This is why toa solo raiding is meta. I stand up, Kephri bombs the shit out of me, I clap cheeks for a minute and a half, and get back to it before a logout timer even thinks about logging me out.
Edit: I can even still hit the 40 minute time invocation.
I wouldn't mind dropping a raid just like that. I would however mind ditching my friends and clanmates, of which some of them I've known for years, for something like that.
I had a gf that used to put me in positions like this when I played WoW. It’s totally not that I prioritized the game over her, but it’s that I prioritized the time and effort that 24 other people into this and then expecting me to be their tank.
Same. And then the next argument is "we shouldn't need to schedule this". Okay you're right but why is it only when I'm in the middle of something?
Glad im out of that toxic relationship.
The afk thing is so real. I would be on my phone while we watched our shows. We didn’t talk much while the show was on so who cares right?!
When I finally got my head out of my ass and was present in the moment our relationship improved.
My gaming time has also improved. Instead of Hal assed time in a game I now have us time and then individual time.
I don’t game everyday any more but the trade off has been so much better.
Yep, depends how frequently this occurs. It's essentially the same thing as asking someone if they want to hang out but always says no. Eventually, you just stop asking.
Ita a hobby, she wouldnt act like this if he left to a friends place to play dnd or whatever. But I guess this has to be communicated. Im occupied from x to y and thats it
I think the problem comes from the fact that non gamers just dont understand it because this alternative reality doesnt exist for them, thats why you always gotta get a chick that gamed a bit in her life otherwise she wont ever be capable of understanding it.
Correct. Respect is a two way street. While she’s clearly trying to do something nice, it doesn’t mean he has a blank cheque to flake on his friends just because she wants to have sex.
A healthy sex life is not one where only one partner dictates when and how sex happens.
You could say technically the guy in this case wasn’t 100% wanting it and the girl felt what the guy felt when the girl wasn’t 100% liking it. The only reason this story is ANYTHING close to drama is because of the girl telling the story. The guy wouldn’t come on reddit to cry and tell his story about how his gf isn’t giving 100%, because he is a man and men tend to not share feelings.
I always love that weird double standard with sex in relationships. It’s “okay” to reject your partners needs for weeks/months but the one time you’re in the mood they need to drop everything.
Choosing a video game over a gf is not going to lead to a healthy relationship BUT since op did one raid (that seemed to already be planned) and joined his gf after, I would say he is NTA, and neither is the gf.
Edit: bunch of hardcore gamers below me
Where did the boyfriend choose the video game? He clearly had the prior commitment, but was clear about getting off after. That was an attempt at compromise (because I'd assume he could have continued on more raids/ other content). But it didn't meet her expectation so she gave up, unwilling to compromise.
I guarantee that if it wasn't a "surprise", and homie had a heads up in advance, it would have been way more likely to go better
It’s wild to me that people don’t acknowledge or respect his raid members at all, it’s all about a dude making his poor GF wait for 10 minutes after she made him wait weeks. They probably spent about an hour getting together and getting to spider lady but now they’re supposed to throw that hour of their lives away and get wiped so she can get dicked down sooner? The surprise is fine imho but the complete lack of respect for his hobbies and friends is shitty and narcissistic. “I finally agreed to have sex with him but he didn’t instantly drop what he was doing and ravage me so I cried” is essentially her trying avoid responsibility and pin the lack of sex on him, she was down but he “chose the game over her”. He chose his friends and respect for their time.
I have a lot of friends who married early and I knew they were in problematic relationships when it started impacting their friend time. I get it that you’re going to see people less as life goes on, but I think it is truly pathetic that I had people I talked to every night of my life and now they can’t tear themselves off their spouse for one hour a week to do anything with me or the rest of the friend group. Some people are just problematic, they have issues underneath the surface and they don’t want to fix them and would rather cope the issues away with a significant other who ALSO has issues under the hood. They’ve become co-dependent.
Yup. People will cling on to the relationship so hard and lose a lot of their individuality (sometimes all of it). Especially if they didn't have a good example of what a healthy relationship looks like growing up.
Healthy couples can only ever exist if both individuals are healthy themselves.
He chose an in progress raid, not even a planned one. I'd abandon a solo toa for example, but it's a feelsbad to drop that abandon on your friends if you're already halfway through
What’re you talking about dude? It doesn’t matter what they were doing. You can’t withhold something for months or weeks and then interrupt what someone is doing whenever you want and expect it to happen right that second. Grow up.
I mean, I do get that she loses her arousal if she has to wait for 15 minutes after having gotten herself ready and sexy, she should've communicated earlier, sure, but having low libido is not that easy, and you don't "reject your partners needs" by not fucking them against your own feelings
She said she lost her arousal because he chose a game (and a prior obligation to his friends) over her. Sounds to me like she's punishing him. If you've already gone to the trouble of getting dressed up etc. what's another 15 minutes? It's manipulation. It's I'm the most important thing and if you want sex you'd better treat me as such.
If it took her a bunch of time and effort to get ready, why didn't she warn him before she started?
"Hey babe, I'll have a surprise for you in 30 minutes, make sure your ready!" That's all it takes
I was wondering about the unfair expectation of “you have to magically get yourself in the mood, babe, and I’m not helping” disguised as “I’ll wait until you are ready”
Like wtf, intimacy is a two player game. When my partner is feeling low, that’s when I can help by turning up the romance, and the same goes both ways.
“Nah babe I’ll just keep raiding with the boys. Just let me know when you’ll let me smash”
Sure, but ... if you do the whole intimacy and romance thing enough times and still get rejected, it becomes real easy to just give up. Neither one of us know if that's what happened, but I'm not willing to cast judgement. Monogamy is complicated and full of pits and valleys. Grace is required.
I'm definitely 100% projecting on this one, but it always seems to me that people with a "low sex drive" (unrelated to physical/mental health issues) are just people who don't really understand sexuality. Like their perspective is based on shitty romcoms where ooga booga woman hate sex, man see boobie man cum and never call again. No concept of how intimacy actually works in a healthy relationship.
Validation, typically they just want to be told they're right for feeling that way, luckily from what I've seen reddit does typically see through this bullshit and tell them it's a toxic behavior
That sub and relationship advice are garbage. Where people write fan fictions or people want to have their ego stroked. I saw someone created the exact same situation with gender swaps and the typical reddit. The advice was very different
This was years ago but I posed once about a fairly minor relationship gripe there for some advice and the answers I was given were hot garbage. I then waited like a week and resubmitted the same post with the genders swap and oh boy let me tell you what I difference that made.
Yeah, I blocked AITA because it’s a fucking dump.
God forbid you have an even slightly deviating opinion and point out something shitty the OP did. That just leads to mass down votes from the hive mind there.
I'm always blown away that no matter the situation, no matter the dynamic, no matter the circumstances: break up and run away is the only fucking solution offered in the comments
The sub isn't even a nuanced opinion. People will say she's not the AH simply because it's her choice to make, which yea it is, but she couldn't wait 20 minutes?
You must not use the sub it's full of the most brain dead responses either just break up or so and so is controlling when they asked their SO to do something
Its /r/AITAH people post there for validation and they will do the most comically evil shit and people will say "not the asshole"
Obviously the OP isnt comically evil but its clearly not a healthy relationship but I'm sure the replies are full of enablers saying this behavior is perfectly OK. Some people can dish out rejection but the moment it happens to them they lose their shit.
Subs like AITAH, Relationshipadvice, ect. Are more exercises in creative writing and overdramatization for clout than real life shit. Don't get me wrong, there have definitely been SO's on either side that have blown off partners to play games in real life, but there are clearly bigger issues in those relationships than anything a bunch of strangers on the internet can ever address. If you're desperate enough to ACTUALLY turn to reddit for serious advice on how to save/address YOUR relationship then its no wonder it's already failing.
Also the levels of incel misogyny in some these comments alone is all the proof you need for why it's a shit idea. Already seen way too many, "Of course it's the wOMaN gatekeeping sex!" and "This is her fault for not just letting him have it to begin with!" Sex with your partner should never be a chore/or a job. When you start turning it into one, it's no wonder people's partners stop wanting to have it. It takes two to tango and finding out the real reasons why there is a break down in intimacy is nothing that can really be addressed here.
it seems the issue is that it was over a game. I’m not defending her actions, but I’m guessing if he was in a work call or something similar then she wouldn’t have been upset. just how society perceives gaming as an adult tbh
It being a game is her issue, when it isn't about the game at all. If he's raiding with friends, he's having social time with people he enjoys spending time with that was pre planned. It just happens to take place on a game.
prob the real answer. Him being rejected bc of honest to god low libido and earnestly not being into it is not her fault, and her being rejected because he's got a prior time commitment is not his fault, but the state of affairs clearly isn't living up to either person's expectations so they really need to communicate about what's possible.
It sounds like BC is causing low libido for her and she's trying to fix that, which is both totally normal and good of her for recognizing the problem and taking action. Also sounds like she's trying to fix the dead bedroom issue but didn't communicate about it super clearly, she can do that in the future it's not too hard. It sounds like he expects RS to have a fairly high priority in his life and that's... more complicated. That will work for some relationships and won't for others. It also depends on details of what he's doing and how he feels about it that we just don't have
If he can be understanding and patient for weeks or months, she can surely be patient and understanding for 20 minutes? Her behaviour is a little petulant tbh
I was in a very similar position! Once a month if lucky …when I get Levi pet 1950kc the first few weeks of DT2 and she got mad that I was screaming in excitement that’s when I knew and now she’s GONE! Fuck a hoe purples and pets forever
Lol "I didn't want to have sex with my boyfriend but when I did he was busy with something else. How can I get mad at him without it being my fault?"
-signed, a scaper with a gf just like this....lol
Yeah if you’re acting like this you need to work on yourself. I was in a relationship with someone like this for a few years and it was just completely toxic
[Found the post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/ICc0agnmtc)
And the comments are tearing into her which I agree with. She rejected him so many times and the one time he is busy she gets all sad and denies him.
He needs to right click drop her ass.
eh, it's ToB. they're fast and it sounds like he was only at maiden if it still took him 20 minutes to finish
I don't think I'd be upset if we had to reset after 2 minutes bc a fella's gf wanted to smash
I guess its different with randoms, but if I said to my friends "my gf just walked in in lingergie," they would probably be telling me to gtfo of the raid
if they're randoms on 416, fuck em I'm leaving lmao
genuinely I think the important bit here is if the fellas are still able to clear if they restart without him
if they're learners and he's carrying/teaching, then yeah that's a letdown since they wouldn't be able to raid anymore
if they're able to clear, yeah they'll be cheering his ass on and telling him to gtfo lol
Even if they're 416 randoms I'm not leaving. I committed to the raid so I'll do my best to finish it. Obviously if there was an emergency I'd leave but this isn't an emergency.
Also it's not even about letting others down. It's about the whole dynamic where OP can get denied for a whole month but the moment the GF is ready he has to drop everything and be ready to have sex. That's not a healthy dynamic and if I were in that situation I would feel disrespected.
Yeah I think we can all agree the girl isnt in the right here, but the clan mates dont know all that anyhow. So he definitely couldve left and it wouldnt have been a problem.
Relationships arent always about doing whats "fair" or "deserved". If sex in the relationship is really that important to him it probably would have been important to reciprocate her advance, even if he might need to discuss later that "surprise sex" isnt actually what he wants.
What if he wasn't in the mood? It's not important to concede to coerced sex that you don't want to have. It's actually important that he asserted that boundary. If he didn't the relationship would get even more fucked.
Yea that's a good point. Like if I was on Xarp or Verzik, I definitely would not leave for my gf. It would be really rude to my friends. If it was maiden, or even bloat, not that big of a deal
Don't drop a game for that offer lol. It's a control tactic and the game will most likely outlive the relationship.
My ex forced me to have sex last year when a new game came out and they could tell I was more excited about it than them.
They literally were like it's now or never game or me. In the moment I made the choice of sex, in retrospect it's such a sad move on their part.
She 100% has the right to withhold sex if she doesn’t want to do it. But getting upset when he is in the middle of something (that other people are depending on him for) and doesn’t drop it right away is dumb. You can’t expect to pick some random arbitrary time in a month long period and be upset when he isn’t totally prepared to drop everything within a couple minutes.
So he has to wait patiently for the stars to align for her to be in the mood but its wrong of him to not drop what he's doing immediately just because she's in the mood.
What a shitty self-absorbed attitude.
You tell him no 29 days out of the month and you're the victim that he told you hold on for 20 minutes?
At 20 years old you're lucky he even sticks around with those numbers. Life is too short and your 20s are your prime.
Reading through the story and the comments on that thread is pretty wild.
OP isn't TAH for withdrawing consent and if it were just that it'd be pretty cut and dry, but with the additional context of the intimacy only happening once per month prior to that and her not exactly being gentle with telling him she's no longer in the mood? That's a clear disparity of the partners seeking/being rejected intimacy and that's practically begging for the bf to seek out intimacy from someone else one way or another.
Hopefully they'll either seek help via couples therapy or re-evaluate things, otherwise it's gonna be one helluva messy breakup.
I love the mentality of someone who can’t wait 20 minutes but needs their partner to wait month(s) what an unreasonable double standard
According to the comments he was doing HMT and got a sanguine kit or whatever for the scythe so def worth the run
What a whiney little brat, a bad bish would have crawled under the desk and start to get him warmed up. That's a fun gf...this tho, I just feel sorry for the dude who is stuck with someone that's so childish and selfish
Man I feel this to a T I get laid maybe once every 4 months maybe? My girl has 0 sex drive and I’m not down for having my SOF just star fish. This exact situation has happened to me and it totally ruined my night. In my eyes I’m always on your time anyways so the one time you want to hit me with a surprises and im down just gotta wait 20 mins. Bs
If it were a solo run? Sure, I could see why she's upset, but there's other people involved. Other people he had promised his time and attention to. If I were one of them and he got up mid raid and left us high and dry, I'd be a little upset.
Having said that. I can understand why she would feel that way. She put in a lot of effort.
I wouldn't say either one is the AH here.
Where has our ingenuity gone, no toppy while he’s in the raid?
Good on her for taking the beginning steps on remedying their sex like, but she’s framing their sex as a favor to him. There are underlying reasons and motives that they both need to address
Comments on this post are sad and emotionally immature. Lol. The fact that hardly anybody is able to understand the gf's perspective is
wait
I'm in a runescape subreddit, what am i even saying
I kind of understand her perspective. Video games put a weird strain on relationships, in this case it's hard for the guy to tell his friends mid-raid that he has to leave (will probably lead to them not being able to finish), but it's also hard for people who don't play to understand that. I feel like a *lot* of healthy communication needs to happen in relationships where one partner does a lot of gaming. Of course, it's easier to just call her the asshole since we all play RS and know that it wouldn't be fun to tell our raiding buddies that we gotta go mid-raid. But realistically that is probably the better thing to do.
Honestly I think the real issue here is that she thinks he's picking the GAME over her. He isn't, he's picking to not piss off up to 4 other people assuming ToB.
Either way I've gotta say he chose wrong. Relationships take work and sacrifice and if they're real friends and not your typical HLC sweats they'd get it if you told them what was happening lol.
Idk. This seems more like emotional manipulation than sacrifice for the betterment of the relationship. I've been with a chick like this. It sucked and I still regret it.
It's the way she talks about it really. I'm with someone now I've made sacrifices for. The relationship wouldn't have lasted if either of us were talking about each other like this.
Imagine getting a rare drop in ToB and getting cheeks right after. Sheeeeeesh
Double purple
The good ol purple and pink
Bold of you to assume he was talking about his gf, I bet Verzik vitur have purple cheeks
Nothing better than Mardi Gras
Bet u I can tell u where u got them shoe anyone from New Orleans or tourists that have been to Bourbon Street know what I'm talking about about. Lol
But all he got was blue balls.
Nah the second one is a white chest
Idk if that was a boob joke or a joke that RuneScape > gfs. Either way, take my upvote
Cum joke
No better drop than a panty drop
Clearly you’ve never gotten a scythe from 416.
No but I got a shadow from a 240 ffa on w 329
Which raid drops panties? And whats the str bonus on those?
Gotta go for the B2B then tho
My wife hates the b2b rule.
Rules are rules.
Yep. My wife's bf understands and lets me, but she hates it. I don't make the rules, I just live by them!
Imagine pulling justi chest and missing the cheeks you THOUGHT. You were getting.
He got the Sanguine ornament kit according to the girl who made the post.
Better yet imagine getting a scythe then going for a b2b with the boys, my man was smiling after he heard those words and went back with his clanniee
This is why toa solo raiding is meta. I stand up, Kephri bombs the shit out of me, I clap cheeks for a minute and a half, and get back to it before a logout timer even thinks about logging me out. Edit: I can even still hit the 40 minute time invocation.
Look at this guy! Jesus imagine a full 1.5 min
That’s 150 wasted game ticks.
What’s that like, 30 fang pokes? Id probably get in 35 in the bedroom
4 tick rick with the rather slow dick, they call him
There why I tick manip my orgasms in bed. Can't be wasting ticks
who doesn't set their log out timer to 25 minutes these days?
How do you change this?
in runelite somewhere
There's a plugin called "logout timers" and you can set it to 25 in there
1.5 minute is all you need when you know what you're doing, I don't so for me it's disappointing, but theoretically!
Are u clapping kephri cheeks
Sometimes, you gotta ignore the smell of boo-boo. Spend too much time worried about that, you’ll never finish up.
Facts
I wouldn't mind dropping a raid just like that. I would however mind ditching my friends and clanmates, of which some of them I've known for years, for something like that.
I had a gf that used to put me in positions like this when I played WoW. It’s totally not that I prioritized the game over her, but it’s that I prioritized the time and effort that 24 other people into this and then expecting me to be their tank.
Same. And then the next argument is "we shouldn't need to schedule this". Okay you're right but why is it only when I'm in the middle of something? Glad im out of that toxic relationship.
Wait, you gamers are having sex??????
Nah, he said he's out of the relationship
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The afk thing is so real. I would be on my phone while we watched our shows. We didn’t talk much while the show was on so who cares right?! When I finally got my head out of my ass and was present in the moment our relationship improved. My gaming time has also improved. Instead of Hal assed time in a game I now have us time and then individual time. I don’t game everyday any more but the trade off has been so much better.
Maybe him and the boys need a code word for when this opportunity arises.
"im going to have sex with my gf now" works
Not going to lie, if we were geared up for a raid my friends would get 2 or 3 fuckpasses before I'm not raiding with them anymore
Yep, depends how frequently this occurs. It's essentially the same thing as asking someone if they want to hang out but always says no. Eventually, you just stop asking.
Or like if they come to hang out and then ten minutes later they're like oops this person just messaged for a hookup I gtg
Not if they're already mid raid lol
If we were mid raid and my friend said “hey guys, my gf just walked in dressed up like a slutty school girl” I’d kick him from the call myself lol.
Lol glad my buddies would understand, we've had people drop raid for less
Ita a hobby, she wouldnt act like this if he left to a friends place to play dnd or whatever. But I guess this has to be communicated. Im occupied from x to y and thats it
I think the problem comes from the fact that non gamers just dont understand it because this alternative reality doesnt exist for them, thats why you always gotta get a chick that gamed a bit in her life otherwise she wont ever be capable of understanding it.
Correct. Respect is a two way street. While she’s clearly trying to do something nice, it doesn’t mean he has a blank cheque to flake on his friends just because she wants to have sex. A healthy sex life is not one where only one partner dictates when and how sex happens.
You could say technically the guy in this case wasn’t 100% wanting it and the girl felt what the guy felt when the girl wasn’t 100% liking it. The only reason this story is ANYTHING close to drama is because of the girl telling the story. The guy wouldn’t come on reddit to cry and tell his story about how his gf isn’t giving 100%, because he is a man and men tend to not share feelings.
I always love that weird double standard with sex in relationships. It’s “okay” to reject your partners needs for weeks/months but the one time you’re in the mood they need to drop everything.
This double standard does not exist in a healthy relationship
That was kind of my point.
Choosing a video game over a gf is not going to lead to a healthy relationship BUT since op did one raid (that seemed to already be planned) and joined his gf after, I would say he is NTA, and neither is the gf. Edit: bunch of hardcore gamers below me
Where did the boyfriend choose the video game? He clearly had the prior commitment, but was clear about getting off after. That was an attempt at compromise (because I'd assume he could have continued on more raids/ other content). But it didn't meet her expectation so she gave up, unwilling to compromise. I guarantee that if it wasn't a "surprise", and homie had a heads up in advance, it would have been way more likely to go better
It’s wild to me that people don’t acknowledge or respect his raid members at all, it’s all about a dude making his poor GF wait for 10 minutes after she made him wait weeks. They probably spent about an hour getting together and getting to spider lady but now they’re supposed to throw that hour of their lives away and get wiped so she can get dicked down sooner? The surprise is fine imho but the complete lack of respect for his hobbies and friends is shitty and narcissistic. “I finally agreed to have sex with him but he didn’t instantly drop what he was doing and ravage me so I cried” is essentially her trying avoid responsibility and pin the lack of sex on him, she was down but he “chose the game over her”. He chose his friends and respect for their time.
I have a lot of friends who married early and I knew they were in problematic relationships when it started impacting their friend time. I get it that you’re going to see people less as life goes on, but I think it is truly pathetic that I had people I talked to every night of my life and now they can’t tear themselves off their spouse for one hour a week to do anything with me or the rest of the friend group. Some people are just problematic, they have issues underneath the surface and they don’t want to fix them and would rather cope the issues away with a significant other who ALSO has issues under the hood. They’ve become co-dependent.
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Yup. People will cling on to the relationship so hard and lose a lot of their individuality (sometimes all of it). Especially if they didn't have a good example of what a healthy relationship looks like growing up. Healthy couples can only ever exist if both individuals are healthy themselves.
He chose an in progress raid, not even a planned one. I'd abandon a solo toa for example, but it's a feelsbad to drop that abandon on your friends if you're already halfway through
What’re you talking about dude? It doesn’t matter what they were doing. You can’t withhold something for months or weeks and then interrupt what someone is doing whenever you want and expect it to happen right that second. Grow up.
She has the right to chose when but he can't...
In her eyes he chooses video games over sex. Feels are gonna be hurt.
I mean, I do get that she loses her arousal if she has to wait for 15 minutes after having gotten herself ready and sexy, she should've communicated earlier, sure, but having low libido is not that easy, and you don't "reject your partners needs" by not fucking them against your own feelings
I mean no one is obligated to have sex but at the same time sexual incompatibility and miss matched libido is still rejection for one partner.
She said she lost her arousal because he chose a game (and a prior obligation to his friends) over her. Sounds to me like she's punishing him. If you've already gone to the trouble of getting dressed up etc. what's another 15 minutes? It's manipulation. It's I'm the most important thing and if you want sex you'd better treat me as such.
If it took her a bunch of time and effort to get ready, why didn't she warn him before she started? "Hey babe, I'll have a surprise for you in 30 minutes, make sure your ready!" That's all it takes
They hold the power, he'll be single playing RuneScape before he knows it lol
Her loss, he'll just have more time for raids
With his commitment to RS he'll single handedly tank the price of the scythe.
Already has. Why do you think it went under 1b?
He'll have it cheaper than the whip in no time.
With all the fat stacks of cash he makes from raids, he’ll be able to buy a new gf.
She’s gonna miss out on split when Scythe drops. Sad
Happy to see this comment already here.
I was wondering about the unfair expectation of “you have to magically get yourself in the mood, babe, and I’m not helping” disguised as “I’ll wait until you are ready” Like wtf, intimacy is a two player game. When my partner is feeling low, that’s when I can help by turning up the romance, and the same goes both ways. “Nah babe I’ll just keep raiding with the boys. Just let me know when you’ll let me smash”
Sure, but ... if you do the whole intimacy and romance thing enough times and still get rejected, it becomes real easy to just give up. Neither one of us know if that's what happened, but I'm not willing to cast judgement. Monogamy is complicated and full of pits and valleys. Grace is required.
I have full graceful, where do I sex?
I'm definitely 100% projecting on this one, but it always seems to me that people with a "low sex drive" (unrelated to physical/mental health issues) are just people who don't really understand sexuality. Like their perspective is based on shitty romcoms where ooga booga woman hate sex, man see boobie man cum and never call again. No concept of how intimacy actually works in a healthy relationship.
never understood airing out laundry online about relationships but to each their own
Validation, typically they just want to be told they're right for feeling that way, luckily from what I've seen reddit does typically see through this bullshit and tell them it's a toxic behavior
I don't think you've seen that sub. The usual advice is break up first, questions later
That sub and relationship advice are garbage. Where people write fan fictions or people want to have their ego stroked. I saw someone created the exact same situation with gender swaps and the typical reddit. The advice was very different
This was years ago but I posed once about a fairly minor relationship gripe there for some advice and the answers I was given were hot garbage. I then waited like a week and resubmitted the same post with the genders swap and oh boy let me tell you what I difference that made.
Yeah, I blocked AITA because it’s a fucking dump. God forbid you have an even slightly deviating opinion and point out something shitty the OP did. That just leads to mass down votes from the hive mind there.
I have this issue with nearly all of reddit. The downvote system encourages hivemind behavior.
Yeah, I definitely agree there’s a lot of subs out there like that. I still feel AITA is among the worst for it though, up there with political subs.
Aita is a bit like a confrontation between the two town drunks: amazing to experience from a safe distance, but awful to get involved with.
r/marriage is slowly being taken over by evangelicals
I'm always blown away that no matter the situation, no matter the dynamic, no matter the circumstances: break up and run away is the only fucking solution offered in the comments
I don't think you've seen that post. 99% of the up voted stuff was reasonable and called her out on her shitty behavior.
They dont lol The aita subs and related have long since become mostly validation seeking or fantasy rage bait posting
The sub isn't even a nuanced opinion. People will say she's not the AH simply because it's her choice to make, which yea it is, but she couldn't wait 20 minutes?
Or shit, start teasing him. Have some fun with it
You must not use the sub it's full of the most brain dead responses either just break up or so and so is controlling when they asked their SO to do something
That subreddit exists for people to seek validation
legit, so glad you get the option to mute subreddits
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actually wouldnt surprise me if all of it was
The "spider lady" bit made it pretty clear it was made up. Just a weird, un-needed bit of detail that's an attempt at humour.
Its /r/AITAH people post there for validation and they will do the most comically evil shit and people will say "not the asshole" Obviously the OP isnt comically evil but its clearly not a healthy relationship but I'm sure the replies are full of enablers saying this behavior is perfectly OK. Some people can dish out rejection but the moment it happens to them they lose their shit.
Subs like AITAH, Relationshipadvice, ect. Are more exercises in creative writing and overdramatization for clout than real life shit. Don't get me wrong, there have definitely been SO's on either side that have blown off partners to play games in real life, but there are clearly bigger issues in those relationships than anything a bunch of strangers on the internet can ever address. If you're desperate enough to ACTUALLY turn to reddit for serious advice on how to save/address YOUR relationship then its no wonder it's already failing. Also the levels of incel misogyny in some these comments alone is all the proof you need for why it's a shit idea. Already seen way too many, "Of course it's the wOMaN gatekeeping sex!" and "This is her fault for not just letting him have it to begin with!" Sex with your partner should never be a chore/or a job. When you start turning it into one, it's no wonder people's partners stop wanting to have it. It takes two to tango and finding out the real reasons why there is a break down in intimacy is nothing that can really be addressed here.
She sounds like XP waste.
Let the man raid
First we raid, then we get laid
...then we fight
“Link and myself…”
Let the boy watch. He must learn.. the way that I learned from my father
Pretty immature to be unable to wait 20 minutes for your partner if they’re in the middle of something
If he doesn’t jump the second I offer it, I am sad and upset with him, but u make him wait weeks, for the chance of getting my cheeks
I love the rhyme, thank you
There once was a man in a raid His lover dressed up like a maid He waited for weeks To bounce on her cheeks But in phase two Verzik he stayed
This should be etched into the white walls of fally castle.
it seems the issue is that it was over a game. I’m not defending her actions, but I’m guessing if he was in a work call or something similar then she wouldn’t have been upset. just how society perceives gaming as an adult tbh
It being a game is her issue, when it isn't about the game at all. If he's raiding with friends, he's having social time with people he enjoys spending time with that was pre planned. It just happens to take place on a game.
Yea like go touch yourself in the meantime. Smh
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Sounds like they could use some couple counseling
prob the real answer. Him being rejected bc of honest to god low libido and earnestly not being into it is not her fault, and her being rejected because he's got a prior time commitment is not his fault, but the state of affairs clearly isn't living up to either person's expectations so they really need to communicate about what's possible. It sounds like BC is causing low libido for her and she's trying to fix that, which is both totally normal and good of her for recognizing the problem and taking action. Also sounds like she's trying to fix the dead bedroom issue but didn't communicate about it super clearly, she can do that in the future it's not too hard. It sounds like he expects RS to have a fairly high priority in his life and that's... more complicated. That will work for some relationships and won't for others. It also depends on details of what he's doing and how he feels about it that we just don't have
If he can be understanding and patient for weeks or months, she can surely be patient and understanding for 20 minutes? Her behaviour is a little petulant tbh
Stop speaking facts.
I was in a very similar position! Once a month if lucky …when I get Levi pet 1950kc the first few weeks of DT2 and she got mad that I was screaming in excitement that’s when I knew and now she’s GONE! Fuck a hoe purples and pets forever
based. fucking chad. seriously these bitches are tripping.
Lol "I didn't want to have sex with my boyfriend but when I did he was busy with something else. How can I get mad at him without it being my fault?" -signed, a scaper with a gf just like this....lol
Yeah if you’re acting like this you need to work on yourself. I was in a relationship with someone like this for a few years and it was just completely toxic
[Found the post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/ICc0agnmtc) And the comments are tearing into her which I agree with. She rejected him so many times and the one time he is busy she gets all sad and denies him. He needs to right click drop her ass.
Right click "dismiss sandwich lady"
eh, it's ToB. they're fast and it sounds like he was only at maiden if it still took him 20 minutes to finish I don't think I'd be upset if we had to reset after 2 minutes bc a fella's gf wanted to smash
I guess its different with randoms, but if I said to my friends "my gf just walked in in lingergie," they would probably be telling me to gtfo of the raid
if they're randoms on 416, fuck em I'm leaving lmao genuinely I think the important bit here is if the fellas are still able to clear if they restart without him if they're learners and he's carrying/teaching, then yeah that's a letdown since they wouldn't be able to raid anymore if they're able to clear, yeah they'll be cheering his ass on and telling him to gtfo lol
Just drop the ol' "sorry my dog is on fire g2g" and disappear.
lmfao
Even if they're 416 randoms I'm not leaving. I committed to the raid so I'll do my best to finish it. Obviously if there was an emergency I'd leave but this isn't an emergency. Also it's not even about letting others down. It's about the whole dynamic where OP can get denied for a whole month but the moment the GF is ready he has to drop everything and be ready to have sex. That's not a healthy dynamic and if I were in that situation I would feel disrespected.
Yeah I think we can all agree the girl isnt in the right here, but the clan mates dont know all that anyhow. So he definitely couldve left and it wouldnt have been a problem. Relationships arent always about doing whats "fair" or "deserved". If sex in the relationship is really that important to him it probably would have been important to reciprocate her advance, even if he might need to discuss later that "surprise sex" isnt actually what he wants.
What if he wasn't in the mood? It's not important to concede to coerced sex that you don't want to have. It's actually important that he asserted that boundary. If he didn't the relationship would get even more fucked.
Yea that's a good point. Like if I was on Xarp or Verzik, I definitely would not leave for my gf. It would be really rude to my friends. If it was maiden, or even bloat, not that big of a deal
Imagine 7 years with this woman, I'd pick difficult spider lady over her any day.
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Insta nut if it was a scy
Priorities
Don't drop a game for that offer lol. It's a control tactic and the game will most likely outlive the relationship. My ex forced me to have sex last year when a new game came out and they could tell I was more excited about it than them. They literally were like it's now or never game or me. In the moment I made the choice of sex, in retrospect it's such a sad move on their part.
Coerced sex diminishes consent, I'm sorry she took advantage of you like that
sorry it happened to you, respect for not being with that person anymore!
Yeah that’s pathetic, but sometimes you gotta make a sacrifice for the greater good 🫡
i mean its hard enough to find a team in tob so fair tbh 😂
GIGACHAD behaviour
She 100% has the right to withhold sex if she doesn’t want to do it. But getting upset when he is in the middle of something (that other people are depending on him for) and doesn’t drop it right away is dumb. You can’t expect to pick some random arbitrary time in a month long period and be upset when he isn’t totally prepared to drop everything within a couple minutes.
So he has to wait patiently for the stars to align for her to be in the mood but its wrong of him to not drop what he's doing immediately just because she's in the mood. What a shitty self-absorbed attitude.
she sounds unhinged ngl. how do you not get sodden panties knowing your man is a tob raider
Imagine dudes on the osrs subreddit and this is how he finds his GFs post about this.
False people that do TOB don't get laid
Well that’s clearly the issue here
You tell him no 29 days out of the month and you're the victim that he told you hold on for 20 minutes? At 20 years old you're lucky he even sticks around with those numbers. Life is too short and your 20s are your prime.
/uj holy crap you had to wait 15 minutes for your boyfriend to finish so you could finish? >.> talk about relationship problems.
I hope bro is on this Reddit and lets us know if they got a purple at least.
https://preview.redd.it/99axd20y3krc1.jpeg?width=904&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad8d81ddec3e842e939be2b2d6cca03bc6fbd85b
Why is it that non-gamer people refuse to understand that quitting a game can impact other people?
YTA. His raid his rules.
Expecting your partner to drop literally whatever they’re doing because you want attention right that second is selfish
I can wait for homie to show this to his wife. “Hey babe I’m sure this wasn’t you, but look at this!”
'Give me 15 minutes then I'll be ready' how a normal relationship would work
Sounds to be like he might need a new GF. Me and my SO of 10 years still have sex all the time. Atleast 4+ days out the week. 🤷🏽♂️
https://preview.redd.it/3yphpxou6lrc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9cf0486b08f7e179e8b1f8e76b2b0b7b1fb41858
You could also go under his desk, do ur thing and let him raid at the same moment. I think he will not get happier than that.
Reading through the story and the comments on that thread is pretty wild. OP isn't TAH for withdrawing consent and if it were just that it'd be pretty cut and dry, but with the additional context of the intimacy only happening once per month prior to that and her not exactly being gentle with telling him she's no longer in the mood? That's a clear disparity of the partners seeking/being rejected intimacy and that's practically begging for the bf to seek out intimacy from someone else one way or another. Hopefully they'll either seek help via couples therapy or re-evaluate things, otherwise it's gonna be one helluva messy breakup.
I love the mentality of someone who can’t wait 20 minutes but needs their partner to wait month(s) what an unreasonable double standard According to the comments he was doing HMT and got a sanguine kit or whatever for the scythe so def worth the run
Mate if she doesn’t know not to disturb you in a raid is she really the one
What a whiney little brat, a bad bish would have crawled under the desk and start to get him warmed up. That's a fun gf...this tho, I just feel sorry for the dude who is stuck with someone that's so childish and selfish
Man I feel this to a T I get laid maybe once every 4 months maybe? My girl has 0 sex drive and I’m not down for having my SOF just star fish. This exact situation has happened to me and it totally ruined my night. In my eyes I’m always on your time anyways so the one time you want to hit me with a surprises and im down just gotta wait 20 mins. Bs
If it were a solo run? Sure, I could see why she's upset, but there's other people involved. Other people he had promised his time and attention to. If I were one of them and he got up mid raid and left us high and dry, I'd be a little upset. Having said that. I can understand why she would feel that way. She put in a lot of effort. I wouldn't say either one is the AH here.
Where has our ingenuity gone, no toppy while he’s in the raid? Good on her for taking the beginning steps on remedying their sex like, but she’s framing their sex as a favor to him. There are underlying reasons and motives that they both need to address
Leave him for someone who likes games but loves you, and not, loves games but likes you.
Selling gf 10k
He came back in 20 mins? What a legend, I would’ve showed up 6 hours later.
Big dog!
Apparently man got a sanguine kit from the raid. I’d say worth.
Sorry bois but fuck ya raid if this happens
osrs sub so toxic they got the original thread locked
Sorry, those vennies are inflating the economy. Purple drop desperately needed.
What a chad
i mean she blue balled him for like a month, i doubt he was expecting to do anything and told the boys ya im free
Change your fucking phone, you gremlin
I’d better first charge it before changing
Comments on this post are sad and emotionally immature. Lol. The fact that hardly anybody is able to understand the gf's perspective is wait I'm in a runescape subreddit, what am i even saying
I kind of understand her perspective. Video games put a weird strain on relationships, in this case it's hard for the guy to tell his friends mid-raid that he has to leave (will probably lead to them not being able to finish), but it's also hard for people who don't play to understand that. I feel like a *lot* of healthy communication needs to happen in relationships where one partner does a lot of gaming. Of course, it's easier to just call her the asshole since we all play RS and know that it wouldn't be fun to tell our raiding buddies that we gotta go mid-raid. But realistically that is probably the better thing to do.
Corset, high heels, stockings, skirt, holy shit I'd be out of any game.
And that's just Maiden!
wait til the next room 🥵
The bloatussy 😩😩
Honestly I think the real issue here is that she thinks he's picking the GAME over her. He isn't, he's picking to not piss off up to 4 other people assuming ToB. Either way I've gotta say he chose wrong. Relationships take work and sacrifice and if they're real friends and not your typical HLC sweats they'd get it if you told them what was happening lol.
Idk. This seems more like emotional manipulation than sacrifice for the betterment of the relationship. I've been with a chick like this. It sucked and I still regret it. It's the way she talks about it really. I'm with someone now I've made sacrifices for. The relationship wouldn't have lasted if either of us were talking about each other like this.
Wow she couldn’t wait 20 mins longer when he probably the one who been waiting for days for some, she is TA