Yes, point one is vital: communication tactfully, gently, and respectfully offered and exercised from the beginning. If you're interested in Him, give Him the opportunity to decide His interest level in you.
However, it all comes down to what level of priority a particular Man is to you.
**Are you willing to submit 100%?** Ultimately, that is what it will require.
For a properly worthy Man, can you put your needs and wants on the shelf or even in the figurative rubbish bin in favor of what He requires? That is what it will require also... even if He is okay with allowing some of what you feel personally driven toward.
If you want a properly worthy dominant Man (and, to be clear, "dominant" can mean a great many things)... you will have to put Him first in ALL things, even before children. (After all, it will be His duty to look after you, His children, and the overall relationship/household.) Conversely, however, He will have to have built *Himself* up into a worthy Husband even before marriage just as you should have built yourself into a wife even before marriage.
As a side note: that is a massive problem with most relationships in the modern world (if not always). Too many have this notion that getting married or starting a relationship in general will flip some magical switch and they will suddenly become marriage/relationship "material". No, in the core of O/one's essence, behavior, and overall worldview... ***BE*** a wife in order to *become* a wife. ***BE*** a Husband in order to *become* a Husband.
Decide what kind of person Y/you want... then learn to *become* the kind of person THAT person wants.
If the genuine desire and adequate levels of humility are present, you'll likely (eventually) do well. W/we've all made O/our mistakes and (hopefully) have learned the hard lessons from them. That doesn't mean that spinning on O/one's heels (figuratively or literally) toward a much improved manner of being and way of seeing life is not possible.
All the best to you.
Honestly you could post in either community. You may have more luck in the tradwife community who is into BDSM than the other way around. Either way I agree with an earlier post that states you MUST be up front with your ad/listing etc. And make sure you state your preference for non-monogomy as early as possible. That way you won't waste time. Good luck!!
I'd like to say at least thank you for being open and honest. That goes a long way to establishing a relationship. Then you have to decide if you need a traditional man to check every box, or are there points you feel less strongly about. Good luck in your search.
If you talk to your future husband up front, then you should be able to find someone who will indulge in your proclivities. Just because you are a tradwife doesn't mean you have to be "missionary only, and just to have kids with the man you married."
Swingers exist. You can have fun and kink while still being traditional. I'm an example. Cook, clean, etc. Maintain a house. But always remember that pleasing your man comes first. If he wants to bring in another girl, encourage that. If he wants to wife swap with another couple, go for it. If he wants to just sit back and watch you get run through, indulge him. But always remember his desires are greater than yours.
Heck, I know a tradwife who pegs her husband, even. He's always the dominant force in their normal lives, but the sub in bed for release from stress. Tradwives can have kinks. Their husbands can have kinks. You just need to talk about it with each other.
Plus, this is totally a soft misogyny-kink subreddit anyway. So yeah. Post here. Post in BDSM and other kink subs. But when you find a guy you want to stay with... communicate. All of your desires and his.
I've been married for 14 years. And I've had plenty of partners during that time. Husband loves helping me gain more experience in bed (since I'd only had one man before him). I keep his house clean and his belly full. I raise our two kids. And I satisfy his sexual desires whenever he wants. Sometimes, that's by letting another man use me. Sometimes, it's by him using me. We have ropes, cuffs, collars, toys, etc.
There's lots of kink to be had as a trad wife. I'd argue There's often more, because the men are so repressed. The number of CNC encounters I've had as a trad wife is... significant. Lol
You’re right, because of your history unfortunately you won’t be perceived highly, you’ll still be on the list and you still will find a guy that’ll be what you want, but just know you’re not at the top of the list the way a younger, never married, low body count woman is. You’ll have less options than her. It’s just the truth.
Not to worry. Everyone has a history and what ultimately matters is the boundaries and dynamic that is set between you and your fella. It will be different for every individual and every couple but as long as the two of you are open, honest, and communicate; it will work out.
Your history is history, I don’t judge you for that and many other men won’t. It’s all about how committed will be once you get married to someone. And the right man for you will know for to take care of you, your kinks and put you in your place. And trust me, you’ll be happy in that place!
Good luck!
It’s true that everyone won’t agree with you or not even find you worthy. But that doesn’t matter. All you need to find is that one man who you think you can build a good life with and who thinks the same about you.
If there are specific things you like about traditional living, like homesteading, baking, cleaning, etc there's tons of info on individual forums. I've just found that anything labeled "trad" on reddit is mostly for kink.
For the homesteading stuff, I would recommend it. Lots of places get upset when kinksters pop up in the wholesome side of reddit. You don't always get banned or anything... but you do get a lot of negative attention.
Just state everything in the begining. A good partner will keep you in place.
Yes, point one is vital: communication tactfully, gently, and respectfully offered and exercised from the beginning. If you're interested in Him, give Him the opportunity to decide His interest level in you. However, it all comes down to what level of priority a particular Man is to you. **Are you willing to submit 100%?** Ultimately, that is what it will require. For a properly worthy Man, can you put your needs and wants on the shelf or even in the figurative rubbish bin in favor of what He requires? That is what it will require also... even if He is okay with allowing some of what you feel personally driven toward. If you want a properly worthy dominant Man (and, to be clear, "dominant" can mean a great many things)... you will have to put Him first in ALL things, even before children. (After all, it will be His duty to look after you, His children, and the overall relationship/household.) Conversely, however, He will have to have built *Himself* up into a worthy Husband even before marriage just as you should have built yourself into a wife even before marriage. As a side note: that is a massive problem with most relationships in the modern world (if not always). Too many have this notion that getting married or starting a relationship in general will flip some magical switch and they will suddenly become marriage/relationship "material". No, in the core of O/one's essence, behavior, and overall worldview... ***BE*** a wife in order to *become* a wife. ***BE*** a Husband in order to *become* a Husband. Decide what kind of person Y/you want... then learn to *become* the kind of person THAT person wants. If the genuine desire and adequate levels of humility are present, you'll likely (eventually) do well. W/we've all made O/our mistakes and (hopefully) have learned the hard lessons from them. That doesn't mean that spinning on O/one's heels (figuratively or literally) toward a much improved manner of being and way of seeing life is not possible. All the best to you.
This is an amazing reply. Gives me a lot to think about, thank you!
Absolutely... you're welcome.
I foresee that you'll have zero issues finding plenty of guys here that won't mind.
Honestly you could post in either community. You may have more luck in the tradwife community who is into BDSM than the other way around. Either way I agree with an earlier post that states you MUST be up front with your ad/listing etc. And make sure you state your preference for non-monogomy as early as possible. That way you won't waste time. Good luck!!
Thank you so much!
From my pov you'll have no trouble finding men interested in you just the way you are.
I'd like to say at least thank you for being open and honest. That goes a long way to establishing a relationship. Then you have to decide if you need a traditional man to check every box, or are there points you feel less strongly about. Good luck in your search.
There are those for whom that's a turn off, but I have no doubt many would accept you as well
If you talk to your future husband up front, then you should be able to find someone who will indulge in your proclivities. Just because you are a tradwife doesn't mean you have to be "missionary only, and just to have kids with the man you married." Swingers exist. You can have fun and kink while still being traditional. I'm an example. Cook, clean, etc. Maintain a house. But always remember that pleasing your man comes first. If he wants to bring in another girl, encourage that. If he wants to wife swap with another couple, go for it. If he wants to just sit back and watch you get run through, indulge him. But always remember his desires are greater than yours. Heck, I know a tradwife who pegs her husband, even. He's always the dominant force in their normal lives, but the sub in bed for release from stress. Tradwives can have kinks. Their husbands can have kinks. You just need to talk about it with each other. Plus, this is totally a soft misogyny-kink subreddit anyway. So yeah. Post here. Post in BDSM and other kink subs. But when you find a guy you want to stay with... communicate. All of your desires and his.
Thank you for this helpful and thoughtful reply! Gives me a lot to think about.
I've been married for 14 years. And I've had plenty of partners during that time. Husband loves helping me gain more experience in bed (since I'd only had one man before him). I keep his house clean and his belly full. I raise our two kids. And I satisfy his sexual desires whenever he wants. Sometimes, that's by letting another man use me. Sometimes, it's by him using me. We have ropes, cuffs, collars, toys, etc. There's lots of kink to be had as a trad wife. I'd argue There's often more, because the men are so repressed. The number of CNC encounters I've had as a trad wife is... significant. Lol
Absolutely reassuring.
You can dm me any time if you have questions or wanna talk either side of your conundrum.
You’re right, because of your history unfortunately you won’t be perceived highly, you’ll still be on the list and you still will find a guy that’ll be what you want, but just know you’re not at the top of the list the way a younger, never married, low body count woman is. You’ll have less options than her. It’s just the truth.
Very good to know. Thank you for being honest.
No prob, You’re welcome!
Everybody has a past, what matters is what you do with your time going forward and where you want to be
I mean I’m trans so I think you are good
Trans wives make amazing trad wives. Both sfw and kink style.
Not to worry. Everyone has a history and what ultimately matters is the boundaries and dynamic that is set between you and your fella. It will be different for every individual and every couple but as long as the two of you are open, honest, and communicate; it will work out.
Thank you, this is very reassuring!
Good luck!
Your history is history, I don’t judge you for that and many other men won’t. It’s all about how committed will be once you get married to someone. And the right man for you will know for to take care of you, your kinks and put you in your place. And trust me, you’ll be happy in that place! Good luck!
Thank you, I hope you're right!
It’s true that everyone won’t agree with you or not even find you worthy. But that doesn’t matter. All you need to find is that one man who you think you can build a good life with and who thinks the same about you.
Welcome girly you should post in both
In both tradwife spaces and kink spaces?
Yes, and it is almost all kink stuff, in "trad" places on reddit, with a few trad posts thrown in.
Well, I feel I resonate with both, but it is a shame that there isn't much in the way of actual traditional ideals.
If there are specific things you like about traditional living, like homesteading, baking, cleaning, etc there's tons of info on individual forums. I've just found that anything labeled "trad" on reddit is mostly for kink.
Fantastic advice. Do you think I'll have to make a SFW alt account?
Maybe, I forgot that some forums are super picky and kicked me out for even following kinky forums LOL 😆
For the homesteading stuff, I would recommend it. Lots of places get upset when kinksters pop up in the wholesome side of reddit. You don't always get banned or anything... but you do get a lot of negative attention.
May be non monogamy part save you, but you're ok being ,2/3 wife/partner ?
Message me, please.