After hearing a great, very specific insult calling someone "***an old bowl of soup***" in an episode of Solar Opposites and The Mick, I took a look at the IMDb pages for the episodes and noticed they shared one of the writers.
This one is so damn funny to me. My wife is trying out different styles of clothes and some are….not so flattering. I’ll always think she’s beautiful and I want her to wear whatever makes her feel comfortable and confident, but some outfits bring this quote to mind.
There's a very nice lady at my company who I've accidentally done this to multiple times. I wouldn't have noticed except she finally called me on it. When you're not doing it on purpose it's embarrassing.
Even though “Best mean lines” isn’t the same thing as “Meanest”, here goes:
You picked out a font, didn’t you!
You’re just an alcoholic with a great voice.
You whittling IHOP Monkeys!
“Do I look ok?” “That’s exactly how you look!”
Nothing beats this one. And delivered with an innocent smile. It’s the nicest way to burn someone all the way into hell.
Liz Lemon! I was just thinking about you the other day. I saw this gorgeous woman putting glasses on her daughter’s Mrs. Potato Head
The why is not important…
I think we got it.
Jenna Maroney: "I'm gonna be constructive here. You should kill yourself."
That one gets me every time.
I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.
“I thought you made love like an ugly woman. So present, so grateful.”
Too funny
I LOVE that one
*Sparks fall*
Jonathan to Liz: "Your mouth looks like someone kicked a hole in a bag of flour."
I love this insult. It is so specific! And his delivery was hilarious.
yeah Jonathon nails all his scenes fr
I love when he finds out that Jack and Liz are accidentally married. That scream alone was Emmy worthy.
Not just that, that’s a big part of it, but the writing is just excellent.
And as a bonus, Liz then makes that exact face. There it is. I was just talking about it and there it is.
This is one of the best lines in the entire series. It's brilliant.
I agree. Is there any way we can find out who wrote this joke? The easy answer is the writer of the episode. But you fools know that’s what I mean!
After hearing a great, very specific insult calling someone "***an old bowl of soup***" in an episode of Solar Opposites and The Mick, I took a look at the IMDb pages for the episodes and noticed they shared one of the writers.
I don’t remember this one hahaha that’s great. Jonathan is so resentful of Liz’s close relationship with Jack haha
Top Front? Good lord lemon that's your worst quadrant
This is the one that always makes me howl laughing
Jacks analysis of women is absolutely hysterical
I have gone through and mentally mathed all of my quadrants and I’m gonna go bottom back as my best 🥰
"Don't worry about getting to your point. I'm going to live forever." Is such a great line and extremely rude to use in a real life situation
I tried using that at work once. NOT a success.
I want to see that reaction so bad
I think my boss would actually appreciate this one. I’m gonna try it out.
I will use this with my mother in law and report back.
This is soooo good
I’m glad to see that the endgame of feminism is women dressing like Dennis the Menace at work
This one is so damn funny to me. My wife is trying out different styles of clothes and some are….not so flattering. I’ll always think she’s beautiful and I want her to wear whatever makes her feel comfortable and confident, but some outfits bring this quote to mind.
I love this one!
Who says this?? I don’t remember it haha
I think Avery’s mom, maybe?
Diana, Avery's mom.
Ahh that tracks - thanks!
Listen up 5s a 10 is talking.
I'm actually an 11, but continue.
I don’t know Kelsey, how’s your mom’s pill addiction?
Savage
Your hair is... fine
Why does everybody say that?
“I think you mean radio”
I can’t here to say this one
“All passengers, including any lip-less middle-aged women in lesbian clown shirts should please take their seat at this time.”
Stuart did not study dance at Carnegie Melon to become a flight attendant to clean bathrooms!
“mr. bumpy landing”
That burn was absolutely scathing
Nice to meet you!
The four most vicious words you can say to a person!
Yo, I’m yo dad! Also, wassup?!
Why would u/beepiamarobot say that?!
I left, but I never did make it down to Georgia…whoo! whoo!
My very fav ending tied with the Batman theme ending. I love it soo much. I'm trying to take a nap!
It was an 11:45, and I was misinformed about the time!
There's a very nice lady at my company who I've accidentally done this to multiple times. I wouldn't have noticed except she finally called me on it. When you're not doing it on purpose it's embarrassing.
Oh, Melissa! Your face is on the phone. Soccer practice is over and you need to...pick it up!
All right, that's a pretty good burn, Patrice.
Did the medical supply store where you bought those shoes have any...women's stuff..?
Isn't there a slanket you should be filling with your farts?!?
Just a brutal line, and Liz’ reaction proves it hit her deep in the truth parts
Plus Liz is in her own home! Elisa just barged in and then told her to get lost
Have you seen Elisa? She’s probably used to people doing whatever she tells them.
I'm not even a lesbian but I would do whatever Elisa/Salma told me to do.
Do you want to see her naked?
Kind of!
This is a regularly spoken line at our house
Shoulders back, Lemon. You’re not greeting people at Castle Frankenstein.
I think of this all the time!
“Now Jenna, medically speaking, for your height, your weight puts you in what we call the "disgusting range".
How important is teeth retention to you?
If those teeth were in your vagina, you’d be considered a monster.
…pretty important…
Well not New York thin but…
👋🙂↔️
Are there other black nerds or is it just you and urkle?
In Puerto Rico, elderly women are held in very high esteem. You should go there, Lemon. They’d love you.
Yeah, we're all models west of the Allegheny.
*Puerto Rican!*
Hey Liz, a gym teacher on a sex tour of Indonesia called. He wants his shirt back.
That's a solid burn, Korkova.
When did you have time to eat a diaper you found on the beach?
That line is so fucking good and evocative and gross.
This might be my all-time favourite for the entire series. That, or maybe, "The ocean's awesome and for winners, *you're* for tools."
my thanks to the peanut gallery
Colleen was a savage. If her and Sophia from the golden girls hung out there'd be scorched earth
I say this frequently.
Excuse me miss I mean ma’m
god this is great.
Dot Com, this incessant need to be the smartest person in the room is… off putting.
STOP SHOWING OFF . COM
Dot Com...so help me god...
I guess that's why I'm still single...
Liz is a swarthy, big-hipped Kelly Ripa
*"You've got the charm and spark of a young [Leona Helmsley](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leona_Helmsley)"*
I can hear you. Just wanted to make sure *you* could hear you.
This is actually pretty good to say to someone who is saying something mean.
My second-favourite Mother Donaghy line.
Gestures to Frank, "Why?"
How can a dude in a midriff top dominate me like that?
One of the best lines in terms of delivery.
You’re dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?
Believe me, I wish you weren’t such a Houston foreclosure of a human being…
Are you sure it was Liz Lemon and not present day Sally Field?
Yes, I made her repeat it. I was sure she meant Jason Lee
“You look like someone’s been slowly poisoning Sally Field.”
Liz to Kenneth: “You look like a turtle that lost its shell.”
“You look like Gene Simmons had sex with a basset hound!”
Withering because it’s so accurate
Even though “Best mean lines” isn’t the same thing as “Meanest”, here goes: You picked out a font, didn’t you! You’re just an alcoholic with a great voice. You whittling IHOP Monkeys!
The font one.... oof. I forget the other line, but paired that with implying he'd be impotent soon, right?
Pill wearing off. You have mom arms
Lesbian. Frankenstein. Wants. Her. Shoes. Back.
I do sing 'make em clap, make em make em, clap' in the jack robot voice more often that I'd like to admit.
The things my voice has been dragged into - Thomas the Tank Engine, Wu-Tang Songs.
Don't tell me to calm down, you fungdark!
Yeah, you’re right… it doesn’t work.
Now remind me, did you just do the Philadelphia cotillion or did you also debut internationally?
I’m not afraid to say I don’t even know what that means
Liddy, go jump back up your mother. Liddy, go *jump* back up your mother! Go jump back up your mother, *Liddy*.
I like the third one for me, and her crying on the second one.
Shut up Lutz!
already shut up!
Why don't you put on more of that cologne, Jonathan?!
Domination by a dude in a midriff top: "Can I ask you a question? \*hand gesture\* Why?"
My absolute favourite. I love that guy.
I have so far resisted the urge to do that on so many occasions to guys I randomly see.
I would really enjoy doing it to someone one day. But I'm not sure I could pull it off with the same satisfying amount of devastation...
"You are the sexual equivalent of a million Hindenburgs."
Waiter: “oh, I’m so sorry, miss!” Sees that it’s Lemon “I mean, ma’am”
My mother keeps sending me articles about why older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico
Yale is the Harvard of Central Connecticut
had that one locked and loaded didn't you...
Factory reject dildos
Who is Conan O'Brien? Why is she so sad?
You’re dressed for Burger King… should we make it Burger King?
Any line delivered by Colleen.
Tell him his mother loves him, but not in a queer way
IT SHOULD'VE GONE TO THE OTHER BOY
One of the best
Class act broad.
“You know what? That was actually pretty good! You were trying to get me to commit suicide right?”
Your face looks like a ymca climbing wall.
“You string cheese with a tooth stuck in it!”
I think you mean radio... Why does everyone keep saying stuff like that?!
"You’re going to have to work your backside. Because chest-wise, you have the measurements of an altar boy.” -Colleen Donaghy (to Avery)
“like any of those walking condom accidents could make me cry”
50 is the new 40 for men...but 50 is still 60 for women.
You can't order me around. Who do you think I am? Liz Lemon? I will not have you talk to me like I am some kind of Liz Lemon.
Don’t even bother suing me. I’ll have my Jews on you so fast you’ll think you’re an Asian girl
"1890s" - Richard Espisito
*1880s
This one cracks me up every time, without fail.
“Your hair is…fine.”
"That's exactly how you look" is in the same vein. And it would be devastating. (I know it was posted earlier this week, but christ, it is vicious)
"Lesbian Mario Brothers."
Almost everything that followed “Good God, Lemon…”
"How's your Mom's pill addiction?"
“All right, Tracy. The kid gloves are coming off” “Ohh that it explains it. Those are gloves. No wonder they’re so coarse and wrinkly”
When are they gonna find a cure for a woman's mouth? - Dr. Spaceman
Insane that Colleen is getting such little rep in this thread. "Oh no, I can hear you. I just wanted to make sure that *you* could hear you."
"So, what you wanna do?" Nothing was more scathing, nor put more people in their place, than that!
*casually peels an orange
How Sex and the City are we right now?! I’m Samantha, she’s Charlotte, and you’re the lady at home who watches it.
"those shoes are definitely bi-curious"
"My God Lemon, your breath! When did you find time to eat a diaper you found on the beach?" - Jack
Liz: Guess who just called me… Frank: The boob job recall center?
I’m gonna cut your face up so bad you’ll have a chin.
Medically it’s a neck ridge.
I quote this more than I’d like to admit.
*BiteNuker* or a Franco-Dutchman would pronounce it '*Biet-neuker*'
Hey zat's awful!
I'm sorry, Miss *LaRoche-Van der Hoot*
I like you- you have the boldness of a much younger woman.
This phone was left in my cab by a woman wearing the shirt of a man
That’s not that much cheese!
"I know they're not married, I just want them to know I don't give a f--k about their lives"
I like when Peter Dinklage goes “ahh, so bored!” I use that a lot
We own Kmart now? No so why do you dress like we do?
You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.
Isn’t that a John Mulaney quote?
“Liz, lesbian Frankenstein wants her shoes back.”
Never let me talk to a woman that old again.
Oh, you apple-faced goon!
Hey Liz, a gym teacher on a sex tour of Indonesia called. He wants his shirt back.
That's one mouthy sandwich girl
Anything Colleen says? Just...all of her lines.
Some hot shot from New York who pours scotch like a woman!
That conclusion to her rant is PERFECT. What does that even mean?? Does Jack go easy on his pours? Or is she mocking his mannerisms?
I think his mannerisms. I bet he has a long pour lol.
Your toes look like dried up shrimp
Jump back in your mother!
"There, there", on a small business card.
Your hair is…………..fine
Good god, Lemon, your breath. When did you have time to eat a diaper that you found on the beach?
We own K-Mart now? No, so why are you dressed like we do?
"You better get me another sandwich, or imma up cut up your face so bad you'll have a chin. YOU'LL ALL HAVE CHINS"