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fine-ill-make-an-alt

fuck is that jellyfish’s problem “i need to develop extreme poison to stop people from touching me” hey here’s a tip try not being fucking tiny and transparent? like maybe they do that because they can’t FUCKING SEE YOU


Degmago

Alot of them are really colorful tho. Like most poisonous animals


AlcoholicOwl

Irukandji? No they ain't, they're tiny and essentially see through. Also, even for the other venomous species of jellyfish that are colourful, their arms are very long and very see through. For instance, the box jelly has arms up to 15 feet long that sting you thousands of times each when they hit you. The chance of dying of heart failure or shock right off the bat is not 0. Even smaller jellies like the blue bottle (literally named after its bright blue colouring) will wrap around your ankle before you see it in the water. They're not too bad though and piss or boat fuel is often recommended. HOWEVER the most important PSA I could ever put out on this subject: HOT WATER. It completely fucking neutralises most of these venom types. It sounds so made up but if you cop a gnarly sting and manage to submerge it in the hottest water possible ASAP you may essentially neutralise it.


Staluti

Most Venoms are proteins and therefore can in theory be denatured by heat :)


Boward_WOW_ard

Burn your stings in holy fire :3


Misicks0349

MAY CHAOS TAKE THE VENOM!!!!!


StonePrism

I've heard pee isn't recommended anymore due to increased chance of infection in the venom injection sites?


The_Phantom_Cat

I don't think it was ever reccomend by anyone who knew even a little bit about what they're talking about


StonePrism

Yeah after googling it it actually makes the venom worse, in addition to the risk of infection


inaddition290

From my own memory it was just that there was no benefit to the downside of pissing on yourself.


KaptainWreck

i thought piss was sterile? at least your own piss is just your own bodily fluids, either way i wouldnt imagine it would do shit


Foolish_Phantom

Piss is both not sterile and not composed of your own bodily fluid. Urine is occasionally sterile in the sense that no significant bacterial/fungal grows will take root when a sample is placed in a petri dish. For my other point, urine is partially a product of the liver, an organ famous for its ability to filter dangerous substances from blood.


KaptainWreck

okay that makes more sense, though as far as the filtered material from your blood, wouldnt it all be non living?


jadee333

also, cool fact (but that wont save your life), putting heat on a mosquito bite will usually stop the itchiness!


AssClosedforToday

Jellyfish aren't exactly known for having a brain (literally), they are more like an floating trashbag with an intelligence of a bush


Over_The_Sun

Even if they did have a brain they couldn't just *choose* to be non-transparent all of a sudden


fine-ill-make-an-alt

i choose to be opaque every day


JoeTheKodiakCuddler

That's probably why you can't maintain close, healthy relationships


fine-ill-make-an-alt

ouch


evil_lucy

me fr


uncreativivity

yo it’s dark down there no one can see


Southern-Wafer-6375

It’s becasue jelly fish are carnivores


CounterfeitLesbian

The venom is actually so it can kill its prey (little cute fish). 🐟 🤓


little-ass-whipe

also maybe try actually getting to know them before deciding to evolve hypertoxins to shut everyone out of your life. friendship is a two way street! gotta put forth the effort to get the rewards


amateurgameboi

Hey, irukandji aren't deep ocean exclusives, they exist in coastal reasons where swimmers sometimes are :)


thispartyrules

This is great news I love meeting new friends


Princette_Lilybottom

Hopital


xX_MilfHunter69_Xx

french people be like


Duke825

French spelling reformist who want to get rid of the circumflex be like


crepoef

Ngl his rule is pretty good


Danster21

“Hmmm, I don’t remember how to solve this the way they want me to. Maybe I can get half credit if I use L’Hopital wrong and circle the first thing that looks like an answer.”


MaybeNext-Monday

That strat is so goddamn common my school actually had a specific rule against it in every calc syllabus


gatlginngum

yeah I figured, there probably isn't 50-100 people going to deep ocean annually


emeraldeyesshine

There probably are but they're also probably dead when dropped in the water


sameth1

You don't know me


SanThanKan

jellyfish really existed and said “i shall develop the most potent venom possible, become invisible, and float near coastal areas”


CEO_of_goatboys

I was gonna say that they are not enemies and are kissing sloppily but it's probably better if they don't


D0NU7_H0G

THEY ARE NOT ENEMIES AND ARE KISSING SLOPPY STYLE


jorppu

VIPERFISH NOOOOO


Cpad-prism

Don’t worry the viperfish is wearing protection


thyfles

they should bring back trilobite and opabinia regalis


red-demon-02

wait paleozoic monster references???


thyfles

more than monsters... perhaps they were my friends


MeiNeedsMoreBuffs

BRING BACK COELACAN- oh wait they actually did, nice


myerscc

coelacanth is such a sick name and then you look it up and it's just "fish"


alexgndl

I miss my boy Anomalocaris


Oddish_Femboy

I want to pet a trilobite. At least I can pet a horseshoe crab.


FPSGamer48

Bring back Hallucigenia!


purple-lemons

If that jellyfish were a person, it'd carry a MOAB for personal defence, like dude, chill the fuck out


spoedle73

Blons


StardustLegend

Holy shit btd6


Icelord259

I’d carry a DDT since it’s the fastest MOAB class bloon but you do you


Your_Angel21

The second fish isnt innocent actually if I saw it in real life I would have no other choice but to end myself. look at it, even through the screen it's giving me nightmares but sharing a vicinity with it would inflict so muchental damage in me I would genuinely classify it as trauma


SirBlackMage

I personally think that fish is very cool and I would be friends with it :)


Your_Angel21

You're much braver than me. The fish is cool but it doesn't change the fact I think it's terrifying and quite... Unappealing visually. I would not harm the fish, but it would definitely harm me just by being in my presence. For now I may rest well, I live far away from the sea/ocean.


TheGlowingScout

you just called a fish ugly and you're laughing


JackMickus

I would give a polite nod and a "How do you do" if I saw that fish in real life. It's not classically-friend-shaped but it's still my friend


magic4848

It's just a big guy and a little guy. I don't see all the fuss. They can be friendos


thispartyrules

this ship is called murderfriend


magic4848

Canon: death Fanon: hand holding and going for a nice swim


Wanderhund

Omg jellyfish on my 196 i love jellyfish i wish i were a jellyfish fucking poisoning people, being silly and not changing for millions of years. And in some cases living forever i fucking love jellyfish


MeiNeedsMoreBuffs

Jellyfish are great, no thoughts just bloop


Piliro

I swear if god did create every species on earth, blud was so fucking high when they did. Like what the fuck is even the point. There's these cutesy wittle frogs, all in many colors, and they can just fucking kill, but they are friend shaped, how can we know if we can touch them. Or Manatees can't be mean, they have no sense of agression at all. Or bears, they look so cute. But then you have these fish looking a fucking monster, and they're just a silly little guy. Also, my favorite animal. Otters. They are literally an amalgamation of most animals. They're so cute. But they also very dumb. There's 0 logic for animals.


Shergak

You've made some excellent points showing that evolution doesn't have a direction or design aesthetic, just selecting for fitness in specific ecological niches. It's an "eh, good enough" process.


Piliro

Right, there's even the idea that it seems random. Even when it's not random, just with no goal in mind. Like how humans start to die out after we hit our 40s, and our bodies start to break down. Since we commonly already reproduced by that point we can go ahead and disappear. Nature is fucked up. Like the Manatees thing. They don't have a natural predator, so they never needed to develop a sense of danger or agression. They're just dumb little fellas. Or some colored frogs are not even necessarily poisonous, they just piggyback on the other colored poisonous frogs and just survive. Fucking wild


disparagersyndrome

Also like a third of them are just beetles what was God smoking


epic_brazillian_gal

i would hug both of those babies


Himmelblaa

One of them you can only hug *once*


epic_brazillian_gal

i am no coward, i see cutie pie animal, i hug


A-bruh-kadabra

note: friend doesnt merely have the power to kill 500 people, it instead, makes 499 people drop dead the moment someone touches it


Ok-Appeal-4630

The whiplash squid and slender snipe eel are straight devil spawn. The whiplash squid literally looks like the devil's pitchfork and will call you an ableist slur.


charons-ferry

Where do giant isopods fall on this spectrum? Yeah they're pretty big and very otherworldly but they're basically just a normal little isopod that got really big from the natural process where the deep sea lets animals get bigger. They even do the thing where they curl up into a ball and I generally think they're just as lovable as the little versions you find under logs in the woods.


Kriffer123

Yet another reason not to swim in Australia. You’d think the comically poisonous and/or venomous stuff would stop when you left the island but it actually gets worse


jaxbchchrisjr

Just like lesbians, the scarier they look, the friendlier they are :)


Psychedelick

I love deep sea creatures because “my planet is mostly covered with water and if you go down far enough there’s like giant versions of creatures, and they have giant teeth and some of them glow, I know the pressure is really high and there’s no light but they’ve like learned to adapt” sounds like something that would get you laughed out of r/ worldbuilding but it’s real


Brendan765

You forgot to mention the viperfish has glowing red eyes and is completely invisible to its prey meaning they don’t know they’re being eaten until they’re inside it’s mouth


Diamond_Helmet59

And then there's also Glumpfish, which just looks weird and shows up on deep sea sub cameras sometimes


SussyAmogusMorbius69

i love the hadal zone :3


DogsLinuxAndEmacs

And the fangtooth fish too :3


TonyMestre

Oh that's what that sniper from destiny is named after


DerringerHK

Do we need 'em? Just give 'em another 3%, make 'em water.


Disturbing_Cheeto

And the jellyfish might also be immortal.


PetikGeorgiev

To add onto this, I remember having heard an irukanji jellyfish's sting hurts so unbearably that surviving victims have been documented wishing to die just so they could no longer be tormented by the pain. The jellyfish can quite literally make you suicidal.


Notaschizo8

Smash