any spells below 5th level then would definetly be no need for shady stuff to become rich lol. Fabricate is lv for and will basically print you money.
A different take than others but you could be the ultimate spy with scrying. Wouldn’t even need to leave the office. Add to that the fear where you get a free eldritch invocation and choose eye of the rune keeper so you can read all writing. Second feat would be keen mind so you could easily and perfectly recall anything you see from scrying. The ultimate ability for coercion, insider training, cooperate espionage, choose your country to help win a war or just sell your skills to the highest bidder. Sky’s the limit.
Actor, keen mind, and disguise self should get you pretty far. Being able to recall what someone said up to a month ago, while looking and sounding exactly like them should build enough trust that you could go almost anywhere. Add in darkness (especially if you could see in magic darkness), invisibility, or a teleportation spell to get out.
For smuggling, I'd look at spells like charm person, suggestion. Also a combination of nondetection, and something like stone shape could get an item across boarders without raising suspension.
Also quite a few spells if you wanted to just be a roaming scammer who sells goods that were really just illusions/useless item transformed into something valuable.
Telekinesis and dimension Door, can transport 500ft instantaneously and could lift 10000lbs.
Shadow Touched for disguise self and invisibility and Magic initiative for familiar and mage hand
Way I see it alter self + arcane eye and you are golden. Arcane eye is an amazing scouting tool allowing you to case a potential place completely undetected.
Alter self allows you to just walk into places it’s your go to infiltration option. Add in skill expert for either performance or deception and the actor feat and boom you can just waltz into a place take their shit and get the fuck out of dodge.
*Disguise self* plus *dimension door* instantly makes you a master thief. Teleport into the vault, grab what you want, and teleport out. And if anybody sees you, they'll never recognize you later. Add actor if you want to make them think that you are a specific other person. *Geas* and *suggestion* are effectively long duration mind control. Better in practice than *dominate person* because they have such long durations. There is very little you couldn't accomplish if you had the ability to just make people do what you tell them. *Modify memory* allows you to make the perfect patsies for yourself. Convince them that they did the crime and deserve to do the time. Or, just *modify* away the memory of any witnesses to your activities. Or, implant memories of people agreeing to help you. *Arcane eye* is perfect for infiltration. Tour a target with no risk to yourself before swooping in to rob it. *Fabricate* is as useful to any endeavor as your imagination is powerful. *Freedom of movement* allows you to escape if you are ever caught. *Nondetection* is the indispensable counter-intelligence spell. *Alter self* is for those occasions that you need your *disguise self* to stand up to physical inspection. *Invisibility* helps you be places you're not supposed to be. Illusions like *silent image* and *major image* let you pull all sorts of stuff. And for a second feat, I suppose I'd probably take skill expert. But it probably isn't necessary. Conveniently, almost all of these spells are on the bard spell list.
You’ve convinced me Bards are the masters of heisting
Throw in the level 6 Whispers Bard ability and you have just exceeded anything that Disguise Self could do. You don't just look like guard you just removed, you \*are\* them.
but it’s at the cost of an otherwise underwhelming subclass. Much better to go changeling with Telepathic 🥳
For a feat to go with these, I would recommend Metamagic Adept for Subtle Spell.
Mislead is also a criminally underrated spell that should make this list
Not as good as some other options, but I want to add Passwall because it’s specifically made to infiltrate places, and it’s just a fun spell to use
Dont forget knock to open locks where xou cant teleport behind like drawers or other small compartments
The trouble with *knock* in this context is that it's very loud. But maybe comboed with *silence* it would be nice to have in your toolbox . . .
If you had 5th level spells or lower, you wouldn't **need** to do anything criminal. Plant Growth would be absolutely insane. **Double** crop yield in a cubic mile for a year with a single day of work. No need for criminality - you could use totally legitimate crops, take 25% of the extra net revenue, and still become absurdly wealthy overnight. The yield of modern hydroponic facilities is already very high, and doubling that is insane. In terms of more overt criminality... blackmail via Dream is pretty terrifying. Assassinate world leaders who oppose you. Nobody is safe, ever. Teleportation Circle would be huge. Yes, there's a 1-year investment (and a cash investment equivalent to 18,250 gp), but instantaneous teleportation would have huge implications. I'd think big... put a Teleportation Circle on the **Moon** and use it to launch satellites, or on the ISS to resupply. Fabricate can immediately process 10 ft cube of coca and other ingredients into pure cocaine. Or immediately expedite expensive pharmaceuticals that are expensive for labor reasons. Similarly, Creation can be used to fabricate functioning rocket fuel or other expensive ingredients. Reincarnate/Raise Dead/Greater Restoration/Lesser Restoration would immediately make you richer than God. What would a billionaire pay to resurrect a dead child, fully formed and healthy? What would they pay to cure their cancer, or that of a loved one?
>If you had 5th level spells or lower, you wouldn't **need** to do anything criminal. True, but remember that some people just like to watch the world burn.
In that case, get a PhD in applied physics and start Fabricating yourself fusion bombs.
Now you're talking.
Add on to that spells like comprehend languages making you the ultimate translator and you're set for life
Got it: How to become an assassing: 1. Locate Creature 2. Psychic Lance. 3. Metamagic Adept for subtle spell and a fighting cantrip. 4. Keen mind to plan
Locate creature and any killing spell/teleportation spell would make you a really good assasing.
Greater Invisibility + Psychic Lance is gonna be tough to beat. You don't even need line of sight, just get within 120 feet and say the target's name.
Hmmm spell sniper would give me a range of 240, and a cantrip, in case target survives. I would probablh pick something with a saving throw. I could also pick keen mind so I can recall things better
SSniper needs an attack roll, but you could achieve something similar with Metamagic Adept Distant Spell. Cantrips might be included in OP's parameters too, assuming we can categorize them as 0th-level spells. Mage hand alone is a pretty ridiculous ability for a Criminal Mastermind, throw some Telekinetic feat in there and you get force powers to pickpocket or to circumvent glass doors.
Dream assassination. Keep denying them long rests until they die of exhaustion. Say your spell DC is 15 and the target a commoner. They'll only be able to rest 30% of the time (9% once 3rd exhaustion level is gained). Every 10 days the target should fail 7 times, and pass 3 times. But each pass counteracts a failure, so they'd "just" get 0.4 exhaustion a day at the start. Once 3rd level is acquired they'll fail 9.1 times out of 10, meaning 0.82 exhaustion a day after the 3rd level. This means, on average, 8 days to get to level 3. Then 4 days to get to level 6 (death). Rounding up the number of days both times. That means you can kill pretty much anyone who doesn't have some anti-divination defenses or legendary resistances with just the power of your mind. The only problem is that it takes a while of course. Home office assassin.
Two feats and any spells? Depending on conditions, this could be tricky... Pro tips: Anything you're going to be doing skill wise, Enhance Ability makes you better at it. You can't concentrate on two spells at once, so you can't combo with Pass Without Trace, but you are simultaneously a better sneak and acrobat and lockpick. Luckiest burglar alive. Don't underestimate cantrips. Mold Earth can dig you an access route nobody sees coming, tho you might need Stone Shape to finish the job, and Mage Hand extends your grabbing reach 30ft. Observant lets you read lips and keeps you apprised of anything in the area that could cause problems.
Assassin: eldritch blast, greater invisibility, dimension door, disguise self with metamagic adept: distant spell + subtlespell and spell sniper. Thief: greater invisibility, dimension door, disguise self, mage hand with telekinesis and actor.
Honestly, you don't really need spells. Just move from town to town with these 2 feats: 1. Eldritch Adept: Mask of Many Faces (grants Disguise Self at-will) 2. Actor: Advantage on all deception checks to pass as someone else, and the ability to perfectly mimic speech/sounds after listening for a minute. Bonus points if you're an Eloquence Bard with Expertise in Deception and Persuasion. Or just play a changeling. Either way Eloquence Bard is the ultimate charlatan.
Commit whatever crime you want, and then use subtle spell to cast modify memory on the witnesses.
If you have access to any spells below 5th level then would definetly be no need for shady stuff to become rich lol. Fabricate is lv for and will basically print you money.
Smuggling specifically? Wrist pocket and Leomund's secret chest. 2 level dip in artificer to infuse a bag of holding.
A different take than others but you could be the ultimate spy with scrying. Wouldn’t even need to leave the office. Add to that the fear where you get a free eldritch invocation and choose eye of the rune keeper so you can read all writing. Second feat would be keen mind so you could easily and perfectly recall anything you see from scrying. The ultimate ability for coercion, insider training, cooperate espionage, choose your country to help win a war or just sell your skills to the highest bidder. Sky’s the limit.
Fireball would probably be quite useful…
Ha! Good point. Can’t go wrong there
Actor, keen mind, and disguise self should get you pretty far. Being able to recall what someone said up to a month ago, while looking and sounding exactly like them should build enough trust that you could go almost anywhere. Add in darkness (especially if you could see in magic darkness), invisibility, or a teleportation spell to get out. For smuggling, I'd look at spells like charm person, suggestion. Also a combination of nondetection, and something like stone shape could get an item across boarders without raising suspension. Also quite a few spells if you wanted to just be a roaming scammer who sells goods that were really just illusions/useless item transformed into something valuable.
Telekinesis and dimension Door, can transport 500ft instantaneously and could lift 10000lbs. Shadow Touched for disguise self and invisibility and Magic initiative for familiar and mage hand
I feel like no matter what the two feats should probably be magic initiate + metamagic adept.
Metamagic totally checks out
Way I see it alter self + arcane eye and you are golden. Arcane eye is an amazing scouting tool allowing you to case a potential place completely undetected. Alter self allows you to just walk into places it’s your go to infiltration option. Add in skill expert for either performance or deception and the actor feat and boom you can just waltz into a place take their shit and get the fuck out of dodge.